Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- "Keep on rockin'...

Derek."

Later. - Signing autographs already?

- What? I can't hear you -

'cuz the buzz on our band is deafening!

Dude, we are so going to win Clash of the Bands.

- But we've never played in public! And we don't have a lead singer!

Or really a band name! Or any talent, for that matter.

- Would you calm down, Captain Buzzkill? I've got a name for our band name:

D-Rock!

- Sick name, dude!

- Sheldon, where did you come from?

- I get asked that question a lot.

Anyway, so D-Rock is looking for a front man, huh?

- How did you know that? - 'Cuz I'm spying on you!

[Scary music]

Anyways, your singer search is over

'cuz Shlepper's got the sweetest pipes at Thompson High.

♪ La... mi... ♪

- Ah, sorry, Shlep. Position's filled.

- By who? - Ah... me.

- Well, that's coolio, you know, 'cuz I'm more of a solo artist.

Catch you guys later.

- You sing?

- As long as our amps are cranked, we're never gonna have to find out.

So rehearsal, my place, this afternoon?

Unless you'd rather avoid something.

- What - other than your singing? No.

- Chillz! Then get ready to rock my living room!

- Okay.

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

uld say something.

And if you're gonna sing, it should be about something.

And then there's Derek.

[Loud rock music]

- ♪♪ She said it was over, but it was not over! ♪

♪ She said it was over, but it was not over! ♪

♪ She said it was over, but it was not over! ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na! ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-yeah! ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! ♪♪

- Whoo...

- Oh... - Ah...

- Oh...

- Encore! Encore! Encore!

That was awesome!

- Yeah, that was awesomely... loud.

- My ears are still ringing!

- Yeah. It was cool when you all stopped playing.

...At the same time.

- Okay, more importantly though, how did we look?

- What'd you think, Casey?

- Oh, um, well, well, ah...

- C'mon... We can take it. - Okay...

You guys are awful. - What are you talking about?

They rocked! You need to get your hearing checked!

- What?

- Actually, this time and this time only,

Casey's totally right. We stink, guys.

There's no way I'm getting up and singing in front of people who actually matter.

- [All]: Hey!

- But the whole school thinks we're gonna win this thing, man!

We can't let our fans down! My Mom's even making t-shirts!

- Well, then we need a new singer by Monday

'cuz it ain't gonna be me.

- Back in the day, my band, "George in the Jungle,"

we had lead singer problems too after Alvin got mono.

- Dad...

please no more stories about the Stone Age of eighties rock.

- It wasn't the Stone Age, it was the golden age!

We knew how to rock, little man. And we had the mullets to prove it!

- Maybe D-Rock needs a female singer.

- Yeah, like Avril or Ashlee! - Or Daphne!

My imaginary friend!

She sings "Polly Wolly Doodle" all the day.

- Yeah, well, thanks for the input everyone,

but this is a serious, alt-rock-punk band,

not some soft-rock girl band.

- Like your 'na-na-na' lyrics were so serious.

- I don't care about lyrics. I care about finding a cool lead singer

who can stay in key and stay outta my way.

- You know, Casey has a good voice.

- A beautiful voice!

She was in every musical at our last high school!

- Oh, well! If we need a "Fiddler on The Roof", I'll give her a call.

Sam, this is an emergency band meeting, not a buffet.

- Sorry.

[Sighing]

- Dude, are those leather pants?

- I wish. They're vinyl and they don't breathe.

Ah, what are you guys wearing Monday?

- Clothes... that breathe.

- Ladies, can we talk wardrobe later?

Right now we have a lead-singer crisis.

- Forget the lead singer, man. D-Rock'll just be an instrumental group!

- But we can barely play our instruments. - So, man?

When the girls see me up there in my leatherish pants-

- Will you stop with the pants!

Now, my family has this idea that we go with a female singer.

- Yeah, like a rocker-babe! Yeah, great idea, man!

- It would take the focus off how bad we sound.

- Well, how's my favourite band? You guys need anything?

- Yeah, a good-looking female singer who's ready to front our band, like, um, now.

- Well, I'd be happy to scout some talent and hold auditions...

as your manager.

