All language subtitles for MacGyver.2016.S01E18.HDTV.x264-FLEETt

_

- Okay, they got to be here somewhere.
- Yeah. There.

All right, I'm going.
You-you stay. You stay.

What are you talking
about? I'm not staying.

It's six against one. You do the math.

Besides, you're a pacifist. I'm going.

- Hey, where are they?
- Getting away. Aah!

- Stay! What did I tell you?
- You... I'm not staying.

- Sound familiar?
- Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna trip you, man.

Cover!

- Vegas?
- _

- No.
- Disneyland?

What?

- Karaoke?
- Absolutely not.

- Laser tag?
- No.

Bowling? Wine tasting?

- Medieval Times, something...?
- Jack.

We just stopped a brutal dictator

from deploying a chemical weapon.

- Can't this wait till we get back?
- No.

We can't wait. I'm gonna tell you

the same thing I told
my sister last year.

Either you're celebrating
your birthday with Jack,

or you're agreeing to any and all plans

for your birthday being done by Jack.

You said the same thing to me...

- ... last year,
- Your choice.

- and I said the same thing.
- This year is gonna be different.

- And then, I had to explain
- I can feel it.

Einstein's definition
of insanity to you.

Okay, A: if you just pick
one, Jack might shut up.

And, B: why not? Birthdays are awesome.

Cake, presents. What's not to love?

Yeah, what's the matter with you?

Don't waste your time,
Riley. Been trying

to get Mac to celebrate a
birthday since the fifth grade.

No cakes, no piñatas, not even

one tail pinned on one donkey.

Oh, come on, Mac.

- Every donkey needs a tail.
- Okay, everyone.

Listen up. You know I love a good party,

but birthdays make no sense.

We are aging every second

of every minute of every day.

And for some reason, we decide
to pick one arbitrary day

to celebrate being one year older

all because some pope made a
calendar in the 16th century?

If we were on Mars, I
would be 14 years old,

and my next birthday wouldn't
be for another 231 days.

Mars? You're using

Mars as an argument against birthdays?

Stop playing footsie with me.

- What?!
- All I'm saying is

- birthdays are irrelevant.
- No, birthdays are not irrelevant.

Dude. They're precious.

Every day on this earth is,
especially in this line of work.

They're like signs in
those factories that say

it's been X amount of days
since the last fatal accident.

So, we're celebrating. I
don't care what planet it's on.

What about monster trucks?
You like monster trucks, huh?

Everybody loves watching trucks get

smashed together, people screaming, huh?

- Guys. Hey, guys, it's Matty.
- I do.

Hey, Matty.

Sorry to interrupt the
in-flight movie, folks, but

there's been a change of
plans. You're being rerouted.

I haven't slept in a bed in five days.

You haven't showered in five days.

Well, I'm sorry about that,

but it's gonna have to wait.

A 7.2 earthquake just struck

500 miles from your current location.

Okay, any casualties?

Not yet, but FEMA teams on the ground

are asking for all available help.

- Absolutely.
- Yeah, we'll do what we can.

Where are we going?

Magnitude of 7.2 struck at 8:41 a.m.,

just two miles off the coast of Hilo.

First responders are rushing
to the scene, reporting

citywide structural damage.

Mandatory evacuations are underway

as search and rescue teams
comb the streets for survivors.

Coming through!

- This is bad.
- Zero bars.

Cell network's down.

Power grid, too.

And with the roads in
the state that they're in,

these people are gonna
need a lot of help.

They're gonna need you,
Mac. Time to go to work.

Good, that looks good.

Sam Hopkins,

FEMA regional director.
Are you all volunteers?

Yeah, from the Phoenix Foundation.

Phoenix Foundation. Oh, right.

Uh, your boss called
to say you were coming.

Though I'm not quite sure
what a think tank can do.

How about I start by getting an
ad hoc network up and running,

get your cell phones working again?

And I'm about two-thirds
of the way through advanced

first aid training, so, I'll
see if I can help over there.

Uh, your boss was a little
vague about your skill sets.

What is it exactly you guys do again?

