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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:05,272
♪ She took the last train ♪
2
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:09,042
♪ Home. ♪
3
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,580
(whooping)
4
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:16,550
Max Kingbird! Rock star!
You can do better than that.
5
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,885
Oh, the crowd, not you, Max.
6
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:19,419
You're awesome.
You're a rock star!
7
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,389
Thank you for that
enthusiastic response
8
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,725
to a song about
my cousin's depression.
9
00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:26,960
I'm gonna take a break now.
10
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,228
Yeah, if you like that song,
11
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,664
wait'll you hear the one
about his dead dog.
12
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:32,666
Great set, man.
13
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:33,901
I'm gonna have to up your pay.
14
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,302
I sing for free.
15
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,403
Not anymore.
16
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,071
Here's some curly fries.
17
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,441
Sheila, Carter and I
are remodeling.
18
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:42,809
What do you think
about this kitchen?
19
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,545
I'm going for
"having our friends over
20
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,147
and making them feel crappy
about their lives."
21
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,816
Well, you know, I used to be
an interior designer,
22
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,051
if you'd like some help.
23
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,319
Oh, I didn't know you did that.
24
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,721
Yes. This was back
in New York in the '70s.
25
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:59,193
Lots of shag carpeting and
chairs shaped like mushrooms.
26
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,628
My God, we were high.
27
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,800
("Gotta Go" by Kilgore playing)
28
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:07,901
Hey, Max.
29
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,470
♪ We'll disappear
into the night ♪
30
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,773
♪ Just like the sun... ♪
31
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,141
Dad?
32
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,143
♪ I don't know... ♪
33
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,412
Long time no see.
34
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:20,614
You got big.
35
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:22,549
Yeah, 30 years'll do that.
36
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,119
Can-can we sit down?
37
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,056
You can.
I'm out of here.
38
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:31,358
♪ Got to, got to go ♪
39
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,760
♪ We got to, got to go... ♪
40
00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:36,430
That was Max's father?
41
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,466
He left when Max was,
like, ten.
42
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,801
This is not good.
43
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:43,570
Good-looking man,
no wedding ring.
44
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:46,974
I could be your mother
and your mother-in-law.
45
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:50,043
And it just got worse.
46
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,980
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
47
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,916
♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
48
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,985
Max, hold on.
49
00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,753
I want to talk to you.
50
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:00,654
Really?
51
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,456
How did you even find me?
52
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,892
Your Aunt Joyce
posted about your show.
53
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,493
It was "QAnon, QAnon,
54
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,562
"my nephew Max
is a big-time singer,
55
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,831
QAnon, cat video."
56
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,800
Look, I don't know
what you want from me,
57
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,937
but I got a set to finish and...
Guys,
58
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,106
I can see you
through the window.
59
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:23,110
Look, Max, I'm not the guy
I used to be.
60
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,145
-(sighs)
-I quit drinking.
61
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,780
Again?
62
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,384
Oh! Oh, look who's here.
I didn't know you were out here.
63
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,618
I just, uh...
64
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:35,656
I was at the more shops
and additional parking.
65
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,157
Hi, I'm... I'm Kat.
66
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:38,559
I'm Max's girlfriend.
67
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:42,062
Hi, I'm Max's father, Dan,
and, uh, I'm...
68
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,131
Leaving. He's leaving.
69
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,466
Right.
70
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:51,104
Look, here's my number
if you want to have dinner.
71
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,608
Damn, these guys age well.
72
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,178
Makes me wish I had started
wearing sunscreen years ago.
73
00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:01,849
You know, I'm his girlfriend,
so I'm just gonna take that.
74
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,150
(chuckles)
75
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:08,121
well, I hope to hear
from you, Max.
76
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:12,025
Are you okay?
77
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,327
Yeah, fine.
78
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:14,895
Are you gonna
have dinner with him?
79
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:15,896
Why would I?
80
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,297
Aren't you curious?
81
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,665
I-I can't deal with this
right now.
