Original subtitles

‫ANNOUNCER: Previously: ‫ What's this?

‫That, my dear nephew, is a ‫ rare bottle of Irish whiskey.

‫Little something to wish you ‫ well on your first day back.

‫What gives?

‫We've come to ‫ the conclusion...

‫That you're a lost cause, and ‫ now we gotta cut you loose.

‫You got a great family, Tom.

‫Look, I gotta tell you, bro, ‫ these kids, they need a dad.

‫Ah, yeah. ‫Yeah.

‫Come on, asshole. ‫ Do something about it.

‫I think you're drinking ‫ too much.

‫I'm trying to explain ‫ something to you here.

‫Let's get a drink.

‫I get what ‫ you're trying to do.

‫The tough love. ‫ It's old school. ‫ It's admirable.

‫I eat when I'm up. ‫ I eat when I'm down.

‫You're gonna eat yourself ‫to death.

‫That's kind of the point.

‫Jesus Christ.

‫Janet, I am so sorry.

‫Seriously, ‫stop beating yourself up.

‫Okay? ‫ Look, nothing happened.

‫Hey. ‫ Hey.

‫What are you doing here?

‫You two have got ‫ to be shitting me.

‫What?

‫[♪♪]

‫[Crowd Chattering]

‫[Rock Music ‫ playing over speakers]

‫What's up? ‫ What's up?

‫Well, well. ‫The prodigal bum returns.

‫Yep. ‫ What's the matter?

‫Where you going?

‫Yeah, you're, uh, supposed ‫ to treat the customers

‫with a little honor ‫ and, uh, you know...

‫Nice.

‫That's a tall order, ‫ the pricks I gotta deal with.

‫Present company ‫most definitely included.

‫Mm-hm.

‫All right, ‫ strike one, dipshit:

‫Don't bring ‫ your own bottle in.

‫Strike two: ‫ no smoking.

‫We're playing by the rules

‫of the great city ‫ and the state of New York.

‫So if you wanna drink that, ‫ smoke that, take it outside.

‫Okay. ‫ I'll take it outside.

‫Why don't you come outside ‫ with me, pussy?

‫Faggot.

‫Douche bag. ‫ Shit prick.

‫Dick weed. ‫ Nut sac.

‫Numbnuts. ‫'Mo.

‫[Scoffs]

‫'Mo.

‫Heh-heh. ‫ Unbelievable.

‫Hey. Hey! ‫ TOMMY: What?

‫Where you going? ‫ I'm going to the, uh,

‫little girls' room, ‫ queer bait.

‫Ass face.

‫Mm.

‫Great state of New York, ‫my balls.

‫[Sighs]

‫Tell me...

‫This is your choice?

‫[Scoffs]

‫Great. Heh.

‫Oh, boy.

‫Just great.

‫You almost bite it, ‫ but no.

‫God decides ‫ you get another chance.

‫Yeah. ‫Wasn't your time.

‫And this... Tommy, ‫ this is what you do with it?

‫lt's pathetic.

‫Broken record, pal.

‫lf it had been me walking ‫ out of those towers alive,

‫you can bet ‫you wouldn't find

‫my drunken, pathetic ‫ Irish ass in some backroom.

‫Great. ‫ Huh?

‫I'd be singing and dancing ‫ in the street.

‫But to you... ‫ Life is piss to you.

‫Life is nothing ‫ but piss.

‫Hey, you're dead, okay? ‫ You know, you're...

‫You're not even here, ‫ all right?

‫Tommy, that may be... ‫ Bullshit.

‫But I'm a goddamn hero.

‫[Grunts]

‫Okay, get up.

‫Get up! ‫ [Grunting]

‫You're the hero? Huh?

‫How about all the times I ‫ pulled your ass out of shit? ‫ Huh?

‫Who was the hero ‫ then, asshole?

‫Huh? ‫Christ almighty,

‫half the medals ‫ you had on your chest

‫were because I didn't want... ‫ Goddamn want 'em!

‫You're the hero?

‫The one time I take my goddamn ‫ eyes off you, you wander off,

‫ends up being ‫ the biggest goddamn tragedy

‫in the history ‫ of the fire service.

‫And you're the hero, ‫and I'm the goddamn goat?

‫I'm glad you're dead.

‫I'm glad you're dead. ‫ I'm glad I'm alive.

‫Stop it. ‫ What are you doing?

‫Ah, Jesus Christ.

‫Oh, my God.

‫How many times ‫ did I tell you

‫not to ride your goddamn bike ‫ in the street?

‫You didn't tell me ‫ that day.

‫I said it ‫ about 50 goddamn times.

‫I wanted to show you ‫ my wheelie.

