Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

[Knocking] - What?

- [Derek]: You playing hooky? It's 8:30.

- It can't be.

It is!

- Oh! - Why didn't anybody wake me?

- I just did. Everyone else is gone. Lucky I heard you snoring.

- I do not snore. - Then you sleep with bagpipes?

- Why aren't you at school?

- Dentist appointment. - Ah, well...

then I guess I appreciate you waking me. It's not like you to be helpful.

- No, it really isn't...

- What are you doing? - Waiting to film Casey's reaction when she finds out...

- It's Saturday! - That's genius!

- Derek! - Whoa!

- You! - How was school today, Casey?

[Derek laughing] - You... goof!

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

ery day is Prank Day.

And his favourite target?

But I will get the last laugh,

even if it's the last thing I do.

- Ha! Ha! You do the dishes!

- Ah, but dinner's at seven and... it's only ten to seven.

- Ah, no, sweetie, it's seven.

- Well that's weird. My watch stopped.

- Better change your battery;

it's very important to be punctual.

- [Edwin]: Yeah! You wouldn't wanna be late for school.

Unless of course... it's Saturday!

- Ba Zam! - Ha! Ha! Ha!

- Hey, Lizzie? Did I miss something?

- Derek told Casey she was late for school at 8:30 this morning.

She got all the way there before she figured it out.

- Ouh! I wish I could've seen the look on your face.

- You can. Derek taped it! - Nice! Nice!

- George! - Yeah, George, isn't this

where you reprimand Derek for his juvenile behavior?

- You think that's juvenile?

How about super gluing your teacher's beakers to his desk?

- Oh! Or whoopee cushioning every seat in math class.

- You did that?

- I didn't. - Dad did.

- Ah, Mom, you married... a prankster?

- Say it ain't so! - I... I had no idea!

- I am not a prankster.

It was just a little hobby I had in high school...

university... law school... now sometimes work.

- Dad, you're being modest.

He is a master prankster.

It's my responsibility to keep up the family tradition.

- That's what you choose to be responsible about?

- Relax. Pranking you is just a side project.

My real genius is saved for school.

- Mom, are these sweet potatoes? - No. They're regular, honey.

- Then why are they sweet?

- Okay. Someone put sugar in the saltshaker.

- Don't look at me! That's kids' stuff.

- Ah, little kids' stuff. - Gotcha!

[Laughers] - Gimme five! Nice work, Marti!

- Way to go, Smarti! - Hey ho!

- You have inherited the Venturi prankster gene. - Yes!

[Electrical charge]

[Phone ringing] - [George]: I'll get it!

- Probably Derek prank-calling his own house.

- We should totally get back at them!

- Girls, the way to deal with pranksters like the Venturis

is to refuse to give them the satisfaction of reacting at all.

- Easy for you to say.

They didn't put itching powder in your soccer shorts.

I'd rather not talk about it.

- Hey, Nora! So that was your, ah, sister.

She's, ah, she's coming to stay with us this Friday.

- What? - Yeah, she said she needed a break from Harry.

- A break? But we just threw them a wedding three months ago!

George, why didn't you let me talk to her?

- Because, because...

I'm kidding!

She called to invite us for dinner next week.

- George, that's not funny! - What do you mean not funny?

You should have seen your reaction.

You... you were all pink and blotchy, and...

- Uh! George! How could you!

- Aaah... Oooh... Get a sense of humour!

- Way to not react, Mom!

- Be careful, Lizzie. The Venturis are on a roll.

[Sighing]

- Ew! Do you know where that's been?

- Yeah, on the toilet where you put it.

- Well ya can't blame a guy for trying.

- Can't blame a girl for figuring it out.

Ah! - [Edwin]: Gotcha!

- EDWIN!

- You're all wet.

- Yeah! From the toilet.

- Ew! How? - Really rather not talk about it.

- Just help me figure out how to get Edwin back.