82
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,634
I have a set to finish...
Guys,
83
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,536
I can still see you.
84
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,974
Tell me, what kind of vibe
85
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,308
do you want for your kitchen?
86
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,111
We want it to feel
very inviting.
87
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:34,248
Like, like where Martha Stewart
could roll croissants
88
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:36,416
and Snoop Dogg can roll a blunt.
89
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:39,253
Yeah, and the countertops
need to be able to hold
90
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,989
both of our body weights.
91
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,657
No reason.
92
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,160
Here you go, Sheila.
93
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:48,562
Oh, you're looking clean, man.
94
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,098
You got the second-best
haircut in the room.
95
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,366
(chuckles) Thank you.
96
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,001
Yeah, Max sent him
to his stylist.
97
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,137
Oh, she washed my hair,
gave me a shoulder massage,
98
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,772
then she used a blow-dryer,
99
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,507
so I guess I got
my first blow...
100
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,709
No, that's different,
that's different.
101
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:03,877
Oh.
102
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,647
This is beautiful.
103
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,882
Have you thought
of a feature wall,
104
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,551
maybe with reclaimed wood?
105
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:14,421
I once built a whole barn
out of another barn.
106
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,190
The circle of barns.
107
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,326
That's actually
a very good idea.
108
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,395
You know, I would be happy
to give you a hand
109
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:22,262
with construction.
110
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,464
I've built more than just barns.
111
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,734
Hay lofts, horse paddocks,
a Dairy Queen.
112
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:28,836
Really?
113
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,871
Yeah.
The only thing I can't build is
114
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,739
a family of my own.
115
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,042
(sighs)
116
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:39,146
Morning.
117
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:41,882
Oh, hey there.
Did you get my email?
118
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,450
I did.
119
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:46,086
I've never gotten an Evite
to take a sexy shower before.
120
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,055
I RSVP'd yes and commented
121
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,424
"I would loofah to join you."
122
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:53,260
I don't know if your party
is private or not,
123
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,661
but if you want to invite me,
124
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,496
I do now have an email.
125
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:59,800
It's Gideon, Hezekiah,
Zechariah, Jebediah, Jedidiah,
126
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,768
one, two, two, five--
that's Christmas--
127
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,071
@aol.com.
128
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,373
So, the same as your Instagram.
129
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,275
Max, have you given
any more thought
130
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:09,710
to having dinner with your dad?
131
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:12,279
I've been thinking more about
this sexy shower...
132
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:15,382
that I'm now realizing
is in three weeks.
133
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:18,652
There's nothing sexier
than planning ahead.
134
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:19,686
(scoffs)
135
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,221
As far as my dad-- you're right,
136
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,056
I should probably
hear what he has to say.
137
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,358
But you're coming with me.
138
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,592
I'm not sitting there
alone with him.
139
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,160
Great.
I will set it up.
140
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,762
Mm, more planning.
141
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,131
I'm gonna add it
to our shared calendar.
142
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,433
-(phone vibrates)
-Oh.
143
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,404
Roy and Amanda just RSVP'ed
yes to the sexy shower.
144
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,473
Roy and Amanda?
145
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,208
Oh, no.
146
00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:43,277
I sent this Evite
to my book club?
147
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,745
(groans)
148
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,550
So after my father passed,
I thought to myself,
149
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:51,919
"Is teaching mathematics
really my life's purpose?"
150
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:55,122
No, so I opened a café
where you can get coffee
151
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:57,090
and muffins
and snuggle with cats.
152
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,525
I know you know all this,
153
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,894
but I can't assume
he watches the show.
154
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,829
So, how long have you and Max
been together?
155
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:03,997
About four months.
156
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,533
But we've been best friends
since college.
157
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,435
We still think he's coming?
158
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,337
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
159
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:11,939
He's just...
he's just running late.
160
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,574
You know, he-he booked
studio time,
161
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,643
he's recording a demo,
trying to get signed by a label.
162
00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,378
He's actually really good.