A little of this and a little of that.

Just point to the problem.

We'll make it go away.

Oh, well, that's a problem for starters.

Anyone got eyes on Carter? Can
you find Carter and have him

fix that generator again?

You're, uh, generator... this way?

Yeah, but... Hey.

Hey! Sorry. Excuse me.

Yeah, looks like your
electrician already

replaced the carb and
switched out the filter, so...

Guys, I appreciate the help, but

you really shouldn't
be messing with that

- if you're not a certified...
- Oh, don't worry, Mr. Hopkins.

He's certified... in everything.

So...

generator has a magnet in its inverter.

Sometimes that magnet, if it
loses strength, it needs to be

remagnetized, or the generator cannot...

Generate?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Clear!

A little bit of this,

a little bit of that, huh?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What
do you think you're doing?

I'm running I.T. here.

Bit generous claiming
you're running anything.

Your network's in shambles.

You think you can do better?

Just watch.

So you are good with this thing?

I know where the on-off switch is.

I recoded your node bootstrap
scripts so they auto-install.

Now I'm switching
from a reactive routing

to a hybrid system.

I'm Riley, by the way.

Kalei.

Nice to meet you, Kalei.

Have a seat. I could use some help.

All right, so... I recoded this...

Excuse me. I need this.

Right.

Sorry. Excuse me.

Requesting immediate assistance
near the Kaumana Hotel.

We have survivors trapped in a building

that could come down any minute.

We'll take that call. Where's the hotel?

Okay. The hotel is here,

half a mile away, but with the roads
out, there's no way for vehicles

to get them the heavy
equipment they need.

Well, then we'll just walk in on foot

and make what we need when we get there.

Is he serious?

When it comes to saving lives?

Yeah, absolutely.

Hey, what about hedgehog races?

- What?
- You know, for your birthday.

Jack, now is not the time.

Yeah, it is the time.
They book up really fast.

Cracks in the foundation.
They weren't kidding.

This place could go down at any second.

Hang on. I think this might be them.

Okay, please tell me you're the ones

- with the demolition equipment.
- Oh, yeah, that's us.

No, it's-it's not.

Sorry.

But I think we can help
anyways. I'm MacGyver.

This is Jack Dalton.

- We work with the Phoenix Foundation.
- Hi.

Hey. I'm Officer Kono
Kalakaua, Five-O Task Force.

Five-O? That's Steve
McGarrett's outfit, right?

Yeah. Wait.

So, Jack Dalton?

Oh, you heard of me?

Well, you're the one

that called with the information
about Dr. Madison Grey?

That's me. How'd that go, by the way?

She's dead.

- No so good for her then, huh?
- No, not so much.

So, where are we going?

Follow me.

Chin?

- Are these guys with Rescue?
- They're volunteers.

Jack here knows McGarrett.

Cool.

This is the wall you
radioed about, yeah?

Yeah. There's at least
one person trapped inside.

And you're sure they're still in there?

Kulikuli!

Yeah, I don't know how long they have,

and this sledgehammer
isn't doing any good.

It's probably a good
thing. Banging on this

may bring down the whole game of Jenga.

How fast can we get 50
pounds of sand up here?

What?

Yeah. Hey, look, I
know he's a weird dude,

but trust me, he's
got it all figured out.

You got it all figured
out, don't you, buddy?

Uh, yeah, as long as the
water mains aren't broken,

I think I can cut through this wall.

I just need some sand and some water.

What exactly are you making?

It's a water jet cutter.

Out of that stuff?

You sure it's gonna work?

Well, if I can get the water

to shoot out at 1,500 psi,

then, yeah... probably.

Probably?

Don't be alarmed.

"Probably" is as sure as he ever gets.

Charming, right? Here you go.

I think we were doing
better with the sledgehammer.

Hey, don't...

Lives are at stake,
man. Go turn on the hose.

Man.

Here, come on, guys.
We need to move this.

- Ready?
- One, two, three.

There she is.

Hey. Come on out.

Come on out, we got you.

We got... we got you.

Careful.

Thank you.

