All language subtitles for Desperate.Housewives.S06E14.1080p.WEB-DL.DD+.5.1.x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

PREVIOUSLY ON...

YOUR EX-HUSBAND WAS
PART OWNER IN A BUSINESS.

SUSAN CAME INTO AN INHERITANCE.

WHO DO I SPEAK TO ABOUT SELLING
MY SHARE OF HERPES ON PARADE?

LYNETTE ACQUIESCED...

LOOKS LIKE WE'LL BE GOING
TO THERAPY TOGETHER.
THAT IS GREAT NEWS!
THANK YOU.

AS SOON AS GRADUATE
HIGH SCHOOL,

I'M GOING TO NEW YORK
TO BE A MODEL.

ANGIE'S CONCERNS
MADE HER MORE PROTECTIVE.

YOU KNOW I'VE ALWAYS FELT BAD
ABOUT THE WAY WE'VE HAD

TO RAISE YOU,
BEING ON THE RUN AND ALL.

THE DOOR STAYS OPEN.

I WANT IT CLOSED.
YOU STINK.

AND YOU'RE A WHORE!
HERE'S THE DIFFERENCE.

I CAN GET CLEAN.
MM.

STOP!
SAY "PLEASE."

AND ORSON EXPRESSED
HIS FEELINGS.
PLEASE!

THAT'S THE LIFE
I'M FACING NOW--

HAVING TO ASK PEOPLE FOR HELP,
FOR EVERYTHING.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD
THAT IS?!

(Mary Alice) ORSON HODGE
WAS SMILING AGAIN,

AND IT WAS STARTING TO WORRY
HIS WIFE.

YOU SEE, SINCE HIS ACCIDENT,

BREE HODGE HAD GROWN ACCUSTOMED

TO HER HUSBAND'S
SEVERE MOOD SWINGS.

AAH!

SHE HAD GROWN USED TO
HIS UNEXPECTED RAGE...

(sobbing)

HIS SUDDEN ANGUISH...

HIS DEEP DEPRESSION.

BUT LATELY, AN ODD TRANQUILITY
HAD SETTLED OVER ORSON,

AND HIS WIFE HAD THE FEELING
SOMETHING WAS TERRIBLY WRONG.

SADLY, SHE WAS RIGHT.

(speaks indistinctly)

WHAT'S, UM, GOING ON HERE?

HELLO, BREE.

JUST THOUGHT I'D GIVE AWAY SOME
THINGS I DON'T NEED ANYMORE.

HEY, ORSON.
YOU GOT THESE IN 8 1/2?

SORRY, ROY.
WE JUST CARRY MEN'S SIZES.

(laughter)

LOOK, I CAN UNDERSTAND

WHY YOU MIGHT WANT TO GIVE AWAY
YOUR SPORTING EQUIPMENT,

BUT WHY WOULD YOU GIVE AWAY
YOUR BOOKS AND YOUR CDs?

AND FOR GOD SAKES, YOU CAN
STILL USE YOUR HEADPHONES.

(loudly) THESE ARE AMAZING!

GIVE ME THOSE.
OW!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

DON'T YOU REALIZE
YOU'RE TAKING ADVANTAGE

OF A MAN WHO IS
EMOTIONALLY DISTRAUGHT?

HE SEEMED TO BE
IN A GREAT MOOD.
UNTIL LADY SUNSHINE
WALKED IN.

WE'RE SORRY, BREE. WE ASSUMED
YOU GUYS HAD TALKED ABOUT IT.
WELL, WE DIDN'T, AND THAT
DOESN'T EXCUSE THE FACT

THAT YOU'RE ALL ACTING
LIKE A BUNCH OF VULTURES.

IT'S A GOOD THING I CAME HOME,

OR YOU'D BE
PICKING THROUGH HIS CLOSET.

UM, YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS?

WE SHOULD GO.

AND PLEASE LEAVE
YOUR PLUNDER BEHIND.

HEY, COME ON. AT MY AGE,
IT'S JUST A SHORT-TERM LOAN.

(door closes)

WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?

I'M SORRY, DARLING.

I HAD NO INTENTION
OF UPSETTING YOU.

KEEP MY THINGS,
GIVE THEM AWAY.

ULTIMATELY,
IT DOESN'T MATTER.

YES, ORSON HODGE
WAS SMILING AGAIN,

AND BREE WOULD SOON LEARN
THE REASON WHY.

YOU SEE, HER HUSBAND...

HAD DECIDED TO KILL HIMSELF.

IN THIS NEVER-ENDING DRAMA
WE CALL LIFE,

EVERYONE HAS A PART TO PLAY.

SOME ARE CAST
AS ROMANTIC LEADS.

OTHERS END UP
PLAYING THE VICTIM.

(cries)

(door closes)
AND A FEW PROVIDE COMIC RELIEF.

BUT IF THE DRAMA IS TO BE
REALLY COMPELLING,

THERE MUST BE A HERO...
AND A VILLAIN.

HEY, MRS. KINSKY.

OH, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

THE GARBAGE POLICE.

I HATE TO BUG YOU,

BUT YOU'RE STILL NOT SEPARATING
YOUR GLASS AND PLASTICS.

THE CITY PASSED
THAT ORDINANCE, REMEMBER?

HOW I ENVY YOU--

YOUNG, PRETTY, ABLE TO CROUCH
FOR HOURS BEHIND A BUSH,

WAITING FOR A NEIGHBOR
TO DUMP HER TRASH.

LOOK, MAYBE YOU DON'T GET
HOW EASY IT IS TO RECYCLE.

OH, I GET IT.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO IT.
(slams lid shut)

I'VE BEEN THROWING STYROFOAM
INTO THE TRASH

SINCE BEFORE YOU WERE BORN,

AND THE SKY IS STILL BLUE
AND THE GRASS IS STILL GREEN.

MAYBE NOW, BUT WHAT WILL IT BE
LIKE FOR OUR GRANDCHILDREN?

MY SON IS SHOOTING BLANKS,

AND MY DAUGHTER LIKES
THE LADIES.

(chuckles) GRANDKIDS ARE
THE LEAST OF MY CONCERNS.