‫You couldn't do ‫ a goddamn wheelie.

‫Yes, I could. ‫ Lifting your front tire

‫of your bike ‫a half an inch...

‫A wheelie. ‫ Stop using that voice.

‫Mom said it was cool. ‫Mom? Mom this. Mom that.

‫I'm sick of Mom.

‫I knew you were gonna be ‫a pussy.

‫I knew it.

‫You ruined things between me ‫ and your mother.

‫You know that, right? Huh?

‫You happy now? ‫ Hm? Happy?

‫[Grunts]

‫[The Von bondies' ‫ "c'mon, c'mon" playing]

‫♪ On another day ‫C'mon, c'mon ♪

‫♪ With these ropes tied tight ‫Can we do no wrong? ♪

‫♪ Now we grieve ‫'Cause now it's gone ♪

‫♪ Things were good ‫When we were young ♪

‫♪ When my teeth bite down ‫I can see the blood ♪

‫♪ Of a thousand men ‫Who have come and gone ♪

‫♪ Now we grieve ‫'Cause now it's gone ♪

‫♪ Things were good ‫When we were young ♪

‫♪ Is it safe to stay? ‫♪ C'mon, c'mon

‫♪ Was it right to leave? ‫♪ C'mon, c'mon

‫♪ Will I ever learn? ‫♪ C'mon, c'mon

‫♪ C'mon, c'mon ‫C'mon, c'mon ♪

‫[Crashing]

‫Hey. He still in there?

‫Yeah. Going strong.

‫You said he came ‫in with a bottle?

‫Yeah. ‫ Whiskey. Good stuff.

‫How much of it ‫ was gone?

‫I don't know. ‫ Close to half?

‫Phew. ‫He's still moving around?

‫That's impressive. ‫ [Crashing]

‫God only knows ‫ what he's been up to.

‫One of his hands ‫is all bloody.

‫[Sighs]

‫Hey, listen, take this.

‫Buy him a couple more rounds.

‫What? ‫ You're kidding me, right?

‫Nail in the coffin in case ‫ the bottle doesn't work.

‫And then just, you know, ‫let him sleep it off.

‫All right. ‫ All right?

‫[Cell Phone ringing]

‫[Grunts]

‫Mm. Yeah.

‫COLLEEN: ‫Dad?

‫Coll, what's up?

‫Are you okay? ‫You sound kinda sick.

‫I'm fine.

‫Fine.

‫Just sick of a ‫lot of assholes. ‫That's what I'm sick of.

‫But I'm not sick of you.

‫You know what?

‫Glad you called. I wanted ‫ to tell you I love you, okay?

‫And I know I don't say ‫ that often,

‫but I'm saying it now.

‫And I'll tell you ‫something else.

‫You know something else?

‫You know, parents ‫ aren't supposed to say this,

‫but I'm gonna say it. ‫ You're my favorite.

‫You're not supposed ‫ to have a favorite kid.

‫But you were always my ‫ favorite. I'll tell you why.

‫Because you don't take any...

‫You got balls.

‫And you don't take ‫ any shit off anybody,

‫and you never took ‫ no shit off nobody,

‫and I... You know, ‫ that's why I love you.

‫What's going on? ‫ What are you doing?

‫Uh, um...

‫Could you ‫come pick me up?

‫Yeah.

‫Let me tell you something. ‫ Ahem.

‫You are smart, ‫ and gorgeous obviously,

‫and funny. ‫ I know.

‫You have ‫a great attitude.

‫And don't change that.

‫That's gotta... ‫ That's gotta stay.

‫That's a keeper. ‫Smile.

‫What are you doing? ‫ I'm putting this on YouTube.

‫ "When Dads Drive Drunk." ‫I'm not drunk.

‫Lookit...

‫lf I was drunk, ‫could I do this? Lookit.

‫Hands on the wheel! ‫ Don't do that.

‫I do this all the time.

‫Not when I'm in the car.

‫Don't do that. ‫ I could make a ‫ sport out of it.

‫I could win a gold medal. ‫Here.

‫Let me tell you ‫ something else.

‫That's the thing ‫ with your mother, you know.

‫She was a blast.

‫And then, ‫ out of nowhere, she sucks.

‫Now she's just a big pain ‫in my balls.

‫No shit! You know... ‫ Right.

‫lf I had a pair of balls, ‫ there would be a giant pain

‫in them, ‫ and it would be her.

‫[Scoffs]

‫Did I say you were funny? ‫Mmm...

‫You okay with this? ‫ Hell, yeah.

‫You heard what she said, ‫we can drink for free!

‫I know. And you have to...

‫You have to ‫ learn how you can... ‫ I know.

