All language subtitles for HouseFull - DVDRip - XviD - 1CDRip - [DDR]

Players win.
- Yeah!

Bad night.

48..
- That's mine. - Yeah!

Yes!

Send in the cooler.

Oh..
- Security. Security. - Yes.

All the air conditioners
in the casino are on..

..yet the boss has ordered
for a cooler on the phone.

This isn't a cooler for
cooling down the place.

A cooler is a man who is
summoned by the casino..

..when the casino is
losing and people are winning.

ls he a player?
- He's no player.

He's jinxed.
Unfortunate. He is bad-luck.

Just watch.

As soon as he enters..

..and as he passes by every table..

..winning streaks will
turn to losing streaks.

Their happiness will
turn to sorrow.

And our casino will
start winning again.

He's coming.
- Oh God. ls he such a bad omen?

Notjust bad, he's the
worst kind of bad luck ever.

Come on.

''His fate is always making him cry.''

''There's no way he can
get rid of his bad luck.''

''Life doesn't bestow
him with anything.''

''lnstead it keeps
taking things away.''

''He's such bad-luck.''

''He's such bad-luck.''

''You'd never have come
across a loser like him.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a.. such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a.. such a loser.''

Oh no..

''Friday the 13th is a bad omen.''

''But it's no match
for his birthday.''

''He's jinxed, that's his fate.''

''He's the worst kind of bad luck.''

''He's such bad-luck.''

''He's such bad-luck.''

''You'd never have come
across a loser like him.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a.. such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a.. such a loser.''

Aarush, l don't understand.

Why do you look so upset
whenever you come to the casino?

People lose every time l come here.

And l realise l'm such a loser.

Why don't you take up a job?

Because where ever l take up a job..

..l get fired
because of my ominous fate.

But the casino is the only place..

..where l get paid for my bad luck.

How long will this continue?

That's it! Today's the last day.

After today everything will change.
- How is that?

Because it's my destiny..

The day l marry my true love..

..good fortune will
smile upon me again.

Look. And that day isn't far.

l'm going to propose to Puja.

Puja, will you marry me?

No, l cannot marry you.

Why? What's wrong with me?
- Everything.

Since you've come into my
life everything has gone wrong.

l've met with an accident six times.

l've lost my job.

l've lost my friends.

And you know what
happened yesterday.

l lost some of my hair as well.

Listen, Aarush, you're very sweet.

But you're jinxed.

When l told my brother about you..

..he said it as well, that
a man who makes a living..

..from his bad-luck
can't be good for me.

And anyway, he has finalised
my marriage with someone else.

''He keeps wishing for true love.''

''lnstead, life gives him nothing.''

''He asks a girl,
''marry me, my baby.''

''She replies,
over my dead body, maybe.''

''He's such bad-luck.''

''He's such bad-luck.''

''You'd never have come
across a loser like him.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a.. such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a.. such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a.. such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a.. such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

Puja. Puja.

Puja.

Puja, open the door.

Puja..

Stay away from my sister, get it.

Bloody loser.

''Loser.''

Aarush.

Brother, you're leaving?

Yes.

l think Macau wasn't lucky for you.

The entire world is unlucky for me.

Where will you go?

There's only one man in the world..

..who doesn't think that l'm a jinx.

We grew up together in London,
worked together in London.

He always thought it
was his good fortune

..to be the best friend of
an unfortunate man like me.

l'm going back to him.

l'm going back home.
l'm going to London.

1 7, everybody's a winner.

Stop checking him out.
- He's cute.

You will never change.

Whatever, l'm off now.
- Off?

Yeah. l need to look after my baby.
- Good luck.

Ladies and gentlemen,
most of you know me.

l'm Kishore Samtani, the
owner of this fabulous casino.

And now l'm going to speak in Hindi.

Because whenever l speak in Hindi,
you don't understand.

And you clap even when l abuse you.

For 200 years,
you looted my country.

So l came to London
and opened this casino..

..to loot you scoundrels.
Clap, applause, applause.

Applause.. l love you, guys.

Boys and girls, the
next drink is on me.

To celebrate the
second anniversary..

..of my star dealer,
Babu Rao to Hetal.

All the drinks are on me.
Drink, play, and lose.

Thank you.
- For what?

For being my wife.

Your father hasn't spoken to you..

..for the past two
years because of me.

Happy anniversary.
- To you too.

l love you. l love you.

l love you so much.
- Enough dear, l love you too.

What's up, Bob?
- Hey. Hey, Bob.

Hey.
- Come join us.

Me, dance with you?

No way, guys.

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight.
- See you later.

l love you.
- Okay, l love you too. That's it.

l love you. l love you.

My love. l here.

l love you.

Hi, Prada, my love.

l love you.
- l love you.

l love you.

Prada.
- l love you too Prada.

l love you.. For the parrot..
What about me?

Let me go.
- How can l let you go?

We've been married for two years.

Shameless.

There's a surprise for you,
upstairs.

Surprise. l love surprises.

So come up after a short while.
- Why later? Why later?

Because soon Victoria's
secret won't be a secret anymore.

Victoria!

Secrets!

Lingerie!

Hey, why dancing? Open my cage once,
l'll come and hit you.

My cutie pie.

Under the blanket.. ls my wife.

Come on, you! Come out.

l'm your husband,
and you're my wife.

You've worn lingerie for me.

And l'll gift you a Cartier
watch for your slender wrist

And a Gucci bag for
your arms to carry.

And for your lovely cheeks,
a Gillette razor.

Gillette razor?

You!

Who is he?
- Hetal, this is my friend Aarush.

Hello.

Aarush, this is my wife Hetal.

What is he doing in our bed?

Aarush, close your eyes.

Close your eyes and not mine.
- Sorry.

What's he doing in our bed?
- Sorry baby. Baby.

Why is it so quiet?

Bob, did your wife go inside?

Did your wife go inside?
- No, she went out.

Thank God.

She went out the window.
- Oh God. - Come on, hurry up.

Baby, he's my best friend.
- Friend!

Friends don't come
uninvited like this.

And even if they do, they
don't barge inside the house.

And even if they do barge in
they don't go sleep on the bed.

Please, Hetal, l know
he's slightly stupid.

But he's a really sweet guy.

He's simple, has a heart of gold.

lt's just a matter of..
one or two days.

Just for..

l've cleaned up the broken windows..

..and cleared up all the mess. l..
- He..

Sister-in-law, l hope
you're not hurt too bad..

Actually, you must be thinking
''What kind of a friend is he..''

''..that he's dropped in uninvited?''

Sister-in-law, Bob and
l are childhood buddies

l can stay away from him for years.

But when l miss him l can't
stay away even for a second.

l just packed my Bags
and came here..

..for two-three weeks.

So that l can muster
up the courage..

..to handle life for
another two-three years.

l just want to be with him.

For two-three weeks?

Yes, Sister-in-law,
for two to three weeks.

Two.. th-th-three..

You haven't stopped stammering yet?

You know, Sister-in-law
he starts stammering..

..whenever he's stressed out.

And today..

ls there a problem?

l'm going to sleep. Okay?

Did your wife feel bad?

No.

Don't be silly.

Are you sure it's okay
if l stay here?

Of course.

This is your house.

ls two-three weeks too long?
- No.

lt's too little.

Baby. Baby, l'm damn
sorry for whatever happened.

Baby, so where were we?

You were on top of him
without your clothes on.

And l was right in front of
him without my clothes on.

Baby.. okay.

Where are baby's sweet hands?

Where are they? Where are they?

Oh, l found them.

Where are baby's lovely eyes?
Where are they? Show.

There they are.

Where are baby's kissable lips?

Where is the bathroom?

Where is the bathroom?

What.. are you doing here?

l was looking for the
bathroom downstairs.

l couldn't find it.

Where is the bathroom?
l need to go to the bathroom.

Thank you.

So, where were we?

Aarush.

l think he's cleaning the house.

To.. help you.

He's.. just trying to..
make up for yesterday.

That's really sweet of him.

l told you.

He's been very sweet,
since childhood.

Help! l don't want to die so soon.

Parrots life is in danger!
Parrots life is in danger!

Aarush.

Aarush. Aarush.

What have you done?

Stop this thing.

Plug.

What have you done to my house?

What have you done?

ls this what you call cleaning?

Are you crazy?

Oh my..

Prada.

Where is my Prada?

Prada, my love.

Where is Prada?

Get out!

Get out of my house!

Both of you!

What's your problem, Bob?

You want to compete with me?

You're making faces at me.

You want to fight me?

Got some new moves?

Show me what you got.

What happened?

Sorry.

You had an argument with Babu Rao.

You shouldn't argue
about such petty things.

Do you know how difficult it is to
find a nice lndian boy in England?

