All language subtitles for The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns [1999] Part Two.english

(all yelling)

WHERE'S MICKEY?

MISSING THE FUN.

COME ON, YOU BRIGANDS!

COME ON, WHERE ARE YOU?

THANK YOU, JERICHO.

DON'T MENTION IT, SIR.

WHERE'S BARNEY?

IT WAS A DREAM.

YES, LITERALLY.

WHAT ABOUT OUR WORK?

WHAT ABOUT THE NATURAL WORKS?

IF MEN ARE FIGHTING

THERE'LL BE NO ONE LEFT
TO LOOK AFTER NATURE.

NATURE CAN LOOK AFTER ITSELF.

WE CAN'T TAKE CARE OF NATURE.

NATURE CAN TAKE CARE OF ITSELF,
YOU HEAR?

WE'VE A WAR TO WAGE!

THERE'S STORMS, FLOODS

SNOW IN SUMMER.

THE LEAVES WILL WITHER

AND DIE.

(trumpet blowing)

(trumpet blowing)

(crow cawing)

SO... DID YOU SEE ME

BEFORE YOU DECIDED
NOT TO GET THE TRAIN

OR DID YOU NOT

GET THE TRAIN
BECAUSE YOU SAW ME?

I THINK
I CATCH YOUR DRIFT.

I HAD DECIDED

TO STAY ANYWAY.

AND WHAT ABOUT YOU,
MISS KATHLEEN?

WERE YOU GOING
TO COME WITH ME

OR WERE YOU
JUST COMING TO SEE

IF I WAS GOING?

I HAD MY BAG, DIDN'T I?

I'VE ASKED YOU

TO WARN ME!

SORRY ABOUT
THAT, JACK.

AH, THE
LOVELY KATHLEEN.

SEAMUS.

SO THE SPITTING FISH
WAS YOUR IDEA, WAS IT?

WELL, NOT
DIRECTLY, NO.

BUT INDIRECTLY, YES.

ALL THIS CRAZY WEATHER...

WAS THAT YOU DIRECTLY
OR INDIRECTLY?

THERE'S A BIT OF A
DISAGREEMENT GOING ON

BETWEEN OURSELVES AND
THE TROOPING FAIRIES.

IF YOU WANTED TO

YOU COULD DESCRIBE IT
AS A, UH...

WELL, MARY,
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE IT?

A FULL-OUT WAR.

A FULL-OUT WAR.

MMM. YES. WELL, THAT
WILL JUST ABOUT DO IT.

A WAR?

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

OH, THE USUAL.

EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY.

NOTHING
AND NOBODY.

SO, CAN I ASK YOU

A QUESTION, JACK?

I GUESS.

HAVE YOU EVER DONE
ANY FIGHTING?

BEING IN THE ARMY

AS IT WERE.

I, UH... I DID
SOME BASIC TRAINING

IN THE MILITARY

BUT, UH... NEVER
SAW ANY ACTION.

BASIC TRAINING!

DO YOU HEAR THAT, MARY?

JACK'S DONE BASIC TRAINING.

I HEARD.

SEAMUS, I'M NOT GOING
TO FIGHT IN YOUR WAR

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE AFTER.

I KNOW THAT.

THE FAIRIES WOULDN'T
LET YOU ANYWAY.

THEY'D DISAPPEAR AS SOON

AS THEY'D
LOOK AT YOU.

NO, NO.
BUT, YOU SEE

WE LEPRECHAUNS ARE FREE SPIRITS.

THINKERS
AND DRINKERS.

WE'RE NOT BUILT

FOR MARCHING IN STRAIGHT LINES

AND COMPLICATED BATTLE PLANS.

THEY NEED TO BE
TOLD WHAT TO DO.

AND YOU'VE DONE
BASIC TRAINING.

AND THEY'RE ABOUT

AS BASIC AS IT GETS.

WE'D GIVE YOU
THE POWER

TO SEE THEM ALL.

AND YOU WOULDN'T
LEAVE EMPTY-HANDED.

WE STILL HAVE A FEW
POTS OF GOLD LEFT.

I THOUGHT THOSE POTS OF GOLD
WERE JUST FAIRY STORIES.

THEY ARE, BUT

IN CASE YOU HADN'T
NOTICED, WE ARE FAIRIES.

YES, WE STILL HAVE
A FEW POTS PUT AWAY

FOR HARD TIMES.

WHAT DO YOU
SAY, JACK?

IT'S A NOBLE CAUSE.

WHICHEVER SIDE
YOU'RE ON IN A WAR

IS ALWAYS THE NOBLE ONE.

YEAH, AND TRULY, IT'S
NOT ABOUT TAKING SIDES.

IT'S ABOUT GETTING PEACE.

GETTING THINGS
BACK TO NORMAL.

RIGHT.

RIGHT, SO THE QUICKER
WE WIN, THE BETTER.

OH, I MISS
HIM SO, MAGGIE.

I MISS MY FIRST HUSBAND,
RODERICK GOODRICH III.

A TRUE GENTLEMAN.

WHEN HE STEPPED
OUT OF HIS BATH

HE ALWAYS RANG
A SMALL BELL

SO I WOULDN'T BE ALARMED.

IN MY DAY, YOU HAD
TO HAVE IMPECCABLE MANNERS.

YOU JUST COULDN'T MAKE IT
IN POLITE SOCIETY

UNLESS YOU HAD
IMPECCABLE MANNERS.

MICKEY'S LIKE THAT.

NEVER.

HE'S A LEPRECHAUN.

TOTALLY DIFFERENT CASE.

A LEPRECHAUN WOULDN'T
RECOGNIZE A GENTLEMAN

IF HE WAS ROBBING HIM.

(loud thuds)

Lady Margaret:
MY SECOND HUSBAND

SAMUEL BALMORAL--
HE WAS EVEN MORE REFINED.

HE'D KNOCK ON
AN OYSTER SHELL

BEFORE HE OPENED IT.

MY THIRD HUSBAND

WAS A LITTLE DELICATE.

HE WAS THE ONLY MAN
I EVER KNEW WHO WAS

ALLERGIC TO MATHEMATICS.

YOU ONLY HAD TO ASK HIM
TO ADD TWO AND TWO

AND HE'D RETIRE TO BED
WITH A NOSEBLEED.

TRUTH BE TOLD,
HE WAS A BIT OF A LOSER.

AHA...

THERE'S THINGS BETTER THAN LOVE
AND WORSE THAN LOVE

BUT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND
ANYTHING THAT'S JUST LIKE LOVE.

IT MAKES A MAN THINK
ALMOST AS MUCH OF A WOMAN

AS HE DOES OF HIMSELF.

YEAH...

YOU'RE RIGHT.

SO, WHERE ARE WE GOING?

TO THE SWAMPLAND

TO SEE THE BUTTER SPIRIT,
SIR ALOYSIUS JENTEE.

HE'S A FRIEND OF MY FATHER'S

AND THE SWAMP
IS NEUTRAL TERRITORY

SO THEY CAN'T TOUCH US THERE.

(crickets chirping)

Mickey:
I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.

Jessica:
NOR ME.

WE SHOULD GO THE REST
OF THE WAY ON FOOT.

YEAH.

THIS WAY.

WHY ARE THEY CALLED
"BUTTER SPIRITS"?

BECAUSE ALL THEY
CARE ABOUT IS BUTTER.

NOTHING ELSE
MATTERS TO THEM.

(wings flapping)

(loud screeching)

(gasps)

MICKEY...

BEASTLY STUFF.

THIS IS THE MOST HIGH
BUTTER SPIRIT.

THE ONE AND ONLY!

SIR ALOYSIUS JENTEE
AT YOUR SERVICE.

I'M DELIGHTED TO
MEET YOU, MR. JENTEE.

MICKEY SAYS THAT
YOU'RE AN OLD FRIEND.

I'VE KNOWN HIM
SINCE HE WAS LITERALLY

KNEE-HIGH TO A GRASSHOPPER.

NOW, YOU MUST BE
PRINCESS JESSICA.

CAN YOU DO ANYTHING
FOR US, UNCLE ALOYSIUS?

BUST MY GAITERS...

LADDIE, I CAN
OFFER YOU SANCTUARY!

COME HERE.

THIS WAY.

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
ANY BUTTER ABOUT, WOULD YOU?

IRISH? DANISH? ENGLISH?

WE'RE NOT PARTICULAR.

SPREAD THICK.

(laughing):
GAD, WHAT DELIGHT!

WHAT DECADENCE!

NO. SORRY.

AH, NO MATTER.

