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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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If you're gonna make me
pick you up, I expect coffee.
2
00:00:07,890 --> 00:00:10,101
There'll be one waiting
for you tomorrow.
3
00:00:10,179 --> 00:00:11,345
Any other requests?
4
00:00:11,347 --> 00:00:13,390
Yeah. Get your car fixed.
5
00:00:13,791 --> 00:00:16,274
I'm gonna win you over, bro.
It's gonna happen.
6
00:00:16,352 --> 00:00:19,536
Calling me "bro" shows the depth
of your miscalculation.
7
00:00:19,751 --> 00:00:21,084
Truck 12.
8
00:00:21,109 --> 00:00:24,205
Report of a small animal in
the attic at 187 South Kenzie.
9
00:00:24,230 --> 00:00:25,613
Truck 12 responding.
10
00:00:29,198 --> 00:00:31,435
Four play dates, a Spiderman
birthday party,
11
00:00:31,460 --> 00:00:33,451
two trips to urgent care...
and my parents are in town.
12
00:00:33,476 --> 00:00:35,052
Let's just go ahead and say
that they have opinions.
13
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:36,155
How was your weekend?
14
00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:37,401
- Yeah, pretty good.
- Mmhmm.
15
00:00:37,426 --> 00:00:39,684
I went to a club.
There were definitely drugs.
16
00:00:39,709 --> 00:00:42,392
I woke up naked on some boat
near Whitby Island.
17
00:00:42,469 --> 00:00:43,969
What about the other people on the boat?
18
00:00:43,971 --> 00:00:45,379
Also naked, yeah.
19
00:00:45,381 --> 00:00:46,799
Right.
20
00:00:46,824 --> 00:00:50,400
Look, it's not personal.
I'm just a lone wolf type of guy.
21
00:00:50,402 --> 00:00:54,388
All last year I had no partner
and it was... heaven.
22
00:00:54,390 --> 00:00:57,649
And this is so much worse.
23
00:00:57,727 --> 00:01:00,101
So, I guess it is personal.
24
00:01:01,247 --> 00:01:02,412
- Hey.
- Mmhmm.
25
00:01:02,414 --> 00:01:04,732
I'm thinking of getting a puppy.
26
00:01:04,734 --> 00:01:06,416
Look at her, Little Mabel.
27
00:01:06,418 --> 00:01:08,418
Why would you do that?
You have all the freedom in the world.
28
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,800
Yeah, but I envy you sometimes.
I live alone.
29
00:01:10,825 --> 00:01:12,178
It might be nice to have a dog around.
30
00:01:12,203 --> 00:01:13,621
Well, I have two.
You could just have one.
31
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One of them's incontinent for that extra
32
00:01:15,507 --> 00:01:17,473
feeling of agonizing responsibility.
33
00:01:17,498 --> 00:01:19,065
If that's what you're looking for.
34
00:01:19,415 --> 00:01:21,373
Maybe I'll just get a bird.
35
00:01:21,398 --> 00:01:23,192
Get a bird. Get a bird.
36
00:01:23,269 --> 00:01:25,961
Alright. You wait here.
37
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,829
There's a good coffee place
up the block.
38
00:01:29,663 --> 00:01:30,828
Rookie always pays.
39
00:01:30,853 --> 00:01:35,422
Oh. Yeah. Hazing recognized
and accepted.
40
00:01:37,278 --> 00:01:39,273
So I'll take a cara...
41
00:01:44,117 --> 00:01:45,651
What's up?
42
00:01:45,676 --> 00:01:46,767
Are you coming in?
43
00:01:46,792 --> 00:01:49,804
Oh yeah, for sure. It's just...
just gonna be one minute.
44
00:01:49,829 --> 00:01:51,179
I think my partner will be right back.
45
00:01:51,204 --> 00:01:52,446
I don't have a minute.
46
00:01:52,471 --> 00:01:54,472
It's my 10th anniversary and
I surprised my wife with brunch
47
00:01:54,497 --> 00:01:55,717
and whatever's up there
is killing the mood.
48
00:01:55,742 --> 00:01:56,784
Whew!
49
00:01:56,786 --> 00:01:59,436
Listen, man. It's my first week.
50
00:01:59,461 --> 00:02:01,651
I should really wait for backup.
You know what I mean?
51
00:02:01,676 --> 00:02:04,244
Come on. My wife's libido
is very delicate.
52
00:02:04,730 --> 00:02:06,081
Help a guy out.
53
00:02:08,585 --> 00:02:11,402
Yeah, so my name's Fred
but everyone calls me Shred
54
00:02:11,404 --> 00:02:13,588
'cause I used to be a
professional snowboarder,
55
00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:16,740
mostly half-pipe,
a couple silvers at Nationals.
56
00:02:16,818 --> 00:02:18,068
And then I tore my ACL.
57
00:02:18,093 --> 00:02:19,615
How long is this gonna take?
58
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,955
Not long at all.
59
00:02:21,323 --> 00:02:22,795
If I had to guess...