‫Adapt. ‫ You know what I mean?

‫Be flexible. ‫ Yeah.

‫Flexible. ‫ Hell, yeah.

‫Don't tell Shawn about this ‫ because he'd get...

‫I'm not gonna...

‫...way freaked out. ‫ Why would I tell...

‫I don't care ‫ about his disapproval.

‫You shouldn't care.

‫Hm. ‫ Right?

‫Totally. ‫ You know what I mean?

‫Don't tell your mother.

‫Okay. Yeah. ‫ This is just our...

‫Okay. So...

‫MAN: You guys ready to roll? ‫ BOTH: Yeah!

‫To me.

‫Could you just pull over?

‫I wanna get out. ‫I'm the responsible one.

‫I get to decide ‫who does what, when, how.

‫My truck. My rules. ‫ My night.

‫Give me my phone back! ‫ No.

‫No. ‫ The phone is mine.

‫Give me my phone back. ‫ I'm not giving you the phone.

‫You want it, ‫come and get it.

‫[Both Grunting]

‫Get back here.

‫All right. ‫I'm gonna count to three.

‫One...

‫[Knocking On door]

‫TOMMY: ‫ I hear you.

‫Oh. ‫ Hey.

‫[Thud] ‫ Oh!

‫lt's okay. It's Tom. ‫What are you doing here?

‫Hey. Hello.

‫Oh!

‫Oh, what stinks like mint? ‫ What?

‫What stinks like mint?

‫I'm... I'm minty.

‫I am gonna just...

‫Oh, shit. I'm gonna...

‫Oh, Mr. Minty.

‫Tommy, come on. ‫ You gotta go.

‫Yeah! ‫ What are you doing in here?

‫Whatever you do, ‫ keep your pants on.

‫Don't lay down ‫ on the bed.

‫Okay, don't unzip ‫your pants.

‫Hey. I... I don't have ‫ school tomorrow.

‫School.

‫Tommy, come on. You gotta pick ‫ it up, get it together.

‫[Grunts]

‫Jimmy.

‫Night!

‫ls he out?

‫Yes. I think he's out.

‫What is that? ‫ NyQuil?

‫[Car Alarm blaring]

‫[Tommy Groaning]

‫[Sighs]

‫Janet?

‫Katy?

‫[Glass Shard thuds]

‫[Sighs]

‫[Groans]

‫[Glass Crunching]

‫My God.

‫[Sighs]

‫Shit.

‫[Cell Phone ringing]

‫Oh, goddamn it.

‫Yeah?

‫FRANCO: ‫Where the hell are you?

‫Franco. I'm, uh...

‫Where are you?

‫Uh, I'm... I'm home. ‫ We're not working ‫ today, right?

‫Where's Colleen?

‫How the hell should I know?

‫Get your ass down here now.

‫Hey. What's up? ‫ Hey, Tom.

‫Next time you put your hands ‫ on her, I swear to God...

‫[All Yelling]

‫I'm not joking. ‫What's going on?

‫She's done being ‫ the punching bag, asshole!

‫Next time you wanna fight, ‫ you come find me, a man!

‫What are you talking about? ‫ What, man?

‫You didn't go over there ‫after I left

‫and start tearing ‫the place apart?

‫Where? ‫ What are you talking about?

‫Janet's house. ‫ How much of a dick are you?

‫Know how much you terrorized ‫ them? They spent the night

‫at Janet's cousin's house ‫in Jersey.

‫All right, break it up!

‫Break it up! ‫ Go to your neutral corner.

‫We got bigger fish to fry.

‫Tommy, I've been calling ‫you all morning.

‫Where is Colleen? ‫I don't know.

‫You were with her last night? ‫ No.

‫Nobody's heard from Colleen ‫ since around 10.

‫Yeah? ‫ Okay?

‫She went out with somebody ‫ around 8:30.

‫She didn't say who.

‫Then Janet called her around, ‫ what, 10.

‫Said you were coming ‫ to pick her up.

‫Now, where is she, Tommy?

‫Where is she?

‫I don't know.

‫Hey, hey. Listen, I just... ‫ I just got up, guys.

‫I haven't ‫ even had coffee yet.

‫Let me... ‫ Let me take a piss and, uh,

‫straighten myself out ‫ a little bit.

‫Yeah. Go wake up, Tom. ‫ Have a drink!

‫You dick!

‫Come on. Grab a seat.

‫[Sighs]

‫[Sighs]

‫Thanks.

‫So you don't remember ‫ picking her up?

‫Remember her calling you?

‫Um...

‫ls there a message ‫ from her on your phone?

‫Oh. Earrings. ‫ Lovely.

‫Are they Colleen's?

