Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- C'mon, Edwin! Stop flipping!

I'm gonna have a seizure.

- More exciting than what's on TV.

- May I? - Yes!

- Fine, but no makeover shows.

Or celebrity gossip. - Deal.

- I'm home!

- Lame, lamer, lamest...

Hullo! I was here first.

- Actually you were here third.

- Something I have to watch.

- Oh, let me guess.

Sports or cleavage.

- Women's Beach volleyball. Best of both worlds.

- You are such a pig! Give that back!

- Fine. Want the remote?...

It's all yours.

- Ucch... hand it over.

- Okay... catch!

- Derek, help!

- Ooops.

[ Crashing sound ] - Oh!

- Are you okay?

- No, I'm not.

I hurt my ankle. And it's all Derek's fault.

- Keep it down.

- Ah! Ah!

- Ha!

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

So you'd think Derek'd be feeling some guilt

about being the reason that I hurt my ankle.

Well, you'd be wrong. And that just isn't right.

[ Marti shouting like an ambulance alarm ]

- Doctor Marti's here. Where does it hurt?

- Ow! Don't touch!

- What happened? - Ask your big brother.

- Derek, you're in big trouble.

We may have to operate.

I'll get my scalpel.

[ Still imitating an ambulance alarm ]

- Marti makes a good point.

I don't think our parents

are gonna be too pleased when they get the crime report.

- Crime report? What crime?

- Your crime, Derek. You're responsible for what happened.

- What are you talking about? It was an accident.

- Oh, that's one way of looking at it.

Then there's what actually happened.

You greedily grabbed the remote from me.

I politely asked you to return it.

That's when the crime was perpetrated.

Item one: You threw the remote too hard,

thus forcing me off balance.

Item two...

I desperately flailed and you purposely ignored me.

Item three... I reached out for help and...

you reached out for the remote. Ah!

To think, in my time of need,

you chose to save the remote over me.

Now, I'm no lawyer,

but that sounds to me like you were both negligent and malicious.

Plus, I have two eyewitnesses,

who will testify on my behalf.

- C'mon, Casey!

I told you it was an accident.

- Ow! - Okay, it wasn't an accident.

But... but you can't tell Dad 'cause I just got paroled

from that chandelier incident at Sam's last week.

- Well, I guess I could swing this as an accident.

If there's something in it for me.

A gift of some kind?

- Name your price. I pay, you no say, huh?

Of course I'm broke so it'll have to be something I already have.

But, whatever you want - just

don't connect my name to your ankle.

- [To herself]: My pain -- my gain.

Fine. Deal.

[ Sound of a crowd cheering ]

[ Ding! ]

- Does it hurt when I do this?

- Ow, yes! - I haven't done anything yet.

- Oh...

- Ooh.

Ahh. It looks like a bad sprain, though.

You know what, we'll keep it elevated until we see the doctor.

- Thanks, Mom.

- How did you do this, anyway?

- I, um, came into the room and I tripped over the rug.

- I'll go get you a tensor bandage.

- [Whispering]: You owe me big time!

- Here, Casey.

I made you a sandwich. P.B. & J -- no crusts.

- Ah, thanks, Lizzie.

Oh... You used chunky peanut butter?

- No good? - Oh, no -- it's fine,

don't worry about it.

- No, it's okay. You were nice to me when I sprained

my knee playing soccer. I'll smooth out the chunks.

- Ah, thanks Lizzie. You're so sweet.

- Ah, hi kids.

I came as soon as I could.

And how is our patient?

- I'm fine. Really.

- Mmm, I think you could use a bit more elevation on that leg.

Um, Derek,

give Casey your chair.

- Oh. Of course.

Anything to get Casey up on her feet again.

- I'll take that...

- Okay?

- Thank you Derek.

There we go. [ Moaning ]

- Thanks, George. This is good.

- Okay!

- Ah, clicker please.

Here you go, sweetheart.

You watch what you like.

- But Derek and I can watch the hockey game tonight, right?

- Ow!

- Or we could catch the highlights.

- Thank you.

- Okay, you've got my chair. We're even.

- Hardly.

