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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:46,762 --> 00:00:51,824 Cabbage Soup 2 00:00:51,825 --> 00:00:57,190 Brought to you by NDNA @ www.opensubtitles.org 3 00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:05,791 The village was a village of the Bourbonnais. 4 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:14,051 As this discrete Bourbonnais hadn't carved for itself a war name in history, like Alsace or Lorraine, 5 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,220 it was mistaken, for instance, for Burgundy 6 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,807 just as, long ago, Piraeus (Greek port) was mistaken for a man, 7 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:24,103 and my aunt's pendants for my uncle's. 8 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,981 In short, the village was the worse for it. 9 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,735 To put it bluntly, back on white, 10 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:34,446 there was nothing left in the village, less than nothing. 11 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:35,614 Or, rather, yes... 12 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,326 There still survived, by hook or by crook, 13 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:39,827 in the hamlet of Les Gourdiflots, 14 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:44,707 two exotics, two fossils from the dawn of time, 15 00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:46,250 two pathetic creatures. 16 00:02:47,961 --> 00:02:50,213 The first of these Last of the Mohicans, 17 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:54,509 of these tanned, wine-soaked dried fruits, 18 00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:57,428 of these curiosities from another time, 19 00:02:58,096 --> 00:03:02,434 rejected by technology and even the combustion engine, 20 00:03:03,143 --> 00:03:06,146 the first, then, of these two Druids of the wine goblet 21 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,523 was called Francis Chérasse, 22 00:03:09,107 --> 00:03:10,400 nicknamed Le Bombé (the bulgy one) 23 00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:14,780 for the hunch that endowed his features. 24 00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:18,993 The second one was Claude Ratinier -- 25 00:03:19,535 --> 00:03:21,662 Le Glaude, as he was called in the neighborhood. 26 00:03:22,204 --> 00:03:23,664 Le Glaude with a G. 27 00:03:25,916 --> 00:03:27,293 No, I dont want any, I dont want any... 28 00:03:27,293 --> 00:03:28,419 It's only a fly... 29 00:03:28,419 --> 00:03:29,879 If you're afraid it'll plug up your ass... 30 00:03:29,879 --> 00:03:31,047 I don't care about the fly... 31 00:03:31,464 --> 00:03:34,174 even flies would do me less harm than wine, with what I've got! 32 00:03:34,383 --> 00:03:35,718 What have you got since yesterday? 33 00:03:37,220 --> 00:03:38,346 Well? What? 34 00:03:39,013 --> 00:03:39,930 I have diabetes 35 00:03:39,930 --> 00:03:41,391 How did you find out? 36 00:03:41,391 --> 00:03:42,350 In the paper 37 00:03:42,475 --> 00:03:44,352 They talk about your diabetes in "The Mountain"? 38 00:03:44,435 --> 00:03:46,939 No, my lad, they talk about it in general in an article 39 00:03:47,189 --> 00:03:49,607 but there's some particular in that general... 40 00:03:49,816 --> 00:03:50,859 So what? 41 00:03:50,859 --> 00:03:51,901 What d'you mean, so what!! 42 00:03:52,027 --> 00:03:54,071 My Aunt Augustine, who had diabetes in every corner, 43 00:03:54,112 --> 00:03:55,405 they took out one of her eyes... 44 00:03:56,990 --> 00:03:57,992 ...she died. 45 00:03:58,075 --> 00:04:00,911 My first cousin, Benoît Clou, he was tiny, like this... 46 00:04:00,911 --> 00:04:03,038 he was big, fat, broad, strong, like that... 47 00:04:03,038 --> 00:04:05,082 well, he too got lucky with diabetes! 48 00:04:05,082 --> 00:04:06,125 So they took out an eye... 49 00:04:09,002 --> 00:04:09,671 ...he died. 50 00:04:09,671 --> 00:04:11,881 So, for me, 1+1, that makes... two. 51 00:04:12,089 --> 00:04:13,966 Well, confidence for confidence... 52 00:04:14,633 --> 00:04:17,970 I have two uncles who died back in 1914... 53 00:04:17,970 --> 00:04:19,013 Really? 54 00:04:19,096 --> 00:04:20,890 ...that'll never happen to me! So drink! 55 00:04:21,223 --> 00:04:22,100 Come on...Drink up! Drink up! 56 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:23,226 I mustn't drink anymore... 57 00:04:22,934 --> 00:04:26,187 Never...never, I'm off to the doctor. 58 00:04:28,607 --> 00:04:31,401 Well...that's not the end of it... 59 00:04:39,076 --> 00:04:41,703 You can have one glassful, Mr. Ratinier... 60 00:04:42,537 --> 00:04:43,705 Per meal? 61 00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:45,499 Oh no! Per day!! 62 00:04:47,751 --> 00:04:50,003 How much have you been drinking everyday? 63 00:04:50,587 --> 00:04:53,299 I dont know...5 or 6 liters... like Le Bombé! 64 00:04:53,257 --> 00:04:55,050 What? You're crazy! 65 00:05:03,101 --> 00:05:04,977 I should never have read this paper... 66 00:05:05,019 --> 00:05:07,688 Anyway, we knew it's just lies in the papers... 67 00:05:07,771 --> 00:05:10,566 ...bullshit from politicians just to upset people... 68 00:05:15,530 --> 00:05:20,327 Well, with all that, old man, you've made me late... 69 00:05:21,578 --> 00:05:23,204 The hour is the hour... 70 00:05:24,706 --> 00:05:27,209 ...and... it's the hour of the "perniflard"... 71 00:05:29,544 --> 00:05:32,089 I'm going to pour myself a wee drop... 72 00:05:33,674 --> 00:05:35,967 if the smell doesn't bother you, with your diet... 73 00:06:12,297 --> 00:06:16,551 Hey, "Le Glaude"... my water, without boasting... 74 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:23,141 it's the best around here... for soup...and for the "perniflard"! 75 00:06:24,309 --> 00:06:28,105 There is underneath a phreatic layer... 76 00:06:28,564 --> 00:06:30,357 there's nothing like it in the whole region... 77 00:06:31,734 --> 00:06:35,029 When I think you got rid of your well for tap water... 78 00:06:35,237 --> 00:06:37,156 ...I want to crawl out of my pants in reverse! 79 00:06:37,365 --> 00:06:39,742 But you know perfectly well that my Francine wanted it on the sink... 80 00:06:39,825 --> 00:06:42,202 Women, they need the latest modern comforts these days... 81 00:06:42,244 --> 00:06:44,747 Ah...they even want equality, those females... 82 00:06:45,331 --> 00:06:46,957 They'll be cute, their little boys... 83 00:06:46,957 --> 00:06:48,460 ...if they create them all by themselves... 84 00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:49,836 with all kind of shots somewhere... 85 00:06:51,296 --> 00:06:53,130 They'll be giving birth to seahorses... 86 00:06:53,130 --> 00:06:54,591 like those found in puddles... 87 00:06:55,675 --> 00:06:56,968 or to diabetics... 88 00:06:59,137 --> 00:06:59,762 El Glaude... 89 00:06:59,971 --> 00:07:01,014 El Glaude... 90 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:02,974 El Glaude... 91 00:07:04,059 --> 00:07:04,893 My water... 92 00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:08,689 it has a temperature of great precision... 93 00:07:09,022 --> 00:07:10,232 for the "perniflard"... 94 00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:12,776 within 1 degree... 95 00:07:14,403 --> 00:07:16,488 If it's icy cold, it slices through your stomach... 96 00:07:17,114 --> 00:07:20,242 but this one...it slides down your guts... 97 00:07:20,409 --> 00:07:23,453 like the morning dew on the leaves...look! 98 00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:25,706 Take a look... 99 00:07:28,417 --> 00:07:29,878 Oh, that was good, my Glaude... 100 00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:31,462 Look! 101 00:08:00,075 --> 00:08:03,078 I say, my Bombé, it's still in our little corner, 102 00:08:03,203 --> 00:08:04,287 far from evil-doers, 103 00:08:04,622 --> 00:08:08,042 that we can best wait for death. 104 00:08:08,709 --> 00:08:10,545 I, for one, will never end up in an old-age home 105 00:08:10,878 --> 00:08:12,463 I'd rather drown in my own well 106 00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:14,173 like any true well-digger should! 107 00:08:14,548 --> 00:08:17,635 That's it, and I should club myself to death on the head with a shoe, 108 00:08:17,510 --> 00:08:19,679 like all true shoemakers should! Nonsense! 109 00:09:05,810 --> 00:09:07,436 It's unbearable... 110 00:09:08,562 --> 00:09:09,981 We need a change of air! 111 00:09:14,944 --> 00:09:17,113 Oh maman...oh mon Gla... 112 00:09:17,530 --> 00:09:18,531 I'm being poisoned! 113 00:09:18,907 --> 00:09:21,868 What's going on inside!...Oh mon Gla! 114 00:09:30,502 --> 00:09:33,881 Oh...this one I danced over and over with Francine! 115 00:09:34,423 --> 00:09:37,426 Light as a butterfly was she, the poor little child... 