Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- 3 points! Yes. - So boys, what's the haps Saturday night?

- Huge party! - Really?

- Yeah! My grandmother, she's turning 80.

There's gonna be a polka band and everything.

You guys wanna come? - Thanks... I got plans.

- Yeah, you do. - How did you know about my date with Rachel?

- I read your blog.

- Why didn't you tell me you have a blog?

- 'Cuz I don't.

- I'm confused.

- Yeah, so am I. How could you guys both make plans this Saturday?

- Ah, sorry, D. We didn't mean to bail on you on such a major weekend.

- Yeah! First weekend since you broke up with Kendra.

♪♪♪ - No. I'm fine.

- Cool, so you don't mind if I call her?

- Yes, I do!

- Look, you're sure there's nothing else going on this weekend?

♪♪♪ - No. - No.

- Your grandmother's 80th?

Dude, he totally thinks we forgot.

- Forgot what?

- The surprise party Emily's having for Derek's 16th birthday?

- Man, I completely forgot.

Oh, what am I gonna tell my Grandma?

[Bell ringing]

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

forgetting your 16th birthday?

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!

Uh, wait a minute...

Yeah, maybe I would!

- That does it.

That really does it. - What happened?

- We got kicked out of the bowling-league carpool!

- Oh, you mean, I don't have to drive your friends anymore?

- No! More like not allowed.

No one wants to get in our car ever again.

- Edwin, you're supposed to crack a window

before you stink out the back seat.

- We didn't get kicked out 'cuz of my fumes.

We got kicked out 'cuz of our car's fumes!

- The Prince doesn't stink.

- Dad, please, the Prince reeks.

It's time to junk that beater.

- The Prince is not a beater. It's a chariot.

- Dad, wake up and smell the back seat!

- My friends don't wanna ride in the stinkmobile either!

- [Nora]: Yeah, George?

- It would be nice to have a car from this century.

- Yeah, especially since I will be driving soon.

- My birthday is 6 months before yours.

- Which must explain your great maturity.

- Wait, guys, guys! The Prince has been a faithful friend for almost 16 years.

I... I... I am not getting rid of it.

- 16 years, huh? So The Prince and I have a lot in common.

- We're getting rid of you too? ♪♪♪

- [Derek]: So, what is everybody doing this weekend?

- Well, Dad's buying a new car.

- Drop it, Ed. - Fine!

But, if we did get a new car, what would we get?

- Something in a soft green or maybe aquamarine.

- Typical. You ask a girl what kinda car she wants and she tells you a colour.

- Typical. You assume because I'm a girl, I know nothing about cars.

- Do you?

- As a matter of fact I do.

I know quite a lot about cars. Right Liz?

- Right, Casey.

- [Edwin]: Yeah, well Derek is a car expert. - It's true.

I always have been a car enthusiast.

- [George]: Der-ek!

- Uh! And I can't wait to take my driving lessons.

Which, ah, should be any day now.

Hnn?

It'd be nice to drive in something that didn't take 10 minutes to start.

- Yeah, George, about the car...

I mean your friend.

Maybe it's time your friend retired?

- No! The Prince is not ready to retire.

Long live the Prince!

♪♪♪

- Come on in. - Hn.

- And have a seat.

- So, ah...

going to any... parties this weekend?

- Why? Are you going to a party this weekend?

- Why would I ask you if you were going to any parties if I knew about a party?

- To make me feel bad. So where is this party and why wasn't I invited?

C'mon, don't hold out on me. - Forget it.

[Phone ringing]

- Hello?

- Hey, Casey! Listen, about Saturday-

- Don't worry, the plan is working.

My whole family's acting like

they've forgotten about Derek's birthday!

He's gonna be so surprised about the surprise party!

- Yeah, that's why I'm calling.

See, my parents won't let me throw the party here

'cuz of what Derek did to the birdbath.

But, do you think you can convince your Mom and George to have it at your place?

- I dunno. We were just about to try

and convince George to do something else... unpleasant.

[Sighing]

- [George]: I'm home! ♪♪♪

Ahhhh.

