All language subtitles for The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns [1999] Part One.english

(muted whispering)

(beeps)

THIS'LL BE MY FIRST CHANCE
TO GET OUT OF NEW YORK

IN ALMOST TWO YEARS.

IT'S NOT A VACATION,
JACK, OKAY?

IT JUST HAS TO
LOOK THAT WAY.

YOU'RE THERE TO DO
A JOB FOR US.

I KNOW THAT.

IRELAND WOULD BE
A PERFECT SITE FOR US.

THE COMPANY'S GOT A LOT
INVESTED IN THIS PROJECT.

SO HAVE I.

EXACTLY.

SO DON'T SCREW UP.

(birds singing)

SO, WAS IT A GOOD TRIP,
MR. WOODS?

YEAH, YEAH, IT
WAS FINE, THANKS.

NOT TOO MUCH OF THE OLD
TURBULENCE, THEN?

NO.

ON THE AIRPLANE?

NO, IT WAS, UH... IT WAS OKAY.

IT WAS OKAY? WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

MUST BE A TERRIBLE THING
TO BE BOUNCED ABOUT LIKE THAT.

DON'T YOU HAVE A CAR?

OH, YES, A FINE ONE.

BUT, UH, I DON'T
USE IT SO MUCH

SINCE THE FITZPATRICK BROTHERS
GOT THEIR VAN FIXED.

THE TRAFFIC'S BEEN TOO BAD.

WHOA, YEAH...

HERE WE GO.

THERE.

WOW.

THAT'S "WOW," YES?

YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS
THERE, MR. WOODS.

YOU'LL NOT SEE ANYTHING FINER
IN THE WHOLE OF KERRY.

(thumping)

(groaning)

MIND THE BEAM.

BOY, THIS HOUSE
WAS BUILT

FOR LITTLE
PEOPLE.

NO! NO! IT'S NOT!

(chuckling):
NOT AT ALL.

WELL, IT'S PERFECT, JUST
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR.

GOOD! GOOD...

(chuckling)

YOU-YOU HERE FOR A LITTLE
OF THE OLD REST

AND RECUPERATION,
YOU WERE SAYING.

YEAH, YEAH, A LITTLE REST,
DO A LITTLE FISHING, MAYBE.

AH, WELL, WE HAVE SALMON
THE SIZE OF DOLPHINS

AND TROUT THAT'LL JUMP
RIGHT INTO YOUR PAN

WITH A PAT OF BUTTER
ALREADY MELTED IN THEIR MOUTHS.

(chuckling)

HOW DO THE, UH,
THE LIGHTS WORK?

WE HAVE OIL LAMPS
IN ALL THE ROOMS.

OH.

WHAT, THERE'S NO ELECTRICITY?

NO...

TOO FAR TO CARRY IT.

AND THE STOVE, IS THAT, UH...

IS THAT OIL, TOO?

EH, THAT BURNS PEAT.

STRAIGHT FROM THE BOG, DRIED
AND MAKES A POWERFUL FIRE.

SO TO COOK, I HAVE TO...
SET FIRE TO DIRT?

AND YOU'LL NEVER WANT TO USE
ANYTHING ELSE.

WILL YOU BE TAKING THE LET?

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M
GETTING IT SO CHEAPLY.

ARE YOU SURE THERE'S
NOT SOMETHING

YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME
ABOUT THIS PLACE?

NO, NO, IT'S JUST
THAT LETTING'S A BIT SLOW

AT THIS TIME OF YEAR

WHAT WITH IT BEING
THE, UH, SUMMER AND ALL.

AND HERE TO CELEBRATE
YOUR NEW HOME

IS A TRADITIONAL
HOUSEWARMING GIFT FOR YOU.

WHAT IS IT?

IRISH POTEEN,
THE FINEST.

WHAT IS IT,
LIKE-LIKE WHISKEY?

A WEE TOUCH STRONGER,
MAYBE.

WHOA...

BEST NOT DRUNK CLOSE
TO A FLAME

AND TRY NOT TO LET IT TOUCH
YOUR GUMS ON THE WAY DOWN.

(laughing)

I'LL JUST STICK IT
IN THE HOUSE FOR LATER.

NO, NO, NO!

I CAN DO THAT
FOR YOU, NOW.

LET ME DO IT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
I GOT IT.

IT'S STUCK.

EH-EH-EH,
LET ME TRY, NOW.

THESE OLD DOORS CAN
SOMETIMES BE A BIT TRICKY.

(grunting)

(groaning)

WHAT WAS THAT?

JUST MICE.

IT'LL, UH...

IT'LL BE SAFE THERE, NOW...

UH, FOR YOUR RETURN.

(grunting)

(birds singing)

(loud splashing)

(yelling)

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT?

GET OUT OF HERE!

COME ON, NOW,
YOU-YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I UNDERSTAND WELL ENOUGH:
PEEPING TOM!

NO... NO!

COME ON,
I WAS JUST WALKING BY.

I DIDN'T REALIZE

THAT YOU WERE... OW!

I'M SORRY, OKAY?

YOU'LL BE SORRIER
WHEN MY BROTHERS

GET HOLD OF YOU!

OW!

OH...

I'LL KNOW YOU WHEN
I SEE YOU AGAIN.

OH, NO...

I'VE SEEN YOUR FACE!

OH!

POTEEN...?

THAT'S STRANGE.

(cork squeaking)

(popping)

OKAY...

(sighing)

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'VE GOT.

TO IRELAND.

(yells)

(coughs)

(grunting)

(hyperventilating)

WHAT IS THIS STUFF MADE OF?

POTATOES,
IGNORAMUS.

POTATOES?

HOW...?

(grunting)

AAH!

(grunting)

(birds singing)

(groaning)

OW.

OH, NOT ANOTHER DROP.

NEVER, NEVER AGAIN.

(snoring)

EH! OH! HEY!

AAH! AAH!

(creaking)

(splashing)

HELP! HELP!

HELP!

HELP!

HANG ON!

I GOT YA!

HANG ON!

AAH!

OHH!

HEY! WAIT UP!

OH, THIS IS JUST GREAT.

COME OUT, WHOEVER YOU ARE.

DON'T MAKE ME
HAVE TO COME IN THERE...

OKAY, I'M COMING IN.

HERE I COME!

I'M COMING IN NOW.

(hinge creaking)

I'M IN.

I KNOW YOU'RE THERE.

I CAN SEE YOU DRIPPING.

(groans)

YOU'RE...

YOU'RE A...

A LEPRECHAUN.

(gasping)

A WET LEPRECHAUN.

(huffing)

LEADER OF THE KERRY LEPRECHAUNS.

SEAMUS MULDOON
AT YOUR WET SERVICE.

Woman: WHAT IN THE
GRAND BANSHEE'S NAME

DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?

YOU'RE BLOWING IT.

I'M TALKING
TO YOUR MAN.

ARE YOU MAD
AS WELL AS STUPID?

I HAVE TO.

HE SAVED ME.

HE SAVED YOU?

GALLANTLY,
I'D HAVE TO SAY...

WITHOUT A THOUGHT FOR HIMSELF.

YOU WERE DRUNK.

OF COURSE I WAS DRUNK.

WHEW!

I HATE WATER!

JUST CALM DOWN, JACK.

(panting)

GET A GRIP.

IT'S JUST JET LAG.

AND YOU LET HIM SAVE YOU?

I DIDN'T ASK HIM, MARY.

HE JUST DID IT.
THAT'S NO EXCUSE.

YOU COULD HAVE HAD
THE DECENCY TO DROWN.

HANGOVER?

BUMP ON THE HEAD?

YOU'RE FINE.

I'M MARY MULDOON.

OH, GIVE ME A BREAK!

SEAMUS' WIFE
FOR MY SINS

OF WHICH THERE MUST
HAVE BEEN HUNDREDS

TO HAVE SUCH
A TERRIBLE FATE.

THEY SAY THAT MARRIED MEN
LIVE LONGER THAN SINGLE ONES.

IT ONLY SEEMS LIKE THAT.

WE'RE IN YOUR DEBT NOW,
MR. WOODS.

YOU ARE?

WHEN A MORTAL SAVES A LEPRECHAUN

THEN THAT LEPRECHAUN
IS IN HIS DEBT

FOREVER
AND A DAY.

WE'RE PRETTY MUCH IMMORTAL

EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO WATER.

(sighs)

IF YOU FALL IN

HMM...

BUT, OF COURSE, YOU SAVED ME.

WELL, HEY... FORGET ABOUT IT.

CAN'T DO THAT.

MUCH AS
I'D LIKE TO.

I'D BETTER GO SIT DOWN.

YOU'RE SOAKING WET.

I'LL GET YOU A TOWEL.

HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME?

YOU CAN GET
PNEUMONIA.

AAH.

OH, UH...

YOU SHOULD MEET MY SON, MICKEY.

MICKEY! SHOW YOURSELF.

HELLO, THERE.

OH, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

MICKEY, THIS IS MR. JACK WOODS.

HELLO, MR. WOODS.