What if you lose him?

Stupid.

Actually, it's a very good idea.

You better leave him.

As it is, l'm looking for a
boy like him for my daughter.

l'll get Devika married
to Babu Rao.

She'll be extremely
happy with Babu Rao.

lf she's happy, it'll make me happy.

you know, for a father
there is no greaterjoy..

..than seeing his daughter happy.

l love my daughter. Really.

Clean it properly.

Clean it properly.

lt's a Bentley. Bentley.

Get to work.

What is this?

This is Batuk Patel
Farsan (Brand of snacks).

People don'tjust buy them.

They buy it because they
see my photo on the packet.

Get to work, come on.

Pound it properly!
Pound it properly!

Get to the side.

Greetings, sir.
- Yes, greetings.

Won't you greet me?

How else will you afford your meal?

lt's because of me.

Come on, get to work.

Stupid people.

Batuk Patel Pareshan,
talk after the beep.

Papa. How are you?

Are you fine?

Don't worry about me, Papa.

l'm absolutely fine.

Bob is a very nice guy, Papa.

He has opened three
new factories this year.

Made a profit of
1000 crores this year.

We have a big house,
servants at our disposal.

l miss you a lot, Papa.

Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!

Mummy! Why are you hitting me?

Mummy! Why are you hitting me?

You idiot.
- Mummy! Why are you hitting me?

Why am l hitting you? You fool,
when will you learn?

No matter how big a house you have..

..it never becomes a home
until you have a family.

We have a family.

You, me, the buffaloes, the
Bentley car.. That's family.

You call this family?
You call this family?

And what about my Hetal?

She's been calling
for the last two years.

''Papa, forgive me, forgive me.''

And you don't forgive her.

You don't even know what
your son-in-law looks like.

l had found a
suitable husband for her.

Ahmedabad's snacks king,
Ramesh Soni.

You know, he owns the
biggest bungalow in Ahmedabad.

And Hetal, she went
to London to study.

And she got married to
that stammering waiter.

l will never forgive her.

Are you a father
or an estate agent?

Harping about bungalows.
You were born in a ghetto.

You can tie me up. Skin me alive.

Throw me into the ocean.

But l will never
forgive her or her husband.

You won't forgive her?
- No.

You won't forgive her?
- No. No, no.

Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!
- You idiot.

What are you watching?
Get back to your work.

Come on, get back to you work.
This is their daily episode.

l don't care
if he's your best friend.

Do whatever you want to.

lf you don't throw him
out of the house today..

l don't believe this.

l know you can't forgive me.
You have Bob, your own family

But, for a while, l forgot
that all l had was my bad luck.

l'm sorry.

Look after yourself, okay.

l'm leaving.

Aarush.

Unfortunate is someone
who doesn't have a family.

l am the one who has forgotten
how to behave around family..

lf you leave today, Aarush..

..we'll be the unfortunate ones.

Please, don't go.

l forgot to tell you something.
- What? - What?

l've brought Prada.
- What?

Yes.
- My Prada?

Yes.
- Where? - He's inside.

Prada.

Where is my Prada?

Are you ready?
- Yes. - Are you ready?

Yes, come on.

Okay. Count.
- Count.

Three.. two.. one..
- Yes.

Prada. Prada. Hurry up.

Ladies and gentlemen,
l present Prada.

Prada was a parrot. This is a..

Yes, this was the only animal
available by the name of Prada.

So l got this.
- Where did you get him from?

From the 'Sher Bazaar'
(Tiger market).

Stay.. stay away.

He'll devour you.
- No, he won't.

He's a vegetarian.

Look..

No need to be scared.

Sister-in-law, come here.

Stay away. Stay away.

Come, Sister-in-law,
don't be.. l assure you.

Just a minute,
let me close the door.

Or else it might get
scared and run out.

Don't close it.
- No! No!

You'll be absolutely alright.

Open the door.

Listen to me. Listen to me.

You'll be absolutely fine.

We have to befriend him.
- l don't want to befriend him.

We have to befriend him.

He's not worth enmity.

To hell with friendship!

Come sister-in-law..
- l don't want to befriend him.

Come on. You'll be absolutely fine.
- Come on.

Sit. Sit.
- No..

You'll be absolutely fine.

You'll be absolutely fine.

Prada, read out a poem. Quickly.

Not the small one, the big one.

Loudly.

There's no need to scream.

Listen to me. Listen to me.

Listen to me.

Listen to me.

Listen to me.

Be quiet or you'll scare him.
Tigerrrrrrrrrrr..

You were born and
brought up in London..

..makes sense if you
marry a girl from here.

l think it's a good idea.

Arrange marriage with
your boss's daughter?

l don't think it's a good idea.

Come on, let's go home. - What?
- No, Aarush. - Let's go home.

Aarush.

Who is asking you to get married?
- At least meet her. - Yes.

And we're your family, isn't it?
- Yes.

So trust us. - All the girls
you loved broke your heart.

What was the use?
Devika is a very nice girl. - Yeah.

Your life will be set.

Hi, boys.
- Hello.

Hi, sir.
- He's your boss? - Yes.

Come.

Have some lovely chicken wings.
- Okay.

Chicken wings, for you.
Chicken wings. - No thanks.

Sir, l'm a vegetarian.

Vegetarian?
What are you doing here?

Sit outside and eat with my driver.
- No..

Don't waste my money in
a very expensive place.

Sir, he's Aarush.

Didn't l tell you? For Devika.

My future son-in-law?
- Yes.

And a vegetarian.
- l'm fasting today.

Fasting?
- Yes.

Wow. Traditional lndian values.

l like the boy already.
- Very good.

Good boy. Good boy.

Would you like fritters?

Sir, where's Devika?
- Devika.

There she is.

The one in the golden dress.

She's Devika?

That's some old hag.

There's my beautiful daughter.

Come, my darling. Come, come.

Hi.
- Hello, my love. How are you?

Hi, Devika.
- Hi.

And that's Aarush.

Hello.
- Hello.

Why are you two greeting
each other like old people?

Shake hands, come on.

Come on, come on.

You people go and chat.

Get to know each other.
l like him.

He's a traditional lndian boy.

Come along.
- You go.

Come.
- Excuse me.

One champagne bottle please, quick.

Would you like to eat anything?
Chicken wings, or anything else..

Chicken?
- Yes.

No, today is Tuesday.

You're fasting as well.

You don't seem like
you've been raised in London.

What do you mean?

l mean this
traditional attire, the bangles.

A 'Bindi' (Forehead dot)
would've done the trick.

Why not? A real woman is
always covered from head to toe.

You have such beautiful thoughts.

Do you believe in arranged
marriages and not love marriages?

l believe in love,
but after marriage.

l believe that God has
made a match for everyone.

And we'll surely meet
someone who'll change our fate.

You're so sweet.
- You too.

What have you decided?

Should l consider it to be a yes?

Oh..
- Consider it to be.

They're blushing.
That means it's a yes.

Wonderful! Wonderful!

Here, have chips.

Why chips?

lt's Tuesday.

Vegetarian couple. Vegetarian.

Have some chips.

Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Congratulations, sir.

Today, thanks to the both of you
an unlucky man's fate has changed.

You know, Son-in-law,
you're a very lucky man

Your fate is going to thus change

Now Devika is yours.

So are her
responsibilities and her happiness.

And so is her 500 million pounds.

Have fun, sonny.

Bye. Bye.

Mamma mia.

Al Pacino. Bonjour.

Welcome, welcome, senor.

Welcome, senorita.
Welcome to Puglia.

The most beautiful, the most
romantic place in the world.

For the moment
our booking is full.

Your reservation
has been cancelled.

Please go back.

Go back. Gracias.

But we got the
booking confirmation.

l'm joking.

Mamma mia.

Come on.

Alora! Alora!

Let me introduce myself.

l'm the owner of this hotel.

My name is, Aakhri Pasta.

Aakhri Pasta, what
kind of a name is that?

Pasta is my surname.

My father was an ltalian.
His name was Spaghetti Pasta.

My mother was an lndian.

Her name was
'Sevaiyyan' (Vermicelli) Pasta.

Sevaiyyan Pasta.

And l'm this family's Aakhri Pasta.

Mamma mia.

Oh, what a beautiful bride.

Let me welcome the bride. Welcome.

And now for the big smooch.

No, no, no.. no smooch.

l'm joking.

You wear this yourself.

Come on, let's go.

Your luggage has
been taken to your room.

Thank you.
- Alora.

l've booked two
different rooms for you both..

..on different floors.

Hey, we're on our honeymoon here.

l'm joking.

Where do you hail from?

Hey, you were speaking
in ltalian a minute ago.

How are you speaking like a
Pathan now? - l was born in Kabul.

Kabul?
- l'm joking.

