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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:04,795 [twinkling music] 2 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:19,194 [twinkling music] 3 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:22,718 - Thank you. - Yeah, no worries. 4 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,556 - And you said it couldn't be done. 5 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,562 - Derek, you ate that green fuzzy thing at the back of the fridge? 6 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:28,564 - No. - I didn't say it couldn't be done, 7 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,555 I said it shouldn't be done. 8 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:34,097 - No, I convinced the boss to have an Open Mic Night on Friday night! 9 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,104 - Oh! But I thought he hated the idea of entertainment. 10 00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:37,966 Something about customers loitering? 11 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,814 - Oh, he did, until I told him that an Open Mic night 12 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:43,740 would increase restaurant traffic by 17 percent 13 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,347 and food consumption by 24 percent. 14 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,349 - Derek, are those real numbers? 15 00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:51,051 - 17 and 24 are obviously real numbers... 16 00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:53,224 that I picked at random. But it was for a good cause. 17 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:56,623 - Oh, so you can play with your band? - Uh, yeah! 18 00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:58,626 Plus, I convinced the boss to let 19 00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:00,528 my girlfriend be the emcee for the night. 20 00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,530 - Ooh, I get to be the emcee? 21 00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:05,732 Okay, now I am loving this idea! 22 00:01:05,865 --> 00:01:07,765 - Okay, then wait till you hear this idea. 23 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,471 D-Rock rocks the house, then the boss hires us as the house band 24 00:01:11,604 --> 00:01:13,474 and then I use my star power 25 00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:16,036 to get you hired as the permanent emcee. 26 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:19,146 - Oh! You are the sweetest rock star boyfriend I have ever gone out with. 27 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,079 - [Flattered]: Sally... 28 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,254 There have been others? 29 00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,753 - Oh, please. 30 00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:27,815 No one compares to you. 31 00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:30,564 And, in case you can't tell, 32 00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:34,760 I want you to know how crazy I am about you. 33 00:01:34,894 --> 00:01:38,004 You're a pretty wonderful guy, Derek Venturi. 34 00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:39,931 - Right back at ya, Sal. 35 00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:43,466 - "Right back at ya"? That's it?! 36 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:46,473 Nothing more that you'd like to add? 37 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,706 - Uh, no thanks. 38 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,582 I'm good. 39 00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:01,021 - ♪♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪ 40 00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,894 ♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪ 41 00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:07,293 ♪ But Mom got married, that's when everything changed ♪ 42 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:09,957 ♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪ 43 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:12,626 ♪ A new school... A new house... ♪ 44 00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:16,335 ♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪ 45 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:20,339 ♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪ 46 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,813 ♪ This is life with Derek ♪ 47 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:26,182 ♪ This is life with Derek ♪ 48 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,652 ♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora ♪ 49 00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:30,651 ♪ Marti and Casey ♪ 50 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:32,993 ♪ Living life with Derek ♪ 51 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,222 ♪ Living life with Derek ♪♪ 52 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,885 - For "too-cool-for-school" types like Derek, 53 00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:40,394 expressing feelings can be difficult. 54 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:43,927 Unless those feelings are feelings of hostility towards me. 55 00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:46,673 Then they flow just fine! 56 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:50,239 - Hey, Dad, are you done burning the chicken yet? We're starving. 57 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,540 - You mean: if I don't bring out the chicken, 58 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,642 my goose will be cooked? [Drum roll] 59 00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:57,544 [Nora laughs] - Eh... 60 00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,477 - Please pass the potatoes. - Here you go. 61 00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,083 - Hey! You can't "pass" the potatoes 62 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:04,545 until you see their grades! Get it? 63 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:08,154 - Yeah, you gotta love those food puns, honey! 