Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- Wow! Don't you look sharp!

- I'm not going for sharp. I'm going for shark.

Junior Business Camp.

- Well... Don't forget your power lunch. - I will not.

- Oh, Lizzie? Don't forget your sun block. You're gonna be out all day at soccer camp.

- I'm all over it, Dad. [Laughter]

- School's out! School's out! - Ha! Ha!

Someone is excited for fun camp at the high school!

- Totally! - So, Case?

Excited to be Marti's camp counselor? - Oh, um...

Try Summer Recreational Consultant. See?

- Ah, no!

Business cards. Why didn't I think of that?

- I'm getting paid to have fun.

Plus I get extra academic credit. How perfect is that?

- [Nora]: Mm! Very perfect. - Happy summer, Smerek!

- Shouldn't you be at the beach starting your summer job as bikini inspector?

- Derek has to take a week of summer school

to rewrite a physics exam.

[Derek growling] - Oh, that's right!

So while Marti and I are at school having fun,

you'll be stuck in a classroom. Hmmm.

Well, see ya at the water fountain!

- AAAAAARGH!

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

relax.

For others, it's time to gain some valuable work experience.

But for Derek, summer is a lot like the school year,

only hotter.

[Sighing] - Ready to begin my...

prison sentence?

- It's the right class. Have a seat.

I'm Mister Nod. - Mister Nod.

Where is everybody? - You are everybody, Derek.

I guess your classmates figured they'd pass their physics exam

rather than retake it in summer school.

Strange, I know.

If you'll open your textbook to Newton's Laws of Motion...

- Textbook? I didn't bring a textbook.

I... you know, better go home and get...

Textbook.

♪♪♪

- Hey, Casey!

Wanna meet my friends? This is Carlos.

- Hi Carlos! - Ew! Girl cooties!

- This is Brooke. - Hi Brooke!

I'm Casey. - Nice shirt.

- And this is Jack. - Oh.

- Smell like fruit cups. - Grow up, Carlos! - Thank you.

- I hate fruit cups.

- And that's Nick and Nathan. They're brothers.

- Hand it to me - I'm open! - Hey...

Nathan, if you could let go of Nick's hair that'd be great! Okay, thank you.

- Come here! Over here!

- Stop running! Carlos! [Whistle sounding] - I'm open!

- 'Kay, guys, that's the last time I'm gonna use that whistle

because from now on when the hand goes up,

the mouths go shut, okay? 'Kay, gather 'round, guys.

- Carlos!

[Sighing]

- C'mon, Edwin, it was an honest mistake!

I got the dates wrong! - Yeah, well, thanks a lot, Dad.

Now I'm a rung behind on the ladder to success!

- You can still catch up! There's a session next week.

- That means I don't have anything to do this week!

- I'm really sorry, Edwin.

- I'm really sorry, Lizzie.

- What did you do? - Me? Nothing.

But Lizzie's soccer camp is infested with lice.

- Uh! Aah!

- I don't have lice, but my camp is cancelled for the whole week!

- Look at the bright side. You two can keep each other company for the next few days, huh?

- Still waiting for the bright side.

- Ah, c'mon, you guys! You can have fun here!

Just... don't stick around watching TV all day.

We - we'll see you tonight, okay?

- [George]: Good! Now, once again, I'm really sorry!

[Door closing] - So unfair.

We're stuck at home while everyone else is having the time of their life.

[Sighing]

- Okay, what would you guys like to do? - Dance!

- Marti, these activities are supposed to be creative and educational.

- Barf.

- Well, here we go!

Let's paint!

Okay. "Students may choose a subject to paint."

Any suggestions?

- [On TV]: Regional Forecasts: enjoy the good weather while it lasts because...

- Oh, hey! How was fun camp?

- Creative... and educational.

- Did you monsters have to paint my hair too?

[Edwin and Marti laughing]

- At least you guys got outta the house.

Try watching TV for six hours straight!

The most exciting thing on was the weather.

- Worst... summer... ever.

- First day of summer and I have homework.

- Worst... summer... ever.

- C'mon, guys!

Make the most of your summer! Why don't you go out...

and have some fun?

- But there's a cold front moving in from the north.

So expect showers overnight and continuing into the morning. Six hours!

