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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:04,839 --> 00:02:07,801 "The night was..." 2 00:02:23,358 --> 00:02:26,402 "The night was..." 3 00:02:42,085 --> 00:02:44,295 "The night..." 4 00:03:13,783 --> 00:03:16,077 The Phantom of the Novel... 5 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,205 ..is coming to haunt the pages of Larry Donner. 6 00:03:28,339 --> 00:03:30,841 Jeez, what the hell am I doing? 7 00:03:36,764 --> 00:03:39,767 Hello, Op. Remember me? Professor Blank? 8 00:03:39,850 --> 00:03:43,729 We're back. Well, I'm sure you all know the name Margaret Donner. 9 00:03:43,813 --> 00:03:46,065 - Unless you live under a rock. - No! 10 00:03:46,148 --> 00:03:51,278 Ladies and gentlemen, the author of the best-selling novel "Hot Fire". 11 00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:55,991 - Author of the best-selling novel? - You must be very proud of yourself. 12 00:03:56,075 --> 00:03:59,078 - Well, l... I am. - The woman stole my book! 13 00:03:59,161 --> 00:04:02,289 - What's to be proud of? -..and there's just you,... 14 00:04:02,373 --> 00:04:06,752 ..you facing you in that mirror, do you say "Margaret, you did it"? 15 00:04:07,336 --> 00:04:09,421 - Yes, I do. - Slut! 16 00:04:09,505 --> 00:04:12,424 She's a slut! Look at her! Slut! 17 00:04:12,841 --> 00:04:16,887 - Hey! Hey, man, your wife's on TV! - Ex-wife, Lester. Ex-wife. 18 00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:21,099 - She looks good! - Criminals don't age. It's a common fact. 19 00:04:21,183 --> 00:04:24,394 - What the hell do you want? - Something for a gig. 20 00:04:24,478 --> 00:04:28,357 - You got anything in green? - You borrowed all my green. 21 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:32,110 It is a lot more difficult for women to get themselves published... 22 00:04:32,194 --> 00:04:35,405 How about women thieves, Oprah? Big difference. 23 00:04:35,489 --> 00:04:39,242 I would say that, once I was divorced,... 24 00:04:39,326 --> 00:04:41,203 ..blissfully divorced,... 25 00:04:41,286 --> 00:04:46,249 ..a freedom overcame me, and I was allowed to be the writer, the artist,... 26 00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:51,129 ..that I was never allowed to be within the confines of my prison-like marriage. 27 00:04:51,213 --> 00:04:54,716 Did you think about writing when you were with this beast? 28 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,927 Well, I did. I did, yes. 29 00:04:57,010 --> 00:05:00,096 Because he fancied himself a sort of a hack writer. 30 00:05:00,180 --> 00:05:05,060 I watched him at the typewriter and - Oh, God, I can do that in spades. 31 00:05:05,143 --> 00:05:06,520 Then did, clearly. 32 00:05:06,603 --> 00:05:09,814 How do you think he will feel now about your success? 33 00:05:10,106 --> 00:05:13,902 Frankly, I don't really care how he feels. 34 00:05:13,985 --> 00:05:16,821 Well, Margaret... 35 00:05:18,573 --> 00:05:21,826 So she stole your book. Write another one and forget it. 36 00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:23,828 - I am writing. - Oh, you're writing? 37 00:05:23,912 --> 00:05:26,498 - Yes, I am. - Yeah, right! "The night was..." 38 00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:29,501 - The night was what? - I just started. 39 00:05:29,584 --> 00:05:33,797 - You been on "The night was" since July. - It takes place in the Yukon. 40 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,883 ..severed the ties. You live in Hawaii now. 41 00:05:36,966 --> 00:05:40,678 - Yes. I just adore a tropical climate. - Look at those earrings, man! 42 00:05:40,762 --> 00:05:42,847 It's your money. 43 00:05:43,598 --> 00:05:46,976 How was it that you, Margaret Donner,... 44 00:05:47,060 --> 00:05:52,982 ..produced such a brilliant piece of writing in... just your first time out? 45 00:05:54,442 --> 00:05:57,654 Well, Oprah, I mean... it's the story of my life. 46 00:05:57,737 --> 00:06:00,823 It's my life, Margaret! And I want it back! 47 00:06:00,907 --> 00:06:05,203 "Hot Fire", ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for being on the show. 48 00:06:05,286 --> 00:06:08,289 - My pleasure. - I want it back! 49 00:06:10,041 --> 00:06:12,126 Owen! 50 00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:14,086 Owen! 51 00:06:14,378 --> 00:06:16,255 Owen! 52 00:06:17,340 --> 00:06:21,260 Owen! Owen! 53 00:06:21,385 --> 00:06:24,430 - What?! - Get me a soda with some ice in it! 54 00:06:26,223 --> 00:06:27,892 - Owen, hurry up! - Momma... 55 00:06:27,975 --> 00:06:31,103 - Chop chop, Owen! Come on! - All right! 56 00:06:35,816 --> 00:06:38,736 - You were writing a letter! - No, Momma! 57 00:06:38,819 --> 00:06:43,282 You were writing to tell them to take me away! You want them to take me away! 58 00:06:43,365 --> 00:06:47,787 I'm writin' a story for class, Momma! I don't want 'em to take you away! 59 00:06:47,870 --> 00:06:50,372 - Yes, you do! - Owen loves his momma! 60 00:06:50,456 --> 00:06:52,541 "Owen loves his momma." 61 00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:56,795 Owen loves his momma, Owen loves his momma... 62 00:07:20,986 --> 00:07:23,489 - Hurry up with that soda! - Coming, Momma. 63 00:07:23,572 --> 00:07:27,493 "Coming, Momma." I'm choking to death, you moron! 64 00:07:27,826 --> 00:07:30,996 - You're too damn slow! - I'm sorry, Momma. 65 00:07:31,079 --> 00:07:33,540 "I'm sorry, Momma." 66 00:07:33,624 --> 00:07:37,377 - Where are the salted nuts? - The salted ones are no good for you. 67 00:07:37,461 --> 00:07:39,671 The unsalted ones make me choke! 68 00:07:49,931 --> 00:07:53,769 Aarrghhh! 69 00:07:57,689 --> 00:07:58,732 Momma! 70 00:08:00,859 --> 00:08:03,570 You clumsy poop! What'd you do that for? 71 00:08:09,868 --> 00:08:12,370 Come on, move it, lard-ass! 72 00:08:14,623 --> 00:08:16,708 Pick up every piece! 73 00:08:27,761 --> 00:08:29,262 "'Dive,... 74 00:08:29,346 --> 00:08:32,766 ..dive!' yelled the captain through the thing." 75 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:39,272 "So the man who makes it dive pressed a button or something and it dove,... 76 00:08:39,355 --> 00:08:42,692 ..and the enemy was foiled again." 77 00:08:42,775 --> 00:08:46,571 "'Looks like we foiled them again' said Dave." 78 00:08:46,654 --> 00:08:48,948 "'Yeah' said the captain." 79 00:08:49,407 --> 00:08:53,661 "'We foiled those bastards again, didn't we, Dave?'" 80 00:08:54,203 --> 00:08:56,289 "'Yeah' said Dave." 81 00:08:57,248 --> 00:08:59,334 "The end." 82 00:09:00,418 --> 00:09:02,295 OK. 83 00:09:03,046 --> 00:09:06,049 Here we have all the elements of drama. 84 00:09:07,091 --> 00:09:11,429 We have the tension, the horror of war... 85 00:09:11,512 --> 00:09:16,934 Uh... Mrs Hazeltine, when you're writing a novel that takes place on a submarine,... 86 00:09:17,018 --> 00:09:20,897 ..it's not a bad idea to know the name of the instrument... 87 00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:23,274 ..that the captain speaks through. 88 00:09:23,357 --> 00:09:28,237 - I used to know that. - And your similes... need a little work. 89 00:09:28,321 --> 00:09:32,700 "His guts oozed nice like a melted malted." 90 00:09:33,993 --> 00:09:36,704 Well, it's, um... a little... 91 00:09:36,787 --> 00:09:39,165 - Too harsh? - A tad. 92 00:09:39,623 --> 00:09:42,043 Otherwise it was, um... 93 00:09:42,126 --> 00:09:44,211 ..very good, it was, uh... 94 00:09:44,295 --> 00:09:46,380 ..very real. 95 00:09:53,804 --> 00:09:57,099 Here's another one. This is a real classic by Mr Pinsky. 96 00:09:57,183 --> 00:10:00,936 It's entitled 100 Girls I'd Like to Pork. 97 00:10:02,730 --> 00:10:04,440 Pork? 98 00:10:04,732 --> 00:10:06,901 It's a coffee-table book. 99 00:10:07,693 --> 00:10:10,529 100 Girls I'd Like to... hm. 100 00:10:13,657 --> 00:10:15,659 "Chapter 1 : Kathleen Turner." 101 00:10:16,285 --> 00:10:20,164 "Chapter 2: Cybill Shepherd. - Suzanne Pleshette." 102 00:10:21,165 --> 00:10:23,959 "Chapter 4: The Girl in the Taco Commercial." 103 00:10:24,752 --> 00:10:29,339 "Chapter 5: The Woman in 4B. - The Oriental Laker Girl." 104 00:10:29,423 --> 00:10:31,508 "Chapter 7: Chris..." 105 00:10:31,592 --> 00:10:34,052 Mr Pinsky, this is not literature. 106 00:10:34,136 --> 00:10:37,848 Well, you know, I would put in photographs,... 107 00:10:37,931 --> 00:10:41,935 ..a brief character sketch, like a biography,... 108 00:10:42,019 --> 00:10:44,187 ..and a nice dust jacket. 109 00:10:44,271 --> 00:10:48,775 - Mr Pinsky, what is this? - It's... Iiterature. It's a fantasy. 110 00:10:48,859 --> 00:10:52,446 Like Melville. This is my great white whale. 111 00:10:52,529 --> 00:10:56,116 - It's whacking material. - lsn't that literature? 112 00:10:56,199 --> 00:11:00,704 How do you associate Moby Dick to a list of women you'd like to have sex with? 113 00:11:00,787 --> 00:11:03,582 - I think it's brave. - He's vulgar. 114 00:11:03,665 --> 00:11:05,876 - They said Twain was. - I'm saying he is. 115 00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:08,587 - I think you're vulgar. - You're a no-talent shit. 116 00:11:08,670 --> 00:11:11,840 - Maybe I should change the title. - I like the title. 117 00:11:11,923 --> 00:11:14,551 OK, I'll see you Wednesday, class. 118 00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:18,221 Good work today. Remember, a writer writes... always. 119 00:12:01,097 --> 00:12:02,348 Argh! Oh! 120 00:12:02,432 --> 00:12:04,642 - This is your tie. - Oh, God. 121 00:12:04,726 --> 00:12:07,603 - You dropped it. - Oh. How'd that get in there? 122 00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:11,649 It got wet. I was afraid it would be ruined. 123 00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:13,693 Thanks. 124 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,862 - Hi. I'm Owen. - I know. 125 00:12:15,945 --> 00:12:18,364 Why didn't you read my story in class? 126 00:12:19,282 --> 00:12:22,618 - Your story? - Yeah. Murder at my Friend Harry's. 127 00:12:22,702 --> 00:12:25,037 Why didn't you read it? 128 00:12:25,121 --> 00:12:28,082 - I did. - You did? What'd you think of it? 129 00:12:29,167 --> 00:12:31,878 It's raining, lrwin. Can't we discuss it tomorrow? 130 00:12:31,961 --> 00:12:34,797 Owen. Didn't you like it? 131 00:12:34,881 --> 00:12:38,301 - Well... no. No, I didn't. - Why not? 132 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:41,887 It was three pages long. It was a murder mystery... 