- Lizzie, I know revenge is tempting, but we can't sink to their level.

- Casey, I got sprayed by the toilet.

How much lower can I sink?!

- Come on, you think I liked racing to school on a Saturday?

You think I liked begging the janitor to let me in a class to study?

- That wasn't part of the prank. - Okay, so the studying was my idea.

The point is, McDonalds are not pranksters.

And if we ignore the Venturis, they'll stop. Okay?

[Fart sound]

[Alarm clock]

DEREK!

DEREK!

Derek's student card?

Typical.

- Honey, aren't you going to be late for school?

And why are you wearing Derek's Orangutan T-shirt?

- Because my shirt drawer has been emptied by the orangutan

who sabotaged my clock, hid the towels and stole my make up.

- Is that why you're wearing Derek's deodorant?

- I'd rather not talk about it.

- Hi, Emily. Hi, jerk!

- Hey! You're wearing my shirt!

- Oh! [Students laughing]

And that's all my stuff!

- Rolling out the red carpet are we?

- Sorry, I was crazy late and I had to use my brother's deodorant

and... why am I telling you this Mister...

- Lassiter. The new principal.

- It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Lassiter.

- Casey McDonald is the most beautiful...

I-I mean best student at, ah, Thompson High.

- Really? Well, Ms. McDonald,

along with a strong academic performance,

I am a big believer in punctuality, grooming and, ah... tidiness.

You appear to be oh-for-three.

- Well, believe me, Mr. Lassiter, I believe in all those things too.

- She really does, sir!

- I'm, ah, glad to hear it. And tomorrow, I'll be glad to see it.

- Okay.

- And who are you? - [Tinker]: Derek Venturi.

He got to know the last principal very well.

- Oh! I look forward to the same opportunity. Very nice to meet you, young man.

- Likewise.

Way to impress the new guy with your deodorant shtick?

- How'd that go?

- Horribly! Lassiter seems tough.

- I hope Derek's careful breaking him in.

- I hope he's care-less and gets kicked out and sent away to military school

- SIR, DAD, SIR! HERE ON LEAVE, SIR!

- At ease, son. How's military school?

- GOT WHAT I DESERVED, SIR!

- Well, come on in. - SIR, NO, SIR!

LEAVE ENDS IN O-FIVE SECONDS SIR! I'LL RETURN IN SIX MONTHS,

SIR! - Dismissed.

- Paul, I just don't get what is so funny.

- What's so funny about what? - In general:

what is so funny? I mean I could make you laugh if I told you a joke.

Or I could laugh at you if you did something embarrassing.

Like the time you tipped back in your chair and fell over?

- Ha! Ha! Ha! You thought that was funny?

- No... Even though you landed with your head in the trash can.

- I got a banana in my ear! - Exactly my point.

It is sick to laugh at someone else's discomfort.

But at least that was an accident.

What about people who cause other people to embarrass themselves?

- Such as - a shot in the dark - Derek?

- Yes! - Uh-uh.

- How do I get him to stop pranking me? - Ignore him.

- I should do something to embarrass him so much

he will never prank again.

- Two wrongs do not make a right.

- Really? How bout two hundred wrongs? Including being born!

- I dunno if that's such a healthy way... to look at things.

- Are you okay? - Never better.

Session's over.

- Tinker, what are you doing?

- Can you believe it?

Lassiter brought his own stupid furniture.

I'm supposed to "feng shui" his office for him, but...

I have no idea what that means.

- Ah... I do. Um, maybe I could give you a hand?

- Yes! Please!

- Hi. Morning. Morning. - Good morning.

- Whaaaaaaaaat?

Attention, students.

I said attention!

I am missing the following personal items:

a three-drawer oak desk, a walnut carved credenza,

an executive orthopedic office chair,

and a coat rack... with a coat attached!

- A huge prank on Lassiter's first week in charge? That is bold.

- ... and punished.

I am not amused.

