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1
00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:04,240
Anyway, that's how I
escaped from space prison!
2
00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:05,500
Oh, scary place.
3
00:00:05,540 --> 00:00:08,080
Wow, Rick! That's - That's
one - one heck of a story.
4
00:00:08,110 --> 00:00:10,250
I sure do wish I could have been
there to see it happen.
Oh, come on.
5
00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:13,190
Who wants to watch
a mad scientist use
handmade sci-fi tools
6
00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:15,140
to take out highly trained
alien guards
7
00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:17,180
when we can sit here
and be a family at Shoney's?
8
00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:20,090
Dad, it's great to have you
back, no matter where we are,
9
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,780
but wouldn't you like
to go home?
10
00:00:21,820 --> 00:00:23,990
Emotionally speaking, honey,
Shoney's is my home.
11
00:00:24,020 --> 00:00:25,350
Yeah, but you just
got out of prison.
12
00:00:25,390 --> 00:00:27,860
I mean, how much of a step up
from that is -
13
00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:29,640
Jerry, get out of the booth,
take all your clothes off,
14
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:30,830
and fold yourself
12 times.
15
00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:32,300
You got it.
16
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,000
Six folds, huh?
17
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,880
W-W-What, have you guys got me
in a Series 9000?
18
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,950
You cheap insect fucks
didn't think I was worth
your best equipment?
19
00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:46,820
Man, I told the money bugs.
20
00:00:46,850 --> 00:00:48,890
I said, "You know
who this guy is, right?
21
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,960
You want me to get intel
out of the smartest mammal
22
00:00:50,980 --> 00:00:53,780
in the galaxy, you better
give me a decent brainalyzer."
23
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:55,450
Well, you might as well
order some pancakes,
24
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,700
because I don't see the need
to leave this part of my brain.
25
00:00:57,730 --> 00:00:59,160
Oh, I think you do.
26
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:01,360
Eventually, you're either gonna
relax your cerebellum...
27
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,340
Shoney's.
...or the Series 9000
is going to turn it into mush.
28
00:01:04,370 --> 00:01:06,670
Relaxed enough?
29
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:07,860
I admire you, Rick.
30
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:10,370
When I -
31
00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:12,810
Rick, here's -
32
00:01:15,380 --> 00:01:16,680
What's going on?
33
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,840
It's hard to tell. He may have
manifested some sort of butt.
34
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:20,090
He can do that?
35
00:01:20,110 --> 00:01:23,210
He is the smartest man
in the universe.
36
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,350
I tell ya, the
Galactic Federation
taking over Earth -
37
00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,350
best thing that's ever happened
to this family.
38
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,220
I just got my sixth promotion
this week,
39
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,520
and I still don't know
what I do.
40
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,190
Who cares how high
they promote you?
41
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,940
Everyone just gets paid
in pills.
42
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,930
Well, when you're not sure
what you do for a living,
43
00:02:12,970 --> 00:02:14,210
you can make your own rules.
44
00:02:14,230 --> 00:02:16,370
Summer, show your father
some respect.
45
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,770
He's pulling down
a six-chewable figure income.
46
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,040
I'll get that in a moment.
How are everyone's pills?
47
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,050
Oh, Morty, you've hardly
touched your pills.
48
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,050
I kind of had big pills
for lunch, and I
49
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,220
wasn't gonna eat
any more pills.
50
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:30,650
Thank you, Conroy.
51
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:31,950
You spoil us,
Conroy.
52
00:02:31,990 --> 00:02:33,730
Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up
with this!
53
00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:36,420
Stop saying his name!
He abandoned us.
54
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:37,730
Willem Dafoe!
55
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,970
Th-That's the guy I couldn't
think of this morning.
56
00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:41,260
Don't make
my mistake, Summer.
57
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:43,240
Don't deify the people
that leave you.
58
00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:46,560
You'll end up a horse surgeon
in a world controlled by aliens
59
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,260
whose medicine
keeps horses
60
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,070
healthy forever.
61
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,970
Horses live longer
than tortoises now.
62
00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:53,410
Is that what you want
for yourself?
63
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,670
Maybe I just want you to care
if I run away yelling!
64
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,010
Who saved room
for pill brûlée?
65
00:02:58,050 --> 00:02:59,590
Ooh!
66
00:02:59,610 --> 00:03:02,080
I can see why you chose
this family-friendly restaurant
67
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,760
to represent
your cerebellum.
68
00:03:03,780 --> 00:03:06,750
So safe, so comfortable,
so Shoney's.
