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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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(SNICKERING)
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This is big Brick Crashman,
with you again!
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We're here at the world-famous Wacky Labs
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waiting to learn what today's exciting new race challenge will be.
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As always, we have Peter Perfect.
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Hello, everyone.
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-BRICK: Penelope Pitstop.
-Hi, y'all.
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00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:39,005
-BRICK: The Gruesome Twosome.
-Blah!
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00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,573
BRICK: Dick Dastardly and Muttley.
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-Ha!
-(SNICKERING)
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BRICK: And I.Q. Ickly...
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Hey, everybody.
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BRICK: And over here, is the dashing Captain Dash.
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Avast, ye TV-watching lubbers!
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BRICK: And his PDQ-crew, Polly.
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(SQUAWKS) We're all doomed.
Doomed, I tells you.
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00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:00,389
-BRICK: Bugsy.
-Hello.
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00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:02,260
-BRICK: Bluebeard.
-Arrr.
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00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,469
BRICK: And Davey Bones.
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Now, here's the owner of
Wacky Races Sport Enterprises,
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P.T. Barnstorm!
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Howdy!
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Brick, I am thoroughly
excited to announce...
25
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-(DOGS YIPPING)
-Huh?
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-(YIPPING CONTINUES)
-(CAT YOWLS)
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Hey, what's that alley cat
doing in here?
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He's scaring my poodles.
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-(COUGHS)
-Yuck!
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Oh, Brick, be careful.
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Isn't he just
the cutest little thing?
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-(RETCHES)
-Don't get it near me!
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I'm allergic to cats.
As well as children, Christmas carols,
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and the sound of laughter.
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(LAUGHS) How can anyone
be allergic to laughter?
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-(LAUGHS)
-(SNEEZES)
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Gesundheit. And, yuck.
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(SNICKERING)
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Oh, where was I? Oh, yes.
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For today's race,
I proudly present...
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The Track-a-Wack 3000!
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(MACHINERY WHIRRING)
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PENELOPE: Why, I declare,
it's an itsy-bitsy,
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teeny-weeny
little old racetrack.
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It's nearly as minute
as Perfect's brain.
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Wow, that is small,
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but isn't it too little
for our cars?
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Not as long as we have our
boy-genius inventor around.
49
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,597
I.Q., will you show everyone
50
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,409
your latest
science-gizmo thingy?
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(MACHINERY WHIRRING)
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(ENERGY PULSING)
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I call it the De-Bigifier!
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(REVVING)
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Cool name. What does it do?
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Makes big things not big.
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Hey, I've got a crazy idea.
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If you use this to shrink us
and our cars,
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we'll be small enough
to race on that teeny-tiny little track.
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Smart.
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What a good idea, Peter.
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Tell them how it works, I.Q.
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We just drive onto the staging
platform, right there,
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and the De-Bigifier
does the rest.
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I see.
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00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,167
Muttley, this is
an opportune opportunity
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00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:55,508
to use deception and deceit
to assure victory. Attend.
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(WHISPERING INCOHERENTLY)
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00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:58,907
(SNICKERING)
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-Understand?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:03,578
Then get to it,
you half-pint hench-mutt!
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(SMOOCHING)
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00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,657
This is a bad idea. (SQUAWKS)
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00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,792
Oh, Polly. You always say that
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right before something
horrible happens.
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-PENELOPE: I think
it's all very exciting. -PETER: It certainly is.
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-(WHISTLING)
-BELLA: It really gets my blood flowing.
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TINY: Tiny want to get tiny.
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00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,705
(ALARMS SOUNDING)
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00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:30,175
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
81
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:32,914
The de-bigging matrix
has been activated!
82
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,880
Hurry! To the cars!
83
00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:38,890
Oh. Pickled herring.
My favorite.
84
00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:40,723
Hmm. Now, do we have any jam?
85
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(ZAPPING)
86
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(ZAPPING)
87
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:47,428
Where did they go?
88
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:48,804
Look out!
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00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,102
-(GROUP SCREAMING)
-PENELOPE: Step on it!
90
00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:52,825
Everybody else
got really, really big.
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00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,370
What a strange thing to do.
92
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,635
No, darling.
I think we just got small.
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00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:57,973
PETER: Oh, hey...
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00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,338
Do you think
this has anything to do
95
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,637
with that shrink-ray
I.Q. showed us?
96
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,078
TINY: Smart.
97
00:04:03,144 --> 00:04:05,954
Now, where could they
possibly have gotten to?
98
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,983
(SNEEZING)
99
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:11,948
ALL: (SCREAMING) No!
100
00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:15,169
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
101
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,700
(ALL GRUNTING)
102
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:26,733
Is this Limburger and jelly?
103
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,600
Arrr!
104
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:32,309
(ALL SCREAMING)
105
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,972
BLUEBEARD: Arrr.
106
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,311
I can't see them anywhere.
107
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,336
Did you check
the bottom of your shoes?
108
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:38,410
Ew!
109
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:40,879
-(CHEWING) Excuse me.
-Yes?
110
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,918
That is the finish line
right there, correct?
111
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,623
I believe,
as the only racer left,
112
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,786
that makes me the winner!