- [Edwin]: Dad, can we talk?

- Yeah, yeah, sure. Go have a seat.

- No, I mean all of us. Here. Now.

- What is this, some kind of intervention?

- Dad, we, the people who love you, are concerned.

- Yes, we feel that your attachment to your car has gone too far.

- This is an intervention! Nora!

- George...

- We, the people who love you, are concerned.

- You're in on this, too?

I mean, I always knew that the kids would turn on me, but...

- But you? - I'm so sorry!

- [Edwin]: Nora, be strong.

Some hostility is to be expected.

Now we'll all go around and express our feelings

about The Prince. Marti?

- I feel carsick in the car...

when it's parked!

♪♪♪ - Lizzie?

- I feel that we shouldn't get a new car.

- Thank you, Lizzie.

- Because cars are bad for the environment.

We should all ride bicycles.

- No, we shouldn't! - Casey?

- George. Why are you so resistant to getting a new car?

Could it be that the car is a symbol of something else?

Could it be that you're having trouble letting go of your youth?

- No! That's ridiculous!

- [Edwin]: Fine! Then if you won't listen to us, listen to our neighbours!

They've all signed a petition demanding that we get a new car.

They claim The Prince is lowering property values.

- Well, then they can all move

because I am not getting rid of my car!

- [Edwin]: Great!

- Ya' know, most guys having a midlife crisis

buy a new sportscar.

- The Prince is still in its prime. Like me.

- Yeah, it's almost 16, like me.

- I know, I know. I was just flipping through some pictures from back then.

I got The Prince the day you were born.

Ah, that was the happiest day of my life.

- It was? - Oh yeah.

I wanted that car for so long.

And you being born was big too.

- Yeah. - Look at this, look at this!

- The Prince was just a baby.

- Yeah! So was I!

- Well, I guess Saturday is gonna be a big day for everyone.

- It is.

- Yup. 'Cuz the family's getting a new car!

- [Edwin]: Alright! Thanks Dad! Wa-hoo!

Hey everyone, we're getting new wheels!

♪♪♪

- George! - Mm hm?

- I need a favour. Emily's planning a surprise party

for Derek's 16th birthday Saturday... - What?

It's Derek's 16th birthday Saturday?

- You forgot? - No!

- Not really. Kinda.

Yes!

Ah, no wonder he's been dropping all those hints.

- Yeah! Well, Emily can't throw the party at her place

so could we please have it here? - Sure. Why not?

Yeah, a party! That's a great gift.

- I know! Thank you. So what are you gonna get him?

- Oh... uh...

something... great and...

meaningful... and... I got it!

- Great! As long as it's not...

- [Both]: The Prince.

- George, don't you think that car's a little too grungy? Even for Derek?

- Just needs a little cleaning.

[Snoring]

- ♪♪ 1! 2! ♪

♪ 3! ♪

♪ 4! ♪♪

♪♪♪

[Music ends & Derek groans]

- [All]: Happy birthday, Derek!

- [Yawning]: You guys actually remembered.

- No! We totally forgot!

Until Dad reminded us yesterday.

So, as a present,

I'm taking 50 bucks off the money you owe me!

Okay, 75.

- Touching.

- I made you a special card.

- Oh! You sh--- - And here's your present!

- What is it? - Something to put your stuff in.

- Oh. - Do you like it?

- Love it! Thanks Smarti.

- I got you something too. First thing I ever knit.

- Oh. Wow!

Well, that's, uh...

Different.

- Do you like it? - I love it.

- I'm still working on my gift for you.

- Oh! Does it involve not talking to me 'til I'm 17?

- Better! - [George]: Derek! Could you come down here please?

- I can't wait to see his face.

- Happy birthday, son.

- Hey, hey! You remembered.

I thought you, ah, forgot like my so-called friends.

- Now what father would do that? I, um...

Got something for ya.

- A car?

I don't believe you got me...

Wait, these are the keys to your car.

- Ah, no son. It's your car now.

- What?

- Hey! I've got a great way for you to spend

your birthday afternoon! Car shopping!

- Sorry. I got plans to make.

