Original subtitles

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

BATMAN: Greetings, Batfans.

This is Batman.

And Robin the Boy Wonder.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The New Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our never-ending battle of good vs. evil.

ROBIN: Ride with us,

as we chase the greatest array of villains

the world has ever seen.

Proving that crime does not pay.

BATMAN: Get set for thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me, Robin the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: In the super New Adventures of...

BATMAN: Batman.

[♪♪♪]

[SIRENS WAILING]

ANNOUNCER: And now with the Nightly News,

here is Gotham City's number one anchorman...

Boyd Baxter.

Good evening.

The top story tonight

is the worsening oil shortage

being felt across the nation,

and here in our very own Gotham City.

As the thermometer continues to drop,

energy officials assure us

that a trainload, of much needed heating oil,

is headed our way and--

And it will never arrive.

[MEOWS]

All right, Clayface...

let's get to work.

We have a lot of oil to collect.

[MEOWS]

Clayface, it's working purr-fectly.

Couldn't be better.

And this is only the beginning.

Yes.

Soon every drop of oil--

[MEOWS]

--in the country will be ours.

We'll sell the stuff for a hundred dollars an ounce.

We'll be so rich.

We'll never have to lift a finger again.

Except to count our money.

[LAUGHING MEOW]

[CLAYFACE CACKLES]

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[TIRES SCREECH]

BRUCE: Eat your heart out, Dickie-boy.

There's no way that jalopy

of yours can beat mine.

Don't count your chickens yet, Bruce.

Hi, Caped Cru--

Bat-Mite, look out.

Yipes!

[♪♪♪]

ROBIN: I can't stop it.

Looks like Bat-Mite won by the seat of his pants, Dick.

[DICK CHUCKLES]

[BEEPING]

Bruce, the Bat-Signal.

Let's go.

Nobody loves a winner.

Hey, wait for me, guys.

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Hi, guys. What's the caper?

That's what we're going to find out, Bat-Mite.

Oh, boy, I hope it's a good one.

I'm really in the mood

for some "rock 'em, sock 'em" action.

I assure you, Mr. Baxter, that the police department

will be working around the clock to stop these oil hijackings.

BAXTER: My viewers are demanding action, commissioner.

Now what are you going to do about this?

I've called Batman and Robin into the case.

I'll keep you posted, Mr. Baxter.

This oil-disappearing act is driving me nuts, Barbara.

I know someone who can unravel this mystery, Dad.

Of course, Batman and Robin.

They're on their way.

Actually, I was thinking of Batgirl.

[LAUGHS]

No, this is far too big for her.

Oh, come on, Dad.

Batgirl can do anything Batman can.

You know, dear, the way you stick up for Batgirl,

you'd think she was your twin sister.

[DOOR OPENS]

BATMAN: What's up, commissioner?

A trainload of crude oil, headed for Gotham City,

has disappeared, Batman.

Disappeared?

You mean stolen.

Yes. Vanished into thin air without a trace.

Well, you wanna know what I think--

This could be a big problem, with this cold snap

getting worse by the minute, commissioner.

I think--

You're telling me.

And that TV newscaster, Boyd Baxter,

hasn't let me forget it for a second.

Know what I think--?

Sounds to me like they're going

to rip-off a lot more oil before they're through,

and then make a ransom demand.

Well, I think--

Barbara's right, commissioner.

How many oil storage depots are there in town?

There are two, Robin.

The biggest one is down near the waterfront

and the other is on the south side.

Robin, you head for the south side.

I'll cover the waterfront.

I've got some things to take care of too, Dad.

BARBARA: As Batgirl.

Well, if you wanna know what I think--

Hey, wait for me, Caped Crusaders.

[♪♪♪]

[DOGS BARKING]

Holy barking bow-wows.

Dogs or no dogs, I have to check that tank out fast.

The wire walk.

Leaping lumbago.

There must be an easier way to make a living.

Well, here goes nothing.

[BARKING]

Feet, don't fail me now.

[BARKING]

[BARKING]

Holy no deposit, no return.

It's empty.

I'd better get Batman fast.

[♪♪♪]

So here you are, Boy Wonder.

I've been looking high and low for--

Get outta the way, Bat-Mite.

Yipes!

Robin.

The Bat-tramp should do the trick.

W-wow.

It's Batgirl.

Batgirl.

How did you know where to find me?

There's no time to tell you now, Robin.

[SIGHS]

Batman may need our help down at the waterfront.

That's right.

Come on.

Well, if you wanna know what I think--

Hey, wait for me, guys.

Okay, okay.

Nobody's perfect.

[♪♪♪]

There's the oil storage tank.