- Not amused? That is pure gold. - [Girls]: Go, Derek! Nice!

- I know... Nice one, man. - Yeah, totally epic.

Your boldest prank ever.

- What if I told you I didn't do it?

- You didn't do it.

Hey, everyone: Derek didn't do it!

- Yeah, way to go, man! You're not "the man".

- Ah, well, what can I say?

Somebody's gotta show Lassiter who really steers this ship, right?

- I don't believe this! Derek is getting kudos?

He won't get away with this!

- You're right.

He won't.

- So, did anything exciting happen in school today?

- Um, actually, yes. Someone hid the new Principal's furniture.

They found his coat rack on the roof covered in pigeon... stuff.

- Gross!

- Ah, sweet! - Do they know who did it?

- ♪ Derek, Derek, he's the man, he can do what no one can! ♪

- [George]: I would have thought it was better to test the waters

with a smaller prank, before going for the Big Kahuna.

- Actually, so would I.

- I would have thought it was better not to pull any pranks at all.

- Ye-- Look, Derek, I'm flattered you want to follow

in the old man's footsteps, but, ouh, that was too risky.

- Not to mention, wrong? - Yeah, that too.

I mean, the Principal's bound to find out.

- Actually, Derek already met with the new principal today.

So, how many detentions did you get 'Pranky'?

- None. - Lucky!

- And surprising. - Yeah, I mean, ah...

he just wants to meet with me first thing in the morning

so, ah, I can confess... or I get expelled.

- Oh... Derek.

- Yeah, and, uh... he wants to see you too.

- Me?

[Water spraying]

[Knocking] - Visiting hours are over.

- Are you okay? You look... worried.

- I'm not worried. Another day, another prank.

- But you didn't do this prank.

- Funny. You're the only one who believes me.

Weird thing is the prank has all my trademarks: brash, brave, kinda stupid.

And if I didn't know I didn't do it, I'd think I did do it.

So, there's only one logical explanation:

someone set me up. But who?

- You can't think of anyone who would love to get you back

for something you did to him? Or her?

- Pierce in our bio class.

He thought I put a frog in his lunch.

- Didn't you? - Of course.

Or, ah, Kalish in gym? He had that problem with, ah, the elastic in his shorts.

- But isn't there anyone else you delight in tormenting on a daily basis?

- Other than you? - No, not other than me: me!

- You? The girl who can't pick up a lamp

without calling a moving company?

You don't have the muscle.

- But I do have the nerve.

And I might have had an accomplice

who might have had a key to Mr. L.'s office

and permission to use the school's furniture dolly.

- Tinker Tomlin and you?

Impressive. For a rookie.

- You're-you're not mad? - Mad?

Why would I be mad?

My ridiculously high high school status

just got ridiculously higher.

- But aren't you worried about being expelled?

- No, cuz this time, I can tell the truth.

I'm innocent.

- Argh! Even when I pull something off, you win!

[Clicking]

- Dad. Relax. Everything is going to be fine.

- I am relaxed! Listen, I speak in court before judges all the time.

This guy's just a high school principal.

So why am I so nervous?

- Mister Venturi, glad you could come in today.

- It's my pleasure. I mean, not that this is pleasurable.

Believe me, I'm not happy to meet you.

I mean, under these circumstances.

Under normal circumstances, I mean, we could hang out. I'd love to.

We could maybe... We could maybe go bowling sometime-- - Dad!

- Yeah, right. Right.

So... So, we got a... Yeah, we got a little situation here.

- Or a big one, depending on your perspective.

- Well, I mean I'd just like you to know that, um,

I can vouch for my son's integrity.

- Hmm. Well, I'm afraid that doesn't hold much weight.

Unless, uh, these records refer to another George Venturi?

- Way to go, Dad!

- Isn't there a statute of limitations on that kind of... high-jinks?

- Nope.

So, Derek, what have you got to say for yourself?