69
00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:10,100
But admit it, Rick - you're
going crazy cooped up in here.
70
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,590
Let's go visit
some memories.
71
00:03:11,630 --> 00:03:12,770
Oh,
any particular ones?
72
00:03:12,790 --> 00:03:14,290
You want to see
my first boner,
73
00:03:14,330 --> 00:03:15,430
or should we go straight
to the moment
74
00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:17,430
I discovered
interdimensional travel?
75
00:03:17,470 --> 00:03:19,770
Ooh, your little flappy doodles
are twitching.
76
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,100
Does that mean you're aroused,
or did you just get a signal
77
00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:23,610
that one of your buddies
found a grape?
78
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,940
It's arousal.
79
00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:26,800
Yes, I'd like very much
to visit the memory
80
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,100
of you inventing
your portal gun.
81
00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:30,770
Yeah, well, tough titties.
82
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:33,440
There's no tougher titty
than a psychotic break, Rick.
83
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:37,550
Well, that depends on who breaks
first - me or the titty.
84
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,960
Someone special
you remember?
85
00:03:40,990 --> 00:03:42,900
Is that your memory of her
out there -
86
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,350
between where you were
on 9/11
87
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,120
and your favorite
sports blooper?
88
00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:52,040
If we stay here, you'll die,
along with all your memories.
89
00:03:52,070 --> 00:03:54,010
If you take me
where I want to go...
90
00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:55,630
she'll be there, too,
won't she?
91
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:58,910
The day I invented the portal
gun is the day I lost her.
92
00:03:58,940 --> 00:04:00,310
Oh,
that sounds cool.
93
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,240
I can get what I want
and you can say goodbye.
94
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,220
Fine, but I'm driving.
95
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:07,250
...as an excuse
to strip away our freedom.
96
00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:12,080
Huh? What are you -
What are you doing?
97
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,660
Grandpa Rick must have
some secret lab, right?
98
00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:17,500
With, like, laser guns and
jets packs and a space tank!
99
00:04:17,530 --> 00:04:19,060
And we can go
break him out of prison!
100
00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:20,390
Look at these dead flies!
101
00:04:20,430 --> 00:04:22,000
Maybe if we arrange them
in a certain order,
102
00:04:22,030 --> 00:04:23,840
it plays a hologram
or it opens a secret door.
103
00:04:23,860 --> 00:04:25,360
Summer,
you're freaking me out.
104
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,510
I know things have changed
a lot, and I know you miss Rick,
105
00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:29,510
but getting him back
wouldn't make things better.
106
00:04:29,540 --> 00:04:31,080
And, you know,
we're not doing so bad.
107
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,600
We're miserable, Morty!
108
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,000
There's a mandatory curfew,
their weird calendar made me 47,
109
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,670
and they weaponized
the Eiffel Tower!
110
00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:40,510
Hey, I like being 35.
I-I can rent a car now.
111
00:04:40,550 --> 00:04:41,620
Because you suck.
112
00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:43,190
You've been keeping
your lip zipped about it
113
00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:45,060
since Grandpa got arrested,
but the fact is,
114
00:04:45,090 --> 00:04:46,930
you're freaking stoked
to bail on him.
115
00:04:46,950 --> 00:04:48,350
He bails on everybody!
116
00:04:48,390 --> 00:04:50,200
He bailed on Mom
when she was a kid!
117
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:51,720
He - He bailed
on tiny planet!
118
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,570
And in case I never made this
clear to you, Summer,
119
00:04:53,590 --> 00:04:54,760
he bailed on you.
120
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,640
He left you to rot
in a world that he ruined
121
00:04:56,660 --> 00:04:57,890
because he doesn't care!
122
00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,600
Because nobody's special to him,
Summer,
123
00:04:59,630 --> 00:05:01,000
not even himself.
124
00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:03,030
So, if you really want your
grandpa back, grab a shovel.
125
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,870
The one that won't let you down
is buried in your backyard!
126
00:05:05,910 --> 00:05:07,050
You're right!
127
00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:08,570
What?!
No, I'm not right.
128
00:05:08,610 --> 00:05:10,880
I-I was using
ghoulish overkill!
129
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:12,140
Ghoulish overkill,
Summer!
130
00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:18,060
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
131
00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:18,890
Whoa, whoa!
132
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,150
Where are we going?
133
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,050
To the day it all began...
and ended.
134
00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:27,320
The moment
that changed everything.
135
00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:30,500
Welcome to McDonald's.
Can I take your order?