133 00:12:41,971 --> 00:12:45,349 ..that, by the way, was no big trick in finding the murderer. 134 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:48,269 - What gave it away? - You only had two characters,... 135 00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:51,272 ..one of which was dead on page two! 136 00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:53,607 Well, one guy killed the other guy. 137 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,611 - It wasn't motivated! - Sure it was. 138 00:12:57,695 --> 00:13:00,531 A guy in a hat killed the other guy in a hat. 139 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,576 I have to go now, Owen. 140 00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:10,624 Thanks. 141 00:13:10,708 --> 00:13:14,420 Hi, Beth. It's me. It's, uh... 10.30... 142 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:17,089 ..and I did it again. I'm sorry. 143 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:20,634 It's just that... Margaret was on the... 144 00:13:20,718 --> 00:13:23,345 Oy, there I go again. It's... 145 00:13:23,429 --> 00:13:26,557 I'll... Look, I'm sorry. That's all. Bye. 146 00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:35,607 So Margaret's a big star. That's life. 147 00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:38,569 This is life, too. That goes on, this goes on. 148 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,447 Hm. 149 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:44,658 The night was hot. 150 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:47,786 Wait, no. The night... The night was... 151 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,831 ..humid! The night was humid. 152 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,792 No, wait. Hot. Hot! The night was hot. 153 00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,295 The night was hot and wet. Wet and hot. 154 00:13:56,378 --> 00:14:00,674 The night was wet and hot... hot and wet... That's humid. The night was humid. 155 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:04,720 Maybe the night isn't humid. Maybe... the night isn't humid. 156 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:09,641 Maybe it was humid in the morning and at night it was cold. That gives you fog. 157 00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:11,435 Ha! The night was foggy. 158 00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:15,856 The night... The night was... The night was... 159 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:19,484 The night... The night was dry, yet it was raining. 160 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,237 The... The... The... 161 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,739 The streets were wet,... 162 00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:27,951 ..but the night... was as bright... 163 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,953 ..as... the... 164 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:34,332 ..earrings in Margaret Donner's ears! My God! I'm goin' outta my mind! 165 00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:35,834 Fuck it! 166 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:39,045 The... night... was... humid! 167 00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,256 That's it and that's all. 168 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:55,186 Stop it, dammit! I got a wax ball in my ear. Get it out. 169 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,774 - Momma! - You were writing to her, weren't you? 170 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:02,902 Don't start that again, Momma. And don't hit me! 171 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:06,739 - You love her. - There's no "her", Momma. 172 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:12,537 - You were writing a letter. - I'm writin' a story for class, Momma. 173 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:15,456 - I take a class. I take a nice class. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 174 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:19,919 - And I'm gonna be a writer some day. - You know how that typing upsets me. 175 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,588 I'm sorry, Momma. A writer writes. 176 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:25,716 You're gonna be nothing. You're gonna be nothing. 177 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:30,847 You'll never get to first base. All you do is type, type, type, type, type! 178 00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:35,101 You sit there typing all day like a fat little pigeon. 179 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:38,062 You won't ever hear it again, Momma. 180 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,939 I promise. 181 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,529 Aarrghhh! 182 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,573 - Momma... - I think you got it, sonny. 183 00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:52,994 I don't know what I'd do without you, Owen baby. 184 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:59,041 - I know, Momma. - Owen, my little baby. 185 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:02,253 - I know. - Owen, my little baby boy. 186 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:07,883 And even though he was mortally wounded,... 187 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,928 ..the guy in the hat got up... 188 00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:14,765 ..and pulled himself up and... 189 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:19,728 ..staggered out into the dark night... 190 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:23,440 ..Iike a milkman... 191 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:26,694 ..going out on his route. 192 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,029 There he is, Owen. 193 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:32,408 - Professor Donner... - Not now, Owen. Another time. 194 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:36,870 - Beth... - Don't bother. 195 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:39,915 - I gotta talk to you. - You're 16 hours late. 196 00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:43,961 And I'm sorry. It's just that... she was on the television. 197 00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,338 Margaret was on TV and my mind went nuts. 198 00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:49,883 My mind went crazy. I saw nothing but hate and death. 199 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:53,470 And I'm sorry, and I did call. I called you around 10.30. 200 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:56,515 - Where were you? - Did you think I'd stay in all night... 201 00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,684 ..staring at my tandoori chicken? 202 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,647 I know you're angry and... you have every right to be angry. 203 00:17:03,730 --> 00:17:05,774 It's just that l... 204 00:17:10,278 --> 00:17:13,156 - It's my class. - Ah. How do you do? 205 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,991 Hi. 206 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:18,036 - What's your name? - Beth Ryan. 207 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,163 She teaches anthropology. 208 00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,748 Beth... Ryan? 209 00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:25,794 Don't even think about it. 210 00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:27,963 Hang in there, Pinsky. 211 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:36,429 Come on. I'm sorry. Do you know that we are this far away from having a date? 212 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:37,973 We're just this far. 213 00:17:38,056 --> 00:17:40,183 - Hello, you're late. - I'm sorry. 214 00:17:40,266 --> 00:17:44,771 - You probably made tandoori chicken. - Come on in, Larry. Oh... 215 00:17:44,854 --> 00:17:48,525 Come on, gimme a second chance. What do you say? Come on! 216 00:17:48,608 --> 00:17:52,570 - I can't believe I'm saying this. Yes. - Yeah? Great! 217 00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,031 Professor Donner, I saw your wife on Oprah! 218 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,658 Ex-wife. Ex! 219 00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:59,077 What's with him? 220 00:18:01,079 --> 00:18:03,164 I can't get over this. 221 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,750 - Why? - Why? Why?! 222 00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:08,336 She steals my book! OK? 223 00:18:08,419 --> 00:18:12,882 - She goes on national television... - I'm not gonna sit here and be barked at. 224 00:18:13,424 --> 00:18:16,344 Wait. Listen to me, Beth. The problem is... 225 00:18:16,427 --> 00:18:19,973 ..I can't write. I'm dead inside. I have no passion. 226 00:18:20,056 --> 00:18:24,435 You have passion. When you talk about Margaret, you have passion. 227 00:18:24,519 --> 00:18:26,771 Slut! 228 00:18:27,230 --> 00:18:29,315 No, my ex-wife is a major slut. 229 00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,692 - But you're not a slut. - Thank you! 230 00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:36,989 I'm talking about passion! It's selfless, committed, overflowing! 231 00:18:37,073 --> 00:18:39,158 Not hate and murder! 232 00:18:39,242 --> 00:18:42,411 And slut! I hate her! I wish she was dead! 233 00:18:53,547 --> 00:18:54,715 Chill out. 234 00:18:56,801 --> 00:18:58,511 Thank you. 235 00:18:58,594 --> 00:19:00,471 It's so beautiful! 236 00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:03,933 It's very good, Phil. Very, very good. 237 00:19:04,016 --> 00:19:08,562 Forty yards of Naugahyde, a girl and a dream. What can I say? It's... 238 00:19:08,646 --> 00:19:11,023 Well, I wrote it just like I lived it. 239 00:19:11,107 --> 00:19:14,777 Which is what you've been - to write what we know. 240 00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:19,198 It's very good. It'll blow the lid off the upholstery business as we know it. 241 00:19:19,281 --> 00:19:21,575 - Thank you. - OK. 242 00:19:23,452 --> 00:19:28,666 Next is Murder at my Friend Harry's by Owen... Lift. 243 00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:36,298 "Chapter 1. The night was humid." 