163
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,581
He's like Elton John
in Tom Brady's body. (chuckles)
164
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:23,584
-Well, definitely better than
the other way around. -(laughs)
165
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:26,987
I've never been to
an Ethiopian restaurant before.
166
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,288
And I'm loving this.
167
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:30,390
Microwaves should come with
a preset button--
168
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,926
popcorn, baked potato,
hot towel.
169
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:33,927
(sniffs)
170
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,562
You're gonna love the food.
171
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:38,465
I got a taste for it
when I was working in Africa.
172
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,834
Africa, wow.
173
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,069
Do you miss "the rains"?
174
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,904
(chuckles)
Toto?
175
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,939
No? No Toto?
176
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,875
So, Dan, what do you do
for living?
177
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,910
Well, you know those
big oil pipelines
178
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,111
everyone likes to protest?
179
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:53,280
Get out.
You're an eco-warrior?
180
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,048
Close.
I laid the pipes.
181
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,451
-Oh.
-Anyway, now I volunteer for a charity
182
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,987
that brings fresh water
to rural villages.
183
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,788
Oh, that's so inspiring.
184
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,258
You're like Gandhi
in Tom Brady's body.
185
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,927
No, please,
that guy is so overrated.
186
00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,529
-Gandhi, not Tom Brady.
-(chuckles)
187
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,697
Yeah, I mean,
Gandhi beat the British empire,
188
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:13,033
but Tom Brady beat
the 2017 Falcons
189
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,501
after being down 28-3
190
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,870
with two minutes left
in the third, so... GOAT.
191
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,005
(laughs)
192
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,174
(phone vibrates)
193
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,475
Oh, no.
194
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:22,643
Everything okay?
195
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:26,213
Yeah, it's just
Max's session is running long.
196
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,681
He's not gonna
be able to make dinner.
197
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,683
Well, I can't say I blame him.
198
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,418
Anyway, it was nice
meeting you,
199
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:34,521
and I'm just glad Max found
someone who makes him happy.
200
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,756
Wait, hang on.
201
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,258
We're both here.
We're both hungry.
202
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:39,893
Why don't we just have dinner?
203
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:40,961
Really?
You sure?
204
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:44,498
Yeah, we can talk more football
like, uh, Tom Brady.
205
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,799
Too pretty?
206
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,301
Okay. And yes.
207
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,502
(laughs)
208
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:51,004
All right.
What should I have to drink?
209
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:54,508
They got a keribo, a cheka.
210
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,076
A "spree-tay"?
211
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,513
-Uh, that's just Sprite.
-Oh.
212
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:09,289
This is so good.
Max would love this.
213
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,424
Really?
214
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:13,260
The Max I remember
wasn't an adventurous eater.
215
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,295
He would only eat foods
he could draw.
216
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:18,866
Well, he has certainly
broadened his horizons.
217
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,467
He's traveled
all over the world.
218
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:23,337
He can order chicken nuggets
in 12 different languages.
219
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:25,339
There was a time
I could order whiskey neat
220
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:26,840
-in 12 different languages.
-(chuckles)
221
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:29,910
Really, you just say,
"whiskey neat."
222
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:32,012
Yeah, Max told me
you stopped drinking.
223
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,347
That's great.
224
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:37,351
I've got a little over a year.
It's the longest I've ever gone.
225
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,586
I promised myself I wouldn't
reach out to Max again
226
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:40,888
until it stuck.
227
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,490
I didn't know
you reached out to him before.
228
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,726
Only 30, 40 times.
229
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:49,229
To be fair, a lot of those
were just me drunkenly singing
230
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,365
"Cat's in the Cradle"
on his voice mail.
231
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:53,934
So that's why
he hates that song.
232
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,702
Did you ever sing him
"Come On Eileen?"
233
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,605
Oh, I had my moments,
but I was never that drunk.
234
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,340
(laughs)
235
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,708
What up, YouTube?
236
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:04,745
And welcome to the premiere
episode of Hot Lots.