136
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,230
Yeah, I'd like to get
a 10-piece McNugget
137
00:05:32,270 --> 00:05:34,110
and a bunch
of the Szechuan sauce.
138
00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:35,730
Like, as much as you're allowed
to give me.
139
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:38,810
In 1998, they had this promotion
for the Disney film "Mulan,"
140
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,110
where they -
where they -
141
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,770
they created a new sauce
for the McNuggets
142
00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:44,350
called Szechuan sauce,
and it's delicious!
143
00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:46,420
And then they got rid of it,
and now it's gone.
144
00:05:46,450 --> 00:05:48,290
This is the only place
we're gonna be able to
try it, is in my memory.
145
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,260
Rick, you're doing this bit
while your brain is melting.
146
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:52,110
Okay. All right,
all right.
147
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,150
Is that...
Me.
148
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,120
I used to wear
blue pants.
149
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,100
When'd you make the leap
to interdimensional travel?
150
00:06:06,130 --> 00:06:07,830
I didn't.
I did.
151
00:06:07,870 --> 00:06:10,280
Well, well, well.
152
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:11,830
If it isn't us.
153
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:13,670
You know the worst part
about inventing teleportation?
154
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:15,280
Suddenly, you're able to travel
the whole galaxy,
155
00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:16,620
and the first thing
you learn is,
156
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,510
you're the last guy
to invent teleportation.
157
00:06:18,550 --> 00:06:21,950
Fortunately, you're about
to invent something
much more powerful.
158
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,580
What?
159
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,290
Summer, nobody has to know
about that.
160
00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:35,470
We could put it right back
and pretend we never saw it,
161
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,900
like we did
with Dad's mannequin leg.
162
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,460
Fine, stay here.
I'll rescue Grandpa myself.
163
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,310
And how are you gonna
do that?
I don't know yet.
164
00:06:41,330 --> 00:06:42,500
I'll make it up
as I go.
165
00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:43,980
That's what
Grandpa Rick does.
166
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,200
That's what heroes do.
167
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,080
Y-You want to see
what a hero Rick is?
168
00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:48,880
I-I'll bring you somewhere,
Summer.
169
00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:51,580
Um...
My goodness, children.
170
00:06:52,410 --> 00:06:54,240
Relinquish
the illegal technology
171
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,480
to the nearest
Federation representative.
172
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,790
And then
we'll all play Balderdash.
173
00:07:14,570 --> 00:07:17,180
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, oh! My goo-
174
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,440
Oh, my God.
175
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,920
I have
that exact same top.
176
00:07:24,950 --> 00:07:26,350
What is this place?
177
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:28,190
And what's with
"Hunger Games" Summer?
178
00:07:28,220 --> 00:07:32,190
That's my sister.
This used to be my home.
179
00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:33,690
Imagine doing
anything you want,
180
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,750
then hopping to a timeline
where you never did it.
181
00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:37,400
Imagine going anywhere,
anytime,
182
00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:38,950
with nobody able
to stop you.
183
00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:40,560
Sounds lonely.
184
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:42,360
Lonely? Dude,
you have yourself -
185
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,570
your infinite selves.
186
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,300
It's a nonstop party
where all the guests
187
00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:46,760
are the only person
we like.
188
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,400
You think it's cool
being the smartest man on Earth,
189
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,040
but once we give you
this technology,
190
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:53,040
you become the smartest thing
in every conceivable universe -
191
00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:55,600
the Infinite Rick,
a god.
192
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,770
Eh, pass.
193
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,540
Excuse me?
Bro, Ricks don't pass on this.
194
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:00,790
Who do you think
you are?
195
00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:03,050
A different kind of Rick,
I guess.
196
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,580
Well, we'll see how long
that lasts.
197
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,550
I heard
sci-fi noises.
198
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,100
Did you make
a breakthrough?
199
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,290
Sort of.
200
00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:13,800
I just took
a long look at myself,
201
00:08:13,830 --> 00:08:16,640
and I don't think this
science thing is gonna pay off.
202
00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:20,130
Well, why don't I get Beth
and we'll go out for ice cream?
203
00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:22,240
That, Dianne,
is the last great idea
204
00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:24,740
that will ever be had
in this garage.
205
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:30,340
Good roasted Cronenberg,
I assume.
206
00:08:30,380 --> 00:08:33,950
Mom, you're looking...
feral.
207
00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:36,450
I can't believe
Rick did this.
208
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:37,850
These are the parts
of Rick's adventures
209
00:08:37,890 --> 00:08:40,490
you don't get to see -
the parts he leaves behind.