60
00:02:22,820 --> 00:02:24,991
it's probably just a sweet
little guy who...
61
00:02:28,798 --> 00:02:31,209
My eye! Your walkie went into my eye!
62
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,143
I'm sorry, it's just...
63
00:02:33,168 --> 00:02:36,539
The teeth, it's like a tiny...
furry vampire.
64
00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:37,664
I underestimated...
65
00:02:42,046 --> 00:02:43,653
Under... under the ottoman.
66
00:02:43,678 --> 00:02:46,012
Okay. Everyone stay calm.
67
00:02:46,014 --> 00:02:47,104
I got this.
68
00:02:47,532 --> 00:02:50,683
It's okay weasel... or whatever you are.
69
00:02:50,685 --> 00:02:53,611
We're gonna take you to
the coolest park in the city
70
00:02:53,613 --> 00:02:56,614
and these people are gonna celebrate.
71
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,242
Dude! Dude!
72
00:02:59,302 --> 00:03:00,543
Bad choice.
73
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,203
What do we do?
74
00:03:04,828 --> 00:03:06,641
Oh, little buddy.
75
00:03:08,218 --> 00:03:09,602
I got this.
76
00:03:10,414 --> 00:03:11,514
- Oh!
- Oh!
77
00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:12,630
Oh, come on!
78
00:03:13,650 --> 00:03:16,317
Go, go! Right here!
79
00:03:18,655 --> 00:03:19,970
We're not catching a break here.
80
00:03:19,972 --> 00:03:23,232
Ohhhh! It's under the stuffed couch!
81
00:03:23,234 --> 00:03:24,492
You gotta be kidding me.
82
00:03:24,517 --> 00:03:28,054
Okay. Don't worry. I got this. I got it.
83
00:03:44,681 --> 00:03:48,057
On a scale of 1 to 10,
how would you rate our service today?
84
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:16,219
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
85
00:04:21,916 --> 00:04:23,583
I made muffins.
86
00:04:23,608 --> 00:04:24,938
Uh-oh. You want something.
87
00:04:24,963 --> 00:04:27,222
What? No. Do you guys think I do that?
88
00:04:27,298 --> 00:04:28,631
Like I only bake when I want something?
89
00:04:28,708 --> 00:04:30,783
Aw, these muffs are
fresh out of the oven.
90
00:04:30,785 --> 00:04:32,393
This is gonna be horrible.
91
00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:33,803
No!
92
00:04:33,879 --> 00:04:36,231
Yeah, I feel bad but I need volunteers
93
00:04:36,256 --> 00:04:38,256
to clean the kennels this weekend.
94
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,603
There are nine dogs at Giardia.
95
00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:41,931
Whoever does it's gonna need
one of those counselors
96
00:04:41,956 --> 00:04:43,282
they send to mass shooting scenes.
97
00:04:43,307 --> 00:04:44,964
I nominate Frank
given the weasel debacle.
98
00:04:44,966 --> 00:04:46,384
He's the senior officer.
99
00:04:46,409 --> 00:04:49,244
Yeah. Frank, I just got an
earful from the superintendent.
100
00:04:49,269 --> 00:04:50,613
I was getting coffee.
101
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:52,488
I'm guilty of negligence,
not incompetence.
102
00:04:52,490 --> 00:04:53,774
It's a lower crime.
103
00:04:53,799 --> 00:04:55,253
Came to gloat about the weasel barbecue.
104
00:04:56,454 --> 00:04:58,045
You're here to enjoy my misfortune,
105
00:04:58,070 --> 00:04:59,328
which is a taunt, not a gloat.
106
00:04:59,405 --> 00:05:01,840
Always an education
when you talk to Frank.
107
00:05:01,865 --> 00:05:03,833
You're a rube. Do you know what that is?
108
00:05:03,909 --> 00:05:06,243
Rumor is, couple filed a complaint
109
00:05:06,321 --> 00:05:07,900
that'll require damage control.
110
00:05:07,925 --> 00:05:10,823
I'm offering my services, Emily,
'cause I know you get
111
00:05:10,825 --> 00:05:14,343
a little nervous and sweaty
in high-stress situations.
112
00:05:14,345 --> 00:05:18,106
Uh, no, no. I have everything
under control, Templeton.
113
00:05:18,182 --> 00:05:21,334
Well, when you don't,
I'll come back to gloat.
114
00:05:21,336 --> 00:05:22,610
Did I get that right, Frank?
115
00:05:22,687 --> 00:05:23,927
No, that was a threat.
116
00:05:24,005 --> 00:05:26,355
Ah... whatever. Word nerd.
117
00:05:26,432 --> 00:05:28,841
Okay. I'm gonna go change into a shirt
118
00:05:28,843 --> 00:05:31,119
that's dark enough to hide
my nervous pit stains.
119
00:05:31,195 --> 00:05:33,696
And right away I'm gonna
go ahead and apologize
120
00:05:33,773 --> 00:05:35,681
for sharing that information.