There's my hotel, look.
- Where?

What are you doing,
you idiot. Let go off me!

Hey!

Mama mia.

Such a beautiful bride.

l am only welcoming her.
- Okay.

This is the best
honeymoon suite of our hotel.

Your luggage is already here.

Okay.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Sorry. Sorry. Just a second.

What's this urn doing here?

This is our ancestral urn.

My mother tipped it over with her
foot and began her married life.

Devika, it's your turn now.

Okay.

Now kick it.

My ancestral urn.

My..

l'm sorry, but you asked me
to do it.

But not like a football.

You break my glass.

l'm sorry.

lt's okay.

Go and get ready.

Okay. - Okay, senor Aarush.
All the best for your honeymoon.

You have a very beautiful wife.

Thank you.
- This room.. sound proof.

Thank you very much.
- lf you want anything, just call.

Thank you. Thank you.

Even l'll get ready.

Fortune will smile on me again.

After tonight l won't
be jinxed any longer.

Hi, Devika.

Hello, hello.. no..

Hi.

Why am l doing 'Kapalbharti' (Yoga)?

Hi, l'm all set.

l know what to do on
a honeymoon night.

But how to do it?

l don't know what to do.

So what?

She'll teach me.

She'll tell me.

l don't know what to do.

She'll teach me.

l'll learn it.

l'll learn everything.

EROS

''Slowly.''

''Gradually.''

''Come into my arms.''

''Don't make me so restless.''

''Don't torment me like this.''

''Don't worry at all.''

''Look in to my eyes.''

''l'll show you heaven.''

''l don't know what to do.''

''l don't know what to do.''

''God, what do l do?''

''l don't know what to do.''

''l don't know what to do.''

''God, what do l do?''

''l don't know how.''

''l don't know why.''

''Slowly.''

''Gradually.''

''Untangle my tresses.''

''l can't endure the distance.''

''Don't try to confuse me.''

''l'll spread my intoxication.''

''lt'll be so much fun.''

''l'll show you heaven.''

''l don't know what to do.''

''l don't know what to do.''

''God, what do l do?''

''l don't know what to do.''

''l don't know what to do.''

''God, what do l do?''

''l'm scared. l'm frightened.''

''What to do?''

''l'm unfamiliar with these ways.''

''How can l take such a huge step?''

''Don't worry at all.''

''Look into my eyes.''

''l'll show you heaven.''

''l don't know what to do.''

''l don't know what to do.''

''God, what do l do?''

''l don't know what to do.''

''l don't know what to do.''

''God, what do l do?''

''What to do?''

''What to do?''

lt was just a dream.

What are you doing here?

l brought you breakfast in bed.

Eat, eat. Biscuit,
very tasty. l promise you.

Where's my wife? Devika.

Devi.. - Your wife Maybe,
your wife went to the beach.

Have the biscuit.
- On the beach? Let me see.

l'm coming. l'm coming.
l'm coming to help.

Your wife must've gone out shopping.

l found your wife.

Where? Where is she?
- l found her in a bikini.

You're justjoking.
- l'm notjoking.

A real woman is always
covered from head to toe.'

A real woman..
covered from head to toe?

She hasn't done anything in these.

Your wife is with
someone else on your honeymoon.

God is playing a joke on you.

Bad-luck boy.

Devika.
- Aarush.

l'm sorry.. This is Benny.

The man l love.

But.. why did you marry me?

Because papa was adamant on
getting me married to an lndian boy.

l would've got my share of the
property on only one condition.

lf l marry an lndian boy.

He showed me to at
least 22 lndian boys.

l found you the
sweetest of them all.

l thought you'd
understand if l spoke to you.

Aarush, please don't cry.

l'm very sorry.

You could've explained
this before the wedding.

l'm sorry, but we
couldn't take a chance.

What.. what will l do here?

Wait here for two weeks.

Legally, my share of the property
will be transferred in my name..

..and l will divorce you.

lf you want, l can even
give you a million pounds..

..and we can sort it out that way.

l'm sorry.

But.. we're so in love.

Aarush, please..
l didn't have any other option.

l understand, l understand.

Thank you so much,
Aarush, thank you.

Okay.

Aarush, you're the
sweetest man l know.

''Look at his wife.''

''She made his life a mess.''

''The matter got worse.''

''His world was destroyed
before he was settled''

''He's such bad-luck.''

''He's such bad-luck.''

''You'd never have come
across a loser like him.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a.. such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.''

''He's such a.. such a loser.''

''He's such a loser.'' What a loser.''
- Oh God.

Why did you play such a game with me?

My bad luck life is
in your hands.

l want to die.

God, all l asked you
for was true love.

But all you gave me was bad luck.

Bad luck.

You turned me into a jinx.

l'm coming to You.

l'm coming. l'm coming. l'm coming.

Oh God, he's not breathing.

What the hell!

Pervert.

l'm trying to save you
and you're kissing me.

Sick.

Maria baby, l'll see you later in 3D.
- 3D?

3D, my room number.

This drink is free. l'm joking.

Come on, go.

Pasta, give me a cold drink,
my head is fuming.

Sandy baby, why are you so angry?
Have a cold drink.

l just saved a man from drowning.

And just when l was
giving him mouth-to-mouth..

..do you know what he did?
- What?

He kissed me.
- That's terrible.

Exactly.
- No.

Someone drowning right in front of
my hotel and l don't know about it.

That is terrible.

l would've called
the media, the press.

My hotel would've got publicity.

My hotel would've become the
most famous hotel in ltaly.

Pasta, that's not funny.
- Come on.

Oh, my God, Pasta.

That's him. Disgusting pervert.

That man wearing the tie.

He's not a pervert.

He's an unfortunate man.

His life is filled with tragedy.

No love, no amore.

Do you know what happened with him?
- No.

On the night of his honeymoon,
his wife left him.

Obviously, who would
live with such a pervert?

No, no. His wife left him forever.

She passed away.

She's dead.

Dead and gone. His wife is dead.

Oh God, Pasta,
and l slapped that man.

l'm joking.

No, l'm here to say sorry.

Why are you apologizing?

l should be saying sorry.

And if you're apologizing for
that delicate slap please don't.

Because fate has
entitled me to a lot more.

l know.
- l know?

Yes, Aakhri Pasta told
me about the tragedy..

Then the whole of ltaly might know..

..why l was trying
to commit suicide.

Don't make such a mistake.

You never know that your
future might be much better..

..than your present.

You talk very sweetly.
- Thank you.

By the way, can l say
another sweet thing? - Yes.

Will you have lunch
with me tomorrow?

lt's my way of saying sorry.

Yes. My name is Aarush.

And l am Saundarya Bhagyalaxmi
Venkateshwari Basappa Rao.

ls that your name alone or
that of the entire village?

You can call me Sandy.

Sandy.

Very cute name.
- Thank you.

So.. we'll meet tomorrow.
- Yes, we'll meet tomorrow.

Bye.

Oh, so you live in London?

Who all are there in your family?
- No one.

l'm all alone.

Your parents?

When l was just a month old my
father was diagnosed with cancer.

God, l'm so sorry.
- No, no, it isn't like that.

After the diagnosis we learnt
that he doesn't have cancer..

..he had diabetes

Oh God. Thank God,
it was just diabetes.

My mummy was happy just like that.

She fed him sweets and my
father passed away right there.

My mother, she
couldn't endure this shock.

And she suffered a heart attack.

And she passed away as well.

ln two and a half
minutes flat l was orphaned.

l'm really sorry.

Even l was born in London.

..but my brother is based in lndia.

He's the head of the
lndian Military lntelligence.

Any my sister, she's married.

My phone!

The monkey took away my phone.

l'll get it back, you don't worry.
- Okay.

Monkey. Monkey.

Okay, monkey.
- He'll bite.

You don't worry.

lf he's ltalian then
l'm an lndian.

Be careful.

Give the phone back..
Go and stand there.

Don't come here.

Give the phone back.. Please.

Naughty monkey.

Who will you call, dear?

Give the phone back

Why are you insulting me?

Give the phone back.
l want to impress her.

Look, you've already
slapped me twice.

Give the phone back

Go. Go for it.

Thank you so much.
l don't believe this.

Here's your phone.

l won against the ltalian monkey.

Thank you.
- Kissie..

Come on, let's see who
can walk the bed of fire..

..for this rare orchid.

Just like Julius
Caesar did for Cleopatra.

ls there anyone who can
walk on this bed of fire?

Come on, please. l beg you.

That's such a rare wild flower.

lt's beautiful.

l love it.

But who will walk on the
bed of fire for it? Come on.

Let's go.

This man walking on fire is Aarush.

Aarush.