SO YOU DON'T CARE
ABOUT OUR PLANET AT ALL?
BY THE TIME IT'S A PROBLEM,
I'LL BE LONG GONE.

LET THE COCKROACHES
AND THE ROBOTS FIGHT OVER IT.

(laughs)

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

OH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

COME ON. LOOK, ONE OLD CRANK
DOESN'T WANT TO RECYCLE.

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT STUFF
ANYMORE, REMEMBER?

OF COURSE I STILL CARE.
Y--FINE. YEAH, YOU CAN CARE.

JUST... DON'T BE
BLOWING OUR COVER.

SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO?

STAND BACK AND WATCH HER
DEFILE OUR PLANET?

THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

"SOMETIMES YOU--YOU CHAIN
YOURSELF TO THE TREE,

AND SOMETIMES YOU GO AFTER
THE GUY WITH THE SAW."

THAT'S WHAT PATRICK
USED TO SAY.

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT PATRICK
ANYMORE.

I'M JUST SAYING.
SO AM I.

(dance music playing)

(men hooting and whistling)
SO THE LAWYER SAYS
YOU SIGN RIGHT HERE,

AND YOU ARE OFFICIALLY BOUGHT
OUT OF THE STRIP CLUB BUSINESS.

LET'S HOPE I DON'T GET
MY SHARE IN SINGLES.
(laughs)

AND HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING
TO REMEMBER US BY.

"LAP DANCING...
IT'S A GRIND." (chuckles)

WELL, I WILL BE SURE
TO WEAR THIS

ON THE NEXT FIELD TRIP I TAKE
WITH MY STUDENTS. THANKS, JIMBO.

GOOD LUCK.
YOU, TOO.

BYE, MRS. D.
TAKE CARE, ROBIN.

"MOBY DICK"?

NO, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
IT'S ABOUT A WHALE.

YES, I KNOW.
UH, IT'S A CLASSIC.

WELL, I SAW AN ARTICLE ABOUT

A HUNDRED BOOKS YOU SHOULD
READ BEFORE DYING,

AND I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW,

WITH ALL THE HIGH CHOLESTEROL
IN MY FAMILY,

I BETTER GET CRACKIN'.
OH, GOOD FOR YOU.

SO WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO NOW?

OH, UM, UH, WELL, THIS WAS,
UH, NEVER REALLY MY JOB.

I'M ACTUALLY A TEACHER.

REALLY?
MM-HMM.

OH, THAT IS SO COOL.
I THOUGHT ABOUT BEING A TEACHER.

I ACTUALLY WENT
A COUPLE SEMESTERS,

BUT THEN MY FAMILY HAD
SOME MONEY PROBLEMS,

AND, WELL, NINE YEARS LATER,
I'M STILL WEARING TASSELS.

ROBIN, YOU'RE BEING REQUESTED
IN THE V.I.P. LOUNGE.

WELL, UM, GOOD LUCK
WITH THOSE HUNDRED BOOKS.

THANK YOU.
(chuckles)

OH, NOT THIS GUY AGAIN.

I KEEP TELLING HIM
TO KEEP THE TIPS

AND BUY HIMSELF
A TOOTHBRUSH.

ROBIN, WAIT.

UM...

YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP DOING
THIS IF IT MAKES YOU UNHAPPY.

WELL, I'VE GOT BILLS TO PAY,
MRS. DELFINO.

NO, I KNOW, BUT YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WORK HERE.

YOU COULD DO ANYTHING
YOU WANT.
THAT'S EASY TO SAY.

WELL, I MEAN IT.

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE
TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

ROBIN, NOW.

THANK YOU.

MM.

YOU'RE TAKING THAT
WITH YOU?

WHEN CUSTOMERS GET GRABBY,

I LIKE TO HAVE SOMETHING
TO WHACK 'EM WITH.

I ALMOST KILLED A GUY WITH
"WAR AND PEACE." (chuckles)
(chuckles)

HMM.

SO I'M DRIVING.

TH-THIS GUYS PULLS OUT
IN FRONT OF ME.
CUTS HIM OFF.

YES. (sighs)
I WAS A LITTLE PISSED.
YOU WERE FURIOUS.

BUT AT THE STOPLIGHT, WHEN I
START TO TELL THE GUY OFF,

TOM LEANS OVER AND SAYS,
"SORRY. UH, NO BIG DEAL.

SHE'S JUST HAVING A BAD DAY."
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
TAKE THE GUY'S HEAD OFF.

HE WAS A MANIAC.
SHE FLIPPED HIM THE BIRD.

I WAS STICKING UP FOR YOU!
YES, BUT TOM WAS DRIVING,
LYNETTE.

WHETHER HE CHOSE TO IGNORE IT

OR TRY TO RUN THE MAN
OFF THE ROAD, IT'S HIS DECISION.

LET HIM BE IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT
SOMETIMES,

LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY.

BRINGING THE SCORE TO TOM--4
AND CONTROLLING BITCH--0.

THERE'S NO SCOREBOARD
IN THIS ROOM. YOU KNOW THAT.

WELL, I THINK YOU BOTH DID
SOME GREAT WORK TODAY.

NEXT TUESDAY, SAME TIME?
THANKS, DOCTOR. IT FELT
REALLY GREAT. (chuckles)

YEAH, GREAT.

I ALWAYS FEEL SO MUCH BETTER
WHEN WE GET OUT OF THERE.

YEAH, I BET YOU DO.
WELL, DON'T YOU?

I MEAN, I REALLY THINK
SHE GOT THIS... WORKING.

YEAH, I THINK
SHE'S GOT THIS... WORKING

AND THIS...
IS GETTING BEAT UP.

COME ON, LYNETTE.
DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT.

IT'S TRUE. SHE ALWAYS SIDES WITH
YOU. I WANT A SECOND OPINION.
LYNETTE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT
SEEING ANOTHER THERAPIST.

WHEN WE STARTED,
YOU LOVED HER.

YEAH, AND WHEN WE STARTED,
I LOVED YOU, TOO.

THINGS CHANGE.
NOW LET'S GO.

HOLD ON. UH...

I THINK I LEFT MY KEYS.

NO, I CAN'T. I HAVE
DRESS REHEARSAL TONIGHT.