244 00:19:37,966 --> 00:19:40,177 Class dismissed. 245 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:43,180 I have an enormous headache in my eye. 246 00:19:58,570 --> 00:20:00,656 Yuck. 247 00:20:10,874 --> 00:20:13,168 OWEN 248 00:20:57,128 --> 00:21:01,466 I'm so sorry about the cafeteria. It was Norman Bates in concert. 249 00:21:01,549 --> 00:21:05,261 It's just that I see her and l... 250 00:21:05,345 --> 00:21:08,056 - You wanna kill her. - Metaphorically, yes. 251 00:21:08,139 --> 00:21:10,642 Specifically, without a doubt. 252 00:21:12,644 --> 00:21:16,147 - I'm glad you called. - Me, too. 253 00:21:16,231 --> 00:21:18,024 I like trains. 254 00:21:18,107 --> 00:21:21,945 Every great romance or mystery has a train in it. 255 00:21:22,028 --> 00:21:24,572 - Is this gonna be a great romance? - Could be. 256 00:21:24,656 --> 00:21:28,785 We have a train, we have the moon, we have compatible body parts. 257 00:21:29,702 --> 00:21:32,538 - Would you like to kiss me? - I don't know. 258 00:21:32,622 --> 00:21:34,707 You don't know? 259 00:21:37,418 --> 00:21:39,712 Oh, you're so sweet, Beth. 260 00:21:39,796 --> 00:21:42,256 Oh, Larry, would you like to date me? 261 00:21:42,340 --> 00:21:47,762 - This isn't a date? - Mmm... I was speaking euphemistically. 262 00:21:47,845 --> 00:21:51,098 - So you're... you're saying...? - Yeah, yeah. 263 00:21:51,182 --> 00:21:54,518 So you're saying...? Yeah, you are. I can feel that. 264 00:21:57,146 --> 00:22:01,025 - You're saying no? - Kids are gonna sit here tomorrow. 265 00:22:01,108 --> 00:22:03,194 Awww... 266 00:22:04,820 --> 00:22:07,406 - I wanna make love to you, Beth. - Oh, Larry... 267 00:22:07,490 --> 00:22:09,784 Sometime in the very near future. 268 00:22:09,867 --> 00:22:12,411 - Huh? - I can't. 269 00:22:12,495 --> 00:22:14,663 - What? - I have writer's block. 270 00:22:14,747 --> 00:22:17,541 - Everywhere? - Yeah. It's no good. I can't. 271 00:22:19,919 --> 00:22:23,589 - On the train? - Oh, I wanna ring the bell. 272 00:22:30,346 --> 00:22:32,431 - Oh, take me, Casey. - Who? 273 00:22:32,514 --> 00:22:35,684 - Take me, Casey. - I'm taking you, I'm taking you. 274 00:22:41,899 --> 00:22:43,984 - Hi. - Oh, God! 275 00:22:46,028 --> 00:22:48,822 Do you know Owen? This is Owen. Owen is a dead man. 276 00:22:48,906 --> 00:22:52,493 - Did I come at a bad time? - Owen... I'm dating. 277 00:22:53,368 --> 00:22:55,829 You read it, right? My story? 278 00:22:55,913 --> 00:22:57,998 - Yes. - Good. 279 00:22:59,041 --> 00:23:02,377 Owen, you cannot follow me around asking me questions. 280 00:23:02,461 --> 00:23:06,840 This stuff belongs in the classroom. Not on my time. Do you understand me? 281 00:23:07,674 --> 00:23:09,676 Oh. 282 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,845 I'm sorry. 283 00:23:12,554 --> 00:23:14,806 Good night, Miss Ryan. 284 00:23:18,143 --> 00:23:20,145 - Did you like it? - No! 285 00:23:25,984 --> 00:23:28,070 Why didn't you like it? 286 00:23:28,361 --> 00:23:33,158 Because in a novel people have to have more of a reason to commit a murder. 287 00:23:33,241 --> 00:23:37,287 If they just do it because they're crazy, it's not strong enough for a novel. 288 00:23:37,370 --> 00:23:41,708 You mean, if someone ruined you permanently, then you could murder 'em? 289 00:23:41,791 --> 00:23:46,296 Yes. Which brings us to the second point. - you have to eliminate it. 290 00:23:47,005 --> 00:23:51,384 - Eliminate the motive. - Correct. I'll give you an example. 291 00:23:51,468 --> 00:23:54,220 My ex-wife. I hate her guts, right? 292 00:23:54,304 --> 00:23:59,100 Yeah. I overheard you in the cafeteria. She really ruined you. 293 00:23:59,184 --> 00:24:03,521 Yes, she did. And I hate her with a passion. But I would never murder her. 294 00:24:04,397 --> 00:24:06,941 - You'd get caught. - Absolutely right. 295 00:24:07,025 --> 00:24:10,904 I would get caught because I have a motive and people know that. 296 00:24:11,779 --> 00:24:14,407 I got a similar problem with my momma. 297 00:24:15,283 --> 00:24:20,496 Well, look at this, Owen. This is amazing. You and I have something in common. 298 00:24:21,164 --> 00:24:24,417 - We do? - Absolutely. Think about what I'm saying. 299 00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:28,004 And then you just draw on your own personal experiences. 300 00:24:28,087 --> 00:24:32,383 You mean... how do you murder and not get caught? 301 00:24:32,467 --> 00:24:34,969 So how do you not get caught? 302 00:24:35,803 --> 00:24:38,431 Owen? How do you not get caught? 303 00:24:38,514 --> 00:24:42,018 By eliminating the motive and establishing an alibi. 304 00:24:43,478 --> 00:24:48,357 - How? - I can't tell you everything. I don't know. 305 00:24:48,441 --> 00:24:51,652 - Go see a Hitchcock film. - Wanna go to the movies with me? 306 00:24:51,736 --> 00:24:55,406 No, I don't wanna go to the movies. It's real late and l... 307 00:24:55,489 --> 00:24:58,784 I'm gonna go now. You're gonna be fine. OK? 308 00:25:00,244 --> 00:25:03,664 - Thank you, Professor Donner. - Good night, Owen. 309 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,294 Eliminate the motive. 310 00:25:09,211 --> 00:25:10,796 Eliminate... 311 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,965 Elim... 312 00:25:13,049 --> 00:25:15,134 Eliminate the motive. 313 00:25:16,510 --> 00:25:18,596 Motive. 314 00:25:19,972 --> 00:25:21,849 Hitchcock. 315 00:25:22,433 --> 00:25:25,144 Let's say that you'd like to get rid ofyour wife. 316 00:25:25,478 --> 00:25:27,771 Let's say that you have a very good reason. 317 00:25:27,855 --> 00:25:30,900 - No, let's not... - No, no. Let's say. 318 00:25:30,983 --> 00:25:34,695 You'd be afraid to kill her. You know why? You'd get caught. 319 00:25:34,778 --> 00:25:38,115 And what would trip you up? The motive. 320 00:25:38,616 --> 00:25:43,120 Ah. Now here's my idea. It's so simple, too. 321 00:25:43,704 --> 00:25:47,291 Two fellows meet accidentally, like you and me. 322 00:25:47,374 --> 00:25:51,045 Each one has somebody that he'd like to get rid of. 323 00:25:51,503 --> 00:25:54,423 So... they swap murders. 324 00:25:54,882 --> 00:25:58,802 - Swap murders? - Each fellow does the other's murder. 325 00:25:58,886 --> 00:26:02,973 Then there's nothing to connect them. Each one has murdered a total stranger. 326 00:26:03,265 --> 00:26:06,476 Like... you do my murder, I do yours. 327 00:26:07,394 --> 00:26:10,355 Your wife, my father. Crisscross. 328 00:26:10,439 --> 00:26:14,067 Some people are better off dead. Each one has murdered a total stranger. 329 00:26:14,151 --> 00:26:17,529 They swap murders. You do my murder. Crisscross. 330 00:26:17,613 --> 00:26:18,655 I do yours. 331 00:26:18,739 --> 00:26:21,199 They swap murders. Crisscross. 332 00:26:21,533 --> 00:26:23,785 Crisscross. 333 00:26:25,162 --> 00:26:29,958 "Choo-Choo Charlie said - I think I can. I know I can." 334 00:26:30,042 --> 00:26:34,796 "He opened up his throttle and pushed and pulled and pushed and pulled... 335 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:39,634 ..and it spluttered some more and then... and then he... and then..." 336 00:26:43,305 --> 00:26:45,724 - How's that blockage problem? - All aboard! 337 00:26:45,807 --> 00:26:47,601 Woo-woo! 338 00:26:47,684 --> 00:26:49,769 No, no. Don't. Don't. 339 00:26:50,478 --> 00:26:54,107 - I'm buying a gun, Owen. - You must wonder what happened to me. 340 00:26:54,190 --> 00:26:57,485 - Uh... no, not at all. - I saw that movie. 341 00:26:57,569 --> 00:26:58,903 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 342 00:26:58,987 --> 00:27:02,323 I know now what you tried to tell me, Professor Donner. 343 00:27:02,407 --> 00:27:03,950 - Oh, good. - Crisscross. 344 00:27:04,034 --> 00:27:05,577 Owen! 345 00:27:05,660 --> 00:27:09,122 - I'll call you in a few days, pal. - Take your time, Owen. OK? 346 00:27:09,205 --> 00:27:11,541 - Bye. - Owen! 347 00:27:12,375 --> 00:27:14,919 - Coming, Momma! - Who were you talking to? 348 00:27:15,003 --> 00:27:18,798 - I just called the weather. - You were talking to a machine? 349 00:27:22,385 --> 00:27:25,013 Two minutes ago you were my agent, and now... 350 00:27:25,096 --> 00:27:27,974 Larry, I'm sorry. That's the way the mop flops. 351 00:27:28,057 --> 00:27:31,102 After seven years I get "That's the way the mop flops"? 352 00:27:31,185 --> 00:27:35,148 Larry, you must feel like this is the lowest point of your entire life. 353 00:27:35,231 --> 00:27:38,901 Arnie, what are you doing? Don't bend the fern. Fluff it! 354 00:27:38,985 --> 00:27:43,072 How, as a human being, can you give up on somebody after seven years? 355 00:27:43,156 --> 00:27:48,119 Larry, this is a whole other agency. Besides, you've never written anything. 356 00:27:48,202 --> 00:27:50,288 What about Hot Fire? 357 00:27:50,913 --> 00:27:55,042 This may be a tad bit disturbing, but we've just signed your wife on as a client. 358 00:27:55,126 --> 00:27:58,713 Get me a doctor, Joel. I'm having a heart attack. 359 00:27:58,796 --> 00:28:01,173 The book sold two million copies! Arnie... 360 00:28:01,257 --> 00:28:04,218 But I wrote that and you know that! Arnie knows that! 361 00:28:04,302 --> 00:28:07,263 Margaret couldn't write her name in the snow! 362 00:28:07,346 --> 00:28:11,684 Larry, for seven years I've given you assignments. I've made your deals. 363 00:28:11,767 --> 00:28:15,938 And for seven years you didn't want to "compromise your art"! 364 00:28:16,022 --> 00:28:20,109 Oh, boy. It is just like an agent to think that a writer can't be an artist. 365 00:28:20,192 --> 00:28:23,571 - Don't change the subject. Where was l? - You were letting me go. 366 00:28:23,654 --> 00:28:24,739 Thank you. 367 00:28:24,822 --> 00:28:28,492 For four years you've been writing a novel no one has ever seen. 368 00:28:28,576 --> 00:28:32,872 So you get the shaft from your wife. It's another excuse for not writing. 369 00:28:32,955 --> 00:28:38,460 Well, go ahead, Larry! Go! Go to Mexico! Write your heart out! Andele, arriba! 370 00:28:38,544 --> 00:28:41,297 But I handle writers, Larry, not artists. 371 00:28:41,380 --> 00:28:44,425 You go be an artist. Let the rest of the world make a living. 