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1
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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
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(SNICKERING)
3
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-(HOOVES THUNDERING)
-(NEIGHING)
4
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BRICK: Hear ye, hear ye,
races fans of the wacky.
5
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(HOOVES THUNDERING)
6
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We are in the
ye olde land of Camelot on the Feast of St. Whackus Du Racium.
7
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(NICKERING)
8
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This day's festivities shall
be commenced by the gracious word of Her Royal Highness.
9
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-(SNORING)
-BRICK: Queen Barnstorm the First!
10
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,094
Uh, Queen Barnstorm?
11
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:54,193
-Huh? Huh? What? What?
-Your Highness?
12
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,524
Yeah. Hi! Cool hat.
13
00:00:56,591 --> 00:01:01,161
Most glorious Queen,
'tis time-eth to get-eth the party started.
14
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,898
Oh? All right.
15
00:01:02,964 --> 00:01:07,744
Let the festivities
of the Feast of St. Whackus Du Racium commence!
16
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:08,871
(AUDIENCE CHEERS)
17
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,466
(HOOVES THUNDERING)
18
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:11,967
(NEIGHING)
19
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Hither come the noble
Knights of the Wacky Table.
20
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Sir Perfect of the Pete.
21
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Forsooth, fine folks of
countenance plain and uncouth.
22
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May thee abide well, and bask
bountifully in the glistening shine of my pearly whites.
23
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AUDIENCE: Ooh!
24
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,290
Lady Penelope of the Pink.
25
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A courtly howdy-do upon y'all,
good people of Camelot.
26
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ALL: Howdy!
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And Sir Richard of Rotten,
the Purple Knight of Dastardly.
28
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Whoa! Whoa, I say!
Whoa-eth, thou neglectful nag.
29
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-Argh! Drat-eth.
-(CRASHING)
30
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(SNICKERING)
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As always, the Purple Knight's
heart palpitates
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to be in your prodigiously
pleasing presence.
33
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ALL: Boo!
34
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Fie upon your
ignoble brows, peasants.
35
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ALL: Boo!
36
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These valiant knights
shall henceforth compete for the Queen's favor,
37
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and a coveted royal prize.
38
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Prize? No one told
me about a prize.
39
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:08,599
Oh... Uh... Oh!
40
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(FLIES BUZZING)
41
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Here.
The winner can have this.
42
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-The Queen's Cup!
-(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
43
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Verily, doth never have
mine eyes beheld such a glorious device
44
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for the storing and
dispensing of liquid.
45
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Its form and lordly
visage doth suit well its noble testament.
46
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I must have the
honor of supping from yon royal chalice.
47
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:31,445
It's just a cup.
48
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(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
49
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BRICK: Gadzooks!
50
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'Tis evil Countess
Morgana le Funk.
51
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And her most ignoble noble,
Sir Mordred of the Doggerel.
52
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,725
(SNICKERING)
53
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,426
ALL: Boo!
54
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,698
Every knave for himself!
55
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,297
(CHICKENS SQUAWKING)
56
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,468
How is it, sire,
57
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thou dost not invite-eth me
58
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to revel in
the festivities of the Feast of St. Whackus Du Racium?
59
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,512
Oh, come on, Morgana.
You ruin parties.
60
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You're a party ruiner!
61
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I am not-eth.
62
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Last time I brought snacks.
63
00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:05,119
Oh, it was
boiled calves' elbows and head cheese.
64
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:07,046
I don't even know
what head cheese is.
65
00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:11,991
And you turned the King
into a hedgehog on his birthday.
66
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:15,059
Yeah. Yeah, I did do that.
But 'tis an improvement.
67
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AUDIENCE: Boo! Hiss!
68
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Oh, boo-eth thyselves.
69
00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:22,397
Foul miscreant, I challenge
you to a duel for the honor of the royal hedgehog.
70
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:26,170
I also challenge you
to a dual-duel.
71
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,280
You want a piece
of this slapdown, Sir Rotten?
72
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,812
Nope. I'm good.
Have a nice duel.
73
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Have at thee, worrisome witch!
74
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Oh, please.
75
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:37,454
(BOTH YELLING)
76
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:42,018
Morgana has transmuted yon
brave knights into a unicorn and a griffin.
77
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:45,259
Which, as everyone knows,
are very common animals.
78
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(LAUGHS) That never-eth
gets old-eth.
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00:03:50,131 --> 00:03:51,971
-(GROANS)
-Rude!
80
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,242
So, you wanna play rough, huh?
81
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:56,442
Send for the royal alchemist!
82
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Send-eth for
the royal alchemist!
83
00:03:58,973 --> 00:04:01,043
Send-eth for
the royal alchemist!
84
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,978
AUDIENCE: Send-eth for
the royal alchemist!
85
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:07,184
I'm right-eth here!
86
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:10,318
(CHUCKLES) Oh, hey.
You're a little fella, ain't you?