WE'VE ADAPTED.

NOW, THIS IS
OUR DOMAIN.

THIS IS LITTLE ENGLAND.

NOW...

WE'LL GET YOU SETTLED.

THEN YOU MUST JOIN ME
FOR TIFFIN.

WHAT'S TIFFIN?

TEA AND CUCUMBER SANDWICHES.

NO BUTTER, I'M AFRAID.

WE'VE GOT MUD...

PLENTY OF MUD.

HE SPIRITED HER AWAY,
YOUR MAJESTY.

IT'S THE DEVIL'S WORK!

ARE YOU SURE YOU WERE WATCHING,
LADY MARGARET?

MY EYES WERE OPEN
24 HOURS OF THE DAY.

I NEVER SLEPT.

I HARDLY ATE.

AND WHEN I DID,
I DIDN'T LOOK AT MY FOOD.

(sobbing)

THERE, THERE. I'M SURE MULDOON

WON'T HARM HER.

HE NEEDS HER
AS A HOSTAGE.

I JUST HAD WORD
THAT MICKEY MULDOON

HAS TAKEN PRINCESS JESSICA

TO THE BUTTER SPIRITS
IN THE SWAMP!

WE CAN RESCUE HER.

DON'T PUNISH HER.
IT'S IN HAND.

EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL

BEING ORGANIZED LIKE CLOCKWORK.

NOTHING, NOTHING
LEFT TO CHANCE. HA-HA!

(groans)

EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL...

IS IT?

Father Daley:
GOD IS IN HIS HEAVEN...

(thunder crashing)

AND ALL IS WELL
WITH THE WORLD...

BUT IS IT?

NOW YOU MAY ASK ME WHY.

WHY IS IT

THAT ALL THESE THINGS
ARE HAPPENING?

WHY IS IT THAT THE ALMIGHTY GOD
HAS DESERTED US

BUT SHOWN US THE ROCKY PATH

TO ETERNAL DAMNATION?

YOU MAY ASK ME

WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP

THESE DISASTERS
GETTING WORSE AND WORSE

SO THAT OUR SINS CAN CATCH US UP

AND THEN WE ARE PULLED DOWN
INTO THE FIERY PIT!

(voice rising):
I REPLY TO YOU...

(calmly):
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.

(congregation murmuring)

ANY OPINIONS OUT THERE?

IT'S THE LITTLE PEOPLE.

THE FAIRIES AND LEPRECHAUNS

HAVE STOPPED LOOKING
AFTER NATURE.

ANYBODY WITH ANY
SENSIBLE OPINIONS?

COULD IT BE THE STATE
OF THE ECONOMY, FATHER?

OR-OR MAYBE THE RAILWAYS,
SINCE THEY CHANGED THE...

OH, SIT DOWN
AND SHUT UP, MAN!

AH, YOU MADE IT.

THIS WEATHER

IS UNBELIEVABLE.

ARE YOU OKAY?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

YOU'RE NOT ON VACATION, ARE YOU?

YOU'RE HERE TO BUY UP

ALL THESE HOUSES
SO YOU CAN TURN THIS PLACE

INTO ANOTHER DISNEYLAND...

AREN'T YOU?

IT WASN'T GOING TO BE
ANOTHER DISNEYLAND.

(sighs)

KATHLEEN...

I TRIED TO TELL YOU.

I CAME HERE FOR WORK.

THEY SENT ME HERE

TO BUY UP SOME VACATION
HOMES FOR AMERICANS.

YOU KNOW, GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE
TO LIVE OUT THEIR DREAMS.

I WANTED TO TELL YOU
SO MANY TIMES.

SO WHY DIDN'T YOU?

WELL, IT DOESN'T REALLY
MATTER NOW

BECAUSE IT'S NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN.

BUT YOU WERE TRYING
TO TAKE OUR HOMES.

NO, NO, I WASN'T; I'VE JUST
BEEN DOWN TO THE POST OFFICE

JUST NOW,
CALLING NEW YORK

TELLING THEM THAT THIS
PLACE IS NOT SUITABLE FOR THEM.

ALL RIGHT. WHICH, UM...

PARTICULAR LIE
DO YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE, THEN?

I'M NOT LYING.

KATHLEEN, I LOVE YOU.

OH, RIGHT. THAT LIE.

(door opening and closing)

(frogs croaking)

Aloysius:
YES, INDEED

DEAR FRIENDS.

PRINCESS JESSICA

AND MICKEY MULDOON
ARE HERE

UNDER MY
PROTECTION.

WELL, WE WANT THEM.

YOUR TERM, SIR, IS OFFENSIVE.

YOU CAN'T HAVE 'EM!

WE CAME UNDER A WHITE FLAG
OF PEACE.

SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU.

I'M COLOR-BLIND.

WE DIDN'T SAY GOOD-BYE
TO ALOYSIUS.

I DON'T TRUST HIM.

WE'RE BETTER OFF
FAR AWAY.

CAN I SPEAK PLAINLY?

I'D PREFER IT DEVIOUS,
BUT BE PLAIN IF YOU MUST.

I'D LIKE TO BRIBE YOU.

BRIBE?!

NEVER, SIR.

THE IDEA IS OFFENSIVE
TO MY EARS.

WE ARE ENGLISH TO THE BONE!

WHERE GIVEN WORD
KEPT AN ENGLISHMAN'S WORD!

ENOUGH SAID.

BESIDES, WHAT COULD YOU
POSSIBLY BRIBE US WITH?

BUTTER.

AH, BUTTER,
OF COURSE, YES.

(gasping)

(wings flapping)

WELL, WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

THE VERDICT?

ABOUT JOINING OUR CAUSE.

WELL, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
SEAMUS

I HAVEN'T GIVEN IT MUCH THOUGHT.

(scoffing)

HERE WE ARE, ENGAGED IN A WAR

THAT COULD DETERMINE
THE FUTURE

OF CIVILIZATION
AS WE KNOW IT

AND YOU HAVEN'T
THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

I HAD A FIGHT WITH KATHLEEN.

IS THAT ALL?

WOMEN TROUBLE?

I HAVE THAT 24 HOURS A DAY.

WAS IT WHEN SHE FOUND OUT
YOU WERE GOING

TO BUY UP THE COTTAGES?

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

WE'RE LEPRECHAUNS.

WE KNOW
WHEN THERE'S MISCHIEF AFOOT.

I LOOKED INTO YOUR HEART

AND THEN I LOOKED INTO

YOUR DRAWER INSIDE.

(chuckles)

SAY, SEAMUS...

COULD YOU TALK
TO KATHLEEN?

OH, UH, YES, MAYBE.

MAYBE I COULD, MAYBE I COULD.

OF COURSE, IT WOULD BE IN RETURN

FOR A SMALL FAVOR
YOU MIGHT DO ME.

LIKE IF I HELP YOU OUT?

YOU SCRATCH MY BACK,
I'LL SCRATCH YOURS, HUH?

THAT'S HOW
THE WORLD TURNS, JACK.

ANYWAY, IT WILL TAKE

YOUR MIND
OFF YOUR TROUBLES.

OKAY, I'LL DO IT

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO SQUARE THINGS
WITH KATHLEEN.

OH, SHE'S AS GOOD
AS BACK IN YOUR ARMS.

(chuckling heartily)

ALL RIGHT.

(whistling)

HEY, I WANT YOU
TO TURN THIS HAIRY RABBLE

INTO A FIGHTING MACHINE.

WHAT?

I'M SURE YOU'LL DO FINE.

YOU'LL DO FINE.

ANYWAY, YOU'VE
ALL DAY TO DO IT.

BY MYSELF?

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

JUST LET
ME EXPLAIN.

YOU PROMISED.

WHAT DID YOU DO

TO OUR SISTER?

SHE'S BEEN CRYING

HER EYES OUT ALL NIGHT.

HOLD STILL
SO WE CAN KICK YOU.

LISTEN, I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO TALK TO HER.

HOLD HIS ARMS, GEORGE.

I'LL HIT HIM.

NO, YOU HOLD HIS ARMS;
I'LL HIT HIM.

YOU HIT THE FELLA
THE LAST TIME.

I HELD HIS ARMS

THE LAST ONE.

ARE YOU SURE
ABOUT THAT?

YES.
LOOK, IT'S MY TURN.

I NEVER GET TO HIT ANYONE.

YOU'RE TOO YOUNG,
LITTLE HARRY.

YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN

HOW TO CLENCH
YOUR FISTS FIRST.

CAN I MAKE A...?

THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU CAN'T EXPECT

TO GO STRAIGHT
TO THE HITTING.

LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

WHY DON'T WE DISCUSS THIS

OVER A DRINK, LIKE
UH... GENTLEMEN?

AND IF YOU STILL
WANT TO GET PHYSICAL

WELL, I'LL...
I'LL OBLIGE YOU.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

COME ON.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHY NOT?

Jack:
THE BEER'S IN THE...

WELL, I SEE YOU FOUND IT.

WELL, THAT'S OKAY.

I WASN'T THIRSTY ANYWAY.

DO YOU HAVE ANY CHIPS AT ALL?

OR MAYBE, YOU KNOW

SOME LITTLE NIBBLES?

NO. NO, I... I DON'T.

UM, KATHLEEN, IS SHE OKAY?

I REALLY WANT TO TALK TO HER.

SHE SAYS YOU WANTED TO TURN
OUR FARM INTO A CASINO.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

YOU CALLING OUR SISTER
A LIAR?

OF COURSE NOT.

I SUPPOSE YOU WOULD
HAVE PAID A FAIR BIT

FOR THE, UH, THE
PROPERTIES, YOU KNOW.

THAT DOESN'T
REALLY MATTER NOW.

I'M NOT GOING THROUGH WITH IT,
NOT ONCE I GOT

TO KNOW THIS PLACE.

George:
RIGHT. SURE. UH...

THE MONEY WOULD HAVE BEEN
GOOD THOUGH, YEAH?

Seamus:
IF IT'S MONEY YOU'RE AFTER

HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT GETTING SOME GOLD?

SOME GOLD?
WELL, THAT...

WHO SAID THAT?

WANT TO GO THROUGH
WITH THIS, SEAMUS?

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

YOU NEED HELP, DON'T YOU?
ASK THEM IF THEY'VE

DONE ANY SOLDIERING.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

SAY, UM...

YOU BOYS KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT DRILLING,
ARMY-TYPE DRILLING?

WELL, YOU KNOW, ME AND THE LADS
WERE IN THE SCHOOL CADET CORPS.

YEAH. WE LIKE TO SHOUT.

GIVING ORDERS.

STOMPING.

REALLY?

George:
YEAH.

WELL, MAYBE YOU'D BE INTERESTED

IN HELPING OUT
OUR LEPRECHAUN FRIENDS.

COMMANDER MULDOON

FRONT AND CENTER.

HOLY...

MARY.

MOTHER OF GOD.

COMMANDER MULDOON

MEET THE FITZPATRICK BROTHERS.

GOTCHA!

(laughing)

NOW THEN,
LITTLE LEPRECHAUN

WHY DON'T YOU TELL
UNCLE GEORGE

WHERE YOU'VE HIDDEN
YOUR POTS OF GOLD.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, JACK.

THAT'S WHAT THESE

FLAT-FOOTED, IGNORANT
PEASANTS DO

WHEN THEY CATCH A POOR,
DEFECTIVE LEPRECHAUN.

WE ARE RICH.

WHERE'D HE GO?

WHERE'D HE GO?

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
BE ABLE TO BEHAVE

LIKE GENTLEMEN,
FITZPATRICKS

SO WE CAN DO SOMETHING
ABOUT ALL THESE DISASTERS

YOU FARMERS HAVE BEEN HAVING
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

Seamus: AND MAYBE GET
YOUR HANDS ON SOME GOLD

FOR YOUR TROUBLES,
AFTER WE WIN.

SOUNDS LIKE
A PRETTY FAIR DEAL

TO ME, LADS, YOU KNOW?

YEAH.

OH, UH...

COMMANDER, UM...

YOU KNOW,
SORRY ABOUT THE, THE GRABBING

AND THE THROTTLING
AND EVERYTHING.

YOU'LL, YOU'LL BE WANTING
YOUR LITTLE GREEN COAT BACK.

THERE, THERE YOU GO.

THAT'S
A LOVELY TWEED.

NOW, CAN YOU DRILL

SOME DISCIPLINE

INTO THIS FINE ARMY

OF LAYABOUTS?

WHAT ARMY OF LAYABOUTS?

ALL RIGHT, LEPRECHAUNS,
WE'RE GOING

TO START A LITTLE BIT
OF BASIC TRAINING.

AT THE END
OF THE TRAINING

YOU'RE ALL
GOING TO BECOME

LITTLE GREEN BERRIES.

NOW...
I AM GENERAL GEORGE.

NOW, WE'RE GOING TO START
LIKE THIS.

ATTENTION!

THAT MEANS YOU
HAVE TO STAND UP STRAIGHT

WITH YOUR CHESTS OUT
AND YOUR SHOULDERS BACK.

VERY GOOD.

NOW, PRESENT ARMS!

NO, DON'T WAVE AT ME.

THAT MEANS YOU HAVE
TO PRESENT YOUR WEAPONS.

HOLD YOUR WEAPONS LIKE THIS.

THE STICKS. THE STICKS.

VERY GOOD.

YOU ESPECIALLY, VERY GOOD.

NOW, WE'RE GOING TO TRY
A LITTLE BIT OF MARCHING.

LEPRECHAUNS...

RIGHT HUT!

I SAID RIGHT, RIGHT.

TO YOUR RIGHT.

TO THE RIGHT, QUICK.

A-MARCH! LEFT, RIGHT.

LEFT, RIGHT. LEFT, RIGHT.
LEFT, RIGHT. LEFT, RIGHT.

ABOUT FACE!

LEFT.

THAT MEANS TURN AROUND.

TURN AROUND THE OTHER...
THE OTHER WAY.

COME BACK,
THIS WAY.

LEFT, RIGHT. LEFT, RIGHT.
LEFT, RIGHT.

LEFT, RIGHT.
LEFT, RIGHT.

AND HALT!

I SAID HALT!

STOP,
STOP, STOP!

KATHLEEN,
I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.

I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO EXPLAIN TO YOU.

LOOK, I WANT NOTHING MORE
TO DO WITH YOU, JACK.

YOU LIED TO ME.

OKAY? BUT I NEED YOU TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS FIGHTING.

IT'S GETTING WORSE.

ALL OUR MILK'S TURNED
SOUR, WE'VE LOST

A WHOLE FIELD OF WHEAT

AND IF IT GOES ON LIKE THIS,
WE'RE GOING TO BE RUINED.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

THEY'RE HELPING ME
HELP THE LEPRECHAUN.

YOU SHOULDN'T

BE FIGHTING IN THE WAR.

YOU SHOULD BE TRYING
TO STOP THIS.

I AM STOPPING IT, OKAY?

I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN.

OH, JUST GREAT.

BIG-CITY BOY COMES TO IRELAND

TO HELP SAVE THE PEASANTS
FROM DESTRUCTION.

NOW, YOU HOLD ON
JUST A MINUTE.

I PULLED SOMEBODY

OUT OF THE RIVER.

THAT'S ALL I DID.

AND SUDDENLY I FIND MYSELF
A MILITARY ADVISOR

TO AN ARMY OF INVISIBLE PEOPLE
TWO FEET HIGH.

THAT WAS NOT IN THE BROCHURE

AND I'M HAVING A LITTLE PROBLEM
HANDLING IT, OKAY?

ON TOP OF THAT, I FALL IN LOVE

WITH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL
I'VE EVER MET

AND EVEN THOUGH SHE,
SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY

AND SO AS NOT
TO UPSET HER

I LOSE MY BOSSES A FORTUNE,
I LOSE MY JOB

I LOSE MY APARTMENT

BUT DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING
TO HER? NO, NO.

SHE STILL THINKS
I'M LYING TO HER.

MEANWHILE, THE WORLD
IS PROBABLY COMING TO AN END

AND FRANKLY, THIS CITY BOY

HAS JUST ABOUT HAD IT!

AH, KATHLEEN, YOUR BROTHERS
ARE DOING A FINE JOB.

COME ON, ME LITTLE
GINGER CENTURIONS.

KEEP ON DRILLING.

THAT'S WHAT WAR'S ALL ABOUT--

DRILLING AND KILLING,
DRILLING AND KILLING!

WE'RE TIRED.

OUR LITTLE LEGS
AREN'T USED TO IT.

WE'LL HAVE TO BECOME INVISIBLE.

IT'S LESS TIRING FOR US.

INVISIBLE?

OKAY, THEN.

Seamus:
OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

THEY'RE STILL THERE.

KEEP GOING, YES.

KEEP, KEEP GOING.

OH, OKAY THEN.

ALL RIGHT.

MARCHING ON THE SPOT!