121
00:05:36,817 --> 00:05:38,535
Muffins... are over here.
122
00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:41,142
Why's that guy so mean to Emily?
123
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:43,631
He works at a rival precinct,
and he's gunning for her job.
124
00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:46,192
Yeah, she's not really suited
to a leadership position,
125
00:05:46,194 --> 00:05:47,756
but we have to make sure
she doesn't get fired
126
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,119
'cause she's really nice.
127
00:05:49,144 --> 00:05:50,638
And she's easy to manipulate
which is why we're
128
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:54,010
the only precinct with a
top-of-the-line Panini Press.
129
00:05:55,628 --> 00:05:57,312
Mmm. Spectacular.
130
00:05:57,388 --> 00:05:59,555
We got written up in Bon Appetit.
131
00:05:59,557 --> 00:06:01,223
Okay, here's a novel idea.
132
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:03,559
Try standing closer to the
toilet and actually aiming
133
00:06:03,561 --> 00:06:05,895
so the pee goes in the bowl
and not on the floor.
134
00:06:05,897 --> 00:06:07,322
That's a terrible idea for a novel.
135
00:06:08,474 --> 00:06:10,566
I will be instituting a key system.
136
00:06:10,643 --> 00:06:12,385
So if you have to pee, you come see Dee,
137
00:06:12,387 --> 00:06:13,886
there'll be a sign-in sheet on my desk.
138
00:06:14,164 --> 00:06:15,496
Not gonna do that.
139
00:06:15,498 --> 00:06:17,390
Frank! Frank!
140
00:06:17,392 --> 00:06:18,476
Frank!
141
00:06:18,501 --> 00:06:20,168
Listen, I'll talk to Emily
and take the heat
142
00:06:20,193 --> 00:06:21,597
for the weasel thing.
143
00:06:21,622 --> 00:06:23,425
Okay? I'll clean the kennels,
it's only right.
144
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:24,557
That would be stupid of you.
145
00:06:24,582 --> 00:06:26,185
It's what partners do, right?
146
00:06:26,210 --> 00:06:28,878
Look, I'm gonna be up front.
My plan is to get rid of you.
147
00:06:28,903 --> 00:06:30,403
And with the way bureaucracy works,
148
00:06:30,405 --> 00:06:32,180
it'll take about six months
to fill your seat.
149
00:06:32,256 --> 00:06:35,165
So that's gonna be all lone wolfy time.
150
00:06:38,371 --> 00:06:39,745
Hey, we talked about the howling!
151
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,765
Sorry Emily. How's that
espresso machine coming?
152
00:06:42,767 --> 00:06:43,933
Oh, yeah. I ordered it.
153
00:06:44,009 --> 00:06:45,434
Oh, you are the best!
154
00:06:45,511 --> 00:06:47,028
It's coming from Milan.
155
00:06:47,105 --> 00:06:48,506
You don't fool me, Frank.
156
00:06:48,531 --> 00:06:51,757
Underneath that crusty exterior
is a soft, chewy center.
157
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:52,925
Mmm... no.
158
00:06:52,927 --> 00:06:54,927
Yeah. He's not that kinda cookie, kid.
159
00:06:54,952 --> 00:06:56,406
What do you mean?
160
00:06:56,431 --> 00:06:58,781
Look, and you didn't hear this from us,
161
00:06:58,783 --> 00:07:02,435
Frank used to be a cop but then
he uncovered some corruption,
162
00:07:02,437 --> 00:07:04,879
and instead of cleaning it up,
they fired him.
163
00:07:04,956 --> 00:07:06,943
Whoa. That's heavy.
164
00:07:08,276 --> 00:07:11,001
Greenview Meadow Preschool.
Oh, God in heaven, no.
165
00:07:11,003 --> 00:07:12,795
There's no way this isn't
something awful.
166
00:07:12,872 --> 00:07:15,798
Hello? Yeah.
167
00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:17,040
Danny won't poop in school again.
168
00:07:17,118 --> 00:07:18,876
He's like me, he gets nervous
at away games.
169
00:07:18,878 --> 00:07:19,894
Aww, poor sausage.
170
00:07:19,971 --> 00:07:21,454
Yeah, go ahead and put him on.
171
00:07:21,456 --> 00:07:24,047
Hey buddy, it's okay, listen.
172
00:07:24,125 --> 00:07:26,231
Just like we do at home, okay?
173
00:07:26,569 --> 00:07:28,644
♪ I know what to do... ♪
174
00:07:28,721 --> 00:07:30,888
♪ when I'm about to poo... ♪
175
00:07:30,965 --> 00:07:32,890
♪ I go to the potty, ♪
176
00:07:32,967 --> 00:07:35,301
♪ pull my underwear down... ♪
177
00:07:35,303 --> 00:07:37,820
♪ And I sit and wait... ♪
178
00:07:37,822 --> 00:07:40,322
♪ I sit and wait... ♪
179
00:07:40,399 --> 00:07:44,252
♪ I sit and wait until
the poop falls down ♪
180
00:07:44,328 --> 00:07:48,906
♪ Then I wipe and wipe,
'till brown leaves town, ♪
181
00:07:48,983 --> 00:07:52,835
♪ I put it in the potty
and I flush it down ♪
182
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:54,700
Whooo! Banger!