TELL ME SOMETHING:

ARE ANY MORE OF YOU JUST
GOING TO, YOU KNOW... PFFT?

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

THERE'S JUST THE MULDOON
FAMILY HERE AT THE COTTAGE.

COURSE THERE'S
THOUSANDS OF LEPRECHAUNS

AND OTHER SOLITARIES
ALL AROUND THESE PARTS.

ALL FUN-LOVING PEOPLE
FULL OF PEP AND VIGOR.

AND BOOZE, GIVEN
HALF THE CHANCE.

(sighs)

HERE'S YOUR TOWEL, MR. WOODS.

THANKS.

ANYWAY, I'M
OFF OUT, MA.

WHERE ARE
YOU GOING?

OH, JUST TO DO
SOME MISCHIEF.

OH, THAT'S ALL
RIGHT THEN.

CAN YOU LEND US

A COUPLE
OF GOLD ONES, DAD?

OH, YES, YES, YES.
SURE, SURE.

DON'T SQUANDER IT, NOW.

PROMISE ME YOU'LL ONLY SPEND IT
ON DRINK AND WOMEN.

OH, I PROMISE.

BYE, MA.

BYE.

GOOD DAY TO YOU,
MR. WOODS.

AH, AH.

NICE TALKING
TO YOU.

THANKS, DA'.

HE'S A... HE'S A FINE BOY.

AND HIM NOT 200 YEARS OLD YET.

OH, HUH.

(bleating)

Man: SO, THIS MR. WOODS, HE'S
NOT FROM AROUND HERE, THEN?

NO. FROM HIS ACCENT,
I'D SAY HE WAS FROM DUBLIN.

AH, HMM.

OH! EE!

AY!

OH!

WHOA-HEY!

QUICK! QUICK!

GIVE US A DRINK, MICKEY.

THE FLOWERS
MAKE ME THIRSTY.

NO, YOU'RE
ALWAYS THIRSTY.

ACTUALLY, I'M ALWAYS
FALLING OUT OF TREES.

WELL, THAT'S TRUE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
UP THERE, SEAN?

I WAS LOOKING OUT
FOR COUNT GROGAN.

MAY HIS
FAIRY BONES ROT.

I THOUGHT I COULD DROP
IN ON HIM, YOU KNOW

QUIET-LIKE FOR A
LITTLE FLATTERING.

YOU FLATTER HIM QUITE ENOUGH.

AH, YOUR BROTHER TALKS
A GOOD FIGHT, JERICHO.

YEAH, WELL, IF TALKING
WAS ALL IT TOOK

HE'D BE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
OF ALL IRELAND, EH?

AH, IT'S DUNLANG...

THE DULLAHAN!

(neighing)

HOW ARE THINGS
IN MUNSTER

DUNLANG?

TOO PEACEFUL.

STAY AROUND HERE NOW.
WE'LL STIR THINGS UP FOR YOU.

I WOULD, SEAN

BUT THE GRAND BANSHEE HERSELF

HAS FORBIDDEN US FROM FIGHTING.

AH, WE TAKE NO
NOTICE OF THAT.

NONE AT ALL.

AND TODAY'S THE ANNIVERSARY

OF MESELF MEETING
THE EXECUTIONER'S AX

AND I'LL BRIGHTEN UP
THE SLIGO, CELEBRATE.

WELL, YOU'RE LOOKING FINE,
HONEST, DUNLANG.

THANKS, MICK.

I CAN SEE FROM UP HERE

THERE'S A FEW OTHER DULLAHANS
ALREADY ARRIVED.

I'D BEST
BE OFF.

GOOD-BYE, LADS.

AND WHEREVER IT IS,
OUT OF MISCHIEF.

BYE, DUNLANG!

TAKE CARE NOW.

DUNLANG'S
A DOOMY SORT.

HE DOESN'T
ENJOY LIFE.

AH, TO BE SURE.

IT'S NOT EASY
WITH NO HEAD.

THAT'S A FAIR POINT.
I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.

IT'S COUNT GROGAN--

THE FIRST OF THE FAIRY FOOLS!

MOCK ON, MICKEY MULDOON

YOU AND THAT HAIRY MISTAKE,
SEAN DEVINE

MAKE A FINE
RAGGEDY-ARSED PAIR.

CLEAR THE PATHS;
YOU'RE POLLUTING THE GRASS.

AND WHAT IF WE DON'T?

THEN I'LL HAVE
TO MAKE YOU.

YOU AND WHICH PARTICULAR
THOUSAND TROOPING FAIRIES

MIGHT THAT BE?

I'LL FLATTEN YOU
WITHOUT RAISING A SWEAT.

OH, WE ARE TREMBLING
BEFORE SEAN DEVINE--

A POWERFUL MAN
WITH A POWERFUL SET OF EYEBROWS.

OH, DEAR.
OH, DEAR.

(metallic clanking)

SO...

OW!

WHOO!

EASY!

(yelling)

HAVE A LOOK AT THE TIME!

AH, COME ON NOW, GROGAN!

COME ON NOW, CAN'T YOU CATCH
A LITTLE TURNIP CART?!

Grogan:
NEXT TIME, DEVINE, NEXT TIME!

IT COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF
THOSE SLEEPWALKING THINGS.

YOU THINK YOU'RE SLEEPING

BUT YOU'RE REALLY AWAKE.

MAYBE I WORKED TOO HARD.

OH, LOOK.

A NORMAL-SIZE PERSON.

HEY, THERE!

WHAT ARE YOU
HAULING THERE?

TURNIPS?

GOING TO MARKET?

WELL, I, UH, I GOT TO BE GOING.

CAN'T STAND AROUND HERE
ALL DAY TALKING.

HELLO, THERE,
MR. WOODS!

HEY, MR. WOODS.

HOW'S IT GOING NOW?

All:
ALL RIGHT, THEN.

IT'S REALLY
GOOD OF YOU

TO LET US STAY IN
THE COTTAGE, JACK.

OOH, SORRY.

DID I STARTLE YOU?

I'M GOING TO STOP DOING THAT.

AH... WOULD YOU LOOK
AT ALL THIS NATURE.

FAR TOO MUCH OF
IT, ISN'T THERE?

THOSE TROOPING
FAIRIES

HAVE A LOT
TO ANSWER FOR.

"TROOPING FAIRIES"?

OH, THEY'RE
RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS.

I MEAN, WHY
DO THEY HAVE

TO MAKE ALL THESE
LITTLE LEAVES, HUH?

MILLIONS OF TEENY-WEENY
MEAN THINGS.

WHY CAN'T THEY JUST
MAKE A FEW HUGE

GIGANTIC ONES?

THAT WAY, YOU'D HAVE SOMEWHERE
TO GO WHEN IT RAINED.

YEAH.

YOU TRY TELLING THAT
TO A TROOPING FAIRY

(chuckling):
OOH...

ABOUT HALF A BRAIN
BETWEEN THEM.

SO, YOU, UH...
YOU DON'T LIKE THEM?

"LIKE THEM"?

THEY ARE THE NATURAL ENEMY
OF THE LEPRECHAUN

STUCK UP THERE
IN THAT FANCY CASTLE.

ALL OF THEM TOGETHER, HOO.

VERY UNHYGIENIC.

JUST BECAUSE THEY LOOK
AFTER NATURE

AND MAKE A FEW FLOWERS GROW

AND GET THE ODD TREE
THE RIGHT WAY UP

THEY THINK THEY'RE BETTER
THAN THE REST OF US. HA!

IF THEY WERE
ANY FURTHER UP THEMSELVES

THEY'D BE INSIDE OUT.

THAT LEPRECHAUN RIFFRAFF
PELTED YOU WITH TURNIPS?

TURNIPS.

THAT'S WORSE THAN
CAULIFLOWERS.

MUCH WORSE.

WELL, IT COULD HAVE
BEEN OVERRIPE TOMATOES.

IT JUST SHOWS WHAT
THEY'RE CAPABLE OF.

AVOCADOES.

THESE BUNK FAIRIES
MUST BE TAUGHT A LESSON.

WHY DON'T WE JUST
TALK TO THEM?

TOO MUCH TALKING.

TOO HARD.
EXACTLY.

YOU CAN'T CALL THE FAIRIES
TO ARMS, YOUR MAJESTY.

THE GRAND BANSHEE
HAS DECREED

THERE MUST BE
NO MORE FIGHTING.

OH, HER?!

I'M KING HERE,
CHAMBERLAIN.

I DO ALL
THE DECREEING

FROM NOW UNTIL
MICHAELMAS TUESDAY.

YES, OF COURSE,
OF COURSE

AND WHEN EXACTLY IS
MICHAELMAS TUESDAY, SIRE?

WHENEVER I DECIDE.

JOLLY GOOD,
JOLLY GOOD.

WE'LL ALL LOOK FORWARD
TO THAT, THEN.

SHE'S HERE!
SHE'S HERE!

THE GRAND BANSHEE!

BORIC...

I DECREED THAT ALL FIGHTING

BETWEEN TROOPING
AND SOLITARY FAIRIES END.

