Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- Hi! Signing up for cheerleading?

- Hey, Casey, wanna go grab lunch?

- Sure, Max! Right after I see what the big deal is over there.

- Probably just some pep rally for the football team. Forget about it.

- Well you're the quarterback and I love pep! Let's go check it out.

Come on! - Surprise!

It's our uh... anniversary.

So I got you, ah...

This?

- A pen? - Yeah!

Four months is the, ah...

"penniversary". - But it hasn't been four months.

- It sure feels like it has. In a good way.

- Max, why are you acting all squirrely?

- Tell me you're not here to sign up for cheerleading?

- Oh! So that's what this is!

- Don't worry, Amy. She's not.

- And why am I not? Cuz your ex- girlfriend Amy's a cheerleader?

- Head cheerleader! And, c'mon Case, this is not your thing.

- What? You don't think I have what it takes to be a cheerleader?

- No, no, no! It's just really competitive. - Competitive? Hm!

Well, so am I! [Bell ringing]

- Oh... perfect.

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

e very best in people. But...

When the competitive spirit gets mean-spirited?

Things can get ugly.

- [Nora]: Edwin may I have the, ah, vinegar?

- So Edwin is trying out for the hockey team tomorrow.

- Go Edwin go!

- How cool! And I am trying out for the cheerleading squad.

- Go Casey go!

- Uh, what now?

- [Nora]: I didn't know you were interested in cheerleading. - Ah, well she is very perky.

- Thank you! And I'm already at all the football games cuz of Max

and it's the closest thing to dance at our school.

- Hey, I used to be a cheerleader. I could show you some moves!

- You never showed me any of your moves. - Ew!

- My stepmom and my stepsister cheerleading?

Thanks for ruining the best spectator sport ever.

♪♪♪

- [Derek]: Dude, this is going to be classic.

- Totally. It's like picking a dish from a girl buffet.

- No! No shopping today Ralph.

I am here to laugh at Casey.

- But I thought you were looking for a cheerleader to help you get over that whole Sally thing.

- Dude, what Sally thing? There is no Sally thing.

- That's why you need to get over it!

- Maybe I shouldn't be here.

- I agree. Let's go. - Em!

You're supposed to encourage me. - To be a cheerleader?

Whoa, isn't that...?

- Max's ex, Amy? Yeah, I know.

She's the head cheerleader.

- You're walking into the lion's den, why?

- Em, they broke up months ago.

I'm just another girl trying out, not her ex's new girlfriend.

- You just keep believing that. - Okay, everybody, let's get this started.

First up we have Casey McDonald.

♪♪♪

- That was... - Heinous.

You didn't even do one cheer. - Oh.

- This is cheerleading, not ballet.

♪♪♪ Girls? Show her how it's done.

- Hey, don't worry about it!

♪♪♪

- Ooh hoo! That's awesome!

Good job girls. ♪♪♪

- I'm no expert but I thought Casey was pretty good, eh?

♪♪♪

Derek? - Wha...?

Didn't notice.

- So how'd the tryouts go? - Terribly. Amy humiliated me.

- I told you cheerleading's really competitive. That's why Amy's so good at it.

- So I should just avoid her? Let her intimidate me?

Well I can be bigger than that.

I just don't get why she has it in for me.

- Amy thinks you're the reason she and I aren't still going out.

- What? That's ridiculous. You guys were already broken up when we started going out.

- I know, it's just she wanted to get back together and I didn't cuz of you.

- Well no need to worry about your old girlfriend

and your new girlfriend cheerleading together.

I tanked the audition. - Yes!

I mean... harsh.

- Thanks a lot.

- So what line are you gonna use?

- Uh... nice shoes.

- Nice!

Cuz I thought your confidence might've been shot

after Sally shot you down.

- Thanks.

Amy, right?

- You must be the infamous Derek.

- Hey, you can't believe everything you hear. - That's too bad.

I was hoping I could.

Call me.

- I will.

- So the 'nice shoes' line worked huh?

You mind if I use it?