116 00:09:38,176 --> 00:09:40,012 when we danced on Saint-Hyppolite's day... 117 00:09:40,554 --> 00:09:42,389 or on St. Peter's or our Lady's day... 118 00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:46,102 everywhere...only parties and dancing! 119 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:54,568 Now, my Cicisse...no more waltzes... 120 00:09:54,735 --> 00:09:57,447 only two knights, as stupid as the moon... 121 00:09:57,655 --> 00:09:58,781 under the moon! 122 00:10:00,491 --> 00:10:01,701 You're not going to start crying... 123 00:10:01,951 --> 00:10:04,079 you...old chimpanzee... 124 00:10:04,662 --> 00:10:06,789 But I miss her, my Francine... 125 00:10:07,165 --> 00:10:10,502 What do you want...women only happen to the living... 126 00:10:12,795 --> 00:10:13,713 Take a look! 127 00:10:15,090 --> 00:10:17,134 They're really beautiful, the stars! 128 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,762 They say there are millions and millions and millions... 129 00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:20,888 Just listen to this! 130 00:10:20,971 --> 00:10:22,097 Just listen to this! 131 00:13:26,538 --> 00:13:27,998 Come on, get in! 132 00:13:32,168 --> 00:13:33,420 What brings you here? 133 00:13:34,421 --> 00:13:35,547 Hey, Le Glaude... 134 00:13:35,714 --> 00:13:36,673 Get up! 135 00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:38,050 Come and see! 136 00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:40,803 There's a flying saucer in your field! 137 00:13:42,638 --> 00:13:43,597 What have you done? 138 00:13:43,764 --> 00:13:45,808 What terrible thing have you done? 139 00:13:48,269 --> 00:13:50,688 You've murdered him, you accursed assassin! 140 00:13:51,356 --> 00:13:53,441 You've massacred my best friend! 141 00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,030 He's asleep! 142 00:14:06,371 --> 00:14:08,748 But why did you come here, to my home... 143 00:14:08,957 --> 00:14:10,083 and not somewhere else? 144 00:14:12,377 --> 00:14:14,630 But if you don't tell me... 145 00:14:14,672 --> 00:14:16,924 I'll never know where you've escaped from... 146 00:14:16,965 --> 00:14:19,259 you old Denrée (foodstuff)? 147 00:14:54,587 --> 00:14:56,506 ...they're really beautiful, the stars! 148 00:14:56,381 --> 00:14:59,009 ...they say there are millions and millions and millions 149 00:14:59,009 --> 00:15:01,302 ...just listen to this!...just listen to this! 150 00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,234 It's me and Le Bombé! 151 00:15:16,694 --> 00:15:18,487 You've heard us fart from up there? 152 00:15:21,532 --> 00:15:23,951 But what did you think...that we were calling you? 153 00:15:27,038 --> 00:15:28,247 Really? 154 00:15:30,332 --> 00:15:32,835 Well, if you can't fart under the stars anymore without a Martian falling on your head... 155 00:15:32,835 --> 00:15:35,213 ...they'll be arriving by the wagonfuls! 156 00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,424 Sacré nom di Diou! 157 00:15:37,549 --> 00:15:40,843 You've given me a terrible thirst with all your antics! 158 00:16:07,830 --> 00:16:11,125 Well, old Denrée, we're in France...bottoms up!...hop! 159 00:16:12,168 --> 00:16:12,794 Come on! 160 00:16:14,128 --> 00:16:16,088 You don't like wine?...Your loss! 161 00:16:22,303 --> 00:16:25,307 Now excuse me, pal... if it's only when we burp or fart... 162 00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:27,350 that you understand us, we won't be chatting much! 163 00:16:27,684 --> 00:16:30,228 First of all, Le Bombé and I only fart outside... 164 00:16:30,354 --> 00:16:31,271 ...we have manners... 165 00:16:31,521 --> 00:16:32,981 We've been to restaurants! 166 00:16:35,358 --> 00:16:37,444 But wait a minute!...you're not thirsty... 167 00:16:37,903 --> 00:16:40,238 You're dying of hunger and you're ashamed to ask! Let's go! 168 00:16:41,615 --> 00:16:43,575 Look! This is cabbage soup! 169 00:16:43,575 --> 00:16:44,409 The real thing! 170 00:16:44,451 --> 00:16:46,203 Made with my own cabbage... 171 00:16:46,369 --> 00:16:49,540 ...a spring variety: the "hasty bacalan"! 172 00:16:55,463 --> 00:16:56,839 My lad, let's dig in! 173 00:17:03,888 --> 00:17:07,892 Now we wait a little, till it soaks up the broth... 174 00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,127 Never a dull moment with you, La Denrée! 175 00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:37,006 When I fart, you land on us from God knows where... 176 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:39,299 and when I smoke, you crash on the floor! 177 00:17:39,299 --> 00:17:40,175 Come on! 178 00:17:57,026 --> 00:18:00,405 My cabbage soup, laddie, perfumes your innards... 179 00:18:00,572 --> 00:18:02,865 ...makes you feel good along every inch of your guts... 180 00:18:02,865 --> 00:18:03,742 It sticks to the body... 181 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,745 ...it even does nice things to the head! 182 00:18:06,995 --> 00:18:09,247 Shall I tell you? It makes you a better person! 183 00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:47,078 OK, buddy, you're all set for the road! Let's go! 184 00:18:52,709 --> 00:18:54,627 Ah...you want to take some away? 185 00:18:55,044 --> 00:18:56,797 That's very easy, come along! 186 00:19:07,641 --> 00:19:11,228 See... with this you can go for miles without losing a drop! 187 00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:33,793 Cabbage soup! 188 00:19:34,752 --> 00:19:37,505 Cabbage soup, my laddie! 189 00:19:59,444 --> 00:20:01,614 I'll step out with you... 190 00:20:08,704 --> 00:20:09,580 Let's go... 191 00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:33,772 So that's it, my old Denrée... 192 00:20:33,897 --> 00:20:34,981 Bon voyage! 193 00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:39,903 Shake hands! 194 00:20:42,781 --> 00:20:43,907 Shake hands... 195 00:20:43,657 --> 00:20:45,492 That's it...like this...like this... 196 00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:50,039 And come back soon, La Denrée, you're a good guy! 197 00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:26,118 El Glaude! There's a flying saucer in your field! 198 00:21:26,201 --> 00:21:28,870 El Glaude! There's a flying saucer in your field! 199 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,539 Don't scream like that! 200 00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:34,709 I'm telling you...there's a saucer...There! In your field! 201 00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:37,838 What's with your saucer? First, what saucer? 202 00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,590 Flying...a flying saucer! 203 00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,009 You've never heard of flying saucers? 204 00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:43,469 But they don't exist, flying saucers! 205 00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,595 How much do you bet...1 liter? 206 00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:45,095 Three! 207 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:46,472 Three! You said three liters! Bet's on! 208 00:21:46,513 --> 00:21:47,265 Three liters! 209 00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:48,891 I had to pee... 210 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,310 It was warm, so I said to myself: go pee outside... 211 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,937 ...it'll be a change from the potty... 212 00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,897 I step out and I see a saucer... 213 00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:55,940 there, in your field! 214 00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:58,275 I couldn't pee anymore and I ran to warn you. 215 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,617 Where is it, your saucer? 216 00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:10,038 So, show it to me... 217 00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:15,794 It's gone... 218 00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:23,511 You had a nightmare...it happens... 219 00:22:24,261 --> 00:22:25,554 What did you eat for supper yesterday? 220 00:22:25,929 --> 00:22:26,888 Pig's foot... 221 00:22:28,099 --> 00:22:30,393 Nothing heavier on the stomach! 222 00:22:30,643 --> 00:22:33,938 So...your flying saucer...pig's foot! 223 00:22:39,944 --> 00:22:43,531 It was...it was white as chrome... 224 00:22:44,448 --> 00:22:46,868 ...at least 3 to 4 meters wide...it... 225 00:22:47,327 --> 00:22:49,454 ...was round like cow's cheese... 226 00:22:50,329 --> 00:22:52,707 ...it was beautiful...like a female's tit... 227 00:22:53,166 --> 00:22:54,501 It was right here... 228 00:22:58,422 --> 00:22:59,756 What are you looking for? 229 00:22:59,798 --> 00:23:02,342 What did you find?... Want a teeny-weeny spade? 230 00:23:02,425 --> 00:23:05,929 Merde! It was here, I'll never forget, it was here! 231 00:23:05,971 --> 00:23:07,264 Here, here,here! 232 00:23:07,305 --> 00:23:09,558 My little Cicisse, you drink too much! 233 00:23:09,558 --> 00:23:10,559 Go to hell! 234 00:23:10,559 --> 00:23:12,227 First you see saucers... 