Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- Ew! You're disgusting!

- The ladies in school would disagree.

- You're getting mud everywhere! Did you roll in it?

- No, me and Sam got in a mud fight with the football team.

They think they're better than the hockey team

so we reminded them they're wrong. - Oh, very mature.

- Oh and you might wanna watch your football boyfriend's back.

- Promise you won't prank Max.

- Oh, I promise I will.

- Oh! Ew gross! Edwin!

Don't tell me you had a stupid fight too!

- Uh, what makes you say that? - 'Cuz you're wearing your lunch.

- Oh yeah!

Sloppy Joe day at school lived up to its name so, you know,

I better throw this in the wash. - Hey, hey, hey!

Why don't I throw you in the wash

for wearing my sweatshirt.

- Ooh! So that's why it's so long.

I'm sorry, bro, I just grabbed the first thing off the top of the laundry basket.

- Laundry basket? Oh, then it's not my sweatshirt.

♪♪♪

- You're wearing my sweatshirt!

- Oh, so that's why it smelled so good.

I... I gotta run. - Edwin!

Take it off right now!

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

y is like a team.

And sure, sometimes you'd give anything to trade one of your teammates,

but if somebody messes with your team?

It's game on!

[Edwin grunting]

- Morning, Derek.

- Morning Edwin. So, what's new?

- Oh, nothing much, you know, just trying to breathe.

- Ah, shouldn't you be heading to school?

- I got a dentist appointment in 20 minutes. What's your excuse?

- I'm home-schooling myself! And you're just in time

for Media Studies! - Edwin,

I know why you're really not at school.

- You do? - Yeah, you're ditching class.

But be careful, eh? Dad catches you, he will go ape.

- You're right, so why don't you walk me to school?

- But ya' mind wearing your hockey equipment?

It'll make your shoulders look bigger.

- Ed, I'm sure my shoulders are plenty big enough

to handle your bully.

- Who told you? - You should've.

Now what's the deal? - I wish I knew!

'Cuz this kid, Ronny, keeps picking on me.

I guess he doesn't like my jokes or something.

- I know the type.

- You do? - But chillz, little bro...

'Cuz the bullying stops now.

- Really? Thanks, bro. What are you gonna do?

- Same as always, nothing.

But you're gonna stand up to him because I am sure

this Ronny kid is just as big a chicken as you are.

- Oh no. I am a giant chicken.

- You know that and I know that, but Ronny doesn't know that.

- Sure he does! I've been running away from him all week!

- Edwin.

Rule number 1 when dealing with bullies...

Never back down.

Be a man!

- If I'm such a man,

why do you call me Ed-Whiny

and Ed-Wormy and Ed-Wimpy!

- 'Cuz you're fun to pick on!

But that privilege is solely reserved for me.

♪♪♪

- You guys better not be laughing at some prank you pulled on Max.

- Oh, you mean poor little Maxine?

- Sorry Casey, but Max is captain of the football team.

- Which makes him pranking enemy number 1.

- If it makes you feel any better, he's a friendly enemy.

It's like a frenemy! - Oh! Like it!

- So you think it's a good idea to make frenemies with Max and the rest of the football team?

- Especially for a scrawny guy like you?

- Hey I am not scrawny, I'm scrappy!

And Sammy here's sneaky. - Hm.

- Sneaky enough to help me pull my latest job.

- So what juvenile stunt did you pull this time?

- [Max]: Derek!

Where are my shorts?

- Uh, Scrappy, I think we should run.

- I think so too, Sneaky.

- Um, aren't you gonna chase after them?

- No.

No, it's, um... not worth it.

- Exactly, Max! Why stoop to their level?

- It's not that. I can't run in these things.

♪♪♪

- Is everything okay, bro? - Oh yeah.

Just goofing around with the football team. How are things with you?

- Ah, it's goin' good, you know? Chowing on some 'chos

and I'm bully-free. - Ah! So you stood up to him!

- No, I did! Hoah!

- No! - Yeah!

Why get your own hands dirty when someone else can soil themselves! You taught me that.

- I never taught you to soil yourself!

- Ew! What's going on?

- This kid was picking on Edwin,

so all I did was show up in the schoolyard

on my way to Tae Kwon Do. He took off.

- Pretty sweet, huh? - No, it's not sweet!