- You, know what, Mom? You're right. Summer should be fun.

I have to come up with more inventive programming, right, Marti?

- How 'bout something fun?

- How 'bout something fun? - [Kids]: Yeah!

- Good! 'Cuz I've come up with some great activities

to help boost motor function and bolster problem solving!

- Casey, we talked about this.

Summer is for playing,

not for problems!

- Who says you can't do both?

Okay, the game is called Zwip!

Each person gets a flashcard and a gym ball

and by looking at your partner's card, you come up with a riddle

for the other team, like, um...

"In a glass I am nice, could I be a cube of ice?," huh?

- Take that! - Nathan! I didn't say "Zwip". When do I say Zwip?

Just a sec here. - You take that!

- Hey! Stop that! - Payback time!

[Whistle sounding]

- Um, okay. - So, ahem...

Where were we? - Mister Nod...

It seems a shame for us to be stuck in here.

I mean, why should we both be punished for my academic shortcomings?

- You do raise an interesting point.

I mean, technically, you don't need me to help you study, right?

- Pff! No way! - Well, maybe we can work something out.

And I... can still make the back nine.

- Heya. - Oh, but...

What're you doing? - Uh, I drive a mean golf cart. - Uh, no you don't.

The deal is: you stay, I leave

and then I come back on Friday and give you the test.

- Alright. Sounds like a plan.

- Oh, and Derek...

Do the chapter 4 study lesson and drop it by the secretary's office.

That way she'll know you're still here. I'll see ya Friday.

- Worst summer... ever.

♪♪♪

- Shhhh!

♪♪♪

- Even upside down, this is boring.

- [On TV]: Temperatures are dipping...

- Uh...

- [On TV]: ...morning. But keep those raincoats and galoshes...

- What's this? - Jenny's gerbil.

I'm pet sitting. - You sit on pets?

- Edwin! Jenny's paying me ten bucks

to look after Nosey while she's on vacation.

- Ten bucks? And all you gotta do is watch this thing?

- And feed him and clean his cage.

- Lizzie, do you know what color that gerbil is?

- Uh, brown?

- Oh, no. It's gold.

Pure gold.

- Why don't we do some arts and crafts? - A tongue-depressor house?

That is so last summer. - No, no! Not a tongue- depressor house, Brooke.

A tongue-depressor hospital! So guys what do you think?

Each one of you can design a different wing.

Okay, who wants to build a gurney?

Yes! That's the spirit, Marti! - Can I go to the bathroom?

- Okay, um, Brooke, could you be Marti's hall buddy?

- Be the most fun I've had all day. - Oh, and hurry back.

You might miss the plans for the administration wing!

- For you, Teddy? Course we got room for your hamster.

Yeah, make room. Got another client!

- We're gonna need a family-sized hamster chow.

- Later.

- What's all this? - Oh, well, this is Jenny's gerbil Nosey

and, um, Evan's rabbit, Mister Tubbs...

- Yeah! We got mice, budgies, rats - even a few reptiles.

- And a red-bearded dragon! - What?

- Welcome to Venturi and Associates Animal Day Care.

- Um, I thought we agreed on Old McDonald's Pet Sitting. - No.

- Pet sitting in the living room? Huh! I don't think so.

- But Mom, you said to make the most of the summer.

- I meant go out and get some exercise,

not turn our living room into a... a zoo!

- Come on, Mom! This place already was a zoo.

- Yeah. - Ah, no! Not there! We eat there!

- Alright. I see where this is going. How much you want in for? Five?

- Cages. Gone. Now. - Okay, okay. Ten.

Fine, twelve. But not a nickel more!

- Is that a snake?

- Oh, yes, but forget the snake. Thirteen, thirteen! - Aaah! Get it out of here!

- And off the foyer is a multipurpose room.

Okay, let's get started! Where is everyone?

Guys? Hey! Where did you all go?

Come on! This isn't funny!

Marti! Brooke!

Other kids? Where are you?

- [Kids]: Hey!

Alien!

Alien! Alien!

- Ceasefire.

- Der-ek! - What can I say? I got a way with the kids.

- Well I was looking everywhere for the kids!

How irresponsible can you... - Fire! - Alien!

- Stop! - [Kids]: Alien!