THERE WAS A BRAWL
THIS AFTERNOON.

WELL, IT WASN'T OUR FAULT.

WELL, IT NEVER IS.

SEAN DEVINE AND MICKEY MULDOON

AND THE OTHER
SOLITARIES

STARTED THE
WHOLE THING.

THEY THREW TURNIPS! HMM.

I KNOW THEY THREW TURNIPS.

I'M ALL-SEEING, REMEMBER?

I ALSO SAW
THAT THE COUNT

AND HIS HOTHEADED FRIENDS
WERE JUST AS RESPONSIBLE

AS MR. MULDOON.

IT WAS A MATTER OF HONOR.

COUNT GROGAN, YOU DEAL
WITH YOUR HONOR, SUCH AS IT IS

IN A PEACEFUL FASHION

FROM NOW ON.

I WILL DEAL WITH
MR. MULDOON AND THE OTHERS

AND I GIVE YOU
FAIR WARNING.

IF THIS WAR DOES NOT STOP

YOU WILL ALL PAY
THE ULTIMATE PRICE

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

THAT'S A VERY
INTERESTING CAMERA

YOU HAVE THERE.

WILL YOU STOP THAT?!

I DID IT AGAIN, DIDN'T I?

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

MAYBE YOU'LL GET
USED TO IT IN TIME.

I DON'T THINK SO.

Seamus: AH, THE OLD
FITZPATRICK PLACE--

HOME OF THE LOVELY

KATHLEEN.

HEY, UH, SHE DOESN'T...
HAVE DARK HAIR

AND FABULOUS GREEN EYES,
BY ANY CHANCE.

OH, YEAH, AND A FIGURE
THAT'D MAKE A MONK CRY.

YEAH. YOU KNOW,
I THINK I SAW HER SWIMMING

DOWN BY THE WATERFALL.

OH, THAT'D BE

KATHLEEN BATHING LIKE A GODDESS.

SOMETIMES THERE'S A BIG
ADVANTAGE OF BEING INVISIBLE.

(chuckling)

(shutter clicking)

(shutter clicking)

(Kathleen laughing)

GET IT. GET IT.

GET IT!

(Kathleen growling)

(dog growling)

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

GET IT, GET IT, GET IT.

GO BURY GEORGE'S
UNDERPANTS! YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

GO BURY IT.

(shutter clicking)

YOU.

(nervous chuckle)

I'M SORRY.
IT'S THE PEEPING TOM!

NO, NO, LOOK... IT'S
THE PEEPING TOM!

LOOK, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW, OKAY?

I WAS JUST...

Man: WAIT TILL I GET
ME HANDS ON YOU!

AW, FORGET IT! WHAT
WAS HE DOING TO YOU?

Man:
GO AFTER HIM!

WAIT TILL I GET
MY HANDS ON YOU!

(all yelling)

JUST HOLD ON!

HOLD IT!

JUST HOLD ON!

(all yelling)

COME BACK!

OKAY, NOW
JUST HOLD ON.

IF THIS IS ABOUT
THE OTHER DAY

I CAN EXPLAIN.

(panting)

I GOT LOST AND...

(chuckling)

WELL, IT'S--

IT'S REALLY KIND OF FUNNY,
ACTUALLY.

YOU SEE,
MY FOOT GOT STUCK AND...

(chuckling)

(men chuckling)

GET HIM.

OH!

DON'T WORRY,
NOW, KATHLEEN.

LEAVE HIM TO ME, HUH?

(screams)

REMEMBER THIS.

YOU CAN ALWAYS GET
THE LAST WORD IF YOU TALK

TO YOURSELF.

THERE BE MUTTERINGS
AGAINST ME IN THE PARISH

THAT I'M TOO OLD.

I'LL NEVER BE TOO OLD--
NOT UNTIL

I'M SIX FEET UNDER.

KATHLEEN FITZPATRICK.

SIT!

AND THAT GOES

FOR YOUR FOUR
MUSCLE-BOUND BROTHERS.

NOW THEN

WHERE WAS I?

OH, YES, SIX FEET UNDER.

(grunts)

(laughing)

AND... JOSEPH SHOUTS
DOWN TO MARY

"WHATEVER YOU DO

"DON'T LET THE CHILD

TOUCH THE WATER."

(snoring)

SO, IN THE WORDS
OF THE GOOD BOOK...

MOHABISMY WATCH POT.

YEA, GO IN PEACE.

THE MASS IS ENDED.

(priest mumbling)

THAT WAS A, UH,
VERY INSPIRING

SERMON, FATHER.

OH, YOU THINK SO?

OH, YES.

OH, THANK YOU, MY SON.

INSPIRING, YOU SAY.

YES.

WHICH PARTICULAR BIT?

SOMETIMES I FORGET
WHAT I'VE SAID.

WELL, PRETTY MUCH
ALL OF IT.

ALL OF IT. OH, GOOD.

GOOD. HEY, WAIT.
LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND.

I DON'T GET
MANY VISITORS THESE DAYS.

I'D BE DELIGHTED.

OH, WELL, GOOD.

RIGHT OVER HERE'S
OUR SIDE ALTAR HERE.

(grunting)

I THOUGHT THE FRONT END
FELT A LITTLE HEAVY.

OH, SORRY, JACK.

SAY, MULDOON, UM, THAT GIRL

UH, YOU KNOW THE-THE ONE
WITH THE, UM...

KATHLEEN.

IS SHE GOING TO BE HERE?
OH, NO DOUBT, JACK. NO DOUBT.

SO THIS, UH

KATHLEEN, HUH?

TAKEN A BIT OF A
FANCY TO HER, HUH?

OH, WELL, NO, I MEAN, I JUST

DON'T WANT HER WALKING AROUND

THINKING I'M SOME KIND
OF A CREEP.

(muttering):
HOW ARE YOU?

THAT'D BE THE ONLY REASON

YOU'RE WEARING
YOUR BEST SHIRT THEN, JACK.

WHAT, THIS?

THIS ISN'T MY BEST SHIRT.

LOOK ALL RIGHT?

OH, VERY CLOSE,
FATHER.

OH, THE LORD'S
ABANDONED ME.

HOW'S IT GOING,
FATHER?

THE WHOLE THING'S RIGGED.

I'M BEING CHEATED.

Seamus:
WHAT'S HE DOING?

HE KNOWS HE CAN'T WIN.

GIVE HIM A HAND
THEN, SEAMUS.

CAN YOU DO THAT?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?

OH, I SAID, UH,
OH, DON'T DO THAT.

LET ME GIVE IT
A TRY, FATHER.

FATHER

THAT'S HIM; THAT'S THE MAN.

AT LEAST LET ME EXPLAIN
WHAT HAPPENED.

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
NO, YOU DON'T.

YOU WERE FOLLOWING
ME... NOT NOW, WOMAN.

HE'S ABOUT TO THROW.

I WANT TO HEAR

ANGELS PASS.

(Seamus grunting)

(sputtering)

IT'S A MIRACLE--

MIRACLE OF THE RINGS.

YOU WIN, FATHER.

OH, THAT'S VERY KIND
OF YOU, MY BOY.

I'LL HAVE THAT
BIG PINK FELLER OVER THERE.

REMINDS ME OF
FATHER DONOVAN.

(chuckling)

HE WAS ALWAYS SEEING
THESE THINGS.

FATHER, THIS MAN HERE IS
THE ONE I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT.

AND YOU'RE MAKING
A SERIOUS ACCUSATION

AGAINST HIM.

NOW THEN, JACK... UH, I CAN
CALL YOU JACK, CAN'T I?

OH, I HOPE SO.

RIGHT. NOW, ARE YOU
A PEEPING TOM AS SHE SAYS?

NOPE.

FAIR ENOUGH.
THERE YOU ARE, KATHLEEN.

YOU'VE GOT
THE WRONG MAN.

I'M AN IMPECCABLE
JUDGE OF CHARACTER.

UH, COME ON, JACK.

LET'S FIND THE BEAR TENT.

I'LL CATCH UP
WITH YOU, FATHER.

EH, RIGHT.

I'M SORRY,
MISS FITZPATRICK, UH...

IT REALLY WAS ALL JUST
A MISUNDERSTANDING.

Man:
THAT'S HIM, KATHLEEN.

Father Daley:
WE'LL HAVE NONE

OF THAT HERE,
GEORGE FITZPATRICK!

(bleating)

KEEP UP NOW, JERICHO!

COME ON! JUST DO
IT WITH YOUR LEGS!

COME ON! COME ON!
GO FASTER!

(yelling)

WHOA, WHOA.

(yelling)
COME ON!

WHOO!

FASTER NOW!

GO FOR THE GATE!

GO FOR THE GATE!

THE WHAT?
GATE?

(bleating)

HERE WE GO!

WHOA!

THE OLD CROCK OF GOLD.

AH, SURE, BUT ANIMALS HAVE
SUCH GOOD SENSE TO DROP US HERE.

AH, THEY DO, DON'T THEY?