237
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,547
-This is our lot.
-And I'm hot.
238
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,148
Eh, and I'm here, too.
239
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,783
We are gonna document
240
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,119
the amazing transformation
of our home.
241
00:09:12,186 --> 00:09:13,554
We're gonna turn
this condominium
242
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:14,688
into a condo-maximum.
243
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:15,889
-(chuckles)
-That's right.
244
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,591
And if there are
any sponsors out there
245
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,493
who want to give us free stuff,
we're open to anything.
246
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:20,561
Even naming rights.
247
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,964
Like, over here could be
the Circuit City doorway.
248
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:28,135
Or around the corner we can have
the Souplantation laundry nook.
249
00:09:28,202 --> 00:09:30,604
(chuckles) Yeah.
Laundry and farting nook.
250
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,573
-What?
-What?
251
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:33,907
That's why people watch us.
252
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,343
They love those
classic Carter moments.
253
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:37,544
(chuckling)
254
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:40,781
Well, let me introduce you
to our dream team.
255
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:45,219
Our wonderful designer,
Sheila Silver.
256
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:47,855
Oh, hello.
257
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,991
I... I didn't realize
you'd be filming today.
258
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:54,595
I wouldn't have worn
this ratty old thing.
259
00:09:55,863 --> 00:10:00,834
And our contractor,
Gideon Yoderman.
260
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:01,635
Hey, y'all.
261
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,971
I am excited about
this renovation.
262
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:07,174
And yes, ladies, I'm single.
263
00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:10,277
I enjoy hiking,
carpentry, and sex.
264
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,346
Hey, the show
is called Hot Lots,
265
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,548
not Gideon Gets His Freak On.
266
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,985
Okay, so, what do we do first?
267
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,953
Well, I know y'all want
to open up this kitchen,
268
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,656
so we need to take down
this entire wall.
269
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,058
We just need to make sure
that there's no duct work,
270
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,793
plumbing, or electrical inside.
271
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,529
So how do we check for all that?
272
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:31,798
Well, my cousin Ernie would put
one foot in a bucket of water
273
00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,233
and then reach his hand
inside the wall
274
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,768
to see if he could
find anything.
275
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,171
Oh, sorry--
my late cousin Ernie.
276
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,772
CARTER:
Well, maybe cousin Ernie
277
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,642
needed a sledgehammer!
(grunts)
278
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,681
Yep, there's electrical inside.
279
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,683
♪ ♪
280
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,985
(snoring)
281
00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:56,190
(clears throat)
282
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,165
(snorts, grunts)
283
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,201
What's going on?
Oh, oh, you're awake?
284
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,202
Oh.
285
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,336
Hey.
286
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,605
Oh, I didn't hear you
come in last night.
287
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,640
I had a really interesting
dinner with your dad.
288
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,075
We had Ethiopian food.
289
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,344
Did you know he volunteers
for a charity in Africa?
290
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,279
Also, why don't you like
the song "Come On Eileen"?
291
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,515
-That's a heck of a tune.
-(groans)
292
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:24,218
-Good morning to you, too.
-Sorry.
293
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:25,319
You just...
294
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,820
You said you were
gonna come last night.
295
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,388
What happened?
296
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,823
(sighs)
Well...
297
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,892
I got done recording,
I got in my car
298
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:34,294
and then I realized,
"Screw this."
299
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:36,230
I-I got nothing
but bad feelings for him.
300
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:39,233
-Okay, but it seems like
he's on a good path. -(scoffs)
301
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,301
Well, you had
one dinner with him,
302
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,136
so you probably know him
better than I do.
303
00:11:43,237 --> 00:11:45,572
Okay.
Max, I'm-I'm only pushing this
304
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:48,976
because I know that you
miss having a dad around.
305
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,210
You wrote that beautiful song
306
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,179
about wanting
to reconnect with him.
307
00:11:52,246 --> 00:11:53,013
So?