Bob, l'm in love.
- Boss, Am l good or what?

l've truly fallen in love for the
first time. - Am l good or what?

l'm so happy.
- Am l good or what?

And, Devika?

Devika is in love as well.

Am l good or what?

But l'm not in love with Devika.
- Am l..

What? And you?

l'm in love with someone else?

You and Devika went on your
honeymoon, isn't it? - Yes.

And you both fell in love.
- Yes.

But not with each other.
- No.

l'll surely lose my job.
- Am l good or what?

l'm in love. Bob, l'm in love.

You come to ltaly, Bob.
Come soon!

You both are very strange.

l called you once
and you both came here.

l'll get drinks for all of you.
- Okay.

Yes.

Kids you know..
They're all having a ball here.

You two must've supported
him a lot, isn't it?

After his wife's death.

Wife's death.
- D-d-d- eath?

D.. D.. drinks.

This is for you. This is for you.

And this one with the
blue umbrella is for you.

And this orange one is mine.
- Thank you.

Cheers.
- Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers.

He lied to her.
- Aarush never lies.

But he must have said
it to win Sandy's heart.

What are you two whispering?
- Romance, romance.

Devika is still his wife.
- She was.

Now Devika has a boyfriend.

They've been married for two years.

But they are still
very much in love.

Devika cheated Aarush.

He just said a small lie.
What difference does it make? - No.

What happened?
- Let's tour around ltaly.

We've been sitting here
all day. Show us ltaly.

ltaly.
- Good idea. - But why?

Why?
- Devika. - Devika?

There's a temple there.

Come on, come on.
- Let's go visit it.

Come on, come on.
- Come on, come on.

EROS

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''l can cross all limits
for your love.

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''l can cross all
limits for your love.''

''lf l ever lie..''

''lf l ever lie, l'll die.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''l'll forsake everything for you.''

''lf l ever lie..''

''lf l ever lie, l'll die.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''lf we're ever apart.''

''We're ever helpless to meet.''

''lf l ever think like that..''

''..l'll be frightened.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''l can cross all limits
for your love.

''lf l ever lie..''

''lf l ever lie, l'll die.''

''Oh boy, you're mine.''

''Oh boy, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''l'll take you in my arms
and give you the world.''

''l think only
about you every moment.''

''l'm so restless without you.''

''l'm crazy about you.''

''You don't know that.''

''l'm crazy about you.''

''You don't know that.''

''lt's the truth.''

''lf l ever lie..''

''lf l ever lie, l'll die.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''l can cross all limits
for your love.

''lf l ever lie..''

''lf l ever lie, l'll die.''

''Oh boy, you're mine.''

''Oh boy, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''l'm alive for you.''

''You're closest to my heart.''

''All my paths lead to you.''

''You're my fate.''

''Come hold my hands.''

''l'll shower love in
front of everyone.''

''Come hold my hands.''

''l'll shower love in
front of everyone.''

''lf l ever lie..''

''lf l ever lie, l'll die.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''Oh girl, you're mine.''

''l can cross all
limits for your love.''

''lf l ever lie..''

''lf l ever lie, l'll die.''

''Oh boy, you're mine.''

''Oh boy, you're mine.''

''Oh boy.. mine.''

''Oh girl.. mine.''

''Oh boy.. mine.''

''Oh girl.. mine.''

You know l'm really happy today.

l feel like.. l'm the
luckiest man in the world.

Hi, Aarush.

Hi. Come in.

Come, come sit with us. - Why is he
calling her here? - He's gone mad.

He has forgotten
that he has lied to her.

His wife is dead.

Nothing can be done now.

Sandy, we met because of her.

Devika is my..
- My.. my boss's daughter.

Devika, hello.

And my..
- And my boss's daughter as well.

That means Bob and
my boss's daughter.

lt's so sweet of you guys.

l thought you wouldn't talk to me..

..after you got to
know what happened

lt's not your fault.

lt was my destiny that
on the honeymoon night..

Night and day you keep
talking about destiny.

Hey.
- Hi, Benny. - Hi.

Okay, bye guys.
- Bye.

Bye, Benny. Bye.
- Nice meeting you.

Bye, Lenny.
- lt's Benny and not Lenny.

Devika!

Those divorce papers.. speed it up.

Divorce?

Who's getting a divorce?
- Me.

From whom?
- Devika.

Devika is your wife?
- Yes.

But she's dead.

When did she die?

She's alive.

You said that she died
on the honeymoon night.

When did l say that?
- God!

And all this while
l thought your wife wasn't alive.

No.. it's as good as
not having one. - Yes.

They're getting a divorce.

She's as good as dead.
- l don't care!

lt doesn't matter
who you got married to.

Or whether you're getting a divorce!
The truth is that you lied to me.

And you won my heart by lying to me.

Darling, when..
- God!

Darling, when did l lie?

l never lie.
- What?

Sandi..
- lt's Sandy. lt's Sandy.

My name is Sandy, Aarush.
- Yes.

Sandy, l love you.
- Liar.

Disgusting.
- Sandy.

Where are you going, Aarush?

ln the ocean.
- What?

Stop her.

Go!
- Go here.

Sandy! Sandy, open the door.

You lied to me, Aarush.

l never lied to you, Sandi.

l swear l never lied to you, Sandi.

Because..
- lt's Sandy, my name is Sandy.

Excuse me, where are you going?

Balcony.
- For what?

Jump, jump. Jump. Please.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Suicide.

Wait, wait, why are you screaming?

There's a man, he's trying
to jump from the balcony.

Suicide in my hotel..
What a Publicity.

Come on, let's call the media.

Welcome media. See the
suicide first time in ltaly.

ln my famous hotel.
Click my photographs.

Aarush.

Aarush, what are you doing?

He eitherjumps into the
ocean or from the balcony.

Aarush, come down.

His name is Aarush.

He's amore, loving..
He's going to jump.

You take his photo.

Please, l request.
- Aarush?

He could've gone
anywhere to commit suicide.

But he chose my hotel. l told you.

Aarush, have you gone mad?

Why are you committing suicide?

l'm not committing suicide.

You've closed your door.

l need to talk to you.

l've always spoken the truth.

My wife isn't dead.

She's alive.

The only difference is that on
the night of our honeymoon..

..she ditched me and
went with someone else.

But Pasta told me all this.

Why do you believe him?

He's always joking.

What should l do now?

Save me. Pull me up. Pull harder.

Why did the music stop?

What?

Security, go. Pull him,
push him, push him.

l love you, Sandy.

Now l even told the name correctly.

Where are you going now?
- l..

You know, l had read..

..that when someone
saves your life..

..you owe your life to him.

Your life doesn't
belong to you anymore.

You owe your life to me.

And you don't have
the right to end it.

l love you.

By the way,
where did you read this?

ln last month's Cosmo.

l love Cosmo.

l'll stop reading 'Grihashobha'
and start reading Cosmo.

Mama mia, my publicity stopped.

Ladies and gentlemen,
on this joyous occasion..

..of Bob and Hetal's wedding..

..l'd like to raise
a toast to them.

l want to wish them a
long and happy married life.

You and your dad are
very close, isn't it?

l wish the all the
happiness in the world to her.

He isn't my papa.

He's my boss.

Cheers to everybody.

Tell him that you have everything.

You have a big house, money.

Tell him that you've
become a mother.

And he has become a grandpa.

Trust me, he'll just melt.

Are you serious?

You want to talk to him,
don't you?

Here. Call him.

Batuk Patel Pareshan,
speak after the beep.

l want to tell you something.

l have a son, Papa.

He's just like you.

Papa, for the first time
today he said grandpa.

Papa, at least talk to me once.

Even if you want to scold me.

Bye, Papa.

Hetal. My daughter.

Papa.

Hetal, l'm coming.

l'm coming to London to see you.

To live in my
son-in-law's big bungalow.

To embrace my grandson.

Okay, Papa.

l'll be there on the 1 7th.

l'll be there in five days, dear.

Okay.

My papa is coming, Sandy.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Mummy.

Mummy, l'm a grandpa.

You'll still be a fool.

Mummy, why are you hitting
me now? l'm going on the 1 7th.

You're so stupid.

Why are you going after five days?

Why aren't you going now?

Go now, right now, and bring
my daughter and son-in-law here.

Mummy.

Go on, don't waste time.
- l'm going.

Go, go, go.

Five days.

Where will l get a
baby from in five days?

Look, l'm sorry.

l know l shouldn't have lied.

But papa talked to me on
the phone because l lied.

But, baby, why lie?

A lie said for a
noble cause isn't a lie.

So sweet you are.

Okay, don't worry.

l'll think of something.

We'll arrange for a baby.

Really?
- Yes.

And, baby, a big house as well?

ls your papa bringing the
entire village along? - No.

Papa thinks he's a millionaire.