(knock on door)
OKAY. TALK TO YOU LATER.

I'M SORRY.
I FORGOT MY KEYS.

OH, THAT'S OKAY.

(chuckles)
(keys jangle)

UM, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO EAVESDROP.

DID YOU SAY YOU HAD
DRESS REHEARSAL?

OH, THAT.

YES, I'M SORT OF IN A LITTLE
PLAY THAT RUNS THIS WEEKEND.

REALLY?
YOU'RE AN ACTOR, TOO?

WELL, I DABBLED IN COLLEGE.

I HAVE A BIT OF A GIFT,
SO I TRY TO KEEP IT ALIVE.

WOW, WHAT'S THE PLAY? I MEAN,
WE'D--WE'D LOVE TO COME SEE IT.

"ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA." BUT IT'S
JUST A COMMUNITY PRODUCTION.

I WOULD NEVER FORCE YOU
TO SIT THROUGH IT.

OH, OKAY. WELL, IF YOU DON'T
WANT US TO COME...

HERE'S A FLYER.
MATINEES ARE HALF-OFF.

(doorbell rings)

HEY.
HEY! I NEED ANA
TO WATCH THE GIRLS

WHILE I RUN TO THE STORE,

AND BIG SHOCK--
SHE'S NOT ANSWERING HER CELL.
OH, NO PROBLEM. COME ON IN.

THEY'RE JUST
UP IN DANNY'S ROOM.

ANA!

GABY'S HERE!

SO THEY'RE IN DANNY'S ROOM?

OH, YEAH.
THEY WERE LISTENING TO MUSIC.

IT WAS SO LOUD,
I MADE THEM SHUT THE DOOR.

AH. SO THEY'RE
BY THEMSELVES...

WITH THE DOOR SHUT?

JUST A COUPLE OF TEENAGERS
ALONE WITH THEIR GENITALS?

ANA!
GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!

GABY, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

THEY'RE JUST HANGING OUT
IN DANNY'S ROOM.
WITH A MATTRESS.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST CRACK

A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE
ON ANA'S PELVIS

AND WISH DANNY A BON VOYAGE?

ANA! NOW!

(door opens)
(Ana) HOLD ON. I'M COMING.

(rock playing indistinctly)
I'M SURE SHE MEANT
SHE'S ON HER WAY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I HAVE TO RUN TO THE STORE.
I NEED YOU TO WATCH THE GIRLS.

THAT'S IT? JEEZ, I THOUGHT
THE HOUSE WAS ON FIRE.

LET ME GRAB MY STUFF.

SO... YOU WORRIED
THEY MIGHT BE DOING IT?

YEAH. WHAT I DON'T GET IS
WHY YOU'RE NOT WORRIED.

THEY ARE
HEALTHY, RED-BLOODED KIDS.

THEY'RE GONNA DO
WHAT THEY'RE GONNA DO.
SO WE SAY NOTHING
AND JUST FLUFF THEIR PILLOWS?

NO. WE MAKE SURE THEY DON'T
DO ANYTHING STUPID.

HAVE YOU GOTTEN ANA
BIRTH CONTROL?

I MAKE HER SPEND TIME
WITH JUANITA AND CELIA.

I WAS HOPING THAT WOULD DO IT.
COME ON, GABY.

Y-YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HER
ABOUT SAFE SEX, CONDOMS.

SHE'S ONLY 17.
SHE'S TOO YOUNG!

OH. HOW OLD WERE YOU
WHEN YOU FIRST DID IT?

ANA, HURRY UP!

GOTTA HIT THE PHARMACY,
TOO!

(sighs)

(wheels squeak)

OH.

I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN.

"DEAREST BREE,
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU,

"BUT THE WILL TO FIGHT ON
HAS LEFT ME,

SO I'VE CHOSEN TO...
EXIT LIFE ON MY OWN TERMS."

IS THIS A SUICIDE NOTE?

WELL, IT'S REALLY MORE
OF A SUICIDE ROUGH DRAFT.

OH, MY GOD.

I DIDN'T MEAN FOR YOU
TO FIND OUT THIS WAY.

BUT NOW THAT YOU KNOW,

AT LEAST WE CAN DISCUSS IT
LIKE ADULTS.
THERE IS NOTHING TO DISCUSS.

ORSON...

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY
THE DEPRESSION TALKING.

WE WILL GET YOU
SOME MEDICATION.
BREE. BREE.

THERE'S NO NEED FOR YOU
TO FEEL BADLY ABOUT THIS.

I'VE HAD A GOOD LIFE.

LET ME GO.

I WILL DO NO SUCH THING.

I FORBID THIS.

DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WILL
NOT BE KILLING YOURSELF.

I WILL REMOVE EVERY KNIFE, ROPE
AND PILL FROM THIS HOUSE,

AND IF I HAVE TO, I WILL BE
WITH YOU 24 HOURS A DAY.

WELL, BEING BORED TO DEATH
WASN'T HOW I WAS PLANNING TO GO,

BUT WE CAN TRY IT YOUR WAY.

(whispers) ORSON.

I'LL GIVE YOU SOME TIME
TO ADJUST TO THIS.

BUT UNDERSTAND ME.

IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

(bottle thuds)

WHAT'S WITH THE CONDOMS?

CALM DOWN.
THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU.

AH, JUST WHAT EVERY MAN WANTS
TO HEAR FROM HIS WIFE.

(keys jangle)
SO?

OKAY, HEAR ME OUT. YOU KNOW
HOW ANA IS DATING DANNY BOLEN?

I'M GONNA KILL HIM...
AND WE HAVE TO
BE REALISTIC...

WITH MY BARE HANDS...
BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT
GONNA LISTEN TO REASON.

AND BURY HIM UNDER THE PORCH.
NO. CARLOS.
WHAT CHOICE DO WE HAVE?

THEY'RE TWO TEENAGERS WHO ARE
GETTING SERIOUSLY INVOLVED.

ISN'T IT BETTER
TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY?
BUT GIVING THEM THESE IS LIKE
GIVING THEM OUR BLESSING.

AND THAT'S HOW I FELT
AT FIRST,

BUT LIKE ANGIE SAID,
NATURE'S GONNA TAKE ITS COURSE.