- It's all yours, buddy.

- Yes!

Nice shoes.

- Hey! You rock the hockey tryouts or what?

- Some twelve-sandwich-eating- six-foot-five...

uni-browed-Sasquatch beat me out for the goalie position.

- Look, look, Edwin, hockey isn't the only sport. Try out for another team.

- Yeah! Come on, we Venturis don't give up.

- You're right.

This is just a temporary setback. - Yeah.

- I can make another team. I am a Venturi after all!

- Yeah! - Hockey's lame, anyway.

- [George]: Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on, Edwin! - Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey!

- Sorry, sorry! Well, hey, you guys think I should go for wrestling tryouts tomorrow?

- You? Wrestling?

Ah, yeah, sure! Why not?

- Dad, do you think you could help me practice?

- Yeah! Yeah! Sure! Why not?

- Sweet. I'm gonna go get changed.

- You do realize this kid doesn't stand a chance?

- Sure he does. Why not?

Probably. Maybe.

No, not at all.

Hey! How did cheerleading tryouts go?

- Terribly. The high point of my day was Ralph complimenting me on my shoes.

♪♪♪

[Applause & cheering]

♪♪♪ - Stare in horror at the menace that is...

Sir Stinks-a-lot!

I knock out people by making them smell...

My gym socks. - Oh, Edwin!

Greco-Roman wrestling is different from the kind on TV.

It's less theatrics. It's more skill.

- Gotcha. So..

You think you can show me the flying crack back?

- No, no, I can't. But I can, ah, you know...

I can teach you some of the basics cuz, ah, I used to wrestle in high school.

Now, the key to mastering wrestling is leverage, huh?

Leverage. Let me show you this move, huh?

- Okay. - [Cracking]: Let's... Oh!

[Bones popping]: Oh!

- Dad, what's that move called? - It's called the 'pinched nerve'.

Edwin, help me sit down.

Ah! Ow! - Okay. 'Kay, 'kay, alright! Ba... easy.

- Why do you want to be a cheerleader anyway?

Blowing the audition was a good thing.

- Public humiliation is a good thing?

Tell me, Em, when you lost your mind, was it gradual or all at once?

- If you had made the team, you would have been surrounded by

fluffy, gum-chewing, pom-pom queens

who'd want to take control of your mind and turn you into one of them.

- You know what, Em? You're right.

What do I have in common with those airheads? Crystal!

- Hey Casey. I wanted to talk to you after tryouts, but I had to race home to study.

- Really?

- Listen, the team thought you were great. - Really?

- A little unconventional,

but totally amazing! We want you on the team.

- Ahhhh! - Ahhhh!

- Um... Yeah?

[Giggling] - Woo!

- Woo! Woo!

- Now you may all think you're on the team, but you're not.

Yet.

There are 7 of you here and only 5 spots.

Two of you are going home.

- What Amy is trying to say

is make practices and work hard, or we'll have to cut you.

- And why don't we start with... Casey.

You wanna show us the basic routines?

- Um, but I just got them this morning. I haven't had a chance to memorize--

- Strike one. Always come prepared. You'll have to sit out today.

- What? That's totally unfair!

- You know, strangely enough, whining isn't one of our cheers.

- [Derek]: I thought you had wrestling tryouts.

- Oh, yeah. I did.

And I got pinned in 3 seconds.

Not even my gym socks could save me.

- You'll find a team that wants you, Edwin.

- But there aren't any teams left.

- Edwin, Edwin! These things happen. I mean, look at Casey.

She blew her cheerleading tryouts.

- Actually I made the first cut. - [Derek]: Really.

- Thanks anyway, Dad. - Ooh!

- Well, if it makes him feel any better, I probably won't make the second cut

cuz the head cheerleader totally has it in for me.

- Oh, what a coincidence!

I'm dating the head cheerleader.

♪♪♪

- Easy, easy! - Whaaaa... Ow! oooh!

- You okay? You okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sp...

Oh, Edwin, could you dip me a carrot?