183
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:56,633
Wow, sounds like you had quite a bit.
184
00:07:56,658 --> 00:07:58,658
I'm proud of you, my little soldier.
185
00:07:58,712 --> 00:07:59,894
Way to go, Danny!
186
00:07:59,919 --> 00:08:02,011
Okay. Alright. Bye.
187
00:08:02,087 --> 00:08:03,415
Hi.
188
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,097
I could use some help getting
a mastiff on the table.
189
00:08:05,122 --> 00:08:06,130
- No problem.
- Yes! I'll... I'll help.
190
00:08:06,155 --> 00:08:07,308
Absolutely.
191
00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:09,777
Hey... you're Shred, right?
192
00:08:09,854 --> 00:08:12,763
Hey. Oh yeah, hi. Nice to meet you.
193
00:08:12,765 --> 00:08:14,782
Are you the, um... hot vet?
194
00:08:15,023 --> 00:08:17,177
- No, we say that behind her back.
- Yeah.
195
00:08:17,202 --> 00:08:19,738
Oh God, I'm so sorry if
that came off disrespectful.
196
00:08:19,763 --> 00:08:22,992
I'll retract it and say
you're in no way hot.
197
00:08:23,017 --> 00:08:25,344
Doctor Summers.
198
00:08:25,369 --> 00:08:28,612
I don't wanna embarrass you
but I'm a huge winter sports fan
199
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:31,373
and I saw you at the X Games
in Whistler.
200
00:08:31,450 --> 00:08:32,800
- 2019.
- Yeah.
201
00:08:32,825 --> 00:08:33,878
Against The Goose.
202
00:08:33,903 --> 00:08:35,402
- Oh, so good!
- She's a fan.
203
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:37,431
You did that backside
right in front of me.
204
00:08:37,456 --> 00:08:38,497
She's a fan.
205
00:08:38,522 --> 00:08:40,193
They've been replaying it
on ESPN Classics.
206
00:08:40,218 --> 00:08:42,125
Every time I watch it, I think
I'm not gonna stick the landing
207
00:08:42,150 --> 00:08:43,629
and then I do...
208
00:08:43,654 --> 00:08:45,531
and it kinda blows my mind
all over again.
209
00:08:45,556 --> 00:08:46,583
So good.
210
00:08:46,608 --> 00:08:48,137
Anyway, sorry.
You needed help with something?
211
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:49,709
Uh, yeah that'd be great. Come on.
212
00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:51,035
Yeah. Sure. Yeah.
213
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:54,380
No. No. He does not get
to just sashay in here
214
00:08:54,382 --> 00:08:57,840
and have sex with someone
we've all been trying to nail for years.
215
00:08:57,865 --> 00:09:00,318
Yeah, he has to get in line
and wait like everybody else.
216
00:09:00,343 --> 00:09:01,826
Low rent Shawn White.
217
00:09:02,481 --> 00:09:03,981
Yo. Delores...
218
00:09:04,058 --> 00:09:05,574
I need the key.
219
00:09:05,651 --> 00:09:06,709
Name and time.
220
00:09:15,995 --> 00:09:17,553
Connie Lingus?
221
00:09:18,242 --> 00:09:19,724
Real mature!
222
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,704
You know what Mark Twain said?
223
00:09:25,729 --> 00:09:28,482
I'm not 100 percent
on who Mark Twain is.
224
00:09:28,507 --> 00:09:30,249
That's a whole other conversation now.
225
00:09:30,251 --> 00:09:32,342
He said if you pick up a starving dog
226
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:34,980
and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you.
227
00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:38,348
This is the principal difference
between a dog and a man.
228
00:09:38,426 --> 00:09:39,775
Is this about the hot vet?
229
00:09:39,852 --> 00:09:41,840
Yeah, of course it's about the hot vet.
230
00:09:41,865 --> 00:09:43,496
I've been laying the groundwork
for years.
231
00:09:43,521 --> 00:09:45,948
Do you know how many vaccination
clinics I've volunteered for?
232
00:09:46,025 --> 00:09:47,553
A lot of vaccination clinics.
233
00:09:47,578 --> 00:09:50,079
I've eradicated entire diseases
in pursuit of that woman.
234
00:09:50,104 --> 00:09:52,863
But dude, I'm not, like, a threat.
I have a girlfriend.
235
00:09:52,865 --> 00:09:55,504
She's a snowboarder, she's from Spain
236
00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:58,794
and if you'd asked me even
one question you'd know that.
237
00:09:58,871 --> 00:10:00,446
I'm not gonna lie,
that's a bit of a relief.