HEY, HEY, NOW, WHERE DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE GOING, BROTHER?

IN FOR A DRINK.

NO, NO, NO

YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'RE TOO YOUNG.

I'M 97.

SEE?

NOT EVEN OUT OF
DOUBLE FIGURES.

OH, BARNEY,
NOW, LOOK, LOOK.

LOOK, YOU SEE...

YOU HAVE TO STAY
AND GUARD THE PLACE.

YEAH, TELL US
IF ANY TROOPING FAIRIES

TURN UP.

BE THE GUARD?

IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT JOB.

IS IT?

VITAL.

WE'D BE DEPENDING
ON YOU.

YOU WOULD?

MM-HMM.

ALL RIGHT THEN...

AS LONG AS
I'M IN CHARGE.

OH, YOU ARE.

YOU ARE INDEED.
DON'T WORRY.

I'M IN CHARGE.

SO WHAT MISCHIEF
SHALL WE GET UP TO, LADS?

EH, TURN THE
MILK SOUR?

NO.

FLATTEN THE
WHEAT FIELDS?

NO.

BLOSSOM SHAKING
WILL BE GOOD.

NO.
NO.

I HATE BLOSSOMS.

IT HAS NO RIGHT
TO BE THERE.

IS THAT THE BEST
YOU CAN COME UP WITH?

YES.

WHAT ABOUT WE SNEAK UP
INTO THE GRAND MITZMA BALL

UP AT THE CASTLE?

IT'S THE EVENT OF ALL THE YEAR
FOR ALL THE TROOPING FAIRIES.

AH, GOOD ON YOU, MICKEY.

THERE'S BEAUTIFUL
YOUNG FAIRIES UP THERE

WHO HAVE YET TO BE
INTRODUCED TO THE DELIGHTS

OF A HANDSOME,
VIRILE LEPRECHAUN.

THEN WE CAN CAUSE
A WHOLE HEAP OF TROUBLE.

BUT... THE GRAND BANSHEE
HAS WARNED US

TO STAY OUT OF TROUBLE,
HASN'T SHE?

JERICHO, LEPRECHAUNS
ARE BORN FOR TROUBLE.

WE'RE THE TRUE SPIRIT
OF OLD IRELAND.

WE'VE GOT MORE GET-UP-AND-GO
IN US THAN A HATFUL OF POOKAS.

Both:
DID SOMEONE CALL OUR NAMES?

(cheering)

(Irish jig playing)

BY THE EYEBROWS
OF THE GREAT FARACUS

THIS'LL GET THE BLOOD RACING
AND THE FEET TAPPING

OVER THE HILLS OF GALWAY!

OH, THAT'S
QUITE A PARTY

THEY'RE PUTTING ON
FOR US UP THERE.

Jericho: BUT THERE'S
NO WAY TO GET IN.

OH, WE'LL FIND
A WAY, JERICHO.

WE MIGHT HAVE
A FEW PROBLEMS

PASSING OURSELVES OFF
AS ONE OF THEM.

OH, BARNEY, HURRY!

(indistinct talking)

Man:
HEY!

FOUR AGAINST ONE.

OH, CALAMITY!

OH, LET'S GET HIM.

GOT YOU!

NO, YOU DON'T!

COME BACK HERE.

(punches being delivered)

(laughing)

MY FRIENDS

I BELIEVE WE'VE BEEN
INVITED TO A BALL.

(laughing)

SHH. KEEP IT QUIET.

GET UP HERE, NOW!

LOOK AT THE SIZE
OF THAT THING.

IT'S HUGE!

SHH. BE QUIET,
COME ON.

OH, UP WE GO.

HOLD ON, LADS.

ALL RIGHT, WATCH OUT, WATCH OUT!

HOW COULD YOU
DO THAT?

OH, IT'S A POWERFUL
LONG WAY DOWN THERE.

OH, I HOPE THIS THING
DOESN'T BURST.

YOU'RE RIGHT
THERE, SEAN.

WHAT'S THAT
FUNNY SMELL?

OH, THEY MUST HAVE
BEEN CLEAN.

CLEAN?

YEAH, CLEAN.
IT'S CLEAN.

OH, YOU'LL NOT HAVE COME
ACROSS IT BEFORE.

OH! OH!

OH, COME ON!

STOP MUCKING ABOUT.

I WAS NOT!

THEY MOVED THE GROUND.

SHH.
SHH.

MY INVITATION.

THAT'S MINE AS WELL.

WE'RE ALL TROOPING FAIRIES.

DON'T!

JUST LET ME AT THEM!

I'LL MASSACRE THE LOT.

SILENCE!

JERICHO!

LISTEN, THIS IS NO PLACE
FOR A YOUNG LEPRECHAUN.

YES, IT IS.

NO! YOU'RE TO STAY
HERE AND WAIT.

DO SOME GUARDING.

GUARDING? AGAIN?

IT'S VERY
IMPORTANT.

AM I IN CHARGE
AGAIN?

YOU ARE THE MAN.

THE ONLY MAN.

WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THEN.

AND UNDER
NO CIRCUMSTANCES...

NOT AT ALL.

TAKE OFF

THAT STUPID LEPRECHAUN
MASK, GROVER.

THEY'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE STUPID.

THAT'S THE WHOLE IDEA.

PERFECT FOR A MAD
MIDSUMMER BALL.

YOU WOULD THINK OF
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

YES, I WOULD,
WOULDN'T I?

LOOK AT THE WINGS

ON HER.

AH, NO, POINT,
WAIT!

WHAT?

WATCH AND LEARN
FROM THE MASTER.

AS ONE WHO'S BEEN OUT EAST
AND SEEN A FEW THINGS

MAY I SAY YOU
ARE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.

YOU MAY HAVE THIS DANCE.

(waltz playing)

(fanfare playing)

(screaming)

DON'T YOU PEOPLE EVER KNOCK?

SORRY, JACK.

BUT WE DO LIVE HERE,
TOO, YOU KNOW.

(clearing throat)

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME?

OH, WELL, NOW THAT
YOU MENTION IT...

LADIES FIRST

PLEASE.

OH, ISN'T SHE

A MAGNIFICENT
WOMAN?

SAY, MARY, LOOK AT ALL
THEM GREAT PICTURES.

SOUVENIRS,
ARE THEY, JACK

TO TAKE BACK
WITH YOU?

YEAH, KIND OF.

IN FACT

I'M NOT JUST HERE
FOR A REST.

I'M HERE FOR MY JOB AS WELL.

MUST BE A VERY
IMPORTANT JOB, IS IT

TO TAKE ALL THEM
PICTURES OF THE VALLEY?

YEAH, I GUESS.

SAY, UM... THIS, UH...

KATHLEEN...

WHAT'S HER STORY?

JACK'S TAKEN QUITE
A SHINE TO KATHLEEN.

NOT THAT I COULD
SEE WHY.

WELL, SHE'S PRETTY ENOUGH
IN AN UGLY HUMAN

KIND OF A WAY.

THEY'D MAKE
A FINE COUPLE.

(both giggling)

OKAY, OKAY.

THANK YOU.

Seamus:
OH, JACK!

DON'T TELL HER BROTHERS
ABOUT US.

YOU HEAR ME?

THEY'LL WANT TO CATCH US
FOR OUR POTS OF GOLD.

Jack:
POTS OF GOLD?

LEPRECHAUNS ARE SUPPOSED
TO HAVE POTS OF GOLD

HIDDEN ALL OVER
THE PLACE.

AND WHEN HUMANS
CATCH US

THEY WANT US TO TELL
THEM WHERE THEY'RE HIDDEN.

Mary:
IT'S A FAIRY STORY.

IF WE HAD POTS OF GOLD

YOU THINK WE'D BE
LIVING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?

HA! WE'D BE LIVING
IN A PALACE.

(laughing)

♪ I HAVE ALWAYS ♪

♪ HEARD... ♪

OH, I'M SORRY,
PRINCESS.

I'VE NEVER DANCED
SO BADLY.

OH, SO YOU HAVE DANCED
BEFORE, THEN?

OH, WELL, MY FOX-TROT WAS
ONCE THE TALK OF THE PALACE.

OF COURSE, PLEASE.

A PLEASURE.

HELLO.

♪ ...TO OUR DREAMS ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY... ♪

AND WHAT ARE YOU
STARING AT?

THE FAIREST BEAUTY
THAT EVER STOOD

BEFORE THE EYES
OF A MAN

SINCE HELEN DANCED
HER WILLING WAY

ON THE WONDERING
WORLDS OF TROY.

IT'S ONLY A GIFT OF WORDS THAT
YOU SHOWER ME, BUT I HAVE TO SAY

THAT THEY SHINE.

OH, YOU SHINE,
PRINCESS MINE

YOU SHINE!

♪ ...MY WORLD, MY HOPE ♪

♪ MY GOAL ♪

♪ WE CAN FLY AWAY OVER... ♪

MAY I CUT IN?

♪ ...YOUR LOVE ♪

♪ YOU CAN FLY AWAY
OVER IT ALL... ♪

NICE SET OF EYEBROWS
YOU GOT THERE.