‫Those are clip-ons. ‫ She hates clip-ons.

‫I spent some time ‫ in my uncle's jewelry store

‫when I was a kid. ‫These diamonds are real.

‫They could be his, ‫ you know?

‫Maybe he got so drunk last ‫ night, he put 'em on

‫and a nice dress. ‫Maybe, uh, a little wig,

‫some ladies' underwear ‫and went out on the town.

‫lt happens.

‫No. No messages from Colleen.

‫Well, what exactly do you ‫ remember about last night?

‫Um, I remember plenty ‫ of stuff.

‫Let's just stay focused ‫ on Colleen, all right?

‫I've called her ‫a hundred times.

‫Her moms has been calling her,

‫and nothing, nada. ‫She's off the grid, son.

‫Well, maybe she doesn't wanna ‫ talk to you.

‫Maybe she wants to talk ‫ to her old man.

‫[Cell Phone ringtone barking]

‫That's... ‫ That's Colleen's phone.

‫That's her ring for you.

‫[Cell Phone barking]

‫Why?... Why do I get ‫ a barking dog?

‫Yeah. ‫ Why not an Irish jig?

‫Yeah. Or a drunk ‫ puking his guts out?

‫Colleen likes ‫to take pictures.

‫Girl gets a few drinks ‫ in her,

‫she thinks she's goddamn ‫Annie Leibovitz.

‫[Whispers] ‫Annie Leibovitz?

‫Boo-yah. ‫ Do I know my lady?

‫Tons of new flicks ‫ from last night right here.

‫What do we got? ‫ All right.

‫Let me start ‫ from the beginning.

‫ALL: ‫ Whoa!

‫What? ‫ That's my new Christmas card.

‫TOMMY: ‫ I don't wanna see that.

‫No, no. ‫ It was not my idea.

‫She wanted to do ‫ a little boudoir photography.

‫lt looks like ‫ a little booty photography.

‫Yeah, your ass looks ‫ kinda ashy.

‫Do some squats, ‫ tighten that shit up.

‫My ass is tight. I wouldn't ‫ talk about ashy, peewee.

‫I moisturize ‫ twice a day.

‫All right, just turn it off.

‫This is charming. ‫You might wanna get this

‫blown up for the next ‫AA father-daughter night.

‫Uh-oh. ‫I hit something.

‫Wait a minute. ‫ What?

‫Tommy, who is this?

‫Uh, uh... ‫ I don't know.

‫[Woman Speaking indistinctly ‫ over pa]

‫LOU: ‫ Well, this may help.

‫Hair of the dog.

‫Maybe, uh, knock something ‫ loose up there,

‫get the gears going again.

‫I don't know, Lou.

‫I mean, just the smell ‫ of that alone is...

‫I don't know ‫ if I can get it down.

‫FRANCO: ‫ Jesus, you're a prize.

‫The volume of booze you have ‫ tossed past your teeth

‫for no good reason ‫ all these years,

‫and now that it might ‫ do some good,

‫now you loose your thirst? ‫ Seriously?

‫All right.

‫[Grunts]

‫Ah.

‫All right, good. ‫ Empty your pockets. ‫ Let's see what we got.

‫I mean, so far, ‫ we got the earrings.

‫We got the cell phone.

‫We got a napkin, ‫a lighter.

‫SEAN: ‫ What else?

‫ "Alice 501. CPW."

‫That's, uh, ‫ Central Park West.

‫Dash it, Holmes. ‫ You've done it again.

‫Aw, thanks, homes.

‫Okay. Who's Alice?

‫I don't know.

‫Henderson's.

‫Alice Henderson. ‫ I know an Alice Henderson.

‫No, that was ‫a Henry Anderson.

‫No, it was, uh, ‫ Henry Aaron, actually.

‫Hank Aaron. I don't ‫ really know him at all.

‫What the hell? Sorry.

‫lt was the sign. ‫lt was the name

‫on a sign at a bar.

‫Okay, there's a bar. ‫ There's a bar.

‫Okay. Okay, thank you, ‫ hair of the dog.

‫Keep drinking. ‫ Anybody got a phone

‫with Internet on it? ‫Yeah. I'm already on it.

‫Bars named Henderson's ‫ in the greater New York ‫ City area:

‫I got six.

‫Three in Manhattan, ‫ one in Queens,

‫one in Staten Island, ‫ and one in Jersey City.

‫Any of those ring a bell, Tom?

‫No. ‫ You got a picture of Colleen?

‫I got a picture ‫ in my wallet from...

‫I don't have my wallet.

‫Ah, Jesus. Listen, I have ‫pictures of her upstairs.

‫Bring one down ‫to Mike and Sean.

‫Franco, write down ‫ the addresses of these places.

