Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- Horatio, do you like your new room?

- Why shouldn't he? He's got the cage to himself

and room to exercise.

We're the ones trapped like rats with no room to breathe!

- Don't worry. We'll find space for everything.

- True. The desk could go on top of the bed.

- At least Mom's really happy. And George is really nice.

- Mom is delusional and George being nice doesn't make up

for his three annoying children. Especially the eldest. [ Music, very loud ]

And loudest... Not again!

Can you please turn it down! Derek!

- Who are you?

- I'm the stepsister you've always wanted.

- Really? 'Cuz you look like the ugly stepsister from Snow White.

- That's Cinderella, you freak.

Now could you turn down the music?

- Oh, well, why didn't you say so?

[ Music stops ] You know, never had any noise complaints

when Edwin had that room before he was forced upstairs

to make room for you guys.

- Room? What room?

There is no room in our room.

- Ah, sure there is.

No, there isn't.

You should really get rid of some of your junk.

- Get out!

- Is that really any way to treat your new brother?

- ♪ It used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school ♪

♪ A new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ Well this is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

- Okay, so there are two ways to play this.

I suck it up and make the best of a bad situation,

or I gently make my feelings known

and suggest that something should be done about it...

Like immediately.

"Dear Mother. I know you're happy with your new husband,

and I'm happy for you.

However, I myself am not happy.

Your new husband has three children who...

A: Don't respect private property."

Marti, please give me back my toothbrush.

- Say please.

- I just did... - No!

- "B: Don't respect privacy." Edwin! Don't you people knock

in this house?

- What?

Aaah!

Aaaaaah!

- "And C: Don't respect shared public spaces."

- Smarti. Oh, ahhh.

- Put me down, Smerek!

- Sorry, Smarti. You mind?

- Uh, yeah. I was here first.

- Ah, well, suit yourself.

- Ah!

"Yours in Purgatory, Casey."

- Oh, hi Case!

- Ah, Mom, I left a letter

on your dresser since you don't reply to my emails.

- Like the one with the subject line 'DIVORCE GEORGE'?

- Yes. No offense, George.

- None taken. How is it going up there?

- Well, since you asked:

A, there's no room for my desk.

B, Derek's an idiot. Again, no offense.

- Again, none taken.

- Casey, please, no more lists.

Let's tackle one thing at a time.

- Tell you what, I'll come upstairs after dinner

and see what I can do about the desk, but, um,

Derek, uh... he's more of a long-term project.

- What's all this stuff?

- They're called textbooks. You use them to study.

- Study what? School hasn't even started yet.

Oh, wait, lemme guess:

you are a total keener.

- If you mean I take learning seriously, then yeah.

- Oh good. Since we're in the same grade

you won't mind making two copies of everything you do.

- Please, it's bad enough we're going to the same school -

we're not handing in the same work!

- Seems kind of selfish, don't ya' think?

- Computer game.

- Not now, Marti. I gotta get organized for school tomorrow.

- Computer game right now!

Please!

- It's the one where you put the apples in the basket.

Pretty thin concept, but the game-play's solid.

Keeps her busy for days.

- I wanna play!

- Okay.

- How's my favourite drama queen?

- I'm having trouble coping with the present situation,

which incidentally, sucks.

- Well you could always talk to the school guidance counselor.

I mean, he sounded really nice on the phone.

- School guidance counselor?

Please. He's probably like half-time guidance counselor, half-time gym teacher.

- Computer Science, actually. Maybe I can help.

C'mon, make room for Momma.

I think we're getting bigger.

- And my room is getting smaller.

- Ah, try and give it a chance.

- Mom, I've tried to give everything a chance!

You and George dating, you and George getting married,

you and George making me move! Why can't we just go back to our old life?

- Well, you know we can't go back now,

and besides... this is your new home.

- No, it's George, Derek, Edwin and Marti's home, Mom.

Look around! Lizzie and I are crammed in this room

and it's a three-ring circus in the hallway.

Do you really expect me to work out there?

- I'll talk to George.

- This is the perfect spot for your desk.

It's our old rec room.

The boys don't use it any more

and, ah, Marti plays in the upstairs hallway.

- Smart kid.

- You'd have total privacy for your schoolwork.

- Ah, it's a little... depressing.

- Oh, it's not like you'd sleep down here. Just a place to study.

- George, the problem is that I find basements souldestroying.

Especially this one... No offense.

- None taken...

again.

Morning.

- I made scrambled eggs for everyone!

- Ah, great.