♪ YOU REACHED OUT
AND TOUCHED THE REAL ME ♪

♪ NOW THERE'S NO STORM
BEFORE US ♪

♪ AS STRONG AS THE LOVE
WE BOTH FEEL... ♪

YOU LOOK SO LOVELY
IN THE MOONLIGHT.

TAKE OFF YOUR MASK.

UH, TH-THAT'S NOT
A GOOD IDEA.

ARE YOU FRIGHTENED?

YES. UH... NO. UM...

THEN DO IT.

(sighs)

FOR YOUR SAKE ONLY.

I'LL TURN AWAY.

BUT YOU'RE A LEPRECHAUN.

A REAL ONE.

I AM.

BUT LEPRECHAUNS ARE ALL VILE
AND VILLAINOUS AND VULGAR.

AND TROOPING FAIRIES ARE ALL
SNEERING, SNOBBISH AND SELFISH.

THAT IS NOT TRUE.

WE'RE NOT LIKE THAT.

AND WE'RE NOT ALL VILE
AND VILLAINOUS.

NOW, VULGAR, MAYBE--
AND THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH.

I CAN'T ARGUE THERE.

BUT YOU'RE STILL A LEPRECHAUN.

AND YOU ARE STILL
A TROOPING FAIRY.

DOES IT MAKE
ANY DIFFERENCE?

NO.

HOW DARE YOU!

OH, I DARE.

PRINCESS JESSICA, I DARE.

COME BACK HERE NOW
AND APOLOGIZE.

OH, YOU'RE JOKING.

WELL, YOU'LL HAVE
TO CATCH ME FIRST

AND NO FLYING.

YOU THINK A PRINCESS
CAN'T RUN.

NO.

(Jessica laughing)

WHEN I WAS YOUNG

I NEVER WANTED TO DANCE

BECAUSE I THOUGHT

I HAD TWO LEFT FEET

AND THEN I FOUND OUT
MY FEET WERE FINE.

IT WAS THE TWO LEFT SHOES
THAT WERE BOTHERING ME.

I'M NOT STOPPING YOU

FROM GETTING BACK
TO SOMEONE, AM I?

I WOULDN'T WANT
TO MONOPOLIZE YOU.

AH, NOT AT ALL.

I'M ALL YOURS NOW.

LUCKY ME.

SIRE.

I THINK WE'VE
BEEN INVADED.

BY WHO?

WHOM. BY WHOM.

BY WHOM?

LEPRECHAUNS.

THEY WOULDN'T DARE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THERE
ARE LEPRECHAUNS HERE?

SMELL.

(all sniffing)

IF WE ACCUSE THEM
AND THEY'RE NOT

IT WOULD CAUSE A SCANDAL.

I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.

MEET ME AFTERWARDS.

I CAN'T. IT'S
TOO DANGEROUS.

YOU SHOULDN'T
EVEN BE HERE.

I KNOW.

FRIENDS!

NOBLES!

WE WILL ALL UNMASK
ON THE LAST STROKE OF MIDNIGHT.

OFF WITH THE MASKS,
AND ALL WILL BE REVEALED.

COME ON, COME ON.

YOU HAVE TO GO.

PROMISE ME YOU'LL
SEE ME AGAIN.

GO BEFORE YOU
GET CAUGHT.

YOU MUST PROMISE.
GO.

YOU MUST PROMISE ME.

ALL RIGHT. I
PROMISE. GO.

All:
FIVE...

DO YOU KEEP
YOUR PROMISES?

SIX...

ARE YOU OKAY? LET'S GO.

SEVEN...

EIGHT...

NINE...

TEN...

ELEVEN...

TWELVE!

(cheering)

MICKEY, JERICHO--
WILL YOU BE MUCH LONGER?

I'M POWERFUL HUNGRY

AND I'M NOT SURE WHO I'M
GUARDING AGAINST. WHOOPS.

WHY ARE WE RUNNING?
I COULD TAKE THEM.

YOU DID FINE TURNING
UP AS YOU DID.

I DID?

SAVED THE DAY
BY DISTRACTING THEM.

THAT'S WHY I DID IT

OF COURSE...

WHAT DO WE
DO NOW?

TRY TO REMEMBER HOW TO FLY.

MICKEY.

I-I DON'T KNOW
HOW I'M DOING IT.

I'M SORRY TO BE THE ONE

TO TELL YOU
THIS, MICKEY LAD

BUT YOU'RE IN LOVE.

REALLY?

THAT'S THE SIGN.

IS THAT A FACT?

GRAB HIM BEFORE HE
COMES TO HIS SENSES.

COME ON QUICK. HOLD ON.

HURRY, JERICHO! COME ON, NOW.

QUICK! DOWN THERE!
DOWN THERE!

SHE'S A LOVELY GIRL, NOW.

JUST KEEP IT UP.

JUST KEEP FLYING.

KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT.

THAT'S A VERY ENERGETIC

WAY OF DOING
THE WEEDING, JACK.

SEAMUS.

I'M NOT GARDENING.

I'M PRACTICING MY SWING.

YOUR SWING?

YEAH. YEAH,
MY GOLF SWING.

YOU KNOW,
THIS WHOLE AREA HERE

THIS WOULD MAKE A PERFECT GOLF
COURSE, DON'T YOU THINK?

NO DOUBT,
NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

MIND YOU, I DON'T HAVE

THE SLIGHTEST IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I TELL YOU, A PLACE LIKE THIS

IT WOULD BE
EVERY GOLFER'S DREAM.

I MEAN, YOU GOT THE BEAUTIFUL
COUNTRYSIDE.

YOU GOT THE PRETTY COTTAGE,
A BLISSFUL SUMMER'S DAY.

GOLFERS FROM EVERYWHERE--
NEW YORK, CHICAGO--

THEY'D ALL COME HERE.

ENJOY A RELAXING, FUN-FILLED
HOLIDAY PLAYING GOLF

IN PERFECT
IRISH SURROUNDINGS.

ARE YOU ALL
RIGHT, JACK?

IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?

NO. I'M, I'M OKAY.

(ball clattering
in wheelbarrow)

WHAT TIME DID YOU
GET IN AT LAST NIGHT?

OH, UM...

LATE. I WENT PARTYING.

I WENT UP
TO THE FAIRIES SUMMER BALL.

DID YOU? GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY.

YOU STUCK IT TO THEM.

AH, THEY HATE THAT.

I MET THIS GIRL.

PRINCESS JESSICA.

PRINCESS JESSICA?

KING BORIC'S DAUGHTER?

OH, SHE'S AN ANGEL

WITH A FACE...

OH, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO-- THIS IS IT.

YOU LEAVE HER BE.

I DON'T WANT
THAT SORT OF TROUBLE.

MARY MULDOON,
THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

JACK, W-WILL, WILL YOU TELL HIM
TO LISTEN TO HIS FATHER?

WHY? I NEVER DID.

NEITHER DID I.
THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

SO HE'S TOLD YOU,
HAS HE?

YOU'RE HIS FATHER--
SPEAK TO HIM.

MICKEY MULDOON,
YOU LISTEN TO ME.

YOU STAY AWAY FROM THAT GIRL
OR I'LL DISOWN YOU.

HOW CAN YOU DISOWN ME?
YOU DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

DON'T SPEAK
TO YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT.

WELL, YOU DO.

IT'S EXPECTED. I'M HIS WIFE.

AND DON'T SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT.

DON'T SPEAK
TO HER LIKE THAT.

WHO AM I EXPECTED
TO SPEAK TO LIKE THAT?

DON'T BE SPEAKING
TO ME LIKE THAT.

SHE STARTED SPEAKING
TO ME LIKE THAT.

I TOLD YOU THE SAME THING
LAST YEAR, KATHLEEN.

AND THE YEAR BEFORE.
NO, I'M SORRY.

WHY CAN'T I
BE IN THE RACE?

'CAUSE YOU'RE
A LITTLE LADY.

TOLD YA.
SEE?

YOU CAN'T.

(people laughing)

I'M GOING TO ASK SOMEONE
ELSE TO RIDE FOR ME.

THAT SEEMS FAIR,
DOESN'T IT?

WILL SOMEBODY ELSE
DRIVE FIREFLY FOR ME?

I'LL RIDE
FOR YOU.

OH, IT'S
PEEPING TOM.

JACK. PEEPING JACK,
IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

PEEPING JACK.

THAT'S VERY GOOD.

I WOULDN'T LET YOU
NEAR MY HORSE.

WHY NOT?

I THOUGHT
IT MIGHT MAKE UP

FOR THAT LITTLE...
MISUNDERSTANDING.

ANYWAY, THE TIDE'S
COMING IN

WE SHOULD
START THE RACE.

YOU'RE TOO LATE
NOW ANYWAY.

ALL RIGHT. YOU DRIVE FOR ME.

MY NAME IS JACK, JACK WOODS.

YEAH, I KNOW.

KATHLEEN FITZPATRICK.

I KNOW.