235 00:23:12,227 --> 00:23:15,148 and you end up seeing rats all over your bedspread! 236 00:23:15,356 --> 00:23:17,650 Go to hell, I'm telling you, I didn't have a drop more than usual! 237 00:23:17,775 --> 00:23:19,777 That's it! I'm going back to bed! 238 00:23:20,945 --> 00:23:23,072 I won't spend the night galloping after Martians! 239 00:23:25,241 --> 00:23:26,200 Merde! 240 00:23:30,121 --> 00:23:32,623 And don't forget you owe me 3 liters! 241 00:23:33,124 --> 00:23:36,169 3 liters of piss...3 liters of piss you'll get! 242 00:23:41,299 --> 00:23:42,550 Last night... 243 00:23:43,551 --> 00:23:44,928 ...around 1 a.m.... 244 00:23:45,971 --> 00:23:47,847 ...I felt a pressing need... 245 00:23:47,931 --> 00:23:48,973 and I... 246 00:23:49,182 --> 00:23:50,768 I stepped outside... 247 00:23:52,186 --> 00:23:53,228 and I saw... 248 00:23:53,312 --> 00:23:54,771 ...a flying saucer! 249 00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:00,485 Excuse me... 250 00:24:05,324 --> 00:24:08,161 I'm Mrs. Poulangeard's brother... 251 00:24:08,661 --> 00:24:14,459 I'm asking you not to believe one word of her flying saucer story... 252 00:24:14,918 --> 00:24:17,211 She's crazy inside out! 253 00:24:17,336 --> 00:24:18,879 Is that so? 254 00:24:20,590 --> 00:24:22,342 Thank you! 255 00:24:25,344 --> 00:24:27,847 Well...we're going to take down your statement... 256 00:24:28,890 --> 00:24:29,432 Hi, buddy... 257 00:24:31,393 --> 00:24:32,394 He's in, the Chief? 258 00:24:32,436 --> 00:24:33,603 One minute, he's busy. 259 00:24:34,146 --> 00:24:35,105 It won't be too long? 260 00:25:05,678 --> 00:25:07,138 I'm taking down your statement... 261 00:25:07,764 --> 00:25:09,974 Last night...aroud 1 a.m.... 262 00:25:10,391 --> 00:25:11,851 ...I felt a pressing need... 263 00:25:12,476 --> 00:25:13,687 Is that so? 264 00:25:14,604 --> 00:25:16,648 And...and you saw a flying saucer... 265 00:25:16,648 --> 00:25:17,648 Well, yes... 266 00:25:19,401 --> 00:25:24,072 Last night, at 1 a.m., a resident of Les Gourdiflots, Mrs. Amelie Poulangeard... 267 00:25:25,032 --> 00:25:28,535 ...who felt a pressing need...stepped out of her home... 268 00:25:28,785 --> 00:25:30,788 and saw a flying saucer... 269 00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:33,207 Oh, good, she's crazy to the bone! 270 00:25:33,457 --> 00:25:34,791 Precisely!... 271 00:25:34,875 --> 00:25:36,669 If a simpleton sees a flying saucer... 272 00:25:37,253 --> 00:25:39,713 it is quite evident that, a few meters away... 273 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:44,260 a certified drunk... will be sure to see one too... 274 00:25:44,260 --> 00:25:45,427 ...of those saucers!... 275 00:25:46,804 --> 00:25:50,683 Well...go on, you're dismissed...Mr. Chérasse! 276 00:25:51,183 --> 00:25:52,309 Ah, nom de Dieu! 277 00:25:52,643 --> 00:25:54,145 Ah, nom di Diou, for sure... 278 00:26:41,778 --> 00:26:45,239 Well then, old man, they say you've seen a flying saucer...? 279 00:26:45,323 --> 00:26:46,491 Of course I saw it! 280 00:26:46,700 --> 00:26:47,576 Sure, I saw it... 281 00:26:47,867 --> 00:26:48,618 Oh yes! 282 00:26:48,785 --> 00:26:51,287 Did it have stripes or dots? 283 00:26:53,540 --> 00:26:54,791 It...it was polished... 284 00:26:54,791 --> 00:26:57,585 Oh sure! Too polished to be honest...! (French saying) 285 00:26:59,296 --> 00:27:02,507 It was smooth...like a Champagne bucket... 286 00:27:03,508 --> 00:27:04,927 Oh...just get off my back! 287 00:27:56,521 --> 00:27:58,649 It's for you, my Francine, a beautiful geranium... 288 00:27:59,775 --> 00:28:01,443 Well, apart from that, no news... 289 00:28:01,443 --> 00:28:02,904 ...What could be new? 290 00:28:03,821 --> 00:28:05,990 When things aren't OK, you've got to cope... 291 00:28:05,990 --> 00:28:08,701 Aah...a Martian dropped in... 292 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,872 No, not a drop...I did drink...I didn't drink at all, I swear! 293 00:28:13,038 --> 00:28:15,625 Ever since you passed away, I haven't had a single "canon" (glass of wine)... 294 00:28:15,625 --> 00:28:18,252 and for the "pern...",well...I'll...OK...good.... 295 00:28:19,003 --> 00:28:21,881 OK, listen... see you one of these mornings and have fun! 296 00:28:23,091 --> 00:28:24,467 ...have fun! 297 00:28:34,353 --> 00:28:36,229 Can't you think about anything else? 298 00:28:36,271 --> 00:28:37,480 No! 299 00:28:37,564 --> 00:28:39,608 It's eating you, eh? 300 00:28:39,608 --> 00:28:40,817 Sure it's eating me! 301 00:28:41,401 --> 00:28:43,403 I look like an asshole all over Jaligny! 302 00:28:43,403 --> 00:28:44,905 You always looked like one! 303 00:28:44,905 --> 00:28:46,699 Could be, but now they have reasons... 304 00:28:47,241 --> 00:28:49,201 Shall I tell them that I saw the saucer too... 305 00:28:49,201 --> 00:28:51,162 so that we'll both look like morons! 306 00:28:51,287 --> 00:28:52,788 Oh, you're a good guy, but it's a waste of time... 307 00:28:52,788 --> 00:28:53,956 Come on, have a "canon"! 308 00:28:53,956 --> 00:28:55,457 All right, then I'll hang myself! 309 00:28:55,457 --> 00:28:56,709 You're not going to hang yourself! 310 00:28:56,918 --> 00:28:59,587 My Lulu, better death than dishonor... 311 00:28:59,587 --> 00:29:01,130 You have no right to terminate yourself, Francis! 312 00:29:02,048 --> 00:29:04,425 It's the first time you use my first name... 313 00:29:04,383 --> 00:29:06,385 You have family, neighbors, friends... 314 00:29:06,385 --> 00:29:08,763 I am all of those all by myself! 315 00:29:08,763 --> 00:29:09,806 Ah, you think only of yourself! 316 00:29:11,015 --> 00:29:13,560 I'm going through hell and you don't give a damn! 317 00:29:13,518 --> 00:29:17,063 What you want is for me to be your buffoon, your slave, 318 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,942 so you can make fun of my hump, because I saw a saucer... 319 00:29:19,983 --> 00:29:21,151 Come on, let's have a "canon"! 320 00:29:21,151 --> 00:29:22,485 I'm not thirsty! 321 00:29:30,910 --> 00:29:32,246 I want to be left alone! 322 00:30:57,834 --> 00:30:58,960 Le Bombé! 323 00:30:59,712 --> 00:31:00,754 Le Bombé! 324 00:31:01,630 --> 00:31:02,923 What are you up to? 325 00:31:09,179 --> 00:31:10,388 Le Bombé! 326 00:31:29,409 --> 00:31:31,077 You could answer when I call... 327 00:31:33,913 --> 00:31:35,498 It's to make you worry... 328 00:31:36,416 --> 00:31:40,086 you thought I was black as a lump of coal, hanging from a rope... 329 00:31:40,295 --> 00:31:43,673 You ought to be slapped, you phony... 330 00:31:44,382 --> 00:31:45,633 You'd hit me, wouldn't you...?! 331 00:31:45,842 --> 00:31:46,802 Don't you worry... 332 00:31:46,844 --> 00:31:49,763 You would beat me up, like the gendarmes did... 333 00:31:51,097 --> 00:31:52,558 They beat you up, the gendarmes? 334 00:31:52,725 --> 00:31:53,892 Like a punching-ball... 335 00:31:55,978 --> 00:31:57,897 You know they beat up everybody, the gendarmes... 336 00:31:58,314 --> 00:31:59,440 I...I didn't know... 337 00:31:59,648 --> 00:32:01,692 Oh yes...they get bonuses for that. 338 00:32:02,818 --> 00:32:07,156 Yes, my Glaude, they didn't hesitate to hit a handicapped man... 339 00:32:09,116 --> 00:32:10,243 I'm going to tell the Mayor... 340 00:32:10,243 --> 00:32:11,702 Don't do that! 341 00:32:13,537 --> 00:32:14,622 I forgive them... 342 00:32:16,041 --> 00:32:17,333 they know not what they do. 343 00:32:22,631 --> 00:32:23,923 You! You're making a fool of me! 344 00:32:24,299 --> 00:32:27,886 Well, I'm going to prepare... your little bowtie! 345 00:33:06,717 --> 00:33:08,512 Go ahead, hang yourself, it's ready... 346 00:33:08,595 --> 00:33:11,764 You can swing all you want, deadmeat, it's strong! 347 00:33:13,182 --> 00:33:14,476 You go hang yourself! 348 00:33:14,976 --> 00:33:16,645 I don't march to anybody's whistle... 349 00:33:17,020 --> 00:33:18,730 I'll hang myself whenever I please! 350 00:33:47,927 --> 00:33:50,346 Aaah...Thank you, my little Guillaume! 351 00:33:50,388 --> 00:33:52,056 Come on in for a drink! 352 00:33:54,725 --> 00:33:56,853 I never offer any to your colleagues, their ass is always on fire! 353 00:33:57,854 --> 00:33:58,938 I saw you on your pottie! 354 00:34:01,149 --> 00:34:03,193 Let's have a pot, but not from the same one! 355 00:34:03,193 --> 00:34:04,402 That shouldn't take long! 356 00:34:10,909 --> 00:34:13,495 They say that Le Bombé has seen a saucer... 357 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,372 He's batty...Everybody's making fun of him! 358 00:34:15,455 --> 00:34:16,790 Not surprising! 359 00:34:17,999 --> 00:34:19,794 Now he wants to hang himself! 360 00:34:20,628 --> 00:34:22,296 That's not too good... 361 00:34:26,759 --> 00:34:29,136 Sometimes... they really do it! 362 00:34:49,658 --> 00:34:52,452 Have you finished spying on me, ass-skinned face! 363 00:34:53,202 --> 00:34:55,747 Soon you'll be following me to the toilet, if it goes on! 364 00:34:55,747 --> 00:34:59,000 I don't give a damn about you, I came to see your vegetables! 