We need to get out of here now.

- Wait. you can't leave. Not yet.
- Why?

My co-workers... they're
still down in the lab.

I was only up here making a phone call.

Okay. More survivors? How many?

Uh, 15. Four floors down.

- Please, you have to save them.
- Steve, come on.

It was an aftershock! Move 'em back now!

You know, going through
a wall is one thing,

but four floors straight
down underneath that?

Well, if we're gonna do
this, it's now or never, man.

Anybody's got prayer,
anything like that...

Haa ka mikioi

I ke kai o Lehua.

- Didn't expect that one, did you?
- No.

Actually, that's an
old Hawaiian proverb.

What's it mean?

Literally, it's a
warning not to undertake

what you have not the
ability to accomplish.

So, so we're screwed?

- I'm just saying.
- Yeah.

Well, good news is,
if things go sideways,

you don't got to worry about
celebrating that birthday, pal.

- Hey.
- Hey.

You, uh, you know Kono's married, right?

How do you know? No,
before you answer that,

what makes you you think I'm
thinking about her right now anyway?

Because she's hot and I
know the way you think.

- Oh, do you?
- And to answer your first question,

she had a wedding ring on her finger.

What's that supposed to mean, huh?

Just 'cause she has a wedding ring on

isn't a guarantee
she's got a man at home.

She could be separated.

The ring could be stuck on
her finger, for all we know.

- Keep dreaming.
- You keep leaving your game at home...

I like having the dessert
table all to myself.

Hey, guys, check it out.

The computer room at the city
planning office may be caved in,

but the room storing the
paper files is still standing.

Uh, yeah, this one right
here... sub-basement four.

This is where the scientist
we rescued said that there were

15 survivors still trapped.

Six hallways, 18 rooms...

that's over 5,000 square feet.

And they could be
anywhere on that level.

If they're still alive.

Well, they're dead for sure
if we don't try to find 'em.

Well, I'm not saying we shouldn't try,

I'm just saying my manpower's
stretched thin as it is.

And search and rescue is
a slow, careful process.

Yeah, it is, when you don't
know where you're looking.

That's my point: we don't
know where we're looking.

Well, not yet. But, uh,

a police radar gun would help.

Radar gun?

To find people trapped in a building?

Hey, do yourself a favor, Mr.
Hopkins, just get on the horn,

get the radar gun, okay?

Gonna be the best decision
you made all day, trust me.

Anyone got a 20 on a police car?

This clearly isn't the first time

you've hacked the firmware on a router.

First time? No.

Stopped counting when I was 12.

Glad you're one of the good guys.

With those kind of skills,

you could be a very dangerous woman.

Oh, you have no idea.

What?

What?

Okay, good to go.

Back off, Bruno Mars.

You're not her type.

I hope.

Hey...

O... it's okay, little dude.

You are a dude, right?

Yup, you're definitely a dude.

Okay, it's okay.

Looks like you've been
through some stuff, huh?

Oh, man.

I think your leg is broken.

Uh, don't move. I got this.

Uh, uh, there's a little dog over here

- that's leg is... okay.
- Not now.

Clearly not your problem.

Okay.

Don't move. I got this.

What would Mac do?

Stay!

Let's see...

Uh, hey, give me a hand over here?

- Sure, what's up?
- Come here, right over here.

This dog. Yeah, just... just grab him.

Oh, yeah.

All right.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Okay? Yeah.

- There you go. Thanks, man.
- Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Think I'm gonna cry.

I'm definitely gonna cry.

We have 15 people running out of oxygen

under four stories of rubble,
and you're gonna do what...

give 'em a speeding ticket?

Oh, that's funny.

Got a... good sense of humor.

NASA recently invented a device

that uses low-power microwaves

to locate survivors trapped underground.

Now, we don't have one of
those, obviously, but...

with a little rewiring

and some custom code from
our friends back at base camp

we can make build a radar detector

that can sense a human heartbeat
through 20 feet of concrete.

So, hey, man, what's the
deal with your coworker?

You mean my cousin?

Oh, she's your cousin. Okay.