HELLO, KATHLEEN.

SO, HAVE YOU DONE
MUCH TROTTING?

THAT'S WHAT THEY
CALL IT, IS IT?

YOU HAVE DRIVEN A BUGGY BEFORE

HAVEN'T YOU,
MR. WOODS?

YOU SIT IN THE SEAT
AND HANG ONTO THE REINS.

HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

(people shouting)

THE RACE WILL BE ONE
CIRCUIT OF THE TRACK

TO THAT FAR SLAB
AND THEN BACK AGAIN.

AND TRY NOT
TO CHEAT TOO MUCH.

GET READY...

GET SET...

GO!

YAH!

(cheering)

YES! YOU GO ON.

COME ON, FIREFLY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
NEED A HAND.

DON'T WORRY,
MR. WOODS.

THE OLD LEPRECHAUN MAGIC
WILL DO THE TRICK.

GREAT. TELL ME
WHAT TO DO.

GET CLOSER TO THE OTHERS.

THAT'S IT?

THAT'S YOUR ADVICE?

PRETTY MUCH, YES.

THAT SHOULD DO THE TRICK.

WELL, AT THE RISK
OF SOUNDING UNGRATEFUL

THIS IS SOMETHING I WANT
TO DO BY MYSELF.

GO ON, JACK.

GO ON, WIN IT FOR THE LADY.

COME ON, BABY.

COME ON, YOU STUPID DONKEY.

HOLD THE LINE THERE, JOHN.

COME IN, COME IN,
COME IN HERE!

WE HAVE HIM, LADS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

(laughing)

OKAY, IF THAT'S THE WAY
YOU WANT TO PLAY IT.

TIME FOR A LITTLE
FREEWAY MANEUVER.

THIS IS MY EXIT.

JACK...

JACK! JACK! JACK!

COME ON YOU, DOPEY DAN!

COME ON, COME ON, FIREFLY.

JACK! JACK!

JACK!

JACK!

(cheering)

Man:
WELL DONE, MR. WOODS.

YOU DID REALLY
WELL, LAD.

THIS IS A REALLY NICE
GESTURE, MR. WOODS.

CALL ME JACK.

YOU'RE FROM
NEW YORK... JACK?

YEAH.

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

OH, WELL, I... YOU KNOW,
I JUST GUESSED.

WELL, THAT'S WHERE
I LIVE NOW ANYWAY.

I'D LOVE TO GO THERE.

SEE ALL THE SKYSCRAPERS
AND THE STATUE OF LIBERTY

AND THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.

IT'S QUITE SOMETHING,
ALL RIGHT.

I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN
OUT OF IRELAND.

NO?

I COULD THINK OF A LOT
WORSE PLACES TO BE.

OH, DO YOU
LIKE IT HERE?

YEAH, VERY MUCH.

A LOT MORE THAN
I THOUGHT I WOULD.

YEAH.

WELL, WE DON'T GET

TOO MANY TOURISTS,
THANK GOODNESS.

YOU DON'T.

YOU DON'T.

WELL... I'D BETTER BE GOING.

KATHLEEN...

COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

I DON'T KNOW TILL I HEAR IT.

WELL, I'M TAKING SOME PICTURES

OF SOME
OF THE BEAUTY PARTS OF IRELAND

AND I WAS WONDERING,
IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE

YOU COULD SHOW ME AROUND
THE COUNTRYSIDE.

ARE YOU MARRIED?

(chuckles)

NO.

WHY NOT?

WELL, WHY
AREN'T YOU?

BECAUSE I NEVER WANTED TO.

WELL, THERE YOU GO.

(chuckling)

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL SEE YOU HERE
TOMORROW MORNING...

9:00.

SO WHAT DO YOU DO
FOR THIS SPERRY...

SPERRY... WHATCHAMACALLIT?

McGIRK.

SPERRY, SPERRY & McGIRK.

I'M THE EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT
IN CHARGE OF COORDINATION.

SOUNDS IMPRESSIVE.

WELL...

YEAH, IF I CAN PUT TOGETHER

THIS PARTICULAR DEAL

I'M WORKING ON NOW,
THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE

I'LL MAKE SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT.

OF COURSE, THERE'S A LOT OF GUYS
GOING FOR THE SAME POSITION.

THERE'S NO GUARANTEES.

GOT TO COME UP
WITH THE GOODS.

YOU SEE THIS SHELL?

ISN'T THAT JUST BEAUTIFUL?

YEAH.

YEAH, THAT IS BEAUTIFUL.

SMILE.

ARE THESE THINGS CLEAN?

YEAH, OH, YEAH,
THEY'RE CLEAN.

THEY'RE POISONOUS.

BUT THEY'RE CLEAN.

THAT'S VERY FUNNY.

I'M JUST NOT USED
TO EATING ANYTHING

THAT DOESN'T HAVE
A EXPIRATION DATE.

OH, GO ON, JACK.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A WALK
ON THE WILD SIDE?

THOSE ARE GOOD.

YEAH.

THOSE ARE REALLY GOOD.

IT'S BETTER
THAN IN THE STORE.

MM.

OW.

OH, WAIT.

HANG ON.

JUST STAY STILL.

DON'T MOVE.

DON'T MOVE.

STOP PULLING.

HANG ON, HANG ON.

THAT'S IT.

JESSICA'S THE
DAUGHTER OF A KING

WHOSE WORLD SPINS
ON A RIM OF GOLD.

SHE'LL NOT WANT TO LIVE
IN A DUSTY HOLE

FULL OF COLD HILLS
AND LONG ROADS

ONLY FIT
FOR WALKING.

THAT'S FOR THE FUTURE, SEAN.

THIS IS HERE AND NOW.

I DON'T MIND HOW IT GOES
AS LONG AS I GO WITH JESSICA.

NO GOOD WILL COME OF IT.

BUT YOU'RE IN LOVE.

SO YOU WON'T LISTEN TO ME.

LISTEN TO HIM.

RIGHT THERE,
JERRY, ME LAD.

WE'RE ALL JUST TALKING
ABOUT LOVE.

WE OAKSHEES KNOW ALL
ABOUT LOVE, DON'T WE, LADS?

OF COURSE WE DO.

WHO DO YOU LOVE?

WE'RE TREE SPIRITS.
WE LOVE TREES.

DOESN'T COUNT.

TRY AND DO ANYTHING
TO OUR TREES

AND YOU'LL SEE HOW MUCH
WE LOVE THEM.

BUT YOU LEPRECHAUNS
ARE DECENT FELLAS.

YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT TIME
TO STOP AND SHOOT THE LEAVES.

NOT LIKE THEM TROOPERS

WITH ALL THEIR MEASURING
AND BLOSSOM NONSENSE.

THEY WORK TOO HARD.

WORK IS THE DEATH
OF FREEDOM AS WE KNOW IT.

AMEN.

ABSOLUTELY.

Kathleen:
NO, THEY'RE GOOD SOULS, REALLY.

THEY'RE JUST A LITTLE BIT...

THEY'RE OVERPROTECTIVE
SINCE OUR PARENTS DIED.

DO YOU HAVE ANY
FAMILY, JACK?

OH, YEAH.

GOT A FULL SET.

GOT A FATHER WHO RUNS
A CAB COMPANY.

GOT A MOTHER
WHO RUNS MY FATHER.

A COUPLE OF
YOUNGER SISTERS

AND AN OLDER BROTHER.

AND THEY ALL LIVE
IN NEW YORK?

WELL, MY BROTHER DOES.

YEAH, HE'S A LAWYER.

BUT HE'S OKAY.

EVERYBODY ELSE,
THEY LIVE IN ARIZONA.

THAT'S WHERE I'M FROM.

DO YOU MISS THEM?

YEAH... YEAH, I DO.

SO WHY'D YOU LEAVE?

WELL, YOU KNOW, CAREER.

LURE OF THE BIG CITY.

ARE YOU HAPPY THERE?

I'M HAPPY RIGHT HERE.

RIGHT NOW.

WITH YOU.

NOBODY THERE, NOT EVEN
A WHIFF OF A LEPRECHAUN.

HE SAID THAT HE'D
BE HERE THIS EVENING.

THEY SAY A LOT
OF THINGS, DO MEN

ESPECIALLY LEPRECHAUN MEN.

THEY'RE FOND OF SAYING THINGS
THEY DON'T MEAN.

MICKEY MULDOON ISN'T LIKE THAT.

THEN WHERE IS HE?

I'M HERE.
(gasping)

HE MADE MY HEART
GO PIT-A-PAT, PIT-A-PAT.

MINE, TOO.

LADY MARGARET, HE
HAS COME TO SEE ME.

YOU CAN WAIT DOWN HERE.

Margaret: I'VE ONLY BEEN A
LADY IN WAITING FOR 300 YEARS.

I SUPPOSE I SHOULD BE ABLE
TO DO THAT BY NOW.

OH, JESSICA, COME WITH ME
WHERE THE RAIN IS LIGHT

AND THE SUN
IS HOT.