365 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,169 Well, they're downstairs! 366 00:35:00,753 --> 00:35:04,548 You see, on mine there are slugs...slugs this big! 367 00:35:04,548 --> 00:35:06,759 Eat them, that's what you can do! 368 00:35:31,034 --> 00:35:34,704 Oh, Le Glaude! Help me, I'm dead! 369 00:35:37,499 --> 00:35:40,585 Help me, El Glaude! Oh, nom de Dieu! 370 00:35:41,878 --> 00:35:42,963 I'm coming! 371 00:35:42,963 --> 00:35:44,005 Let me die! 372 00:35:44,589 --> 00:35:46,216 What's happening to you, Le Bombé? 373 00:35:50,137 --> 00:35:53,891 I...I destroyed myself... but the rope snapped! 374 00:35:54,725 --> 00:35:57,853 I broke my kidneys...like crystal! 375 00:35:58,436 --> 00:36:00,231 I'm going to die, Le Glaude! 376 00:36:01,940 --> 00:36:03,066 Ow, my ass hurts! 377 00:36:05,528 --> 00:36:06,904 Oh my God, my ass hurts! 378 00:36:09,073 --> 00:36:10,282 What's the matter? 379 00:36:11,242 --> 00:36:12,785 I can't breathe! 380 00:36:14,620 --> 00:36:16,706 You know...I could've killed myself! 381 00:36:16,956 --> 00:36:18,458 Call the fire brigade! 382 00:36:18,458 --> 00:36:19,500 Why? Are you thirsty? 383 00:36:20,168 --> 00:36:21,836 Oh my God...I feel bad! 384 00:36:23,672 --> 00:36:27,050 You know what? My hump has burst! 385 00:36:27,383 --> 00:36:29,594 My hump has burst, I can't feel it anymore! 386 00:36:29,678 --> 00:36:32,013 No, calm down... it's still there, you won't be disfigured! 387 00:36:32,013 --> 00:36:33,056 It's there? 388 00:36:33,598 --> 00:36:35,309 You see, you're not in a thousand pieces! 389 00:36:36,101 --> 00:36:37,144 Come on, let's go! 390 00:36:37,144 --> 00:36:38,687 Geez, it hurts! 391 00:36:41,065 --> 00:36:42,274 My ass is all sliced up! 392 00:36:44,985 --> 00:36:47,279 My buttocks went into my stomach! 393 00:36:49,448 --> 00:36:50,574 Careful now! 394 00:37:00,209 --> 00:37:02,711 Oh no, not there, Claude, not there! 395 00:37:03,713 --> 00:37:05,089 Oh, my Glaude! 396 00:37:05,590 --> 00:37:08,217 Makes you thirsty to tie a noose round the neck... 397 00:37:17,727 --> 00:37:19,270 Oh, that's so good! 398 00:37:19,270 --> 00:37:23,358 Oh, my Claude, for sure it's the first and last time I ever die! 399 00:37:24,609 --> 00:37:28,864 But I was conscious, I saw that flying saucer, I saw it! 400 00:37:29,031 --> 00:37:30,824 With mine own eye's! 401 00:37:31,241 --> 00:37:32,367 We fart, Cicisse! 402 00:37:33,327 --> 00:37:34,954 We fart like the other night! 403 00:37:36,830 --> 00:37:39,292 You need to fart? Is your ass all screwed up? 404 00:37:39,458 --> 00:37:41,544 We have to fart! 405 00:37:43,253 --> 00:37:45,131 Fart already, nom di Diou! 406 00:37:46,174 --> 00:37:47,508 But I'm not up to it... 407 00:37:48,426 --> 00:37:50,387 I'm not in the mood for that! 408 00:37:59,729 --> 00:38:00,938 We have to fart! 409 00:38:17,789 --> 00:38:19,750 Oh, my poor Cicisse... 410 00:38:31,094 --> 00:38:33,264 You shouldn't have done it! 411 00:38:49,823 --> 00:38:50,574 Easy now! 412 00:38:50,574 --> 00:38:52,117 Let me give you a peck! 413 00:38:55,913 --> 00:38:57,956 Another peck! 414 00:39:01,126 --> 00:39:02,669 And another peck! 415 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:31,823 It's been nights and nights that I've been waiting for you to come down have a chat with me 416 00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:33,492 with your turkey noises... 417 00:41:36,829 --> 00:41:38,455 I'm here, Mr. Ratinier! 418 00:41:39,081 --> 00:41:40,666 You talk?! 419 00:41:41,083 --> 00:41:42,334 You talk?! 420 00:41:42,334 --> 00:41:43,752 You called me, I came! 421 00:41:45,922 --> 00:41:48,341 I called you... I called you... sort of... 422 00:41:48,341 --> 00:41:50,676 because, in that case, Chérasse called your too! 423 00:41:51,428 --> 00:41:54,639 You called me... more clearly than him! 424 00:41:56,515 --> 00:41:58,768 Nom di Diou, let's guzzle a "canon"! 425 00:42:08,528 --> 00:42:11,031 But... how did you learn our language? 426 00:42:11,031 --> 00:42:12,532 By listening to your people... 427 00:42:13,408 --> 00:42:16,245 every day, every hour, every minute... 428 00:42:16,370 --> 00:42:17,663 I come from planet Oxo... 429 00:42:17,663 --> 00:42:18,789 Really? 430 00:42:18,789 --> 00:42:21,500 A wee little planet, not even mentioned on your maps... 431 00:42:22,168 --> 00:42:26,171 If you knew how happy I am to see you again, my little fellow...! 432 00:42:26,798 --> 00:42:27,882 Me too, Mr. Ratinier! 433 00:42:29,300 --> 00:42:33,012 Listen, it's not because I could be your grandfather that you have to call me Mister... 434 00:42:33,012 --> 00:42:34,222 It's over, calling me Mister... 435 00:42:35,389 --> 00:42:37,433 I'm your age, Mr. Ratinier... 436 00:42:38,226 --> 00:42:39,727 Are you making fun of me, buddy? 437 00:42:39,853 --> 00:42:42,104 Geez, no... I'm 70, like you... 438 00:42:42,939 --> 00:42:47,026 But on Oxo, there's almost no change in us from beginning to end... 439 00:42:47,902 --> 00:42:50,614 It serves no purpose to change your appearance... 440 00:42:51,656 --> 00:42:53,992 Of course, it's useless... 441 00:42:54,159 --> 00:42:57,246 But down here, nobody asks us, we have to go through it... 442 00:42:57,246 --> 00:42:58,413 Take a look at me! 443 00:42:59,831 --> 00:43:02,126 There are others... look! 444 00:43:16,223 --> 00:43:17,141 A little "canon"! 445 00:43:17,891 --> 00:43:19,394 A "canon" is a wee drop of red wine! 446 00:43:19,561 --> 00:43:23,564 I understood that... it's a word that's often used in your language 447 00:43:23,564 --> 00:43:25,233 No thank you, I won't drink a " canon"... 448 00:43:27,235 --> 00:43:29,945 Well, maybe you people don't age much, but you don't have much fun either! 449 00:43:29,945 --> 00:43:31,907 We don't have any fun, as you say... 450 00:43:32,365 --> 00:43:34,826 Not one bit... never! 451 00:43:49,008 --> 00:43:51,510 This is much better than getting your ass kicked! 452 00:43:52,052 --> 00:43:54,722 My soup, please...I'm in a hurry! 453 00:43:54,722 --> 00:43:55,848 I'm on a mission. 454 00:43:55,848 --> 00:43:56,974 Let's go! 455 00:44:10,321 --> 00:44:13,324 Smell that... doesn't it smell great?! 456 00:44:13,324 --> 00:44:15,493 It smells of gardens, it smells of stables... 457 00:44:15,576 --> 00:44:18,079 it smells of the four seasons, it smells of the earth... 458 00:44:18,747 --> 00:44:21,916 the earrrrrrth, the EARRRRTH, "La Denrrrrée"... 459 00:44:21,958 --> 00:44:24,169 It smells of the earth after the raining... 460 00:44:24,169 --> 00:44:26,379 Over here, you don't say "the rain", you say "the raining", 461 00:44:26,379 --> 00:44:28,047 because it's even wetter! 462 00:44:29,633 --> 00:44:31,593 The earth... after "the raining"! 463 00:44:31,635 --> 00:44:33,803 That's it... spoken like a true "houmme" (man)! 464 00:44:34,012 --> 00:44:35,305 I speak like a true "houmme"? 465 00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,850 Come on, taste this... 466 00:44:53,408 --> 00:44:55,993 It's getting better and better, Le Glaude! 467 00:44:56,202 --> 00:45:00,957 Oh, you called me Le Glaude... that gives me pleasure! 468 00:45:01,207 --> 00:45:04,293 That proves that you're warm all over! 469 00:45:04,293 --> 00:45:05,337 Yes, Le Glaude... 470 00:45:06,588 --> 00:45:10,341 Oh, by the way, how did they find my soup up there? 471 00:45:11,343 --> 00:45:14,095 It has been found... dangerous! 472 00:45:14,888 --> 00:45:17,975 Dangerous?! Nobody has ever died from my soup! 473 00:45:18,850 --> 00:45:20,769 It's the first time I've ever heard anybody say that! 474 00:45:20,769 --> 00:45:22,353 That my soup is potentially lethal! 475 00:45:22,855 --> 00:45:28,068 Don't shout, Le Glaude! It's precisely because it's good that it's dangerous! 476 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:30,988 I don't get it! 477 00:45:31,947 --> 00:45:33,573 I don't get it at all! 478 00:45:33,865 --> 00:45:35,660 I'm going to explain, Le Glaude... 479 00:45:35,993 --> 00:45:37,244 On Oxo... 480 00:45:37,536 --> 00:45:40,707 we number 10,000 total, not one more, not one less! 481 00:45:41,791 --> 00:45:45,169 and we all live till age 200... 482 00:45:47,672 --> 00:45:50,341 We don't die in the way you understand... 483 00:45:50,466 --> 00:45:52,510 but it would take too long to explain. 484 00:45:53,470 --> 00:45:56,806 Apart from us, on Oxo, there is no animal life. 485 00:45:56,889 --> 00:45:59,017 There is no vegetal life, either. 486 00:45:59,684 --> 00:46:02,353 Not that it's impossible, but it's unnecessary. 487 00:46:02,854 --> 00:46:05,357 We feed on mineral extracts... 488 00:46:05,857 --> 00:46:06,983 You understand, Le Glaude? 489 00:46:07,233 --> 00:46:08,234 So you suck stones... 490 00:46:10,571 --> 00:46:12,572 We form a perfect society, 491 00:46:12,781 --> 00:46:14,949 and that's why we want to make sure 492 00:46:14,949 --> 00:46:19,204 that your soup presents no danger of decadence and sapping our energy. 