372 00:28:44,508 --> 00:28:47,845 Here. It's my favourite fuchsia. Live and be well. 373 00:29:10,284 --> 00:29:12,703 That's the house. This is good here. 374 00:29:15,998 --> 00:29:20,085 - I'll be right back. I'm gonna visit my aunt. - OK, bro. 375 00:29:59,416 --> 00:30:02,002 Oh, shit. 376 00:30:44,377 --> 00:30:46,462 Why, Mr Lopez. 377 00:30:52,218 --> 00:30:54,512 Can I borrow that... towel? 378 00:31:00,810 --> 00:31:02,895 My big Chihuahua. 379 00:31:04,856 --> 00:31:06,941 Oh! 380 00:31:11,279 --> 00:31:13,364 Grrr! Ruff, ruff! 381 00:31:18,828 --> 00:31:20,913 Ruff, ruff! Ruff! Grrr! 382 00:31:27,044 --> 00:31:29,130 Ruff, ruff, ruff! 383 00:31:34,635 --> 00:31:36,720 Ruff! Ruff! 384 00:31:43,978 --> 00:31:46,063 - Ruff, ruff! - Hello? 385 00:31:46,689 --> 00:31:49,191 Oh, hi, Joel. It's my agent. 386 00:31:49,275 --> 00:31:51,360 - Ruff! - My agente. 387 00:31:52,987 --> 00:31:54,822 How's LA, darling? 388 00:31:54,905 --> 00:31:58,450 Oh, nothing much. I'm having a little trouble with the... gardener. 389 00:31:58,534 --> 00:32:01,161 - Ruff... ruff... - What sound, sweetie? 390 00:32:01,245 --> 00:32:03,330 Oh, that's the... the TV. 391 00:32:03,414 --> 00:32:06,083 - Ruff! Ru-ruff! - Uh... Old Yeller. 392 00:32:07,251 --> 00:32:09,420 Yes, I know they shot him in the end. 393 00:32:10,379 --> 00:32:12,464 Huh? Yes, darling. 394 00:32:12,548 --> 00:32:16,301 I'm aware of the book signing tonight... in Maui. 395 00:32:17,386 --> 00:32:19,513 I'll be there. Kiss, kiss. 396 00:32:58,260 --> 00:33:00,345 Bye, Mr Lopez. 397 00:33:21,991 --> 00:33:24,077 Last boat to Maui! 398 00:34:03,407 --> 00:34:05,743 This is my first trip to the islands. 399 00:34:54,291 --> 00:34:55,960 Oh! 400 00:34:57,044 --> 00:34:58,921 Oh, my God! 401 00:35:32,829 --> 00:35:34,915 The night... 402 00:35:35,082 --> 00:35:37,626 ..was...n't. 403 00:35:38,877 --> 00:35:40,962 Oy. 404 00:35:43,340 --> 00:35:47,761 There's probably halibut right here who could write better than me. 405 00:35:51,473 --> 00:35:54,184 Boy. The night was... 406 00:35:57,229 --> 00:35:59,773 If you got a line, fish, just yell it out. 407 00:36:00,899 --> 00:36:02,984 I'm up for grabs. 408 00:36:08,531 --> 00:36:10,825 Perfect. 409 00:36:34,974 --> 00:36:37,602 What about Brenda Lee? You like Brenda Lee? 410 00:36:37,685 --> 00:36:39,771 - The jockey? - No. 411 00:36:46,069 --> 00:36:48,571 - Cloudy. - Aloha. 412 00:36:49,948 --> 00:36:52,200 - What? - I said aloha. 413 00:36:52,575 --> 00:36:54,661 - Hello. - Professor Donner? 414 00:36:55,953 --> 00:36:57,622 - Hello? - Hello! 415 00:36:59,540 --> 00:37:02,126 - Hello. - Professor Donner, stay by the phone. 416 00:37:02,210 --> 00:37:04,629 I don't want 'em to be able to trace the call. 417 00:37:20,603 --> 00:37:22,772 - Who is this? - Professor Donner? 418 00:37:24,106 --> 00:37:26,692 - Aloha! Hello! - Who is this? 419 00:37:26,776 --> 00:37:28,861 It's Owen! 420 00:37:30,321 --> 00:37:32,740 - Owen? - Yeah, from class! 421 00:37:32,823 --> 00:37:34,909 What do you want? 422 00:37:35,618 --> 00:37:38,954 It's done. You want anything from Hawaii? 423 00:37:40,164 --> 00:37:42,666 - Hawaii? - Wiki-wiki. 424 00:37:42,750 --> 00:37:44,835 Aloha 'oe 425 00:37:44,919 --> 00:37:49,048 - What are you doing in Hawaii? - Crisscross. You know. 426 00:37:50,758 --> 00:37:53,052 Owen, I'm hanging up on you now. 427 00:37:53,344 --> 00:37:56,222 Oh, yeah, right! I got ya! Boy, are you smart! 428 00:38:04,897 --> 00:38:10,277 She didn't feel a thing. I know how important that is to you. 429 00:38:10,611 --> 00:38:12,696 - Who? - Your wife. 430 00:38:13,739 --> 00:38:17,493 She had a little trouble walkin', but that was from the gardener. 431 00:38:17,576 --> 00:38:21,455 - You saw my wife? - She was kind of a tart, Larry. 432 00:38:21,538 --> 00:38:24,625 But I can see why you married her. She was very beautiful. 433 00:38:24,708 --> 00:38:27,294 Owen, you stay away from my wife. 434 00:38:34,801 --> 00:38:38,555 Did you hear what I said, Owen? You stay away from my wife. 435 00:38:38,639 --> 00:38:42,851 - I told you, it's done. Nobody saw. - What the hell are you talking about? 436 00:38:42,934 --> 00:38:45,562 Crisscross, like in the movie. Done! 437 00:38:46,063 --> 00:38:49,483 Owen, what the hell did you do to my wife? 438 00:38:49,566 --> 00:38:51,902 I... I don't wanna say on the phone. 439 00:38:51,985 --> 00:38:55,113 All I can tell you is that I killed her last night. 440 00:38:57,449 --> 00:38:59,743 My God! Oh, my God. 441 00:39:00,327 --> 00:39:02,412 Oh, my God. 442 00:39:04,539 --> 00:39:07,626 Owen, what the hell did you do? Tell me the truth. 443 00:39:07,709 --> 00:39:11,213 Meet me tonight at 7.30 at Mulholland Drive and Cahuenga Pass. 444 00:39:11,296 --> 00:39:14,966 - We'll discuss your end ofthe bargain. - What are you talking about? 445 00:39:15,050 --> 00:39:17,719 - You gotta kill my mother. - Kill your mother?! 446 00:39:17,802 --> 00:39:20,305 7.30, Cahuenga Pass. Crisscross. 447 00:39:20,388 --> 00:39:22,474 Owen, l... 448 00:39:22,849 --> 00:39:24,851 Crisscross... Criss... 449 00:39:24,934 --> 00:39:29,022 Holy shit. He did it. He did it! The little bastard did it! 450 00:39:29,105 --> 00:39:33,109 He killed my wi... No, he didn't do it. He couldn't poss... No, he didn't do it. 451 00:39:33,193 --> 00:39:35,820 I'll call her up, call her up on the phone. 452 00:39:35,904 --> 00:39:39,407 She'll answer the phone, I'll hang up, and she won't be dead. 453 00:39:39,491 --> 00:39:41,576 That's it and that's all. 454 00:39:52,003 --> 00:39:56,841 Come on, come on, Margaret. Answer the phone. Answer the phone, Margaret. 455 00:39:57,258 --> 00:40:00,303 Why the hell isn't she answering the phone? 456 00:40:00,386 --> 00:40:04,432 Because she's dead. That's why she's not answering the phone. 457 00:40:04,515 --> 00:40:07,393 You don't answer the phone when you're dead! 458 00:40:09,353 --> 00:40:12,648 They're gonna think I did it. They're gonna think that I did it! 459 00:40:12,732 --> 00:40:15,985 Why would they think that I did it? Because I hate her guts! 460 00:40:16,068 --> 00:40:18,946 That's why they'll think that I did it. My God... 461 00:40:19,906 --> 00:40:21,574 I have no alibi. 462 00:40:21,657 --> 00:40:24,785 Lester! I was with you yesterday! Lester! 463 00:40:28,915 --> 00:40:33,377 - I was with you yesterday, right, Lester? - Right. And now I'm with Ms Gladstone. 464 00:40:33,753 --> 00:40:36,130 I left the club at one. I couldn't have done it! 465 00:40:36,213 --> 00:40:40,009 That's right. You couldn't have done it. Close the door on your way out. 466 00:40:40,092 --> 00:40:44,346 I couldn't have gone to Hawaii and back in that time. So what am I worried about? 467 00:40:44,430 --> 00:40:48,851 That's what I'd like to know. Hawaii and back? No way, man. You're cool. 468 00:40:48,934 --> 00:40:54,023 Well... Now, if he left the club at one, he could catch the three o'clock flight. 469 00:40:54,106 --> 00:40:57,526 You could be in Hawaii by five, given the three-hour time change. 470 00:40:57,610 --> 00:41:00,529 - She's got a point. - You could spend four hours there... 471 00:41:00,613 --> 00:41:03,324 ..and still catch the last flight out by ten. 472 00:41:03,407 --> 00:41:06,911 - That's true. - You'd arrive at LAX by 6am. 473 00:41:06,994 --> 00:41:11,206 An hour on the freeway... You'd be home by seven. 474 00:41:11,290 --> 00:41:14,710 Whatever it is, you're fuckin' guilty, man. 475 00:41:14,793 --> 00:41:17,421 Meet Senior Flight Supervisor Gladstone. 476 00:41:17,504 --> 00:41:21,216 Hi. Pleased to meet you. Listen, I've got a flight schedule in here. 477 00:41:21,300 --> 00:41:23,886 - I was on a rock! - A rock? 478 00:41:23,969 --> 00:41:27,598 They're gonna think I did it! I'm all motive and no alibi! 479 00:41:27,681 --> 00:41:29,850 I have no alibi! Motives are no problem. 480 00:41:29,933 --> 00:41:32,561 I'm up to my ass in motives. I'm majoring in motives. 481 00:41:32,644 --> 00:41:37,107 Alibi, nowhere near my neighbourhood. - whooo-ooh! 482 00:41:37,191 --> 00:41:41,361 - I gotta go! Can I borrow your car? - Sure, man. The keys are on the table... 483 00:41:41,445 --> 00:41:44,197 ..next to the door. Goodbye. 484 00:41:44,948 --> 00:41:47,159 I gotta find Beth. 485 00:41:48,493 --> 00:41:51,496 What am I doing? What the hell am I doing?! 486 00:41:51,580 --> 00:41:54,458 She's not dead. I'm crazy. I'm a crazy man. 487 00:41:54,541 --> 00:41:57,294 She is not dead. He didn't kill her. 488 00:41:58,545 --> 00:42:02,716 Novelist Margaret Donner is missing and presumed dead. 489 00:42:03,842 --> 00:42:06,636 - According to the police... - Holy Christ! 490 00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:09,139 I'm not crazy! She's presumed! 491 00:42:09,222 --> 00:42:13,643 She was last seen boarding a boat to Maui. She disappeared along route. 492 00:42:13,727 --> 00:42:17,314 - A search is on for the body. - Margaret is dead! Poor Margaret! 493 00:42:17,397 --> 00:42:20,817 She is the renowned author of the best-selling novel "Hot Fire". 494 00:42:20,901 --> 00:42:24,237 That slut! She is a slut! Slut! 495 00:42:24,321 --> 00:42:26,614 Foul play has not been ruled out. 496 00:42:27,490 --> 00:42:28,825 I'm gonna fry! 497 00:42:34,414 --> 00:42:36,499 I'm in really deep shit, Beth. 498 00:42:36,583 --> 00:42:39,711 Ah. Look who's decided to breeze back into my life. 499 00:42:40,170 --> 00:42:42,755 - I gotta talk to you. - You have to talk to me? 500 00:42:42,839 --> 00:42:47,177 You don't return my calls or get in touch. But hey, you need something from me? 501 00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:50,805 Make yourself at home. Have a seat. 502 00:42:50,889 --> 00:42:53,308 Can I offer you something? A cool drink? 503 00:42:53,391 --> 00:42:56,019 Would you listen to me? I'm in a lot of trouble! 504 00:42:56,102 --> 00:42:58,438 - I'm on the edge of my seat. - It's Margaret. 505 00:42:58,521 --> 00:43:00,523 Don't tell me! She's come back. 506 00:43:00,607 --> 00:43:03,109 - She's... - Pregnant, put on weight... 507 00:43:03,192 --> 00:43:05,486 She's dead! 508 00:43:05,570 --> 00:43:07,155 Oh, God. 509 00:43:07,238 --> 00:43:09,949 - It's awful. - Larry, I'm sorry. 510 00:43:11,617 --> 00:43:14,579 - Did she suffer? - He said she didn't feel a thing. 511 00:43:14,662 --> 00:43:16,164 - Her doctor? - Her killer. 