If you guys have a problem with a bully you should go to Mom or George

or your teacher. And you should never listen to Derek. About anything!

- Hey! He didn't listen to me and he should've because

I am a master conflict-resolutionist.

[Doorbell]

- Uh! Oh!

- Football Rules! - Hockey Head!

[Kid laughing]

- Not one word.

Ed! Come on! You gotta learn to stand up for yourself.

- No I don't!

I've got Tae-Kwon-Lizzie! - Trust me.

Hiding will only make things worse. You wanna make things better?

You need to face the music.

- And how do you know? - Well, when I was your age,

I occasionally used

my influence in the schoolyard.

- You were a bully? - Please, I was merely in charge

and I never picked on kids who stood up for themselves.

- This isn't one of those tough, brotherly love things

where you whale on me to 'toughen me up'?

- Ed, have I ever hurt you? - You did sprain my finger playing road hockey.

- You sprained your own finger trying to juggle hockey sticks!

- Oh, yeah. Well, that just proves how useless I am with my hands!

Which is why I am a runner, not a fighter!

- Well...

With my, ah, 'D'-fensive maneuvers,

you won't have to do either.

- [Battle cries]: Yah! - Hugh!

Ow!

Ow! Ooh!

Ah, yeah, you were right.

Ronny did give me heat for letting Lizzie protect me.

So I stood up to him like you said. - And...?

♪♪♪ Oh!

Uh, what happened?

- Well, I guess I messed up the D-moves.

I got the duck part right, but forgot to cover.

So, how bad does it look?

- You kidding? Nobody's gonna notice that.

- Hey guys.

Ed, what happened to your eye?

- Ah, nothing, Smarti, Ed's just trying on some eye shadow.

- Right. - You gonna put some on the other eye?

- I really hope not.

- You should, 'cuz it looks like somebody gave you a black eye.

- Okay, Smarti.

Oh, ah, ah...

Here. Put these on.

No sense in alarming the 'rents. Especially since

I'm going to end this thing with Ronny, once and for all.

- Really? How? Flying ninjas?

♪♪♪

- Hey Ronny!

Yeah, it's Derek. Edwin's, ah, older, much bigger brother.

Listen, I need you to do me a solid:

steer clear of my bro' or else.

You do the math.

Cool! Alright, thanks for co-operating, Ron.

- Ah, thanks Derek!

You are the best big bro ever!

- Yeah, I really am.

- Nora. - Edwin.

- Edwin? - Nora?

- Why are you wearing sunglasses in the house?

- Derek gave them to me. It's part of my new look.

Ah!

- Ah! And who gave you that?

- One of my friends at school. - One of your friends?

Edwin, are you being bullied?

- What, a tough guy like me? No way!

- Edwin, just 'cuz I'm used to daughters doesn't mean I don't get bullying.

Course with girls it's more like 'talking behind your back'

and 'refusing to be your friend' kind of thing.

- Lucky girls. - Yeah, well those lucky girls might disagree.

Look Edwin, you need to let your Dad and I help.

- But Derek already helped me!

- Uh, yeah I can see that...

But maybe your dad and I can add to Derek's wisdom, okay?

- Okay. [Doorbell]

- Hey, Ryan!

Ah, if you're playing nicky-nicky-nine-door,

you actually ring and then run, not ring and stay.

But I'll close the door, you try again.

- I'm not here to prank you.

I'm here because of my little brother... Ronny.

- Ronny's your little brother?

That's hilarious!

- Yeah. And he said you threatened him...

With math? - Hn?

Oh no, I told him to do the math.

I was just trying to get him to leave my little brother alone,

just t like I'll ask you to leave me alone. - Well, I'll leave

if you step outside. It's time we take care of all our business.

- [Marti]: Derek!

Will you help me with my math?

- Oh, I love math! Though I would never threaten anyone with it.

- I'll be in my room when you're finished playing with your friend.

- Unnhh... Ryan's just leaving!

- Yeah. We can finish playing tomorrow...

At school.

- Ow. ♪♪♪

Hey Sammy! It's D.

Never guess who came by today.

Ah... I'll call you back.

Can I help you?

- Not any more! I talked to Nora and Dad

about Ronny and they called his parents.

So I think everything is going to be okay.

- So... you went parental?

- Yeah. Who knew they could help?

It's like a huge weight has been lifted

off of my shoulders and...