- Oooh... Edwin? Would you like some eggs?

- Thanks, but I'm a cereal kind of guy.

- Ah, Edwin, Nora made eggs.

- Ah, dad, I like cereal.

- Lizzie, would you like some?

- Thanks, but I feel like cereal too.

- Ha.

- Ah, no.

- What are you doing?

- It's for your own good. These are Derek's corn puffs.

If you want to be here for tomorrow's breakfast, I'd pick a different cereal.

- Good morning Casey. I made eggs!

- Ah... - Whoa! What's with the hair?

- Someone was hogging the shower. I'll just have cereal.

- Marti, would you like some eggs?

- Cats don't eat eggs, unfortunately.

- Lemme guess? They eat cereal.

- Meow!

- Meow.

- You know, I should go. I have to get a locker

before school starts. - Ooh! Well! Have a great first day.

- Thanks.

- Aren't you gonna wait for, ah, Derek?

- Uh, I think we have different schedules.

- Hah. - Bye. - Bye!

- Ed.

- Hah! I don't suppose you'd like some eggs.

- Sure.

- Oh, hey! Those are for everyone!

- Sorry!

- Hi! I just need a locker.

- We're short on lockers. You'll have to share 'till one frees up.

- But I really need my own locker and it's my first day!

- Why didn't you say so?

Of course you get your own locker!

And did you get your welcome-to-school fruit basket?

- No, I--

There is no fruit basket.

- No.

- And I have to share a locker.

- That's right!

- So you must be my new lockermate.

- Uh, yeah. I'm Casey.

Sorry about this.

- I'm Emily. And don't be sorry, they're just textbooks.

So where'd you go before?

- Fletcher Academy. It was an all-girls private school.

- How can you stand a school without guys?

Especially hotties like him.

He must'a got cuter over the summer.

- No.

You mean Derek?

- You heard of him?

Well, I guess when you're the coolest guy in school...

- Derek's considered cool? By who?

- Everybody.

He's my next door neighbour, but he doesn't really know I exist.

Hi Derek.

- Sup...

- I think I got cuter over the summer, too.

- Figures he'd ignore me.

- Don't take it personally, okay.

It took me three years to get a 'sup'.

- No. I'm your neighbour too. Derek's my stepbrother.

- You're Derek's new stepsister?

You are SO lucky!

- I am so not lucky at all.

[ Knocking ]

Ah, hi, I have an appointment at three,

but I don't need it anymore. - Oh, no, no -

you must be, ah... Casey MacDonald. Hi, I'm, ah, Paul Greebie.

- Paul Creepy?

- Please, just call me Paul.

- Nice meeting you Paul, but I've got a lot on my mind so-

- Really? Like what? - To be honest,

I don't think a guidance counselor is really what I need.

I'm... complicated. - Well, look, you're here now -

I mean, we could just chat for a few minutes.

- Thanks for the offer, but I don't have anything prepared.

- Me neither, really. C'mon, c'mon. C'mon in.

- Okay.

Ah, so, ah...

what do you want to chat about?

- It's your call. Um, anything new?

- Huh! You mean like two new stepbrothers,

a new stepsister, a new step-dad, a new house,

a new school and trying to make new friends?

- Uh, yeah, like that. Wow, that's ah...

quite a lot of changes, hunh?

- Yup, and all because my Mom fell in love with George.

- Ah... you, you don't like George?

- No-no I do. But why do I have to live in his house

with his stinkin' kids who don't want us there any more than we want to be there?!

And why would they? There isn't enough space for us all in that house!

- It sounds like you're... pretty overwhelmed.

Maybe you need to take control of the space situation in some... small way.

- Small isn't my style,

but I think you might be on to something, Paul.

I'll... see you next Thursday?

- I'll be here.

[ Bell ringing ]

- Ach! Is this one of your family traditions?

- No, but new traditions are good

for a new family, don't you think? - How so?

- Derek, just let Casey speak.

- As a result of moving here, I've lost my home, my friends,

and my school, so I really feel that I need

something that's just... mine. Like a room of my own.

You understand that, right kiddo? - Sure.

- Yeah, well we are hoping to buy a new house in a few years, Casey,

but until then, we're a little short on bedrooms.

- Yeah, what about reworking the current bedroom arrangements?

- How? I mean, Edwin's already stuck in attic-prison.

What? Do you want to kick Marti out of her room too? - Hey!

- No, what I'd like is your room.

- You want my room? - Nobody else is even allowed

in Derek's room -- and you want him out?