308
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,214
Mariah Carey wrote a song called
309
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,883
"All I Want
for Christmas Is You,"
310
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:58,652
but you know she wants
more for Christmas.
311
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,656
Why are you being so stubborn?
312
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:09,263
I used to wake up on Saturday
mornings to watch cartoons...
313
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,598
...find him passed out
on the couch,
314
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,001
turn his head to the side so he
wouldn't choke on his own vomit
315
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,103
and then sit down
to watch Scooby-Doo.
316
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:20,474
He would've died if it wasn't
for this meddling kid.
317
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,977
So please, just drop it.
318
00:12:24,645 --> 00:12:25,946
I think you're making a mistake.
319
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,848
What part of
"I don't want to see him"
320
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:28,982
don't you get?
321
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,184
I know you think
322
00:12:30,284 --> 00:12:31,718
the world is all rainbows
and cat memes,
323
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:35,589
but this is my life, Kat,
and it's none of your business.
324
00:12:35,656 --> 00:12:37,224
(door closes)
325
00:12:43,564 --> 00:12:44,965
What's up, cuz?
326
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,266
What's going on here?
327
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,302
You got a court date?
A funeral?
328
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,537
Faking a funeral
to get out of a court date?
329
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,806
(chuckling)
I was at Grandma's last night.
330
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,274
She said she wants me
to get a job
331
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:58,579
where I wear a suit and tie,
so I got one.
332
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,647
Really?
What is it?
333
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,550
Vice president
of beer distribution.
334
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,287
Here you go, sir.
335
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:09,189
Distributed.
336
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,291
CARTER:
Hey, Max.
337
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:12,793
Give me a double shot
of tequila.
338
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,395
Sorry, my department
only handles beer.
339
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,332
You okay?
340
00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:19,299
Nope.
341
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,435
-This about your dad?
-Yep.
342
00:13:21,502 --> 00:13:23,604
You haven't had a drink
in a couple of months.
343
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,872
Sure the best time to have one
344
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:27,441
is when your alcoholic father
comes back?
345
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:29,409
Seems perfect to me.
346
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,145
All right.
I can give you a drink.
347
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:35,048
Or... I can give you
a sledgehammer
348
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,018
and you can go to my place
and smash stuff up.
349
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,653
Anybody there gonna have any
350
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,588
big feelings about my life?
351
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:45,259
If they do,
you're holding a sledgehammer.
352
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,166
If I put this video
on my dating profile,
353
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:55,135
you think women'll
buy that it's me?
354
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:56,904
Swipe right if you like a guy
355
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,639
who swings a big hammer.
356
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:02,009
That's gonna attract
the naughty girls. (chuckles)
357
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,744
So I'm gonna use it.
(laughs)
358
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,547
(Max grunting)
359
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,582
("Godspeed Your Love"
by David Segall playing)
360
00:14:08,649 --> 00:14:10,284
What's up, Kat?
361
00:14:10,384 --> 00:14:11,518
Hey, Carter.
362
00:14:11,552 --> 00:14:13,187
Look at this.
363
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:15,522
Who goes to a bar
and leaves this behind?
364
00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:19,026
Was it a mistake,
was it a warning?
365
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:21,161
What are you looking at?
366
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:24,097
-What's it to you, chump?
-Aah!
367
00:14:27,501 --> 00:14:28,569
Have you seen Max?
368
00:14:28,669 --> 00:14:30,671
He went to our place
to help with the demo.
369
00:14:30,771 --> 00:14:32,406
He seemed pretty upset.
370
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,309
Do you ever see somebody
making a mistake,
371
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,278
but you just don't know
how to help them?
372
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:39,613
(grunts)
373
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,281
Is this about Max and his dad?
374
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,850
Yeah.
375
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,252
Max could finally
have a father in his life,
376
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,154
but he just won't even
give him a chance.
377
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:50,190
There's a better chance
that dummy's body walks over,
378
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:52,326
grabs his head
and walks out of here.
379
00:14:52,426 --> 00:14:55,028
What I'm saying
is that's not gonna happen.
