Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNICKERING)

(SNORING)

(DOOR OPENS)

(CHUCKLING)

DASTARDLY: Excellent.

The garage is empty, Muttley.

(SNICKERING)

This is an opportune opportunity

to incapacitate my competitors conveyances.

(LAUGHING)

Oil's well that ends well.

-(CHUCKLING) -(CAT MEOWING)

(MUTTLEY SNICKERING)

I never get tired of showing Perfect who's...

-Dastardly! -(SCREAMS)

Spying on me during an act of sabotage.

Not very sporting.

No, sweetie, we're all hiding here trying to solve a mystery.

What mystery?

We're trying to figure out where Tiny and Bella sleep at night.

Uh-oh, here they come.

(YAWNING)

Hurry up, Tiny. I'm dead tired.

Coming, Bella.

Duck!

I don't see any ducks.

This barrel smells like Perfect's gym locker.

Shh... This is our chance to see where they go.

Gosh, this is exciting.

(CREAKING)

Oh, give me a boost inside, little brother.

A one, and a two...

He's not gonna try to fit through that little... Ugh.

That's gotta chafe.

How is that possible?

Hurry, Tiny.

Yes, Bella.

(GRUNTING)

I can't watch.

(GAGGING)

That's where they go, every night.

Now, how can they possibly fit in the back of that car?

Maybe they took the spare tire out.

It defies the laws of time and space.

I don't have time for you yammering yutzes.

Let's just ask them.

That might not be a good idea.

Dastardly, don't disturb them. We don't want to be rude.

Or eaten.

Hey, look here, open up in there.

Open up, I say.

Let me see, hmm.

Your chin is blocking my view, Perfect.

-Let me see. -I wanna look.

Haven't you people ever heard of personal space?

I think I see something.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

Argh!

All my stars and garters, we fell through that?

Impossible. It defies the laws of time and space.

-Roomy. -Will you dim-witted dolts get off of me?

Where are we?

The Gruesome Twosome's trunk.

Oh, I see. And how do we get out?

Hmm, that's a good question.

Maybe we should look around?

Oh... Creepy.

This place is giving my jeebies the heebies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's impossible.

-It... -ALL: Defies the laws of time and space!

Well, it does.

I'm sure Bella and Tiny can explain all this.

Bella! Tiny! Y'all in here?

(ECHOING)

Mmm, huh?

(SHRIEKING)

(CONTINUES SHRIEKING)

How could we be Bella and Tiny?

We're so much better looking.

(CHUCKLING) Oh, you smooth talker.

Why don't we put our heads together someday?

(CHUCKLING) Your jar or mine?

(LAUGHING)

-Okay, yeah. That's disturbing. -Indeed.

Yoo-hoo, Bella, Tiny, come out, come out, wherever you are.

They must be in one of these oddly shaped rooms.

Oh, hey, excuse me, I can see you're wrapped up,

but, could you tell me where I could find

a little guy about ye tall, and a big guy about...

(GROWLING)

Um... Never mind. We'll keep looking, thanks.

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

What now?

Maybe we should go that way?

(GRUNTING)

(DINGING)

Huh?

(GROWLING)

Muttley, you maliciously malodorous, malignant minion.

I told you to go before we...

(GROWLING)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Gang way, you lolly gagging gang of lethargic goofballs.

Why do you suppose he's in such a hurry?

(GROWLING)

Oh!

Pull, you puny pooch. Pull.

It won't budge.

Keep pulling.

Um, guys...

Not now, darling.

-But, guys, I think... -Sorry, little buddy, but this is a job for brawn not brain.

Actually I surmise we would engender egress with greater alacrity

if you reversed your application of angular energy.

Speak English, you hyper intelligent half-pint.

The sign says, "Push."

Huh?

Oh.

-(GROWLING) -(SCREAMING)

Ooh...

ALL: Oh...

Why is it that everybody always lands on me?

(SNICKERING)

I don't think we're in Wacky Races' garage anymore.

(WOLF HOWLING)

Goodness, how do they fit all this junk in their trunk?