HUT, TWO, THREE...

COME ON, LADS,
YOU'RE SOUNDING GOOD.

I HEAR YOU AND JACK

HAVE HAD A FALLING OUT,
KATHLEEN.

NOW, IF YOU

WANT MY ADVICE...

I DON'T!

RIGHT.

WELL, I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU
ANYWAY.

IT'S NO SKIN
OFF MY NOSE.

FORGET ABOUT THE
TROUBLES IN YOUR HEAD

BUT LISTEN TO THE JOY
IN YOUR HEART.

HE'S A FINE MAN,
AND YOU'RE

AS BEAUTIFUL A FLOWER
HAS EVER GRACED THE VALLEY HERE.

IF I WAS 200 YEARS YOUNGER
AND THREE FEET TALLER

I'D SHOVE YOU...

OH, HELLO!

THERE'S MARY MULDOON.

MISTRESS KATHLEEN

WHAT ARE YOUR FOUR
IDIOT BROTHERS DOING

TALKING TO THEMSELVES

IN AN EMPTY FIELD?

WELL, THEY'RE DRILLING
YOUR TROOPS, AREN'T THEY?

THEY'VE ALL
GONE INVISIBLE!

NO, THEY'VE ALL GONE
FOR A DRINK.

George: NOW MARCHING
IN DOUBLE-TIME.

LEFT, RIGHT. LEFT, RIGHT.

LEFT, RIGHT. LEFT, RIGHT.
LEFT, RIGHT.

LEFT, RIGHT.
LEFT, RIGHT.

(Seamus snickers)

(thunder rumbling)

ANYTHING WRONG, JACK?

NO, NOTHING MUCH

EXCEPT THAT I HAVE TO STOP A WAR

SAVE THE WORLD AND WIN BACK
THE ONLY WOMAN

I EVER LOVED.

OH, IS THAT ALL?

YEAH, THAT'S ABOUT IT.

I'M JUST AN ORDINARY GUY, MARY.

YOU'RE THE FIRST HUMAN IN YEARS

TO ACTUALLY SEE US LEPRECHAUNS
AND MAKE FRIENDS.

YOU CAN'T BE
THAT ORDINARY.

WELL, THAT WAS JUST LUCK.

MAYBE GOOD

MAYBE BAD.

IT MAKES YOU
EXTRAORDINARY.

SO WHAT DO I DO, MARY?

SLEEP ON IT.

George:
ON THE RIGHT.

QUICK MARCH.

Seamus:
OH, YES!

BASIC TRAINING.

CAN'T BEAT IT.

STRAIGHT LINES.

NEARLY STRAIGHT.

MARCHING MAGNIFICENTLY.

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT THEY DO TO THE ENEMY

BUT THEY SCARE THE BEJESUS
OUT OF ME.

(gasping)

MICKEY!

Mickey: DOWN THERE. COME ON.

I BEAR YOU
BAD NEWS, SIRE.

MICKEY MULDOON'S
ESCAPED OUR PATROLS

AND STILL HAS
YOUR DAUGHTER.

THE LEPRECHAUNS

WILL PROBABLY TRY AND
USE HER FOR BLACKMAIL.

DAMN IT. WE ARE BEATEN!

BEATEN?

I'M SORRY, I DON'T KNOW
THE MEANING OF THE WORD.

"BEATEN" MEANS
WE'RE FINISHED

DONE FOR, KAPUT, SIRE.

WE MUST TRY THE SAME PLAN.

NOW, THE PRINCESS
IS IMPORTANT TO US

SO WE HAVE
TO SNATCH SOMEBODY

IMPORTANT TO THEM.

AHH! MULDOON HIMSELF.

I WONDER

WHERE HE COULD BE.

HE'S JUST OUTSIDE.

(squeaking)

(sighing)

I'M, UH, JUST GOING
FOR A DRINK WITH FERGUS.

HELPS KEEP UP MORALE.

YOURS OR THEIRS?

YOU POSTED SENTRIES?

OF COURSE I HAVE,
AND I'VE ORDERED THEM ALL

TO STAY SHARP.

THEY'RE ABOUT AS SHARP
AS BILLIARD BALLS.

MARY. NOTHING WILL
HAPPEN HERE TONIGHT.

(light squeaking)

(Irish music playing)

AHH, THIS IS THE STUFF
THEY GIVE THE TROOPS.

UH, BUT SHOULDN'T WE BE HAVING
A BIT OF AN EARLY NIGHT, SIR?

YOU KNOW, WHAT, WITH THERE
BEING A BIG BATTLE AND ALL THAT?

GIELGUD, SOMETIMES I SUSPECT

YOU HAVE A LITTLE
TROOPER BLOOD IN YOU.

SORRY ABOUT THAT, SIR.

GIVE ME A NETTLE JUICE, THERE.

AND MAKE IT A DOUBLE.

(music stops)

(all cheering)

YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE,
SIRE, IT'S TOO DANGEROUS.

I MUST LEAD.
I'M YOUR KING.

(bird hooting)

WHAT WAS THAT?

AN OWL, SIRE.

WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO TAKE OVER?

OH, NO, NO, NO.

AH, BUT, THEN,
YOU GO IN FRONT

AND I'LL BE
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

RIGHT, MEN...

AWAY.

(people chattering
in distance)

SHH.

IT'S FOR COMMANDER MULDOON.

THERE'S MULDOON.

OH... WAIT, WAIT.
I'LL GET HIM.

(growls)

(laughing)

I DID IT.

AT LAST!

WHAT IS IT, BORIC?

VICTORY! GLORIOUS!

MAGNIFICENT VICTORY!

I WANT MY STATUE

ON A HORSE; I LOOK
SO GOOD ON A HORSE.

COPPER, BRONZE,
I DON'T MIND.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WE KIDNAPPED THE LEADER OF THE
LEPRECHAUNS, SEAMUS MULDOON.

(spluttering)

(mumbling)

(panting)

Jessica:
MY FATHER WON'T LISTEN

NOT EVEN TO ME.

HE'LL THINK THAT
I'M UNDER A SPELL.

MINE WILL THINK
THE SAME.

AND NOW EVIL THOUGHTS

SIT ON THY SHOULDERS.

IT'S OUR FAULT.

IF WE HADN'T RUN
AWAY TOGETHER.

I MAY BE

THE NEW GUY ON THE BLOCK HERE,
BUT IT'S MY GUESS

THAT YOU'RE JUST AN EXCUSE
FOR THEM TO KEEP FIGHTING.

IT'S NOT JUST A FIGHT.

THE GRAND BANSHEE'S
TAKING THE LIVES

OF THE SOLDIERS.

WE'RE NOT IMMORTAL ANYMORE.

WHO'S THE GRAND BANSHEE?

SHE'S THE HEAD

THE CHIEF, THE GRAND AVATAR

OF ALL THINGS FAIRY
AND LEPRECHAUN.

WELL, LET'S TALK TO HER.

TALK TO THE
GRAND BANSHEE?

YEAH, WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?

TOP OF MOONSTONE MOUNTAIN.

NO, I THINK THAT'S
A GOOD IDEA, MR. WOODS.

I THINK THAT MIGHT WORK.

SHE HAS THE POWER.

THERE YOU GO.

I'D LIKE KATHLEEN, UH...

KATHLEEN FITZPATRICK
TO COME WITH US.

WHY?

WELL, ANOTHER HUMAN.

SHE'S FROM AROUND
THESE PARTS.

SHE'S A WOMAN.

YOU KNOW, IT'LL SHOW
THAT WE'RE ALL CONCERNED.

YOU KNOW, THAT WE'RE
ALL IN IT TOGETHER.

OH, RIGHT.

WHAT?

(both laughing)

NOTHING.

(whinnies)

TO THE RIGHT.

NO!

FIREFLY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

FIREFLY!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

NO, TIME. WE'RE OFF TO
SEE THE GRAND BANSHEE.

MOONSTONE MOUNTAIN.

HOW DID YOU GET THE PONY
TO COME HERE?

THAT WAS ME, I'M AFRAID.

SORRY.

MOONSTONE MOUNTAIN, FIREFLY.

(Firefly whinnies)

Morag:
WHAT ARE YOU

GOING TO DO NOW?

INTERROGATE HER.

THIS IS AN INTERROGATION ROOM,
MA'AM.

I TOOK THE TROUBLE OF TURNING IT
INTO ONE MYSELF, PERSONALLY.

THERE'S NOTHING IN IT
EXCEPT A CHAIR.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT
A PROPER INTERROGATION ROOM.