210
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,520
All right,
it's been great, guys.
211
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:45,500
I really only wanted to stop by
here for a quick "I told ya so."
212
00:08:45,530 --> 00:08:47,470
So, uh...
Looking for this?
213
00:08:47,490 --> 00:08:48,660
What are you doing
with that?!
214
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:51,040
It stinks of Rick.
215
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:53,260
No! Why?!
Why would you do that?!
216
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,430
W-W-What is the matter
with you people?!
217
00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:59,510
You're a bunch of back-savages,
backwoods savage morons!
218
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:03,020
You can never leave.
She cannot remain.
219
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,370
She stinks of Rick.
220
00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:09,290
Hold your fire!
Hold your fire!
221
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,190
I'm Morty C-137.
222
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,890
We detected a compromised
portal gun. Where is your Rick?
223
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,120
He's in prison.
Summer.
224
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,630
He got captured
by the Federation
225
00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:19,030
and we were going to
rescue him.
226
00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:21,470
Very troubling.
We can't risk Citadel secrets
227
00:09:21,490 --> 00:09:22,960
falling into
the Federation's hands.
228
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,200
We'll dispatch S.E.A.L.
Team Ricks immediately
229
00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:27,060
to break into the prison
holding C-137.
230
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,560
Boo-yah.
And assassinate him.
231
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,300
Boo-nah?
232
00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:35,080
Come on, girls!
The ice cream's gonna melt.
233
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:49,480
Nooooooo!
234
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,320
Wow.
This sauce is fucking amazing.
235
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,770
You said it was promoting
a movie?
236
00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:01,010
Carry the three,
add a two.
237
00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:03,830
I got it.
I fucking got it.
238
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:06,270
Whoa.
I-Is that it, the portal gun?
239
00:10:06,310 --> 00:10:08,410
Yeah.
That's the three lines of math
240
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,740
that separates my life
as a man from my life
as an unfeeling ghost.
241
00:10:11,780 --> 00:10:13,220
Awesome-possum.
242
00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:16,050
Mission Control,
you getting this?
243
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,780
Holy shit, yes!
Yes, we got it! Yeah!
244
00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:21,760
Thanks, Rick. I'll try
to remember to shut
off the brainalyzer.
245
00:10:21,790 --> 00:10:24,200
Actually, I think
it shuts off automatically
246
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:25,590
once your brain
is liquid.
247
00:10:25,630 --> 00:10:26,770
Don't know,
don't care.
248
00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:28,690
Pull me out.
249
00:10:28,730 --> 00:10:30,540
Hey, pull me out.
Can you hear me?
250
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,430
Nope, they cannot.
Why not?
251
00:10:32,470 --> 00:10:35,270
Because the code you just
uploaded wasn't actually
my portal-gun formula,
252
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:38,130
it was a virus giving me full
control over the brainalyzer.
253
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:39,900
What are you talking about?
This is a memory.
254
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,770
Y-You can't alter details
of a memory.
255
00:10:41,810 --> 00:10:44,050
True, but you can alter
anything you want
256
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,480
about a totally fabricated
origin story.
257
00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:49,110
It's a trap! Abort!
I'm still in his Shoney's!
258
00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:51,120
Repeat - we never left
his Shoney's!
259
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,420
Mission accomplished, boys.
Pull me out.
260
00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:54,620
Roger that.
261
00:10:54,650 --> 00:10:55,820
Okay, have fun in what's left
of my brain.
262
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:57,230
I'm gonna transfer
to yours.
263
00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:59,230
Oh, there's not enough room
for all my genius,
264
00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:01,330
so I'm leaving you with
my fear of wicker furniture,
265
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,790
my desire
to play the trumpet,
266
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,260
my tentative plans
to purchase a hat,
267
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:05,940
and six years
of improv workshops.
268
00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:07,310
Comedy comes in threes.
269
00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:08,900
It's a trap! Abort!
We never left his -
270
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:13,200
No!
271
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:17,140
Another day,
another dollar.
272
00:11:17,180 --> 00:11:18,750
Am I great insect creature
or what?!
273
00:11:18,780 --> 00:11:19,950
Congratulations, Agent.
274
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,580
You'll be highly commended
for this.
275
00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:23,610
Always wait for permission
to feel accomplishment.
276
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,980
That's my motto.
One thing
still perplexes me -
277
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:27,830
why would Rick Sanchez
turn himself in?
