Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- Dad, I'm looking for a partner for a promising little project

I'm working on. Invest early, make the big bucks later.

- Invest? As in "you want money".

- Hey, R and D isn't free.

- Roofs and drains? - Research and development.

As soon as this thing hits, I'll pay you back.

- Ah, sorry Edwin. Any extra money goes into the college fund.

- Dad, forget about being sensible. No risk, no reward!

- No dice.

- Dad, uh...

Kendra's bugging me to take her out Saturday and I'm kinda...

short.

- Oh, you look tall enough to me.

- Dad, how am I supposed to be a gentleman and pay for my lady on my petty allowance?

- I dunno? Get a job?

- Nah, working's for suckers - investing is the way to go.

- Sorry boys. The bank is closed.

[Phone ringing]

- Uh-- - [Casey]: [Hello? Hi! Hold on one sec.]

Hang up, Derek!

- Daddy, please, please, please can I have a...

- Marti, use your tooth fairy money.

- But all I want is a hug.

- That I can give. Come up here!

Come here you!

- That'll be $10, please.

- What? Don't Dad's get free hugs?

- No. - No?

- Speaking of Dads, guess who's coming to dinner Saturday night?

Dad! - Dad eats with us every night.

- Not your dad, mine!

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

new life:

the school, the house, George, Marti, Edwin, even Derek -

when he isn't around.

But sometimes I wish my old life

could join the new life so it was all one life, ya' know?

So, I invited my dad for dinner Saturday and he said yes.

- That's great! But how does your mom feel about it?

- Oh she is totally cool with it.

- You invited my ex-husband to dinner? Not cool, Casey.

Not cool at all!

- C'mon, Mom. I'll do all the cooking and the prepping.

There's no need to have a hairy! - Yes there is!

You should have consulted me before you invited him!

- Well I am now!

Lizzie and I barely see Dad since he moved to New York.

- I know, but... what about George?

This... this could be very weird for him.

- George doesn't have a problem with it, Mom.

You're the only one with issues.

- I do not have issues.

I am a hip, modern woman who gets along with her ex-husband.

- Great then it's settled!

And as long as he behaves, it'll be fine!

- I can't believe he is still going out with her.

- Hi Derek! Kendra.

- Hey Casey. Emily.

- So, Emily, still taking pity on the socially awkward?

- So, are you excited to meet Casey's dad Saturday night?

- Hey! We have plans on Saturday night!

- I know, but I gotta meet Casey's dad.

I need to know where a freak like her comes from.

And I'm... kinda broke.

- Derry! You promised.

- Oh, well, here, here! Consider it a loan.

- Thanks.

- Yeah that was so sweet! Date night's back on!

- Sure is! - Come on, Derry.

Let's go to class. Bye Casey.

Emily. - Bye girls.

- That was so cool!

- The way I kept Derek outta the house like that?

- No, the jealous vibe I got from Kendra!

But your thing was cool too.

- I know. 'cuz now I actually

have a chance of making my dad's visit perfect.

- So, why does everything have to be perfect?

- Well, like my father says:

if you're gonna do something, do it right.

And if it all goes really right, maybe he'll visit us more.

- Do you not see him enough?

- Well, he's a corporate litigator in New York, so he's kinda busy.

- Oh, so he's a lawyer like... like your stepfather?

Not really. George is more of the help-the-little guy lawyer

and my father is more of the wheeling-and-dealing, moneymaking lawyer.

- So you think they'd get along? - Sure.

My dad has a way of making people feel comfortable.

He's funny, charming, sophisticated...

- And George? - Can't wait to meet him!

- Dad's always going to cool places like London or Paris.

- I've been to London and Paris... Ontario.

- Oh! And my Dad's this amazing gourmet cook.

- Bet he's out of shape from all that rich food, though.

- No. He runs marathons. - Losing his hair?

- Nope. - Grouchy in the morning? - Nope.

- I bet I could beat him in a thumb-wrestling contest.

- Maybe... but he does have a black belt.

- I have a black belt! It holds up my pants!

[Laughing] - You'll like my Dad. He's funny too.

- Of course he is.

- So all I have to do is cook a fabulous meal

and make sure everyone's on their best behaviour! [Sighing]

- Don't you think your expectations are just a little too high?

- Ah, come on! My family can behave for one night.

- No, I mean of yourself. - Of course!

Now Edwin...

- Can't talk. Researching human gas.

- Really? Well, when my Dad's here for dinner

please refrain from emitting any... gas.