493 00:46:19,830 --> 00:46:22,249 But since my soup is dangerous, don't touch it! 494 00:46:22,249 --> 00:46:23,667 Why does it bother you, my soup? 495 00:46:24,126 --> 00:46:25,377 And why do you obsess over it? 496 00:46:25,419 --> 00:46:28,798 If we knew that, we wouldn't have created a commission of inquiry! 497 00:46:29,507 --> 00:46:33,470 Do you know, Le Glaude, that your soup is the only thing they talk about, on Oxo? 498 00:46:34,512 --> 00:46:35,471 Really? 499 00:46:35,847 --> 00:46:37,932 Oh yes, Le Glaude! 500 00:47:00,956 --> 00:47:03,584 Ah, it's the picture of my Francine... 501 00:47:03,959 --> 00:47:05,335 on our wedding day... 502 00:47:06,586 --> 00:47:11,592 I had thick hair then, and Francine had pink thighs... 503 00:47:11,884 --> 00:47:13,719 She was beautiful, my Francine... 504 00:47:13,927 --> 00:47:16,681 Don't you think, La Denrée, that she was very cute? 505 00:47:16,722 --> 00:47:17,765 Yes, Le Glaude... 506 00:47:20,226 --> 00:47:22,770 They're not all bad, those creatures... 507 00:47:23,396 --> 00:47:27,525 Sometimes you can see in them a glimpse of Paradise... 508 00:47:27,567 --> 00:47:29,735 That happened to me, with Francine... 509 00:47:30,278 --> 00:47:31,947 Tiny glimpses... 510 00:47:34,157 --> 00:47:36,576 She died, God's poor little child... 511 00:47:37,076 --> 00:47:38,328 10 years ago... 512 00:47:39,121 --> 00:47:41,164 She was barely 60... 513 00:47:41,790 --> 00:47:44,334 I miss her very much, La Denrée... 514 00:47:44,501 --> 00:47:45,460 Come! 515 00:47:55,388 --> 00:48:00,976 You see...I cut a lock from my Francine's hair... 516 00:48:01,185 --> 00:48:04,480 just before they closed the coffin's lid... 517 00:48:05,856 --> 00:48:07,984 When I called you "Le Glaude"... 518 00:48:08,568 --> 00:48:12,906 you told me it gave you..."pleasure"... 519 00:48:13,114 --> 00:48:15,450 What is..."pleasure"? 520 00:48:16,075 --> 00:48:17,868 How would I know? 521 00:48:18,077 --> 00:48:19,371 What kind of question is that? 522 00:48:19,371 --> 00:48:21,915 Pleasure is...pleasure! 523 00:48:22,874 --> 00:48:24,458 It's like soup, red wine... 524 00:48:26,711 --> 00:48:30,298 Would it give you "pleasure" to see Francine again? 525 00:48:30,298 --> 00:48:33,885 Oh! It's not decent to laugh about those matters! 526 00:48:34,010 --> 00:48:35,929 Down here, we respect the dead... 527 00:48:35,970 --> 00:48:37,014 Are you in your right mind? 528 00:48:38,849 --> 00:48:40,642 I'm sorry, Le Glaude...! 529 00:48:42,853 --> 00:48:44,438 My soup! 530 00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:53,739 But tell me, you still have 130 years to live...! 531 00:48:54,073 --> 00:48:57,201 Yes, Le Glaude...and you? 532 00:48:57,285 --> 00:48:59,495 Me? 10 years tops! 533 00:48:59,745 --> 00:49:00,955 That's "shorty"! 534 00:49:02,874 --> 00:49:06,711 Your soup, Le Glaude, I would like to pay for it. 535 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:08,630 Pay me? I'd like to see that! 536 00:49:08,963 --> 00:49:10,631 Now I'm hurt, La Denrée... 537 00:49:10,631 --> 00:49:12,050 To talk about money in my home! 538 00:49:12,050 --> 00:49:14,969 I may not be rich, but I can still offer soup to a guest! 539 00:49:16,221 --> 00:49:17,556 Money? 540 00:49:17,681 --> 00:49:19,558 Yes,money...here it's nickels and dimes! 541 00:49:19,850 --> 00:49:21,476 And we need nickels and dimes over here! 542 00:49:21,643 --> 00:49:22,727 Nickels and dimes? 543 00:49:29,109 --> 00:49:30,486 You know what this is? 544 00:49:31,153 --> 00:49:33,113 It's a golden "louis" (old French coin). 545 00:49:33,739 --> 00:49:39,036 My uncle Anselme gave it to me as a reward for the high-school diploma I never got! 546 00:49:39,078 --> 00:49:42,457 Me neither...the licence for the saucer, 547 00:49:42,457 --> 00:49:44,542 I got it on the fourth try. 548 00:49:45,209 --> 00:49:47,337 You're like me, not too sharp! 549 00:49:47,420 --> 00:49:51,007 Oh, no...can you lend it to me? 550 00:49:56,679 --> 00:49:58,640 Nom di Diou, a little "canon"! 551 00:49:58,640 --> 00:49:59,558 No, Le Glaude... 552 00:49:59,558 --> 00:50:00,517 A little "canon"! 553 00:50:00,517 --> 00:50:01,351 No, Le Glaude... 554 00:50:01,351 --> 00:50:02,810 Half a little "canon"! 555 00:50:02,810 --> 00:50:03,853 No, Le Glaude... 556 00:50:06,231 --> 00:50:08,400 You'll die a twit, and a twit is an idiot! 557 00:50:08,483 --> 00:50:11,612 I know that... I talk like you, Le Glaude, you taught me! 558 00:50:11,987 --> 00:50:15,365 But up there, you have leaders, don't you, in your ant-hill? 559 00:50:15,365 --> 00:50:17,368 We have a Comittee of Heads... 560 00:50:17,910 --> 00:50:19,328 five renewable heads... 561 00:50:20,162 --> 00:50:22,456 Well, when you'll have a drink up your nose... 562 00:50:22,665 --> 00:50:25,417 You'll be the head of all the heads...you'll be the... 563 00:50:25,251 --> 00:50:27,002 BIG HEAD! 564 00:50:30,298 --> 00:50:34,677 Oh...with all your stories you've completely screwed up my mind. I'm pooped! 565 00:50:42,477 --> 00:50:47,315 I won't see you off...leave the barn open... 566 00:50:47,899 --> 00:50:51,027 Au revoir, My Glaude, you're a good guy! 567 00:50:51,027 --> 00:50:52,696 You too, my old "Denrée"! 568 00:50:57,075 --> 00:50:59,953 Oh, you'll be back soon...?! 569 00:51:00,537 --> 00:51:00,996 Yes, my Glaude! 570 00:51:03,874 --> 00:51:08,712 Hey, La Denrée...don't forget my "louis" has a return address...! 571 00:51:08,712 --> 00:51:10,131 Yes! 572 00:51:32,361 --> 00:51:34,364 But...but... I'm telling you... 573 00:51:34,948 --> 00:51:36,991 it... it was 3:00 a.m....and... 574 00:51:36,783 --> 00:51:38,034 and... and... 575 00:51:38,034 --> 00:51:39,077 One, two, three... 576 00:51:39,203 --> 00:51:40,704 Well... what about it? 577 00:51:47,044 --> 00:51:48,628 OK, let's go! 578 00:51:48,837 --> 00:51:52,132 Yes...as I was saying, it was 3:00 a.m.... 579 00:51:52,132 --> 00:51:54,635 as I felt a pressing need... 580 00:51:54,635 --> 00:51:56,721 I run out into the garden... 581 00:51:56,721 --> 00:51:58,472 and what do I see? 582 00:51:58,472 --> 00:52:00,140 a...a flying saucer! 583 00:52:00,349 --> 00:52:03,311 Yes... but it wasn't like the one of the other day... 584 00:52:03,936 --> 00:52:08,608 and then a man stepped out of it, holding a milk can... 585 00:52:08,983 --> 00:52:10,818 and Le Glaude, he was there... 586 00:52:10,818 --> 00:52:12,611 I mean Mr Ratinier, as you call him... 587 00:52:13,905 --> 00:52:17,158 and they...and they... they hugged each other... 588 00:52:17,992 --> 00:52:20,370 and then they ate... cabbage soup! 589 00:53:51,756 --> 00:53:53,842 You've been resurrected, poor old woman...! 590 00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:03,288 Le Glaude! 591 00:55:06,417 --> 00:55:07,584 Le Glaude! 592 00:55:12,756 --> 00:55:14,049 Le Glaude! 593 00:55:20,264 --> 00:55:21,557 Someone out there? 594 00:55:21,265 --> 00:55:22,892 Who... is it...? 595 00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:26,896 Don't be afraid, it's me! 596 00:55:28,023 --> 00:55:29,232 La Francine! 597 00:55:31,609 --> 00:55:33,403 Open up, Le Glaude, it's not warm... 598 00:55:43,663 --> 00:55:45,749 It... it's not possible! 599 00:55:46,875 --> 00:55:47,960 Here I am... 600 00:55:48,752 --> 00:55:49,836 I can see... 601 00:55:55,842 --> 00:55:57,386 It doesn't scare you too much? 602 00:55:58,179 --> 00:56:02,725 I...I just can believe you're talking to me and you're here! 603 00:56:08,690 --> 00:56:10,566 Let's not try to understand... 604 00:56:11,776 --> 00:56:12,777 we'd go mad! 605 00:56:22,412 --> 00:56:25,790 You're so beautiful, my Francine! 606 00:56:27,042 --> 00:56:30,211 I forgot how beautiful you were! 607 00:56:30,879 --> 00:56:33,674 Don't make fun of me...at my age... 608 00:56:34,466 --> 00:56:37,052 It's not right to laugh at someone who comes back from where I come... 609 00:56:37,927 --> 00:56:39,346 I'm still shaking all over... 610 00:56:41,223 --> 00:56:42,432 Wait...wait... 611 00:56:46,187 --> 00:56:47,313 Look, La Francine... 612 00:56:49,314 --> 00:56:51,484 See how beautiful you are... 613 00:56:56,447 --> 00:56:58,324 Oh La Francine, oh La Francine...! 614 00:56:58,324 --> 00:56:59,825 Vinegar! Vinegar! 615 00:57:00,618 --> 00:57:02,287 Where's the vinegar? 616 00:57:02,287 --> 00:57:03,580 Goddamit, where is it...? 617 00:57:03,580 --> 00:57:05,331 Oh mother...oh mother...! 618 00:57:08,001 --> 00:57:10,128 This isn't the time to faint! 619 00:57:12,547 --> 00:57:16,259 My little, little Francine...do you feel better? 620 00:57:22,224 --> 00:57:27,271 I'm here...Le Glaude...Le Glaude... 621 00:57:27,271 --> 00:57:28,438 Don't you recognize me anymore? 622 00:57:28,438 --> 00:57:31,942 Yes...but how old you are! 623 00:57:36,739 --> 00:57:40,826 Wait...see how beautiful you are! 624 00:57:47,041 --> 00:57:49,961 You're not going to cry...?! 625 00:57:51,879 --> 00:57:53,089 I'm so happy! 626 00:57:53,256 --> 00:57:55,050 Didn't I tell you you were beautiful? 627 00:57:58,261 --> 00:57:59,178 There...easy... 628 00:58:00,012 --> 00:58:00,931 I'm beautiful! 629 00:58:00,931 --> 00:58:01,973 Yes, you're beautiful! 