How can he think that?
- l told him that.

What? Are you.. mad?

Just desperate.

Ya.

Brother.

Hello, Brother.
- How are you little one?

l'm coming to London.. to stay
with you in your house.. - Really?

What are you saying, Brother?

The queen of England is..

..bestowing me with a
medal in the Buckingham Palace.

Because your brother..

..can makes any tight
lipped terrorist talk..

l love you.
Congratulations, Brother.

l love you too.
- Brother, with that l remembered..

..l want to introduce
you to someone.

Someone special.

Do you remember,
what happened with Puja?

No, Brother, l'm not making
the mistake that sister made.

Brother, he's a very nice man.

And he comes from a good family.

ls he rich? - Of course he's rich.
Just come and meet him once, please

He's right here.

Talk to him yourself

Aarush,
- Brother l mean my Brother.

Okay.

Hello, Brother.

Brother. l'm brother
only to my sisters.

l'm.. sir for you. Call me sir.

Sir.

My sister was praising you a lot.
- Sir.

But l want to see for myself..

..whether you're
suited for her or not.

ls that clear?
- Sir.

lf l find anything
wrong about you..

..you can't imagine what
l'll do to you. - Yes, sir.

l'm coming to London in three days.

Just a second, hold on.

So now that you've
had your little break..

..shall we continue Mr. Hudley.

Do you have any terrorist links?

l said do you have
any terrorist links?

l said do you have any
terrorist links? - No.

Liar.

l hate liars.

Yes, l was saying, Aarush.

l'm coming to London on the 14th.

We'll see you then.
- Sir.

Don't disappoint me.

Sir, have a.. Sir, sir, sir.

The phone got disconnected.

Why did you lie to
your brother about me?

Neither am l rich.

Leave alone a mansion, l
don't even have a house.

Why did you lie to him?

And you know.. He's coming home.

He'll know what the truth is.

What's the use?

l suggest that we call
him and tell him the truth.

Why lie?

You're right.
- Where are you taking me?

Bob. Come here.

Aarush, this is my brother.

Major Krishna Rao.

Head of the lndian
Military lntelligence.

And, Brother, this is
my boyfriend Aarush.

He's jobless at the moment.

But he has a nice job.

He works as a jinx at casinos.

And Aarush stays in his home.

And he sleeps on this couch..

And after we get married,
l'll sleep on the carpet.

No problem.

Brother.. l want to marry Aarush.

l can't marry him at the
moment because he's married.

But we will, after he
gets divorced. No problem.

Brother, l've chosen
a nice boy, isn't it?

Brother, bless us.

Are you ashamed of me?

Aarush, l love you.

But think from a
brother's point of view.

How can l tell him the truth?

Why? What will go wrong
if you tell him the truth?

Will he shoot me?
- Aarush, he'll kill you.

Guys. Guys, guys,
look. Just don't stress.

Sandy, when is
your brother arriving?

On the 14th.
- And when is he leaving?

On the 16th.

And papa is coming
on the 1 7th. Perfect.

We'll call the estate agency..

..and hire the
grandest mansion in London.

First Sandy's brother will arrive.

He'll think this is Aarush's house.

He'll be impressed
with Aarush and leave.

Papa will arrive on the 1 7th.

He'll think this is your house.

He'll be impressed
by you and leave.

Papa will be happy.

Your Brother will be happy.

We'll happy.

You know that l don't lie.

A lie isn't a lie if its
said for a noble cause..

Aarush..

What a superb plan.

Who is she?

The owner of this house,
Zulekha ma'am.

And her three millionaire husbands.

Millionaire husbands?

Her late husbands who left
millions behind for her.

Zulekha ma'am has a soft
corner for old millionaires.

But she's so unfortunate.

All the three husbands passed
away on their wedding night.

We'll have to take
these photographs down.

With whose permission do you..

..want to take those
photographs down?

Why is that widow
walking in slow motion?

Hello.
- And you are?

Ma'am, l told you about them.

The new tenants who..
- Yes, that's fine.

But did you tell them..

..that we rent out the house
only to married couples. Right

Are you two married?

You're married, right?

What?
- Yes.

Yes, we're married.

Then there's no problem.

Alright. Where do l have to sign?
- Ma'am, l'll show you.. - Come.

Sister-in-law, another lie.

What difference does it make?

A lie isn't a lie if its
said for a noble cause..

Please, Aarush.

Where is that written?

They've made me a complete liar.

Which terminal is he arriving at?
- Three.

Okay.
- No, four.

No, three.
- Sandy. Why are you so stressed?

You see.. my brother is very nice.

But if he catches someone lying..

..he can be extremely mean to him.

Brother's trip has been postponed,
he isn't coming.

What? He isn't coming?
- No. He just..

But we've already paid
three days rent for the house.

Praise lord Krishna.
- Krishna?

Krishna is her brother's name.

Brother has arrived.

Praise Lord Krishna!
Praise Lord Krishna..

Welcome, sir, welcome.

You look better.

l look better than the tree?

No, no.

You look better than l thought.

Ok. - Do you know Gujarati?
- Just a little.

That's not a sin.

lt'll do. Come on.

Papa.

Papa?

Sandy's brother is Hetal's father.

That means Sandy is Hetal's aunt.

Papa.

You won't talk to me.

Won't you talk to me?

Won't you forgive me?

You darling daughter.

Your little daughter.

My baby.
- Papa.

My baby.

Aarush, he's my papa.
- Hello, Mr. Krishna Rao.

Krishna Rao? Batuk Patel.

Papa.

Batuk Patel?

Papa?
- Papa.

You were supposed to
arrive on the 1 7th, isn't it?

l couldn't resist it any longer.
So l came earlier, son-in-law.

Son-in-law?

Papa, he isn't my husband.

He isn't your husband?

He isn'tjust my husband.

He's also my Lord and Master.

Yes.

He's my Lord and Master.

l simply adore flowers.

Oh, my..
- My, my..

Hello, Sister.
- l'm not your sister!!

My name is Zulekha Bano.

l'm absolutely alone
in this dreadful world.

And you?
- Widower.

Okay, Zulekha, see you.
- Why? Why?

Papa, Zulekha is leaving.

Who said?

Your father is here.

There should be someone
to look after him, right?

l suggest you live with us.

Consider this your own house.

That l do.

l.. l.. l.. - l was
wondering why you didn't stammer.

Forget it.

Let's go in.
- Come on.

No, first l'll see my grandson.

Bring my grandson.

He's gone for a walk, papa.

He goes for a walk
at such a young age.

The nanny is with him.

Call the nanny.
- Lie to him again.

Come on. Go ahead.

Hello.
- Nanny.

No, it has been postponed.

Wonder when he's coming next.
- My papa.

Oh no.

You shouldn't talk
that way with servants.

Give it to me. l'll talk to him.

Nanny, bring my grandson
here quickly. - Nanny?

ls he your father's grandchild.
- Coming.

Yes, come quickly.

That's how you talk. Here.

What happened?

Papa is here.
- Papa is here?

But he was supposed to
arrive three days later.

He's asking about the child.

We'll have to organize
for a child right now.

Where shall l get the child from?

Son-in-law. Who is she?

She's your daughter.
- The one besides her.

She.. she's.. the landlady.
- Land..

This isn't your house?

No, this is my house.

lt's my house.

Then landlady.

There's no other lady like
her in the entire land..

That l can see.

Papa..

Papa. Papa.

Greetings, Papa,
greetings. How are you? - Bless you.

Son-in-law, give me your hand.

Son-in-law, who is he?

Son-in-law?

He's.. the.. cook.

Cook. But he's wearing
such expensive clothes.

All the cooks here
wear clothes like this.

English cooker..
- Cooker.

Cooker?

Son-in-law, why is he stammering?

You're the one who stammers.

l'm his master. He's the hired help..

He respects me, so when l stammer he
also stammers as a sign of respect.

Yes.. - But you've
stammered only once until now.

Hey.. what've.. you.. c-c-c..

..c
- ooked for supper?

Pudding..
Would you like to have some?

Would you like to eat it?
- No.

N-n-n-n-no.
- Fine.

l've got the baby!

My grandson is here.

My grandson is here.

My grandson is here.

Give me my grandson.

Hey, Nanny, give me my grandson.

What kind of a nanny is she?

Nanny, give him this grandson.

Give it to me.

My grandson.. he's black.

How can you say that, Papa?

You can't discriminate
between dark and fair.

l am wheatish. Mother was wheatish.

Wheatish is fine.

But he is black and l mean BLACK!

Do something and
handle the situation.

Son-in-law.
- Yes.

How did this happen?

Because..
my grandma is from Africa.

African?
- Yes.

Fine, fine, fine.

What is the name of the child?