I SHOULDN'T LISTEN

TO YOU, MICKEY, BUT YOUR
WORDS ARE STARS IN MY EARS.

(giggling)

I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT LEPRECHAUNS COULD FLY.

WE CAN'T.

UNLESS WE'RE...
WE'RE IN LOVE

AND YOU CAN'T
LIE TO GRAVITY.

ANYWAY, COME AWAY WITH ME.

I CAN'T.

WE CAN DO ANYTHING.

OH, NO, YOU DON'T.

(shrieks)

LADY MARGARET!

I THOUGHT THAT YOU
WERE MY FRIEND.

I AM, OR I'D HAVE CALLED
THE GUARDS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

THEY'RE ALREADY HERE.

I'LL COME BACK.

Jessica:
MICKEY!

OH, NO.

OAKSHEES!

OAKSHEES! TO ARMS!

TO ARMS!

TROOPERS ARE DAMAGING YOUR TREES
WITH COBWEBS!

(laughing)

(clearing throat)

(jeering)

THANKS, LADS.

(laughing)

I GOT A DATE

WITH A PRINCESS.

DO YOU WANT US
TO COME WITH YOU?

IT COULD BE DANGEROUS.

ON, NO, JERICHO.

I'M NOT LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.

NO NEED,
IT'LL BE LOOKING FOR YOU.

GIVE HER A KISS FOR ME,
MICKEY, M'BOY.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, NOW,
LADS. TAKE CARE.

Sean: I ALMOST KISSED
A TROOPING FAIRY ONCE.

SHE HAD A FINE SET
OF WINGS ON HER.

OH, BARNEY.

DON'T WORRY, LADS.

I GOT THEM
RIGHT WHERE I WANT THEM.

AH, MULDOON, WHAT A COINCIDENCE

FINDING YOU HERE.

I DON'T WANT
ANY TROUBLE, GROGAN.

LET BARNEY GO.

YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TROUBLE,
BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE GOT.

YOU DON'T GET
AWAY THAT EASY.

I'M NOT FIGHTIN'.

OH, YOU'LL FIGHT.

OR YOUR YOUNG FRIEND HERE
HAS DONE

HIS LAST SPELL
AT GUARDING.

IS THAT A FACT?

WELL, I'M HAPPY
TO OBLIGE YOU.

Jericho:
SO AM I.

MY FIGHT IS WITH MULDOON HERE.

OH, WELL,
AS MUCH

AS IT GRIEVES ME TO WATCH

ANOTHER LEPRECHAUN
HAVE ALL THE FUN--

GO FOR IT,
MICKEY ME BOY.

LITTLE MORRIS HERE
IS BEGGING FOR IT.

DON'T CALL ME MORRIS.

WELL, THEN I WON'T.

MORRIS.

(snickering)

AND NEITHER WILL I, MORRIS.

MORRIS, MORRIS, MORRIS.

GIVE HIM A TASTE

OF LEPRECHAUN JUSTICE,
MICKEY, LAD.

I'M NOT FIGHTING,
SEANNIE.

LET HIM GO.

THAT GIRL HAS
UNMANNED YOU.

HE'S A YELLOW-BELLY.

HE HAS COWARD'S LEGS,
LIKE ALL LEPRECHAUNS.

THAT'S IT.

ENOUGH'S ENOUGH.

NO MORE MR.
NICE LEPRECHAUN.

OH, I'LL SHOW YOU

A COWARD'S LEGS AND ARMS.

DON'T DO IT.
IT'S WHAT HE WANTS.

Sean:
HERE'S THE THING.

IT'S WHAT I WANT, TOO.

IF YOU NEED
ANY HELP, SEAN

I'M RIGHT HERE FOR YOU.

GOOD MAN.

(yelling)

SEANNIE, LEAVE HIM BE!

SEAN!

I DON'T FEEL SO WELL.

I FEEL DOOMY SOMEHOW.

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

WE LEPRECHAUNS ARE IMMORTAL.

WELL, IT DOESN'T SEEM SO.

WELL, WHERE'S
THE REST OF ME?

I WARNED YOU'D PAY

THE ULTIMATE PRICE.

I'M TAKING HIM.

NO!

LOOK...

I'M ONLY HALF
THE MAN I WAS.

WE MEANT NO HARM.

I COULD DO WITH A DRINK

OF SOMETHING,
AS LONG AS IT'S WET.

KISS HER FOR ME... MICKEY.

(yelling)

WHAT NEWS OF MICKEY?

THE WORST.

NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

HE'S KILLED
YOUR COUSIN GROGAN.

HE'S KILLED HIM?

BUT FAIRIES DON'T DIE.

THEY DO SOMETIMES.

I MUST SEE MICKEY.

JESSICA, GET PACKED.

WE'RE SENDING YOU AWAY.

WHERE? WHY?

WAR WITH THE
LEPRECHAUNS.

THEY'VE KILLED
OUR BELOVED GROGAN.

IT WAS THAT
MICKEY MULDOON.

WE'RE MAKING SURE
YOU'RE OUT OF THE CLUTCHES

OF THAT MURDEROUS SEDUCER.

COUSIN GROGAN HAD
A VERY BAD TEMPER.

ARE YOU DEFENDING

HIS KILLERS?
NO!

THE CHILD HAS A POINT.

IF WE GO TO WAR,
THE GRAND BANSHEE

WILL MAKE IT
VERY REAL THIS TIME.

IT WOULD BE SENSIBLE TO WAIT
TILL ALL THE FACTS ARE KNOWN.

Boric: I'M NOT
INTERESTED IN SENSIBLE.

JESSICA LEAVES
IN THE MORNING.

Mary: I STILL CAN'T
BELIEVE SEAN'S GONE.

IT'S LIKE WE'VE KNOWN HIM

FOR CENTURIES.

WE HAVE.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO ABOUT IT, MULDOON?

FIGHT!

All:
YEAH!

GRAND BANSHEE
OR NO GRAND BANSHEE.

(exclamations of approval)

HEY, JACK.

SEAMUS

FOR THE FIRST
TIME IN MY LIFE

I AM TRULY, DEEPLY IN LOVE.

THAT RIGHT?

IT'S KATHLEEN.

THAT'S NICE, YEAH.

LOOK AT THIS.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
ANYTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL?

I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT.

YES, YES, IT'S LOVELY.
SHE GAVE IT TO ME.

HUH?

HERE.

AH, NO.

NO, THANKS.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, SEAMUS?

IT'S BEST
YOU DON'T KNOW, JACK.

SOME THINGS ARE STRICTLY

LEPRECHAUN BUSINESS.

AH.

YOU KNOW, IF SHE FINDS
OUT WHY I CAME HERE

SHE WON'T UNDERSTAND.

THAT A FACT?

THE GRAND BANSHEE IS TAKING
ALL THE FUN OUT OF IT.

I WAS ALMOST MARRIED ONCE,
YOU KNOW?

SHE WANTS US TO STOP.

THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

BOSS'S DAUGHTER.

DIDN'T WORK OUT.

A LOT OF, YOU KNOW...

I HOPE WE'RE DOING
THE RIGHT THING.

I TOLD MYSELF, "JACK

MAYBE YOU JUST WEREN'T
MEANT TO BE IN LOVE."

LO AND BEHOLD,
HERE IT IS AGAIN.

GRAND BANSHEE
OR NO GRAND BANSHEE

WE ARE DOING
THE RIGHT THING.

YEAH, SURE YOU ARE.

I CAN'T LET 'EM CHANGE
ANYTHING HERE.

I JUST CAN'T.

IT'D COST ME MY JOB, BUT...

THERE YOU GO.

AH, YES, THERE YOU GO.

YEAH, THERE I GO.

NICE TALKING
TO YOU, JACK.

YEAH, YOU, TOO, SEAMUS.

CLEARED THE AIR.

YEAH, YEAH.

(both gasping)

I'M SORRY,
LADY MARGARET

BUT I'D BE OBLIGED
IF YOU COULD KEEP

AS QUIET AS A MOUSE
ON A PLATTER.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT,
PRINCESS JESSICA?

YES, I'M FINE,
THANK YOU.

YOU HAVE TO GO.

THEY'LL BE LOOKING
FOR YOU.

PLEASE, MICKEY,
BE CAREFUL.

I WILL. I WILL.

WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO?

I'M BEING SENT TO THE
UNDERWATER PALACE.

I'LL COME GET YOU.

YOU WON'T FIND US.

THE PALACE IS
UNDER THE SEA.

IS THERE SOMEONE
THERE, PRINCESS?

NO. ONLY LADY MARGARET.

NOW GO.

I'M GOING.

Seamus:
IT'S TIME WE TAUGHT

THOSE ARROGANT, SNOT-NOSED
TROOPERS A LESSON!

IT IS THAT, YES.

THIS IS OUR CHANCE
TO CRUSH THOSE TROOPERS

ONCE AND FOR ALL!

BY GOD, IT IS!

BREAK OPEN THE BARREL
AND DRINK TO VICTORY.

GOOD MAN, GROCOCH.

DRINKS ARE ON GROCOCH.