64 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:10,158 - Okay, if you guys are done discussing vegetables, 65 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:13,230 I've got some real news. D-Rock is playing their first 66 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:17,129 non-school gig. Open Mic Night at Smellie Nellies. 67 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:20,103 - Who's Mike? - Ah, mic as in microphone. 68 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,043 It's a talent show. 69 00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:24,338 - Finally I'll be able to display my talents on an actual stage. 70 00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:26,510 - You're going to play your armpit trumpet? 71 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:29,939 - No! I'm doing stand-up comedy. - I can tap dance! 72 00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:31,206 - What are you gonna do, Lizzie? - Die from embarrassment. 73 00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,854 - Yeah, get in line. 74 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,850 - So D-Rock is performing Friday? 75 00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,853 Don't you have something to ask me? 76 00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:41,285 - Do you want my mashed cauliflower? - How 'bout: 77 00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:43,721 "Are you free Friday?" 78 00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:45,526 'Cause I'm the lead singer of D-Rock? 79 00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,688 - No, you made one guest appearance 80 00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:51,197 and we've decided to go back to our, uh, manly rockin' roots, 81 00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:53,901 you know, so... you're out. 82 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:56,573 - Really? - Yeah. 83 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:58,743 - Well go ahead and play your "manly" music 84 00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:01,041 'cause I'd rather sing with my new girl group anyway. 85 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,414 - What new girl group? - It's a trio! 86 00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:07,413 Featuring me, myself and I. 87 00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,477 [Laughs] 88 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:12,990 - You know, I would not drink that. 89 00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:15,559 - Why? Derek hock a loogie in it? 90 00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:17,558 - No, no, no! But you see, I don't want you snarfing 91 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,790 on your milk while you're laughing at my jokes! 92 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:24,396 - Oh, so you're, ah, "work- shopping" your material 93 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:27,470 on the comedy master, huh? Go for it. 94 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,700 - Okay. So, a guy goes to a doctor 95 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:33,237 and the doctor says, "You have appendicitis." 96 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,983 The guy says, "Well, I want a second opinion." 97 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,109 So the doctor says, "Okay. You stink too!" 98 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:41,254 [Laughing] - Yes. Yeah! 99 00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:45,021 - Alright, so, guy goes to the doctor and the guy says, 100 00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:46,951 "It hurts when I do this". 101 00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:49,256 So the doctor says, "Well, don't do this!" 102 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:53,159 [Laughing loudly] 103 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,963 Alright, so the guy goes to the doctor and the doctor says... 104 00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:58,155 - ...You again? [Laughing] 105 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,698 - Hey! Who's telling the jokes here? 106 00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:02,173 - You are. 107 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,712 - Right. So, a guy goes to the doctor, right? 108 00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:08,808 And the doctor says, "You're going to live 'til you're 70!" 109 00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:10,811 The guy says, "I'm already 80." 110 00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:12,813 And the doctor says, "You see? I was right!" 111 00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:16,375 [Laughing] 112 00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,376 - Edwin, please, please... No more. 113 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:20,948 I, I wanna drink my milk. 114 00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:23,317 - Thanks, Dad! I'm here all week and, uh, 115 00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,526 don't forget to tip your waitress! 116 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,688 [Laughing] 117 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:38,568 - Yeah! Ah, sweet solo, Ralph. 118 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:41,235 - Excellent guitar riff, D. - Deep bass, Sam. 119 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,014 - Thanks. - Who knew that practicing could pay off? 120 00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:46,353 And what does our biggest fan think? 121 00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:49,719 - Oh, so, you do care how I feel? 122 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,719 - What's wrong? You didn't like my tribute to pizza? 123 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:55,461 - "On my knees with double cheese, pepperoni if you please"? 124 00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:58,218 - It's too cheesy, or...? - No offense, but... 125 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:02,398 I was hoping for a little something more emotional. 