278
00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:30,330
Well, I'm just a dumb-ass bug,
but it's possible Rick knew
279
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,030
he'd be interrogated
at this facility,
280
00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,830
where we not only keep
our most wanted,
281
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,290
but our
most sensitive data.
282
00:11:35,330 --> 00:11:37,100
Anyone here with level-nine
access could
283
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,830
I don't know,
collapse a government.
284
00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:40,210
I'm just gonna go
take a dump.
285
00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:42,300
Is it cool if I use
the level-nine bathroom?
286
00:11:42,340 --> 00:11:44,710
W-W-What's the level-nine
master access code again?
287
00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:47,280
Oh, that's easy -
8-3...
288
00:11:47,310 --> 00:11:48,310
Yeah!
289
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,970
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
in the house!
290
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:53,520
Hi, Rick.
291
00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:55,020
Bye, Rick.
292
00:11:58,890 --> 00:12:00,530
D-99, y-you okay?
293
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,220
I'm bummed I didn't get to give
that insect dick a test-drive.
294
00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:07,170
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
T-The Council of Ricks sent us.
295
00:12:07,190 --> 00:12:08,360
We have
your Morty and Summer.
296
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,870
They're prisoners
on the Citadel.
297
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,200
Great!
298
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,500
Security breach in room 6755.
299
00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:15,900
Lovely. Not only
is my plan screwed up,
300
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:17,410
I also forgot
how to improvise.
301
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,380
All security people approach.
302
00:12:19,410 --> 00:12:20,580
Security breach.
303
00:12:27,850 --> 00:12:29,390
A city of Grandpas?
304
00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:31,090
It's the Citadel of Ricks.
305
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,890
All the different Ricks
from all the different realities
306
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,550
got together to hide here
from the government.
307
00:12:34,590 --> 00:12:36,360
But if every Rick
hates the government,
308
00:12:36,390 --> 00:12:37,830
why would they
hate Grandpa?
309
00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:39,830
Because Ricks hate themselves
the most.
310
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,530
And our Rick
is the most...himself.
311
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:43,830
Not anymore, homey.
312
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:45,230
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
turned his unibrow
313
00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:47,710
into two brows -
with a bullet.
314
00:12:48,970 --> 00:12:51,740
Your Rick's dead!
Your Rick's dead!
315
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:57,340
Sir, Rick D-99 is returning
from the mission alone.
316
00:12:57,380 --> 00:13:00,420
Apparently, S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
suffered heavy casualties.
317
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:01,750
Bring him in.
318
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,550
He says he'll only talk to
a Rick with higher clearance.
319
00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:06,250
La-di-da.
Give me that.
320
00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:09,790
D-99, this is the commander in
chief of the Citadel's militia.
321
00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:11,950
Go -
good enough.
322
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,420
He's a spy. Blow him up.
I'm gonna go take a shit.
323
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:18,690
Operating
an unregistered portal gun,
324
00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:20,260
radicalizing a Summer,
325
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,930
conspiring with
a traitorous Rick.
326
00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,110
How do you plead?
327
00:13:23,140 --> 00:13:24,580
How is this
a fair trial?
328
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,070
O-Our lawyer
is a Morty.
329
00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:28,380
It's not fair, you have no
rights, and he's not a lawyer.
330
00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:30,120
We just keep him here
because he's fun.
331
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,470
Look at him go.
332
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:32,610
Ha ha, yeah!
333
00:13:32,650 --> 00:13:35,150
We'll be lenient
if you renounce your Rick.
334
00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:36,610
What say you, Summer?
335
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:37,820
I say fuck you!
336
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,410
My grandpa was my hero.
337
00:13:39,450 --> 00:13:41,250
You killed him
because you were jealous of him.
338
00:13:41,290 --> 00:13:42,930
That's pretty obvious
from the haircuts.
339
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,230
So do what you want to me,
but let my brother go.
340
00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:46,830
He already
renounced Rick.
341
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,070
Morty?
342
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,470
What?
343
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:52,070
N-No, I don't want to see
your Pog collection.
344
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:54,440
I don't renounce Rick,
and I never have.
345
00:13:54,470 --> 00:13:56,940
I was just trying
to protect my sister.
346
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,600
I wanted you to have
a normal life.
347
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,580
That's something you can't have
when Rick shows up.
348
00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:03,350
Everything real turns fake.
Everything right is wrong.
349
00:14:03,380 --> 00:14:06,150
All you know is that you know
nothing and he knows everything.
350
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,920
And, well - well,
he's not a villain, Summer,
351
00:14:08,950 --> 00:14:10,660
but he shouldn't be
your hero.