- Ah, that's the one sporting activity I can do.

- Hey guys! Guess who got a hat trick at soccer this evening?

- Oh, at least someone's living up to the family name.

- Sorry, Edwin. Didn't mean to rub it in. Well, I gotta go change.

- Edwin. I hope I wasn't putting too much pressure on you to, to make a school team.

I mean you've got other talents besides sports.

- Ha! Name one. - Well...

You've got a great sense of humour. You're a really good dancer!

- Ah, a funny dancer. That'll come in handy! [Chuckling]

- One, two, three, four

and five and six and seven and eight...

You don't want me to practice? Take it up with your girlfriend. - Hm?

- Oh, you know, Amy? The girl you're only dating to annoy me.

- Uh, no, I'm only dating her because she's on the list.

- The wha? - The list of girls I'd like to date.

Super model, French chick, cheerleader...

- Could you be any more shallow?

- This coming from a cheerleader. Go Casey!

- Ah, I'm not a cheerleader... yet.

But what's more interesting is why Amy's dating you.

- Oh, because she has good taste. - No! To torment me.

I just don't get how you could date that...

- I just can't believe you're gonna practice your routine

without my boom box.

♪♪♪

- Well, I hope you and... are really happy together!

- Thanks!

♪♪♪

- [Both]: Aaaah!!!

- Edwin! What are you doing here?

- Sorry. I fell asleep after I was finished feeling sorry for myself.

- Ed, so what if sports aren't your thing?

- Yeah. - Listen, you mind if I practice?

I have to nail this cheerleading routine.

- Yeah. Knock yourself out.

Scootboot updown double lock, bus stop? You guys doin' any drops?

I took hip-hop.

- You? - It was just a phase and don't tell Derek.

♪♪♪

Okay stop, stop.

You're off beat, you gotta sharpen and tighten up your turns.

- Hey! Wan... wanna work on the rest?

- Sure. ♪♪♪

- Oh, and Derek also told me about this time when she was trying to blow out the candles

on her birthday cake and Klutzilla burned both her eyebrows off.

Oh, hi Casey! Didn't know you were there.

- Well I am. And Derek lied!

I never burned my eyebrows.

It was my eyelashes. And they grew back!

- Those are real? Ah, you coulda fooled me!

- Somethin' you need to talk about?

- Yeah, cheerleading.

- Oooh! I don't really... - It's the captain, Amy.

She's been giving me all this attitude.

- Any idea why? - Well, she went out with Max before me

and she blames me cuz they broke up.

- So she's a little competitive?

- That is an understatement.

She's trying to squash me and she's doing a pretty good job so far.

- Okay, so what are you gonna do about it? - Squash back?

- Be careful, you see, because obviously Amy feels a little threatened.

- But I'm not threatening her. She's threatening me. Aren't you listening?

- Well, you are dating her ex

and now you're challenging her on her cheerleading turf.

- Well, Max said she was competitive.

- Ah, I guess he likes competitive girls! Ha!

- I am nothing like Amy!

Am I? ♪♪♪

- Alright, girls. Time to show me what you've got.

First up, Casey.

♪♪♪

- That was incredible. I loved the ending.

What was that? - Something I learned last night.

- You were supposed to learn the routine I gave you. - I did. I just embellished it.

- If by embellish you mean you made it better!

- What? - C'mon, Amy, we all saw it.

- Oh, and I suppose everyone thinks Casey's routine is better?

- Kinda. - Mm hm.

- Great. Well Casey can lead the pep rally. I quit.

- What? ♪♪♪

- I can't believe Casey! Her lame attitude,

her lame dancing, her lame... hair.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah! Ah, Casey's lame.

Tell me something I don't know. - Can you believe she turned my own squad against me?

- Yes! Movie tonight? - Well, we'll see how the pep rally goes without me.

It'll be a complete disaster and it'll all be Casey's fault.

- Well, most things are.

So, let's talk about something else.

- Kind of hard when she's plotting to ruin my life!

- 'Kay, Casey's not the plotting type, more like the annoying type.