- [Classic voice]: ♪ She said it was over but it was not over ♪

♪ Yeaaaaaaaah! ♪ [Glass breaking]

- [Edwin]: Next.

- [Country voice]: ♪ She said it was over, baby, but it's not over ♪

- Next. Next. Next.

- ♪ She said it was over and, man, was it over- ♪

- Whoa!

Do you think this is funny? Derek is gonna kill me!

And then he's gonna fire me!

- I thought we were pretty good, man. - Ah, that's show biz...

- [Casey, in the shower]: ♪ For to see my Sal sing Polly Wolly Doodle all the day ♪

♪ Oh my Sal, she is a pretty gal ♪

♪ Sing Polly Wolly Doodle all the Day! ♪

- So, she was no good.

And then, finally, there's Lana Logan;

attractive, but a butter voice. - A butter voice?

- She's perfect, 'but her' voice.

- Edwin. I need a singer - now!

- Well, there is someone... - Great! How fast can she be here?

- Pretty fast.

- [Casey]: ♪ Singing Polly Wolly Doodle all the daaaaaaaay! ♪

♪ Polly Wolly Doodle all the day ♪

- I can't believe it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh - she's perfect.

- Let's talk business.

You have a relationship with Casey, right?

- Duh! She's my sister. - Yeah, well as Derek's manager,

I need you to get Casey to join D-Rock.

- Have you lost it? Casey would never do that.

- Well, she might - if you convince her. - What's in it for my client?

- Your client? Since when?

- Since now.

Casey's interests are my interests.

Working hard or hardly working?

- Ah... The first one?

- I knew it. Just like you always do when you're bummed.

- And what am I bummed about? - Sam.

Ever since you guys broke up, you've been in a slump.

- I'm not in a slump! Breaking up was the right thing.

Course it is hard to see him here all the time

and at school and not being his girlfriend anymore...

You're right - I am in a slump. - I know.

And I think the best way to bust out of that slump is to take a risk!

Do something you've always secretly wanted to do!

- Dye my hair blond?

- Better! Be the lead singer in D-Rock! What do you think?

- [Casey]: Ha! Ha! Ha! - [Edwin]: So what'd she say?

- After she stopped crying from laughing so hard, I think I heard a "No".

You're gonna have to sweeten the deal.

- What deal? - My deal.

- Lizzie's demanding artistic freedom, a band name change

and the deal breaker - a 'be nice' clause.

- Be nice? To who?

- To Casey. No insults, put-downs, shut-ups,

dirty looks, dirty jokes or sarcastic comments!

- So am I supposed to wear a muzzle?

- No, I put my foot down about the muzzle.

- Okay, well put your other foot down, cuz it's my band!

And I choose the name, I choose the music

and I choose not to 'be nice'!

- Fine! Then you choose to sing yourself.

- Okay - the band name change is a no-go, but we can live with that, right?

- I'm sorry, Liz, but I can't live with any of this.

- The idea of being in a band with Derek is ludicrous enough,

but how am I gonna get over Sam if I have to see him even more?

- Cuz maybe you guys will become friends?

- Well... I would really like that.

- Then take that risk! Find your inner rocker-chick!

Are you with me?

- Initial here for the 'artistic freedom' clause.

Here for the 'no-name change' clause.

Right here for the 'be nice' clause.

- [Nora]: Oh, this is so exciting!

- Done!

[Bass]

- Ah, what's going on?

- It's a band rehearsal. - Ha - I didn't call a rehearsal.

- I did! - Is that food?

- Mm-hm. - No.

- First of all, my band only eats take-out, not rabbit food.

And second of all, my band never rehearses before noon!

- Well, our band has a lot of rehearsing to do before tomorrow!

- Who do you think you are?? - Ahh-ah-ah... Be nice, remember?

- What's that?

- Lyrics for our song. I took the thin concept

of your 'Na-na-na' number and added some real content.

- I was contented before. - Oh, c'mon!

Your song was shallower than a wading pool.

Besides, you promised me artistic freedom.

- Yeah, well, you're 'artistically free' to leave any time.