- Yeah.
- Is she-she married or...

Yeah, yeah, man, she's, uh,

- married, and very happily.
- Oh, okay.

Wow, that's... that's amazing.

Now we'll see if it works.

So I get what he does for
your think tank but, uh,

what is it that you do, exactly?

Me? Oh, I, you know,

I'm the big picture kind of...

behind the scenes... guy. You know.

Think tank.

Right.

Hey, guys, I think I got a survivor.

Hey. We got a hand.

Hey, we're gonna get
you out of there, okay?

- Just hang on.
- Hey, guys, I think I got another one.

- Go. We'll dig him out.
- All right.

- Hey, you good?
- Yeah...

What's the hair dryer say?

Nothing yet.

- Jack, you see that?
- Yeah, a tactical ladder.

Seems a little strange, doesn't it?

Whoa.

Hey, man, the, uh, first
responders are outside.

It's not safe in here.

What was that?

I don't know, man, but I don't
think he's a first responder.

Tac gear,

he's got a throat mic.

Hey, Jack, look.

Ooh, that's Chinese
special forces right there.

Definitely not part
of the relief effort.

What's he doing here?

Male voices. Speaking Chinese.

You want me to tell
you what they're saying?

My Mandarin's rusty,
yours is non-existent.

No, that's debatable now.

- I-I been there.
- Shh! Shh!

Got at least five or six voices.

They're inside the building.

I think they're here to steal something.

What... what kind of building is this?

_

According to my sources, that
building you're at is a front.

The DoD calls it Facility H9.

The basement levels house
an off-the-books DARPA lab

conducting top secret research
for the U.S. Government.

So the people trapped inside
are all DARPA scientists?

Correct. Some of America's
best and brightest

are currently trapped
40 feet underground.

Yeah, except the mercs
weren't going down to the labs,

- they were going up.
- Okay, so in order to prevent

DARPA's top secret projects from
getting into the wrong hands,

the scientists house them

in a vault on the fourth floor.

Normally, it's ultra-secure, but...

But after a major
earthquake with the power out

and the city sent into chaos...

These guys seize the
opportunity to steal

a pretty dangerous new toy.

- Any idea what they're after?
- No.

DARPA records barely admit

that this lab exists,

let alone describe the projects
that they're working on.

Okay, well, up is a
very dangerous direction

to be headed right now.

So if these mercs are willing
to take on that big a risk,

it's gonna be a big reward.

Which means whatever they were after,

bad things are gonna happen if
they leave this island with it.

Well, then don't let them.

I'm gonna go make some more calls.

If I get information,
I will get back to you.

So, what's the plan?

Split up.

You do know that's what
people say in horror movies

right before something
terrible happens, right?

Yeah, but she's right.

I mean, we've got two big problems,

and both require our
immediate attention, so...

Okay, well, kicking mercenary ass

is where I would be most useful

and you're the last chance
those scientists are gonna have,

so I think this is where you and
I go different directions also.

I'll go with Tex.

- Yee-haw.
- Okay, then I'll go with science guy.

- MacGyver, just MacGyver.
- Okay.

I wouldn't mind it, except I think

"Science Guy" is already trademarked.

And, actually, I think
that we're gonna be able to

cover more ground if we
both split up and, uh,

just stay in radio contact.

- Okay.
- It's a good idea.

- We'll do the same.
- Yeah.

And, hey, we're not done
talking about this birthday, man.

If you don't die, we're
gonna have a lot to celebrate.

- Can't hear you.
- Yeah, you could hear me.

If you're in pain or
need medical attention,

please move to this side of the tent

and a doctor will see
you as soon as possible.

And if anybody knows
who this dog belongs to,

I'd appreciate the info.

Don't worry, buddy,
we're gonna get you home.

I promise.

Lot of strays on the island, brah.

Little guy might not have an owner.

Here, he looks hungry.

Shrimp always hits the spot.

Even if you're walking on four legs.

Thanks. I'm Bozer.

Kamekona.

And this shrimp is insanely delicious.

Do you have a restaurant around here?