- Gosh, Casey, that does seem a little radical.

You see, Derek's had that room his whole life.

- I mean I can't even believe we're having this discussion.

My room's off limits.

- Besides, where would he go? Share a room with Lizzie? - What?

- Smerek can stay with me! - Oh... no thanks, Smarti. - How 'bout sharing

the attic with Edwin? It's a way bigger room than Lizzie and I have.

- Hey! It's cool with me.

- Not- cool with me.

Case closed.

- Can't we at least discuss the idea?

- You know, it can't hurt to discuss it.

- I really feel that Derek moving in with Edwin would cause the least amount of disruption.

- Yeah, except of course, for me.

- Nora, I don't think Derek should have to give up his room.

- Look, I know it's a lot to ask, but my girls have

given up a lot already

and their new room isn't big enough as it is.

- Oh, c'mon Nora, just be reasonable.

- No, maybe you should be reasonable.

- Maybe Casey should be reasonable.

- Maybe Derek should be reasonable.

- Maybe... we should just sleep on this.

- Hhh. Knock much?

- Man, it really is jammed in here.

- What do you want, Edwin?

- I'm here to speak on behalf of my brother Derek... and his room.

"Derek's room is more than a room.

It's his sanctuary.

It's where he took his first steps, lost his first tooth

and became the man he is today."

- Today he's a man? - Yeah.

"Over the years, Derek and his room have grown together.

Losing it would be like losing a friend." - Very touching.

- "Therefore, all attempts to take Derek's room must stop immediately

or he will be forced to make your life more miserable than it already is."

- Did Derek force you to read that?

- Force, no. Pay, yeah.

- Leave, you.

- Hey, don't push the messenger! Hhh, I... I'm gone.

- Eavesdropping? Paying your little brother to threaten me?

You must be really worried I'm going to get what I want.

- Hhh, please! I've got homehouse advantage.

Besides, in my house, I always get what I want.

- Aren't we arrogant?

- Yes, we are.

- I have an announcement!

I'm not wearing socks!

I said

I'm not wearing socks!

- Hey everyone. Um, we have an important announcement too.

- Yes, After a long... ah, discussion,

we agreed that, um,

it's not really fair that we kick Derek out of his room.

- But Casey, your room is too small

and you deserve some privacy.

So we're going to spend all weekend

renovating the basement into a bedroom so fabulous

you won't even know it's a basement.

- You expect me to sleep in the basement?

- Can we say "princess"?

- Derek, you got what you wanted, now shut it.

- Casey, please give the idea a chance.

Ah, George tells me he's quite the renovator.

- Uh, yeah, you know -- he built a whole house once.

- Pretty sweet, hunh? I'll bet the birds'll be fighting to move in! Ha! Ha! Ha!

- And I'm going to make the most funky cushions and wall hangings.

I mean, you know how much I love to sew.

- Uh, yeah...

You sure I'll grow into it?

- Casey, you don't have to decide now.

Wait 'til you see what we do. Okay?

- What can I say? Okay.

- Are... you alright?

- I have no status in this house.

- What do you mean?

- Why isn't Derek being pressured to move down there?

It's way more suitable for him than me.

A creature like him should live underground!

- It's not what he wants. - And what Derek wants,

Derek gets.

That's it! Lizzie, you're a genius!

- Then how come I don't know what you're talking about?

- All I have to do is get Derek to decide he wants something

he doesn't want by making him think that I want something I don't want!

- Very tricky...

- And I've got the upper hand because he thinks I'm too nice to be sneaky.

- Hm hm, yeah!

- What are you doing?

- Just making design plans for my new basement bachelorette pad.

- Is that a... a pool table? - Yeah. And that'll still leave room for the mini fridge.

- A-and what's that hole in the wall?

- Oh, that's for the speakers for my sound system.

- What sound system?

- The sound system slash guilt gift my Mom's gonna buy me for making me move to the basement.

- A-am I crazy or does it sound like you actually want

to move to the basement?

- Yes and yes.

But please don't tell my Mom what I'm planning, okay?

- O... Okay.

What's she up to?

- And so now my Dad's renovating the basement.

Yeah... [ Coughing ] - Oh...

- Dan, let me call you back. What happened?

- Well, I hit myself on the head with my hammer.

It kinda rebounded off the nail and bam!

- Yeah, I'll get you some ice if you want.

- Um, Ed, no - forget about it. Ed, come here. Sit down.

Listen, I might need a little help with the drywall.