512 00:43:16,247 --> 00:43:19,876 - She was killed?! - She's dead. It works that way. 513 00:43:19,959 --> 00:43:22,837 Wait! Did the police find a clue or have a motive or... 514 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:27,508 If there was a motive, the fat little bastard never would've killed her! Don't you see? 515 00:43:27,592 --> 00:43:30,011 Eliminate the motive, establish an alibi. 516 00:43:30,386 --> 00:43:33,890 - Just like I told him! - Just like you told him?! 517 00:43:33,973 --> 00:43:37,727 - We were speaking hypothetically. - Larry Donner! Did... 518 00:43:38,311 --> 00:43:41,814 - Did you pay a man to kill your wife? - No! He just did it. 519 00:43:41,897 --> 00:43:45,484 - Oh, my God! - Hey, look. I told a guy something... 520 00:43:45,568 --> 00:43:47,570 ..and he took it the wrong way. 521 00:43:47,653 --> 00:43:50,156 What, uh... What did you say to him? 522 00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:53,576 - "Don't kill my wife", wink, wink? - I don't like your tone. 523 00:43:53,659 --> 00:43:56,579 - Oh, God. You better leave. - I got noplace else to go. 524 00:43:56,662 --> 00:44:00,583 - My head is spinning. - Oh, and my head isn't creamed corn? 525 00:44:00,666 --> 00:44:05,296 You announced that you may or may not have inadvertently murdered someone. 526 00:44:05,379 --> 00:44:06,422 Mm-hm. 527 00:44:06,505 --> 00:44:10,718 This puts me in a highly distracted state of mind. I am nauseous. 528 00:44:10,801 --> 00:44:16,015 Great! Margaret is dead, I have no alibi, and you're mad that I upset your stomach. 529 00:44:16,098 --> 00:44:20,394 Well, excuse me. I'll just go so the police can start their manhunt! 530 00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:24,231 One little murder and I'm Jack the Ripper! 531 00:44:27,109 --> 00:44:30,028 Jeez, you think you know somebody. 532 00:44:41,957 --> 00:44:43,458 Cahuenga Pass. 533 00:44:43,542 --> 00:44:45,919 Leave a snappy message. Bye. 534 00:44:46,003 --> 00:44:48,297 Larry, it's Beth. Um... 535 00:44:49,339 --> 00:44:54,011 Call me at home right now, OK? As soon as you get in. I'm very confused. 536 00:44:54,094 --> 00:44:59,099 You... came in with just... murder and Margaret, and I just... 537 00:44:59,850 --> 00:45:02,811 Call me... now. Thank you. 538 00:45:09,192 --> 00:45:11,653 - Larry! - Get in the car, Owen. 539 00:45:11,736 --> 00:45:14,489 - This isn't your car. - I borrowed it. Get in! 540 00:45:14,573 --> 00:45:18,118 I thought you might like to have this. It belonged to Margaret. 541 00:45:18,201 --> 00:45:20,495 Get in the car. Get in the car! 542 00:45:24,082 --> 00:45:26,585 Look what you did. You killed my wife! 543 00:45:26,668 --> 00:45:28,753 No, I didn't. Yes, I did. 544 00:45:29,462 --> 00:45:32,841 You're sick, Owen. You need care. I am taking you to the police. 545 00:45:32,924 --> 00:45:35,427 Did you know Hawaii was a series of islands... 546 00:45:35,510 --> 00:45:39,139 ..that was all spit up by the same volcano? I never knew that. 547 00:45:39,222 --> 00:45:42,892 You killed somebody! You're a murderer! You took a life! 548 00:45:42,976 --> 00:45:47,355 You're right. I'm no good. How could I do that? I'm a sick, sick per... 549 00:45:47,439 --> 00:45:49,816 Cows! 550 00:45:49,899 --> 00:45:53,403 - Why did you kill my wife?! - I thought you wanted me to. 551 00:45:53,486 --> 00:45:57,949 You said you wished she was dead. I told you I wished my momma was dead. 552 00:45:58,032 --> 00:46:00,702 I kill your wife, you kill my momma. That's fair. 553 00:46:00,785 --> 00:46:03,079 I am not killing your mother. 554 00:46:03,162 --> 00:46:07,083 - You have to turn yourself in. - No. It was part of our plan. 555 00:46:07,166 --> 00:46:11,004 What plan?! There was no plan, you moron! 556 00:46:11,587 --> 00:46:14,590 You killed a person and I'm takin' you to the police! 557 00:46:14,674 --> 00:46:18,845 I'll just tell 'em that you did it. You got the motive. 558 00:46:19,554 --> 00:46:21,848 - You're gonna tell them the truth. - Huh? 559 00:46:21,931 --> 00:46:25,977 You're gonna tell the police the truth or I'll kill us both, I swear! 560 00:46:26,686 --> 00:46:29,564 - I didn't do this only for me. - Say goodbye, Owen. 561 00:46:29,647 --> 00:46:32,775 Larry... Larry, slow down. You're goin' a tad fast. 562 00:46:33,693 --> 00:46:36,612 Please slow down, Larry! I don't like goin' fast! 563 00:46:36,696 --> 00:46:39,699 - Are you gonna tell 'em you did it? - Please slow down! 564 00:46:39,907 --> 00:46:41,576 Huh? 565 00:46:42,285 --> 00:46:44,704 - Yeah. I'll do it. - OK. 566 00:46:45,663 --> 00:46:47,540 - Please stop the car! - I can't! 567 00:46:47,623 --> 00:46:49,792 - Stop the car! - There's no brakes! 568 00:46:49,875 --> 00:46:53,379 What?! Watch out for that car! 569 00:46:53,462 --> 00:46:56,257 - Oh. You're a good driver, Larry. - Just shut up! 570 00:47:11,814 --> 00:47:13,274 Larry! Larry! 571 00:47:17,903 --> 00:47:20,948 Larry, you're originally from the East, aren't you? 572 00:47:21,448 --> 00:47:24,702 - Owen! - A man on our block was from the East. 573 00:47:24,785 --> 00:47:27,121 Mr Brockman. He was in the button business. 574 00:47:27,204 --> 00:47:29,456 - Is that right? - Yeah. This is good! 575 00:47:29,540 --> 00:47:31,625 It's like the Flintstones car wash. 576 00:47:45,389 --> 00:47:48,183 Larry! Ooh, I can't look! 577 00:47:55,649 --> 00:47:56,900 Whoa! 578 00:48:20,924 --> 00:48:24,594 So are you telling me you weren't driving that car? 579 00:48:24,678 --> 00:48:27,347 Look, man. It's like I told you. 580 00:48:27,764 --> 00:48:31,935 He borrowed the car yesterday morning and I haven't seen him since. 581 00:48:32,811 --> 00:48:37,440 - Did he say where he was going? - No. Mumbled about motives and alibis. 582 00:48:37,524 --> 00:48:39,484 Motives and alibis? 583 00:48:39,567 --> 00:48:44,239 He figured that since Margaret ruined his life, you'd think he killed her or somethin'. 584 00:48:44,322 --> 00:48:46,866 - You don't think he did? - No, I don't think so. 585 00:48:46,950 --> 00:48:50,662 Personally, if the bitch stole my book, I'd kill her. But that's me. 586 00:48:50,745 --> 00:48:53,623 Larry? There's no way he coulda done it. 587 00:48:53,706 --> 00:48:56,126 What makes you say that? 588 00:48:56,209 --> 00:48:59,295 Because Larry never did... 589 00:48:59,379 --> 00:49:01,256 ..anything. 590 00:49:02,674 --> 00:49:06,511 OK. Here we go. Eggs a la Owen. 591 00:49:06,594 --> 00:49:09,472 Owen, get it through your thick head. 592 00:49:09,555 --> 00:49:12,350 I may be a lot of things, but I am not a killer. 593 00:49:13,059 --> 00:49:15,478 You don't have to blow her brains out. 594 00:49:15,561 --> 00:49:18,773 Thank you! That takes the pressure right off 595 00:49:18,856 --> 00:49:21,818 She's old. She's got a bad ticker. 596 00:49:21,901 --> 00:49:24,946 All you gotta do is jerk around a lot when you talk to her. 597 00:49:25,029 --> 00:49:27,949 - "Nice to meet you, Mrs Lift!" - Would you stop it? 598 00:49:29,909 --> 00:49:34,038 Well, just meet her. Maybe she'd be somebody you'd like to kill. 599 00:49:34,205 --> 00:49:37,166 Owen! What the hell's going on out there?! 600 00:49:37,250 --> 00:49:38,751 Nothing, Momma! 601 00:49:38,835 --> 00:49:43,172 - We woke her up. - Who are you talking to? Who's in there? 602 00:49:43,256 --> 00:49:44,924 Nobody, Momma! 603 00:49:48,219 --> 00:49:50,304 Who's this? 604 00:49:51,681 --> 00:49:53,307 This is Cousin Paddy. 605 00:49:53,391 --> 00:49:57,561 He's gonna be stayin' with us for a while. Isn't that nice? 606 00:49:58,437 --> 00:50:00,523 You don't have a Cousin Paddy! 607 00:50:02,942 --> 00:50:05,027 You lied to me! 608 00:50:11,283 --> 00:50:14,203 - That's it. That's all. - Larry... Larry. 609 00:50:15,663 --> 00:50:18,082 I'm sorry. She makes me so nervous. 610 00:50:18,165 --> 00:50:21,794 Come on. Go in there and sit down. I'll get you some ice. 611 00:50:24,088 --> 00:50:26,757 So what do you think of her? 612 00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,385 I think she could relax a little bit. 613 00:50:30,469 --> 00:50:32,596 - Are you gonna do it? - Owen... 614 00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,933 I'm not gonna kill your mother. If you wanna do it, you do it. 615 00:50:36,016 --> 00:50:39,728 A guy kills my wife. He can't even kill his own mother. 616 00:50:39,812 --> 00:50:42,356 - You wanna see my coin collection? - No! 617 00:50:44,149 --> 00:50:46,235 I collect coins. 618 00:50:47,361 --> 00:50:50,864 - I got a dandy collection. - I don't wanna see it, Owen. 619 00:50:52,241 --> 00:50:54,993 - But it's my collection. - I don't care. 620 00:50:55,077 --> 00:50:57,829 Look, Owen. I'm just not in the mood. OK? 621 00:51:06,004 --> 00:51:08,173 Never showed it to anyone before. 622 00:51:11,093 --> 00:51:13,512 - All right, I'll look at it. - No, it's OK. 623 00:51:13,595 --> 00:51:15,680 - Show it to me. - No, you don't mean it. 624 00:51:15,764 --> 00:51:18,100 - Show me the damn coins! - All right. 625 00:51:19,434 --> 00:51:21,520 This one is a nickel. 626 00:51:22,145 --> 00:51:24,523 This one also is a nickel. 627 00:51:25,816 --> 00:51:27,901 And here's a quarter. 628 00:51:28,902 --> 00:51:30,987 And another quarter. 629 00:51:33,114 --> 00:51:35,200 And a penny. 630 00:51:35,283 --> 00:51:38,286 See? Nickel, nickel, quarter, quarter, penny. 631 00:51:38,370 --> 00:51:41,289 Are any of these coins worth anything? 632 00:51:41,873 --> 00:51:43,458 No. 633 00:51:43,541 --> 00:51:47,337 And here... is another nickel. 634 00:51:48,505 --> 00:51:51,674 - Why do you have them? - What do you mean? 635 00:51:52,050 --> 00:51:56,638 The purpose of a coin collection is that the coins are worth something, Owen. 636 00:51:56,721 --> 00:51:58,723 Oh, but they are. 637 00:51:58,807 --> 00:52:01,684 This one here I got in change... 638 00:52:01,768 --> 00:52:04,896 ..when my dad took me to see Peter, Paul and Mary. 639 00:52:05,730 --> 00:52:10,360 And this one I got in change when I bought a hot dog at the circus. 640 00:52:10,443 --> 00:52:14,405 My daddy let me keep the change. He always let me keep the change. 641 00:52:14,572 --> 00:52:16,324 This one... 642 00:52:16,407 --> 00:52:18,242 ..is my favourite. 643 00:52:18,326 --> 00:52:22,622 This is Martin and Lewis at the Hollywood Palladium. 644 00:52:23,122 --> 00:52:24,791 Look at that. 645 00:52:24,874 --> 00:52:28,294 See the way it shines on the little eagle? 