- Fine. If that's how you feel, then I'll be in my room.

- Well, it'd 'be nice' if you stayed there!

- That was a great rehearsal, dude.

- Totally, man! That was our first band fight!

We're so rock and roll!

- My client is very upset. - My client is very annoyed.

- Well, your client has violated the 'be nice' and the artistic freedom clause.

- And your client has violated the 'don't tell Derek what to do' clause.

- You're making up clauses! - No, I'm not!

Check the contract - comes right after the Santa clause.

- Fine - go ahead! Make up all the clauses you want,

'cuz I'm advising my client to go solo.

- Wait! We're family.

There's gotta be some room for give and take.

- Yeah, I agree.

Whenever you're ready to give, I'm ready to take.

- The kid plays hardball.

- Yeah, it's just all coming back, so...

anyway, anyway I'm getting off track here, but -

I'm on stage, you know, with "George In The Jungle."

The whole school - the whole school is just going wild!

It was like "Waaah! George! George! George!"

- Kill me. Kill me now. - [George]: Meant to be there.

Anyway, the bass player turns around and he says "Hey, man"...

- Sorry, bro', but Lizzie's a tough negotiator.

You gotta let Casey try her song.

- Absolutely not! I'd rather listen to Dad relive his rocker past.

- You know I jammed with Hendricks. - You jammed with Jimi Hendrix?

- Floyd Hendricks. No relation. But man could he ring that cowbell!

- Oh, that is so cool! - [George]: He had them!

- Fine! We'll sing Casey's lame song.

♪♪♪

- ♪♪ We said it was over, but I never wanted it to end... ♪

♪ We said it was over, now it's hard to be your friend... ♪

♪ We said it was over, so let's not try and pretend... ♪

♪ But it's hard to see you near me... ♪

♪ Though our hearts will one day mend ♪♪

So? Were you guys feeling it?

- If by 'it' you mean 'sick' - yeah. I was feeling it.

- Derek?

- The 'be nice' clause prohibits me from speaking freely.

- Well... I liked it.

- Thanks, Sam. That means a lot.

- Hey, Ralphy, wanna be my new best friend?

- Look, I know the song needs a little work.

I was thinking of adding "vultures of love sing from above..."

Something like that!

- Yeah, whatever. Let's talk about your wardrobe, okay?

Now I'm thinking the skimpier and tighter, the better, huh?

- Is that why you wanted me to be your front woman? So I can wear revealing clothes?

- No! - Ew!

- Yeah! - I object to being objectified!

If you need me I will - - You'll be in your room.

- Ralph, next time, just keep your sexist comments to yourself.

- Hey! Don't talk like that to my new best friend!

- Thanks to your new best friend, we no longer have a lead singer.

- Can I be your singer? Do you guys know "Happy And You Know It?"

[Loud rock]

- Hey.

- Look, it - it was nice of you to come up here to apologize.

- Ha! Ha! That's not why I'm here. Look, just forget Ralph

and I'll do your song as long as you let us crank it up a bit.

- What do you mean? - I mean this is a rock band!

Not some choir!

So, you gotta stop thinking the music and start feeling it!

- I can't stop thinking! I'm not you!

- Okay, well then try moving while you're thinking

'cuz we don't need a statue on stage!

- Derek, I want people to focus on the music,

not on me getting... funky.

- Ha! Trust me you'll never be funky.

- Look, it's your choice;

we can sing it my way, or no way.

[Loud rock]

[Soft music]

- [Girl]: Sounds great. I'll see ya later. - Sorry.

Dude, I been thinking. Ah, maybe we should blow off this band thing today.

- Uh, I don't think we can, dude.

Our new manager? He's very enthusiastic.

- Hey, guys! Can't wait to see "D-Rock" rock!

- Me too! You guys are my only real competition!

- What about the other bands? - You guys scared them off.

Now there's only, ah, "Bobby the Bongo King"

and the "accordion stylings of Stewie Stephenson"!

[Moaning] Rock on! Up top.

- Dude, our only competition is Sheldon.

We may actually win this thing!

- Please! We'll be lucky not to get laughed off the stage.