YOU'RE GOING TO INTERROGATE ME?

ABOUT WHAT?

SEAMUS NEVER TELLS ME A THING.

HE JUST GRUNTS

WHEN I ASK HIM
ANYTHING.

JUST THE SAME WITH BORIC.

THAT'S HUSBANDS FOR YOU.

YOU'VE GOT IT IN ONE.

EXCUSE ME, COULD WE GET ON
WITH THE MATTER IN HAND?

SO, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO WITH ME

NOW THAT YOU'VE GOT ME?

SPERRY, SPERRY
AND McGIRK WANTED ME

TO LOOK INTO
SOME PROSPECTS.

THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL.

WELL, NO, NO.

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH,
OKAY?

IT WASN'T SPERRY AND SPERRY.

IT WAS McGIRK WHO ASKED ME.

AND DO I CARE?

WELL, I'M JUST
TELLING YOU.

SO YOU DECIDED
TO COME TO IRELAND

AND RUIN
OUR PEACE AND QUIET.

I HAVEN'T SEEN MUCH PEACE
AND QUIET SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE.

WELL, NORMALLY, IT'S MUCH
QUIETER THAN THIS, MR. WOODS.

Kathleen: YEAH, AND ANYWAY,
IT'S ABOUT OTHER THINGS AS WELL.

LIKE I DIDN'T TELL YOU.

YEAH.

HE DIDN'T TELL YOU?

NOT ONE WORD.

HAVE YOU ANY IDEA
WHERE WE'RE GOING?

DO YOU?

UH, PROBLEM.

LOOKS LIKE WE'LL HAVE
TO SWING AROUND IT.

JUST LIKE THAT?

UNLESS YOU'VE GOT
A BETTER IDEA.

IS THAT NECESSARY?

I'VE DONE SOME
CLIMBING, YOU KNOW.

MOUNTAIN OR SOCIAL?

GIVE US THE ROPE
THERE, MR. WOODS.

I'LL TIE IT OFF
SOMEWHERE UP THERE.

IT WILL BE

A HUMAN-SIZE KNOT,
WON'T IT, MICKEY?

HELLO, DON'T LOOK DOWN.

(gasps)

Mickey: THAT'S IT. YOU'RE
DOING FINE THERE.

YEAH, THAT'S EASY
FOR YOU FLYBOYS TO SAY.

WOULD YOU STOP SHAKING THE ROPE!

THAT'S NOT THE ROPE.
THAT'S ME.

(deep rumbling)

Mickey:
QUICK! CRAWL UNDER THIS LEDGE.

(screams)

(grunts)

I GOT YOU!

WE'VE GOT TO HELP THEM.

(grunting)

THANK YOU, MICKEY
AND JESSICA.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP.

THAT'S FINE.

SEE WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN FAIRIES

AND LEPRECHAUNS
WORK TOGETHER.

YEAH.

OH, THAT'S OKAY, KATHLEEN.

NO THANKS NECESSARY.

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO THANK YOU.

OH. OH, WELL, OKAY.

THANK YOU.

WHAT? THAT'S IT?

JUST THANK YOU?

NO SMALL GIFT?

NO OFFER
OF ADOPTION?

WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

(chuckles)

VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OKAY, I'LL TAKE "VERY MUCH"
FOR A START.

AND DON'T MAKE
ANYTHING OF THAT.

NOTHING GETS
TO A LADY'S HEART QUICKER

THAN SAVING HER
FROM FALLING TO HER DEATH.

YEAH, I'VE GOT HER RIGHT
WHERE SHE WANTS ME.

THAT'S THE ENTRANCE THERE.

IT'S TINY.

WE'LL NEVER GET THROUGH THERE.

OKAY, I'LL GO
BY MYSELF.

I'LL DEAL
WITH THE GRAND BANSHEE.

AND ME.

NO, JESSICA,
IT MIGHT BE DANGEROUS.

MICKEY, WE DO
THIS TOGETHER

SO SHE CAN SEE THAT
BOTH SIDES WANT PEACE.

IT MAKES SENSE,
MICKEY.

I KNOW, BUT LEPRECHAUNS
HAVE NO SENSE.

JESSICA...

I'M COMING WHETHER
YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

JESSICA.

IT'S A TROJAN!

FERGUS FLYNN, ESQUIRE.

THE FIERY CHANGELING

OF MOONSTONE MOUNTAIN,
IF YOU PLEASE.

THE ONE AND ONLY GUARDIAN

OF THE CAVE
OF THE HIGH COUNSELOR.

KILLER OF CATTLE

DESTROYER OF TOWNS

AND GENERAL
ALL-AROUND GOODFELLA.

WE WANT TO SEE
THE GRAND BANSHEE.

HAVE YOU AN APPOINTMENT?

Mickey:
NO.

WE DIDN'T KNOW
WE NEEDED ONE.

WELL, YOU DO.

SO HOW DO WE GET ONE?

FROM THE GRAND BANSHEE.

OH, TO SEE
THE GRAND BANSHEE

WE HAVE TO GET
AN APPOINTMENT.

FROM THE GRAND BANSHEE.

NOT EASY, IS IT?

HMM.

"HMM"? WHAT DOES "HMM" MEAN?

IT MEANS I KNOW A BAG
OF HOT AIR WHEN I SEE ONE.

YOU TALKING ABOUT ME?

I'LL SQUASH YOU FLAT.

YOU'RE NOT BIG ENOUGH.

STILL THINK I'M NOT BIG ENOUGH?

WELL, YOU'RE BIG, FLYNN

BUT YOU'RE
STILL NOTHING.

NOW! GO!

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

IT'S CHEATING!

WHOA!

(Fergus roaring)

UH-OH.

Fergus:
OH, DEAR.

(whooshing and chirping)

FUNNY-LOOKING FELLAS.

CAN WE HELP YOU?

WE'VE COME TO SEE
THE GRAND BANSHEE.

HAVE YOU AN APPOINTMENT?

DO WE NEED ONE?

NO, BUT YOU CAN'T SEE HER
WITHOUT ONE.

Jessica:
HOW DO WE GET ONE?

ASK THE GRAND BANSHEE?

OH, YOU KNOW THAT ROUTINE.

FROM THE FIERY FOOL
AT THE ENTRANCE.

YES, YOU JUST CAN'T GET
THE STAFF NOWADAYS.

WILL YOU CALL HER?

PLEASE?!

OH-HOO, THE "PL" WORD.

WE DON'T HEAR THAT AROUND HERE
VERY OFTEN, DO WE?

NO, WE DON'T.

LET'S SEE WHAT WE CAN DO.

AH, LOOK, YOU'RE IN LUCK.

WE'VE HAD A CANCELLATION.

THE GRAND BANSHEE
CAN SEE YOU NOW.

AH. WELCOME
TO THE HOTEL SPLENDIDE.

WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK?

NO, THANK YOU.

WE'RE HERE TO...

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE.

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

WHY ARE YOU LIVING
IN A HOTEL?

BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE
THE ROOM SERVICE.

Mickey:
GRAND BANSHEE

WE CAME HERE TO ASK YOU
TO STOP THIS WAR.

WE STARTED IT,
MICKEY AND ME.

WE'RE IN LOVE, BUT OUR
FAMILIES DON'T APPROVE.

WELL, IT'S VERY GOOD OF YOU

TO COME AND TRY TO TAKE
ALL THE BLAME ON YOURSELVES

BUT I KNOW
THERE ARE OTHER REASONS.

WELL, PERHAPS, BUT
PEOPLE ARE BEING HURT.

EVERYTHING IS
BEING DESTROYED.

Mickey: CAN'T YOU STOP
IT, GRAND BANSHEE?

NO. NO, I CAN'T.

WELL, WHY NOT?

WELL, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T
STOP PEOPLE DOING

WHAT THEY REALLY WANT TO DO.

AND I WARNED THEM
AND I WARNED YOU

BUT NOBODY LISTENED.

I TOOK AWAY THEIR IMMORTALITY,
AND STILL NOBODY PAID

A BIT OF ATTENTION.

BUT IF THIS WAR
CARRIES ON

THEN THERE'LL BE NO
FAIRIES LEFT IN IRELAND.

IF THIS WAR CARRIES ON

AND THEY DON'T TAKE CARE
OF NATURE

THERE'LL BE NO IRELAND OR
ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.

COME, LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

FROM HERE I CAN SEE
MOTHER NATURE HERSELF.

Mickey:
OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

EXCEPT THAT HER LEAVES ARE
USUALLY GREEN AND GROWING

AS THEY HAVE BEEN
FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS.