380
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:57,631
Right?
381
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,168
Why not?
382
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:03,837
I can't tell you
how many times a day
383
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,172
I wish I had just
384
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,374
five more minutes with my dad.
385
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:10,277
You want more time
with your dad.
386
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,680
That doesn't mean
Max wants the same thing.
387
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,416
But maybe it's about
what he needs.
388
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:19,753
What he needs is a girlfriend
who supports him.
389
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:20,954
I support...
390
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,991
The way he wants you to.
391
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,094
Okay.
392
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,197
But I just want to leave open
the possibility
393
00:15:30,264 --> 00:15:32,499
that everybody's wrong but me.
394
00:15:32,533 --> 00:15:34,301
(chuckling)
395
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,270
-Thank you, Carter.
-Hey, anytime.
396
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:39,873
♪ Never loved a girl like you. ♪
397
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,775
Hi, Carter.
398
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,510
Aah!
399
00:15:44,478 --> 00:15:46,213
♪ ♪
400
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,949
Well, how about that?
401
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:52,052
My video of me swinging
my sledgehammer
402
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:55,389
in my tank top has gotten me
quite a few likes.
403
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:56,523
Swipe right,
404
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,025
swipe right...
405
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,826
Oh, I know her.
406
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,295
Swipe right.
407
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,563
Hey, Max, you feeling better?
408
00:16:02,663 --> 00:16:04,565
I really do care about
your mental health,
409
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,033
but I also could use
my bathroom demo-ed.
410
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,301
Oh, Carter didn't say
411
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,635
anything about
redoing the bathroom.
412
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:11,638
No, he didn't, but once Max
knocks down a wall down,
413
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,006
I mean, we got to do something.
414
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,409
I was thinking maybe
a walk-in steam shower
415
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,444
with chromotherapy light,
eight body jets,
416
00:16:17,511 --> 00:16:18,478
and 16-inch rain shower.
417
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:20,981
Is just something
that popped into my head.
418
00:16:21,782 --> 00:16:23,417
Sorry if I got kind of crazy.
419
00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:26,954
It's just, seeing my dad
brings everything back again.
420
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,756
Oh, trust me, I get it.
My mom drives me nuts.
421
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:32,860
She calls me once a month to
complain that I don't call her
422
00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:34,361
and then criticizes me
for a hour.
423
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,096
That's why
I don't call you, bitch.
424
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,900
Am I awful that I won't even
sit down with him?
425
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,535
I don't think so.
426
00:16:41,635 --> 00:16:43,437
Families are complicated.
427
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,439
I mean, I know that
I've never been
428
00:16:45,539 --> 00:16:48,108
what my father thought
I should be.
429
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,811
I was never strong enough,
430
00:16:50,878 --> 00:16:52,479
never pious enough,
431
00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:54,581
never serious enough.
432
00:16:55,616 --> 00:16:57,651
Well, you know what, Father?
433
00:16:57,751 --> 00:17:01,088
You were never kind enough.
434
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:05,359
Never patient enough.
435
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,994
Never...
436
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,997
...loving enough.
437
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,535
Is that why you left?
438
00:17:14,635 --> 00:17:17,004
It was a big part of it.
439
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,107
I knew if I left I could
440
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,543
maybe finally be happy.
441
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:26,180
But I also knew
442
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,615
I would never
see my family again.
443
00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:33,987
Damn.
That's a lot to carry.
444
00:17:35,289 --> 00:17:37,524
I know you're in a tough spot,
445
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,726
but take it from me--
446
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,061
it's okay
447
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:44,631
to let go of someone
who's not good for you.
448
00:17:44,765 --> 00:17:46,567
Even if, deep down,
449
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:49,002
you love them.
450
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,805
Thanks, man.
451
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,576
Damn, now y'all got me
thinking about my mama.
452
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:58,979
Come on, let's go make some room
for that steam shower.