‫Give it to these guys. ‫ You guys go to these places.

‫Check 'em out. ‫ You see any sign of Colleen,

‫you call us with the 411.

‫Black Shawn, you stay here ‫ just in case she shows up, ‫ all right?

‫You moisturize your ass?

‫Rest of you guys, ‫let's go.

‫LOU: ‫ Well, it looks like ‫ you've been hanging out

‫with a higher class ‫ of broad.

‫Too bad ‫ you can't remember.

‫Well, that doesn't ‫ look good.

‫Twenty-nine ‫ hundred bucks.

‫And that's just ‫ for the glass.

‫Yeah, well, we're looking ‫ for a woman named Alice, 13H.

‫You and everybody else.

‫Management's been trying ‫to call her.

‫They want her to pay for this.

‫She broke the window?

‫She gets some asshole ‫ up to her place last night,

‫both drunk as skunks.

‫He's only up there maybe ‫an hour, comes down,

‫pukes his guts out in a ‫ planter in the lobby, ‫ and it's green.

‫The planter? ‫ The puke.

‫Green.

‫Doorman goes to grab ‫ this asshole.

‫They tussle a little bit.

‫Before you know it, ‫ poor Tony comes flying

‫through the window, ‫ and Tony is not a young guy.

‫Uh, excuse me a second.

‫Any chance you're, uh, the ‫ asshole in that, uh, story?

‫You! You! It's him! ‫ It's the green-puking asshole!

‫lt's him? Hey! ‫ Go get him!

‫Police! Police! ‫ Police!

‫No. I was here all last night ‫ and never saw her.

‫And I've got a ‫ pornographic memory ‫ when it comes to chicks.

‫You mean photographic?

‫Hey, you got your memory, ‫I got mine.

‫What, are you guys cops? ‫No. Firefighters.

‫Jeez, why didn't you say so? ‫ Sit down, have a pop ‫ on the house.

‫Sweet. ‫ Thank you.

‫Wait, guys. ‫ We're kind of busy.

‫We have five more bars ‫ to get to.

‫Ahem. It's on the house, ‫dudes.

‫Good point. We'll make it ‫a short one.

‫Or a regular one ‫ and we drink it fast.

‫Another good point. ‫You're two for two, bro.

‫Here you go, Damian. ‫ What?

‫You hold these. ‫ You will be the DD.

‫What's that?

‫The designated...?

‫Hitter.

‫Hey.

‫Yeah, ‫ so is this the new chapter?

‫What? ‫ Huh?

‫The new Tommy that loves his ‫ family so much?

‫Where is she?

‫So help me God, ‫ if something happened to her!

‫Janet, stop. ‫ Hey! Hey!

‫Leave her alone. ‫ FRANCO: I'm trying ‫ to help you.

‫Had to be Franco, huh?

‫Do you really ‫ hate me that much?

‫I don't know ‫ what you're talking about.

‫You know what you said. ‫ What? What did I say?

‫Oh, goddamn you.

‫Let me tell you something.

‫lf I find out ‫that you slept with him,

‫then you won't see ‫ those kids again.

‫You know what you ‫ goddamn said, Tommy!

‫FRANCO: ‫ Janet, Janet. Relax, relax.

‫Come on. That's enough.

‫Let's go in the back ‫ and calm down.

‫How's it going, ‫ boss?

‫Not too good.

‫No word yet, huh?

‫Nope.

‫ls he out?

‫You at Sheila's last night?

‫Why would I be at Sheila's? ‫ I don't know.

‫Were you at Sheila's ‫ last night?

‫I don't know. ‫ But for some strange reason,

‫I seem to remember you being ‫ at Sheila's last night.

‫Why don't we solve one mystery ‫ at a time, Scooby?

‫Hey, kid, ‫ I just want you to know

‫I would have never ‫ called her to meet

‫had I known ‫ this was gonna happen.

‫What do you mean? ‫ We've been getting together.

‫I've been talking to her,

‫trying to straighten ‫her out on the drinking.

‫We're having ‫ a good time.

‫She says she's gotta ‫ use the can.

‫She splits on me.

‫So I call Jan, ‫ Jan calls Colleen,

‫and Colleen said you ‫ were picking her up.

‫I was.

‫Tom. Did Colleen get ‫ into that bottle we gave you?

‫What bottle?

‫The fancy bottle of ‫ whiskey we gave you as ‫ a farewell gift.

‫We know you ‫ got into it.

‫But we kind of need to know ‫ if Colleen got into it.

‫Why? ‫ What's the big deal?

‫Listen, ‫ I know we were at the bar,

‫Eddie said that you got ‫ into it and it was half full.