Jessica: AND NOW THEY'RE
BROWN AND FALLING.

BECAUSE SHE'S
BEEN NEGLECTED.

WHEN THE LAST LEAF FALLS

FROM THE TREE

ALL GROWTH AND ALL THINGS
WILL END.

CAN WE STOP IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE NEVER SEEN HER
LOOK LIKE THIS.

PERHAPS IF WE COULD
STOP THE FIGHTING

MAYBE IT'S TOO LATE.

Jessica: HOW LONG DO
YOU THINK WE'VE GOT?

NOT LONG.

WHAT ABOUT US?

WHAT ABOUT US?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WHAT? I CANNOT
TRUST YOU ANYMORE.

AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

NO, IT'S NOT AS SIMPLE
AS THAT, KATHLEEN.

YOU KNOW I'M
IN LOVE WITH YOU.

SO YOU SAY.

LISTEN TO ME.

I HAVE GIVEN UP EVERYTHING
BECAUSE I WANT TO STAY HERE.

I WANT TO BE HAPPY!

WELL, I'M NOT
STOPPING YOU.

WELL, AS A MATTER
OF FACT, YOU ARE.

GET OUT.

SORRY. THAT WAS HIM.

STOP THAT.

SORRY.

SIR! SIR! WHERE'S

MICKEY AND PRINCESS JESSICA?

I DON'T KNOW.

THEY'RE STILL MISSING.

WHAT'S YOUR ORDERS?

OH, UH... WELL, I SUPPOSE

I HAVE TO DO
THE HONORABLE THING

AND RESCUE MY WIFE.

WE'LL ATTACK.

GREAT.

THEY MIGHT TORTURE
HER IF WE ATTACK.

YOU'RE A GOOD LAD,
JERICHO

BUT YOU CAN'T CHEER ME UP
THAT EASILY.

COME ON.

THE FOOLS ARE TRYING
TO BREAK IN. IMPOSSIBLE!

YOU'D BETTER LEARN TO FLY
IF YOU WANT TO TAKE ME ON!

RIGHT, MY OAKSHEE FRIENDS.

DO YOUR BEST.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, LAD.

BRACE YOURSELF.

I AM BRACED, YOU FOOL.

FIRE!

MARQUIS!

GUARDS!

JERICHO!

RETREAT.

RETREAT!

ALL THAT WE DID
WAS FALL IN LOVE.

IT WAS ENOUGH
TO SET THEM

AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS.

THERE ARE HARDLY
ANY LEAVES LEFT.

THE THORN TREE.

EVIL THINGS SIT ON
THOSE TWISTED BRANCHES.

THEY SAY THAT LOVERS
WHO LEAN AGAINST THE THORN TREE

LOSE THEIR LOVE FOREVER.

I DON'T WANT
TO LOSE MY LOVE.

NO, NO,
NOR DO I, BUT...

BUT IF WE... IF WE STOPPED

CARING SO MUCH
ABOUT EACH OTHER

MAYBE WE COULD RETURN
TO OUR FAMILIES

AND, AND THEY'D
MAKE PEACE.

MICKEY...

ARE YOU SURE?

NO, NO, I'M NOT

BUT SHOULDN'T WE
AT LEAST TRY?

YES.

SO, HOW DO YOU FEEL?

ALL RIGHT.

AND HOW DO YOU
FEEL ABOUT ME?

ALL RIGHT.

HOW DO... HOW DO
YOU FEEL ABOUT ME?

ALL RIGHT.

OH, GOOD.

WELL, THAT'S
ALL RIGHT, THEN.

YES. YES, IT IS.

SO, TO TEST IT--

TO MAKE SURE
IT'S ALL OVER--

IT'S ALL FINISHED
BETWEEN US--

IF I WERE TO GIVE
YOU A LITTLE KISS

LIKE THIS...
YOU FEEL...?

NOTHING.

OH, RIGHT.

AND, WELL, IF I WAS
TO KISS YOU BACK...

LIKE THIS...?

NOT A THING.

GOOD. YEAH.

SAME HERE.

AND IF...
IF I WERE TO...

TO HOLD ONTO
YOU LIKE THIS...?

AND IF I... I WERE
TO PUT MY ARMS AROUND YOU

LIKE... LIKE THIS...?

MAYBE A LITTLE
TREMOR THERE.

JUST A LITTLE ONE.

YOU'RE RICH, BOYS!

YOU'RE RICH!

TIME TO GET THE GOLD
I PROMISED YOU.

LADS. LADS!

I FOUND SOMETHING.

(all laughing)

SEAMUS, WHAT'S
BEEN HAPPENING?

DID YOU WIN?

IT WAS
A GLORIOUS DRAW.

SO, DOES THAT

MEAN PEACE?

NEVER.

TOTAL VICTORY OR NOTHING.

IF YOU DON'T
MAKE PEACE

THERE'LL BE NOTHING LEFT
TO FIGHT OVER.

BUT THE TROOPING FOOLS WILL HAVE
TO AGREE TO PEACE, AS WELL.

THEY'LL NEVER

DO THAT SO LONG
AS THEY THINK

THAT MICKEY HAS
SPIRITED JESSICA WAY.

THEN WE'LL HAVE TO
GET THEM TO EXPLAIN.

WHERE COULD THEY
HAVE GONE, SEAMUS?

OH, PROBABLY THE SWAMP.

THAT'S NEUTRAL
TERRITORY.

THE SWAMP.

YOU KNOW THE WAY

THERE, DO YOU?

I KNOW THIS IS A STUPID QUESTION

BUT IS THERE REAL GOLD?

HAH!

I TOLD YOU

THERE'S MORE,
THERE'S MORE!

THERE'S ONE THERE.

WHERE?
THERE'S ONE OVER BY THE TREES.

KEEP GOING.

Boric: AND YOU GIVE US YOUR WORD
THAT YOU WON'T TRY TO ESCAPE?

Mary:
OF COURSE I WON'T.

AND EVEN IF I DID,
WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME?

THIS IS A VERY BARE-LOOKING
ROOM, YOUR MAJESTY.

YOU COULD DO WONDERS

WITH A FEW FLOWERS
AND SOME SCATTER CUSHIONS

AND MAYBE
A SMALL SOFA.

SIRE? SIRE?

I THINK YOU
SHOULD COME

AND SEE WHAT PROGRESS
WE HAVE MADE.

EXCUSE ME, LADIES.

WHAT IS THAT

IDIOT BULSTRODE
DOING NOW?

HE'S DIGGING A TUNNEL
UNDER THE PALACE.

DIGGING A TUNNEL TO GET OUT?

THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

WE'RE BESIEGING YOU.

WE SHOULD BE DIGGING A TUNNEL
TO GET IN.

THAT'S WHAT
I KEEP SAYING

BUT THEY WON'T
LISTEN TO ME.

THEY NEVER DO.

AND THEY'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN
ABOUT MY DAUGHTER.

POOR, SWEET JESSICA...

UNDER THAT LEPRECHAUN'S SPELL!

I THINK YOU'LL FIND
IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

MICKEY HAS BEEN BEWITCHED
BY A CHIT OF A GIRL.

OF COURSE, YOU WOULD SAY THAT,
WOULDN'T YOU?

IT'S TYPICAL, DOUBLE-DEALING
LEPRECHAUN BEHAVIOR.

DOUBLE-DEALING, IS IT?

NOW, YOU LISTEN TO ME.

I WON'T LISTEN
TO SOMEONE

WHOSE IDEA
OF HAVING A WASH

IS TO STAND OUTSIDE
AND WAIT FOR THE RAIN.

AND I WON'T LISTEN TO SOMEONE

WHOSE ONLY IDEA OF A FRIEND
CAN BE FOUND IN A MIRROR.

OUR ENGINEERS ARE WORKING

ON THE TUNNEL
NIGHT AND DAY.

AND IT HAD TO BE IN THE MIDDLE

OF THE BALLROOM,
DID IT?

YES, SIRE.

IT'S A DIRECT LINE
BETWEEN HERE AND THERE.

HAS THE QUEEN SEEN WHAT
YOU'VE DONE TO THE FLOOR?

NOT YET.

WELL, MAKE SURE I'M THERE
WHEN SHE DOES, WILL YOU?

CERTAINLY.

COME, SIRE.

I'M NOT GOING DOWN THERE.

NOT HERE.

OUTSIDE,
TO SEE THE REBEL CAMP.

WE'RE DIGGING A TUNNEL
UNDER THAT FIELD

AND UNDER THEIR CAMP.