453
00:18:05,419 --> 00:18:06,687
(knocking)
454
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,388
♪ ♪
455
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,123
Dan?
456
00:18:10,858 --> 00:18:12,759
This is a dramatic development.
457
00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:15,429
♪ Dan, Dan, Dan! ♪
458
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:20,200
-Hey.
-Hi. Uh, come on in.
459
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,835
Thanks.
460
00:18:21,902 --> 00:18:23,837
Whoa. I saw something
like that once
461
00:18:23,904 --> 00:18:25,506
on a bad acid trip.
462
00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:27,140
-(laughs)
-Uh,
463
00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:29,309
I'm leaving tonight and I, uh,
464
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:32,112
I-I picked you up
a little something.
465
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:34,781
Oh.
(laughing)
466
00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:35,849
A hot towel kit.
467
00:18:36,016 --> 00:18:39,953
Well, it was either that
or a six pack of "Spree-tay."
468
00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:41,722
Thanks.
469
00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:43,724
Uh...
470
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,125
listen, I, uh...
471
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:46,994
I got a favor to ask.
472
00:18:47,761 --> 00:18:49,563
Uh, maybe we could
stay in touch.
473
00:18:49,630 --> 00:18:53,767
You could let me know
what's going on with Max?
474
00:18:55,369 --> 00:18:57,104
Look, um...
475
00:18:57,171 --> 00:18:59,373
I know you're really trying,
476
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:00,407
but I think...
477
00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:02,643
I think that has to be
Max's decision.
478
00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:05,179
Yeah.
479
00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:07,581
No, I-I get it, uh...
480
00:19:09,016 --> 00:19:10,484
Well, it, uh, you know,
481
00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:13,887
uh, maybe we'll see
each other again someday.
482
00:19:13,921 --> 00:19:16,623
-You, I hope I never see again.
-(chuckles)
483
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,060
Hey, Kat, have you seen my...
484
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,096
Dad.
485
00:19:24,031 --> 00:19:27,434
Uh, she didn't know
I was coming and, uh,
486
00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:30,971
you know, I-I didn't know
that you were here.
487
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,476
Take care.
488
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,412
Hang on.
489
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,047
Yeah?
490
00:19:41,515 --> 00:19:43,217
I-I... Hold on a sec.
491
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,485
I just...
I can't, with that.
492
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:50,824
Kat says she thinks
you've changed.
493
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:54,595
And maybe you are
a different guy now, but...
494
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,563
I don't care.
495
00:19:57,965 --> 00:19:59,900
I was ten years old
496
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,702
when you walked out.
497
00:20:01,735 --> 00:20:03,070
Ten!
498
00:20:04,004 --> 00:20:06,039
Who the hell does that?
499
00:20:07,174 --> 00:20:09,776
And now you want to come back
and, what, play catch?
500
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:11,545
No thanks.
501
00:20:13,013 --> 00:20:16,016
You taught me
one thing in life, Dad.
502
00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:18,385
How to get along without you.
503
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,256
So I really do hope that
you've turned your life around,
504
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:25,158
but I don't
need to be a part of it.
505
00:20:30,531 --> 00:20:32,599
Fair enough.
506
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:40,541
(exhales)
507
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:43,844
I know you think
I probably blew my one sh...
508
00:20:43,911 --> 00:20:46,180
(sobbing)
509
00:20:47,948 --> 00:20:50,517
Sorry, I...
I just... I can't...
510
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,589
♪ Ooh ♪
511
00:20:57,391 --> 00:20:59,526
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
512
00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:07,167
♪ Over any mountain ♪
513
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:10,137
♪ Across any sea ♪
514
00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:14,208
♪ There is no distance ♪
515
00:21:15,843 --> 00:21:18,679
♪ That's too far for me ♪
516
00:21:20,314 --> 00:21:23,584
♪ I will be right here ♪
517
00:21:24,785 --> 00:21:27,521
♪ I will be right here ♪
518
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♪ For you ♪
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♪ Yes, I'm waiting. ♪
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Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
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Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
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