I'm sorry for shifting that weight onto you.

- What weight? - Ah, Ronny's brother Ryan.

It's all over my message boards.

Ronny's bragging how his big bad bro's gonna 'take care of you'.

♪♪♪ - Ah...

Trash-talk is cheap.

Besides, me and 'Ry-guy' go way back.

I know how to take care of him.

- You mean with your D-fensive maneuvers?

- Yeah, so if you'll excuse me,

I have to fluff my pillows for battle.

- Okay. ♪♪♪

- Scoping for girls?

- No, I'm scoping for Ryan.

It's all clear but here, just let me just walk in front of you, okay?

- Sam, it's chillz. Ryan's a bunch'a talk.

This whole thing's gonna blow over.

- Oh, yeah, of course it will, um, but in case you need backup

I've been doing push-ups and drinking milk.

Okay chocolate milk, but it still counts!

Uh, we should get going, Man. We don't wanna be late for class.

- Uh, we don't?

- B-L-T. Hold the 'L' and the 'T'?

Great! I got Derek's lunch.

- Here. Have half of mine.

It's a P.B. & H.

- Pastrami, bologna and ham?

Ew! That's even grosser than Derek's!

So should I be on the lookout for any hockey players trying to steal your gym shorts?

- No. I told the guys to lay off Derek for a while.

He's got his hands full. I just hope he knows what's he's doing.

- Please, this is Derek. Of course he doesn't know what he's doing!

Wait! What is he doing? - He's gonna fight Ryan.

- The oversized 'fridge' on your football team?

When?! Where?! Why?!

- I don't know when and where,

but Ryan found out Derek threatened his brother, Ronny,

who had some problems with Edwin.

- Edwin's bully is the fridge's brother?

Why wouldn't you tell me? - I just did!

Besides, it's just a stupid fight

and you have your 'no Derek-talk' rule.

- Ah! Don't you know there are exceptions to all my rules? Why aren't you stopping this?

- 'Cuz it's none of my business!

And Derek threatened Ryan's brother!

And he's really been annoying the football team.

- Just because Derek's a jerk

doesn't mean he deserves to be beaten up!

- Wait! What are you gonna do?

- More than you're doing!

We need to talk! - You need to cut your nails!

- [Girls screaming]: Get out!

- Wow, you guys have soap in there?

- Derek you can't fight Ryan! Even you're not that stupid!

- Oh, yes I am! Besides, what do you care?

- Because I won't have my study schedule messed up

by having to visit you in the hospital!

- Always a drama queen. - Always the stupid cool guy.

- What was stupid was not dealing with this 4 years ago

when Ryan and I were the same size.

- What are you talking about?

- Derek? - Okay.

When I was 12,

I was bullied by Ryan.

I mean, I-I made some jokes at his expense,

which he didn't find particularly funny.

So he was after me for a couple of weeks and...

I managed to avoid him and eventually he moved on to someone else.

Guess this Edwin/Ronny thing has brought it back.

- You were bullied by Ryan?! - Sh, sh, sh!

Keep it down! I gotta protect my tough-guy rep.

- You don't have a tough-guy rep. Besides...

Being a bully means you're weak, not strong!

- Thanks for them public service announcement, but I know what I'm doing.

- Since when?

- And don't tell anyone about this.

♪♪♪

- Ah, Casey is everything okay, 'cuz you look a little--

- Worried? Nervous? Anxious? - Yes, yes and yes.

- Paul, suppose I knew a certain someone was being bullied.

- Casey, you're being bullied?! Look, you are not alone.

The school takes bullying very seriously. And, uh...

I have some brochures here that I really want you to look at.

- Paul! - These are very-- - Calm down! It's not me but

the person who is being bullied won't let me tell you.

- Casey, the first thing they teach us about bullying is that

telling isn't tattling, especially if someone's gonna get hurt.

Now is there any way you can get this person to talk to me?

- I dunno. - 'Cuz if you can't, you're gonna have to tell me now.

- Okay. I will tell you but

first I wanna tell this person I'm gonna tell you

'cuz maybe I can tell him to tell you himself. - Come again?

- Don't worry, Paul. I promise I will talk to this person at home tonight.

♪♪♪

Oops.

- Just get him to come in!

[Whistle blast]

- [George]: It's a little quiet, everything OK?

- Yes, Dad!