- I would, Dad, but there's these things called child labour laws--

- Yeah, I know. I'm a lawyer, remember?

- Exactly! Which is why you should stick to lawyering and hire a contractor.

- I don't need a contractor, I need my son to help.

- Great! I'll go get Derek. - Not that son. My other son.

- I have another brother?

- Mom, I hate sewing.

- Use the stapler.

- No! Stapling is a terrible idea.

How about I sew and you paint?

- Okay.

- What happened to my helper?

- Right here. - Do you paint?

- Mostly finger. - Oh. Welcome aboard.

- I bet Casey's dying to see what we've done.

- I think even Derek's curious.

- What are you doing?

- Sleepwalking. - Oh really?

I hope you weren't going down to check out the basement.

- Uh, who cares about the basement?

- Perhaps you? - Perhaps not.

- Good. Because that basement's going to be mine.

- Don't you know you're not supposed to annoy a sleepwalker?

Ow!

[ Playing horn, out of tune ]

- Casey, come on down...

- Coming. - Yeah, me too.

- Well, it's way better than the birdhouse.

- Ah, ha. Better tools, good help.

- So? What do you think, Case?

- The fun-fur idea is totally fun.

- Yeah, I thought so too.

- Wow! - Yeah, wow. - I am so impressed.

You guys have done an amazing job. - Ah.

- I love my new bedroom. - Ah, that's so great!

- You know, Casey, this room might be better suited

for someone like me. - What?

- Yeah, well, you know how loud I like my music,

and out of respect for everyone's privacy,

I'll move down here and Casey can have my room.

- What? - Well, Casey doesn't 'do' basements

and I'm just trying to do the right thing.

- Okay, then I'll take your room.

- Wait, you gave up just like that?

- Well, yeah. You were nice enough to offer and I'm nice enough to accept.

- Okay then, it's decided. Derek gets the room?

- I think that's what's decided.

- No, actually I've decided to keep my room.

- But I already decided to take it! You offered it to me!

- Well I take it back. - Too late.

- Someone tell me what's going on here!

- I'll tell you what I think's going on here.

Casey didn't want the basement and neither did Derek.

And then Casey wanted the basement, and then Derek wanted it...

which may have been what Casey wanted all along.

- Is that true?

- No. - No. - [Lizzie, Marti, Edwin]: Yes.

- You spoiled brats! No offense,

but we've all just worked incredibly hard

to make this room great. So both of you are gonna stay down here

till one of you decides who gets the privilege of living here!

- Everyone else... out!

- Thank you. - You're welcome. - Thanks.

- You're welcome. - Thank you. Thank you.

- You're welcome. [ Door closes ]

- [Derek]: I'm not changing my mind!

- [Casey]: You don't have a mind to change!

- This is ridiculous. We're never gonna settle this

and I'm starving.

I'm hungry!

- [George]: Too bad!

- Can you just take the basement so I can eat!

- You are one of the most annoying people I have ever met.

- I may be annoying but at least I didn't try and trick you into changing rooms!

Since when did the 'keener' become the 'schemer'?

- Since I was forced to move in here and fight for what I deserve.

You know, I had a great life before my Mom married your Dad...

- Yeah, and we were doing just fine before my Dad married your Mom!

- Yeah, well, your Dad's lucky to have married my Mom.

- Your Mom's lucky to have married my Dad!

- She's never been happier in her life.

- And he's never been happier in his life.

- And now I'm messing everything up.

Mom, George... Even though I hate basements with every fibre of my being,

I will take the basement bedroom because you're both great

and I'm really happy you're together and I just... I don't want to cause any more trouble.

- Oh, Casey. That is so sweet, but you won't have to.

- Why? This is what we wanted!

- Casey caved!

- Yes, while you two were arguing I've been thinking.

George, Casey's had to make

a lot of sacrifices for me

and I think it's time that I made one for her.

- You're not leaving me?

- No. Ha! Of course not!

But I think that you and I should move our bedroom to the basement.

- I don't wanna sleep in the basement.

- But George, think of the privacy... and your own bathroom.

- An-and dad, it's a whole floor between you and us kids.

- Kid makes a point.

I'm in.

You know you're both lucky you have such terrific parents.

- You're right, we are lucky. And thanks -- both of you.

- Ah.

- Come on, Derek. - Ah! N-no.

[ Music, very loud ]

[ Drowning Derek's music with her music playing very loud ]

Closed captioning: Technicolor, Creative Services - Montreal

- Ha! Ha, ha, ha!

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0