126 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:05,898 - Ha! D-Rock doesn't do emotion! We just flat-out rooock. 127 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:09,542 - Yeah, well, maybe your fans want to "flat out" know how you feel, 128 00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:12,509 seeing as your biggest fan told you how she felt yesterday 129 00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:15,578 and all she got was a "right back at ya" and a high five! 130 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,108 - What's she talking about? We didn't play yesterday. 131 00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:20,583 - Probably something Derek did. - I didn't do anything. 132 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,723 - Yeah, and you didn't say anything either! And that's the problem! 133 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:27,020 - Sally! 134 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:30,163 [Mellow bass] 135 00:06:30,289 --> 00:06:32,189 - I don't know what's worse. 136 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,055 That you didn't say what you should have said, or that you don't know what you didn't say! 137 00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:37,504 - Right! Why don't you tell me what I did wrong and then I'll decide? 138 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:39,630 - You hurt my feelings yesterday. 139 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,137 When I told you how I felt and all you said was "right back at ya". 140 00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:47,570 - Hey! You're forgetting about the high five, which was great! 141 00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:49,707 Look, 142 00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:53,952 you know I don't do well with the whole "talking about feelings" thing. 143 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,480 - Okay, well, it's like your music. 144 00:06:57,617 --> 00:07:00,447 You can express your feelings about pizza. 145 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:01,986 - Uh-huh. 146 00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:04,421 - Why don't you just try expressing your feelings about me? 147 00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:07,027 Write me a song! - [Laughing]: No! 148 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,560 That's way too cheesy. - Well, fine. 149 00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:13,396 I guess we're just going to have to sit here until 150 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,603 you can figure out how to tell me how you feel. 151 00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,674 [Clock ticking] [Ding!] 152 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,966 - Ah, yeah, I'm gonna... I'm gonna, I'm gonna write a song. 153 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,708 - Oh, Derek! Really? 154 00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:29,384 - ♪♪ Your smile shows your heart ♪ 155 00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:34,215 ♪ Your eyes share your soul ♪ 156 00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:38,863 ♪ Whenever we're together ♪ 157 00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:42,761 ♪ We're two halves ♪ 158 00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:47,629 ♪ That make a whole ♪♪ 159 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:50,597 - Mmm. That was so beautiful! 160 00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:53,836 - Thanks, Mom. I wrote it when I first fell for Max. 161 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,183 The tune just kinda came to me. 162 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,009 - Oh, gosh! The Open Mic night audience is gonna love it. 163 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,745 - Oh, this is not the song I'm singing for the open mic night. 164 00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,451 It's just way too personal! 165 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,453 - But that's what I love about it. 166 00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:08,245 - Thanks, Mom, but I just kinda wrote it for myself. 167 00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:10,257 So, what you hear doesn't leave this room, okay? 168 00:08:10,389 --> 00:08:12,259 - Okay. - You want to hear it again?! 169 00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:14,461 - Okay. - Okay! 170 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:16,534 - So... [Casey singing] 171 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:19,372 So guy goes to a doctor, right? And the doctor says... 172 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,599 - Can I do my dance now? - That's not what the doctor said. 173 00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:26,235 A guy goes to the doctor, right? And the guys says "Oh, no! 174 00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,442 My ears are ringing. So the doctor says, 175 00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,444 "Well, you better answer 'em." 176 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,476 [Laughing] 177 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:35,212 - Why does this guy go to the doctor so much? 178 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,548 - I think this guy is sick of Edwin's jokes. 179 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,693 - Hey! What is wrong with my jokes? Marti laughed. 180 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,490 - Marti laughs when you say "poopie". 181 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:45,692 - Hee! Hee! "Poopie"! [Sighs] 182 00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:47,685 - Edwin, if you going to tell these jokes at open mic night, 183 00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,997 you're gonna get laughed off stage. And not in a good way. 184 00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:53,929 - Thank you, Lizzie. You've been a very honest audience. 