That was George's idea, not mine.

You still owe me for damages.

When I've decided what I want from you, I'll let you know.

- Fine! Enjoy my chair.

Oh... and while you do,

just think of all the butt mileage

and gas I've sunk into it.

- Ooh...

[ Crowd cheering ]

- Yeah, I still want them.

See you after school.

- I just saw Casey sitting in your chair!

- Merely a ploy to amuse the enemy,

to keep her from taking something I really want.

- And what do you really want?

- Something I don't have but will be getting very soon

once I, ah...

...secure the financing.

- How do I know you're good for it?

- You don't.

Now, you're sure there's seventy bucks in this thing?

- Yeah, well it's seventy-two fifty-three.

Now let's talk interest.

- Ha!... Not interested. Now out!

We never had this conversation. Got it?

- Yeah.

[ Derek breaks the piggy bank. ]

Uh, you'll pay me back right?

- Yeah! Sure!

- You know, you really don't have to do all this, Lizzie.

- What are little sisters for? Besides I owe you, remember?

- You don't owe me and I'm sure you have better things to do.

- Well... I do have math homework--

- Oh. Well, if you have to go--

- But if you need me to stay...

- Oh, don't worry. Derek can take over.

- Good luck.

- So, uh...

made any decisions on payback yet?

- What's the rush. Besides, I don't want to pick something now

and find out I should have picked something better, right?

- Right.

But you must have some thoughts?

- Well, I do like your stereo.

- Done. - Oh, wait, wait.

You ever get those speakers fixed?

- No. - Forget it.

Maybe you should just write a list of all your things

and then I can decide.

- Get real. You've got until tomorrow after school,

or the deal's off.

I'll take my chances with the punishment.

- What was all that about?

- Your brother's gonna pay for what he did to me.

- Pay? With my money?!

- I thought he was broke!

- Not anymore. - Why did you give him your money?

- I don't know, but we never even had this conversation.

- Ow!

Lizzie! - Yeah?

- I need you to do one more thing!

- You know it was pretty great to see the kids helping Casey out at dinner.

- I know.

You see Derek pass her the peas?

- Yeah. - He usually just passes gas. - Ho! Ho!

- That was quite a breakthrough.

- Well, I hope it sticks.

You know, I know it's just a pipe dream,

but wouldn't it be great if we could live in a house

where all of our kids got along.

- Maybe we should buy them something - a little positive reinforcement.

- Can you pick up the pace? We're going to be late.

- I can't go any faster -- I'm already known as a klutz.

- You'll be fine. Just go!

- Ohhh! Ohhh!

- 'Kay - you know what?

Don't worry, nobody saw that, 'kay? 'Cept Sam.

- Sam?

- Are you alright?

- Ah, much better.

- Well I see you're in good hands. Hi, Sam. Bye Sam.

- So, what's up with these crutches?

- Ah, my ankle.

Derek didn't tell you what he did?

- Derek put you on crutches? How?

- Wait... What did Derek do?

- Um, well...

I was watching TV and Derek grabbed the remote from me

and threw it at me like some weapon of mass destruction...

- No way! - That's awful!

- Dude, did you push Casey off the couch and break her ankle?

- You really think I would do that?

- Well, actually...

- Please, it's just a sprain and Casey's looking

for some attention - I guess she got it.

But... I'll explain later. I have to go pick up the White Stripes Tickets.

- You got those? Sick!

- Now don't tell Casey about them

and it's gonna be double the price.

- I can't afford that. - I'm a nice guy,

I'll loan you the difference. Now, ah, let's talk interest.

- Interest? What?

- So I'm, I'm guessing this accident's been a bit of a setback for you?

- Actually, it's been great!

I'm finally getting some attention at home.

And at school I'm not 'Derek's lame step-sister'!

And ever since I told people how I got hurt -- which had

the added bonus of making Derek look bad...

- Oh. I see.

- People have started treating me like a mini-celebrity.

Like Derek's cute friend Sam was nice to me

and a girl held my books when I went to the bathroom.

- Mmm. - A few kids have even given me cards!

People feel sorry for me.