YEAH, EASY FOR HER TO SAY.
SHE'S GOT THE BOY.

WHAT IF THE CONDOM BREAKS?
WHAT IF HE FORGETS TO PUT IT ON?

IF HE KNOCKS ANA UP,

WHO DO YOU THINK'S
GONNA END UP RAISING THE KID?
(sighs) GOD,
THAT WOULD BE AWFUL.

GETTING UP
FOR THOSE 3:00 A.M. FEEDINGS

AFTER YOU'VE WORKED ALL DAY?

NOT ME. YOU.

YOU'LL END UP
TAKING CARE OF THE BABY.

SO YOU BETTER CONVINCE HER
TO KEEP HER LEGS CROSSED

UNTIL SHE'S OUT OF THIS HOUSE.
WAIT. HOW IS THIS MY PROBLEM?
SHE'S YOUR TRAMPY NIECE.

BECAUSE IF SHE GETS PREGNANT,
I'LL BE IN PRISON

FOR KILLING WHAT'S BURIED
UNDERNEATH THE PORCH.

MRS. D.!

(car door closes)
ROBIN.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
ME JUST SHOWING UP,

BUT I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT
YOU SAID, AND YOU WERE RIGHT.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE
YOUR LIFE, SO I QUIT DOUBLE D's.
(chuckles) YOU DID?

I WAS PRETTY SCARED AT FIRST,

BUT NOW I THINK
IT'S THE BEST THING I EVER DID.
WELL, THAT'S GREAT.

NOW I NEVER WOULD HAVE HAD
THE GUTS WITHOUT TALKING TO YOU.

YOU'RE LIKE MY ROLE MODEL.
REALLY? (chuckles)
THAT'S SWEET.

MY OLD ROLE MODEL WAS CANDI,
DOWN AT THE CLUB,

BUT SHE O.D.'d.

WELL, I WILL, UH,
TRY TO DO CANDI PROUD.

(sighs)
GOOD FOR YOU, ROBIN.

I KNOW CHANGE
TAKES A LOT OF COURAGE.

OH, IT SURE DOES.
(chuckles)

SO WHAT DO I DO NOW?

HUH?
YOU KNOW...

WHAT'S MY NEXT MOVE?
WHERE DO I WORK NOW?

I'M SORRY.

Y-YOU QUIT WITHOUT HAVING
ANYTHING ELSE LINED UP?

I KNOW IT WAS
A LITTLE HASTY,

BUT YOU SAID I COULD DO
WHATEVER I WANTED.

YOU SOUNDED SO SURE.
YOU'RE STILL SURE, RIGHT?

YES, YES. I'M VERY SURE.
THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER.
HUH.

(chuckles)
YOU HAVE SAVED UP, RIGHT?

SHE STRIPPED FOR NINE YEARS
AND DIDN'T PUT ANYTHING AWAY?

APPARENTLY THERE WAS A BOOB JOB
AND A BAD RELATIONSHIP

AND THE RISING COST
OF GLITTER.

I HAVE TO FIND A WAY
TO HELP HER.

AND WHY IS THIS
YOUR RESPONSIBILITY?

BECAUSE I'M THE ONE
THAT TOLD HER TO QUIT.

I DIDN'T THINK SHE'D LISTEN.
NO ONE LISTENS TO ME.

I KEEP TELLING YOU
HOW MUCH I HATE THAT SHIRT,

AND THERE IT IS.
OKAY, WE'LL HELP HER.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?

WE NEED TO FIND HER A JOB.

WELL, WHAT CAN SHE DO?

DOES SHE HAVE SKILLS
THAT DON'T INVOLVE

PICKING UP A DOLLAR
WITHOUT USING HER HANDS?

WHY ARE YOU SO SAD?

WELL, M.J.,

I NEED A JOB,
AND I DON'T HAVE ANY SKILLS.

YOU'RE SO PRETTY.

YOU COULD BE A PRINCESS.

OH.

OH, LOOK.

M.J. IS SO SMITTEN
WITH HER.

HE'S A GUY.

AND SHE'S GOOD WITH KIDS.

(gasps) THAT'S IT.

THEY'VE BEEN LOOKING
FOR AN ASSISTANT ART TEACHER

DOWN AT THE SCHOOL.

SHE SAID SHE ALWAYS WANTED
TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

WELL, YOU THINK
SHE CAN HANDLE IT?
WE GLUE MACARONI TO SHOEBOXES.

IT'S NOT THE HARDEST JOB
IN THE WORLD.

NOW SEE, HOW COME WHEN I SAY
THAT, YOU GIVE ME THAT LOOK?

AND THERE IT IS AGAIN.

THANKS FOR CHEERING ME UP,
M.J.

YOU'RE SO SWEET.

YOU CAN GIVE ME A BATH
IF YOU WANT TO.

ROY!
AAH!

JEEZ, YOU SCARED
THE CRAP OUT OF ME.

WHERE'S ORSON? YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE WATCHING HIM.

DON'T WORRY. I STUCK HIM
IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM

AND PUT A BROOM
THROUGH HIS SPOKES.

(huffs)

HELLO, BREE.

CAN WE PLEASE CROSS ROY OFF
THE SUICIDE WATCH LIST?

HEY. YOU'RE ALIVE.
MY JOB'S DONE HERE.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BACK
AN HOUR AGO.

I AM SORRY, BUT I HAD TO STOP
AND PICK UP OUR GUESTS.

WHAT GUESTS?

(door creaks)

ORSON, MEET CHRIS AND RON.

NOW I KNOW YOU WON'T LISTEN
TO ME, BUT YOU MIGHT LISTEN

TO THEM, SINCE YOU HAVE
SOMETHING IN COMMON.
REALLY?

ARE YOU GILBERT AND SULLIVAN
FANS, TOO?

(laughs) SENSE OF HUMOR.
THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

NOW I KNOW YOU THINK THERE'S
NO REASON TO GO ON LIVING,

BECAUSE YOU'RE PARALYZED--
SO YOU THOUGHT, "HEY!"

(snaps fingers)
"YOU KNOW WHAT MIGHT CHEER HIM
UP? TWO MORE PARALYZED GUYS."