352
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,980
He's more like a demon
or a super fucked up god.
353
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,250
Let's not suck the ghost
of his dick too hard.
354
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,800
He was a terrorist,
and now he's dead.
355
00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:19,750
Oh, yeah? If you think
my Rick's dead, he's alive.
356
00:14:19,790 --> 00:14:21,920
And if you think you're safe,
he's coming for you!
357
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,700
Hey, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing in here?
358
00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:32,210
This area's for teleporting
the entire Citadel
359
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,850
to somewhere else
using only buttons and dials.
360
00:14:34,870 --> 00:14:36,500
Yeah, well,
it's a bad idea
361
00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:39,470
to have it designed
that way then, isn't it?
362
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,390
What the fuck
363
00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:48,990
We just teleported into
a galactic federal prison.
364
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:51,490
I'm gonna go take a shit.
365
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:52,890
Order in the court!
366
00:14:52,930 --> 00:14:54,700
Whoa! What the hell?!
Oh, my God!
367
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,340
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
No, no, no!
368
00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:05,910
Whoa!
369
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:07,450
Whoa!
370
00:15:14,050 --> 00:15:18,160
The Citadel's been teleported
to Federation space.
371
00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:20,690
It's doomed.
This has to be C-137, you guys.
372
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,380
What are we gonna do?!
You know he's coming for us.
373
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:24,650
All right, calm down!
We have his Summer as a hostage.
374
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:25,820
Obviously, I get her.
375
00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:28,400
You guys play Rick, Laser,
Scissors for the Morty.
376
00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:31,400
W-W-What the hell
is that?
377
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,960
Payback.
378
00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:37,040
Grandpa Rick!
379
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,600
Duh!
You're alive!
380
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,910
Rick!
Morty, take this.
You're gonna need it later.
381
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:47,180
Hold on, hold on.
Whoa!
382
00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:48,780
That's enough, Rick.
383
00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:50,590
What - What's this
supposed to accomplish?
384
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,590
We have infinite
grandkids.
385
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:54,560
You're trying to use
Disney bucks at a
Caesar's Palace here.
386
00:15:54,590 --> 00:15:57,130
That's a bluff.
He's bluffing, sir. He loves me.
387
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,700
You're a rogue Rick -
irrational, passionate.
388
00:15:59,730 --> 00:16:02,430
You love your grandkids.
You came to rescue them.
389
00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:04,230
I came to kill you,
bro.
390
00:16:04,260 --> 00:16:05,760
That's not even
my original Summer.
391
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,610
Oh, my God. He's not bluffing.
He's not bluffing!
392
00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:09,560
R-Rick?
Why not shoot through her?
393
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,800
20 yards, nine-gauge
plasma pistol,
394
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,280
My first shot would liquify
her insides and injure you,
395
00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:15,950
second shot adds recoil.
396
00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:18,120
The risk to me is minimized
if I wait for you to shoot her,
397
00:16:18,150 --> 00:16:19,550
which I'm encouraging you
to do.
398
00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:21,120
What the fuck
Or let her go,
399
00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:22,890
which I will reward
with a quicker death.
400
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,460
Because you love her!
401
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,220
Because it's incentive for you
to give me my cleanest shot,
402
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:28,880
which will be your
least painful death.
403
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,390
But if you want to die slower
than that, I'm super into it.
404
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:33,390
All you got to do to get
that started is kill the girl.
405
00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:35,770
I hate you!
Not an issue, sweetie.
406
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,640
That's enough!
Drop the gun, Rick!
407
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:39,460
Morty, I know you're too stupid
to get this,
408
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,140
but you're really fucking
this up right now.
409
00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:43,680
I'm not letting you
let my sister die!
Drop the gun!
410
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,670
I wasn't gonna let her die,
you fucking moron!
411
00:16:45,710 --> 00:16:46,910
Ha!
Aww.
412
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:48,510
The point is he thought
I was going to.
413
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:49,940
I totally did,
by the way.
414
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:51,420
You're a fucking
moron, Morty.
415
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:52,670
Morty,
you fucking idiot!
416
00:16:52,710 --> 00:16:54,410
You're a serious
fucking idiot, Morty!
417
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:55,990
You basically
killed us all!
418
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:57,620
You're the worst!
You're as dumb as
a bag of sand.
419
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,150
Who's stupid now,
bitch?!
420
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,190
Morty,
we just got him back!
421
00:17:08,530 --> 00:17:09,930
That was amazing,
Morty.