- Mmm. Okay, and this is ah... this is a good thing?

- It's awesome!

A well-wisher even bought my lunch today!

Ah! And I owe it all to Derek.

- Okay, so this has brought you two closer together?

- Not at all!

That worm is gonna squirm!

- You know if you give love, you get love?

- Things I can take from Derek: Headphones?

Been in his ears.

Bike? Been under his butt.

- I spoke to Edwin like you asked.

My informant tells me that Derek held up his bank.

Seventy-two dollars and fifty three cents.

But he doesn't know what it's for.

- Seventy two bucks? Uh, he must be buying something good.

And he doesn't want me to know about it?

Well whatever it is, it's so mine!

- How do you know he's buying something good?

- Logic: A) He wants me to lie about my ankle.

B) He's accessed his line of credit.

C) He's willing to part with everything else.

And D) He wants me to choose now,

so he can be free to buy his whatever-it-is.

Just need to find out what it is before Derek

gets home -- to make sure it's something I want.

- How are you gonna do that?

- With help... From you?

- Casey no...

- C'mon, it's the last thing I'll ask you to do. I promise.

[ Lizzie sighing ] Please?

- [Derek]: Hey, what's up Marti monster?

- [Marti]: Making pictures.

- Ugh. Disgusting.

Jackpot!

[ Crowd cheering ]

[ Cheering even louder ]

- Time's up. What's it gonna be?

Anything you want. Name it.

- Fine... I'll take your...

oh, in fact I've already got your...

White Stripes tickets.

- It's not my fault! All I told her was that you took my money!

Ah!...

- First, she takes the remote!

Then, my chair! And now my tickets?

We must take the enemy down!

- Too bad you didn't get hurt first.

- What did you say?

- I mean, if you'd got hurt first,

then Casey would owe you.

- So that's why I keep you around, Edwin.

I can't get hurt first,

but I can get hurt second.

We've got her.

- We?

Please, I just want my seventy two dollars and a life back!

- You help me get my tickets and we'll talk about you getting your money.

[ Crowd madly cheering ]

- We're going out for a while,

so call if you need anything, okay?

- Oh, and Derek? Keep an eye on Marti, alright?

She's upstairs making a collage.

Just make sure she doesn't gluestick her lips together again.

- Don't worry. Everything's under control.

- Stupid Casey and her stupid ankle.

She promised me she'd stop bossing me around,

but she guilted me into making her another stupid sandwich!

- I hear ya' sister.

Thanks to Casey's stupid ankle, I've gotta hurt stupid Derek

and make it look like stupid Casey did it.

- Good luck.

- [Casey]: Lizzie! Don't forget the tomato!

- You too.

- Take that!

- Uhhh... where's my wallet?

- Hi! Just playing hide and seek.

- With who? - Myself.

- Uh, well I hope you find yourself.

Thank you.

- Lizzie, is my sandwich ready yet?

Outta my way. - Outta my way.

[ Crashing sound ]

- Wha'?

- You chickened out. You dodged it!

- Edwin, you're fired!

- No, I quit! - Get back here!

[ Crowd cheering ]

- Swiss cheese on rye with extra tomato.

- No mayo?

I was watching that!

Give it back or I'll...

- You'll what? You've already got my everything.

My chair. My tickets! My life!

But you won't take my TV!

- Here. - One more thing, steal the remote from Derek.

- No! You do your own dirty work! I quit!

- Ah... - Huh!

That's it!

- Hey!

- Mmmm.

Not bad. Tomato's a bit soggy.

- Give that back! Or I'll...

I'll tell George and Mom what really happened to me!

- Go ahead.

Lizzie just reminded me I have something on you.

- Please, you've got nothing.

- Forcing an innocent Lizzie...

...to sneak into my room

to steal tickets from her own brother?

- Jackpot.

- Nora and Dad will love that story.

So will the whole school.

Course if you gave my tickets back...

- Forget it! - Fine.

But you might wanna hire some P.R. people

to fix your rep after I tell Sam.

Or maybe I'll just I.M. the whole school?

- No!

- Oh! Ah!

Oh! Ah!