No, I got a couple of
food trucks on Oahu.

I just came to help.

Figured everyone needed a
good meal after all of this.

Yes! The ad hoc network

is officially up and running.

- What?!
- Yeah.

Couldn't have done it without you.

All right, yeah.

Girl troubles?

The girl isn't the trouble.

She's amazing.

It's that annoying
dude hanging around her,

being all tall and handsome and muscley.

I don't know, brah, she
doesn't seem to think

- he's so annoying.
- Oh, she does.

When she laughs at his jokes,
she's just being polite.

Your situation reminds me
of an old Hawaiian proverb:

Ka hee

o kai uli,

ka pae ka alaala.

That's beautiful.

What's it mean?

The squid from the deep blue sea

has a peculiar bunch.

Thanks?

But you're so not helping.

You sure about that, brah?

I did put a smile on your face.

Yeah, you did.

What about a beach-themed birthday
party, you know what I mean?

Volleyball, barbecue, big-ass bonfire?

Who doesn't love a big fire, right?

You know what? I'm the wrong guy to ask.

I had to leave my last
birthday party early.

Oh, yeah? Why's that?

Well, actually, my niece was kidnapped.

Really?

That would make me leave my
birthday party early, too.

- She okay?
- Uh, you know what? She's good.

Actually, she's perfect.

So, I bet her next birthday bash

you're gonna do it up right, huh?

Oh, yeah. We're pulling
out all the stops.

We're talking balloons,
Moana impersonator, the works.

That's what I'm talking about,
celebrate life, you know?

Gather some rose petals,
you know what I mean?

Pretty sure you mean rosebuds,
but I get what you mean.

So how come your friend
doesn't like birthdays?

I-I don't know, something about Mars.

See, the kid's problem
is, he thinks too much.

That's why I'm here.

To make him think less?

Sorta. And to keep him
from getting himself shot.

And to make sure he doesn't
miss the forest for the trees.

You know?

It seems to me like
he's lucky to have you.

I keep telling him that.

So, your husband make it
through the quake okay?

Oh, yeah. He's fine.

We live in Honolulu and
Oahu was mostly unaffected.

That's good.

How long you been married?

Going on two years.

Congrats. How'd you meet?

I... I arrested his father.

I guess you never know where
you're gonna find the right person.

Yeah, we're a regular rom-com.

What about you?

Is there a Mrs.
Makes-Stuff-Out-Of-Other-Stuff?

No.

I thought I'd met the right girl,

but then she betrayed her
country and tried to kill me.

- Okay.
- Then that turned out to be a cover.

It's... it's complicated.

Ugh. I know the feeling.

Good boy. Now just look at me.

No, no, no. Stay right there.

Don't look at that guy. No, no, no.

Okay, we're gonna try this again.

We're gonna try this
again, it's all good.

Just look at me. No, no, at me.

Look at, you got to look at me.

At, uh, no. Not over
there, not at that guy.

Okay, if you c...

You could always dangle a
treat in front the camera.

That'll get his attention.

- All right.
- Yeah.

All right.

All right.

- Hey, hey.
- Yeah. See?

Definitely Insta-worthy.

Cute dog.

Who's he belong to?

Nobody knows.

Which is why I'm taking his picture.

Thought I'd put it up on
the missing persons site.

So, uh...

how's it going over there with Mr. I.T.?

Good.

It's nice talking to somebody
who knows the difference between

MINT and UBUNTU, you know?

Fresh breath is important.

Those are operating systems.

I knew that.

You know, if you can't find the owner,

you could always give the dog
to Mac as a birthday present.

Sad to say that even
this fluffy little face

couldn't get Mac to break
his birthday boycott.

What's his deal?

Mac loves a good party.

Why is he so anti-birthday?

Okay. Mac doesn't like to
talk about it, all right?

But he wasn't always anti-birthday.

He used to love his birthday.

Then he turned ten.

His mom had passed away, and his
dad was away on a business trip,

so his grandfather
was throwing the party.

And Mac was actually having fun.

He was convinced that his dad

was gonna come home and surprise him

with some amazing gift.