PLEASE. JUST HEAR THEM OUT.

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'M GOING TO MAKE SOME TEA.

SO YOUR WIFE TELLS US
YOU IN A PRETTY NEGATIVE PLACE.

WELL, THAT'S TO BE EXPECTED,
BUT EVENTUALLY--
LOOK, I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL,

BUT I DON'T NEED
A HANDICAPPED PEP TALK.

HEY, WE'RE NOT HANDICAPPED.
WE'RE HANDI-CAPABLE.

OH, LORD.

WE PLAY BASKETBALL, DANCE,
WE MAKE LOVE.

AND I HOPE
YOU'RE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.

I, UNFORTUNATELY,
DON'T HAVE

SOMEONE TO JOIN ME
ON THIS JOURNEY.
YOU HAVE A WIFE
WHO CLEARLY LOVES YOU.

WOW. PARALYZED AND BLIND.

YOU MUST ALWAYS BE THE FIRST ONE
TO BOARD THE PLANE.

(chuckles) LOOK, WE KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.

A LOT OF US FEEL UNLOVED AFTER
SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS.

NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

MY WIFE STAYS WITH ME
SOLELY OUT OF OBLIGATION.

ORSON! HOW COULD YOU SAY
SUCH A THING?

IT'S TRUE, ISN'T IT?
YOU FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE YOU KNOW

I NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN HIT
BY THAT PLANE

IF I HADN'T GOTTEN IN
A FISTFIGHT WITH YOUR LOVER.
THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?
I HAVE BENT OVER BACKWARDS

TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER.

I SHOULD JUST LET YOU
HANG YOURSELF.

HEY... DON'T WE HAVE
A BASKETBALL GAME AT 2:00?

CAN YOU BE HONEST
FOR ONE MOMENT?

YOU DON'T LOVE ME.
YEAH, WE SHOULD GO.

PLEASE STAY. I'VE MADE TEA.

SEE? YOU CAN'T DENY IT.

GO AHEAD, BREE. CORRECT ME.
SAY YOU LOVE ME.

I...

CARE VERY DEEPLY FOR YOU.

(inhales sharply)

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

I'M FEELING A LITTLE UPSET
RIGHT NOW.

WOULD YOU MIND
ROLLING YOURSELVES OUT?

ANA,
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

ARE YOU HAPPY?

WHY?

WELL, CARLOS AND I WANT YOU
TO BE HAPPY.

OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS,

WE'VE COME TO THINK OF YOU
AS OUR OWN DAUGHTER.
REALLY?

IN FACT, YOUR UNCLE

THINKS IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU AND I
HAD THAT LITTLE TALK...

ABOUT THE BIRDS
AND THE BEES.

OH, GOD.
THAT'S HOW I FEEL, SO WE'RE
NOT GONNA BE DOING THAT.

OKAY.

INSTEAD I'M GOING
TO WRITE YOU A CHECK.
A-A CHECK?

A CHECK BIG ENOUGH TO COVER ONE
WHOLE YEAR OF MODELING SCHOOL...

AND TO RENT
A DECENT-SIZE APARTMENT...
(check rips)

IN NEW YORK.

OKAY, WHAT'S THE CATCH?

(laughs) THAT'S SO CUTE THAT
YOU THINK THERE'S A CATCH.

THIS ISN'T SIGNED.
THAT'S THE CATCH.

I WILL SIGN IT
ONCE YOU GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL

WITHOUT HAVING HAD SEX
OR MORE SEX, AS THE CASE MAY BE.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

(sighs) ANA, I COULD TALK
TO YOU ABOUT MORALITY

OR SAVING YOURSELF
FOR MARRIAGE

OR STATISTICS ABOUT S.T.D.s,

BUT I THINK
YOU'RE THE KIND OF GIRL

WHO RESPONDS
TO COLD, HARD CASH.

YOU KNOW ME WELL.

SO DO WE HAVE A DEAL?

ARE YOU GONNA BE A SUCCESSFUL
MODEL WITH A NICE APARTMENT

OR A TEENAGE MOM
WITH NO FUTURE?

WELL...

WHEN YOU PUT IT
LIKE THAT...

GOOD GIRL.

OH, AND TO ANSWER
YOUR EARLIER QUESTION,

I'M NOW VERY HAPPY.

(lowered voice) I CAN'T BELIEVE
I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS.

THREE HOURS OF SHAKESPEARE

FOR A WOMAN WHO HAS
TO PEE EVERY 20 MINUTES.
(lowered voice) COME ON.

DR. GRAHAM'S BEEN
SO SUPPORTIVE OF US.

CAN'T WE BE SUPPORTIVE
OF HER?
THIS ISN'T ABOUT SUPPORT.

THIS IS ABOUT
LITTLE TOMMY TEACHER'S PET

WANTING A GOLD STAR
FOR BUTT-KISSING.
OH.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

(fanfare plays)
AH.

NAY, BUT THIS DOTAGE...

(whispering) PLEASE.

YOU BROUGHT HER
A $40 BOX OF CHOCOLATES.

LAST MOTHER'S DAY,
YOU THREW ME A BAGEL

AND CALLED IT
BREAKFAST IN BED.

(whispering) ADMIT IT.
YOU JUST HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HER

BECAUSE YOU HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE
POINTS OUT YOUR FLAWS.
(gasps)

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

I CAN TAKE CONSTRUCTIVE
CRITICISM JUST FINE.

(whispers) YOU'RE BEING
A LITTLE LOUD.

SORRY.

SEE? I CAN TAKE
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.

YOU'RE STILL TALKING.
YOU'RE STILL ANNOYING.
RELAX.

SHH.
SHE'S MAKING HER ENTRANCE.

OH.
(man) ...FROM ROME.

GRATES ME--THE SUM.

NAY! HEAR THEM, ANTONY!

FLUVIA PERCHANCE IS ANGRY.

OR... WHO KNOWS?

IF THE BEARD...

IF THE SCARCE-BEARDED CAESAR

HATH NOT SENT YOU
HIS POWERFUL MANDATE--

"DO THIS OR THIS.