Rahul.
- Rajesh. - Rohan. - Raj.

My Rahul Rajesh Rohan Raj.

''So what if we black, we
still have a heart of gold.''

''l love you.''

How long will you keep
playing with the child?

Come, l'll show you
to your bedroom.

Come.
- Come on. Give me the baby. - Here.

Take care.
- Come on.

My dear baby.

Nanny.

Nanny. Do l look like a nanny?

Cook, l.. a.. cook.

Look, l'm sorry, baby.

What else could we've done?
- l'll tell you.

We could've told the truth.

l've already lied umpteen times.

And l'll have to lie again.

l was doing the African dance
like a fool in front of her papa.

l don't know what to do.

l've gone crazy. But it's
no use telling all of you.

l'm so unfortunate.

See. See my bad luck.

You're so unfortunate.

You're so unfortunate.

You? You?

My wife is your wife.

Your wife.. is your
wife and my sister.

Your future wife, is still
your wife, but my sister.

Each time every woman ends
up as your wife and my sister.

And you're the unfortunate one?

Wow.

Forget all this. African child?
- lt's Stella's.

You want everything quickly.

Fake child. Fake husband.
Fake house.

Fake.. Papa.

Don't say that about papa.

He's real.

Papa.

Papa.

Papa, we..

Aunt, don't dance
before these rascals.

Rascals?
- Aunt?

Give me those hands, Dhanno.

l completely forgot.
- What?

Papa suffers from sleepwalking.

What?
- We are safe.

Thank God.
- Really? - Yes.

He doesn't know where he is?
- Yes.

Gabbar Singh,
shall l consider it a yes? - Yes.

lt's a yes.
- Slowly.

Surma Bhopali.
What's special for Holi?

That was a close shave.
- Close what..

That was a close shave.
- Sorry.

Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

How can l let you go?

''Hush, hush, hush.''

''Papa's sleeping..''

''Hush, hush, hush.''

''Papa's sleeping..''

''lt's a naughty,
naughty, naughty night.''

''lt's just you, me
and a lot of solitude.''

''lt's a naughty,
naughty, naughty night.''

''lt's just you, me
and a lot of solitude.''

''We had to pay
dearly for this charade.''

''Our love life is in a mess.''

''Wonder how long it
will torment us?''

''Lower the volume.''

''Papa will wake up.''

''Lower the volume.''

''Papa will wake up.''

''Hush, hush, hush.''

''Papa's sleeping.''

''l wish he keeps sleeping soundly.''

''And we can easily
do what we want to.''

''lt won't be nice if we're caught.''

''Papa doesn't sleep properly..

..and he's not a small kid.''

''We're in big trouble.''

''The night is taunting us.''

''l hope we don't lose this chance.''

''Lower the volume.''

''Papa will wake up.''

''Lower the volume.''

''Papa will wake up.''

''Hush, hush, hush.''

''Papa's sleeping.''

EROS

''Your enthralling
beauty torments me.''

''Your beauty mesmerises me.''

''Take me in your arms,
l'm not stopping you.''

''Fulfil your naughty wishes,
l won't stop you.''

''How much l love you, my darling.''

''l'm willing to express that.''

''Lower the volume.''

''Papa will wake up.''

''Lower the volume.''

''Papa will wake up.''

''lt's a naughty,
naughty, naughty night.''

''lt's just you, me
and a lot of solitude.''

''lt's a naughty.. - Naughty..
- Naughty.. - Naughty..''

Good morning.

Nanny! How dare
you kiss your boss..

That's not funny.

Okay.. l am justjoking.

Son-in-law. Where is my son-in-law?

Are you saying something?

Son-in-law. Where is my son-in-law?

Don't know where my son-in-law went.

Where is papa going so
early in the morning?

To see his son-in-law.

And his son-in-law is here.

Bob is sleeping with Hetal upstairs.

Come on, help me climb up.

Son-in-law.

Son-in-law.

Son-in-law, wake up.

Son-in-law.. forget it.

You idiot, get up! Papa is coming.
- What?

Son-in-law.

Here..

Son-in-law, what are you doing?

l.. l.. l'm doing push-ups.
Exercise.

Push-ups. Exercise.
l'll do it too.

No, you can't do it.
- Why can't l?

No, you can't.
- l'll do it - No. - Just watch.

One, two, three..

Four.. five..

six, seven, eight..

Nine.

Ten.

Get up. Get up.

Go. Go..

Hey, cooker.

What are you doing here?
- l.. l.. l..

Speak up - l was coming in
to take the order..

..for breakfast.

Order for breakfast.

Son-in-law, move aside.

What would you like to
have for breakfast..

Would you like to
have anything else, sir?

Rahul Rajesh Rohan Raj is crying.

Not this time.

Stella, l'm really sorry.
Just listen to me.

l have a left-right
coordination problem.

That's why l slapped you.

That's okay, Son-in-law.

Stella.

We are done for.

How could you?

You said you'll take
my baby for a drive

..and you kept him this long.

Who is this?

She's.. Rahul Rajesh
Rohan Raj's.. teacher.

She teaches in the school.

You're lucky l'm taking
him to the play school.

Otherwise, l
would've called the police.

Bloody kidnapping!

Overnight? Kidnapping? Police?

What was she screaming about?

Son-in-law!

Over night.. what does it mean?

Over night means
that the night is over.

Kidnapping means
the kid is napping.

And about the school and
the police she meant that..

..the child will finish school
and become a police officer.

That's what the teacher
meant to say.

That's what she was saying.

Oh that.

What kind of a woman is she?

She didn't let me
embrace my grandson.

Yes, that's wrong.

We should ask the teacher.

The child is gone.

The teacher left too.

And now you.. you..
when will you go?

How can l leave like that?

l met my grandson, my daughter,
my son-in-law.

This is my first visit to London.

Won't you give me a tour of
the city? - Of course we will.

Hey, cooker, don't touch me.

l have a problem with my
right-left coordination too

Before the slap session starts
again. Let's get out of here..

l'll show you around London,
come on.

Son-in-law, this
topless bus is very nice.

London's double decker.

See this.

Hello, Brother.

What?

l mean, yippee.

But how did you come
here all of a sudden?

Yes, of course, your function..

..at the Buckingham
Palace cannot be postponed.

Okay.. .

We'll meet at home.

Welcome to London, Brother.

When is papa going back?

How would l know? Why?

Because Sandy's brother has arrived.

What?

lf your brother comes home..

..papa will find out everything.

What will l find out?
Make some room for me.

Papa.

What will l find out?
What are you whispering?

Papa, Sandy..
- This nanny..

No, no, Sandy isn't a nanny.

No.
- Sandy isn't a nanny.

No.. Papa, she's
from a wealthy family.

And..
- And, Papa, her brother..

..has fixed her marriage
into a wealthier family.

So?
- So?

So.. she doesn't want to
get married? - Why?

Because.. l want to study
further and become a doctor.

And.. and.. she has
lied to her brother that..

..she's going to marry
a wealthy boy. - So?

So, her brother has arrived, Papa.

To meet her fianc
- What now?

What now?
- What now?

We should help.. this.. poor girl.

Yes, we should help her,
we should help her.

But how will we help her?
- How?

We can pretend to be
the boy's family. - Yes.

Very good idea.
- Good idea.

And.. and who will be her fiance?
Who will it be?

l'll be her fiance.
- No, Son-in-law, how can you?

Papa, it's just a charade.
lt's not real.

And Zulekha can be your wife.

Yes.

Good idea.
- Good deal.

Good idea.

But who is her brother?

Stay away from my sister

Brother!

How are you?

l am fine.

Where have your
dimples disappeared?

You didn't come to see
me in the last six months.

Wonder where they disappeared?

Let's see where they are.

Where could they be?

There they are

Brother, let me introduce
you to Aarush's family.

He..
- l'm Aarush's papa.

And l'm his mother.

l'm Aarush's sister.

And l'm Aarush's sister's husband.

Aarush, are you okay?

He's fine.
- Get up.

Get up. Get up. Come. Get up.

You okay?
- Thank you.

You saw me and you fainted. Why?

lt was quite hot outside.

So l got a sun-stroke.

Sprinkle some water.

Sprinkle some water.

l've seen you somewhere.

Where have l seen you?

You look familiar as well.

But l haven't seen you anywhere.

What do you do?

Brother. Stop this interrogation.

l thought your trip was cancelled.

How did you make it here?

l knew you'd forget!

Because today is 'Raksha Bandhan'.

Oh, God. l forgot.

That's why l've brought
a Sacred thread along.

Why do you have two?

Puja sent it for me.
- ls she coming?

No, she's in Vegas
with her husband.

You can tie it for me.

You're not wearing
a 'sacred thread'?

Why not?

