Original subtitles

Staaare

It's... It's gone!!

It's... It's gone!

JUMP

M-Mizuhara!

Attention!!

Remember! Neighbors, fair and square!

G-Good morning!

Morning.

Okay, giving a hottie that boomer-ass gift was not smart.

If she's not saying anything, then...!!

There's a chance she hates pickled plums...

Maybe she's not too pleased...

Or even mad?

Thanks for yesterday.

My birthday.

There it is!

Oh, don't mention it!

Blah Blah

I was thinking how you're always giving it your all,

and then I found out that pickled plums alleviate fatigue...

Blah Blah

Well, even I don't know about pickled plums as a b-day present,

Justification time

but I figured a consumable was best, 'cause it wouldn't be a pain to deal with later.

Justification

They were good.

Huh?

They were really good.

The moment everything was rewarded

Mizuhara!

She's such a good gal!

Though it did feel pretty geezer-ish...

Placing it directly on my balcony feels like crossing boundaries,

but I'll let it slide as a gift from a neighbor.

It was probably expensive, though, right?

That Day's Expenses Sumi-chan Rental

Pickled Plums

Oh, nah, it was no big deal.

Ka-ching

It's fine. You don't have to lie to me.

Also, about Ruka-chan...

P.S. Nothing happened with Ruka-chan, I swear!

Stop it. It's too early for this.

B-But...

Fine.

I'll believe you. So give it a rest, will you?

Th-Thank goodness!

So now we're even.

Don't expect a return gift.

O-Of course. You don't have to.

Wants something, deep down

Bye.

I-I was thinking of renting you again soon.

Y'know, to formally celebrate your birthday.

How about next Wednesday night, maybe?

Oh, sorry.

I can't do Wednesday. I've been asked to go drinking with college friends.

Can we do another day?

Oh, uh...

I've got work every other day...

Some other time, then.

Gotta cut costs where you can, right, Business Administration Student?

R-Right...

Bye.

Rent-a-Girlfriend

"Be proud, my man.

Your dick feels the best to you, and thus it is the best dick."

By Kibe Yoshiaki.

Huh? What the heck?

"Booze and Girlfriend"

I appreciate the thought, anyway.

The pleasure all comes from compatibility.

For some people, their right hand is The One.

I should rethink my friendship with this guy.

So?

How was Chizuru-san?

What do you mean?

Don't gimme that!

I'm asking if she's good in bed.

It's been a whole year.

I can't tell him I haven't done her.

P-Pretty good, yeah.

Gah! You lucky bastard!

Welp, time to die.

Why'd you ask if it was gonna get you down?

Sorry, Mizuhara! I ended up debasing you again!

The pickled plums were really good.

The pickled plums were really good.

What do we have next? Corporate theory?

I don't feel up for anything. Answer the roll call for me.

Seriously, why'd you even ask?!

Oh, yeah, Kazuya. Can you make it to the boozer tonight?

Boozer?

Sasa-pai's apparently gotten close to some group lately,

and wants to have a get-together.

Oh, sure, I guess.

Okay, that makes seven.

Kuri, tell Sasa-pai that we'll be bringing a frickin' normie along.

Gotcha.

You're still holding a grudge?

Ahaha

Man, I should've been out on a date with Mizuhara tonight!

Anyway, see you there at 5.

I'll send you the link.

Okay.

Grill'n'Pub Gold Ship

Ghost

Guess it's freshman-welcoming season everywhere.

The girls are all there already.

Cool.

Huh? We're meeting up with girls?

Shut the hell up, you frickin' normie.

We all know you're happy and committed.

You're just here to liven things up.

I didn't say anything...

You're, like, the foil. You frickin' normie.

Always good to have a loser like him in the party.

Just shut up and keep up with us.

Mean!

I'll believe you.

Well, things are looking up with Mizuhara and me.

I can't even think about dating another girl.

Oh, hey, Sasa-pai. Over here.

Hey, Yoko-chan.

The girls are all here.

Huh? Where have I seen her before?

Surprise!

Heya.

Hey.

Sup!

Hey, you didn't tell me there'd be boys...

What is Mizuhara doing here?

What's up? You two know each other?

Oh, uh, it's not like that.

I-I was just thinking, it's the same people we met at the beach.

Hey, you remember us!

I'm Kawanaka.

You've got a good memory, Kazuya.

Too close!

If I act weird here, they'll think something's up!

Th-They don't call me the Memorizer for nothing.

Not funny, man.

How do you two know each other?

After that beach day, we started talking now and then at college.

And we were drinking tonight, so I invited him.

Sounds lewd. Is that what's going on?

Huh? There's nothing lewd about it!

So that's why we've ended up in this mess.

It ain't like that, man. Knock it off.

Seriously!

Four beers for the dudes.

Cool.

We don't get to choose?

And the girls? Can you legally drink?

I'm twenty, so yeah. I'll have a matcha highball.

I'm still nineteen, so non-alcoholic beer for me.

By the way, this girl just turned twenty last week.

So tonight's about getting her her first drink.

Y-Yuki, never mind me!

What, really? Happy birthday to you!