"TAKE IN THAT KINGDOM
AND ENFRANCHISE THAT.

PERFORM'T"...

(deepens voice)
"OR ELSE WE DAMN THEE."

(thud)

(Lynette speaks indistinctly)

HEY. HOW WAS THE PLAY?
HEY.

LINCOLN HAD A BETTER TIME
AT THE THEATER.

REALLY?

SO HOW BAD WAS IT?

YOU REMEMBER HOW HORRIBLE YOUR
SECOND GRADE ARBOR DAY PLAY WAS?

BUT AT LEAST WE WERE DRUNK
FOR THAT.
MM. (chuckles)

(Tom) HONESTLY, HOW DID
DR. GRAHAM GET THAT PART?

IS SHE SLEEPING
WITH THE DIRECTOR?

SLEEPING WITH, BATHING,
DONATING A KIDNEY--

IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH.

I JUST HOPE THAT I CAN ERASE
THIS FROM MY MEMORY

BEFORE OUR NEXT SESSION.

ARE YOU KIDDING?
WE'RE NOT SEEING HER AGAIN.
(bottle fizzes)

WHY NOT?
WE'RE NOT GOING TO CONTINUE
TO TAKE LIFE LESSONS

FROM A WOMAN WHO BURPED
DURING HER DEATH SCENE.

THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH HER SKILLS AS A THERAPIST.

REALLY? DID SHE NOT TELL YOU
SHE HAS A "GIFT" FOR ACTING?

YEAH.
WELL, I CAN'T TRUST
THE JUDGMENT

OF SOMEONE WITH
ABSOLUTELY NO SELF-AWARENESS.

WE'RE NOT GOING BACK.

THIS IS AN EXCUSE.
YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING

FOR A REASON TO DUMP HER
EVER SINCE OUR LAST SESSION.

TOM, I LEARNED
TWO THINGS TONIGHT--

DR. GRAHAM HAS NO INSIGHT
INTO REAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR,

AND THERE ARE 428 TILES
ON THE CEILING OF THAT THEATER.

SAY WHAT YOU WANT. WE ARE
GOING TO OUR NEXT SESSION.

MNH-MNH.

MM-HMM. AND, BY THE WAY,

IT WAS 429.

MORNING.

(children speaking indistinctly)

ROBIN GALLAGHER,
TEACHING ASSISTANT,

REPORTING FOR DUTY.

HEY, LOOK AT YOU.
I WANTED TO LOOK PROFESSIONAL.

DO YOU LIKE THE GLASSES?
I DON'T EVEN NEED THEM.

(chuckles) YOU LOOK GREAT.
THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL SUIT.

THANKS. IT IS SO NICE
TO WEAR WORK CLOTHES

THAT DON'T RIP AWAY
TO REVEAL CROTCHLESS PANTIES.

YEAH, YOU'RE PREACHING
TO THE CHOIR. (chuckles)

SO, UM, I'M JUST GONNA GET
THE KIDS STARTED PAINTING.

AND WHY DON'T YOU HANG THOSE
GLOBES THAT WE MADE LAST WEEK?

OKAY. (laughs)

(clears throat)

UM, CAN I SAY SOMETHING?

YOU REALLY
TOOK A CHANCE ON ME.

(voice breaks) NO ONE'S EVER
DONE THAT FOR ME BEFORE,

SO THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.
(chuckles)

I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
(cries)

OH, HEY, CAREFUL.

NEVER LET THE KIDS
SEE YOU CRY.

IF THEY SENSE WEAKNESS,
YOU'RE DONE.

SORRY WE'RE LATE.

FORGOT HIS BACKPACK.
OH, THAT'S OKAY, MR. LINWOOD.

COME ON, KYLE.
LET'S GET YOU PAINTING.

WHO'S THAT?

AH, THAT'S MY NEW TEACHING
ASSISTANT, MISS GALLAGHER.

NO, BOBBY. THAT'S NOT
HOW WE USE PIPE CLEANERS!

I'M SORRY.

DO WE KNOW EACH OTHER?

OH. I DON'T THINK SO.

ARE YOU SURE?
YOU LOOK SO FAMILIAR.

I GUESS I JUST HAVE
ONE OF THOSE FACES. (chuckles)

WHAT DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME
ABOUT, PRINCIPAL HOBSON?

YOU ARE AWARE, AREN'T YOU,

THAT AS A PRIVATE SCHOOL,

WE DEPEND
ON THE FINANCIAL SUPPORT

OF OUR MORE AFFLUENT
PARENT DONORS?

I AM AWARE OF THAT.

GOOD.

BECAUSE I JUST GOT A CALL
FROM KYLE LINWOOD'S FATHER,

A MAJOR DONOR.

IS IT TRUE THAT
YOUR ASSISTANT CAN BREAK A $5

BY SHAKING OUT HER UNDERWEAR?

I DON'T WANT
TO TAKE A BATH!
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.

IT'S TIME TO GIVE THE EARTH
BACK SOME OF ITS DIRT.

GO!

HEY, I'M GONNA BE UPSTAIRS
FOR A BIT.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
UP TO TONIGHT?

WE'RE JUST GONNA STAY HOME
AND STUDY.
(singsong voice) GOOD GIRL.

MM! WHY ARE YOU GETTING ME
ALL WORKED UP?

I THOUGHT YOU MADE YOUR AUNT
A PROMISE.

I PROMISED HER
I WOULDN'T HAVE SEX.

I DIDN'T PROMISE
YOU WOULDN'T.

(crickets chirping)

FINE! I'LL SORT IT MYSELF!

(keys jangle)

(click)

MR. SOLIS.

OKAY,
DON'T FREAK OUT, OKAY?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, I'M--I'M SORRY.
THIS--THIS WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

UNCLE CARLOS,
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
YOU THINK YOU CAN COME
INTO MY HOUSE AND DO THIS?!

(Carlos) ANSWER ME!

HUH?!

ANSWER ME! ANSWER ME!

(shouting indistinctly)

(door opens)
I CATCH YOU NEAR HER AGAIN,
I WILL KICK YOUR ASS, BOY.

LET GO OF HIM!
YOU KNOW WHAT I CAUGHT YOUR SON
DOING IN MY HOUSE?