Because..

l forgot, just like Sandy,
that today is 'Raksha Bandhan'.

That's okay

l've brought two threads.

Hetal, tie one to Aarush.
- Okay.

No, no, no.

This isn't possible.

lf Hetal ties the 'thread'..

..This is sacrilege.

Why? - Because 'Raksha
Bandhan' was yesterday.

No, Uncle. 'Raksha Bandhan'
is today.

Come, Hetal..

Are you sure..
l haven't seen you before?

There's some connection.

Puja.
- Puja (veneration platter)?

The veneration platter
hasn't arrived.

You didn't bring the
veneration platter.

When you've forgotten the Rakhi..
There's no need for that.

Tie it like that.

''Even the stars and flowers know.''

''That my sister is
one in a million.''

''And we'll always stay
together like this.''

This is terrible.

What are you doing?
- Krishna is Puja's brother.

So?

Puja? The one in Macao.
- Yes.

But Krishna is Sandy's brother.

They both are his sisters.
- Both.

l'm so unfortunate..
lf you were my girlfriend..

..he would've been
your brother as well.

l'm very stressed.

l don't know what to do.

One minute..
- l'll tell everyone the truth.

No.
- l'll tell Sandy the truth.

You won't tell Sandy anything.

She won't understand.
- No, l will.

You'll have to tell her
after you two get married.

l can't.. - You know one thing.
You will have to lie.

l can't lie.

A lie isn't a lie if its
said for a noble cause..

lt isn't.

l can't lie.
- You will have to.

For Sandy's sake.

For Sandy.. Fine.

l'll lie for the last time.

Last time.

lt's the last time.

lt's very strenuous.

This isn't the last time.

you'll have to do it
over and over again..

Brother, why are you
growing your hair?

Competing with me?

Hey, dear.

l was on field posting in
Afghanistan, that's why.

You're looking so handsome.

Brother. Brother.

l've got strawberries,
peaches, orange for you..

..grapes, biscuits.. brother.
- Brother?

Sir.

Suck your paunch in..

Brother, the two of you'll are
looking very nice together..

Nice happy family.

You haven't met
my entire family yet.

l wish sister could
meet Aarush as well.

She can.
- How?

Stand together.

l'll take your photo
and send an MMS.

What now?

lt isn't too hot.

You can't get a sun-stroke.

l'm camera conscious.

Come on, don't be shy. Come on.

Why are you making faces?

Something went into my eye.

Come on.
- Come on.

Come on, smile.
- Smile.

No more camera conscious.

Strand straight.
- Ok.

Perfect.

l'll send it to Puja right away.

He isn't even photogenic.

That's fine..

Hello.
- Hello, darling, how are you?

Who is this? - ''Who is this?''
Have you forgotten..

..that steamy night we had together?
- What?

Hello. - Remember, you
took me to Hotel Nagraj..

..where we saw the
movie 'Dostana' twice.

you've got the wrong number,
don't call again.

Sacrilege! Sacrilege!

Brother, stop all this.

l mean, you must be tired.

Go and freshen up.
Send a MMS later. Okay?

Come on, show me my room.
- Come.

The job's done.

That was fun.
- l'm satisfied.

lt was sweaty.
- Even l was.

Come on.

Krishna.
- What are you doing here?

l came here to give
you holy offerings.

Oh.
- But, you too? - What?

You bathe with a boy?
- Yes.

lt's terrible.

What's so shocking about
bathing with lifebuoy soap?

lt's a weird family.

My phone..

Something wrong?

He forgets that
he's allergic to bread.

Oh, l thought hearing
about my phone..

What happened to your phone?
What happened?

When l was bathing in the tub
it was kept outside. - Okay.

When l came out, it was
inside the tub. - Okay.

When you were inside the
tub the phone was outside.

When you came out of the
tub the phone was inside.

You're having phone tub-ble!
How funny.

''Oh boy, you are mine.''

''Oh boy, you are mine.''

''Oh boy, you are mine.''

''Oh girl, you are mine.''

''Oh girl, you are mine.''

What?
- That's my leg.

What are you doing, Aarush?

l don't think your
brother likes me.

Don't be silly, baby,
its nothing like that..

l mean it.

Aarush..
- He keeps staring at me.

You're just imagining things.

it's nothing like that, okay

l'm telling you.

You have a sore throat.
- No.

Sister.
- Brother.

Sorry, sir.

What's going on here?
- Nothing.

Go and sleep in your room.

l need to talk to Aarush, alone.

Goodnight.

Aarush.
- Yes.

My baggage got exchanged with
someone else's at the airport.

Sorry to hear that, sir.

Do you have a pyjama?
- Yes.

l'll get it right away.

Here, you can wear it.

l was going to wear it tonight.

But l will sleep in my shorts.

You wear these disgusting,
threaded pyjamas.

The thread provides a good grip.

The pyjama doesn't come
off while sleeping at night.

That's why l wear it, sir.

Go to Sleep.
- So early?

Go to Sleep.
- Fine, sir.

Goodnight, sir.

Hey, cooker,
what are you doing here?

She's my wife.
- That's just a charade.

We were just pretending.

Hetal, go and
sleep in Sandy's room.

Come on.

Go on.

Bye.
- Goodnight.

Where are you going?

l was.. - Tonight you'll
sleep with me in this room.

l'll keep a watch on you.

Okay, Papa.

How are you? Everything fine?

Hey papa come quickly to bed,
l'm already undressed.

Papa l love kissing you..

What are you staring at?

You'll sleep on the floor.

What are you doing?

l'm making a bunker.

Because fidget in my sleep?
You might get hurt.

How do you know that you fidget
in your sleep, if you're sleeping?

Sandy told me.

You haven't done any hanky-panky
with my sister, have you?

Major, l haven't done
any hanky or panky..

..with anyone's sister.

l'm still a pure..

l don't want to know.

Sleep.
- Yes.

Goodnight.
- Sleep.

Sir.. where are you taking
me early in the morning?

My suitcase got exchanged..

..with someone called
Kishore Samtani.

l'm on my way to get it back.

Kishore Samtani? That means,
Bob's casino? l am done for.

Thank you.
- Welcome.

Where are you going?
- l'm going to make a call.

Only one.

Son-in-law. When did you arrive?

What are you doing here?

Where is my daughter?
- She's at home.

Ooh home. Fine, let's go inside.

l'll.. just go to the bathroom.
- Bathroom? - Yes.

There's a bathroom inside as well.

This isn't an inn.

This is your hotel, your casino.
And so is the toilet.

Come on. Take this and come on.

Sir.. sir.

Can l go to the bathroom?
- Yes.

Your bag.
- Yes.

Yes, l'll wait for you here.
- Yes.

Boy, get me a drink.

Are you okay now?

Now that you've come here..

..come with me, to return the bag.

l can't go. l can't go.

Why? - l need to go
inside use the toilet.

l'll wait for you.
- Okay.

l know l am going there.

Mr. Kishor Samtani.

Major Krishna.
- Oh, yes.

l saw your bag.. my bag, so..

Sorry about that confusion.

So nice of you.
- Thank you.

Are you waiting for someone?

l'm waiting for my son-in-law.

He's in the bathroom.

And you? - Yes, l'm
waiting for someone as well.

ls he in the bathroom as well?
- Yes.

What a coincidence?

Excuse me.
- Sure.

Hello.

Son-in-law.
- l'm in your office.

ln the office?

l didn't want to disturb you..

..when you were exchanging the bag.

So, l came directly to your office.

Okay, l'll be right there.

See you.
- Yes.

My son-in-law is already in office.

Let's go, exchange the bag.

Mission successful, we've
already exchanged the bag.

Oh, l missed it.
- Come on, let's go home.

Yes. l'll get it. Let's go.

l know..

Shall we?
- Where does your sister work?

Hide.
- What?

No.. She teaches aerobics
at Hyde Park. To children.

She teaches aerobics at Hyde Park?
- Yes.

Let's go to the casino.

Move.

No one wins.

What happened?

l just saw your
brother-in-law here.

ls it?
- Come.

Come with me.

Sit.
- Sir, but..

Sit down.
- Okay.

Maybe l'm wrong about you..

Fold your sleeves.

maybe you have nothing to do..

..with my phone falling
into the tub.

Maybe the waitress l saw at
the casino wasn't your sister.

Maybe that dealer
wasn't your brother-in-law.

Maybe.. the man who was
waiting for his son-in-law..

..outside the bathroom was
waiting for someone else.

And there was someone else
other than you in the bathroom.

lf any of these maybe's are true..

..then l won't let
my sister marry you.

And to know the truth l'm
going to use this lie detector.

You can lie to me
but not to this machine

Brother, what are you doing?

Finding out the truth.

Aarush doesn't have any objections.