Boric:
THEY'LL BE SURPRISED

WHEN WE POP UP BEHIND THEM.

IF THE TUNNEL DOESN'T COLLAPSE.

GOOD POINT.

OH, THAT'S A FIRST.

I MADE A GOOD POINT.

SEE IT DOESN'T,
BULSTRODE.

THAT'S ALREADY
TAKEN CARE OF, SIRE.

I'VE GIVEN STRICT ORDERS TO IT
THAT IT'S NOT TO COLLAPSE.

OH, THAT'LL WORK, THEN.

WE CAN ALL SLEEP EASY
IN OUR BEDS TONIGHT.

AH!

AND ENGLISH BUTTER TO BOOT.

THIS PUTS

A WHOLE DIFFERENT
COMPLEXION ON THE MATTER.

BUTTER CHANGES
EVERYTHING.

I HAD A FEELING

IT MIGHT MAKE
A DIFFERENCE, UNCLE.

BUT WE HAVEN'T COME HERE
FOR SANCTUARY.

WE WANT YOUR ADVICE.

REALLY? WHY ME, LAD?

THIS SITUATION NEEDS
SOMEONE WHO'S CLEVER

DEVIOUS, SLIPPERY
AND CROOKED.

SOMEONE WHO CAN
SEE AROUND CORNERS.

FLATTERY WILL
GET YOU EVERYTHING.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

WE WANT TO PUT
A STOP TO THIS WAR

BRING OUR
FAMILIES TOGETHER.

IT'LL HAVE
TO BE SOMETHING

REALLY SPECTACULAR
AND SHOCKING.

HMM.

HAVE YOU THOUGHT

OF DYING AT ALL?

WELL... WELL, IF...

IF YOU THINK
THAT IT MIGHT

REALLY HELP, THEN...

NO, I DON'T
MEAN FOR REAL.

THAT MIGHT SUCCEED

BUT YOU WOULDN'T BE
THERE TO ENJOY IT.

THAT WOULD DEFEAT THE
WHOLE POINT OF THE EXERCISE.

NO, IF YOUR FAMILIES THOUGHT
YOU'D GO THAT FAR

RATHER THAN BE PARTED

THAT WOULD DO THE TRICK
JUST AS WELL.

IT MIGHT.

BUT... BUT
HOW COULD IT WORK?

FOLLOW YOUR
UNCLE JENTEE.

THIS...

IS POISON.

WELL, LET'S SAY,
IT ACTS LIKE POISON.

DRINK IT, BLOOD STOPS,
YOU GO INTO A COMA.

OF COURSE, A LOT OF
PEOPLE I KNOW ARE IN A COMA

WITHOUT DRINKING THIS--
NO NAMES.

NO PATRIAL.

ANYWAY, FOR ALL
INTENTS AND PURPOSES

THAT'S IT.

NOW, THIS...

IS THE ANTIDOTE.

DRINK IT...

AND YOU'LL BE FINE

PROVIDED YOU DRINK IT

WITHIN TEN MINUTES

OF TAKING THE POISON.

IF YOU DON'T...

NO MORE CRICKET ON THE GREEN.

NO MORE WARM BEER.

NO MORE BUTTER.

MICKEY!

JESSICA!

Kathleen:
JESSICA!

MICKEY!

THERE.

Jessica:
KATHLEEN.

HEY, THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE SAFE.

YOU HAVE TO COME BACK
AND EXPLAIN.

THEY THINK YOU'RE UNDER
SOME MAGIC SPELL.

WE ARE.
WE'RE IN LOVE.

WE HAVE A PLAN.

LISTEN.

OKAY, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

YEAH, IF YOU THINK
IT'LL WORK.

THEY'LL NEED TIME
TO PREPARE THOUGH.

GOOD LUCK, MR. WOODS.

Mickey:
GOOD LUCK.

GOOD LUCK, JACK.

LOOK.

(thunder rumbling)

(cracking)

(wind whistling)

(screaming)

(screaming)

(frightened grunting)

(grunts)

YOU REALLY
SHOULD WATCH

WHERE YOU'RE GOING, MR. WOODS.

YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

COURSE.

I'M THE GRAND BANSHEE.

YOU'RE THE GRAND BANSHEE?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
LOOK SO SURPRISED.

WHAT WERE YOU
EXPECTING--

TWO HEADS, FIRE BREATHING?

I COULD DO THAT, TOO.

(laughing):
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU.

I'D LIKE THIS WAR TO END
AS MUCH AS YOU WOULD.

YEAH?

(chuckles)

WE HAVE A PLAN.

I KNOW.

YOU DO?

I'M ALL-SEEING.

THAT'S WHY I PLUCKED YOU

OUT OF THE TWISTER.

OH.

WELL...

THANKS.

WELL... YOU'RE WELCOME.

SO, WILL IT WORK?

YOUR PLAN?

YEAH.

I'M... ALL-SEEING.

THAT'S A LITTLE VAGUE.

WELL, I'M NOT A FORTUNE TELLER,
AM I?

GOOD DAY.

OH, SO, YOU WOULDN'T...
YOU WOULDN'T KNOW

BY ANY CHANCE,
IF KATHLEEN AND I WERE...

(squawking)

WHOA.

AAH... TROOPERS.

(chuckling)

Jack:
SEAMUS?

SEAMUS.

Seamus:
OH, JACK.

OH, I'M GLAD TO SEE
YOU'VE DECIDED

TO JOIN THE SIDE
OF RIGHT AND JUSTICE.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU... ALONE.

LISTEN, SEAMUS...

YOU GOT TO CALL
A PEACE CONFERENCE HERE NOW.

WHAT?

MICKEY AND PRINCESS JESSICA--

THEY BELIEVE THAT
THEIR LOVE IS THE REASON

FOR ALL THIS FIGHTING.

THEY'D RATHER DIE
THAN BE PARTED.

THEY WOULDN'T.

OH, THEY WOULD

AND THEY WILL,
UNLESS YOU GET IN TOUCH

WITH KING BORIC
AND AT LEAST TALK.

I CAN'T DO IT.

I CAN'T.

I JUST CAN'T.

I HAVE MY PRIDE.

WHAT'S THAT
AGAINST YOUR SON'S LIFE, SEAMUS?

Boric:
THE WHITE FLAG?

WHAT THE DEVIL DOES HE WANT?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

AND MY MICKEY?

UH, TOGETHER

UNLESS BOTH SIDES
MEET AND TALK.

Boric:
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

Morag:
I BELIEVE IT.

SHE WOULDN'T DO IT.

SHE WOULD!

SHE'S IN LOVE!

MULDOON WOULDN'T THINK UP
THAT TRICK

JUST TO GET YOU TALKING.

AYE, HE ONLY WANTS US
TO TALK.

IF WE DON'T TALK,
AND THE TWO OF THEM DO IT...

WELL, OF COURSE,
WE'LL TALK.

BORIC!

THEY HAVE A HUMAN
TO FIGHT FOR THEM.

DON'T WORRY.

THEY'RE DOCILE

SO LONG AS YOU DON'T MAKE
ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS.

AND WHERE
IS BULSTRODE?

UNDERGROUND,
STILL DIGGING.

Boric: BEST PLACE FOR HIM.

AND WHO'S THIS?

A NEUTRAL.

HE'S HERE AS AN OBSERVER.

I'M NOT FIGHTING.

IT WOULDN'T MATTER TO US
IF YOU DID.

CHAMBERLAIN.

Chamberlain:
ON BEHALF OF KING BORIC

AND THE TROOPING FAIRIES

WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE
TO SAY "HELLO" TO YOUR WIFE.

HELLO.

NOW, LET'S GET ON WITH IT.

IS THAT ALL
YOU HAVE TO SAY

YOU HALF-GUTTED
MACKEREL?

THE MAN ASKED ME
IF I'D LIKE TO SAY "HELLO"

AND I HAVE SAID "HELLO."

NOW, LET'S GET ON WITH
THE IMPORTANT STUFF.

I AM SEAMUS MULDOON

WHOSE CLAN WERE
THE LORDS OF OFFALY

1,000 YEARS
BEFORE HIS ANCIENT MAJESTY HERE

WAS EVEN BORN.

Boric:
MY CLAN STRETCHES BACK

TO BEFORE A LEPRECHAUN
HAD EVEN THOUGHT

OF BUILDING

A MUD HUT.

(cheering and applause)

WE'RE NOT HERE TO PROVE
WHOSE FAMILY'S THE OLDEST.

WE'RE HERE TO MAKE PEACE
FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S SAKE.