I DON'T CARE.
CARLOS, WHAT IS GOING ON?!

I SAID LET GO!

OH, GOD!
ANGIE, WHAT THE HELL?!

WAIT FOR ME OUTSIDE.
MA, PLEASE DON'T.

OUTSIDE!

(door opens)
(panting) LOOK, I CAME IN
AND FOUND HIM ON TOP OF HER.

I DON'T CARE. HE'S MY KID.

YOU EVER TOUCH HIM AGAIN,
YOU'RE DEAD.

HEY, BOLEN!

I SEE YOU TRIED TO SEPARATE
MY GLASS AND PLASTIC.

(dogs barking in distance,
bottles clatter)

SUCK IT, EARTH!

MA!

(loud clatter)

COME ON, MA. LET'S GO.

SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T
JUST THINK

ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY

BUT ABOUT HOW YOU SAY IT,
SO TOM CAN HEAR YOU.

THAT'S...

A THEORY.

IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU,
LYNETTE?

IT'S THE PREGNANCY.
(chuckles nervously)

THIS MORNING
SHE GOT MAD AT ME

OVER THE WAY I DRANK
MY ORANGE JUICE.

IS THAT ALL? YOU KNOW
YOU'RE IN A SAFE PLACE HERE.

WE CAN TELL EACH OTHER
ANYTHING.

OKAY.

SINCE THIS IS A SAFE PLACE...

TOM AND I SAW YOUR PLAY
THE OTHER NIGHT.

YOU DID? WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU
COME BACKSTAGE AND SAY HELLO?

WELL, THE TRUTH IS, I DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT TO SAY, BECAUSE...

I DIDN'T REALLY LIKE IT.

I KNOW.

OUR ANTONY WAS DREADFUL.

YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE
WHO THOUGHT SO.

NO... ACTUALLY,
I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU.

YOU WERE...

REALLY NOT VERY GOOD,

AND NOW I'VE SORT OF
LOST CONFIDENCE

IN YOU AS A THERAPIST.

OH.

OKAY.

DO YOU WANT TO ELABORATE?

NO. I THINK I SAID
WHAT I NEEDED TO SAY.

AHA.

SEE, THIS IS THE SAME THING
IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

YOU CRITICIZE TOM,
BUT YOU WON'T BE SPECIFIC.

IT'S SORT OF
THE COWARD'S WAY OUT.

COWARD?

OKAY.

YOU SUCKED.

YOU WERE REALLY, REALLY BAD.

THREE WORDS--

STINK, STANK, STUNK.

SPECIFIC ENOUGH?

GOOD FOR YOU, LYNETTE.

I COMMEND YOU
FOR YOUR HONESTY.

ALTHOUGH, THE "FAIRVIEW HERALD"
HAD A DIFFERENT TAKE.

THEY FOUND MY CLEOPATRA
"INCANDESCENT."

OH... MY GOD.

YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT?

SEE, THIS IS WHY
WE CAN'T SEE HER ANYMORE.

TOM, YOU HAVEN'T
WEIGHED IN YET.

WHAT DID YOU THINK?

(high-pitched voice)
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GREAT.

WHAT? LIAR! YOU SAID
YOU'VE SEEN SEALS PLAYING HORNS

THAT PUT ON A BETTER SHOW.
THERE'S NO NEED TO BULLY HIM
INTO AGREEING WITH YOU.

I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BULLY HIM
IF HE WOULD MAN UP FOR ONCE.

LYNETTE, YOU'RE ATTACKING.
OF COURSE.
BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS THE BAD COP,

HE'S ALWAYS THE GOOD COP.

COULD YOU JUST ONCE
NOT BE SUCH A WUSS?

DAMN RIGHT I'M THE GOOD COP.
SOMEONE HAS TO BE,

BECAUSE BAD COP-BAD COP
DOESN'T WORK.

I GREW UP IN THAT HOUSE,
AND IT DOESN'T WORK.

THAT IS NOT IT.
YOU LIKE ME BEING THE BAD GUY.

THAT WAY YOU CAN ALWAYS BE
THE GOOD GUY. BUT GUESS WHAT?

I'D LOVE TO BE THE GOOD GUY
ONCE IN A WHILE, BUT I CAN'T,

BECAUSE WHEN THINGS GET HARD

OR A DIFFICULT DECISION
HAS TO GET MADE,

YOU RUN FROM CONFRONTATION,

AND IF I DON'T STEP
INTO THE VOID,

THINGS GRIND TO A HALT.
BECAUSE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU--

GOOD COP-GOOD COP
DOESN'T WORK EITHER!

YOU'RE RIGHT.

REALLY?

I LIKE TO BE LIKED,

AND BECAUSE OF THAT,

A LOT OF THE UGLY STUFF
I DEFER TO YOU.

AND I'M SORRY.

YOUR PERFORMANCE WAS
AGGRESSIVELY BAD.

AT ONE POINT DURING
THE SECOND ACT, I STARTED

TO CHOKE ON A MINT AND THOUGHT
ABOUT NOT FIGHTING IT.

THANK YOU.

WOW. THIS WAS
QUITE A BREAKTHROUGH.

AND YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU'RE A WONDERFUL THERAPIST.

THANK YOU, LYNETTE.

NOW, BOTH OF YOU, GET THE HELL
OUT OF MY OFFICE.

SO WE CATCH HER SON
ON TOP OF OUR NIECE,

AND WE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE?
NO, WE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE

BECAUSE YOU ALMOST PUT
HER SON'S HEAD THROUGH A WALL.

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LEARN
VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER?

(sighs)

(Nick) I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO
TELL YOU THIS! YOU KNOW BETTER!

WE'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR 19
YEARS. YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THIS!

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME
WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION.

I FEEL LIKE I'M TALKING
TO A WALL HERE, HUH?

(whispers)
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG
WITH YOU?!

(lowered voice) OH, GOD.
HE'S RIPPING DANNY A NEW ONE.

(Nick) DAMN IT! ANGIE!
OKAY, NICK,
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

NO, NO, NO, NO. HEY!
YOU ARE GETTING SLOPPY.

WE SHOULD GO.
YEAH, WE SHOULD.