113
00:04:47,856 --> 00:04:50,586
-It does?
-He crossed the finish line first.
114
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,927
So, technically,
Dastardly won.
115
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,903
(SNICKERING)
116
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:58,112
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
117
00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:06,369
Where are we?
118
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,840
And what are those things?
They're beautiful.
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00:05:09,911 --> 00:05:13,351
Those are red corpuscles.
I'd say we've been digested,
120
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:15,824
and are in Dastardly's
circulatory system.
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I could stay here forever.
122
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,716
-I.Q.: (ON RADIO)I'm afraid you can't.
-Blah! Why?
123
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,087
We were sent in
without the use
124
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,786
of the miniaturization
stabilization platform.
125
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,088
So in just under six minutes,
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00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,960
we'll revert to our original sizes.
127
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,628
-Inside Dastardly?
-Ew.
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00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:33,197
(SQUAWKS) Abandon ship.
129
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,167
We need to get out of here,
and fast!
130
00:05:35,236 --> 00:05:36,566
The most efficacious
route of egress
131
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,037
would be through
Dastardly's largest orifice.
132
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ALL: His what?
133
00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,075
His nose. Just be careful not
to touch anything, because...
134
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,383
Bella! What are you doing?
135
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,375
Oh, just getting
a snack for the road.
136
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:48,317
That is exactly
what I'm talking about.
137
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:51,152
We can't alert Dastardly's immune system to our presence.
138
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,948
-Why not?
-I.Q.: It will mostly likely react
139
00:05:53,021 --> 00:05:57,021
like we're disease cells,
and send antibodies to destroy us.
140
00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:58,731
I think they already
know we're here.
141
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:03,793
-(CLAMORING)
-Iniquitously intrusive intruders!
142
00:06:04,265 --> 00:06:05,665
(CLAMORING CONTINUES)
143
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,203
Those are definitely
some antisocial antibodies.
144
00:06:08,269 --> 00:06:09,869
And it's our bodies
they're anti.
145
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,707
To the rigging, me hearties!
146
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:14,812
Set sail,
and darn the torpedoes!
147
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,375
-Arrr.
-What's the point?
148
00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:18,454
Kiss your bumpers goodbye.
We've had it.
149
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:21,682
Let's get out of here. C.A.R.,
activate emergency thrusters.
150
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:26,749
C.A.R.: Emergency thrusters activated.
151
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,332
(CLAMORING)
152
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,263
We're here with the winner,
by default,
153
00:06:34,328 --> 00:06:37,168
of today's Wacky Race,
Dick Dastardly.
154
00:06:37,232 --> 00:06:41,602
Dastardly, this is
the first time you've ever actually won a race.
155
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:42,698
It must be very exciting.
156
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,840
(CHUCKLING) Oh, no, no...
Not really.
157
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(SPITS) Huh?
158
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:49,643
After all, it is only a race.
159
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,010
(BELCHES) Oh. Excuse me.
160
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,109
(CHUCKLES) Must be
something I ate.
161
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,381
-(ENGINES ROARING)
-(CLAMORING)
162
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,949
PETER: They're still
right behind us!
163
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,647
Yes, but where are we?
164
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,049
This is Dastardly's brain.
165
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,260
Specifically,
his cerebral cortex.
166
00:07:02,323 --> 00:07:03,623
Ooh! Nice sulcus!
167
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,990
Mmm. Brains!
168
00:07:06,061 --> 00:07:09,331
PENELOPE: I do hope
us driving around in here doesn't affect Dastardly.
169
00:07:09,397 --> 00:07:11,197
I.Q.: Stimulation of
cognitive neurons
170
00:07:11,266 --> 00:07:14,736
may cause him
to exhibit random mental and physical aberrations.
171
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,241
So, no change, then.
172
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,713
Dastardly, please tell
our audience about yourself.
173
00:07:18,773 --> 00:07:22,813
Well, Brick, I was born
at a very young age.
174
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,006
-(BRAIN ZAPS)
-(GULPS)
175
00:07:24,078 --> 00:07:25,578
-(EXCLAIMING)
-Something wrong?
176
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,646
(EXCLAIMING) Of course not.
Why... Do you...
177
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,315
(EXCLAIMING) Ask?
178
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:31,724
You just hit yourself.
179
00:07:31,786 --> 00:07:33,786
-No, I didn't.
-Why are you hitting yourself?
180
00:07:33,855 --> 00:07:35,455
-(GRUNTS)
-Why are you hitting yourself?
181
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,193
-(GRUNTS)
-Why are you hitting yourself?
182
00:07:37,258 --> 00:07:39,158
-(GRUNTS)
-Why are you hitting yourself?
183
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,456
-(GRUNTS)
-Why are you hitting yourself?
184
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:45,399
Now, that's a little peculiar.
Even for Dastardly.
185
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:50,466
Dastardly's nose should be
just around this corner.
186
00:07:50,605 --> 00:07:52,265
BELLA: (EXCLAIMS)
What is that?
187
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:54,209
I.Q.: It's a mucus barrier.
188
00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:55,875
No, it's snot.