630 00:58:01,973 --> 00:58:02,682 Very beautiful! 631 00:58:02,766 --> 00:58:04,350 Very beautiful! 632 00:58:05,143 --> 00:58:06,895 It's wonderful to be 20! 633 00:58:07,604 --> 00:58:09,940 I'm sure it's not unpleasant... 634 00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:16,071 Le Glaude...I live...I'm hungry...I'M HUNGRY!! 635 00:58:23,537 --> 00:58:24,997 5 minutes! 636 00:58:25,122 --> 00:58:26,165 Thank you, Glaude! 637 00:58:44,017 --> 00:58:45,226 Turn around! 638 00:58:50,649 --> 00:58:51,316 Turn around! 639 00:58:51,524 --> 00:58:55,112 But I've already seen you naked, even when you were you age! 640 00:58:55,112 --> 00:58:58,365 Don't start bugging me...turn around, I'm asking you...! 641 01:00:17,864 --> 01:00:19,115 Le Glaude, what are you doing? 642 01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:21,451 Well...I'd like to "arrange" you... 643 01:00:21,451 --> 01:00:22,494 "Arrange" me? 644 01:00:22,494 --> 01:00:24,788 Just try and I'll break the potty on your head! 645 01:00:26,331 --> 01:00:30,335 But, La Francine, you're my wife, and you're allowed to "arrange" your own wife... 646 01:00:30,335 --> 01:00:32,087 The potty on your head! 647 01:00:35,382 --> 01:00:39,929 Well, little brothers, that's a good start...! Oh well... 648 01:00:46,977 --> 01:00:49,104 I had to be a dream, Francine's return! 649 01:01:01,117 --> 01:01:03,495 You're wearing the latest fashion! 650 01:01:03,787 --> 01:01:05,872 You're right, a real scarecrow! 651 01:01:10,252 --> 01:01:12,545 You still have that filthy animal! 652 01:01:12,712 --> 01:01:14,590 It should be shot, this vermin... 653 01:01:14,923 --> 01:01:18,009 Speaking about vermin, Le Bombé, is he dead yet? 654 01:01:18,718 --> 01:01:20,387 No, he's not dead, he's sick! 655 01:01:20,512 --> 01:01:23,515 So, if you see him, tell him you're a great-niece of mine! 656 01:01:23,807 --> 01:01:26,185 I have to go to Jaligny, I have nothing to wear... give me some money! 657 01:01:26,227 --> 01:01:27,394 Well, how much do you want? 658 01:01:27,394 --> 01:01:29,855 Give me whatever I need! When you have a wife, you feed and clothe her! 659 01:01:29,855 --> 01:01:31,064 A wife...a wife...! 660 01:01:34,568 --> 01:01:36,236 Hey, it's my old-age retirement money! 661 01:01:36,278 --> 01:01:38,573 Now it's young people's retirement money, little father! 662 01:01:56,967 --> 01:01:58,093 Where's my bicycle? 663 01:02:02,014 --> 01:02:05,934 Tell me... what have you done with my bicycle? 664 01:02:05,975 --> 01:02:07,186 I sold your bike! 665 01:02:07,186 --> 01:02:08,312 You sold my bike?! 666 01:02:08,312 --> 01:02:10,230 Well, you don't usually pedal in coffins! 667 01:02:12,775 --> 01:02:15,694 While I'm away, you'll clear the table and wash the dishes! 668 01:02:15,778 --> 01:02:19,824 And instead of emptying mugs with your crony, you'd better scrub the floor! 669 01:02:19,991 --> 01:02:21,700 You can't even see the color of the floor tiles anymore! 670 01:02:21,700 --> 01:02:22,868 Now I won't allow you to speak like that! 671 01:02:23,035 --> 01:02:26,414 After all, I did bring you beautiful geraniums and beautiful petunias... 672 01:02:27,206 --> 01:02:30,209 From now on, you won't "arrange" me and no more chores either! 673 01:02:30,167 --> 01:02:32,670 All my life I've washed the sheets in the river, prepared the fridge... 674 01:02:33,045 --> 01:02:36,131 That life, I saw nothing of it, it flashed by like lightning without anything... 675 01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:40,303 So, one life lost, that's enough! I'm lucky enough to get a second chance... 676 01:02:40,595 --> 01:02:44,307 so I want to have fun, laugh and sing! That's it! 677 01:02:44,641 --> 01:02:47,894 But I must inform you that it's thanks to me that you're alive today! 678 01:02:48,729 --> 01:02:50,439 If I hadn't farted, you wouldn't be here... 679 01:02:50,439 --> 01:02:54,193 because, when I fart, La Denrée arrives right away in his flying saucer! 680 01:02:56,028 --> 01:02:59,614 Well well, you must have emptied quite a few barrels of cheap wine while I was gone! 681 01:03:01,700 --> 01:03:06,080 Well, little ones, little brothers, we're off to a real good start! 682 01:03:40,406 --> 01:03:41,617 Where are you headed? 683 01:03:41,617 --> 01:03:42,701 To Jaligny... 684 01:03:42,701 --> 01:03:43,869 Hop in, I'm going there too! 685 01:03:43,994 --> 01:03:45,078 - Let's go! - Thank you! 686 01:04:01,887 --> 01:04:04,516 I tore my dress... do I'll find a new one in Jaligny? 687 01:04:04,599 --> 01:04:07,685 Don't buy a dress, buy a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. 688 01:04:11,231 --> 01:04:12,732 You're not from around here, are you? 689 01:04:13,524 --> 01:04:19,155 I'm from Moulins, I came to take care of my great-uncle, Glaude Ratinier. 690 01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:22,909 Ha, Ratinier... Just put him on a water diet, he'll be cured instantly! 691 01:04:25,328 --> 01:04:26,788 What's your name? 692 01:04:26,704 --> 01:04:27,830 Francine... 693 01:04:28,165 --> 01:04:29,416 Mine is Catherine La Mouette... 694 01:04:30,375 --> 01:04:31,334 Great weather, don't you think? 695 01:04:48,769 --> 01:04:49,895 Let's go in, OK! 696 01:04:56,569 --> 01:04:57,696 Here's a T-shirt... 697 01:04:57,696 --> 01:04:58,988 Thank you! 698 01:05:04,744 --> 01:05:06,329 And here you are, pants... 699 01:05:07,830 --> 01:05:10,625 You have great breasts... I wish I had the same... 700 01:05:11,084 --> 01:05:13,128 Mine, next to yours, look like Laurel and Hardy...! 701 01:05:20,635 --> 01:05:22,346 Wow, it's superb like that! 702 01:05:22,346 --> 01:05:24,639 Not at all, it doesn't fit me at all, it's much too tight... 703 01:05:24,639 --> 01:05:27,476 It's very pretty and, what's more, it'll attract guys like flies... 704 01:05:28,561 --> 01:05:30,229 Where were you brought up, in the woods? 705 01:05:31,188 --> 01:05:32,356 There you go! 706 01:05:45,161 --> 01:05:47,288 You see, your T-shirt fits you like a glove! 707 01:05:47,371 --> 01:05:48,664 Hey, Catherine! 708 01:05:49,915 --> 01:05:50,917 Come, come! 709 01:05:54,796 --> 01:05:57,132 Let me introduce you to Lulu and Robert... Francine... 710 01:05:59,300 --> 01:06:02,804 Well, Lulu, what's going on? Step up to the next floor! 711 01:06:04,639 --> 01:06:07,183 Watch out! He's the biggest ladies' man of the gang! 712 01:06:34,962 --> 01:06:37,882 What's this attire?! You've lost your marbles, La Francine! 713 01:06:37,882 --> 01:06:40,260 Are you so hot that you have to go around almost bare-assed? 714 01:06:41,594 --> 01:06:43,972 It's at the cemetary that you learnt all those bad manners? 715 01:06:43,972 --> 01:06:45,181 I'm talking to you! 716 01:06:45,473 --> 01:06:47,600 Ho, you're a slut! 717 01:06:49,144 --> 01:06:51,480 No, I won't scrub the floor! 718 01:06:54,023 --> 01:06:55,067 And my change? 719 01:06:55,401 --> 01:06:56,527 Take it! 720 01:07:15,212 --> 01:07:18,716 But you've gone soft in the head, to show your ass like that to any passerby! 721 01:07:18,716 --> 01:07:20,468 But I'm only sunbathing, it's not a crime... 722 01:07:21,094 --> 01:07:22,970 Anyone could show up! 723 01:07:22,970 --> 01:07:26,224 So what? It's not disgusting! Some people pay to see women getting undressed! 724 01:07:26,307 --> 01:07:27,934 You wouldn't want me to take money for it, would you? 725 01:07:27,975 --> 01:07:31,605 But it's not done, nom di Diou, nom di Diou, you slut! 726 01:07:31,771 --> 01:07:34,565 You should have remained 6 ft. under, you vermin! 727 01:07:35,901 --> 01:07:39,654 It's nice to hear that! I've barely been alive 24 hours and you already wish me dead! 728 01:07:48,164 --> 01:07:51,500 Anyway, you should know before it's your turn to die, that I slept with Le Bombé! 729 01:07:52,876 --> 01:07:54,754 You slept with Le Bombé? 730 01:07:54,754 --> 01:07:58,006 You're not amused, are you? You'd like to see me back in my grave, wouldn't you? 731 01:07:57,923 --> 01:07:59,926 Exactly, I slept with Le Bombé! 732 01:07:59,926 --> 01:08:01,010 When? A little while ago? 733 01:08:01,010 --> 01:08:03,429 Of course not, you twit, not a while ago but when you were a prisoner! 734 01:08:04,805 --> 01:08:06,015 Touch me and you're dead! 735 01:08:06,557 --> 01:08:07,725 I was never told... 736 01:08:07,767 --> 01:08:09,226 We weren't going to tell you... 737 01:08:09,185 --> 01:08:10,769 Why did you do that? 738 01:08:11,813 --> 01:08:13,022 I was bored... 739 01:08:15,191 --> 01:08:19,112 He was bored... you were so far away... 740 01:08:19,612 --> 01:08:21,030 It was nothing... 741 01:08:21,781 --> 01:08:24,409 So, in the end, you were just a... 742 01:08:25,243 --> 01:08:28,163 Not even that... I was a lonely woman... 743 01:08:29,540 --> 01:08:30,624 Forgive me! 744 01:08:30,624 --> 01:08:31,667 No! 745 01:08:32,959 --> 01:08:34,879 But that was 40 years ago...! 746 01:08:34,879 --> 01:08:36,130 For me, that's all new! 747 01:08:36,422 --> 01:08:39,549 I've just been told I'm a cuckold, and I'm supposed to feel good about it! 748 01:08:39,841 --> 01:08:42,011 But you can't be a cuckold 40 years after the fact! 749 01:08:42,887 --> 01:08:46,849 When you came back, it was all over, and I loved you just like before... 