Actually, I think it may be some sort of energy matter compression matrix.

You just make that stuff up, don't you?

What? No, I...

You know what, honey, I don't even care anymore.

We just need to find Bella and Tiny so we can get out of here in one piece.

I'm sure if we all stick together...

(SCREAMING)

Every man for himself...

(GRUNTING)

Which way do we go?

Hey, I know. Let's ask directions from over there.

Pardon me. We're from out of town and we're wondering...

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

(PANTING)

Zombies! They eat brains.

Which means, to them I'm like an all you can eat buffet.

I gotta get out of here.

Go ahead, little fella, you make a run for it.

I'll create a decoy.

Yoo-hoo, zombies, over here.

Fresh brains. Yum-yum.

Okay, that's just insulting.

(LAUGHING) The last place they'll ever look for me.

Dastardly, you're a genius.

(YELPING)

This coffin isn't big enough for the two of us, you four legged fool.

(SHRIEKING)

I thought I made it perfectly clear to you

that I would... Oh...

Hmm?

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Muttley!

(INDISTINCT CLAMORING)

Will you keep it down out here?

You're making enough noise to wake the dead?

(SHRIEKING)

(SCREAMING)

Peter, there you are. Oh, thank my stars.

-We need to come up with a plan. -Hide.

I'm being chased by the invisible man.

How can you tell?

Look.

Hmm, kinda weird that he wears sunglasses at night.

Seriously, that's the strangest thing to you about an invisible man?

Well, he's taller than I thought he'd be.

I wish I had longer legs.

(NEIGHING)

Excuse me, my good man,

you appear to be sitting on my head.

Hey, buddy, you're giving me a headache.

(SCREAMS)

Did that odd little fellow bother you, head?

No. I was just lonely with no body around.

Sorry about that.

(STUTTERING) Penelope, Peter, wait for me.

Oh, I.Q., darling, I'm so glad to see you.

I was getting worried, little buddy.

Listen, I've done a multiple regression analysis of our situation

and have concluded that our best chance of survival

is in that incredibly creepy, danger filled, haunted house.

-Really? -Well, maybe I better check my math again.

Hmm...

Dibs on the house.

(ALL GRUNTING)

(SHRIEKING)

(MUMBLING)

(SCREAMING)

Ugh...

-(KNOCKING) -Dastardly, open up.

This is no time for kidding around.

Who's kidding?

After those monsters devour your ample mass

they may be too full to masticate their mandibles

on Muttley and myself.

(SNICKERING)

Dastardly, I'm on my way out for a spell.

Would you be a dear and get the door for me?

Oh, why certainly.

(SCREAMING)

Oh, curse you, chivalry.

Quick! Everyone upstairs.

-(HOWLING) -Quick! Back downstairs.

(GROWLING)

Quick! Never mind, out the back door.

(ALL GASPING)

-(ROARING) -(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SHRIEKING)

They'll never take us alive.

I don't think that's their plan.

Don't let them eat my incredible brain.

Mail it to science.

Do you have sciences' mailing address?

I'll text it to you.

I, Peter Perfect, do hereby leave my trademark dimple to women kind.

Here, take Muttley.

He's delicious. No artificial preservatives or fillers.

(ROARING AND GROWLING)

What's all the hubbub, bub?

What up, dudes?

Bella! Thank goodness.

We were about to be torn to shreds by hideous monsters.

Where?

There! The monsters right there.

See, fangs.

But, all I see is my family.

ALL: Your family?

Family. Good...

Yes. Tonight is the annual Gruesome family reunion.

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMING)

Happy Halloween!

Yay!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Friends like family?

Absolutely. Great bunch of guys and ghouls.

They're just to die for.

All a real scream.

I have to say, your cousins have impeccable dress sense.

Don't you agree, Muttley?

(SNICKERING)

Ah, it's so heart cooling to have the people you care about

together for the holidays.

Family good.

ALL: Happy Halloween, everyone!

(SNICKERING)

(SNICKERING)

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