238
00:10:00,448 --> 00:10:03,312
Yeah, and if I was gonna dip
my toe into the work pool,
239
00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:04,894
it wouldn't be the hot vet.
240
00:10:04,919 --> 00:10:06,786
Well, not Victoria.
I got dibs there too.
241
00:10:06,788 --> 00:10:09,622
No. Emily. The boss lady.
242
00:10:09,624 --> 00:10:12,676
She's just so clumsy and
uncomfortable in her own body.
243
00:10:12,701 --> 00:10:14,977
I guess I just dig an awkward chick.
244
00:10:14,979 --> 00:10:16,996
This is a texture I didn't know you had.
245
00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:19,738
You see, this partnership...
it's blossoming.
246
00:10:19,763 --> 00:10:23,319
Oh, and I Googled wolves.
They run in packs.
247
00:10:23,395 --> 00:10:25,654
Well, except the lone ones.
Otherwise they would just be wolves.
248
00:10:25,731 --> 00:10:27,041
And you had to Google that?
249
00:10:27,066 --> 00:10:29,232
There's no shame in admitting
gaps in knowledge.
250
00:10:29,310 --> 00:10:30,993
Unrelated but also interesting...
251
00:10:31,070 --> 00:10:33,421
did you know snails can have sex
with themselves?
252
00:10:33,497 --> 00:10:35,923
Truck 12, neighbor complaint.
253
00:10:35,925 --> 00:10:38,759
Unlicensed ostrich farm.
360 North Harding.
254
00:10:38,836 --> 00:10:40,466
Truck 12 responding.
255
00:10:40,491 --> 00:10:42,708
Ostriches. I love this job.
256
00:10:52,925 --> 00:10:55,425
Hi, I'm Emily Price from animal con...
257
00:10:55,503 --> 00:10:58,779
Wow, that is worse than I thought.
258
00:11:00,508 --> 00:11:02,009
I brought muffins.
259
00:11:06,122 --> 00:11:09,410
Hey. Officers on the scene
with loaded snausages.
260
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:14,406
Never gets old, Tom.
What have we got here?
261
00:11:14,431 --> 00:11:15,665
Waiting for the coroner.
262
00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:18,023
The guy's been dead three days
and no one knew it.
263
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:20,427
His dog never left his side.
264
00:11:20,452 --> 00:11:22,011
We'll find him a good home.
265
00:11:24,790 --> 00:11:27,383
Three days. Can you imagine?
266
00:11:27,459 --> 00:11:29,885
Three days without anybody
knowing where I was.
267
00:11:32,707 --> 00:11:34,390
I'd kill for that.
268
00:11:35,059 --> 00:11:38,993
Hey. Hey, it's gonna be okay.
269
00:11:40,339 --> 00:11:42,948
Charlie. He's so cute!
270
00:11:48,222 --> 00:11:51,882
Whoa. Those are some tall birds.
271
00:11:51,907 --> 00:11:53,876
Yeah, and their eyes are bigger
than their brains,
272
00:11:53,901 --> 00:11:55,250
so you should feel right at home.
273
00:11:55,275 --> 00:11:57,093
Your ribbing feels affectionate.
274
00:11:57,118 --> 00:11:59,398
And I know you're going
for more emotional distance.
275
00:11:59,423 --> 00:12:01,917
Hey, your shirt's sticking out.
Let me fix it.
276
00:12:01,994 --> 00:12:04,178
There you go, now you look respectable.
277
00:12:04,255 --> 00:12:07,117
Look at you taking care of your partner.
278
00:12:07,142 --> 00:12:09,085
Bonding alert. Calling all units.
279
00:12:09,110 --> 00:12:10,144
Alright, calm down.
280
00:12:10,169 --> 00:12:12,481
Ma'am, hi. City of Seattle
Animal Control.
281
00:12:12,506 --> 00:12:13,989
Is it alright if we enter?
282
00:12:14,014 --> 00:12:15,604
Make sure to close the gate.
283
00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:18,067
Did my stupid neighbor call you?
284
00:12:19,344 --> 00:12:20,773
What's going on here?
285
00:12:20,798 --> 00:12:22,922
You making belts or selling their meat?
286
00:12:22,924 --> 00:12:24,365
I sell the eggs at the Farmer's Market.
287
00:12:24,442 --> 00:12:27,184
Well, you're gonna need a license
from the Zoning Commission.
288
00:12:27,261 --> 00:12:30,020
Uh... these guys like me.
289
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,845
Everyone likes you, Shred.
290
00:12:32,858 --> 00:12:34,481
Should I be concerned?
291
00:12:34,506 --> 00:12:36,337
Well, that's really up to you.
292
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:40,197
They are violent and strong and
have famously bad temperaments.
293
00:12:40,274 --> 00:12:42,550
Oh, and as you can see
they're really fast.
294
00:12:42,626 --> 00:12:44,534
So I would kick it up a gear
if I were you.
295
00:12:44,536 --> 00:12:47,537
In the meantime, I'll just be
writing this citation.