87
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,654
Up to your old tricks again,
eh, Morgana?
88
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,520
Dost thou dare-est challenge
my magic with thy own?
89
00:04:15,590 --> 00:04:19,630
Nay. What I bear is
mightier than magic. Science!
90
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,503
AUDIENCE: Ooh...
91
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,431
Science? Oh, please.
92
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What are you going to do?
Tell me again that the Earth is round-eth.
93
00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:27,767
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
94
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,235
MAN: Ridiculous!
95
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Giveth me your best-eth shot.
96
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,775
Verily, I shall.
97
00:04:33,842 --> 00:04:38,842
Observeth. A little soda
of baketh, and a motley sprite of ye olde vinegar.
98
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:41,183
AUDIENCE: Oh...
99
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:43,648
(CLAPPING) Oh, ho, ho!
100
00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:48,518
Thou hast won this contest
with ye mettle most true.
101
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,358
AUDIENCE: Yay!
102
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:53,964
But this metal,
I shall relieve from you.
103
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:56,698
(SNICKERING)
104
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:59,904
What a shocking twist-eth
to our medieval tale.
105
00:04:59,968 --> 00:05:03,968
The dreaded Morgana
has escaped with the priceless Queen's Cup.
106
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:05,568
It's just a cup!
107
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My liege, we knights three
swear-eth upon our good honor,
108
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,179
to hie thither and recover
the Queen-eth's Cup!
109
00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:12,575
No matter-eth the danger.
110
00:05:12,647 --> 00:05:14,747
(STUTTERS) Well,
the danger matters a little.
111
00:05:14,816 --> 00:05:18,986
Seriously, it's just a cup.
I've got, like, nine more right here.
112
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In the name of the Queen,
113
00:05:20,889 --> 00:05:23,729
it is declared that
ye royal winner of this year's tournament,
114
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shall be-eth
the knight who regain-eth the Queen's Cup!
115
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:31,828
Like a, kind of, race thingy.
116
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ALL: Race?
117
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ALL: Hey, nonny,
nonny and away!
118
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(DASTARDLY EXCLAIMS)
119
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-PETER: Up ahead!
-DASTARDLY: Medieval meatheads!
120
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PENELOPE: No pushing!
121
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Isn't this most exciting,
my Queen?
122
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My Queen?
123
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,453
Oh, it's just a cup.
124
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(SNORING)
Just a cup, it's just a cup.
125
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Drat-eth!
126
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-(CAT YOWLS)
-(SNICKERING)
127
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PETER: Three ways doth
beckon us forward.
128
00:05:57,792 --> 00:06:00,432
-What do-eth we do?
-We'll have to split-eth up-eth.
129
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,464
First one back with
the Queen's Cup wins?
130
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,099
Which will be me.
131
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,604
Fare thee well on thy quest,
my friends.
132
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:08,566
And thee, good Sir Perfect.
133
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,095
(NEIGHING)
134
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:15,170
DASTARDLY: I hope thou both
fall-eth in a moat.
135
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:20,676
Which-eth way?
If only there was some sort of sign.
136
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:26,616
Oh, I detest-eth convenient
plot devices in heroic quests.
137
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:31,687
Sloppy writing, if you ask me.
Oh, well.
138
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:36,500
Ugh! What a
disgusting, horrible, awful, terrible place.
139
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,273
(SNICKERING)
140
00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:40,302
Why art thou following me?
141
00:06:40,368 --> 00:06:43,198
Dost thou think I need-eth
some simpering sycophant,
142
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,310
chortling at my
every misfortune?
143
00:06:45,373 --> 00:06:47,073
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
144
00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:50,081
I think-eth not, Mordred,
thou mongrel knave.
145
00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:51,554
(GASPS) Oh...
146
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:52,981
(GROWLING)
147
00:06:53,047 --> 00:06:55,477
Mordred, old buddy,
old pal-eth.
148
00:06:55,550 --> 00:06:58,420
'Tis good to know-eth
thou art ever at my side.
149
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,715
(WHIMPERING)
150
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:02,557
-Drat.
-(GROWLS)
151
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:06,332
(CLUCKING)
152
00:07:06,394 --> 00:07:09,064
-Hmm?
-Mordred, this is all your fault!
153
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,569
(SNICKERING)
154
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:14,371
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
155
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,795
Oh, a musical bridge.
How lovely.
156
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,270
Hi.
157
00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:20,939
Greetings, noble sir.
I am Sir Perfect of Pete.
158
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:23,638
Me am Tiny the Troll.
159
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,310
Seriously? (CLEARS THROAT)
160
00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:28,050
And I take it
thou art in the service of the dark lady, Morgana?
161
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,315
Yeps.
162
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:31,393
Then Sir Troll,
choose thou weapon.
163
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:34,822
I choose-eth
the Winks of Tiddly!
164
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:38,759
Okay. I was thinking more
of swords and lances or those spiky ball thingies,
165
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,755
but this is good.