646 00:52:30,630 --> 00:52:32,715 I loved my dad a lot. 647 00:52:35,301 --> 00:52:39,472 - So this whole collection is... - Change my daddy let me keep. 648 00:52:40,306 --> 00:52:42,391 - What was his name? - Ned. 649 00:52:42,475 --> 00:52:44,560 He used to call me his little Ned. 650 00:52:45,353 --> 00:52:47,897 That's why Momma named me Owen. 651 00:52:47,980 --> 00:52:50,066 I really miss him. 652 00:52:50,149 --> 00:52:53,486 - It's a real nice collection, Owen. - Thank you, Larry. 653 00:52:53,569 --> 00:52:56,989 - Owen! Food! - In a minute, Momma! 654 00:52:57,073 --> 00:53:01,452 Don't you "in a minute" me! Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! 655 00:53:01,535 --> 00:53:06,707 I want two soft-boiled eggs, white toast and some of that grape jelly, goddammit! 656 00:53:06,791 --> 00:53:08,793 And don't burn the toast! 657 00:53:08,876 --> 00:53:10,419 - Kill her, Larry. - I can't. 658 00:53:10,503 --> 00:53:15,007 You gotta kill her for me, Larry. Don't you understand? Crisscross. 659 00:53:15,090 --> 00:53:19,595 Crisscross! You gotta do it, Larry! If you don't, I will. I swear I will. 660 00:53:19,678 --> 00:53:22,097 Move it, fat boy! 661 00:53:22,181 --> 00:53:25,309 - That's it! I'm gonna choke her to death! - No, Owen! 662 00:53:25,392 --> 00:53:27,561 I swear to God, I'm gonna kill her! 663 00:53:29,146 --> 00:53:31,065 - Calm down, Owen. - Larry... 664 00:53:31,148 --> 00:53:34,443 It's gonna be OK. It's gonna be OK, Owen. 665 00:53:34,526 --> 00:53:36,612 I promise. 666 00:53:41,116 --> 00:53:43,077 Will you do it? 667 00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:45,120 Yeah. I'll do it. 668 00:53:45,245 --> 00:53:47,748 Larry, you're the best pal a guy ever had. 669 00:53:47,831 --> 00:53:50,167 Here. Look. I want you to have this. 670 00:53:50,250 --> 00:53:54,296 Look. Here. It's a souvenir from the London Bridge gift shop in Arizona. 671 00:53:54,379 --> 00:53:59,843 Look. See? They brought this bridge over from London, England, stone by stone. 672 00:53:59,927 --> 00:54:02,638 See the little bridge? See the stones there? 673 00:54:02,721 --> 00:54:05,641 - Yeah, I see 'em. - Here. You can have that. 674 00:54:10,312 --> 00:54:11,480 Crisscross. 675 00:54:13,065 --> 00:54:16,401 - When did you last see him? - I can't remember. I told you. 676 00:54:17,486 --> 00:54:20,572 - The day after his wife disappeared? - I didn't say that. 677 00:54:20,655 --> 00:54:25,327 - Miss Ryan, why are you protecting him? - I'm not. I just don't think he killed her. 678 00:54:25,410 --> 00:54:27,996 Where do you think he is, Miss Ryan? 679 00:54:28,079 --> 00:54:29,998 I don't know! 680 00:54:31,082 --> 00:54:33,710 - He's in a lot of trouble. - He didn't do it. 681 00:54:33,793 --> 00:54:36,630 Then who do you suppose did? 682 00:54:38,924 --> 00:54:41,927 - Somebody else. - So you do think it was murder. 683 00:54:43,261 --> 00:54:46,473 - You know who killed her, don't you? - No. 684 00:54:46,556 --> 00:54:49,684 - Yes, you do. - I do not! He wouldn't tell me! 685 00:54:53,772 --> 00:54:57,484 Did Professor Donner hire a man to kill his wife? 686 00:54:57,567 --> 00:55:00,695 No! He said... not really. 687 00:55:04,741 --> 00:55:09,454 And I heard him scream out "l hate her! I wish she were dead!" 688 00:55:09,787 --> 00:55:13,374 Yeah, I heard him. He said "l hate her. I wish she was dead." 689 00:55:13,458 --> 00:55:15,335 That's what he said. 690 00:55:15,627 --> 00:55:18,755 "l hate her. I wish she was dead." 691 00:55:19,714 --> 00:55:21,799 He called her a very bad name... 692 00:55:21,883 --> 00:55:25,136 ..and screamed "l hate her. I wish she were dead." 693 00:55:26,554 --> 00:55:28,640 It's a coffee-table book. 694 00:55:36,064 --> 00:55:37,982 All right, Momma. 695 00:55:38,066 --> 00:55:40,485 Turn off the TV. 696 00:55:40,568 --> 00:55:42,320 OK. 697 00:55:44,197 --> 00:55:46,282 Goodbye, Momma. 698 00:55:51,370 --> 00:55:56,125 - She'll be sleepin' in a couple of minutes. - I graduated from Yale. 699 00:55:57,084 --> 00:56:00,296 All right. Out you go. 700 00:56:00,713 --> 00:56:03,716 - Out? Out where? - Out on the ledge. Go out on the roof... 701 00:56:03,799 --> 00:56:08,429 - No, no. I'm not going out on any ledge. - You gotta make it look like a burglar. 702 00:56:08,512 --> 00:56:12,224 - You go in, you mess up things... - No, Owen. This is going too far. 703 00:56:12,308 --> 00:56:13,851 - You want outta this? - Yes. 704 00:56:13,934 --> 00:56:18,606 Then fulfil your end of the bargain. You go in, stuff a pillow over her face and leave. 705 00:56:18,689 --> 00:56:22,193 You walk out that door. You never have to see me again, OK? 706 00:56:22,276 --> 00:56:24,195 Oh, God! 707 00:56:26,655 --> 00:56:31,243 - OK. Out you go. - Shit. I hate heights. 708 00:56:32,578 --> 00:56:33,579 Larry! 709 00:56:38,292 --> 00:56:40,377 - You all right? Move your hand. - Why? 710 00:56:40,461 --> 00:56:42,171 Gotta close the window. 711 00:56:47,885 --> 00:56:50,471 And like this you kill an evening. 712 00:56:53,265 --> 00:56:55,768 Rats! Now I got Willard here. 713 00:56:57,603 --> 00:57:03,150 I'm bein' held captive by a little troll who should be hanging off a rear-view mirror. 714 00:57:03,233 --> 00:57:05,319 I'm not doin' this. 715 00:57:08,113 --> 00:57:09,865 - Aargh! - What are you doin'? 716 00:57:09,948 --> 00:57:12,993 I'm selling The Watchtower! What do you think?! 717 00:57:13,076 --> 00:57:16,163 You got rats the size of Oldsmobiles here! 718 00:57:18,540 --> 00:57:20,709 Rats. 719 00:57:20,792 --> 00:57:24,463 OK, forget about the burglar stuff. Just go through her door. 720 00:57:24,546 --> 00:57:29,509 It's less dramatic but I don't wanna make you uncomfortable. Here, use this. 721 00:57:29,593 --> 00:57:32,637 - I really don't like you, Owen. - OK, I gotta go. 722 00:57:32,721 --> 00:57:36,099 If I'm late for my lane, they tack on an extra buck. 723 00:57:44,441 --> 00:57:46,526 Ugh. What a week. 724 00:58:15,096 --> 00:58:20,476 Mrs Lift, I know you don't want to hear anything derogatory about your son. 725 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:26,274 I understand that. Because he's not a bad man, Mrs Lift. He's a nice man, actually. 726 00:58:26,357 --> 00:58:29,360 He is a lunatic. No, Mrs Lift, he is. 727 00:58:29,444 --> 00:58:31,738 He's a lunatic. And, um... 728 00:58:32,071 --> 00:58:36,242 I don't have to be here now, Mrs Lift. I could be in Mexico, out of all of this. 729 00:58:36,326 --> 00:58:38,828 I'm only here to stop him fr... 730 00:58:40,788 --> 00:58:43,291 How do you say this, Mrs Lift? 731 00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,127 Listen to me, Mrs Lift. 732 00:58:46,502 --> 00:58:49,839 Your son... killed my wife. 733 00:58:50,590 --> 00:58:54,343 And now he wants me to kill you. 734 00:58:58,264 --> 00:59:00,766 Mrs Lift? 735 00:59:03,936 --> 00:59:07,607 I'm gonna go read the paper now and... 736 00:59:07,690 --> 00:59:10,234 I'm just glad we had this chance to talk. 737 00:59:15,489 --> 00:59:19,702 I'm a fugitive. The little bastard turned me into Richard Kimble. 738 00:59:19,785 --> 00:59:23,247 He shit and shoved me in it. I gotta get outta here! I gotta go! 739 00:59:24,623 --> 00:59:28,294 Where am I running? Evidence. Incriminating evidence! 740 00:59:32,965 --> 00:59:34,842 Nothing. 741 00:59:38,929 --> 00:59:41,015 Ha! A lei. 742 00:59:41,557 --> 00:59:43,642 Poha jelly. 743 00:59:44,393 --> 00:59:46,478 Not enough! 744 00:59:47,062 --> 00:59:50,315 Poha jelly, a lei and a doll. I need some evidence. 745 00:59:50,399 --> 00:59:52,484 Aha! Bingo. The mother lode. 746 00:59:52,568 --> 00:59:55,404 A plane ticket! A little careless, Owen, aren't we? 747 00:59:55,487 --> 00:59:57,781 Los Angeles, Hawaii, 10am! 748 00:59:57,865 --> 01:00:00,951 I got you! A plane ticket! 749 01:00:01,034 --> 01:00:03,120 With my name on it. 750 01:00:03,203 --> 01:00:05,080 Oh, God! 751 01:00:11,712 --> 01:00:13,589 Cops! 752 01:00:30,272 --> 01:00:32,357 Mr Lift? 753 01:00:45,954 --> 01:00:48,123 We'd like to ask you a few questions. 754 01:00:48,206 --> 01:00:50,292 I hope there's no trouble. 755 01:00:50,375 --> 01:00:54,421 I was at the bowlin' alley all night. I hope there's nothin' wrong. 756 01:00:54,671 --> 01:00:57,591 No, we'd like to ask you about Professor Donner. 757 01:00:57,674 --> 01:01:01,011 - Professor Donner? - Yes. Would you mind if we came in? 758 01:01:02,429 --> 01:01:05,015 - In the house? - Just a few questions. 759 01:01:05,557 --> 01:01:08,184 I... I'm sorry. You can't. 760 01:01:10,645 --> 01:01:13,815 My momma's real sick. I don't think it's a good idea. 761 01:01:14,232 --> 01:01:16,526 - lt'll only take a minute. - No, l... 762 01:01:22,031 --> 01:01:24,325 OK! All right. Come on up. 763 01:01:24,409 --> 01:01:27,537 If it'll only take a minute, that won't be so bad. 764 01:01:28,079 --> 01:01:30,164 Would you like to meet my momma? 765 01:01:33,501 --> 01:01:38,006 We understand you take Professor Donner's course at Valley College. 766 01:01:38,089 --> 01:01:40,425 Yeah. Creative writing. 767 01:01:40,508 --> 01:01:43,219 I'm gonna put my bowlin' ball away. 768 01:01:43,302 --> 01:01:47,473 - I'm his star pupil. - Do you have any idea where he is? 769 01:01:47,557 --> 01:01:52,019 Did you try his apartment? He goes there a lot. He keeps his stuff there. 770 01:01:54,021 --> 01:01:56,107 You guys wanna have some tea? 771 01:01:56,190 --> 01:01:58,276 We've got orange pekoe,... 772 01:01:58,359 --> 01:02:00,820 ..we've got lrish breakfast,... 773 01:02:00,903 --> 01:02:02,905 ..we've got Darjeeling... 774 01:02:02,989 --> 01:02:06,617 Mr Lift, have you ever heard Professor Donner talk about his wife? 775 01:02:06,701 --> 01:02:11,455 Professor Donner? Oh, he... he always talked about her like she was an angel. 776 01:02:11,539 --> 01:02:14,917 He loved his wife. He worshipped the ground she... Hi. 777 01:02:17,003 --> 01:02:19,797 Hi, tea! Hi, tea. Hi. 778 01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:23,342 You never heard him say anything bad about her? 779 01:02:24,385 --> 01:02:28,556 Oh. This is lrish breakfast. I'll get Darjeeling. 780 01:02:28,639 --> 01:02:32,017 Whatever you want, Mr Lift. We won't be havin' any. 781 01:02:33,394 --> 01:02:36,188 - What was that question again? - Owen! 782 01:02:39,066 --> 01:02:41,443 Momma! You're alive! 783 01:02:43,654 --> 01:02:46,031 Old people - you have to reassure them. 784 01:02:48,117 --> 01:02:50,911 Mr Lift, can we get back to Professor Donner? 785 01:02:51,328 --> 01:02:55,499 Yes. By all means, let's get back to him. 786 01:02:56,875 --> 01:02:59,920 - Mr Lift... - Oh! You know what? 787 01:03:00,003 --> 01:03:02,464 This... This box is empty. 