But... after the cake was eaten
and the presents were opened...

Mac's grandfather had to sit him
down and tell him that his dad

wasn't on a business trip.

He left and he wasn't coming back.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Kinda hard to celebrate after that.

Multiple distinct
hits on the other side.

- I-I think I found them.
- Okay. I'm on my way.

Yeah, well, take your time.

I'm looking at a wall of
concrete and steel beams.

I don't suppose you know
how to make a jackhammer.

I mean, I do... but for that
I'd need a lawnmower engine,

and a tank of compressed gas.

Uh, I was, uh, I was just kinda kidding.

Explosives are just as risky.

Guess I'm just gonna have to find
a way to raise these giant beams.

Uh... how?

Don't know. Still haven't
figured that one out, yet.

Hey, I got mercs. They're in the vault.

How are they gonna get
in? The power's out.

Yeah? Well, trust me.
That's not stopping them.

Oh, man. They have a
hostage. That ain't good.

I'm on my way.

Hey, fellas. How's it
going? Everything cool?

Yeah, don't touch that, little man.

It's a bad health choice. Now, I really,

really, really want to
do this the easy way.

I'm a pretty cool guy.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, no, no.

Now listen.

We're all gonna have to drop our guns.

We're gonna have to let the hostage go.

And we're gonna have to
come to an agreement that...

you're all under arrest.

Okay.

I'm going in.

Whoa.

Aftershock!

Hey!

I'm through, but the
wall just collapsed.

Help!

Help me! Help me!

Hi. I'm, uh...

I'm here to save you?

- Please, help me. Help me.
- The rope!

Grab it!

I can't, I can't.

- Yes, you can!
- I can't. I can't!

Okay, hang on.

- Where are you going?
- Don't worry, big daddy.

I'm coming to get you.

Kono.

I-I-I'm here. I'm good.

How are you? The scientists?

Yeah. We are, uh, we're good.

All things considered.

Uh...

I don't think I can get through.

The aftershock shifted things.

There's no telling
when another might hit,

so find your way to the surface.

We'll, uh, we'll find our way up.

All right, a hui hou, MacGyver.

God, it's gorgeous out here.

Won't be so gorgeous if you fall 40 feet

and slam into the pavement.

Help me.

Please.

You're okay, you're
okay. I'm right here.

I can't do it, I can't do it.

I got you.

I got you, I got you.

Okay, how is everybody doing?

Fine... I guess.

But we'd be a lot better if we knew

how we were getting out of here,

so your way in...

Was a bit of a one-way ticket.

Don't worry. I'm good at finding
my way out of tight spots.

You don't think we've
already tried everything?

I mean, you're looking at 15 PhDs.

I know. You work for DARPA.

What are you gonna think of
that we didn't already try?

I don't know.

I haven't thought of it yet.

- Lab's this way, yeah?
- Yeah.

So...

can you, uh, can you tell
if anything's missing?

All of my work's still here.

But I just head one department.

I don't know what else
was being kept here.

Okay, so either they
left here empty-handed,

or they knew exactly what
they wanted and grabbed that.

Plenty of chemicals,

but we can't risk blasting our way out.

Any chance your air ducts are...

12 inches wide. Not even a
child could fit through them.

We tried already.

- There's an elevator.
- An elevator shaft.

Power's out. There's
no way to call the car.

Ah. Good news.

The car is below us.

Don't see how that's good news.

Well, 'cause if it was above
us, then my plan wouldn't work.

You have a plan?

I have half of one, which
is pretty good for me.

This is an ascender rig.

We'll lash these wires to
the elevator lift cables,

and... we'll go up one at a time.

It'll be just like rock climbing.

Except greasier, darker,

and our lives depend on it.

So... who's first?

I've done a few climbs at Kilauea Iki.

I can tie us off at the top.

That's perfect.

When you get to the lobby floor,

pry the doors open just like I did,

then yell down.

I guess Riley got the cell network up.

Hi, Mac. Glad to see you didn't
get crushed by the building.

And I'm glad to see you
haven't fallen off of it.