166
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:41,897
Have at thee, Sir Troll.
167
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,872
Hmm...
168
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:48,902
Two out of three.
169
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,769
Go fish-eth.
170
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,712
King me!
171
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,407
(GROANS)
172
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,749
I get the feeling
I'm forgetting to do-eth something.
173
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,754
Oh, well-eth.
174
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,247
(DONKEY BRAYING)
175
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,149
♪ Oh, my darlin', oh, my darlin'
176
00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:10,521
♪ Oh, my darlin', Clementine ♪
177
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,560
(COUGHING)
178
00:08:12,627 --> 00:08:15,027
Good morrow to thee,
Lady of Pink.
179
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,455
-(COUGHING)
-Oh, howdy, y'all.
180
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,800
Thou near-est mine castle
and keep, Lady Pink.
181
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:22,936
But ye shall never win
past the guardian of the gates of Castle Morgana.
182
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,943
And who wouldst that be-eth?
183
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,265
Me! The dread vampire, Bella.
184
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:28,541
(LAUGHS OMINOUSLY)
185
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,679
Terrifying, aren't I?
(EXCLAIMS)
186
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,084
Oh, yeah. Very.
187
00:08:33,147 --> 00:08:36,617
I leave-eth thee
to thy gruesome fate.
188
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:39,124
In order to gain entry
to Castle Morgana,
189
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,256
thou must answer-eth
three questions.
190
00:08:41,323 --> 00:08:46,323
If thou cannot,
I, Bella, will cast-eth thee into yon Moat of Agony.
191
00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:49,595
Well, that doesn't sound
pleasant at all.
192
00:08:49,664 --> 00:08:51,504
The first question
will be a riddle.
193
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:54,435
What part-eth of the bird
be not in the sky,
194
00:08:54,502 --> 00:08:57,172
but goes everywhere
with him when he flies?
195
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,437
His shadow, silly.
196
00:08:59,507 --> 00:09:01,107
Ooh, good one.
Riddle number two.
197
00:09:01,176 --> 00:09:03,736
-It's a stumper.
-Oh, fiddly-sticks with thou riddles.
198
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,911
That's not how-eth
thou get to know a person.
199
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:09,950
How about thou tell me
how a nice vampire like thouself
200
00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:12,187
ended up working for Morgana?
201
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:15,262
Me? You want to know about me?
202
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:18,332
(SNIFFLES) I have been
standing here 1,000 years
203
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,862
and not once has anyone
ever asked me a question.
204
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:23,598
You are so nice.
205
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,233
Hmm. I know.
206
00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:27,599
(LAUGHS OMINOUSLY)
207
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:31,408
The Queen's Cup
shall be mine forever.
208
00:09:31,472 --> 00:09:35,142
Fie! That-eth be mine.
Prithee explain thyself, Sir Bat.
209
00:09:35,209 --> 00:09:36,839
Insooth, the bat's with me.
210
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:37,980
In truth?
211
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,445
I quit-eth.
212
00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:42,083
And thou owe-est me
1,000 years' overtime pay.
213
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,579
Nay. This be-eth
a non-union kingdom.
214
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:48,121
Oh, she is evil.
215
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,118
Oh, no, the Cup!
216
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,790
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
217
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:55,898
Uh-oh. She's angry.
218
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,402
And the quest is complete!
219
00:09:57,464 --> 00:10:01,434
BELLA: Time to go!
220
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:02,801
Oh, foo.
221
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:06,170
BRICK: Hear ye, hear ye,
all assembled peasants most putrid.
222
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,140
WOMAN: Hey!
223
00:10:08,209 --> 00:10:11,209
Know thee, the fair
Lady Penelope has return-eth with the Queen's Cup.
224
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,278
My Queen.
225
00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:14,606
Thou royal cup is recovered.
226
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,521
(ALL CHEERING)
227
00:10:16,584 --> 00:10:19,854
It's just a cup.
Why don't you get this?
228
00:10:19,921 --> 00:10:22,661
I literally have,
like, a million cups.
229
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:26,033
I'm a queen. I can afford
all the tableware I want.
230
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,363
-Ha! Psych.
-(AUDIENCE BOOS)
231
00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:29,898
Thou art right-eth,
I am a party ruiner.
232
00:10:29,964 --> 00:10:33,034
-(LAUGHS)
-Upon my honor, I shall recover the Queen's Cup.
233
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,440
No. I shall!
234
00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:36,142
Nay, thou
knightly noodleheads.
235
00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:38,073
I shall.
236
00:10:38,139 --> 00:10:41,979
-Race you.
-(LAUGHS) This is so much more fun than a day at the mall.
237
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,912
(SNICKERING)
238
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,177
DASTARDLY: Stand aside!
239
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,676
PENELOPE: I'm telling Mom!
240
00:10:47,726 --> 00:10:52,276
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