- Paul, I am in a great mood.

Not even you can burst my bubble!

- Ah - are you calling me a bubble-burster?

- Yes. But you'll be proud to know that Derek and I are working together.

Well, actually playing together - in a band!

- So this is like a... a brother/sister act?

- No, it's Derek's band, I'm just the lead singer.

But I've steered the group in a more tasteful musical direction.

- And Derek is down with that?

- He has to be! Cuz I'm the only singer he could find!

Ah - I have the power and I am not afraid to use it!

- So, this is about who's in control?

- No! It - it's about artistic integrity.

- Okay, so if this is Derek's band,

shouldn't you be singing Derek's music?

- There you go, bursting bubbles again.

It's always the same thing with you:

I come in thinking one thing and I leave thinking something else!

How does that make you feel? - Um... Like I'm doing my job?

Sorry.

- This is silly!

When we went out we talked, like, twenty times a day.

What's wrong with us?

- Nothing. It's just... weird now.

- But I thought that, when we broke up, we could still be friends.

Not two people who avoid each other.

- I am your friend.

At least, look - I want to be, but...

- Well, as my friend, I need you to be honest with me.

You know how I kind of convinced the band to sing my song?

Was that bad?

- You know, I didn't think so, but Derek does.

- The band is D-Rock.

So Sam, my friend, what do I do now?

♪♪♪

[Laughs]

- Next up, the act you've all been waiting for: D-Rock!

[Cheering]

- You ready to rock? - No, but I'm done puking.

- That is so rock and roll, man! Whew - let's go!

- [Crowd]: D-Rock! D-Rock! D-Rock! D-Rock!

[Cheering]

- One, two...

- ♪ We said it was over, but I never wanted it to end... ♪

- I want it to end! - ♪ We said it was over, now it's hard to be your friend... ♪

- We want the real D-Rock!

[Acclamations] - You know what?

So do I!

Hit it, guys!

- [Sam]: One, two... one, two, three go!

[Rock music]

- ♪♪ We said it was over and it was not over! ♪

♪ We said it was over and it was not over! ♪

♪ We said it was over and it was not over! ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na! ♪

♪ We said it was over and it was not over! ♪

♪ Ooouh-ooouh-ooouh ♪

♪ We said it was over and it was not over! ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na! ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na! ♪♪

- For our last act, Sheldon Shlepper singing an original song.

[Weak applauses]

[Soft piano]

- ♪♪ [Beautiful voice]: It's three o'clock on a Friday ♪

♪ The cool kids shuffle on out ♪

♪ There's a girl standing next to me ♪

♪ Making a face like I'm such a lout ♪

♪ She says, Sheldon, get away from me ♪

♪ That's usually how it goes ♪

♪ Then I'm sad though I'm sweet ♪

♪ And I look at my feet ♪

♪ What I'm thinking nobody knows ♪

♪ La da da de da ♪

♪ La da da de da ♪

♪ La da da de da la la ♪

♪ La da da de da ♪

♪ La da da de da la la ♪

- ♪ La da da de da ♪ - [Girl]: We love you, Sheldon!

- [Boy]: Sheldon, you the man! - ♪ La da da de da la la ♪♪

- I can't believe we lost the contest to Sheldon Shlepper.

- I can't believe I lost my groupies to Sheldon Shlepper.

I mean, some of them.

- And a one and a two and a three...

Hit it, Nora! - ♪ If you're happy and you know it, bang the drums! ♪

- Aha! - ♪ If you're happy and you know it, smash the keys! ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it... ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it rock on! ♪

[Cheering and music]

- Hey, D-Rock! Do you want to jam?

- No, I'm kind of - I'm kind of rocked out.

- Yeah, um... maybe later - or never.

- One, two, three, four!

- Come on Lizzie! - Yeah!

Closed Captioning by SETTE ltée

- ♪ I don't play guitar, but I pretend like I do! ♪

- Go on the mark. - Ow!

- Oh, Greg - happy birthday. - Yeah, thanks, dude.

- ♪ Living life with Derek! ♪

♪ Living life with Derek! ♪

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