788 01:03:02,548 --> 01:03:05,717 Could you get me some tea in the pantry? 789 01:03:06,385 --> 01:03:09,096 Sure. No problem. 790 01:03:10,764 --> 01:03:15,185 You said that he loved his wife. What gave you that idea? 791 01:03:16,186 --> 01:03:18,272 Oh! I'm sorry, officer. 792 01:03:18,355 --> 01:03:22,276 I have some tea right here on the stove. It won't be necessary. 793 01:03:22,359 --> 01:03:25,821 - Oh. No problem. - What was that question again? 794 01:03:25,904 --> 01:03:28,657 What makes you think that he loved his wife? 795 01:03:30,617 --> 01:03:33,537 But you know what you could get me is some sugar. 796 01:03:33,620 --> 01:03:36,373 Is it in the pantry? 797 01:03:36,790 --> 01:03:39,084 - Yeah. - No problem. 798 01:03:39,167 --> 01:03:44,131 I shouldn't use sugar in my tea because I'm carryin' around this spare tyre. 799 01:03:44,214 --> 01:03:48,009 I'd like to get rid of it but it's so hard to cut back. 800 01:03:48,844 --> 01:03:52,806 - Owen! You did it, didn't you, Owen? - No, Momma, I didn't. 801 01:03:52,889 --> 01:03:56,351 - Yes, you did! - No! Honest to God, I didn't do it! 802 01:03:56,434 --> 01:03:59,396 You told them to take me away! 803 01:03:59,479 --> 01:04:02,482 Oh. No, Momma. No. 804 01:04:02,565 --> 01:04:07,862 - You came to take me away! - I'm sorry. My momma's not feelin' well. 805 01:04:07,946 --> 01:04:10,281 Not feeling well, my foot! 806 01:04:10,365 --> 01:04:12,283 - I'm sorry. - You little bastard! 807 01:04:12,367 --> 01:04:15,036 I said you'd desert me, and you did! 808 01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:18,415 The only way they'll get me outta here is to drag me out! 809 01:04:18,498 --> 01:04:21,626 You're gonna have to take me out in a pine box! 810 01:04:23,002 --> 01:04:26,047 Get out! Get outta my house! 811 01:04:27,632 --> 01:04:29,509 Owen! 812 01:04:30,301 --> 01:04:32,387 You're grounded! 813 01:04:34,097 --> 01:04:36,808 I can't believe that you brought them here! 814 01:04:36,891 --> 01:04:39,727 - Why didn't you kill Momma? - Because I'm not a killer! 815 01:04:39,811 --> 01:04:43,773 I can't put a pillow over her face and squeeze the life out of her! 816 01:04:47,694 --> 01:04:50,655 - You see that door with the hook on it? - Yeah. 817 01:04:50,738 --> 01:04:56,411 Every night around nine o'clock, she yells "Bath" and hangs her shawl on that hook. 818 01:04:56,494 --> 01:04:58,955 - I'll bet that's where I come in. - Yeah. 819 01:04:59,038 --> 01:05:01,290 - Now, how did I know that? - Come on, come on. 820 01:05:01,374 --> 01:05:03,126 - Watch out for my skates. - Ow! 821 01:05:12,843 --> 01:05:15,888 She'll get out of her chair, she'll go to the door,... 822 01:05:15,972 --> 01:05:19,642 ..you go behind her and pow! Down the stairs she goes. 823 01:05:19,892 --> 01:05:23,521 - And where are you gonna be? - Howie's Lanes. Come on. 824 01:05:37,118 --> 01:05:39,912 To hell with this guy! What am l? Crazy? 825 01:05:40,704 --> 01:05:43,082 I'm outta here. I can't stay here. 826 01:05:43,833 --> 01:05:46,460 I can't stay in this house! 827 01:05:55,094 --> 01:05:57,179 Stand back, please. 828 01:06:09,566 --> 01:06:12,069 Milk and Mallomars... 829 01:06:36,635 --> 01:06:38,720 Bath!! 830 01:06:39,930 --> 01:06:42,808 - Who the hell are you?! - I'm Owen's friend. 831 01:06:42,891 --> 01:06:47,145 - Owen doesn't have a friend! - That's because he's shy. 832 01:06:47,229 --> 01:06:49,356 No, he's not. He's fat and he's stupid. 833 01:06:49,439 --> 01:06:51,942 Get outta my house! Where is Owen? 834 01:06:52,025 --> 01:06:54,361 - Owen went bowling. - I want Owen! 835 01:06:54,444 --> 01:06:57,239 - He'll be back soon. - I want my bath and my medicine! 836 01:06:57,322 --> 01:06:59,824 - I can get it for you. - Who the hell are you? 837 01:06:59,908 --> 01:07:02,035 - Let me hang that up. - I can do it myself! 838 01:07:02,118 --> 01:07:06,623 - I know, but I'd like to hang it up for you. - Get out of my way, you black bastard! 839 01:07:06,706 --> 01:07:08,416 What?! 840 01:07:08,583 --> 01:07:10,377 Mrs Lift! 841 01:07:10,460 --> 01:07:12,921 - He tried to kill me. - What? 842 01:07:13,004 --> 01:07:15,465 I said, he's tryin' to kill me! 843 01:07:15,548 --> 01:07:17,133 Mrs Lift! Don't... 844 01:07:17,550 --> 01:07:20,053 I can hang up my own goddamn shawl. 845 01:07:23,348 --> 01:07:26,601 He's trying to kill me! 846 01:07:26,684 --> 01:07:30,980 I asked for the salted nuts! He brought me the unsalted nuts! 847 01:07:31,064 --> 01:07:33,691 The unsalted nuts make me choke! 848 01:07:38,863 --> 01:07:40,823 Aargh! 849 01:07:52,001 --> 01:07:54,087 Pain in the ass! 850 01:08:00,134 --> 01:08:02,011 Oh, no! 851 01:08:16,025 --> 01:08:18,444 Your friend had an accident. He's dead! 852 01:08:18,527 --> 01:08:21,656 You go bowling and leave a corpse to take care of me! 853 01:08:21,739 --> 01:08:24,450 - He's dead? - See for yourself! 854 01:08:26,285 --> 01:08:28,371 Larry! My friend! 855 01:08:28,454 --> 01:08:32,208 - My friend! Larry! - "My friend! My friend!" 856 01:08:32,291 --> 01:08:34,377 You little crybaby! 857 01:08:34,460 --> 01:08:38,005 Go bury him in the yard before he stinks up the place! 858 01:09:46,198 --> 01:09:48,158 Larry, you're alive! 859 01:09:51,244 --> 01:09:53,205 You killed her. 860 01:10:04,883 --> 01:10:08,553 Holy shit! What a dream I was having! 861 01:10:08,637 --> 01:10:10,972 Louis Armstrong was trying to kill me! 862 01:10:11,306 --> 01:10:14,768 - Mrs Lift? - Get away from me, you horse's ass! 863 01:10:25,695 --> 01:10:29,240 She's not a woman. She's the Terminator. 864 01:10:58,519 --> 01:11:01,689 The ex-husband of missing novelist Margaret Donner... 865 01:11:01,773 --> 01:11:04,984 ..is wanted for questioning but has now himself disappeared. 866 01:11:05,068 --> 01:11:09,947 If you have any information regarding his whereabouts, contact your local police. 867 01:11:10,031 --> 01:11:13,451 Owen! There's a murderer in the house! 868 01:11:13,743 --> 01:11:16,370 Hello, police? I found him! The wife murderer! 869 01:11:16,454 --> 01:11:18,748 - He's here! - Gimme the phone! 870 01:11:19,165 --> 01:11:21,250 I'm on the next train to Mexico. 871 01:11:21,334 --> 01:11:25,087 - No! This is no time to panic. - This is the perfect time to panic! 872 01:11:25,171 --> 01:11:29,467 She turned me in! Do what you want with her. I gotta think about myself. 873 01:11:29,550 --> 01:11:31,636 Larry, don't leave me! 874 01:11:32,720 --> 01:11:34,430 Larry! 875 01:11:51,864 --> 01:11:54,158 I'm sorry, Larry. 876 01:11:54,700 --> 01:11:56,577 It's OK, Owen. 877 01:11:56,869 --> 01:12:00,831 - I messed everything up. - Owen, it's gonna be OK. 878 01:12:01,123 --> 01:12:03,000 I ruined your life. 879 01:12:03,083 --> 01:12:06,837 Come on, Owen. Sometimes things happen in life for a reason. 880 01:12:08,297 --> 01:12:12,551 No, really. Maybe I was meant to go to Mexico to be a writer. You never know. 881 01:12:12,926 --> 01:12:15,137 This is a great ending. 882 01:12:15,220 --> 01:12:18,891 I don't have the beginning, but this is a great ending. 883 01:12:18,974 --> 01:12:22,728 Story of my life. I always have great endings and no beginnings. 884 01:12:22,811 --> 01:12:25,439 That's not good for a writer, is it? 885 01:12:25,522 --> 01:12:27,608 No, it's not. 886 01:12:30,027 --> 01:12:33,113 How about "The night was humid"? 887 01:12:36,241 --> 01:12:39,119 - It's hot in here. - Yeah, hot and close. 888 01:12:39,661 --> 01:12:42,956 - Moist. - Right. "The night was moist." 889 01:12:43,040 --> 01:12:46,835 This is what I'm talking about. It's writing. Finding the perfect word. 890 01:12:46,918 --> 01:12:50,756 The perfect start. "lt was the best of times, it was the worst of times". 891 01:12:50,839 --> 01:12:52,924 "Now is the winter of our discontent". 892 01:12:53,008 --> 01:12:56,636 See what I'm saying? Perfect beginnings. Perfect words. 893 01:12:56,720 --> 01:13:00,140 It's like us. We're on a train to Mexico. We're on the lam. 894 01:13:00,223 --> 01:13:02,726 It's exciting, it's kinda mysterious. 895 01:13:02,809 --> 01:13:07,105 Do you say "The night was humid" or "The night was moist"? That's writing! 896 01:13:07,189 --> 01:13:09,357 The night was sultry. 897 01:13:14,821 --> 01:13:17,324 I'm getting the hell outta here! 898 01:13:18,950 --> 01:13:21,703 Too goddamn sultry in here! 899 01:13:26,249 --> 01:13:28,335 Where you goin'? 900 01:13:28,418 --> 01:13:30,920 I'm gonna kill the bitch. 901 01:13:31,504 --> 01:13:34,174 - You want anything? - You can get me a Chunky. 902 01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:46,728 - Come here, Mrs Lift. - You stay away from me, you murderer! 903 01:13:51,524 --> 01:13:53,026 Momma... 904 01:13:53,276 --> 01:13:54,736 Mrs Lift! 905 01:13:55,153 --> 01:13:57,280 - Momma! - Murderer! Murderer! 906 01:13:59,490 --> 01:14:01,909 Momma... Momma... 907 01:14:02,285 --> 01:14:06,664 Sultry? I'll show you something sultry, Mrs Lift! 908 01:14:06,748 --> 01:14:08,374 G, 54. 909 01:14:08,875 --> 01:14:13,463 Stupid bingo! Don't you idiots know there's a murderer loose on this train?! 910 01:14:14,130 --> 01:14:16,841 - Mrs Lift, come back here. - Bingo bastards. 911 01:14:16,924 --> 01:14:18,926 My mother's a little overmedicated. 912 01:14:19,010 --> 01:14:23,097 Murderer! Murderer! There's a murderer on the train. 913 01:14:23,472 --> 01:14:26,684 Wake up, you nutheads! Murderer! 914 01:14:27,018 --> 01:14:28,603 Excuse me. Excuse me. 915 01:14:28,686 --> 01:14:31,314 Wake up! There's a murderer on the train! 916 01:14:32,106 --> 01:14:33,649 Mrs Lift? 917 01:14:34,859 --> 01:14:36,944 Aarrghhh! 918 01:14:37,695 --> 01:14:41,240 - Mrs Lift, be careful! - Get away from me, you murderer! 919 01:14:43,159 --> 01:14:45,161 No! 920 01:14:49,039 --> 01:14:52,126 - Mrs Lift... - Let me go, you murderer! 921 01:14:52,543 --> 01:14:53,919 Owen! 922 01:14:54,003 --> 01:14:56,338 - Larry, you'll kill her! - Save me! 923 01:14:56,422 --> 01:15:00,217 I'm not tryin' to kill her! I'm tryin' to save her, you toad! 924 01:15:06,348 --> 01:15:08,058 Come on, Mrs Lift! 925 01:15:12,938 --> 01:15:15,899 Owen! Save me! 926 01:15:19,403 --> 01:15:22,406 Aarrghhh! 927 01:15:28,162 --> 01:15:31,498 Owen! Save me! 928 01:15:31,582 --> 01:15:33,625 Owen! 929 01:15:33,709 --> 01:15:38,088 - What are you doin' to my momma?! - Making a wish! What do you think?! 