‫So what?

‫What?

‫lt's... Goddamn it.

‫We laced the bottle.

‫What?

‫We laced the bottle.

‫Jesus Christ.

‫lt was a last-ditch effort, ‫ honey, to get him to stop.

‫You really think ‫ we'd walk away without ‫ trying everything?

‫You're our family, Tom. ‫Our own flesh and blood.

‫We love you.

‫Yeah, you love me.

‫Yeah.

‫You loved me enough ‫ to poison me.

‫Pretty much.

‫[All Yelling]

‫Enough!

‫TEDDY: ‫ Both of you, stop it. Stop it!

‫JANET: ‫lt was gonna come ‫to this sooner or later.

‫lt didn't matter ‫if you did it

‫or somebody else ‫gave you a push.

‫You were gonna end up dead.

‫Okay, this is it, ‫Tommy.

‫You have finally ‫hit rock bottom.

‫And maybe you can't see it, ‫ but they did a good thing.

‫We did.

‫Ow!

‫You goddamn idiots!

‫You did a good thing for him,

‫but did you think ‫ about somebody else

‫getting into that bottle? ‫Your niece for example.

‫Never came into our heads. ‫ You gotta believe me.

‫Look at him. Tommy Gavin, ‫you give him a bottle

‫of top-shelfed whiskey, ‫ the last thing

‫we thought he was gonna do ‫ was share with anybody.

‫The only dangerous thing ‫we thought about

‫was finding him trying ‫ to suck out the last drop.

‫So my little girl is out there ‫ sick somewhere.

‫We'll find her, honey. ‫ Don't worry, Janet.

‫We got a meeting. ‫A missing persons thing.

‫Shouldn't that ‫ be happening already?

‫Well, I mean, technically ‫you gotta wait 24 hours.

‫But we'll get him ‫ to put a jump on it.

‫lf you hear anything, ‫ call us.

‫[Sighs]

‫This is all my fault.

‫Goddamn it.

‫Shit.

‫Just find ‫ our daughter, Tommy.

‫lf it is the last thing ‫that you ever do for me,

‫you find her, ‫ and you bring her home.

‫Oh, God.

‫[Sighs]

‫Are you wearing ‫ a thong?

‫Yep.

‫Don't know why.

‫Take another one! ‫Ha-ha-ha!

‫Okay, enough, ‫ enough, enough.

‫How many you got ‫in there? Jeez.

‫I feel like Brad ‫ and Angelina Jolie,

‫except I don't have her tits ‫ or vagina.

‫You can have mine.

‫There's never any hot guys ‫ in this shit hole.

‫You know what? ‫ This is a shit hole.

‫I don't know why a ‫ good-looking broad like ‫ you is here.

‫Well, I told you. My son, ‫ he's like the manager or...

‫I'm sure he's a... ‫Oh! There he is.

‫Hank! ‫ Come here a second.

‫Come to Mommy. Look at what ‫ I found: a fireman.

‫TOMMY: Hey. What's up? ‫ Hey.

‫And this is his darling ‫ daughter, Colleen.

‫lt's Colleen.

‫Colleen. ‫ It's nice to meet you.

‫lt's nice to meet you.

‫SHEILA: ‫Hey. Any word on Colleen?

‫No.

‫How's Janet holding up? ‫ Oh, great.

‫She went back to the ‫ apartment to see if, uh, ‫ Colleen shows up.

‫Hey, did I, uh...

‫Did I show up ‫ at your apartment last night?

‫You don't remember? ‫ Uh, fuzzy.

‫Uh, yeah.

‫You showed up, ‫ and you were high as a balloon

‫at the goddamn ‫ Macy's parade.

‫Was, uh... ‫ Who was there?

‫Was there somebody else? ‫What do you mean?

‫Was Mickey there?

‫Mickey who?

‫Mickey the Mouse.

‫Mickey. ‫ Uh-huh.

‫Okay, what would Mickey ‫be doing at my apartment

‫in the middle ‫ of the night?

‫ls he out?

‫Right.

‫Ah.

‫[Footsteps Recede]

‫[Tommy Groans]

‫Pretty girl. But no, I've ‫ never seen her in here before.

‫This would've been ‫ last night.

‫Didn't see her last night.

‫But you were here?

‫Last night? ‫ Yeah.

‫No.

‫This is last night ‫ you're asking about?

‫Yes. ‫ Yes.

‫Yes, what? ‫ I wasn't here.

‫Who was here?

‫Lots of people, I imagine.

‫Folks drinking and what. ‫No, no, no.

‫We mean tending bar.

‫My brother Seamus.

‫He'll be here in about 20 ‫ minutes if you'd care to wait.