Oh, I tried.

So did you find the other scientists?

Yeah, we're heading up the
elevator up now... kind of.

Did you turn a desk lamp into
a hover board or something?

You know what? D-Don't answer that.

Just hand me the
highest-ranking scientist

you got there for a tic, will ya?

Emily Gutierrez, Project Manager.

- How can I help?
- Hi, Emily.

We're gonna play a little game, okay?

It's called "Tell Jack What's Missing."

You got it?

Uh...

everything looks like

where it's supposed to b...

- Oh, God.
- What?

Project 23.

It's gone.

It's a "smart bullet," next
generation in ammunition.

The scientist who
designed these bullets said

that they are laser-guided, they
can change course mid-flight,

and that they have over 99% accuracy.

I read a DoD brief on these...
they're supposed to turn

even a first-time shooter
into an expert marksman.

And now these mercenaries
have the prototype.

Actually, they have a
box of 20 prototypes,

and they only need one to
back-engineer the technology

and create an endless supply.

So if we don't get
these prototypes back,

we're facing an army of snipers

that never miss?

Man, I don't like anything about this.

I don't like quakes, I don't like mercs,

and I damn sure don't
like no magic bullets.

Yeah, well, we got to stop them

- from getting this ammo off the island.
- It's not gonna be easy, Mac...

the city's in chaos,

and most of the roads
are shut down, man,

and these mercs have a big head start.

Then I guess you guys better
get your asses in gear.

Okay.

Yes, ma'am.

Okay, Riley, you got
the bird's-eye view.

What do you see?

Uh, not including you guys,

I got nine vehicles in motion near Hilo.

Five are FEMA, three are police,

one's an unmarked panel van headed east.

Ding-ding, we got ourselves a winner.

That's got to be the mercs right there.

Looks like they're
heading for the beach.

And they got a speedboat
waiting for them.

Guys, you better hurry...
you have vog rolling in.

Vog? Is that a "video blog"?

No. It's like smog from a volcano.

- Oh, that's cool.
- No, it's not... 'cause if the mercs

make it off the Island,
it'll be nearly impossible

to track them using even satellites.

That-that's not cool. How
far ahead are they, Riley?

A lot. But the road
they're on is washed out,

which is slowing them down.

I found a shortcut that
could help you guys catch up.

- Take your next left.
- Yeah, I see it.

And go faster. Much faster.

Cover! Cover!

Get down!

Hey. You all right?

My vest stopped it.

Hey, thanks. I owe you one.

They still got 19 bullets left.

You might have a chance to pay her back.

Yeah, with that kind of accuracy,

odds are the next one's
gonna be a headshot.

So you better think of
something, Mac. Right now.

- Let's go, baby.
- Chin, the laser sight on your gun,

- could I borrow it?
- Just the sight, not the gun?

I've never been a big fan
of guns, but I love lasers.

- All right.
- Hurry up, Mac.

I'm running out of lead, here.

Lasers are stronger
than we want them to be,

so in order to limit their output,

manufacturers add a potentiometer.

If I can burn that out...

There goes my warranty.

Well, yes, but we get...

- You get a stronger laser.
- Exactly.

And if those DARPA bullets
follow the biggest beam...

And to trick it into hitting
something that ain't us.

I love it... outsmarting robo-bullets.

Let's do it, baby. Come on, go.

For the plan to work, I need
the sniper to take a shot at us.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to bait
that sniper into shooting at me.

What? Well, hey, come on, I'll do it.

- Bait's my middle name. Let's go.
- No.

It's gonna be me.

- You can aim better than I can.
- Yeah, but, Mac...

I don't even know if this
plan's gonna work. Sorry. Go!

Aloha, you bastards!

Well, that-that does
mean good-bye, right?

I wasn't asking you. Shut up.

So, it's official.

All rescue teams reported
in. Hilo's been cleared.

- Lots of injuries with zero fatalities.
- Nice.

So you guys can head home

knowing you helped save
a lot of people's lives.

So, where is this, uh,
Phoenix Foundation anyway?