- Psst! Casey!

- Tinker? What are you doing?

- I need to talk to you. I'm worried about Derek.

- Don't. We pull the prank of the year and he gets all the credit!

And he's gonna come up smelling like roses. Again!

- What do you mean?

- Derek's gonna deny he did it.

And because there's no evidence, he'll get off.

- That's why I'm worried, there is evidence: Derek's student card.

- Oh no!

It must have fallen out of the pocket of Derek's Orangutan shirt!

- You can't let him deny it! He has to confess or Mr. L. will expel him for sure.

- But he didn't do it! - I know he didn't!

- Well, I'm just going to have to tell Lassiter I did it and face the music.

- You can't! He'll know you had help.

I don't wanna get in trouble for a prank Derek didn't do!

- Well I've gotta do something before it's too late!

- Free Derek now!

- Oh no, are they already in there? - Yeah. I'm sitting vigil.

- Well I have to go in there and take the fall. - For something you didn't do?

Who knew you cared about Derek so much - or at all!

- Em, Derek didn't do it. I did it.

- No way! You would never do something like that!

- But I did do something like that! - Casey, this is serious!

If only Lassiter knew how much Derek means to the school.

- You're right, Em! I'll be right back.

Keep the faith!

- Free Derek now! [Clicking]

- So, ah...

I know it's important to tell the truth,

so what I'd like to say is...

I didn't do it.

- Um, Mr. Lassiter... Can I call you Fred?

- My name is Frank. - Okay, Frank--

- Mr. Lassiter to you.

- Mr. Lassiter, despite the fact that Derek is the son of a master prankster

and, ah, well, he is a master prankster in his own right...

if he said he didn't do it, I believe him. And I hope you do too.

- I wish I could. But the problem is,

I have evidence that Derek is the culprit.

This was found jammed in my credenza.

- My student card? - Hmm-hmm.

- Rookie mistake.

- Rookie? Uh-uh, you're no rookie.

- So I have no option but to...

[Cheering and drumming]

What the heckskey?

[Cheering and drumming]

- Yeah!

- ♪ We love you, Derek, yes we do! ♪ - Yeah, sing it, Emily!

- ♪ We love you, Derek And we'll be true ♪

♪ Oh, Derek, we love you! ♪

[Acclaiming]

- Mr. Lassiter? - Deodorant girl?

- Mr. Lassiter, we the students - and a few teachers -

are demonstrating to demonstrate to you

that Derek Venturi is a valued member of our community

and we would be heartbroken if he was expelled. - Yeah!

- We love you, Derek! - Yeah!

[Cheering]

- Derek goes, we all go! - [All]: Yeeeeeah!

- Well, I, ah...

I must confess, I've never seen such a heartfelt endorsement of a student before.

- Does that mean I can stay?

- No. [Sighs of deception]

What sort of principal would I be if I made exceptions to very serious rules?

- Ah, the best principal ever!

[Cheering]

- Mr. Lassiter rules! [Acclaiming]

- Oh, what the hecksey...

Derek stays! - Yeeeah!

[Cheering]

- Alright! - [Derek]: Thank you!

- So no punishment at all?

- Worse. Lassiter wants to use my popularity

to motivate other students, so I am now the "School Spirit Consultant".

- That's very cool.

- Sure it is. [Sighing]

- And, Casey, to stick up for your brother like that... that's very touching.

- Yeah. Yeah, it really was.

And, Derek, we still need to discuss why you lied in there.

- Okay, George, Derek didn't lie.

I'm the one who pulled the prank.

[All laughing]

- Oh, there she goes, sticking up for me again. Cheers to Casey!

- [All]: Cheers to Casey!

- Dribble glasses?

- Yeah! It was Lizzie's idea.

- Gotcha! - The McDonalds strike back!

- Wouh! [Victory song]

- Ah!

Ouh!

Closed Captioning by SETTE Ltée

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0