422
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,290
Oh, my God.
Wow.
423
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,690
Okay, let's wrap this...
424
00:17:14,370 --> 00:17:16,010
Good job, Morty.
Let's go, kids.
425
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,340
What?!
What happened?
426
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,100
Oldest Rick trick
in the book.
427
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:21,180
"Fake gun,
shoot me in standoff."
428
00:17:21,210 --> 00:17:22,480
Brilliant.
Ha, yeah.
429
00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:25,020
G-Good thing
I saw that note.
430
00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:33,020
Can't we just
portal home?
431
00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:34,780
Not until I finish
what I started.
432
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:37,690
And that is how you get
level-nine access
433
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,190
without a password.
434
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:40,970
Freeze!
435
00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:42,820
Employee of the month,
ladies and gentlemen.
436
00:17:42,860 --> 00:17:44,890
So, what are you doing
with level-nine access anyways?
437
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:47,700
Destroying the
galactic government.
Awesome! Whoa, cool!
438
00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,800
Are you going to set all their
nukes to target each other?
439
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,580
Ooh, or - or reprogram
their military portals
440
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,240
to disintegrate
their entire space fleet?
441
00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:55,300
Good pitches, kids.
I'm almost proud.
442
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,570
But watch closely as Grandpa
topples an empire
443
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,880
by changing a one...
to a zero.
444
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,380
Mr. President, the Blemflarck's
value just dropped to nothing.
445
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:09,690
What do you mean?
I mean, our single centralized
galactic currency
446
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:13,490
just went from being worth one
of itself to zero of itself.
447
00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:15,370
Calm down, people.
448
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,740
Deploy the galactic militia
and declare martial law.
449
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:18,730
Yes, sir.
450
00:18:18,770 --> 00:18:20,570
Uh, what should I
pay them with?
451
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,500
Their payment is the honor
they'll feel to serve their -
452
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:25,510
Wait. Who's paying me
to yell at this guy?
453
00:18:25,540 --> 00:18:27,910
I can answer that -
for money.
454
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,400
I never thought I'd live
to see this day.
455
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:30,770
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
gentlemen!
456
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,280
There's a solution here
you're not seeing.
457
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,460
Give me your jacket!
Give me those pants!
458
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,520
There's
no rich people or poor people!
459
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,270
I want more jackets!
460
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:50,940
He who controls the pants
controls the galaxy!
461
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:09,420
No longer will the insects
have domain over surface world!
462
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,550
Jerry, what the hell
is happening?!
463
00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:21,620
The galactic government
collapsed.
464
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:22,890
Are you okay?
465
00:19:22,930 --> 00:19:24,570
Look, I-I'm not proud to share
this, but the truth is,
466
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,300
I just kept crawling,
and it kept working.
467
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:28,130
Oh, I'm glad
you're okay.
468
00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:32,180
Are we ever going to stop paying
for indulging your father?
469
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,100
Our children, our planet,
our jobs?
470
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,570
Is there anything left
to lose?
471
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:38,950
Just each other,
and I'll never let you go.
472
00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:42,050
And I'm so sorry
I ever did this to us.
473
00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:44,920
Guess who dismantled
the government?
474
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:46,850
Please don't
leave me again.
I never will, baby.
475
00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:48,830
I was right.
He turned himself in on purpose.
476
00:19:48,860 --> 00:19:50,260
It was all part
of his plan!
477
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,830
Jerry, is there any
light beer left?
478
00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:53,600
It's insane what you miss
in prison.
479
00:19:53,630 --> 00:19:55,600
Um...okay.
No.
480
00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:57,670
No, no, no.
Foot down time.
481
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:59,300
No, you're right.
Where's the vodka?
482
00:19:59,330 --> 00:20:01,560
Beth,
it's him or me!
483
00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:07,370
Seems like you guys
need some privacy.
484
00:20:07,410 --> 00:20:09,710
I'll, uh -
I'll be in the garage.
485
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:15,140
What the fuck
Not cool, Jerry!
486
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:18,950
A man's garage
is his castle.
487
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,290
Jerry's going to...
488
00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:28,370
spend some time...
489
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,630
divorced.
490
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,330
Oh, I-I'm sorry
to hear that, sweetie.
491
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,730
I hope I had nothing
to do with that.
492
00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:35,510
Oh, God, Dad, that is not
your burden to bear.
493
00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:38,340
I feel terrible
that I misjudged you.
494
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:40,130
This is gonna be good
for Jerry.
495
00:20:40,170 --> 00:20:42,070
For everybody.