185 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,338 - Marti, aren't you going to show me your dance? 186 00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,970 - I'm afraid you'll be honest with me, too. 187 00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:07,409 - ♪♪ Oh, I like the way you sneeze and your really... 188 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,477 ♪ knobby knees ♪ 189 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:13,085 ♪ Oh, I like the way you smell when you call me on my cell ♪ 190 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:17,622 ♪ Oh, I like the way you laugh and you help me do my math ♪♪ 191 00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:19,627 [Laughing] - Hilarious! 192 00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:22,899 - My song amuses you? - Was it not supposed to? 193 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:25,059 - No! 194 00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:28,967 I'm supposed to write a sappy song about my... 195 00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:31,171 feelings. 196 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,244 - Well, if it makes you feel any better, I mean, 197 00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:35,842 your song is way funnier than my unfunny jokes. 198 00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:37,835 - Oh, it doesn't, so, uh, 199 00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:40,107 unless you can write a sappy song, why don't you get out? 200 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,846 - I could never write one of those, but I heard Casey did. 201 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:46,193 - Ah! - Casey wrote a sappy song? 202 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,119 - Mm-hmm. - Then I need a favour. 203 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,164 - Does this favour involve sneaking, stealing, and/or spying? 204 00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:52,729 - Oh, all of the above. - I'm in. 205 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,560 ♪♪♪ 206 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,728 - Hey, Casey. - Hey! 207 00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:03,596 - What're you doing here? - I'm signing up for Open Mic night. 208 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,636 I'm debuting my new solo act. 209 00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:09,011 - Well, if you need any song-writing tips, you should talk to Derek. 210 00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:11,311 - Talk to Derek? Why? 211 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,314 - Well, it's supposed to be a secret, 212 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,516 but your stepbrother wrote me the most beautiful song. 213 00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,819 - Derek did? 214 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,491 - ♪♪ Your smile shows your heart ♪ 215 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:24,790 ♪ Your eyes share your soul ♪ 216 00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:28,034 ♪ Whenever we're together... ♪ 217 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,330 - [Gasps]: We're two halves that make a whole? 218 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,533 - Oh, so you heard it? Can you believe that Derek wrote that? 219 00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:37,936 - No. I really can't. De-rek! 220 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,110 - Ca-sey! Sa-lly! 221 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:42,579 - How could you steal my song? 222 00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:45,678 - Your song? - I didn't steal your song. 223 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:48,251 - Oh, of course you didn't. You probably had Edwin do it. 224 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,921 - Derek, yes or no, did you write that song for me? 225 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,390 - Sally, I can explain. 226 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,132 - [Laughing]: I think they call that, um... "just desserts"? 227 00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:03,561 Ha! Ha! 228 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,898 - Alright! Who's ready to make some noise? 229 00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:16,238 - Ah, I was thinking maybe we'd make a different kinda noise. 230 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:18,075 - What do you mean different? 231 00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:22,780 - Uh, well, maybe Sally's got a good idea there, you know, 232 00:11:22,915 --> 00:11:25,915 trying something more emotional like a ballad. 233 00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:28,092 - Why would we do that? 234 00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:31,160 - Does this have anything to do with that pie Sally smushed in your face? 235 00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:33,730 - [Laughing]: Sally smushed a pie in your face? 236 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,899 - Yeah. - What kind was it? 237 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,858 - What's the difference? - Well, if it was something 238 00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:40,597 fluffy like lemon meringue, it's really no big deal, 239 00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:43,073 but if it was something like apple? 240 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,542 - Ooh! - You got problems. 241 00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:47,911 - Hey, c'mon, guys. I got a situation here! 242 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,910 Can you just help me out? 243 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,552 - You really think that the band best known for its food tributes 244 00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:54,778 can write a ballad? - Yeah! 245 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:56,724 I mean, how hard can it be? 246 00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:59,449 Why is this so hard?! 247 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:02,715 Okay, we have been at this for an hour and all we've got is 248 00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:05,215 "Baby, baby, baby" 249 00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:09,157 - I thought it was gold. - We were better off writing about what we know. 250 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:13,065 Like pizza. - Pizza. 