296
00:12:47,539 --> 00:12:50,891
It's bad, Frank! They won't stop.
297
00:12:50,968 --> 00:12:54,039
It's starting to feel
extremely targeted!
298
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:57,382
Yeah. Well, they either see you
as a food source or a potential mate.
299
00:12:57,407 --> 00:12:59,641
Either way, I would just
let nature take its course.
300
00:12:59,666 --> 00:13:01,281
They're relentless!
301
00:13:01,306 --> 00:13:03,220
But don't worry, I'm getting all of it.
302
00:13:05,557 --> 00:13:07,074
Look at 'em move.
303
00:13:08,630 --> 00:13:11,341
These muffins are delicious.
You have to give me the recipe.
304
00:13:11,366 --> 00:13:13,367
Oh, I will.
And you know what? They're healthy too.
305
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,367
Everyone in my office
has some kind of allergy
306
00:13:15,392 --> 00:13:17,470
so I can never bake anything fun.
307
00:13:19,497 --> 00:13:22,975
Look, we agree. We don't wanna
turn this into a big legal thing.
308
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,617
Great. Great.
And... and you have my word,
309
00:13:25,642 --> 00:13:27,595
the City will pay for everything.
310
00:13:27,597 --> 00:13:28,988
Okay.
311
00:13:29,013 --> 00:13:32,056
If you'll just excuse me, I'm
just gonna let somebody know.
312
00:13:34,351 --> 00:13:36,138
Emily said they're not going to sue
313
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:40,182
and sent a pile of poop emoji...
and a middle finger emoji.
314
00:13:40,494 --> 00:13:41,568
Whatever.
315
00:13:41,593 --> 00:13:44,928
Alright... I won't take up
anymore of your time.
316
00:13:45,006 --> 00:13:46,962
Thank you both.
317
00:13:47,432 --> 00:13:50,618
You didn't use sesame oil
in these, did you?
318
00:13:50,694 --> 00:13:52,687
You know what, I did.
319
00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:54,638
I find it just gives it, like,
a little tang.
320
00:13:55,770 --> 00:13:56,849
Oh God.
321
00:13:56,874 --> 00:13:58,363
- I'll get the EpiPen.
- Thank you.
322
00:13:58,516 --> 00:14:00,289
Wait, wait... what's happening?
323
00:14:00,314 --> 00:14:01,537
Call 911.
324
00:14:01,613 --> 00:14:02,688
Right now?
325
00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:04,903
No! Oh, no!
326
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:08,004
Knock it off.
This is not fun for me. This is not fun.
327
00:14:08,029 --> 00:14:09,658
I've never seen them like this.
328
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:10,773
Little help here, Frank.
329
00:14:10,798 --> 00:14:13,884
Man, they must, uh... smell
something on your clothes.
330
00:14:13,909 --> 00:14:15,484
What kinda detergent do you use?
331
00:14:15,509 --> 00:14:18,055
Tide liquid pods. They get out anything.
332
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,246
Maybe lose the shirt?
333
00:14:19,323 --> 00:14:20,756
Oh, oh yeah.
334
00:14:22,752 --> 00:14:25,403
That is pretty
disrespectful to the uniform.
335
00:14:25,405 --> 00:14:27,588
But you gotta do what you gotta do.
336
00:14:28,241 --> 00:14:31,242
Hmm. It's gotta be the pants.
337
00:14:31,244 --> 00:14:33,244
- The pants.
- Yeah.
338
00:14:35,431 --> 00:14:38,265
This is the weirdest strip show
I've ever seen.
339
00:14:38,342 --> 00:14:40,067
And I've seen a number of them.
340
00:14:46,275 --> 00:14:48,850
Is that your beef stick?
341
00:14:48,852 --> 00:14:52,096
In my defense, uh, I didn't
think it would work that well.
342
00:14:52,098 --> 00:14:54,540
Uncool, bro. Really Uncool!
343
00:14:54,617 --> 00:14:56,297
And I'm sorry to raise my voice
right now
344
00:14:56,322 --> 00:14:58,079
but I'm pretty high up in this tree
345
00:14:58,104 --> 00:14:59,603
and you crossed a line, brother!
346
00:14:59,605 --> 00:15:01,697
They could've taken my penis, Frank!
347
00:15:01,699 --> 00:15:04,884
Yeah, but they didn't and that's
what makes it funny.
348
00:15:04,961 --> 00:15:07,611
Dude, I know that the police
department screwed you over
349
00:15:07,613 --> 00:15:10,617
and people let you down
but to learn nothing from that
350
00:15:10,642 --> 00:15:13,657
except to be a jerk, that just
makes you a douche, dude.
351
00:15:13,711 --> 00:15:15,281
You're missing all the nuance.
352
00:15:15,306 --> 00:15:18,334
I'm a douche for a lot
of complicated reasons.
353
00:15:18,359 --> 00:15:21,175
Dude, I blew out my knee three
months before the Olympics.
354
00:15:21,177 --> 00:15:23,436
But I didn't let it make me
hate the world.