- But we need you there 'cuz George won't come.

- So? You'll be there. And you know quite a lot about cars.

- True...

But like they say: "Two car experts are better than one!"

- You know nothing about cars do you?

- No. No, not really.

- Okay, say it. - Please don't make me say it!

- Say it! - Fine.

Derek, you are smarter than I am.

- Only about cars.

- What was that? - Nothing.

- 'Kay. First thing you want to look at is the engine size.

The smaller engines are less powerful. - Got it.

- Oh, unless it's turbo, in which case

the gas is forced through the engine at a higher velocity.

- 'Kay and that's good?

- Yes, Casey, because it makes the car move faster. - Oh!

- Now, you wanna talk torque. - What language is that?

- Torque measures how much a force acting on an object

causes that object to rotate.

- And torque is good? - Yes, Casey,

because it makes the wheels spin faster. Higher RPM's.

- Whoa, whoa! Ya lost me at 'r'.

- Okay.

Let's forget about what's under the hood.

Let's talk about the must-have extras. - Okay.

- Okay. - Uh-huh.

- Moon-roof. 6-CD changer, surround sound, subwoofer,

leather, alloy wheels.

- Okay. Leather woofer, subroof...

Got it. Alright, well...

Good luck drumming up a social event for this evening.

- Hey, I don't need luck for that.

- Well, then wish us luck.

♪♪♪

- So, will your husband be joining us today?

- No. Why? Do you think I can't buy a car without my husband?

- No, no! Not at all. - I'll handle this.

Edwin Venturi here. Now Harold, let's talk turkey:

what'll it take for you

to put us in a car by the time we leave today?

- Well, Edwin, exactly what kind of car are you looking for?

- I'd like something safe.

- Like a monster truck!

- I'd like to know what you have in a hybrid.

- Well, little girl... - Lizzie.

- Lizzie. Ah, we have hybrid cars,

but they tend to be a little expensive.

- Harold, when it comes to the environment, money's no object.

- Uh, yeah, unfortunately it is.

What we need is a reasonably priced car that's safe.

- Wait a minute! I would like a car with a good back seat.

That means cup holder, a DVD player and a place to put my monkey.

- May I suggest, ah... - Ah, excuse me!

I'm Casey. I would like...

A turbo, torque, um...

I need a 6 CD r-p-m

and, uh, leather subwoofer.

In aquamarine!

♪♪♪

- Yo, Josh! What are you doin' tonight?

- You're washing your car? You're washing your hair?

You're washing your dog?

My friends are lame!

- [Harold]: So...

Since we can't seem to agree on anything,

how about we look at your budget?

- I'm the money man, Harold.

[Giggling]

- Are you looking to buy a station wagon

or a little red wagon?

You're going to have cut back on a few of your options.

May I suggest a basic sports wagon

or the 'no car at all' option?

- Fine with me! - [Others]: Lizzie!

- Why don't you take a look at this shiny little brochure.

I gotta go get an aspirin.

[Phone ringing]

- Yo! Oh, hi Casey.

What? What kind of car?

No, no, no, that's, that's not a car

that's a go-cart. What happened to sporty?

No power windows?

No vanity mirrors? You know I like to look at myself! Put Edwin on!

- It's not my fault our family doesn't have the do-re-mi for some real wheels!

- Derek we can't afford that. - But I...

Oh!

He says we have to be tougher! - He's right!

We have to fight for a better car within our price range!

And if I give the signal, we walk.

The minute Harold knows we mean business

he'll be begging us to come back.

- What's all this?

- I decided if I can't give my son the car of his dreams,

I can at least give him

the meal of his dreams.

♪♪♪ - Oh, wow!

That looks really greasy!

- Yeah, it really does.

Ha ha!

- So, ah...

Dad, about the car...

- It's okay, it's okay!

I shouldn't have given you The Prince for your birthday.

I-I-I had some weird idea about

passing the torch from when I was young and cool.

- You were cool? - Briefly.

And back in the day, my car was very cool.

Anyway, forget The Prince.

For now, we will dine like kings!