Right, Aarush?

Great.

So, it's simple.

lf you speak the truth..

..the needle will
point towards green.

lf you lie, the needle
will point towards red.

And on red if the
needle even once goes..

Then out of your life,
my sister goes!

let's start with
a simple question

Answer only with 'yes' or 'no'

Okay.

ls your name Aarush?

Yes.

See, it works.

ls this your house?

ls this your house?

No.

lt's hers.

lt's Aarush's house
but it's in her name.

Have l seen you before
l came into this house?

No.

Are you married?

No.

Are they..
- Stop it, Brother, please.

l respect you,
but that doesn't mean..

..l disrespect Aarush.

And by doing this
you're insulting Aarush

l'm your brother!

l have the right to
ask these question.

Fine! lf you want
to know the truth..

..then these should be
the questions.

Aarush.

Aarush, do you love me?
- Yes.

Will you always?
- Yes.

Will you ever deceive me?
- Never.

Will you protect me..

..just like my brother did
for so many years? - Yes.

What more can a brother ask for?

Somebody loves his sister so much.

l apologise to all of you.

My work and my nature is such that..

..l'm used to doubting people.

Aarush.

l misunderstood you.

l'm really sorry.

Welcome to the family.

Brother.
- Aarush. Congratulations.

l can understand the rest..

..but you're married.
- Yes.

How did you say yes?
- Yes.

Devika called this evening.
- Yes.

Outside casino..

Cover me.
- Yes.

And she said that the
divorce has been accepted.

What are you saying?

Congratulations.

This calls for a celebration.

You both come here.

Boys' night out.

Wow.

What beautiful embroidery.

l'm sure they must've
used 1000 labourers.

Come. Come with me.

Welcome to Buckingham palace.

Like it?
- Yes, sir.

Sir? Brother.
- Brother.

Thank you very much.

lt's such a big day for you today.

And you brought us all here.

l had to, Aarush,
you're family now.

And anyway, the big day
isn't today. lt's tomorrow..

Tomorrow?

We have to come back
here tomorrow again.

No, Aarush, l've decided to get
you and Sandy engaged tomorrow.

Major Rao.
- Yes.

Be right there.

The engagement is tomorrow.

Congratulations. Wow.

What happened?

We're being unjust with him.

What?
- Yes.

l should tell him everything.

Have you gone mad?
- No, no, listen to me.

Come on.

Hello.

Santa.
- And Banta.

We're here to cool
the Buckingham Palace.

Santa Banta coming in for AC
maintenance. - That's done.

lt's really fun, Banta.

Buckingham Palace.
Buckingham Palace.

Banta, be silent.
- Okay.

Uckingham Palace. Uckingham Palace.

Come on, get it out.

Santa.
- Banta.

Don't touch that.

That's the wrong cylinder.

How can l pick it up
without touching it?

What a joke. What a joke.

Santa, we're here to put
the coolant, not that one.

lf we open that here..

..people will go crazy
with a fit of laughter

Why is that?
- Because this contains laughing gas.

lt's called nitrous oxide.

We have to deliver it
to the dentist, later.

They use during tooth extractions

And that's the tooth haha.. Truth..

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Bob, l want to speak the truth,
and l will. - No, you won't.

l will.
- Aarush. Listen to me.

Aarush you can explain
after you get married.

l'm not going to lie anymore

Listen to me.
- Enough.

Aarush, l'm telling you.

l want to tell the truth.

''When you want to tell the truth and
your ill-luck comes in between you.''

''How long can he run from bad luck?''

''Now we have to watch, what's next.''

''Jinx, such a jinx.

''Not seen a man like him.''

''He's such a loser.''

Her majesty, queen
Elizabeth the 2nd.

Duke of Lancaster.

Duke of Normandy.

Defender of the faith.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

l would like to welcome
the heroes of the moment.

Those various soldiers
from around the world..

..who have given their services..

..and have put their life in
danger to save the world..

..from the constant and
immediate threats of terrorism.

l would also like to
thank their families..

..for their constant
and silent support.

May l now request her
majesty to honour these heroes.

Santa, quickly fill the coolant.

The queen's party
must have started.

Come on. Tighten it.

From lndia.. Major Krishna Rao.

What?
- What happened?

Why are you laughing so much?

Seems like you thought
of a very funny joke..

..and you aren't
telling me about it.

lt must be such a funny joke.

l'm laughing so
profusely before hearing it.

You scoundrel, rascal, you fool.

You put in the wrong cylinder.
- ls it?

This is the laughing gas.

Stop it.

What now?

Banta, there's no use stopping now.

The cylinder's empty.

lf this is what's happening to us,..

..l'm afraid to think what
must be happening upstairs.

Why are you laughing?

Why are you laughing?
- l don't know.

Why are you laughing?

Everybody is laughing. Brother..

Bye.

Come on. l also feel like dancing.

Come on, darling.

Queen. Queen.

Why are we all laughing?
- l don't know.

You don't know.

Your Victoria Terminus is now our.

Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaj station.

Hail Maharashtra!

Hail Maharashtra!

Brother.

Brother.

Aarush.
- Aarush.

How do you know my son-in-law?

He's the husband of my daughter.

Your daughter?

Yes, my daughter.

Come on.

Brother.

Brother. l want to
tell you the truth.

Aarush.
- Puja.

You bloody liar.

You didn't tell Sandy that
Puja is your ex-girlfriend.

What else are you hiding Aarush?

You cheater.
- No, no.

How dare you talk to
my son-in-law like that?

l'm not your son-in-law.

l'm not your son-in-law.

We're divorced.
- What?

You're laughing and
telling me such a serious thing?

So, you're also a divorcee?
- Yes.

What are you saying?

He's my son-in-law.

How can he be your son-in-law?

He's your son.

l'm his daughter and
he's not my husband.

Come here, scoundrel.

Tell me, how many
wives do you have?

l'll tell you, l'll tell you.

My wife is my wife.

Bob's wife is my wife.

Thankfully, you're not married to me.

Or else your wife
would've been my wife as well.

lf l didn't have so many wives..

..l would've married
your sister long back.

All that's fine.

But who is Bob's wife?

l'm Bob's wife.

That's terrible.

That's terrible.

Who is Bob?
- Papa, l'm Bob.

He's Bob..

That's terrible.

l have two sons-in-law.

And both are homos.

Oh, you're gay as well.
- l'm not gay.

l'm not gay.

Quiet. Quiet.

You're a homo as well.

l forgot about the main valve.
- Main valve?

lf l close the main valve
the inlet will be locked.

Close it quickly, Banta, do it.

Silence!

Silence!

l want to say something!

Brother.

When l tried to propose to Puja,
you hit me. l fell.

When l tried to get married,
l got divorced. Got divorced.

Cheers!

l tried to commit suicide,
Sandy saved me..

l got a new life.

And today.. when l came
here to tell you the truth..

..my secret was revealed
before l could reveal it.

And now.. now, look
l'm so unfortunate.

l want to express my sorrow.

But l'm laughing away.

Fate has always given me bad luck.

l'm just a bad omen.

l never had any
luck since childhood.

l am a jinx.

Just a loser. Just a loser.

l could've lied and married you.

But l'd rather tell
the truth and lose you.

Any home which is based on lies

..is not a home

Even though you mean
the world to me.

And you know it.

Sir. l'm a bad omen,
but not a liar.

l'm sorry, sir.

l'm sorry.

Brother, you're both
looking very nice.

Nice, happy family.

Will you protect me..

..just like my brother did
for so many years? - Yes.

l misunderstood you.

l'm really sorry.

You just said that you don't lie.

But you lied again while leaving.

Yes, it's a lie
that you're a jinxed

Because any man Sandy
loves can not be jinxed

You two aren't
getting engaged tomorrow..

..you two are getting married.

l've got my eyes on you.

''When someone finds true love..''

Papa, l don't have any left
right problem. - ls it? - Yes.

l have right left problem.

''..bad luck and jinx vanishes.''

Dear, it was my fault
that l didn't like Benny.

''The house is full of happiness.''

You won and l lost.

''There won't be any
bad luck, any longer.''

''lt's true.''

''He's not a loser.''

''No, not a loser.''

''He's such a winner.''

''He's not a loser.''

''No more a loser.''

''He's such a winner.''

Cut.

Cut.

''Friday the 13th is a bad omen.''

''He's jinxed, that's his fate.''
- Thank you.

Will you get such a husband who'll..
- Cut.

''But it's no match
for his birthday.''

''He's such bad-luck.''

''You'd never have come
across a loser like him.''

''No more a loser.''

''Everybody is a winner.''

Welcome to..

Welcome. Mama mia.

Happy birthday Sajid!

Drinks for everybody.

Cheers!

''He's a winner.''