355
00:15:23,513 --> 00:15:26,347
We all have a choice in life
and I chose to stay positive.
356
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,556
Well, that just makes me
question your judgment.
357
00:15:28,581 --> 00:15:29,847
Well you'll be proud to know
358
00:15:29,872 --> 00:15:33,039
I'm feeling pretty negative
right now, Frank!
359
00:15:33,874 --> 00:15:36,449
You have a ticket for 600 bucks,
by the way.
360
00:15:36,526 --> 00:15:38,377
- Can I pay you in eggs?
- No.
361
00:15:40,237 --> 00:15:41,286
Yeah, come in.
362
00:15:43,125 --> 00:15:45,050
I'd like to request a transfer.
363
00:15:45,127 --> 00:15:47,035
My senior officer, by word and action,
364
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,296
has made it clear that
he doesn't want me around.
365
00:15:49,372 --> 00:15:51,615
Despite the rumors,
I'm not a people person.
366
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,875
Really? Are you sure?
367
00:15:53,877 --> 00:15:55,802
I'd have to move you to central
368
00:15:55,879 --> 00:15:58,689
and Templeton has the only free truck.
369
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,233
Yes.
370
00:16:01,258 --> 00:16:02,307
You heard the man.
371
00:16:04,054 --> 00:16:07,297
Templeton.
You'd really do that to Shred?
372
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,467
He'll be fine. He'll be happy
in literally any situation.
373
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,320
Which is the very trait that
makes him challenging for me.
374
00:16:13,396 --> 00:16:15,806
Well, what if you viewed it
as a growth opportunity?
375
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,915
I'm not looking for growth.
376
00:16:17,008 --> 00:16:18,969
If growth wants me bad enough,
it knows where to find me.
377
00:16:18,994 --> 00:16:21,328
Yeah. Alone in your apartment.
378
00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:22,904
Where I am so content.
379
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:26,258
Now... can I interest you
in a chicken pesto panini?
380
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,409
I wanna say no, but yeah.
381
00:16:28,411 --> 00:16:29,825
Your heart is black
382
00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:32,318
but you know how to make
a really good sandwich.
383
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,667
You guys making sandwiches?
384
00:16:35,321 --> 00:16:36,643
Oh!
385
00:16:45,279 --> 00:16:46,853
Hello? Who's there?
386
00:16:46,930 --> 00:16:50,431
It's Shred. I forgot my coat, so...
387
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:51,599
- Hey.
- Hey.
388
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,069
Oh, I'm sorry how everything worked out.
389
00:16:54,104 --> 00:16:57,456
I love Frank but sometimes he
can just be too much like... Frank.
390
00:16:57,532 --> 00:17:01,293
Yeah. I really thought I was gonna
be able to crack him, you know?
391
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:02,702
What are you still doing here?
392
00:17:02,779 --> 00:17:04,612
Oh, we have a pet adoption coming up
393
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,556
so I was just gonna get
these flyers out.
394
00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:07,923
Cool.
395
00:17:08,043 --> 00:17:10,469
You know, the thing about
snowboarding is
396
00:17:10,545 --> 00:17:11,853
it's a solo sport.
397
00:17:11,878 --> 00:17:12,879
Mmhmm.
398
00:17:12,904 --> 00:17:15,103
Like, when you're on the mountain
it's just you all alone.
399
00:17:15,128 --> 00:17:17,344
When I got injured nobody
found me for two hours.
400
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:20,294
What, so the Saint Bernard thing
is a myth?
401
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:23,223
I'm the wrong guy to ask.
I still sorta believe in Santa Claus.
402
00:17:24,318 --> 00:17:25,371
What?
403
00:17:25,396 --> 00:17:26,421
Oh.
404
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:27,521
Do you need a hand?
405
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,062
Um... yeah.
406
00:17:29,139 --> 00:17:32,382
Sorry. Thanks.
I can just be a little clumsy.
407
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,518
I know.
408
00:17:33,543 --> 00:17:36,903
You know, honestly... I don't
know that I'm cut out for this job.
409
00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:40,907
I mean, I sent that poor guy
to the hospital today.
410
00:17:40,909 --> 00:17:43,151
Yeah, but I almost burned down his house
411
00:17:43,153 --> 00:17:45,562
and sent him to the hospital, so...
412
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:48,248
That's true.
413
00:17:48,324 --> 00:17:50,658
Oh, I'm gonna miss seeing you
around the precinct everyday.
414
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,177
Yeah, me too.
415
00:17:53,422 --> 00:17:55,663
Um... but you know now that,
416
00:17:55,665 --> 00:17:58,575
I mean, I'm not gonna be your boss...
417
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,410
Like, we wouldn't...
418
00:18:00,521 --> 00:18:02,412
Sorry. Sorry. It's my girlfriend.
419
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,504
Oh, my God. Ah...
420
00:18:03,506 --> 00:18:06,507
- I should get this.
- Yeah, yes.