- So, ah, King Dad? You really think we should have

let the rest of the family pick our new car?

- I can't hear you with my mouth full.

- So we getting closer?

'Cuz I do have clients who actually might buy a car.

- Well, Harold, I believe this model certainly is sportier,

but we've reached the ceiling on our budget. Can you do better?

- 'Fraid I can't Edwin. - Well, then...

I'm afraid we're going to have to walk away.

It's been a pleasure doing business with you.

♪♪♪

- Kid, you're a natural born salesman

but there's nothing else I can do.

The only way I could get the price down

is if you had an old car to trade in.

[Sighing]

- [Edwin]: We got a car!

- You guys actually got a car? - What kind?

- [Marti]: Aquamarine! - And it has a sports suspension.

- And very decent fuel economy.

- And we stayed within our budget.

The clincher was he gave us 500 bucks for The Prince!

- What? You can't sell my car!

- But I thought you didn't want the car!

- I never said that! If...

If it's good enough for Dad, hm? It's good enough for me!

The torch has been passed and you cannot put out the torch!

- Hey, Derek! Derek! You don't have to do this, really.

- I know I don't have to. I want to.

- But Derek, selling the Prince is what sealed the deal!

- Harold's gonna freak!

♪♪♪

- Oh, I'd better go call him.

Better if he hears it from me.

- So, why the sudden change of heart?

- The Prince has real sentimental value, you know?

The backseat barfs, the time Dad forgot me at the gas station.

All the times he threatened to kick me outta the car if I didn't stop noogy-ing Edwin.

- Look, enough! Enough! Seriously, I might cry.

- Oh, you mean like Harold's crying right now?

- One afternoon with our family and he snapped?

- Pretty much. He decided to give us our deal without the trade in!

As long as we never go back to his office again!

- [All]: Ya! - So it all worked out!

- Except, I have no plans for the night of my 16th birthday.

- Oh, well, why don't we rent a movie

and order in a birthday pizza? Hm?

- Great!

♪♪♪

- Hey, Derek, we got the movie. You coming?

- As long as you don't tell my friends

I spent my 16th birthday with you little twerps.

- Well, tell 'em yourself.

- [All]: Surprise!

- We got ya'!

- Yeah! What about Ralph?

- Ah, he's coming later,

after his Grandma blows out 80 candles.

- Thanks, man. - Hey, don't thank me. Thank the planning committee.

- You guys planned this?

- Happy birthday, Derek!

- Yeah, happy birthday, Derek.

- Oh! Ah. ♪♪♪

So, to be honest I'm surprised you're in on this.

- Hey, I got to watch you freak out about not having anything to do on your birthday.

- Whoa! I did not freak out! - Derek, Derek! So, listen:

have a great party, son.

- And y'know. I'm feeling generous.

So if you guys wanted to stay and hang out for...

half an hour or so...

- Yeah? You sure we won't embarrass you?

- Oh, I'm sure you will. I'll live.

♪♪♪

Alright, before D-Rock jams, I would like to ask

a very talented artist to sing us a song.

So give it up for the lead singer

from the 80s supergroup "George in the Jungle"

George Va-Va-Va... Venturi!

[Horns blowing & cheering]

Come on, Dad!

- Come on, George! Play a song.

- Alright, alright.

Now, I would like to send this song out to...

the birthday boy.

- Yeah, Derek! - [Casey]: Ahhh! - [Edwin]: Happy Birthday Derek!

- Sing it, Mister V!

- ♪♪ Oh Derek, it's your birthday ♪

- Yeah, Derek!

- ♪ It's your big, happy day ♪ - Alright!

- ♪ You're a pain in the butt ♪

♪ But that is okay ♪

Everybody now!

- ♪ Oh, Derek, it's your birthday ♪

♪ It's your big happy day ♪

♪ You're a pain in the butt ♪

♪ But that is okay ♪♪ - Alright!

♪♪♪

[Crashing and giggling] - Yo!

Yo! - Derek! - Yo, yo!

- Happy birthday, Derek!

- Happy birthday, Derek!

- Got an old car to sa...

Collar! I have no collar.

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0