- Are you defending her? - No, but can we talk about something else?

- Course we can, I'm sorry!

I can't wait to see the look on Casey's face

when the whole team begs me to come back.

[Cheering & whistling]

- Guess what? I made a team. - You're a water boy?

- Better. Our school doesn't have a mascot and

helping Casey got me thinking. - No, you didn't! - Oh, yeah!

Showed the coach my mad dance skills and he gave me the job.

I'm a bushy-tailed squirrel!

- Dude, tell me you're joking. You don't wanna now be the biggest loser in your school.

- You know what, Derek? You and I have different talents, okay? So deal with it!

- [Casey]: Hi.

- And, you know what?

If dressing up like a big plushy goofball and shaking my bushy tail makes me a loser?

Then I'm cool with that.

- What are you teaching him?

- Shouldn't you be out with Amy? - No. I really shouldn't.

- 'Cuz she kinda had this blow up at practice.

Seemed pretty upset. Might want to call her.

- To hear her whine about you?

I'll pass. But one question:

did you really try and take over her team?

- Not at all! - So they asked her to come back.

- No! Did she think they would?

- Yes! So can you two please make up

so I don't have to listen to her complain about you anymore?

- Weirdly, that may be good advice.

Hey, Amy. Can we talk?

- You've already got Max and the team, what else do you want?

My locker, my dog, my snow globe collection?

- You collect snow globes, too? - No!

- Hey! Everyone wants you back on the team.

- Really? Then why didn't 'everyone' tell me that?

- Whoa!

- Are you okay? - Ow!

Yeah I think I just twisted my ankle.

Guess you'll have to lead the pep rally.

- Nice try. You might be good at choreography, but acting? Eh.

- Look, I never wanted to take over.

I was just trying to make the team.

- Yeah, I believe that about as much as your twisted ankle.

- Amy, I'm sorry.

I never should have tried out.

- So you're quitting? - Yeah.

But not because you've been so mean to me.

I'm quitting because the competition between you and me isn't good for the team.

- You're right, it isn't.

But you know what would be good for the team?

Is if you and I... work together.

- Will Amy show?

- Do you think this is funny? - Will Casey show?

- 'Cuz it really isn't!

- Who will win the cheerleader wars... wars...

Wars?

Just trying to 'pep' this rally, that's all.

- Well...

We heard that you were coming, heard you wanna play.

- But then your mamma told you that you'd better stay away.

- 'Cuz you're cruising for a bruising

and no matter what you're losing...

- We're attacking... - It's nerve-wracking.... - That's your quarterback

we're sacking. - 'Cuz the Thompson Dogs are

Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! We won't stop 'til you've had enough!

The Thompson Dogs are Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! We won't stop 'til you've had enough!

♪♪♪

[Cheering] - Go Bulldogs!

- That was awesome, guys! Let's go get something to eat.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Whoa! That was you?

- Oh, yeah. Casey asked me to lend a hand.

- Ah, you were really good. - Thanks.

- No, seriously, man. Hilarious.

And I guess you're not such a big loser after all.

- Guess not. - Ah ha! - What?

Hey! Derek!

- You're dumping Amy? But she's the peppiest of the peps!

- I'm just not that into her. Here goes...

Hey, Amy. That was some, ah,

quality pep you had going on in there.

- Thanks, Derek. Listen, um...

I don't know how to say this, it's just...

It's not me, it's you.

- You're breaking up with me?

- Yeah, it's just you're always talking about how annoying Casey is

and it's, well... annoying.

See ya.

- Oh-ho! That was harsh. You gonna be okay?

- Yeah! I'll survive.

- Cool. So you don't mind if I ask her out?

Hey, Amy. Did I ever tell you how much I like those shoes?

♪♪♪

- Ah!

- Casey, I...

- There's like 8 different kinds of beans.

[Burping]

- Cheerleader wars... wars... wars! There's an echo.

[Bing!] - Toast!

- Ah, ha, ha! That's comedy!

- And... action!

- Okay.

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

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