And there's Catwoman and Clayface.

All right, you two...

Cardboard.

So they are, Bat-bungler,

but I'm for real.

[GRUNTS]

Careful, Clayface.

Not too tight.

I want Batman to see

how cleverly we drain Gotham City dry.

[MEOWS, GIGGLES]

[CACKLES]

Now, you're coming with us, Batman.

Thanks anyway, Catwoman...

but this is where I...

get off.

Hey, you.

Batman, are you okay?

Yes, but I'll feel a lot better

when we've nabbed Catwoman and Clayface.

They're up there.

Not any more. Look.

ROBIN: Holy endangered species.

Clayface turned himself into an eagle.

So long, Batman.

We'll be seeing you again.

Let's go.

Oh, boy.

Those sappy villains don't stand a...

chance!

Wow. I've never seen wheels move

as fast as Catwoman's kitty-car.

Hold on to your socks, Robin.

You haven't seen anything yet.

If there's anything I can't stand--

[MEOWS]

--it's tailgating.

Especially when it's my tail.

[MEOWS]

Holy litterbugs, Batman.

Look out.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Uh-oh, I'd better take an off-ramp fast.

BAT-MITE: I don't feel good.

Oh-oh-oh, oh, boy.

[BAT-MITE WHIMPERS]

Congratulations, Catwoman.

You sure gave those crime-fighting creeps the slip.

[MEOWS]

Batgirl to Dynamic Duo.

You're not going to like this.

BATGIRL: Catwoman and Clayface got away.

Terrific.

Holy bad news.

Here's something else I don't think we're gonna like.

ROBIN: Boyd Baxter's newscast.

Well, yet another daring robbery

has drained Gotham City's fuel tanks

and left our shivering city without a drop of oil.

[CHUCKLES]

And while the guilty culprits roam our streets,

where is that so-called crime fighter, Batman?

What's the matter, Batman?

Or should I say, ha-ha-ha,

Chicken Man.

Holy loudmouth.

If he thinks it's so easy, why doesn't he try catching 'em?

Since we've heard nothing from the great Batman on this case,

I've decided to solve it myself.

Hey, I was only kidding.

Your action reporter, Boyd Baxter,

will get results.

You stay tuned for further details.

As Bat-Mite would say,

"Ohhh, boy,

I think we've got big troubles."

[♪♪♪]

[BEEPING]

Yes, commissioner?

COMMISSIONER: Batman, I need your help.

There's a giant supertanker full of oil

due to arrive at the Gotham City docks tonight.

This shipment has been kept secret

because of the oil hijackings.

We aren't taking any chances this time.

I want you two to escort the tanker into the harbor

and keep an eye on things.

BATMAN: Don't worry, commissioner, we'll be there.

And so will we, Batman.

So will we.

[MEOWS]

Systems check, Robin?

All systems optimum.

Hey, Dynamic Duo,

wait for dynamic me.

If you guys don't watch out,

I'm gonna start hanging out with Batgirl full-time.

Starting right now.

There's nothing we can do now

but sit tight and wait.

Sorry to run out on you, Dad,

but I have some work to take care of.

And I can only do it as Batgirl.

[SMOOCH]

Hi, Batgirl. What's up?

I'm going to try and find out where Clayface and Catwoman

are hiding all the oil they steal.

That's no problem.

With my super-sniffer--

[SNIFFS]

--I can find it in a second.

No, no. That's all right, Bat-Mite, I--

[SNIFFING]

Bat-Mite, really, I can--

Just follow my nose, Batgirl,

and I guarantee we'll find oil.

Well, all right, Bat-Mite, just this once.

[♪♪♪]

[SNIFFING]

Where's this oil you've been talking about, Bat-Mite?

We've been driving for hours.

You're telling me.

I'm starting to cramp up.

Hold it.

I think we're getting close.

That way, Batgirl.

BATGIRL: You've got to be kidding.

There's oil up there. I can smell it.

[SIGHS] Oh, all right.

Here goes nothing.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, my gosh.

Hoo-hoo, oh, boy! Oh, boy!

I thought it might need a little more...red.

ROBIN: With these energy shields, captain,

we're ready for anything

Clayface and Catwoman can throw at us.

BATMAN: Yes, but are we ready for this?

Holy boob tube.

It can't be.

I'm afraid so, Robin.

BATMAN: Boyd Baxter in the flesh.

Oh, boy, that's all we need.

Oh, boy?

Well, I think it's a catchy little phrase.

BAXTER: Ah, good evening, Dynamic Duo.

How did you know about this tanker, Baxter?

Well, a good investigative reporter has his sources.