Seamus:
"PEACE"?

WHAT PEACE?

THESE TROOPING FAIRIES
KILLED SEAN DEVINE

AND DROVE MY SON INTO EXILE!

Boric:
THESE LEPRECHAUNS

HAVE KIDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER,
JESSICA

CAST A SPELL ON HER

AND KILLED MY NEPHEW,
COUNT GROGAN.

WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER?

WHAT HAVE YOU
DONE WITH HER?

Seamus: WELL, I HAVE
NO IDEA WHERE SHE IS.

SHE... ENTICED MY SON
AWAY FROM HIS DUTY

WITH HER
FEMALE MAGIC.

THAT'S RIGHT.
YES, SHE DID.

(muttering)

(all yelling)

WE'RE HERE TO MAKE PEACE.

(shouting continuing)

OKAY.

IT MUST BE

WITHIN TEN MINUTES.

YES, I KNOW.

DON'T WORRY.

OVER HERE!

OVER HERE, QUICKLY!

HURRY, TAKE THEM
TO THEIR PARENTS!

HURRY!

(warriors shouting)

RIGHT THERE!

WOULD YOU BELIEVE THIS?

WITH OUR HUSBANDS
IN CHARGE?

YES.
YES.

JESSICA!

MICKEY!

(sobbing)

THEY TOOK A POTION.

NO!

I WARNED YOU.

THEY THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE
THE REASON FOR THIS WAR.

THEY THOUGHT
THIS WAY IT WOULD END.

YOU CAN'T LET THEIR SACRIFICE
BE IN VAIN.

END THIS WAR NOW.

(whispering):
THERE MUST BE A PEACE TREATY.

Jack:
LATER.

RIGHT NOW

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS

SHAKE HANDS OVER THE BODIES
OF YOUR CHILDREN.

"SHAKE HANDS"?

A HANDSHAKE BETWEEN GENTLEMEN

IS MORE BINDING THAN ANY TREATY
IN THE WORLD.

AH, THAT'S TRUE.

DO IT.

SHAKE HANDS!

NOW, BORIC!

(clears throat)

(horse nickering)

(grunts)

(whinnying)

WHERE'S JACK?

WON'T SOMEONE HELP?

SOMEONE HELP, PLEASE!

JACK?

JACK, I DIDN'T
MEAN ANY OF IT.

(sobbing)

I LOVE YOU, JACK.

(clamoring)

COME ON, MEN, WE'RE THERE!

YOU'RE NOWHERE,
YOU BLUNDERING FOOL!

IT'S HAPPENING.

NO!

WHY WON'T SHE SAVE

OUR CHILDREN?!

SAVE THEM.
YOU MUST!

BRING THEM
BACK TO US.

AND JACK. SAVE JACK.

I CAN'T SAVE JACK.

HE DOESN'T NEED IT.

HE'S ONLY WINDED.

WHAT?

JACK...

JACK?

JACK!

(laughing)

AH, BUT MICKEY AND JESSICA,
THAT'S ANOTHER STORY.

THEY'RE NOT
SO EASILY SAVED.

BUT THAT'S WHAT COMES
FROM STUPID WAR.

BUT IT'S OVER.

THEY... THEY SHOOK HANDS.

THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO

UNLESS, OF COURSE

YOU REALLY WANT PEACE
IN YOUR HEARTS.

GENTLEMEN'S
AGREEMENT--

NO MORE WAR.

NEVER AGAIN!

Bulstrode:
DON'T SAY THAT, SIRE!

I'D BE OUT OF WORK!

UNLESS EVERYONE WANTS PEACE.

WE DO!

WE DO! WE DO!

BULSTRODE!

OH, ALL RIGHT, THEN.

(cheering)

LOOK!
OH...

JESSICA...

WHAT'S HAPPENED?

SEAN!

SEAN!

SEAN
HOW'S IT GOING, LADS?

I MUST HAVE
FELL ASLEEP.

I HAD A FEW, AND
I WAS DEAD TIRED.

YEAH, YOU WERE
DEAD, ALL RIGHT.

WHAT'S GOING ON,
GRAND BANSHEE?

IT'S A SURPRISE.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD
BRING THEM BACK LIKE THAT.

WELL, IF YOU KNEW,
IT WOULDN'T BE A SURPRISE

NOW, WOULD IT?

(laughing)

WHERE IS COUNT GROGAN?

OH, I'LL BE KEEPING HIM
FOR THE NEXT 100 YEARS OR SO

JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

GOOD THINKING,
GRAND BANSHEE.

WIFE'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY.

UH, HOW ABOUT A DRINK
BEFORE YOU GO?

OH, NO, I COULDN'T.

OH, YES, I COULD.

SAVE ME A BRANCH; I'LL BE BACK.

DRINKS ALL AROUND!

ON ME!

(cheers)
GREAT IDEA.

NOTHING.

NOTHING!

HEY, YOU!

YOU SCURVY KNICK-KNOCKER!

THERE'S NO POTS HERE!

THERE'S NO GOLD.

HE CHEATED US!

YOU AND THAT...
TODDLIN' TRIPE

CALLED MULDOON.

SOMEBODY CALL?

THERE HE IS, LADS.

NOW, HOLD ON.

HOLD ON. HOLD ON.

GOLD IS THERE.

JUST HAVEN'T DUG
IN THE RIGHT PLACES.

WE'VE DUG EVERY PLACE.

YOU HAVEN'T DUG...

THERE.

THAT LOOKS GOOD.

(rumbling)

WHAT'S HAPPENING, LADS?

WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW?

IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!

YES, BOYS, YOU'RE RICH!
YOU'RE RICH!

I WANT TO GET MARRIED
HERE IN IRELAND.

I HAVEN'T
ASKED YOU YET.

WERE YOU GOING TO?

MAYBE.

ALL THE WORDS IN THE WORLD

WON'T MAKE A
MARRIAGE BINDING.

ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT.

IT'S UP TO YOU.

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU

MAN AND WIFE.

♪ I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN CERTAIN ♪

♪ THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS
WHAT THEY SEEM ♪

♪ THOUGH THE HEAVENS
STOP TURNING ♪

♪ I'LL BE HOLDING
ONTO OUR DREAM ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY ♪

? FLY AWAY...?
DRINK UP, BULSTRODE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

NO MORE WARS.

AW, WRITE YOUR MEMOIRS.

"HOW I SAVED THE WORLD
AND OTHER FAIRY STORIES."

YES. YES, THAT'S
A MARVELOUS IDEA.

♪ ...YOU HEARD MY WORD,
MY HOPE, MY CALL ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY OVER ♪

♪ YOU GAVE YOUR HAND,
YOUR HEART, YOUR ALL ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY OVER IT ALL ♪

♪ IN A MAGICAL MOMENT ♪

♪ YOU REACHED OUT
AND TOUCHED THE REAL ME ♪

♪ NOW THERE'S NO STONE
BEFORE US ♪

♪ AS STRONG
AS THE LOVE WE BOTH FEEL ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY, FLY AWAY ♪

♪ IF WE GIVE OUR LOVE,
LOVE WILL COME OUR WAY ♪

♪ FLY AWAY, FLY AWAY ♪

♪ FROM THE DARKNESS TO THE SUN,
LET OUR SPIRITS BE AS ONE ♪

♪ YOU HEARD MY WORD,
MY HOPE, MY CALL ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY OVER ♪

♪ YOU GAVE YOUR HAND,
YOUR HEART, YOUR ALL ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY OVER IT ALL ♪

♪ FLY AWAY OVER... ♪

IT IS BEAUTIFUL.

I CAN SEE IT NOW.

I CAN.

IT'S THE SECOND
MOST BEAUTIFUL THING

I'VE EVER SEEN.

♪ ...FLY AWAY, FLY AWAY ♪

♪ IF WE GIVE OUR LOVE,
LOVE WILL COME OUR WAY ♪

♪ FLY AWAY, FLY AWAY ♪

♪ FROM THE DARKNESS TO THE SUN,
LET OUR SPIRITS BE AS ONE ♪

♪ YOU HEARD MY WORD,
MY HOPE, MY CALL ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY OVER ♪

♪ YOU GAVE YOUR HAND,
YOUR HEART, YOUR ALL ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY OVER IT ALL ♪

♪ YOU HEARD MY WORD,
MY HOPE, MY CALL ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY OVER IT ALL ♪

♪ YOU GAVE YOUR HAND,
YOUR HEART, YOUR ALL ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY
OVER IT ALL... ♪