- Oh, you mean like... [Burping loudly]

- Yeah. - And what about... - Don't you dare!

[Sniffing] Did you?

- No! And I won't on Saturday if...

- If what? - If you consider investing in my board game.

- No Edwin. And no bugging my Dad for money either!

- Hum!

- So, when my Dad's here for dinner...

- No nose picking. - Right!

- What about after dinner? - Pick 'em if you got 'em! In private.

- Okay.

- George, Saturday night? I need a favour.

- Pay Derek to leave... - No, no... I already did that.

It's about your car: mind putting it in the garage

so my Dad can park his convertible in the driveway?

- Oh, sure, sure. Should I wear my tux?

- Ha! Ha! Ha! You don't have a tux. A sports jacket'll be fine.

Mom?

- I have a headache.

I must be worried about... something.

- Well, about that... something. I need a favour.

- Oh... You said you'd take care of everything.

- And I will. But maybe you could put up those new curtains

like you've been planning for months?

- Casey, I will put up the curtains when I am good and ready.

- Okay.

- Okay! I guess I'm good and ready now.

- Thanks mom.

[Edwin]: Derek. Phone.

It's Kendra.

- Again? I just spoke to her!

- Well, she wants to speak again!

- Well, I got nothing to say! Tell her I'm busy!

- Ah, Kendra?

Derek can't come to the phone right now, he's... busy.

Busy with what? Ah... ah... he's not feeling well.

Yeah, he's got the runs. - Edwin!

Kendra. Hi! No I'm fine.

Yeah, my tummy wummy's fine too. [Laughing]

Could you hold on a sec?

Edwin, you little... - Ah! Derek!

- Liz! Wake up!

- Why? Is the house on fire?

- No. - Go away.

Ah, come on, Liz! Dad's gonna be here any minute!

- I thought he was coming for dinner?

- Okay he'll be here in 600 minutes,

but we've got a lot to do. This night has to be perfect.

- Casey, it's never gonna be perfect.

- Not with that attitude it won't!

Now, come on, get up, come on! - - No...

Casey! - Get up! Come on!

[Laughing]

Ah! I knew perfection was possible!

I hope everyone's getting dressed!

- You know, I'm thinking I should stay home tonight.

Could be entertaining. - No, no, no! You should go.

You wouldn't like my dad. He has taste.

He's sophisticated, intelligent... - Sounds like my kind of guy!

- Trust me, um... he's really not.

So, you better hurry. You know Kendra freaks when you're late, so...

You have fun and don't be early, okay? Bye!

[Phone ringing]

Hello? Dad! Where are you?

You can't?

Oh.

- What's wrong? - Dad can't come.

- No... [Doorbell]

- Okay. - Hey-hey!

- Dad! - Gotcha!

- I knew you were faking! - Dad!

- Come here. - I totally believed you!

- You always were gullible. - She still is!

Hey! Nice car. - Thanks. Ah, nice to meet you, ah...

- De-rek!

- The new curtains! [Laughing]

Your dad's pretty cool. What happened to you?

- Me? What happened to you? You're supposed to be out with Kendra!

- Yeah, well, change of plans;

we got in a fight, now it's over.

- No! No, no, no! It's not over. No!

Go! Go make up with her. Please!

- It's a comfy house. And so clean!

- Well, it should be! We cleaned all day!

- Yeah? You didn't have to do that for me, you know.

- Well, Casey didn't give me a choice. - Well, if it's not done right,

then don't bother doing it! Right Dad? - That's right, honey.

- Personally I always choose the "don't bother" option.

- Yeah. Ha! Ha! Ha! I know what you mean.

- Uh, I'm going to go finish dinner, Dad.

Please ignore everything Derek says.

- So, how's school? - Good.

- Yeah? - Yeah. - Dennis! Edwin Venturi.

Yeah, you gotta nice couple of daughters.

- Yeah. - Here's my card.

- Uh... it's a hockey card. - Sorry, wrong one.

Ah, here you go. - Okay! Edwin, what can I do for you?

- Actually it's what I can do for you!

See, it's all part of the business plan for a little project I'm working on.

Edwin, you better not be pitching!

- I'm not! So, here's the pitch -

and I'm only telling you 'cuz I know you're loaded.

- Edwin, you know the rules. Okay, we eat first, then we hit the guests up for money.

[Laughing] - Hi there! I'm George.

- It's nice to finally meet you, though it's a...

it's a bit weird.