930 01:15:39,590 --> 01:15:41,633 Help! 931 01:15:41,717 --> 01:15:43,468 Oh, no! Larry! 932 01:16:00,402 --> 01:16:02,487 Oh, you saved me, my Owen! 933 01:16:02,571 --> 01:16:06,491 - Mrs Lift, are you OK? - Beat it, chump! 934 01:16:08,034 --> 01:16:09,828 - Larry! - Aarghhh! 935 01:16:13,623 --> 01:16:15,709 Bye, Larry! 936 01:16:21,506 --> 01:16:24,801 To tell you the truth, it was all a little bit embarrassing. 937 01:16:24,884 --> 01:16:28,680 My earring fell over the rail. I bent over to retrieve it. 938 01:16:28,763 --> 01:16:31,141 The last thing I remember, I was in the water. 939 01:16:31,558 --> 01:16:34,060 She fell off the boat. She fell off the boat. 940 01:16:34,144 --> 01:16:36,688 The little bastard never laid a hand on her. 941 01:16:36,771 --> 01:16:38,940 This wonderful Adonis of the deep... 942 01:16:39,023 --> 01:16:41,735 Oh, I love that. "Adonis of the deep". 943 01:16:41,818 --> 01:16:44,863 She's rescued by a fishing boat! The woman is priceless. 944 01:16:44,946 --> 01:16:48,199 - You gotta love this woman. - Do you love this woman? 945 01:16:49,826 --> 01:16:54,497 Shikamoto nursed me back to health, and we're going to be married. 946 01:16:54,581 --> 01:16:57,333 Who asked this guy to pull her outta the water? 947 01:16:59,711 --> 01:17:02,589 Margaret Donner, author of the best seller "Hot Fire",... 948 01:17:02,672 --> 01:17:06,718 ..has sold the movie rights of her ordeal at sea for $1.5 million. 949 01:17:06,801 --> 01:17:09,929 Will wonders never cease! Back to you, Stan. 950 01:17:11,681 --> 01:17:16,144 She's a genius. She's getting $1.5 million and I'm getting glucose four times a day. 951 01:17:16,227 --> 01:17:18,938 I'm getting something down the hall. 952 01:17:19,021 --> 01:17:22,733 - What? - Anything. I can't take this any more. 953 01:17:22,817 --> 01:17:26,654 Every ten minutes, it's "Margaret this" and "Margaret that". 954 01:17:26,946 --> 01:17:28,823 I'm sorry. I just can't help it. 955 01:17:28,906 --> 01:17:32,326 Hate's no good. I'm not living here with you in hate. 956 01:17:33,119 --> 01:17:37,290 Get rid of it altogether, Larry, or I'm leaving you. 957 01:18:15,661 --> 01:18:17,538 Oh! 958 01:18:19,873 --> 01:18:21,917 Oh, Larry! 959 01:18:34,012 --> 01:18:35,889 Argh! 960 01:19:06,378 --> 01:19:08,463 His name was Owen... 961 01:19:08,547 --> 01:19:11,675 ..and he wanted me to kill his mother. 962 01:19:12,259 --> 01:19:14,553 When I asked him why,... 963 01:19:14,636 --> 01:19:17,764 ..he said because he didn't like her. 964 01:19:18,682 --> 01:19:20,976 When I asked him why me,... 965 01:19:21,643 --> 01:19:24,771 ..he said it was my idea. 966 01:19:29,150 --> 01:19:31,945 I was teaching college... 967 01:20:08,356 --> 01:20:10,984 - Hello. - Aloha. 968 01:20:11,067 --> 01:20:13,569 - Owen! How are ya! - I'm fine. 969 01:20:13,653 --> 01:20:17,156 - Where are you? - In Topanga Canyon. I just killed Beth. 970 01:20:17,240 --> 01:20:20,368 - What? - Nah, I'm kiddin'. Look out your window. 971 01:20:20,451 --> 01:20:23,079 You little couch potato! 972 01:20:24,288 --> 01:20:27,166 - Hi, Owen! - Hi, Larry. 973 01:20:27,792 --> 01:20:30,169 - Owen, come on up. - OK. 974 01:20:31,045 --> 01:20:34,632 - I missed you. - I missed you, too. It's been a year. 975 01:20:34,715 --> 01:20:37,635 - Wow. You look terrific. - Thank you. So do you. 976 01:20:37,718 --> 01:20:40,221 - Well, thanks. How's Momma? - Dead. 977 01:20:40,304 --> 01:20:43,266 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Mm, well... 978 01:20:43,349 --> 01:20:45,059 Did you, um... 979 01:20:45,142 --> 01:20:46,811 No! 980 01:20:46,894 --> 01:20:49,480 No. Natural causes. 981 01:20:49,855 --> 01:20:52,608 - That's good. - Yeah, well. 982 01:20:52,692 --> 01:20:56,404 - I see you're writing. - I started the day I got outta the hospital. 983 01:20:56,487 --> 01:21:00,825 And I haven't stopped, Owen. I'm half a paragraph away from finishing my book! 984 01:21:00,908 --> 01:21:03,411 - That's great! - Yeah, it's really somethin'. 985 01:21:03,494 --> 01:21:06,122 Well, you know what they say. 986 01:21:06,205 --> 01:21:09,458 A writer writes... always. 987 01:21:09,959 --> 01:21:12,044 Well, look. I won't keep you from it. 988 01:21:12,127 --> 01:21:15,506 - I just came by to say hello and... - You just got here! 989 01:21:15,589 --> 01:21:20,094 Actually, I gotta catch a plane. I'm goin' to New York because... I wrote a book. 990 01:21:20,177 --> 01:21:23,347 - What? - It's gonna be on the stands in two days. 991 01:21:23,806 --> 01:21:26,684 You wrote a book? And it's gonna be published? 992 01:21:26,767 --> 01:21:29,395 - Yeah. - Owen, that's unbelievable! 993 01:21:29,478 --> 01:21:32,564 It's called Momma and Owen and Owen's Friend Larry... 994 01:21:32,648 --> 01:21:37,236 ..and it's all about you and me and Momma and our experiences together. 995 01:21:38,487 --> 01:21:40,572 What's your book about? 996 01:21:43,283 --> 01:21:46,787 You wrote a book called Momma and Owen and Owen's Friend Larry? 997 01:21:46,870 --> 01:21:48,956 Yeah. 998 01:21:49,873 --> 01:21:53,752 - It's all about our... - ..experiences together. 999 01:21:55,963 --> 01:21:58,507 - Slut! You slut! - Are you angry with me? 1000 01:21:58,590 --> 01:22:01,176 - I don't like you, Owen! - You want me to leave? 1001 01:22:01,259 --> 01:22:03,762 No, I want you dead and in hell! 1002 01:22:06,390 --> 01:22:09,768 - I can't breathe! - Because I'm choking you, you moron! 1003 01:22:09,851 --> 01:22:11,478 Here! 1004 01:22:11,561 --> 01:22:13,563 Here. I want you to have this. 1005 01:22:13,647 --> 01:22:15,524 - What is this? - That's my book. 1006 01:22:20,612 --> 01:22:24,115 - What is this? You wrote a pop-up book? - Yeah. Yeah. 1007 01:22:24,199 --> 01:22:27,285 See? Here's where we meet in class. Pull that tab. 1008 01:22:28,453 --> 01:22:32,249 See? And... And this is you and me and Beth on the choo-choo. 1009 01:22:32,332 --> 01:22:33,875 Toot, toot! 1010 01:22:34,459 --> 01:22:38,630 And here's where you meet Momma. See her cane? 1011 01:22:39,589 --> 01:22:41,257 "Bath!" 1012 01:22:41,841 --> 01:22:46,096 - And these are my coins. See my coins? - It's your coin collection! 1013 01:22:46,179 --> 01:22:50,683 And here's... See, instead of you chuckin' her off a train, we go on a picnic together. 1014 01:22:50,767 --> 01:22:54,646 - What do we do? Devil-egg her to death? - Oh, no. There's no death. 1015 01:22:54,729 --> 01:22:57,524 - There's no death? - No, this is a kids' book. 1016 01:22:57,607 --> 01:22:59,609 - You wrote a pop-up book! - Yeah. 1017 01:22:59,692 --> 01:23:04,280 - This is the cutest thing I've ever seen! - Yeah, and here's the best part. 1018 01:23:04,364 --> 01:23:08,993 We all go on vacation in Hawaii. You... and me... and Beth. 1019 01:23:10,245 --> 01:23:13,248 "Hate makes you impotent, love makes you crazy." 1020 01:23:13,331 --> 01:23:15,959 "Somewhere in between you can survive." 1021 01:23:16,626 --> 01:23:19,128 - Gets better every time I read it. - Thank you. 1022 01:23:19,212 --> 01:23:22,840 - Except for the last line. - I beg your goddamn pardon? 1023 01:23:22,924 --> 01:23:27,428 Hate makes you impotent, love makes you crazy. In the middle you can survive? 1024 01:23:27,512 --> 01:23:30,014 - Yeah! - It's cryptic! 1025 01:23:30,098 --> 01:23:32,558 - Cryptic, he says. - That's right. Cryptic. 1026 01:23:32,642 --> 01:23:33,559 Cryptic. 1027 01:23:33,643 --> 01:23:37,855 Watch this, Beth. Have you ever seen a weeble snorkel? Look at him. 1028 01:23:37,939 --> 01:23:41,067 You know, actually, I find it a little confusing. 1029 01:23:41,150 --> 01:23:44,111 - Are you kidding me?! - Just that last line. 1030 01:23:44,195 --> 01:23:46,155 - Just the last line! - Yeah. 1031 01:23:46,239 --> 01:23:49,283 This is great. So you and Sancho Panza agree on this? 1032 01:23:49,367 --> 01:23:53,788 You're taking criticism from somebody who had his book signing at Toys 'R' Us! 1033 01:23:53,871 --> 01:23:56,290 I don't believe this. 1034 01:23:56,832 --> 01:23:59,960 - You're really agreeing with him? - He's got a point. 1035 01:24:00,044 --> 01:24:02,254 - He's got a point?! - Yeah! 1036 01:24:02,338 --> 01:24:06,217 I'm a Book-of-the-Month Club alternate, on the best-seller list. 1037 01:24:06,300 --> 01:24:09,970 With his book, you get a free balloon! I don't understand it. 1038 01:24:10,054 --> 01:24:14,391 - He's entitled to his opinion. - I know he's entitled to his opinion. 1039 01:24:14,475 --> 01:24:16,894 But look at him. He's a buoy with hair. 1040 01:24:18,896 --> 01:24:23,275 Keep going a little further, Owen. Maybe somebody'll harpoon you. 1041 01:24:27,947 --> 01:24:30,032 People, get ready 1042 01:24:31,784 --> 01:24:33,869 Wherever you are 1043 01:24:36,288 --> 01:24:39,416 People, get ready 1044 01:24:40,250 --> 01:24:42,878 No matter how far 1045 01:25:01,647 --> 01:25:03,941 Everywhere in the village 1046 01:25:05,734 --> 01:25:08,654 People are dancing in the streets 1047 01:25:09,529 --> 01:25:12,282 It's the beginning of the new life 1048 01:25:13,617 --> 01:25:16,745 You can turn it up on your radio 1049 01:25:18,163 --> 01:25:20,207 Shikisha 1050 01:25:20,290 --> 01:25:22,209 Shikisha 1051 01:25:22,292 --> 01:25:23,418 Shikisha 1052 01:25:23,502 --> 01:25:25,587 Shikisha, wah, Shikisha 1053 01:25:26,588 --> 01:25:28,673 Shikisha 1054 01:25:28,757 --> 01:25:30,759 Shikisha 1055 01:25:30,842 --> 01:25:31,843 Shikisha 1056 01:25:31,927 --> 01:25:34,012 Shikisha, wah, Shikisha 1057 01:25:35,347 --> 01:25:38,141 People are dancing in the streets 1058 01:25:39,559 --> 01:25:41,645 Right across the Limpopo 1059 01:25:43,229 --> 01:25:46,274 It's the beginning of the new age 1060 01:25:47,692 --> 01:25:50,528 So turn it up on your radio 1061 01:25:52,155 --> 01:25:54,032 Stomp your feet to the beat 1062 01:25:54,115 --> 01:25:56,201 Feel the heat 1063 01:25:56,326 --> 01:25:58,203 Stomp your feet to the beat 1064 01:25:58,286 --> 01:26:00,371 Feel the heat 1065 01:26:00,455 --> 01:26:02,499 Stomp your feet to the beat 1066 01:26:02,582 --> 01:26:04,667 Feel the heat 1067 01:26:04,751 --> 01:26:06,753 Stomp your feet to the beat 1068 01:26:06,836 --> 01:26:08,463 Feel the heat 1069 01:26:08,546 --> 01:26:10,757 Wah, Shikisha 1070 01:26:10,840 --> 01:26:13,593 Shikisha! 1071 01:26:30,109 --> 01:26:32,195 Stomp your feet 1072 01:26:34,155 --> 01:26:36,240 Stomp your feet 1073 01:26:38,451 --> 01:26:40,536 Stomp your feet 1074 01:26:42,747 --> 01:26:44,832 Stomp your feet 1075 01:27:23,954 --> 01:27:26,582 86078