And what I said earlier still goes, Batman.

I'm going to break this case wide-open

and expose the both of you, for what you are...

frauds.

BAT-MITE: Still mad at me, Batgirl?

Well, there was oil there.

Oil paint, Bat-Mite.

Not oil.

Nobody's perfect.

I smell oil, Batgirl.

A lot of oil.

That way.

Forget it, Bat-Mite.

No more wild oil chases.

BAT-MITE: There, in that condemned building.

BATGIRL: You were right, Bat-Mite.

There is oil in that building.

A whole trainload of it.

Don't I deserve some kind of reward, Batgirl?

Oh, sure.

Thanks, Bat-Mite.

Oh, boy, what a bummer.

Stand by, Catwoman.

Okay, we're in position.

Excellent, Clayface.

[MEOWS]

Those caped creeps above

will never know what happened.

Say, uh, captain,

aren't you nervous about being in charge

of this valuable cargo?

Not with Batman and Robin onboard, Mr. Baxter.

I wouldn't be too sure.

They haven't done anything right yet.

But don't worry. If anything happens I'll be here,

and I'll be on top of it.

Holy helium.

If we could bottle all that hot air,

Gotham City's energy problem would be licked.

Never mind, Robin.

I'm getting a funny feeling about this whole setup.

Come on.

I was afraid of this.

Quick, Robin, check the cargo hold.

ROBIN: Holy heists.

The oil's gone.

Mission accomplished, Clayface.

[MEOWS]

Then let's go home so we can count our money.

There go Batman and Robin.

Quick, into the chopper.

I have them on sonar, Batman.

BATMAN: Nice work.

Prepare to fire magnetic underwater grapple.

ROBIN: Ready. Fire.

They snagged us, Catwoman.

I need some help here.

Sorry, Clayface--

[MEOWS]

--but now it's every woman for herself.

CLAYFACE: No. Wait.

BAXTER: Catwoman's plane.

What a great scoop.

All right, let's nab her.

BATMAN [OVER RADIO]: Keep your eyes peeled for the Cat-plane.

It's headed your way.

Roger, Batman.

It should be approaching the waterfront any second now.

Batgirl, look.

There she is now.

BAXTER: Come on, can't this heap go any faster?

Catwoman's getting away.

Sorry, Mr. Baxter, it's wide-open now.

B-b-b-be c-careful, B-B-B-Batgirl.

All right, Dynamic Duo.

Get ready for one whale of a surprise.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Holy harpoons.

ROBIN: Here comes Clayface.

Here he comes again.

ROBIN: Bull's-eye.

You got him.

Sorry, Clayface,

end of the line.

As one woman to another--

[MEOWS]

--I admire your courage, Batgirl.

But I think it's time I showed you

how catty I can really be.

Holy air sickness.

Batgirl's in big trouble.

Enjoying the ride, Batgirl?

[LAUGHING MEOW]

Okay, Catwoman. Cut it out.

Reow! Don't touch that switch.

Huh?

Hey, don't go running off.

I can't fly this thing.

BAT-MITE: Oh, oh, my, oh, gosh, gosh.

Oh, boy, I blew it again.

They ought to call me Bat-Klutz.

No, Bat-Mite, you were very brave.

Batgirl.

Batgirl, you're terrific.

And so are you, Bat-Mite.

[SMOOCH]

BAT-MITE: There's just one problem: Catwoman escaped.

No, she didn't.

She's hung up in that tree down there.

BAXTER: All right, roll the cameras, roll the cameras.

How about a big smile, Catwoman?

That's good.

Oh.

[MEOWS]

What a complete cat-tastrophe.

[MEOWS]

BAXTER: This is Boyd Baxter, here in front of WGC-TV,

where I am talking to Batman, Robin and Batgirl.

Don't forget Bat-Mite.

Oh, yes, and uh, this little guy here, Bat-Mite.

Well, guys, you finally managed to capture the oil thieves,

and it's about time.

However, the whereabouts of an entire boatload of oil--

[SNIFFING]

--is still missing.

And I assure you...

that this investigative reporter--

[SNIFFING]

--will waste no time

in finding it.

Holy drips.

Now that's what I call fast reporting.

[ALL LAUGHING]

BATCOMPUTER: Bat message.

Clayface and Catwoman made quite a team, Batman.

But a team that didn't know the score, Robin.

Crime never pays.

Well, how do I look, guys?

BOTH: Is that really you, Bat-Mite?

In the flesh.

I've got a heavy date with Batgirl.

She's gonna wonder where I've been all her life.

And wherever you've been, she'll probably be thankful.

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]