- If Captain Venturi and the Alpha Force were a little rough

on the alien intruder then just get us back tomorrow.

- Tomorrow you'll be back at summer school -- where you belong.

- Oh, no I won't! And you're in way over your head.

- I am not in way over my head!

Uh, yeah, I totally am.

- And, since I'm stuck in school,

I thought why not make this work for the both of us?

- How much do you want?

- Uh, two thirds. Up front. No refunds.

- Forget it, Captain Venturi! One third.

- One half or I don't do it. - Done!

♪♪♪

- Edwin!

- Yes sir! You bellowed?

- Yeah, quick question! No biggie.

Just curious as to why my room's filled with rodents!

- Uh, Marti had dibs on the birds?

- [Casey]: Lizzie, get these disgusting things out of here right now!

- And Casey had dibs on? - ...reptiles.

- Oh. - Uh...

- Thirteen... twelve...

- Quick question, Ed! - [Edwin]: Uh huh? - Eleven!

- Why is there an iguana in the bathtub?

- He's a bearded dragon. - Well I don't want iguanas,

dragons or anything but human beings in the bathtub, got it?

- Uh huh. - Three!

- Oh no. Not in here. - We're putting them in the basement.

- Where George and I sleep? - Why don't you and Dad relocate to the garage for the week?

- Why don't you relocate the animals to the garage for the week?

[Fake sigh]

- This family totally lacks entrepreneurial vision.

- Totally.

- Oh! Wow! - Oh cool! - Nice!

- Welcome to Captain Venturi's

ultimate space obstacle challenge!

- [Kids]: Coo-ool! - This was not in my activity plan.

- Uh, if you're looking for your activity plan, I'd check the bottom of Edwin's birdcages.

- What? - Alright, kids!

You are marooned on Planet X.

Deploy your distress call here: Ai oh!

And escape into hyperspace! - [Kid]: Aah!

- Jump over the crashed space-pod! - Nice!

- Okay, now, you have to activate your force shield.

[Kids laughing] And then...

you got to launch your moon rocks

in to the Plutonian fibre optics matrix. - [Kid]: Nice!

- Oh yeah! Now, you gotta do all of this

as fast as you can, ready? - [All]: Yeah!

- Release the Alpha Force Star Troopers!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go! Get those bodies moving.

Let's go, Marti! I wanna see some hustle!

Atta boy! Yeah! You got to hold on!

Oh, oh, oh, oh! Come on, Marti, come on!

Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo! Okay!

Moon rocks, moon rocks!

Go Nathan!

- Oh, wow!

This is such easy money!

- For you maybe. I'm doing all the work. - Yeah, but I'm supervising.

Okay, okay. What can I do?

- Well, you can take Nosey for a walk. Or you can give the skink a sponge bath.

- Skink?

Ew! Alright, Nosey!

It's time for your walk. Uh, hey, how do you walk a gerbil?

- Very carefully.

- [Derek]: There you go! There you go!

- Do you wanna try the Alpha Force course?

- No thanks, Marti. It's not my thing.

- Listen, I'm sorry for painting you before.

And for sneaking away. And the paper balls.

- I'm just glad you guys are having a good time with Derek.

- I like hanging out with you too.

- Really? - Sure!

You're pretty. You're smart.

You're organized.

- Ah, that's nice! Thank you, Marti.

- So you wanna try? - Uhhh - I don't think so.

- Force field is activated!

[Kids cheering Casey on]

[Derek laughing]

Come on, Casey You can do it!

Oh!

- We're gonna get your scales all nice and shiny, eh Wink?

Hey. Wink the skink. I just got that.

[Edwin whistling cheerfully]

Hey! How'd it go?

- Oh, hey, it went great! - Cool! So, where's Nosey?

- Oh, he's right over... - Edwin!

- He was right there. I swear! - Peanut butter!

- Thanks. I'm... You know, not - not really hungry.

- For the gerbil! Now go find him before Emily's cat does!

- Right! Heeere gerby, gerby, gerby.

Here Nosey! Here gerby!

- Oh no! Oh no!

Wink? Wink!

- Um... Lizzie? - Care to share?

- I had to get peanut butter for Edwin to get Nosey and now there's no Wink in the sink!