251 00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:16,699 Good idea. Let's go get some. - Wait, wait, wait! 252 00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:20,866 No! You guys can't leave! I mean, we haven't finished, or even started! 253 00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:23,176 - Dude, sometimes you just gotta give up. 254 00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:25,479 You taught us that. - Yep. 255 00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:29,951 - Yeah, but I'm the D in D-Rock and D says we stay and keep working. 256 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,082 - Dude, you can't tell us what to do. 257 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:34,688 - Yeah, who do you think you are? My girlfriend? - No! 258 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:37,620 But, hey, think of all the presents you can buy your girlfriend 259 00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:40,326 if we write a ballad and become the house band. 260 00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:44,199 - No, Amanda already has the best present: dating me! 261 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:48,030 Oh, and that bagel slicer I got her for her birthday. That was sweet. 262 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:52,037 - All this talk about pizza and bagels is making me hungry. 263 00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:55,141 - Do you wanna go to Amanda's and slice us up some pizza bagels? 264 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:59,854 - Let's do it up. - No, no! Guys, if you walk out that door, D-Rock is done. 265 00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:03,479 - Like dinner? - Like dinner? I love dinner! 266 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,146 - Guys? - Later, bro. - Yeah, later. 267 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:09,815 [Knocking on door] - Well, if it isn't my favourite plagiarist. 268 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,355 So, you apologize to Sally yet? 269 00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:15,591 - Hey, she's the one who should apologize. - For what? 270 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:19,668 - Uh, for wasting perfectly good pie? - Ugh! 271 00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:23,198 - And you should apologize too. And then, get to work. 272 00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:27,205 - I should apologize? To who? And get to work why? 273 00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:29,379 - Uh, well, you need to help me write a new sensitive song 274 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:32,848 because you insensitively told her that I didn't write that other song, 275 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:35,478 and for that? You should apologize. 276 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,920 Okay, I need your help to write a song 277 00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:44,863 because I don't speak... 'girl'! 278 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,030 - Derek. 279 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,900 I'm not writing a song about your feelings. 280 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,230 But obviously Sally means a lot to you, 281 00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:55,765 so for her sake, I will help you write your own song. 282 00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:58,141 - Ah... But I've got a better idea: 283 00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:01,910 you write the song and then forget about the apology. 284 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:05,081 - Ahh! 285 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,651 - It is not uncommon for the adult bird 286 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,550 to make as many as 500... - You're watching a documentary? 287 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,593 - Yes. For I am a serious man who cares not for jokes. 288 00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:17,119 - Since when? - Since I tried my material out on Michelle, okay! 289 00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:19,586 My own girlfriend wouldn't even laugh at me! 290 00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:23,025 It's all because your mean comments about my jokes de-funnied me! 291 00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,262 - So, I'm the problem, not the jokes? 292 00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:27,967 - Yes. [Door opening] - Hi, guys! 293 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,240 - Dad thought my jokes were hilarious! Tell her, Dad! 294 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:32,869 - Oh, yeah! This guy? 295 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:36,635 Yeah, this is the guy. This is the guy with the doctor, doctor and the funny, funny. 296 00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:40,545 Ha, ha! Yeah-- you slay me! Ha, ha, ha, ha! 297 00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:42,649 - You don't like my jokes! 298 00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:46,391 - Ah, well, your jokes are just a little old-fashioned. 299 00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:50,288 - You know, this whole time, alright, I... I'm going around thinking that I'm this... 300 00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:53,062 I'm this smart, good-looking, hilarious dude 301 00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:55,432 and... and now I find out I'm only 2 of 3? 302 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,561 Guess I'm just going to have to get used to being unfunny. 