- No, it's very weird. [Both laughing]

- Hey! Who's this?

- This is Marti and tonight I will not pick my nose!

- Excellent. Me either!

[Giggling]

- Risotto. Risotto's just rice. I can make rice.

- Case? Listen, your Dad's taking the kids for a ride

in his convertible. You wanna go?

- Ah... little busy here, George!

- Can I help? - Actually, yeah, yeah!

Could you get my Mom? It'd be nice for her to come up and say hello.

- She said she had a migraine. - Oh for Pete's sake.

She doesn't get migraines! But she's about to get an earful!

- Mom, dinner's almost ready!

Can you stop faking and get dressed please!

- But Casey... - The only butt I wanna see is yours

on the dining room chair in 20 minutes!

- I'll go jolly her along. - Jolly good, George.

[Phone ringing]

Hello? Oh, Kendra! Hi! I'm so glad you called!

Is there any way you could come and get Derek?

You never wanna see him again?

Okay, yeah, I know how you feel, but um...

I'll have him call you when he gets back.

No, he's not with another girl, no!

Don't cry! No, no, don't cry! He's not worth it!

Okay! Alright! Bye.

- We burned rubber! - Whoa!

- Ah, Lizzie, could I see you in the kitchen?

- Yeah. - Now! - Sure.

- Uh, don't worry, Dad. Dinner's hurrying right along.

- Ah, look, honey, I've only got an hour or so

I gotta get back to Toronto tonight to catch a flight.

- Oh, so soon? - Yeah.

- Okay, well then I'll hurry along faster. - Great.

- And Derek, call Kendra! - Yeah, I'll call later.

- But she's really upset. - Well, then I'll call much later.

- Ha! Smart man.

- Don't encourage him, Dad. He should call his girlfriend and sort things out.

- Casey, we men, we're not really talkers.

I remember when I was your age I'd do anything to avoid "the talk".

Come to think of it, I still do. [Laughing]

- See, that's what I'm talkin' about. - Yeah, smart man.

[Laughing]

So, trouble with the girlfriend, huh?

- Yeah, the trouble is I have a girlfriend.

I mean she's okay, but sometimes a man

needs a little breathing space.

- You're not a man, Derek!

So, Dennis, um... I'm still hoping for some "ear time"

on that business proposition? - Yes, can do, Edwin.

- Great. - Look, if you like the girl, smooth things out.

Talk is cheap, flowers aren't. Send her some.

- Yeah, I would, but I kinda already spent

all my allowance and Casey's.

- Alright, look, here is my secretary's email;

you send her the address and have her send some, 'kay.

- And you're related to Casey how?

Oh! The risotto's not... risottoing!

- Ouch! I think I grated some skin into the cheese.

- Oh! Get it out! And don't bleed in the cheese, please!

- Don't worry, I'll be fine.

- Ah!

- So I'm just hanging there, right, just by my fingers,

I look down; bottom of the cliff - it's just jungle down there.

I gotta football field to climb up.

- Dennis. Welcome!

Casey and Lizzie are ever so excited you could come.

- Nora, look at you. Just beautiful as ever.

- Well... yeah. [Laughing]

I'm glad you could come, too. - - Eh!

- Ah, you are a lucky man, George.

You don't take her for granted like I did.

And come home for dinner every once in a while.

- I always come home for dinner. Course, I usually make dinner.

[Laughing] - And, uh, Casey would like us to sit for dinner.

- Ah, so my little cheffettes are ready, huh?

Liz, can you stir with your good hand?

I need to dress the salad. - Sure, but watch out for the...

- Olive oil? - Yeah.

- George watch out for the...

- Ah!

Ooh! Olive oil?

- Yeah. - Okay. Ah!

Ah! - Whoop! Oh!

- Oooh! Ah, is everything alright in there?

- Oh yeah, yeah. Like a well-oiled machine.

- Well, I'm starving, so how 'bout a well-ordered pizza?

- Ah, in the meantime, why don't we play a sample round

of my board game aimed at the tween demographic?

I call it Fartofacts.

- You're not supposed to say that! Or do that.

- Exactly. Edwin I don't think it's appropriate dinner conversation.

- Which is why we're talking about it before dinner. - [Casey]: Edwin!

- So, Dennis. - Yes?

- My game explores the fun and foul world of gas!

- Okay. - The different categories are on your cards.

- Whoever smelt it, dealt it. - Silent but deadly.