750 01:08:47,850 --> 01:08:49,143 I swear to it! 751 01:08:49,143 --> 01:08:50,728 It's enough to drive you crazy! 752 01:08:50,978 --> 01:08:51,854 You mustn't! 753 01:08:53,356 --> 01:08:54,690 You don't mind if I go out? 754 01:08:55,441 --> 01:08:56,442 Where to? 755 01:08:56,442 --> 01:08:58,027 To the ball with Catherine La Mouette... 756 01:08:58,570 --> 01:08:59,737 The little La Mouette? 757 01:08:59,946 --> 01:09:02,031 Not that little... we're both 20! 758 01:09:02,031 --> 01:09:04,993 I'll never get used to your goddamn 20 years old! 759 01:09:04,993 --> 01:09:07,328 Go dance, have fun and come home whenever you want! 760 01:09:07,787 --> 01:09:08,830 Thank you, Glaude! 761 01:09:09,915 --> 01:09:12,626 I'm no longer your husband, your father, your grandfather... 762 01:09:12,959 --> 01:09:14,836 Yes, but you're a good man, my Glaude! 763 01:09:14,836 --> 01:09:15,879 I'm off! 764 01:09:57,923 --> 01:09:59,174 Hands up, Judas! 765 01:10:00,467 --> 01:10:01,885 Don't be an asshole! What's gotten into you? 766 01:10:02,010 --> 01:10:03,846 What's gotten into me is that I'm a cuckold! 767 01:10:04,429 --> 01:10:06,306 And by you, vermin! 768 01:10:09,268 --> 01:10:11,853 But how can you be a cuckold, you don't even have a wife?! 769 01:10:12,271 --> 01:10:17,234 I used to have one, and you "arranged" her when I was a prisoner... 770 01:10:20,028 --> 01:10:23,324 It never happened, I swear on my mother's head! 771 01:10:31,957 --> 01:10:33,960 This one is for wild boar... 772 01:10:34,961 --> 01:10:37,046 this one, for elephants... 773 01:10:38,131 --> 01:10:42,010 Now, I'll have your mug go through the wall! 774 01:10:42,010 --> 01:10:43,553 No, you're right, Glaude! 775 01:10:45,138 --> 01:10:47,891 I did "arrange" La Francine while you were away... 776 01:10:49,810 --> 01:10:51,061 How did you do it? 777 01:10:52,145 --> 01:10:53,897 Well... like everybody else... 778 01:10:53,980 --> 01:10:57,192 I'm not asking for details! How did it happen? 779 01:10:57,317 --> 01:10:58,902 Well... we were bored... 780 01:10:59,945 --> 01:11:03,115 I... was bored...it was winter, you weren't there... 781 01:11:03,616 --> 01:11:07,160 I used to chop her wood... she'd bring me a bowl of soup... 782 01:11:07,954 --> 01:11:12,541 we'd chat a little... we weren't old...it just happened... 783 01:11:13,459 --> 01:11:14,877 But we felt guilty, Le Glaude... 784 01:11:15,336 --> 01:11:16,420 And you did it again? 785 01:11:16,420 --> 01:11:18,047 Oh... as often as we could! 786 01:11:19,716 --> 01:11:21,134 But wracked all over by guilt... 787 01:11:22,552 --> 01:11:24,845 Ahh... you ruined so many nights for us... 788 01:11:24,845 --> 01:11:26,723 Excuuuuse me!!! 789 01:11:27,932 --> 01:11:29,142 Shoot me, Le Glaude! 790 01:11:29,934 --> 01:11:32,979 Shoot me! I don't deserve your forgiveness! 791 01:11:33,271 --> 01:11:35,565 Shoot me, or I'll hang myself for real! 792 01:11:35,565 --> 01:11:37,317 And I won't bungle it this time! 793 01:11:37,317 --> 01:11:39,361 Shoot me! I'm just a piece of garbage... 794 01:11:39,903 --> 01:11:41,488 a lump of dogshit... 795 01:11:41,488 --> 01:11:44,116 You can't be a cuckold 40 years after the fact! 796 01:11:45,284 --> 01:11:46,201 How about a "canon"...? 797 01:11:46,368 --> 01:11:47,536 Let's drink a "canon"! 798 01:11:56,170 --> 01:11:58,130 Anyway... my Glaude... 799 01:11:58,714 --> 01:12:00,007 I have to tell you something... 800 01:12:00,425 --> 01:12:02,635 I only had one woman, and she was yours... 801 01:12:54,939 --> 01:12:57,525 I'm going away, my Glaude, but I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to you... 802 01:12:57,525 --> 01:12:58,692 You're going away? 803 01:12:58,692 --> 01:12:59,736 To Paris. 804 01:12:59,736 --> 01:13:01,279 To Paris? You're crazy! 805 01:13:01,779 --> 01:13:03,573 It's the only place we'll find work, with Robert... 806 01:13:05,242 --> 01:13:07,452 Do you know at least if he's a good man? 807 01:13:11,123 --> 01:13:12,124 I'll find out over time... 808 01:13:12,374 --> 01:13:14,292 If it doesn't pan out, I'll change... 809 01:13:15,376 --> 01:13:16,795 You're not too hurt that I'm going away? 810 01:13:17,713 --> 01:13:20,465 You...you have to follow your own mind... 811 01:13:20,882 --> 01:13:23,344 Exactly...our minds are not alike anymore, we would just yell at each other.. 812 01:13:23,344 --> 01:13:24,345 Don't you agree? 813 01:13:25,804 --> 01:13:28,223 You're the only one I've ever loved, La Francine... 814 01:13:28,641 --> 01:13:30,643 Same with me...Le Bombé, I never loved him, you know? 815 01:13:30,893 --> 01:13:31,935 I know that now... 816 01:13:32,353 --> 01:13:35,148 You have to be as happy as can be...! 817 01:13:37,608 --> 01:13:38,651 You're not mad at me? 818 01:13:38,901 --> 01:13:41,404 Why should I be mad at you, my little girl? 819 01:13:42,530 --> 01:13:43,573 I have to kiss you, my Glaude... 820 01:13:43,823 --> 01:13:44,824 Oh, I stink of wine... 821 01:13:44,907 --> 01:13:46,034 Don't talk nonsense! 822 01:13:49,662 --> 01:13:53,416 I wish you... all the happiness, my Francine... 823 01:13:54,584 --> 01:13:55,752 Me too, my Glaude... 824 01:14:36,544 --> 01:14:40,298 La Denrée, La Denrée...oh, I wasn't expecting you! 825 01:14:41,424 --> 01:14:42,759 But what's all this? 826 01:14:44,469 --> 01:14:48,264 I've been promoted... I'm not Oxian 2nd class anymore, I'm Oxian 1st class now! 827 01:14:48,932 --> 01:14:50,058 And thanks to you, Le Glaude! 828 01:14:50,058 --> 01:14:50,893 Thanks to me? 829 01:14:50,893 --> 01:14:52,519 Yes, thanks to your soup! 830 01:14:52,769 --> 01:14:55,814 They gave me the flying saucer that takes two hours instead of three! 831 01:14:56,064 --> 01:14:59,985 Now didn't I tell you you would be promoted, didn't I tell you?!! 832 01:15:00,402 --> 01:15:05,658 And that you had to start drinking "canons" to climb all over their heads, those "five heads" of yours! 833 01:15:06,408 --> 01:15:07,367 If you have any ambition... 834 01:15:07,367 --> 01:15:08,411 Oh no... 835 01:15:08,703 --> 01:15:10,913 If you have any ambition... you'll get there... 836 01:15:13,499 --> 01:15:16,752 Over here, the bigwigs only drink wine... 837 01:15:16,752 --> 01:15:18,421 but not your lowly soldier's wine... 838 01:15:18,546 --> 01:15:20,757 but wine corked and sealed... 839 01:15:21,299 --> 01:15:23,342 that we couldn't afford for ourselves... 840 01:15:23,593 --> 01:15:26,012 since we're the ones who make them pay for it! 841 01:15:26,471 --> 01:15:27,681 Come on, come on! 842 01:15:30,099 --> 01:15:34,396 Oh, I say, little buddy, I really could have done without you resurrecting my poor wife! 843 01:15:35,188 --> 01:15:38,984 It caused such a ruckus and, worse, such misery! 844 01:15:39,401 --> 01:15:41,194 I couldn't predict that, Le Glaude! 845 01:15:41,236 --> 01:15:42,612 Oh well, I'm not mad at you... 846 01:15:42,612 --> 01:15:45,366 if that makes her happy, I thank you anyway, for her sake... 847 01:15:46,116 --> 01:15:49,662 My Claude, I'm giving you back your golden Louis! 848 01:15:49,912 --> 01:15:51,747 My old Denrée...! 849 01:15:52,081 --> 01:15:52,998 My old Glaude...! 850 01:16:14,813 --> 01:16:18,316 But there's millions... millions... BILLIONS!!! 851 01:16:18,316 --> 01:16:20,986 It's just two minutes' work for a wee chemistry student! 852 01:16:26,867 --> 01:16:28,034 Help me, help me... 853 01:16:43,801 --> 01:16:44,927 Le Glaude...! 854 01:16:45,427 --> 01:16:46,845 From analysis to analysis, 855 01:16:46,929 --> 01:16:51,142 we have concluded that your soup is a soup called "pleasure"... 856 01:16:52,017 --> 01:16:53,352 So it's not poisonous anymore...?! 857 01:16:54,104 --> 01:16:55,980 Right now we are testing how to smile... 858 01:16:56,356 --> 01:16:59,860 since a smile is the outward expression of "pleasure"! 859 01:17:00,068 --> 01:17:03,237 It's a considerable event... a revolution!!! 860 01:17:04,030 --> 01:17:04,989 Le Glaude...! 861 01:17:06,241 --> 01:17:09,160 You must absolutely come live with us 862 01:17:09,452 --> 01:17:11,120 since you know how to plant cabbage 863 01:17:11,120 --> 01:17:12,498 and none other could manage! 864 01:17:13,123 --> 01:17:14,041 He's gone batty! 865 01:17:15,250 --> 01:17:16,876 He's gone batty! He's gone batty! 866 01:17:19,046 --> 01:17:20,714 He's gone batty! He's gone batty! 867 01:17:20,839 --> 01:17:22,007 No, I'm not batty! 868 01:17:24,426 --> 01:17:30,641 Oxo is a planet with oxygen, where you'll live to be 200, free of sickness and infirmity! 869 01:17:31,142 --> 01:17:32,184 And when you'll be up there... 870 01:17:32,977 --> 01:17:37,064 you'll still have 130 years to live, instead of 10, with lots of luck! 871 01:17:37,064 --> 01:17:38,941 He is baaaaatty! 872 01:17:39,900 --> 01:17:43,404 But I don't see myself living 130 years without a drink or a smoke... 873 01:17:43,488 --> 01:17:46,741 with a stone for lunch, a capsule for supper... 