303 00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:00,567 Hey, how do you deal with it, Dad? 304 00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:02,999 - Well, I ju-- hey! 305 00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:05,235 I'm funny! Right, Nora? 306 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:07,711 - Yeah, sure! You're very funny. 307 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:12,180 Your puns are very... punny! 308 00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:14,581 - Hurts, doesn't it, Dad? 309 00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:16,983 - Well, if my puns aren't funny, then why do you laugh? 310 00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:21,146 - Because I don't want to hurt your feelings. - Oh! Oh, well, well, listen, 311 00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:23,087 I mean, you don't have to humour me anymore, 312 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:26,062 because the jokes stop here! 313 00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:31,097 [Laughing] 314 00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:36,638 Oh, so that's funny? - No, of course not. 315 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:40,139 - 'Cause I think I fell on the eggs. - George, stop! Wait! 316 00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:43,342 Come on, George! Don't be so sensitive. - Now that is funny. 317 00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:47,075 - I wouldn't know. - Edwin, you are funny. 318 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:50,982 You have great delivery, and timing, and if I was a doctor, I'd love your jokes. 319 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,586 But maybe you should write your own material. 320 00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:57,519 You know, tell jokes about stuff you know. - Like this family? 321 00:15:57,656 --> 00:16:00,986 - Sounds funny to me, but lay off the 'Lizzie' jokes, okay? 322 00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,796 - No promises! 323 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,628 - Face it, I can't write a heartfelt song 324 00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:10,466 because I'm totally heartless! - Derek, I think the reason 325 00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:12,842 you can't do this is because you're doing something you shouldn't be doing. 326 00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:16,411 - Working with you? - Thinking. It's never worked for you. 327 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:21,552 - Huh? - So stop thinking and start feeling. Close your eyes 328 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:25,150 and think about your feelings toward Sally. I'll write down how you feel. 329 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:27,354 - I feel... 330 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,456 totally ridiculous! 331 00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,733 Hey, can you just write me a song? 332 00:16:33,859 --> 00:16:35,759 I will pay you. 333 00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:38,364 - Derek, if you don't express your feelings somehow, 334 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:41,327 Sally is never going to forgive you. I thought you cared about her! 335 00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:45,467 - Of course I care about her! - Well, then tell me how she makes you feel! 336 00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:49,174 - I don't know! All I know is, you know, 337 00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:53,248 when she comes to my hockey games, I play harder, when we watch a movie, I laugh louder, 338 00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:57,579 when we eat pizza, I mean, it tastes... better! 339 00:16:57,716 --> 00:17:00,486 - Keep going. - Keep going where? 340 00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:02,859 - You've just started writing your song. 341 00:17:08,927 --> 00:17:14,027 [Plays hard rock] 342 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:20,272 - The sun is bright. But on me it rains. 343 00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:23,906 The coffee spills. And on me it stains. 344 00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:27,112 You stub your toe. I feel your pain. 345 00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:30,146 [Polite applause] 346 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,551 - Now there goes someone who's not afraid 347 00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:38,556 to express themselves. Our next performer 348 00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:41,030 is a Venturi that I actually like. 349 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,960 The comedy stylings of Edwin! - Ehhh! 350 00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:47,897 [Applause] - Hello, everybody. 351 00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:50,403 It is great to... 352 00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:53,967 - Why is he staring at us? 353 00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:56,006 - I think he has stage fright. 354 00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:58,511 [Heart pounding] 355 00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,954 - I'd go up and help him, but I'm not funny either. 356 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,050 - Tell us some funny stories! - Lizzie, it's not polite to heckle. 357 00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:08,694 - Like about your family! - That is some very specific heckling. 358 00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:11,761 - My family? Uh... Okay, Um... 359 00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:13,860 - Tell the raisin story! 360 00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:18,062 - Okay, the raisin story. Ah, well, there's this time, Marti, 361 00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:20,197 she tried to put a raisin up her nose 362 00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:23,842 to see if it would fit, ah, but it got stuck. 