Yeah, really!

Congrats on adulthood.

So you can drink. What'll you have?

G... Grapefruit sour.

Nice, love that barely legal choice.

Ding-dong time! Hit that ding-dong UFO!

You sure love making that joke.

What do I do here?

I took off my coat...

If I say I'm leaving, they'll think something's up.

and sat down...

I took this on that beach trip!

Besides, I can't leave Mizuhara all alone in this war zone. Who knows what'll happen?

Damn, that looks good.

Oh, you're a classic lit major?

Those classes are murder.

SWEAT

Second-year in business administration at Nerima U,

Kuribayashi Shun!

My favorite things are porn star Ume Miharu's dirty, dirty areolas!

Bottoms up, here I go!

Glug Glug Glug

Laugh

Yay!

Yay

Nobody asked!

Nobody asked

Sip Sip

People are getting drunk, I think.

Kill their perception!

Do your best, alcohol!

And Mizuhara?

Hot Umeshu

She's fogging up her glasses!

It's not gonna help much, y'know...

But man, what an incredible disguise, as always.

She's changed her makeup.

She looks so plain, you wouldn't believe her "girlfriend" mode was actually her.

Nobody can figure her out.

You're so quiet, Ichinose-san.

Not particularly, no.

No, really. She's so shy!

A real stick in the mud, too!

Yeah, yeah.

She'd never drink it up with boys unless she was tricked into it.

H-Hey...

And there've never been any signs of blossoming romance.

What? Really?

Sip Sip

She's got around a hundred boyfriends, though.

So, is she a vir—

Shut up!

It's such a shame,

'cause she's so stacked.

Hey!

You're drunk, Yoko!

What's the big deal? Doesn't cost you anything, you know.

The fries with molten cheese look so good...

Oh, the LN I'm reading just got updated.

One, two, three, four...

Ba-dump

Did she just fondle Mizuhara's boo—

Glug Glug

But Chizuru said she had plans last Christmas.

I-I was just meeting my grandma.

Huh? It wasn't a boy?

Shucks.

Huh? "Chizuru"-san?

Oh, so your name's Chizuru?

Uh-oh!

She's got the same name as your girlfriend.

Did you go get your luck purified?

Huh? My luck?

Yeah, did you go?

Did you go get your luck purified?

Way to destroy the convo, dude. How many times are you gonna ask?

And where did that even come from?

Shut up! I'm asking if you got your luck purified!

I did! Two whole years ago!

What? You have a girlfriend?

What's she like?

Yikes! They're not stopping!

Get this. She's drop-dead gorgeous.

I'd never seen a girl that pretty before.

And she's pure and refined.

Classy and real approachable.

Yeah, the kinda gal who makes her man look great.

Truly the ideal girlfriend.

She's way too good for Kazuya.

I dunno what kinda face I should be making!

Huh... Girls like that really exist, huh?

I'm so envious.

G-Gee, thanks.

Come to think of it, didn't you say Chizuru-san's birthday was last week, too?

Huh, wow!

Talk about coincidence!

Did you get her something?

W-Well, yeah.

What'd you get her?

Wh-What does it matter?

It matters, damn it! Die, normie!

Please end already!

Normie, huh... The polar opposite of Chizuru.

I-I guess.

Why are you even drunk, Yuki?

Dunno... The mood, maybe?

But you know what? Chizuru without glasses...

is a real cutie, too!

Wha?!

Huh?

Rent-a-Girlfriend

Alcohol is for adults only!

Her glasses are off...

Meaning she's basically Mizuhara Chizuru now.

Busted! Ichinose's been exposed!

She...

She sure is!

Huh? Minase Suzu?

Are you Minase Suzu?

I keep telling her to switch to contacts.

Do the booze ad thing!

They're all smashed.

Zero vision.

But I can't believe she hid her face. That's so funny.

G-Give them back!

Come on, I was making you look good!

Hold up.

Minase Suzu? No way.

You are...

K... Kibe?!

Kawabe Minami?

He's plastered, too!

I'm so glad they're all dumbasses!

Bwahahah

Canned grapes (Don't try this at home)

But this boozer's just getting started.

Everyone's losing their inhibitions... There's no telling what'll happen!

Oh, well. Can just use your cardigan to wipe

Hey, can I break your glasses?

Boozer chaos! Expect the unexpected!

What? Of course not.

Please! Just the left lens.

That doesn't make it any better.

We gotta get through this somehow!

Bamboo shoot drinking game!

Wha?! What's he trying to start?!

Nice!

Yay!

W-Wait. Calm down.

Bamboo shoot! Bamboo shoot!

Bamboo sprouty!

So forced!

One sprouty!

Instant!

Silence

Two sprouty.

Two...

Flinch

Okay, Chizuru-san overlapped!

Kawanaka and Ichinose are out!

Come on, Chizuru.

Sorry.

Okay, then.

Yuki-chan, Chizuru-chan,

What? A bottoms up call?!

ride that wave!

The girl next to you...

...ride that wave!

Yuki-chan, Yuki-chan...

Cola

Aw, come on.