- Wink? - The skink.

- In our sink! - Wink the skink in our sink?

- Stink. - You want the gerbil or the skink?

- What is a skink? - A lizard.

- Gerbil. Definitely gerbil. Uh...

Here gerby! Here gerby, gerby! - Come on, Brooke.

- Save me, Captain! I don't wanna go!

- Yeah, we'll go on another mission tomorrow. Time for, ah, Alpha Force troopers to chillz.

- Bye, Captain. - Bye, Lieutenant. - Ooh!

- You guys really showed that fibre matrix whose boss! Keep it real, Nathan.

- Derek, I have to thank you for unleashing our inner troopers.

Including mine. And if you wanna borrow any of my physics notes, it's totally fine.

- Physi -- physics? No, I have an exam tomorrow!

Somebody's Laws of Motion!

- Newton? - Sounds right.

♪♪♪

- Did you find him? - Yep.

Hungry and scared, but safe.

- After crawling through every garden in the neighbourhood.

- Well, I found the skink hiding in the J-joint. - Ah, good work!

- Now, just, ah,

one more piece of business to take care of.

- We know. We know. - Clients need to go back.

- First thing tomorrow. - But Jenny doesn't get back until next week.

- Okay, the gerbil can stay but the rest go back.

Especially the lizard.

- [Together]: Skink. - Whatever.

- So, how's Newton going?

- Terribly. Why do you think I'm in summer school?

- 'Cuz you were too lazy to study during the year?

- Well there's that! But I - I just don't get it!

Force equals mass times acceleration?

I mean, who's trying to force what mass to accelerate?

- Well my buddy and I cooked up a little something to help you out. Marti?

Presenting Newton's Laws of Motion.

- First law of motion is a piece of cake...

- Things don't move, till they get a shake!

- An educational poem? Please!

- Second law of motion is all about the force...

- If something hits hard, then the object takes that course.

- Third law of motion, gives you satisfaction ...

- For every force made, there's an opposite reaction!

Yeah!

Oh, it was her idea.

We thought we'd put a little fun into your summer learning.

- Oh, thank you! Now go.

First law of motion is a piece of cake...

Things don't move till they get a shake.

- [Marti]: What's taking so long?

Here he comes! - Did you pass?

- Uh, he still has to correct it and something tells me

Mister Nod's not the fastest marker in the world. - Did he pass?

- Who are you? - Derek's stepsister.

- And the kids? - Oh, the Alpha Force. - So did he pass or what?

- Well...

You got... a fifty-one.

- Is a fifty-one good? - Not really, no.

- [Together]: But it's a pass! - Yes!

- You and I are free to go.

And remember -- don't stay in school.

- Aaaah!

- [Kids]: Fif-ty ONE! Fif-ty ONE!

- Ah, Derek, the kids and I were wondering

if maybe you wanted to... stay in the summer camp?

- [Kids]: One more week! One more week!

- One more week! - [Kids]: One more week!

- Ah, I guess I could do something!

[Kids cheering]

What can I say? Kids dig me. - Best summer ever!

[Kids cheering]

- Hey, whatcha doin'? - Oh, looking for our next multi-million-dollar idea.

- Yeah. Good luck with that.

Uh, Edwin, have you checked on Nosey?

- I'll get the peanut butter. - No. Nosey's there.

And so are four little other Noseys. - Whoa!

We could sell those baby gerbils for two bucks a pop. That's pure profit!

- No way. Uh-uh. - Hey-hey-hey!

Just hear me out, alright? We could call it Gerbils 'R' Us.

Or even better: Ger-bopolis!

- Paws off, Edwin! These babies belong to Nosey!

- Alright, how 'bout a lemonade stand?

If I get a deal on sugar and we keep our cost-per-glass down

and quality control way up, then boom! That's sick profits!

Yeah. Hey, you know if you made snacks then we'd really clean up

'cuz people love a snack with their lemonade.

I know I do!

- We only have five... [Laughing]

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.

[Derek growling and family laughing]

- Captain Venturi and the Alpha Force were, ah...

Doors would close!

- And since Jenny's gerbil, Mister Tut...

[Derek growling and family laughing]

- Any suggestions?

- Release the Alpha Star Troopers

of the Space... Land.

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

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