For everybody.
496
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:45,210
I better tend to Jerry
497
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,880
before he changes his mind
and doesn't move out.
498
00:20:47,910 --> 00:20:50,210
I will leave you two
to your adventures.
499
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,920
Oh, my God. Nancy says
500
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,420
they're drawing and quartering
aliens in the school courtyard,
501
00:20:54,450 --> 00:20:56,720
and it technically counts
as patriotism.
502
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,700
Geez! Are my parents seriously
gonna get divorced?
503
00:20:59,730 --> 00:21:01,100
All right, Rick,
I'm gonna go to my -
504
00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:03,000
Not so fast, Morty.
You heard your mom.
505
00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:05,540
We've got adventures to go on,
Morty - just you and me -
506
00:21:05,570 --> 00:21:07,570
and sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom,
507
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,060
but never your dad.
508
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:10,570
You want to know why, Morty?
Because he crossed me.
509
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,400
Okay, take it easy, Rick.
T-T-That's dark.
510
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,910
Oh, it gets darker,
Morty.
511
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,870
Welcome to the darkest year
of our adventures.
512
00:21:15,910 --> 00:21:18,420
First thing that's different -
no more Dad, Morty.
Oh, geez.
513
00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:19,920
He threatened to turn me in
to the government,
514
00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:22,020
so I made him
and the government go away.
515
00:21:22,050 --> 00:21:23,250
Oh fuck
516
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,610
I've replaced them both
as the de facto patriarch
517
00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:27,380
of your family
and your universe.
518
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,250
Your mom wouldn't have accepted
me if I came home...
Oh, man.
519
00:21:29,290 --> 00:21:30,860
...without you
and your sister,
520
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,690
so now you know the real reason
I rescued you.
Oh!
521
00:21:32,730 --> 00:21:34,270
I just took over the
family, Morty, and if
you tell your mom...
522
00:21:34,290 --> 00:21:36,390
Oh, man.
...or sister I said any of this,
I'll deny it,
523
00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:37,940
You're gonna deny it.
...and they'll take my side
because I'm a hero, Morty.
524
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,430
And now you're gonna
have to go...
Oh.
525
00:21:39,470 --> 00:21:41,110
...and do whatever I say,
Morty, forever!
526
00:21:41,130 --> 00:21:42,960
And I'll - I'll go out
and I'll find some more of that
527
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,100
"Mulan" Szechuan teriyaki
dipping sauce, Morty.
528
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:48,480
What are you talking about?
Because that's - that's
what this is all about, Morty.
529
00:21:48,510 --> 00:21:50,110
Szechuan?
That's my one-armed man!
530
00:21:50,140 --> 00:21:52,240
I'm not driven by avenging
my dead family, Morty!
531
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:53,550
That was fake.
532
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,080
I-I-I'm driven by finding
that McNugget sauce.
533
00:21:55,110 --> 00:21:57,380
McNuggets?
I want that "Mulan"
McNugget sauce, Morty!
534
00:21:57,420 --> 00:21:58,660
That's my series arc, Morty.
What the hell?
535
00:21:58,690 --> 00:22:00,960
If it takes
nine seasons,
536
00:22:00,990 --> 00:22:03,700
I want my McNugget dipping
sauce, Szechuan sauce, Morty.
What are you talking about,
Rick?
537
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,550
That's what's gonna take us
all the way to the end, Morty.
What are you
talking about?!
538
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:07,150
Season - Nine more
seasons, Morty.
539
00:22:07,190 --> 00:22:09,620
Nine more seasons until I get
that dipping Szechuan sauce.
540
00:22:09,660 --> 00:22:11,560
What is that?!
For 97 more years, Morty!
541
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:12,770
What are you
talking about?!
542
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,810
I want that McNugget sauce,
Morty!
543
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,010
Is it ready?
544
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,810
Yes.
We can bring it online now.
545
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,050
Do it.
546
00:22:57,380 --> 00:23:00,120
I am Phoenix Person.
547
00:23:00,150 --> 00:23:02,220
Phoenix Person?
Is that what we settled on?
548
00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:04,160
I thought we all agreed
on Cyber Bird.
549
00:23:04,180 --> 00:23:05,850
You said you didn't care
what he was called
550
00:23:05,890 --> 00:23:07,390
as long as
we brought him back.
551
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:08,860
Yeah,
but Phoenix Person?
552
00:23:08,890 --> 00:23:10,460
Fine fuck it.
Who cares?
553
00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:13,690
Ka-kaw!
42629
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