421
00:18:06,509 --> 00:18:09,032
Hey babe. I heard you got powder.
422
00:18:12,515 --> 00:18:15,592
What do you think, Charlie?
You like your new home?
423
00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:16,913
Yeah?
424
00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:20,997
Hang on.
425
00:18:32,386 --> 00:18:37,407
♪ And I wipe and I wipe
'till the brown leaves town ♪
426
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:43,251
♪ Put it in the potty
and flush it down ♪
427
00:18:43,472 --> 00:18:48,291
♪ Bye bye poo ♪
428
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,775
♪ Bye bye poo ♪
429
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,059
Shred Taylor
needs an 88 to get to on the podium.
430
00:18:54,084 --> 00:18:55,325
No way.
431
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,226
Here is another
look at his backside rodeo 540.
432
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:02,057
Will it be enough to medal?
And here comes the score...
433
00:19:02,082 --> 00:19:06,752
Oh! 87.3. Ugh, man, that is
heartbreaking.
434
00:19:06,828 --> 00:19:08,587
Shred Taylor finishes fourth.
435
00:19:09,998 --> 00:19:13,241
Look at this kid.
You'd never know he lost.
436
00:19:13,302 --> 00:19:14,735
Gotta love him.
437
00:19:22,919 --> 00:19:26,012
I'm not ready for a dog.
I need you to take Charlie.
438
00:19:27,329 --> 00:19:29,274
No, no. I have my own two dogs.
I'm fine.
439
00:19:29,276 --> 00:19:31,001
Oh my God, he's so cute!
440
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,886
Oh, do you want him? You guys love him.
441
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,005
You can have him.
442
00:19:35,030 --> 00:19:36,574
No, we're not taking the dog.
We don't need the dog.
443
00:19:36,599 --> 00:19:39,359
Also... I can't take care of this.
444
00:19:39,435 --> 00:19:41,936
I don't need this.
I already have lots of plants.
445
00:19:41,955 --> 00:19:43,059
I don't need more plants.
446
00:19:43,084 --> 00:19:46,124
No, don't go. No, stop that dance.
Come back.
447
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,169
You're so cute.
448
00:19:54,635 --> 00:19:57,451
Some dopey looking guy call for an Uber?
449
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,499
I knew you'd show up... partner.
450
00:19:59,524 --> 00:20:00,690
No, you didn't.
451
00:20:00,715 --> 00:20:02,549
And I'm getting rid of you as
soon as a decent rig opens up.
452
00:20:02,574 --> 00:20:03,929
I hope you know that.
453
00:20:03,954 --> 00:20:08,204
If I didn't know you were coming,
how come I got us coffee?
454
00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:10,148
'Cause you were gonna
brownnose Templeton.
455
00:20:10,225 --> 00:20:12,208
Whatever you need
to tell yourself, Frank.
456
00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:14,060
But I always knew you were
a pack animal.
457
00:20:14,137 --> 00:20:16,488
Yesterday you didn't even know
what a pack animal was.
458
00:20:16,639 --> 00:20:19,566
Oh! I also didn't know
that a newborn kangaroo
459
00:20:19,798 --> 00:20:23,782
- is the size of a lima bean.
- Okay.
460
00:20:25,815 --> 00:20:26,975
Templeton.
461
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,333
You didn't tell him
you were picking me up?
462
00:20:28,358 --> 00:20:31,306
Nah. It was a game-time decision.
463
00:20:33,156 --> 00:20:35,156
How would you feel about mooning him?
464
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:36,583
Very good.
465
00:20:36,585 --> 00:20:40,011
But this will be two days in a row
you've negotiated my pants off.
466
00:20:40,088 --> 00:20:41,490
Hmm.
467
00:20:56,012 --> 00:20:58,279
So you really filmed
the whole Templeton thing?
468
00:20:58,304 --> 00:20:59,488
Yes, I did.
469
00:21:02,573 --> 00:21:05,970
- To hell with Templeton!
- Nice touch.
470
00:21:10,210 --> 00:21:11,543
Good to have you back.
471
00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:13,269
Good to be back, boss.
472
00:21:13,288 --> 00:21:15,029
Holden Weiner?
473
00:21:15,031 --> 00:21:16,697
Holden Weiner? Really guys?
474
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:19,092
It's actually Wy-ner.
I get that all the time.
475
00:21:20,262 --> 00:21:22,295
I'm gonna need a signature
for the package.
476
00:21:22,372 --> 00:21:24,409
I think it's an espresso machine.
477
00:21:24,434 --> 00:21:25,875
Ooh! I'll take care of that.
478
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:30,136
Thank you Mister Weiner.
Thank you so much.
479
00:21:30,177 --> 00:21:31,571
Wyner.
480
00:21:33,549 --> 00:21:35,014
I think she sprung for the milk foamer.
481
00:21:35,039 --> 00:21:37,127
Emily, you are the best!
482
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,945
I'm getting a wine fridge next.
483
00:21:38,977 --> 00:21:42,977
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- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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