363 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,571 Then to calm her down, and, uh, show her 364 00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:33,247 that it wasn't worth going to the emergency room over, my dad 365 00:18:33,378 --> 00:18:36,718 stuck a cherry pit in his nose. [Laughter] 366 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,719 Except, that got stuck too. 367 00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,791 Ah, then, my step-mom Nora, 368 00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:45,089 she comes home and she sees my dad and my sister, ah, with their fingers up their noses 369 00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:48,394 and, well, she rolls up her sleeves and digs in. 370 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:51,227 [Laughter] Guys, the moral of the story is: 371 00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:53,903 you cannot pick your families 372 00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:56,172 but you can pick your family's noses. 373 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,641 [Laughter and applause] 374 00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:07,376 You know my brother Derek, well, he's got a-- - Okay, thank you, Edwin. 375 00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:10,553 That was hilarious! - Ah! 376 00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:14,522 - But we really need to move on to our next act, which happens to be another Venturi! 377 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:18,723 - Finally! - Wait! - Oh, brother. 378 00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:23,356 - Okay. 379 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:26,695 Well, it seems that a third Venturi has something to perform for you 380 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,802 and it was going to be 'D-Rock'-- 381 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:32,374 - Still is D-Rock, right? - Right. Thanks, guys. 382 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:35,714 - Let's do it. - Let's rock this place! - Okay, I now present to you 383 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:39,041 D-Rock! [Cheers and applause] 384 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:42,008 - Ah, wait! 385 00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:44,977 Uh, I... I... I can't do this. 386 00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:48,087 This song's so embarrassing. You've gotta sing it. Please! - What? 387 00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:51,420 - Please. - Oh, Derek! 388 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:55,887 Sally, I'm singing the song for Derek now. - Correction: that's 'C-D Rock'. 389 00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:03,942 - This is a new song my stepbrother wrote for someone 390 00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:07,139 he really cares about a lot. But I'm singing it, 391 00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:10,382 because I have a way better voice. - Alright! 392 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:13,652 ♪♪♪ 393 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:16,779 - ♪♪ I'm laughing longer - And I blame you ♪ 394 00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:20,285 - ♪ I'm smiling stronger - And I blame you ♪ 395 00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:23,259 - ♪ All problems seem slight now - And I blame you ♪ 396 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,358 - ♪ Everything seems bright now - And I blame you ♪ 397 00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:30,001 - ♪ For the first time I truly feel - And I blame you ♪ 398 00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:32,858 - ♪ That this is really real - And I blame you ♪ 399 00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:35,768 - ♪ Don't ever wanna be far apart - And I blame you ♪ 400 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,871 - ♪ 'Cause you're the one who stole my heart - And I blame you ♪ 401 00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:42,244 ♪ And I blame you And I blame you ♪ 402 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:46,477 ♪ Oh yeah, it's true ♪♪ 403 00:20:46,612 --> 00:20:50,582 [Cheers and applause] 404 00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:54,588 - Rock 'n roll! 405 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,088 - Thank you, C-D Rock, 406 00:20:59,224 --> 00:21:01,534 for such an amazing song. 407 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:05,030 It really meant a lot to me. 408 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:07,473 [Crowd goes "Aww"] 409 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:10,639 [Whooping] 410 00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:16,882 - And last but not least, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you 411 00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:19,279 'Tap-dancing Marti!' 412 00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:22,181 - Marti. You're on! - Yay! 413 00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:24,184 [Applause] 414 00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:28,386 - I didn't know Marti could tap dance. - Neither did I. 415 00:21:28,553 --> 00:21:31,663 ♪♪♪ 416 00:21:47,205 --> 00:21:49,675 [Cheers and whoops] 417 00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:12,596 Closed Captioning by SETTE inc. 418 00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:15,198 - I'm the man! 419 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:18,944 - It's not that funny! 420 00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:23,111 - I can't go in. I can't go in there! 421 00:22:23,241 --> 00:22:26,011 - Yeah, like the cooked goose at dinner-- 422 00:22:26,144 --> 00:22:29,054 Ha, ha, ha! 423 00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:39,188 - "The jokes stop here." And then, bam, 424 00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:41,334 he falls flat on his face! 425 00:22:41,384 --> 00:22:45,934 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34670

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