(Nick) FIRST YOU GET INTO IT
WITH THAT CRAZY LADY

ABOUT HER RECYCLING,
WHICH I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO.

AND THEN GUESS WHAT?
SHE COMES OVER THIS MORNING

AND SAYS SHE'S THINKING
ABOUT SUING US.
OKAY, I LOST MY COOL.

WELL, GET IT BACK! 'CAUSE
THIS ROCK WE ARE HIDING UNDER

IS NOT THAT BIG, AND IF PEOPLE
START POKING AROUND, WE'RE DONE.

AND THEN BAM.

HE FIRES HER FOR SOMETHING
SHE USED TO DO.

IT'S SO HYPOCRITICAL.

I MEAN, WHY NOT GET MAD
AT THE KID'S FATHER?

HE OBVIOUSLY GOES
TO DOUBLE D's.

(sighs) I JUST HOPE I DIDN'T GET
YOU INTO ANY TROUBLE, MRS. D.

I FEEL AWFUL.

NO, NO, NO.
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

WHEN I'M SAD,
MY MOM GIVES ME A BIG HUG.

DOWN, TIGER.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
I HAVE NO MONEY FOR RENT.

I'M JUST GONNA END UP
HOMELESS.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULD GO
AND BEG FOR MY OLD JOB BACK.

NO, NO, NO.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

QUITTING THAT PLACE
TOOK A LOT OF GUTS.

(lowers voice) HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT LETTING HER MOVE IN HERE?

JULIE'S GONE.
WE HAVE HER EMPTY ROOM.

IT'S JUST
UNTIL SHE GETS ON HER FEET.
(lowers voice)
YOU'RE ASKING IF I'M OKAY

WITH LETTING A STRIPPER
LIVE WITH US?

I'M GONNA GO WITH NO.
WHY NOT?

I HAVE NO IDEA. I'M JUST REALLY
SURE THIS IS A TRICK QUESTION.
SHE'S A NICE GIRL,
AND SHE'S IN TROUBLE.

YOU KNOW, I THINK OF MYSELF

AS A GOOD PERSON
WHO CARES ABOUT OTHERS,

AND HOW OFTEN DO I ACTUALLY
GET TO WALK THE WALK?

THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY
TO REALLY HELP SOMEONE.

I WANT TO DO IT.

OKAY.

OKAY, LET'S GO MAKE
AN EX-STRIPPER

AND A LITTLE BOY VERY HAPPY.

WHAT'S THIS FOR?

THE LACKEYS'
50th ANNIVERSARY PARTY.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT
I'D BE DEAD BY NOW,

SO I WASN'T PAYING
MUCH ATTENTION

TO OUR SOCIAL CALENDAR.

WELL, REGARDLESS,
YOU'RE GOING.

AND IF YOU'RE STILL AROUND
NEXT SATURDAY,

WE'VE GOT BRUNCH
WITH MY FAMILY.

WELL,
NOW YOU'RE JUST DARING ME.

ORSON, WALTER IS ABOUT
TO MAKE A TOAST.

DON'T YOU WANT TO HEAR IT?

A SPEECH ABOUT THE JOYS
OF WEDDED BLISS?

PASS.

(man, amplified voice) WALTER
AND SHIRLEY ARE ABOUT TO DANCE

TO A SONG THAT WAS PLAYED
AT THEIR WEDDING.

BUT BEFORE THEY DO, WALTER WOULD
LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS.

(amplified voice) I WANT
TO THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.

50 YEARS... (chuckles)
IT HARDLY SEEMS POSSIBLE.

AND NOW I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU

AND SAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN EASY.

I MEAN, WE'VE HAD
OUR SHARE OF TRAGEDY

AND WE'VE SAID A FEW THINGS
WE WISH WE COULD TAKE BACK.

BUT FOR THE MOST PART,
WE'VE BEEN LUCKY,

BECAUSE NO MATTER
HOW OLD WE GET,

WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE
TO REMEMBER

WHAT MADE US FALL IN LOVE
IN THE FIRST PLACE, RIGHT, HON?

(kiss)
(guests) AW.

(laughter and applause)

(Nat King Cole) ♪ I LOVE YOU ♪

♪ FOR SENTIMENTAL REASONS ♪

♪ I HOPE YOU DO BELIEVE ME ♪

♪ I'LL GIVE YOU MY HEART ♪

ORSON!

ORSON! STOP!

DON'T YOU DARE THROW YOURSELF
IN THAT POOL!

(pants)

I WANT TO DIE.
WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME?

BECAUSE I WANT THINGS, TOO.

I WANT A PARTY LIKE THIS SOMEDAY
TO CELEBRATE OUR LIFE TOGETHER.

WHAT IS THERE ABOUT OUR LIFE
TO CELEBRATE?

LOOK AT WALTER AND SHIRLEY
IN THERE.

I WAS WATCHING THEM DANCE
WITH SUCH PASSION IN THEIR EYES,

BUT I KNOW THEY HAVEN'T
ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT.

THEY'VE HAD THEIR ROUGH TIMES,
TOO, BUT THEY STUCK IT OUT.

BECAUSE THEY'RE IN LOVE.

I ASKED YOU IF YOU LOVED ME,
AND YOU COULDN'T ANSWER.

FINE. I'LL ANSWER YOU NOW.

I LOVED YOU ONCE.

CAN I LOVE YOU AGAIN?

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT I WOULD LIKE TO RECAPTURE
WHAT WE ONCE HAD.

AND HOW CAN WE DO THAT
IF YOU'RE NOT HERE?

SO... I'M ASKING YOU...

PLEASE STAY.

IN THIS NEVER-ENDING DRAMA
WE CALL LIFE,

EVERYONE HAS A PART TO PLAY.

SOME ARE CAST
AS ROMANTIC LEADS.

OTHERS END UP BEING THE VICTIM.

(glasses shatter)
AND A FEW ALWAYS PROVIDE
COMIC RELIEF.

AND THEN THERE ARE

THOSE WHO END UP
PLAYING THE HERO...

ESPECIALLY IF THEY FEEL
THERE'S A VILLAIN...

WHO LIVES
JUST ACROSS THE STREET.