‫Maybe we should hang, ‫ dude.

‫This is the last Henderson's ‫ in the city.

‫lt'll save us the ‫ drive, right?

‫Good point, bro. ‫Again.

‫God, you're on fire. ‫ I am on fire, dude.

‫We'll hang. ‫ Guys.

‫Are you police officers?

‫Fdny. ‫ Well, sit yourselves down.

‫I'll pour you something free ‫ of charge.

‫Ah, hey. ‫ Thanks, man.

‫Sweet, dude. ‫I feel shitty saying it,

‫but I'm getting used to this ‫ whole missing persons thing.

‫What about a... ‫ What about another drink, Tom?

‫Maybe it'll help nudge ‫ some more information up ‫ to the surface.

‫Oh, God. I don't...

‫What are you doing here, ‫Tommy?

‫Why are you still here?

‫You know, ‫ if she was my child,

‫my own flesh and blood,

‫I wouldn't be sitting ‫ on my ass,

‫waiting for her to sashay ‫through the door.

‫I'd be out there ‫right now

‫looking under every ‫ goddamn rock in every city!

‫Listen, I... ‫No, I don't give a shit!

‫You lost her! ‫ [Cell Phone ringing]

‫You find her! ‫Now, Tommy! You find her!

‫We should get... I think...

‫TOMMY: ‫ Goddamn it. Come here.

‫Hello?

‫No, I think ‫ you have the wrong number.

‫"My friend ‫from last night"?

‫Alice?

‫Jean?

‫Jean.

‫Where did we meet?

‫[Both Moaning]

‫HANK: ‫ Right.

‫Where you going?

‫We're just gonna watch ‫ some TV up in Hank's room.

‫Oh, let them go ‫ and have some fun.

‫They're both good kids.

‫lt's not like anything ‫ bad's gonna happen. ‫ She's got condoms.

‫TOMMY: ‫ Okay.

‫Wait a minute. What?

‫Whoa, whoa, whoa. Condoms?

‫Sorry.

‫I mean... Uh!

‫Good. Good.

‫[Table Thuds]

‫Okay. That's it.

‫Let's get your jacket. ‫ No.

‫Forget your jacket. ‫ No, Daddy! Stop it!

‫You can make a new jacket ‫out of your condoms.

‫You go ahead. Hey.

‫Come on, honey.

‫Condoms.

‫SHEILA: ‫ I can't believe ‫ that you are wearing a thong.

‫Of all ‫ the reactions I've had,

‫this is the first one ‫ that involves anger.

‫Did I not ask you twice, ‫twice to wear a thong?

‫Once, two Easters ago, ‫ um, with the tequila,

‫and then on Fourth of July ‫ on the beach with ‫ the champagne.

‫lt was three times, ‫ okay?

‫You're forgetting ‫the Rosh Hashanah bender.

‫I guess you just ‫don't buy enough alcohol.

‫Or I don't buy cheap ‫ polyester, "look at me, ‫ I'm a whore,"

‫colored thong.

‫I'm not a whore, ‫all right?

‫Did you sleep with her, ‫ or just go through her ‫ panty drawer?

‫I don't remember. ‫ I do remember this.

‫Her name is Jean, and she had ‫ a great ass and great tits,

‫and she had legs ‫ that went on for...

‫Tommy!

‫You stud. Ha-ha!

‫I never thought ‫ I'd see you again,

‫you know, after the way ‫ you stormed out last night.

‫Hey.

‫Hi.

‫ls Jean home?

‫Oh, you silly! Come here.

‫Oh, go on.

‫She didn't come back here ‫as far as I know.

‫Well, maybe she met up ‫ with your son.

‫ls he here? ‫You could ask him, maybe.

‫No skin off my hump.

‫Hank!

‫HANK: ‫ What?

‫Can you come down ‫for a sec?

‫HANK: ‫I'm busy!

‫Probably masturbating.

‫He sees a therapist ‫ about it.

‫Come down! ‫ We have guests!

‫HANK: ‫Damn it!

‫I think I might have a pair ‫ of your earrings.

‫lt can't be mine.

‫No, see, my, my lobes, they... ‫ They're prone to infection.

‫Oh, good. ‫So I'm not the only one.

‫Are you missing ‫ any underwear?

‫I don't wear underwear.

‫Oh.

‫Hank!

‫Be nice.

‫You remember ‫ Tommy from last night.

‫Oh, yeah. I didn't recognize ‫ you without your tongue

‫halfway down my ‫ mother's throat.

‫That's not pleasant. ‫ Kiss my balls?

‫Maybe if I did, ‫ you wouldn't jerk off so much!

‫I don't jerk off!

‫Sorry.