- Clear the room... it's a stink bomb.

- Dinner is finally... whoa!

- Casey, are you okay?

[Sobbing softly]

[Derek is laughing loudly] - Is something burning?

- The red peppers! No! Oh no! [Fire alarm]

[Fire truck siren]

- [Derek]: Yeah, I know! I thought everyone knew paper was flammable.

Yeah, don't worry! I'll fill her in on kitchen safety.

Night guys!

Ah, good people.

- One word and this time our neighbours will be calling an ambulance!

- You know what? That is about all the excitement I can handle for one night.

- You're not leaving already are you?

- Well, I'm sorry, honey, I've got that flight to catch.

- But I haven't shown you my room!

- Or my room! - Next time, okay? I promise.

You guys understand, right?

- [Both]: Yeah.

- Ah, thank you. Nice meeting you. - Nice meeting you.

- Nice meeting you all, you know, even the firemen. Derek, you know,

you gotta come to New York. You gotta see a Ranger game. I got center ice tickets.

Those are my numbers, you don't be afraid to call, alright?

- Don't worry. I won't. - Mm, Bye.

- Bye, Dad. - [All]: Bye. - [Edwin]: Think about it.

- Ah, you know, Miss Case,

I'm actually glad we did that.

- Yeah... me too.

Um, well, I better finish cleaning up the oil slick in the kitchen.

- Everything okay?

- Yeah, the oven's fine. Should make a full recovery.

- And will you make a full recovery?

- From the dinner fiasco? It's my own fault for striving for perfection.

- Yeah, well at least you got to see your dad. He's a great guy.

- I know he's a great guy! He's my dad!

[Starts crying]: And if you'd gone out with Kendra like you were supposed to,

I might've actually spoken to him...

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Don't do that! - Do what?

- Cry! - Why not?

- I don't "do" tears.

Why do you think I haven't called Kendra?

- Derek, that's terrible. You can't just avoid Kendra.

Think of how she's feeling right now!

- Ya think? Maybe you should take your own advice.

[Doorbell]

- Dad? - Hey.

- What are you doing here? Is everything okay?

Was your plane delayed?

- No, no it... left without me.

- You missed your flight? Well, I'll call the airline

and see if we can get you another one.

- No, Casey, Casey, stop. You know I missed... missed it on purpose.

- Why? - Because I realized what a big deal this night was for you.

And actually it was a... it was a big deal for me too.

- I just... I wanted everything to be perfect,

but it was perfectly awful.

- No, no. It was perfectly wonderful and it was...

it was very entertaining.

And I shouldn't have just breezed in and outta here like that.

- You shouldn't have 'cuz we never get to see you

and we miss you so much and I hope you don't mind,

but I think I'm gonna cry.

- Of course I don't mind.

I'm so proud of you, Casey.

How you coped with everything...

The divorce, a new city, a new school.

How you've helped Lizzie deal with everything

and I know I shouldn't have spent so much time

speaking with Derek, but you know, guy talk;

it's so much easier than this. Ha!

- Derek called you, didn't he?

- Yeah, maybe. Well, I'm sworn to secrecy, so I...

- I can't believe him!

He had no right to do such a...

sweet thing.

- Yeah. Ya know your...

your new family is pretty great.

I mean, I really like George and, honestly, I've never seen

so happy. That, uh... little stepbrother of yours, though,

you gotta keep an eye on him because a... game about gas?

- I'll work on it. - Yeah, that idea reeks.

[Laughing]

- Okay, so that's one more for Marti, Dad...

- Thank you. - Nora and me.

- What's my category?

- The backside trumpet.

- I don't get it. - Good!

Edwin, this game is disgusting!

- I know! I'm gonna be rich!

So Dad's coming in next week

just to take Lizzie and I out for dinner.

- Oh, that's wonderful. - I know! He wants to make sure he spends more time with us.

- So you and Kendra worked things out?

- Yeah, we had a nice chat. She cried, I cringed...

- You smooched. Or did you put that lipstick on yourself?

- Oh, no, that's, ah... ketchup.

- Oh, you got "ketchup" on your neck too!

- Hey! No! Hands off! I mean it! - I wanna see! I wanna see!

- Hey! Hey! Hey! No!

- And now... the Life Of Derek Players.

- Sorry boys. [Laughing]

- Um, why'd you do that? We were rolling!

- Nose nose picking. [Giggling]

- The red peppas. [Laughing]

Closed Captioning by: SETTE inc.

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0