Oh! Oh!

Ah ha! Oh, my knee!

- Nice try.

- Oh, ahh!

Ah, ah!

You are so gonna pay!

I can't wait

to tell everyone at school you did this because of a sandwich!

- No! You can't!

People in school actually cared what happened to me.

They bought me a bear! [ Whimpering toy sound ]

- Cute.

[ Whimpering toy sound ]

- Derek I'm... I'm sorry I made you pay for what you did.

I should've just let it go.

- Yeah, you should have. But I won't.

- I'll give you your tickets back.

Yeah! Anything you want,

just, just please don't tell anyone I did this to you!

Please! - Oh, that's a start.

- What do you mean that's a start?

- Ah!

I could be out for the entire hockey season.

The emotional pain alone.

- Fine! Whatever you want.

- Okay.

Oh, and another sandwich. Hold the tomato.

- Come on! I'm on crutches.

- Oh and, ah... give me your crutches.

- You can have one.

- Ah!

[ Crowd cheering ] Watch this.

[ Mad cheers and applause ] [ Ding! Ding! ]

- Ah, man.

How'm I gonna do this?

- I need paper!

- Ah, I'm a little busy Marti. There's paper everywhere. Just take some.

- Okay.

♪ I'm making a picture. ♪

♪ I'm making a picture, I'm making a beautiful... ♪

- Where's my sandwich?

- It's coming!

- ♪ I'm making a beautiful picture! ♪

♪ I'm making a beautiful picture. ♪

- Oh, can I have the phone and something to drink?

- Ah, come on! It's right there.

- Hello?

World -- guess what Casey did.

- Here!

You are so immature.

- Hey Sam, ahh...

Yeah, yeah, I'll be there. On crutches.

It's a long story.

I need the tickets, now!

I'll see you there in an hour.

- I used them as my bookmark.

Marti!

Marti did you take the tickets?

- Marti took the tickets?

- I'm making art! [ Sound of an alarm ]

- Marti! Marti - NO!

- Hey!

- Marti, where are the tickets?

- I made Casey a get well picture.

Like it?

- Noooooo!

- You're mean!

- I can't believe she ruined the tickets!

- I can't believe I fell for your fake twisted knee!

- Hey, what's going on?

- Hah, Marti cut up the tickets.

- No, I mean your ankle.

- Oh hey! I can walk!

Who knew? - You knew!

- I didn't! I swear! I just didn't test it.

- So I did all that stuff for you for nothing!

It's my payback time!

- And what about my payback time?

Where's my seventy two fifty three?

- Well, Sam was gonna pay me back for his White Stripes tickets,

but since they're gone... you're out of luck.

- No, you're out of luck.

And I bet Dad and Nora would agree with me.

Unless...

- Here you go.

- Hmm. Needs more butter.

- And I could use more ice.

- What's that?

- Nothing! Room temperature works too.

- Hey everyone, ah...

we've got a little surprise for you.

- Hey, look who's walking!

- Yeah, we know. What a miracle!

- Ah, so, what's this about a surprise?

- Well, we are really proud

about how you guys rallied together to help Casey.

- Mm hm.

So, ah, we thought we'd all go

to the waterslide park next week.

- [Both]: Whoo! - Oh yeah!

- Waterslides? Count me out.

- Ah, yeah, me too. Might not be good for my leg.

- Oh, yeah.

- You know what... you both are too cool for slides.

So I guess you'll just have to settle for these.

- Oh! - White Stripes tickets? Where did you get these!

- Who cares? You guys rock! I'm calling Emily!

- Not 'til I speed dial Sam. - Ah-ah-ah-ah!

We only have four tickets. And we're going with you.

- Yeah! So are you ready to rock!

- Yeah!

- I forced Lizzie to steal! Ground me! Now!

- It's my fault Casey fell. Ground me!

- Uh...

- [Foreign accent]: Doctor Marti here. Where does it hurt?

Doctor Marti here. Where does it hurt?

I know, it's so hilarious!

Let's talk about your ankle. What happened?

Closed captioning: Technicolor, Creative Services - Montreal

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0