189
00:07:55,944 --> 00:07:58,984
You're both right! Dastardly
must have a stuffy nose.
190
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,376
Ahoy, there, skipper.
191
00:08:00,448 --> 00:08:02,448
Antibodies off the stern,
and closing fast!
192
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,216
I called it. We're doomed.
193
00:08:04,285 --> 00:08:06,715
Not yet, we're not.
194
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:09,957
(CLAMORING)
195
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,393
We need to get
Dastardly to sneeze
196
00:08:11,459 --> 00:08:13,029
so we can get out
through his nose.
197
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,403
How do we do that?
198
00:08:14,462 --> 00:08:17,502
We need to get
to Dastardly's eye.
199
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:21,895
This is ridiculous. I'm fine.
200
00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:25,310
(YELPS) It's Pitstop!
She's standing right there.
201
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:28,842
He's getting worse.
202
00:08:28,910 --> 00:08:32,180
(EXCLAIMS) Now, Perfect
is standing beside her!
203
00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:33,576
Are you sure this will work?
204
00:08:33,648 --> 00:08:35,378
We're in his eye,
so he should see us.
205
00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:36,849
But, how do we communicate?
206
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:40,587
Here, this should do it.
207
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,224
(ARROW BUZZING)
208
00:08:42,290 --> 00:08:45,990
Perfect, you
hyperthyroid hallucination, tell them you're real!
209
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,459
(GROANS QUESTIONINGLY)
210
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,528
Now, there's letters
appearing over their heads.
211
00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:52,127
Of course there are.
I'll get him with this net.
212
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,029
You get ready to help me.
213
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,141
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
214
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:59,713
DASTARDLY: They say
they are inside of me?
215
00:08:59,774 --> 00:09:04,114
What? That's trespassing!
And disgusting.
216
00:09:04,178 --> 00:09:06,048
That's where they went!
What else did they say?
217
00:09:06,114 --> 00:09:09,384
They need to get out before
they return to normal size,
218
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:10,880
and cause me to explode.
219
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,321
What? Don't you dare, Pitstop!
220
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,057
Get out of me, immediately!
221
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,422
Well, why don't they
just drive out?
222
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:20,561
Well, apparently they can't
unless I... Sneeze?
223
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,328
PENELOPE: I do believe
they got our message.
224
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:23,896
Only 30 seconds left.
225
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:26,004
Let's get going.
226
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,126
What do I do?
227
00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:29,301
You have to sneeze, Dastardly!
228
00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:31,140
But I don't need to sneeze.
229
00:09:31,205 --> 00:09:33,065
What did he say
he was allergic to?
230
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,180
Dastardly, think of Christmas.
231
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,042
Uh, it's not working.
232
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,150
BOTH: Think of
laughing children!
233
00:09:39,213 --> 00:09:41,423
I've never seen a happy child!
234
00:09:41,482 --> 00:09:43,082
Ugh. Now I'm just nauseous.
235
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,420
BOTH: You have to sneeze!
236
00:09:45,486 --> 00:09:47,316
I.Q.: Ten seconds
to de-shrinkifying.
237
00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:49,818
-Intrusive intruders!
-Antibodies come.
238
00:09:49,891 --> 00:09:52,061
PETER: Come on,
Dastardly. Sneeze!
239
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,455
-Sneeze, Dastardly!
-I can't!
240
00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:56,828
-Just sneeze!
-I can't.
241
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,067
PENELOPE: Sneeze, Dastardly!
242
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:00,231
-(CLAMORING)
-Intrusive intruders!
243
00:10:00,301 --> 00:10:01,971
Seven seconds...
244
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,165
ALL: Sneeze!
245
00:10:03,237 --> 00:10:05,937
It's no use. I can't sneeze!
246
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,736
-(RETCHES)
-A cat?
247
00:10:07,809 --> 00:10:09,879
But, I'm allergic to...
To... To...
248
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,113
I.Q.: Three, two...
249
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:14,678
(SNEEZES)
250
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,178
(ALL SCREAMING)
251
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,350
(ALL GRUNTING)
252
00:10:18,419 --> 00:10:20,589
Hooray! They're back!
253
00:10:20,655 --> 00:10:22,055
-Arrr!
-(GROANING)
254
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,222
-Blah!
-(MOANING)
255
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,460
Hi, y'all.
256
00:10:24,525 --> 00:10:25,725
Well, then, race fans,
257
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:29,203
I guess we can call
this week's race a tie.
258
00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:31,433
What do you mean? I won.
259
00:10:31,499 --> 00:10:32,869
If the other racers
were inside you
260
00:10:32,934 --> 00:10:34,474
when you stepped
over the finish line, then...
261
00:10:34,535 --> 00:10:37,235
-We all crossed together.
-It's a tie!
262
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,574
Drat! Oh! Oh!
263
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:40,910
Why are you hitting yourself?
264
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,114
He does that now!
265
00:10:42,176 --> 00:10:46,706
-Where's Muttley?
-(GRUNTS)
266
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:50,250
(TIRES SCREECHING)
267
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:53,717
(YOWLS AND RETCHES)
268
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,487
(SNICKERING)
269
00:10:55,537 --> 00:11:00,087
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