‫So, uh, Jean, ‫ this, uh...

‫This bar where you met Tommy ‫ and Colleen last night...

‫Henderson's. ‫ Where exactly is that?

‫We were thinking ‫ about stopping over

‫and checking ‫ the place out.

‫lt's close, but I don't know ‫ where Henderson's is.

‫See, we met at a place called ‫the Rockaway Beach Inn.

‫I know every bar ‫for miles around.

‫There's no Henderson's.

‫Well, it's not like ‫ we expected to find her

‫waiting for us in there.

‫No, but we are gonna ‫ find her, Tommy.

‫I know, but she could be ‫ 50 feet away in some ‫ basement here.

‫She could be 50 miles away in, ‫ you know, some back alley.

‫How cold do you think ‫ it's gonna get tonight?

‫Don't worry.

‫We'll find her.

‫We are. We will. ‫ We are gonna find her.

‫We grab some coffee, ‫ we assemble whatever ‫ troops we have,

‫we head back ‫to the Rockaways,

‫do an organized search and we ‫ don't leave until we find her.

‫Maybe Mickey and Teddy already ‫ have some information about...

‫[Men Laughing]

‫Hi. ‫ Hi.

‫Remember me?

‫Uh, yeah...

‫I'm sorry for showing up ‫unannounced,

‫but, um, I'd just like ‫ my earrings back.

‫Of course you can. ‫ I have them right here.

‫There you go. ‫ Thank you.

‫Maybe I shouldn't have,

‫but I took a few pictures ‫last night of us,

‫but mostly of you.

‫Someone was too shitfaced ‫to perform.

‫Oh!

‫I'm sorry, ‫ but what was your name again?

‫Before I forget, ‫you owe me $14

‫for a new bottle ‫ of crme de menthe.

‫The only booze I ‫ had in the place. ‫ And he drained it.

‫That would explain ‫ the green lips.

‫Okay. You said something ‫about some pictures?

‫He was in my bed ‫ and nothing was happening.

‫I thought I'd have fun. ‫ I got my earrings,

‫and some hair extensions. ‫Go to the next one.

‫That's my favorite. ‫ TOMMY: Let me see.

‫[All Laughing]

‫All right. Let me see.

‫My heart. ‫ It's really not funny.

‫You are my new best friend.

‫Okay, everybody's ‫ had their little fun.

‫You got your earrings. ‫I think we're done here.

‫LOU: ‫ You've made him mad.

‫You won't get ‫your thong back.

‫You have no right ‫to be angry.

‫I mean, I'm the one who ended ‫ up with an empty bottle

‫of crme de menthe ‫ and a bedroom full of sand.

‫Goodbye, everybody.

‫ALL: ‫ Bye!

‫TOMMY: ‫Unh! Two!

‫All right, the last time ‫ I'm gonna say it.

‫Goddamn it!

‫Fine! Three!

‫Three!

‫God...

‫[Vehicle Approaches]

‫TOMMY: ‫Sheila, you come with me. ‫Lou, grab the others.

‫Go to that side. ‫ We'll cover this side,

‫You cover this side. ‫ Shawn!

‫LOU: ‫ You guys head south. Franco?

‫FRANCO: Yeah? ‫ LOU: You follow me.

‫NEEDLES: Tommy? ‫ TOMMY: Come with me.

‫Colleen! ‫NEEDLES: Colleen!

‫You guys, go that way. ‫ All right?

‫ALL: ‫Colleen!

‫LOU: Colleen! ‫ Colleen!

‫Colleen!

‫Colleen!

‫Sheila [In Distance]: ‫ Colleen!

‫The prodigal bum returns.

‫I hate you! ‫Get out of here!

‫[Laughing]

‫TOMMY: ‫ Go ahead! ‫ Get in the truck, goddamn it!

‫One last chance.

‫Sheila [In Distance]: ‫ Colleen!

‫Colleen!

‫Hey! I got her!

‫SHEILA: ‫ He got her!

‫Hey!

‫SHEILA: ‫ Guys, he found her!

‫No!

‫Colleen. Oh, no.

‫Coll. Coll?

‫Colleen. Hey. Hey. ‫ [Wheezing]

‫Hey.

‫[Coughs] ‫Hey. Hey.

‫ls she alive?

‫Yes. ‫ I'm so cold.

‫Oh, okay. Okay. ‫ She's cold.

‫SHEILA: ‫Let me give her my coat.

‫Here you go.

‫Coll.

‫Tommy, I'll call Janet.

‫SHEILA: It's okay. ‫ We got you.

‫Okay. Okay.

‫Daddy? ‫ TOMMY: Yes.

‫Got you, baby. ‫Okay. All right.

‫[♪♪]