HE'S BUYING.

WE'VE ALREADY ACHIEVED
FULL MOBILIZATION.

WHAT ABOUT OUR WORK?

IF WE'RE ALL FIGHTING

THERE'LL BE NO ONE LEFT
TO LOOK AFTER NATURE.

WE'LL HAVE STORMS,
FLOODS, SNOW IN SUMMER.

THE LEAVES WILL WITHER
AND DIE.

Queen Morag: DON'T BE SUCH
A DRAB FAIRY, CHAMBERLAIN.

NATURE CAN TAKE
CARE OF ITSELF.

WE'VE A WAR TO WAGE.

Chamberlain:
WHO'S LEADING THE ARMY?

Morag:
THERE IS ONLY ONE MAN.

GENERAL BULSTRODE REPORTING
FOR DUTY, SIRE.

IT'S NOT A BIG, DARK SECRET.

IT'S NOT ANYTHING
LIKE THAT.

I WANT TO BE HONEST
WITH YOU, KATHLEEN.

NOW, NOW.
WHEN PEOPLE SAY

THEY WANT TO BE
HONEST WITH YOU

IT USUALLY MEANS
THEY HAVEN'T.

WELL, I HAVE BEEN.

I HAVE.

WELL, UP TO A POINT.

BUT I'M NOT EXACTLY

ON A VACATION.

IN FACT, IT'S NOT REALLY

A VACATION AT ALL.

MR. WOODS!

HELLO THERE, KATHLEEN.

I'VE JUST HAD A TELEPHONE
CALL FROM NEW YORK

AND I WAS ASKED
TO GIVE YOU THIS MESSAGE.

THEY SAID IT WAS URGENT.

IT'S THE FIRST TIME
WE'VE HAD SUCH A CALL

AT THE POST OFFICE.

I THOUGHT IT WAS THE BOYS
UP TO THEIR TRICKS.

I PUT IT INTO
AN ENVELOPE

FOR SECURITY.

HE'S TO GET BACK
TO AMERICA RIGHT AWAY

FOR A MEETING.

THEY'VE HEARD NOTHING

FROM HIM FOR DAYS.

SO, WHEN DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE?

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THOSE LEAVES?

AND IT'S THE MIDDLE
OF SUMMER.

WE'D BEST BE GETTING
SOME SHELTER.

COME ON.

THE PONY AND TRAP'S
THIS WAY.

IF I CAN REMEMBER
WHERE I PUT IT.

IT'S LIKE THE SEASONS
HAVE ALL GOT MIXED UP.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I DON'T KNOW

BUT I THINK I KNOW
A MAN WHO DOES.

SEAMUS MULDOON.

WHO?

HE'LL KNOW WHAT'S
GOING ON OUT THERE.

SEAMUS!

HE AND HIS FAMILY,
THEY SHARE THIS COTTAGE.

NOBODY SHARES
A COTTAGE, JACK.

HE'S A LEPRECHAUN.

SEAMUS, ARE
YOU IN HERE?

HE'S A LEPRECHAUN?

WHERE ARE YOU?

YEAH. HEAD OF THE
KERRY LEPRECHAUNS.

YOU KNOW,
SEAMUS MULDOON.

RIGHT. SEAMUS MULDOON,
OF COURSE.

ARE YOU OUT THERE?

WHERE ARE YOU?

JACK, JACK...

SEAMUS, I'D REALLY
APPRECIATE IT

IF YOU COULD
SHOW YOURSELVES.

OH, THERE YOU ARE.

SEAMUS AND MARY MULDOON
AT YOUR SERVICE.

HERE, DRINK SOME OF THIS.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU'RE REAL LEPRECHAUNS?

YOU WON'T FIND ANY REALER.

OF COURSE, WE ONLY SHOW
OURSELVES TO THOSE THAT WE LIKE.

AND WE LIKE YOU,
PRETTY LADY.

YOU'RE A FINE SWIMMER.

IT'S A VERY NICE
STROKE YOU HAVE.

ENOUGH OF THAT.

WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE
WITH THE LEAVES, SEAMUS?

THIS IS LIKE FALL ALREADY.

THERE'S TERRIBLE TROUBLE
IN FAIRY LAND, JACK.

TERRIBLE TROUBLE, YES.

I HAVE TO GO.

VERY NICE TO MEET YOU,
PRETTY LADY.

JACK THERE'S A FINE MAN,
YOU KNOW

FOR A HUMAN.

YOU COULD DO
A LOT WORSE.

YOU COULD DO
A LOT WORSE.

A LOT WORSE.

(waves rolling)

(gulls calling)

(sustained note blowing)

(sustained note blowing)

Jack:
KATHLEEN

I'VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY

ABOUT ANYONE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING
TO HAPPEN BETWEEN US

BUT I JUST KNOW THAT
I CAN'T LEAVE HERE

AN-AND NOT TAKE
YOU WITH ME.

WELL, THEN, STAY.

YOU KNOW, STAY,
AND YOU CAN GET SICK

OF THE SIGHT
OF ME, HMM?

(chuckles)

I CAN'T.

THAT CALL FROM NEW
YORK, THAT'S, UH...

George:
HEY, IT'S THE RACE CHEAT.

FORGET IT, GEORGE.

I INVITED HIM.

BOOTS.

BOOTS.

WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

I'M SORRY, KATHLEEN

BUT... I'M LEAVING
ON THE EVENING TRAIN.

THIS EVENING?

(thunder rumbling)

GOOD RIDDANCE.

GEORGE...

COULD YOU GO, PLEASE?

YOU'RE GOING SOMEWHERE?
CAN I GO WITH YOU?

NOT ME, HIM.

I DON'T WANT TO
GO WITH HIM.

NO ONE ASKED YOU.

OH, RIGHT.

COULD YOU ALL

GO NOW, PLEASE?

(thunder rumbling distantly)

(sighs)

KATHLEEN, I...

(sighs)

I'VE GOT NO CHOICE.

IF I... IF I DON'T GO BACK,
I'M GOING TO LOSE MY JOB.

BUT ARE YOU SO IMPORTANT
TO THEM?

THEY CAN'T EXIST
WITHOUT YOU BEING THERE?

NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT

BUT THERE'S JUST
SOMETHING I HAVE TO...

STOP FROM HAPPENING
OVER THERE.

I CAN EXPLAIN
IT TO YOU

ON THE WAY, BUT...

JUST COME WITH ME.

I CAN'T.

WHY?

UM...

WHY?

I WANT TO, JACK...

I DO...

BUT I-I CAN'T.

George: KATHLEEN, HAVE
YOU GOT MY PUB SHIRT?

YES, IT'S IN THE PRESS,
BESIDE YOUR SOCKS.

(thunder approaching)

I REALLY CAN'T. THEY
NEED ME... AND THIS PLACE

NEEDS RUNNING
AN-AND...

AND IT'S JUST...
IT'S ALL HAPPENING TOO FAST

YOU KNOW, WITH YOU

AN-AND...

THIS...

AND... THE LEPRECHAUNS.

ALFIE'S BEEN USING MY SHIRT
AS HIS BED. I DON'T KNOW...

(distant rooster crowing)

WELL...

IT'S YOUR CALL.

(taps twice on table)

IT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME

YOU'RE JUST TRYING
TO MAKE A BUNCH OF EXCUSES.

(thunder rumbling)

(cow mooing)

(crackling)

(cow mooing)

George: WE ONLY
PAINTED THIS LAST WEEK.

Man:
HOW'D IT HAPPEN?

WHERE'D THE STORM COME FROM?

Man:
I DON'T KNOW.

Man:
WHAT ARE WE GOING

TO DO, KATHLEEN?

HUH?

WHY DOES THE WEATHER
KEEP CHANGING?

(men continue talking)

HALT.

HALT!

HALT!

HALT!

HALT! HALT!

HALT!
HALT!

(distant rumbling)

WHAT'S THAT?

(rumbling approaching)

(rumbling grows louder)

(roaring)

(birds chirping)

HELLO THERE, MR. WOODS.

I THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT NEED

A HAND
WITH YOUR LUGGAGE.

THANKS.

AH, I THOUGHT I MISSED YOU.

BACK HOME, THEN, IS IT?

DID YOU HAVE A
GOOD TIME, THEN?

AH, YOU DID, GOOD.

BACK TO THE
BIG CITY, EH?

THE BIG APPLE.

(chuckles)

(sighs)

AH... DON'T
WORRY, NOW...

THE TRAIN'LL BE HERE
THE MOMENT IT ARRIVES.

(crow cawing)

(yelling)

(yelling continuing)

HERE SHE COMES,
MR. WOODS.

BEST GET READY--
BEAT THE RUSH.

(metal and brakes screeching)

AH, A GLORIOUS DAY FOR THE ARMY
AND FOR ME, AH.

(soldiers yelling)

(mumbling)

(birds chirping)

(yelling continuing)

(in slow motion):
CHARGE!

CHARGE!

SLAUGHTER THEM!

(yelling continuing)

(whistle blowing
over screaming)