...ride that wave!

Yuki-chan, Yuki-chan...

...ride that wave!

Chizuru-chan, Chizuru-chan...

...ride that wave!

She's got no choice but to drink...

Chizuru-chan! Chizuru-chan!

Ride that wave!

GULP

Mizuhara...

She's drinking...

Trying not to ruin the mood.

Even though these guys are basically trolling,

she's trying her best!

Sh-She gulped it all down!

Way to go, Chizuru-chan!

Okay, on to the next one!

Get us six more beers!

Gotcha.

Hold it. This tempo isn't good.

If this keeps up, even Mizuhara won't be able to remain in control!

Besides, who makes a newcomer to booze chug their drink?!

Bamboo shoot! Bamboo shoot!

These pieces of trash

Bamboo sprouty!

Screw it. I've got no choice.

One sprouty!

One spro—

Kazuya overlapped!

But he clearly started after me.

You start late and still overlap? How clumsy are you, man?!

Aw, man, I screwed up!

Drink up!

Shit!

Be a man!

Next!

Bamboo shoot! Bamboo shoot!

Bamboo sprouty!

Two sprou... ty.

Two sprouty!

Kazuya again?

Yay!

Quit cramping my style, you oaf!

Right back at ya!

Why always me?

Kazuya-kun's so funny!

Three sprouty!

Three spr—

Okay, Kazuya's out again.

Gah! Why?!

Three in a row!

Just get it over with and drink for the next round, too.

Why?!

Laugh Laugh

I've never seen anyone be so bad at this game!

Kazuya-kun, you're such a klutz.

Fine! I just gotta drink, right?

Kazuya-kun! Kazuya-kun!

Ride that wave!

Kazuya-kun! Kazuya-kun!

Ride that wave!

We'll be heading out, then.

What? Don't go!

We have last trains to catch.

We'll be hitting up another joint.

A cabaret club!

How about you, Kazuya?

A girls bar!

I'm going home.

What? You wet blanket!

I really can't drink any more.

You coming along?

Hey, that's a pole.

Come on, Chizuru!

Yikes. I feel sick.

I was fine a minute ago,

but the booze is getting to me now.

Something similar happened before, didn't it?

I'm always causing Mizuhara so much trouble.

She must be so mad...

Shit... This is bad news.

Ow!

My body's so heavy!

This is not looking good.

Come on, keep it together.

Hey!

Are you okay?!

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Are you sure?!

You're bleeding.

Don't wipe it on your sleeve. It'll leave a stain.

I'm so pathetic!

I couldn't even make it home without Mizuhara's help!

She already went through hell at that boozer,

and here I am making things worse for her again...

I wanna die.

But my body won't move.

Okay.

Give me your key.

I'm fine.

I gotta stop being a nuisance.

Really? Are you sure?

Yeah.

You should go and take a bath or something...

H-Huh?

Was the keyhole always this small?

Wait, why's there more than one?

There.

Th-Thanks.

Sheesh. I'll leave the key here.

Wait, Mizuhara's in my apartment again.

Your place is always such a mess.

The girl I like is in my apartment after a night out drinking.

In a rom-com, this would be the perfect situation!

Damn, she smells nice.

Is that soap?

Crap, I'm always so conscious of Mizuhara

We've got class tomorrow, so I need to sleep

that she even looks pretty to me as Ichinose.

Uh-oh. I've got bigger problems.

I'm back here again...

Hey, are you okay?

I-I'm okay! I'm fine, really!

You should go sleep.

You know I can't leave you like this.

Seriously, I'm fine.

Seriously!

I'm causing problems for her again!

For heaven's sake... You drank too much.

The drinking game stuff was on purpose, right?

Wh-What are you talking about?

I'm actually surprised the rest of them didn't catch on.

You kept losing.

Anyway, you hold your alcohol well, huh?

You're pretty much sober.

Who knows? I can't tell.

Should you really have helped me? Weren't the others nearby?

We split up immediately, so I'm sure it was fine.

Okay, I'm going to go.

Remember, the best way to avoid a hangover is to drink lots of water.

I just thought...

I'm always causing trouble for Mizuhara...

So I should at least look out for Ichinose, even if it kills me.

Ugh! I feel so sick!

Wha? Mizuhara?

D-Don't worry about me!

I'm all stinky and gross.

I'll just keep it within the...

Shut up.

Don't try to bluff your way out of this.

No... wait!

What are you doing? I'll smack you...

So I should at least look out for Ichinose, even if it kills me.

Sheesh.

No booze for you for a while.

Ugh. I wanna die.

Not surprising, after how much you drank.

You're pathetic, Kazu-chin!

Kuri and I actually hit up another place after that, you know.

Where did you go?

I can't say it out loud.

But once I got home, I did a bamboo shoot going off the good memories!

No, it was actually three bamboo shoots!

That's my Kibe! You're an inspiration!

No, just desperation.

Anyway, next time on Rent-a-Girlfriend:

"Ex and...

...Girlfriend."

O sad virgin, caught between two beauties.

"Ex and Girlfriend"

How many shoots are you gonna let off tonight?