- Los Angeles.
- No, no, no. I need an exact address.

I want to know where to send
the bill for this laser sight.

You know, I actually could fix this

with a couple resistors
and some chewing gum.

- Oh, here we go.
- Uh-huh.

Why did I ask?

But you do have us looking
at things a new way, MacGyver.

Hey, must be going around,

'cause you guys got me doing the same.

Me, too. And, hey, do me a favor...
next time you see McGarrett,

tell him he's a wimpy little water baby.

Gladly.

You really want us to tell him that?

Seriously. Deltas and SEALs
have this longstanding rivalry.

You know what? I'll tell him myself.

Besides, you guys already know

what a big crybaby he is, right?

You do know. Hey.

- You're a good man. Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Nice meeting you.
- Thank you.

- Really.
- Yeah.

- We should hug.
- Jack.

- Aloha.
- Pleasure.

- Nice to meet you.
- Take care.

Oh, hey... I want that back.

You got it.

Ooh.

You know, the world's a little bit
brighter place with those two in it.

Sure is.

And, you know... I've been thinking.

Uh-oh.

After talking to Kono

and letting a sniper shoot a
laser-guided super bullet at my face,

that maybe you're right.

- I'm sorry, may-maybe I'm what?
- You're right.

Ah, there it is... my
favorite two words. Ah.

I know I'm gonna regret
this, but I think...

you should throw me a birthday party.

Oh, yes. There it is.

- Nothing too drastic, though.
- No, no, no.

It'll-it'll be classy, dignified

and intimate.

Isn't that what you were
gonna name your autobiography?

It still is, it's also the way

I'll describe your birthday party.

Happy birthday, buddy.

Thanks.

You know, I'd say I love you, but...

I don't do that stuff.

Yeah, I know you don't, Jack.

Nice party mix, Jack.

Next time, I deejay.

Great party, Mac.

- Glad you let Jack talk you into it.
- Thanks.

And don't... don't give
him too much credit.

The earthquake had a lot to do with it.

Mm.

Happy birthday, man.

What is it?

A bunch of metal doodads
I found at a yard sale.

Yeah, looked like
something you'd want for...

- something.
- No, I probably will use 'em.

You still bummed about having
to leave the dog behind?

Nah.

I'm thrilled we found his owner.

You know, I wasn't
planning on keeping him,

naming him Chewbacca,

buying him a bunch of toys and sweaters,

letting him sleep next to me in bed,

building a life with my adorable
little Wookie pal. I mean, that...

that would just be silly.

I'm sorry you lost your dog, Bozer.

Yeah, but at least the owner promised

to let me video chat with him regularly.

All right.

Hold up. The dude
already has your number?

You gave him all ten digits

at the same time?

I mean, we scratch-built
an ad hoc phone network

and had to test it by making calls.

Besides, he's a nice guy.

If I'm being honest...

it's not the dog I'm upset about.

I know, pal.

I know.

Hey, there she is.

Come here for a second.

Matty, I got you a little something.

What is it?

Yeah, it's a, uh, souvenir
from Hawaii. You want?

- Um...
- Of course you do.

Ta-da.

Coconut bra? Seriously?

Do I need to remind you
where the HR offices are?

All right.

Who's ready for some of
my world-famous shrimp?

How 'bout you, boss lady?

You're a little far
from home, aren't you?

Well, actually, Mr. Dalton,

he promised me an exclusive
contract at your workplace

if I catered for Mac's birthday.

Oh, he did? You cheap bastard.

- She loves me.
- It's getting cold.

Here you go, try a piece,
you won't regret it.

Here you go, get in there.

Sorry. Sor...

Yeah, get in there.

Okay, that's the most delicious
thing I've ever tasted.

Everybody, a little announcement.

Thanks for comin'. Uh, we know how weird

Mac is about birthdays.

Then again, he's a little
weird about everything.

So, instead of celebrating
him with the same old...

song...

Riley, Bozer, hit it.

Happy birthday!

- Happy birthday!
- Ah, yeah.

Happy birthday, man.

- Happy birthday, buddy.
- Thanks, man.