- I'm right in here if you need me!

- Okay Dad! So you have something to say?

- Ah...

Well my Dad kind'a made me come here,

but I'm sorry I punched you, Edwin.

- Yeah, I'm sorry you punched me too.

- So, ah, how's your eye?

- Oh, you know, it only hurts when I blink.

- Then don't blink. - Okay and you won't either.

Starting... now!

♪♪♪

So is your brother really gonna fight my brother?

- I hope not. Ryan's really strong. How 'bout Derek?

- Tough enough to handle me but that's not saying much.

- Nah, you're pretty tough. You didn't even cry when I hit you.

- Yeah, I did, after you left.

Ha! You blinked! I win!

- You hit the table! - You hit my eye.

- Oh yeah.

So... We even? - We're even.

[Villain's theme]

- C'mon D, let's get outta here, okay? Burgers on me!

- Ah. Sounds great! We'll go after.

- You might not have teeth after!

- Are you ladies done talking? - [Max]: Hey!

- Hey Max. It's cool, I got this.

- No, man, it's not cool. This isn't gonna solve anything.

And Derek's not worth it. - Yes, I am!

- No, you're not! - Can't we settle this another way?

- Yeah! We could have a chess tournament! Or, or thumb wrestle.

We could spit for distance. Yeah? Yeah?

- You play your weird decathlon.

Me and Derek, we're going outside.

- You're fighting now?

- Stop the violence! - We haven't started the violence.

- Oh, okay, um... don't start the violence! - [Derek]: Casey!

- Derek! Let's go! - [Casey]: No, stop!

And lay down your arms, or... or I'll lie down on the floor.

♪♪♪ The dirty, stinky hallway floor.

Ew, ew, ew.

- Well, well, well, looks like another Venturi boy

who needs a McDonald girl's help. Nice work getting her to stall for ya'.

- Casey, go home. - Yeah, listen to Derek.

- No! I will never listen to Derek!

But if you wanna fight Derek, you're gonna have to fight me first!

- Is she fighting your battles for you now? - I can fight my own battles!

- Easy, Derek. - Yeah, hey, I'm not fighting anybody!

- Easy, Casey. - Hey look! It's Casey and Derek

the wimpiest tag team ever!

- Hey, I am scrappy! - Well, I may be wimpy,

but I don't care! 'Cuz I'd rather be wimpy than an

aggressive jerk who thinks it's tough to fight people!

'Cuz what's tough is being strong enough not to fight!

To work things out instead of punching each other out!

- Okay, okay, okay!

I won't fight him if you just stop yelling at me.

- Really? ♪♪♪

Well! My work here is done.

Max. Call me. K? - Yeah.

- You think that's funny? - No.

- Uh-uh. - Kinda. I mean, no.

- You're not worth it.

And honestly I pity you for having to live with her.

- Dude, you're lucky that locker wasn't you.

- You're lucky Casey saved your butt.

- Ah, please, I could've taken him.

Okay, I didn't stand a chance.

- I thought Ryan just bullied on the football field?

Guess I was wrong.

I'll get the coach to talk to him.

- Yeah, it's a good idea.

And, ah, it was cool that you tried to stop him.

- Yeah, it was cool.

Which is why I should warn you.

Don't open your locker. - Ah...

- Or, or your gym bag. Or your car door.

You know, why don't I just walk you through the stuff I pulled.

- That's probably the best idea.

- Ahhh! You're going down, bro!

- Ain't gonna happen Ed. [Ed grunting]

- I see it's business as usual here.

- So, I didn't pin you! But you wait...

That day will come! - No it won't, Ed.

- Mmm, so...

Don't you have something you want to say to me?

- Yeah! Next time I tell you to stay outta things... Listen!

- Are you kidding? I'm never listening to you!

I should've told Paul everything from the start!

And if it wasn't for me making a fool of myself

Ryan might'a rearranged your face.

And I can't always be around to protect you.

- Well, the ladies do like my face where it is...

- So, I guess I should...

Thank you.

- Ah!

- Keep trying, Ed.

♪♪♪

Okay.

[Edwin screams]

I gotta protect my tough-guy rep, hnnn?

- Ah? - I shouldn't have done that.

[Trails off into gibberish] - What?

- Pshh...

- Oh, that was one real nice entrance at the end there. - Thanks.

- You think that's funny?

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

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Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0