874 01:17:47,993 --> 01:17:54,916 I'd rather drag myself, for the next 5 or 10 years, from my cool cellar to my beautiful garden! 875 01:18:16,105 --> 01:18:18,190 Oxo? Earth! Oxo? Earth! 876 01:18:19,066 --> 01:18:19,984 Earth! Oxo? 877 01:18:45,343 --> 01:18:46,595 You're getting scolded, aren't you?! 878 01:18:46,678 --> 01:18:53,685 Not at all! A fleet of spaceships will deliver to Oxo everything you'll ever need during your long life! 879 01:18:53,936 --> 01:18:58,524 Including tobacco and wine, garanteed to be free of mold and growths! 880 01:18:58,941 --> 01:19:02,277 I'll never set foot on your shitty dump! Do you understand? There! 881 01:19:06,490 --> 01:19:08,158 If you think I'm going to leave my house... 882 01:19:08,617 --> 01:19:10,620 and forget about Le Bombé who's my best friend... 883 01:19:10,870 --> 01:19:14,123 then you're insane, fit to be tied with rope for towing tractors! 884 01:19:16,250 --> 01:19:20,421 But Mr. Chérasse can go with you, since you can't reproduce yourselves! 885 01:19:22,340 --> 01:19:23,883 You take me for a fool, don't you? 886 01:19:24,425 --> 01:19:27,554 And our cat, there, who is going through the misery of old age, 887 01:19:27,554 --> 01:19:30,765 we'd let him die all alone, without the slightest caress? 888 01:19:30,974 --> 01:19:32,058 Is he in danger of dying? 889 01:19:32,058 --> 01:19:35,604 Absolutely right! He's 13, and he's in danger of not reaching 14! 890 01:19:36,896 --> 01:19:40,901 If I did that, I could never shave without spitting on my face in the mirror! 891 01:19:40,901 --> 01:19:42,569 You can bring him along too...! 892 01:19:43,153 --> 01:19:46,031 He'll live to be 200 years old, like you and me... 893 01:19:46,031 --> 01:19:48,533 You're just like old women, you always have the last word... 894 01:19:49,451 --> 01:19:51,454 You twist my arteries... 895 01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:53,956 We shouldn't have farted that night, 896 01:19:53,997 --> 01:19:56,417 and you wouldn't have been drawn to this place, like a fly to a pile of shit! 897 01:20:19,566 --> 01:20:22,319 Do you really mean it, Le Glaude, what you've just said? 898 01:20:22,319 --> 01:20:23,361 Perfectly! 899 01:20:24,529 --> 01:20:27,616 You shouldn't, because, me, I like you, Le Glaude... 900 01:20:28,283 --> 01:20:32,955 Even if they often chide me on Oxo that it's bad luck to like people... 901 01:20:36,208 --> 01:20:37,835 That's what they tell you, your savages? 902 01:20:39,837 --> 01:20:42,714 Well, me too, I like you, La Denrée! 903 01:20:43,341 --> 01:20:44,926 And I'm not ashamed of it! 904 01:20:45,760 --> 01:20:48,178 So you really do like me, Le Glaude? 905 01:20:48,429 --> 01:20:52,183 Yeeeees, my old Denréééée...! 906 01:20:52,308 --> 01:20:55,020 Ahhh...nom di Diou, nom di Diou... 907 01:20:55,353 --> 01:20:56,980 Pour me a "canon", Le Glaude! 908 01:20:57,063 --> 01:20:57,730 How's that? 909 01:20:57,772 --> 01:21:00,859 Don't you get it? Pour me a "canon", nom di Diou!!! 910 01:21:21,380 --> 01:21:28,637 Minute! A "canon", get this, is not only wine, but friendship too! 911 01:21:39,523 --> 01:21:40,566 Ahhh...nom di Diou! 912 01:21:58,167 --> 01:21:59,168 Le Glaude!!!! 913 01:22:00,921 --> 01:22:04,507 Back home there are only crazies in the government... 914 01:22:05,176 --> 01:22:07,803 and I'm going to replace them all by myself... 915 01:22:08,178 --> 01:22:11,223 and boot them out with kicks in the ass! Get it? 916 01:22:11,349 --> 01:22:12,975 What do you think, Le Glaude? 917 01:22:13,559 --> 01:22:18,314 I think you're already quite drunk and that you should go back up there before it's too late! 918 01:22:18,898 --> 01:22:20,232 Here you go... 919 01:22:22,067 --> 01:22:22,986 Your box! 920 01:22:23,736 --> 01:22:27,448 The Comittee of Heads has authorized me to leave it with you 921 01:22:27,573 --> 01:22:29,742 in order to speak with you at any time... 922 01:22:30,827 --> 01:22:34,121 Wh..what would I do with it, I can barely wind up a watch! 923 01:22:34,121 --> 01:22:35,498 You won't have to touch it... 924 01:22:36,207 --> 01:22:39,502 Whenever we'll want to talk, it'll light up, that's all! 925 01:22:40,379 --> 01:22:42,547 But Le Bombé, when he'll see this gizmo, he'll... 926 01:22:43,757 --> 01:22:45,925 He won't see it, the box... 927 01:22:47,135 --> 01:22:49,387 It'll be invisible to him... 928 01:22:51,723 --> 01:22:55,769 It is tuned only to your personal airwaves, yours only! 929 01:23:05,488 --> 01:23:06,697 A kiss, Le Glaude! 930 01:23:07,198 --> 01:23:09,784 Bye-bye now...my old Denrée... 931 01:23:30,180 --> 01:23:31,389 See who's here! Mr. Mayor! 932 01:23:33,392 --> 01:23:34,893 Ah, my children, I have news! 933 01:23:35,769 --> 01:23:37,771 Come... news... come! 934 01:23:39,648 --> 01:23:40,649 Good morning, Mr. Mayor! 935 01:23:40,941 --> 01:23:43,902 The prefecture has just authorized a large construction project for Les Gourdiflots! 936 01:23:43,944 --> 01:23:46,572 We're getting it, our new town, our entertainment park... 937 01:23:47,281 --> 01:23:48,740 The bulldozers attack tomorrow! 938 01:23:49,533 --> 01:23:54,121 Economic expansion, it's the wealth of the community! 939 01:23:54,121 --> 01:23:55,497 Aimée, drinks all around! 940 01:24:00,836 --> 01:24:01,920 To your health! 941 01:25:06,612 --> 01:25:07,739 We can't hear ourselves talk! 942 01:25:14,371 --> 01:25:16,498 We're going to treat ourselves to a good dose of "perniflard"! 943 01:25:29,428 --> 01:25:31,389 Oh nom di Diou! The Mayor! 944 01:26:10,262 --> 01:26:11,680 Good morning, Mr. Mayor... 945 01:26:11,973 --> 01:26:13,557 Well then... 946 01:26:14,516 --> 01:26:17,060 You didn't want to see Mr. Mayor, eh...? 947 01:26:18,354 --> 01:26:20,523 Ah, you old-timers... 948 01:26:21,899 --> 01:26:24,986 Ooooh...not a dull moment, eh? 949 01:26:25,611 --> 01:26:28,781 Hands on the "apéro", and it's not even noon...! 950 01:26:30,241 --> 01:26:33,661 So this is how old workers while away their retirement! 951 01:26:36,706 --> 01:26:37,957 You'll drink a toast with us, won't you? 952 01:26:37,957 --> 01:26:39,125 That's an offer I can't refuse! 953 01:26:43,296 --> 01:26:48,635 Anyway, Mr. Mayor, what brings you over... no problems, I hope... 954 01:26:48,844 --> 01:26:51,221 Oh no, it's more like good news! 955 01:26:51,763 --> 01:26:53,224 Wait!... wait! 956 01:26:54,058 --> 01:26:56,935 I have to explain the situation as it is! 957 01:27:00,022 --> 01:27:01,982 Maybe you haven't heard, since you live away from the village... 958 01:27:02,649 --> 01:27:06,529 but what this community needs is economic expansion! 959 01:27:07,613 --> 01:27:12,201 What all French villages lack is... economic expansion! 960 01:27:12,618 --> 01:27:17,707 And what is more, an economic expansion that will create jobs! 961 01:27:18,499 --> 01:27:21,585 That's something that didn't exist in your youth! 962 01:27:22,629 --> 01:27:27,383 My dear co-citizens and friends, listen carefully, it concerns you... 963 01:27:27,842 --> 01:27:30,137 You know about the housing project "Les Gourdiflets"? 964 01:27:30,137 --> 01:27:31,721 Oh, our ears are still ringing...! 965 01:27:32,430 --> 01:27:35,392 Well, to make this housing project complete, 966 01:27:35,642 --> 01:27:38,144 we're going to create right here, where you live, 967 01:27:38,186 --> 01:27:40,022 an entertainment park! 968 01:27:40,564 --> 01:27:44,776 There'll be restaurants, pubs, swings, everything you need to have fun! 969 01:27:45,360 --> 01:27:47,154 For everything, people will have to pay! 970 01:27:47,530 --> 01:27:51,158 They'll have to take out their wallets every two minutes! 971 01:27:53,452 --> 01:27:56,663 Instead of Le Glaude's shack... a parking lot... 972 01:27:58,249 --> 01:27:59,959 ...4000 cars!! 973 01:28:01,961 --> 01:28:04,005 And instead of Le Glaude's fields... 974 01:28:04,339 --> 01:28:07,883 10,000 beach chairs and intelligent music! 975 01:28:08,134 --> 01:28:11,096 And instead of my shack, what's there going to be? 976 01:28:13,056 --> 01:28:15,434 "The Rock of the Monkeys"!!! 977 01:28:18,103 --> 01:28:19,229 Get the hell out! 978 01:28:19,354 --> 01:28:21,607 You piece of shit... get the hell out! 979 01:28:22,649 --> 01:28:25,068 Ah, I warned them at the municipal coucil 980 01:28:25,068 --> 01:28:28,238 that you would be troublemakers, just to spite us! 981 01:28:29,948 --> 01:28:33,202 If you weren't old and sick, I would have you expropriated! 982 01:28:33,202 --> 01:28:35,704 But don't laugh too soon, Chérasse and Ratinier... 983 01:28:36,413 --> 01:28:38,040 ...very soon we'll win! 984 01:28:47,883 --> 01:28:53,347 The bulldozers and the shovels, they'll be roaring in your ears, I guarantee you that! 985 01:28:53,347 --> 01:28:54,390 Out! 986 01:28:54,599 --> 01:28:58,770 Human wrecks...pile of old bones...Me! Out? 987 01:29:00,521 --> 01:29:02,274 You'll be happy on Sundays 988 01:29:02,774 --> 01:29:05,193 when people will watch you through the fence 989 01:29:05,610 --> 01:29:10,157 and will throw you peanuts for fun, old wrecks! 990 01:30:04,796 --> 01:30:09,802 I told you so, that I'd make your life hell, old fossils... 991 01:30:10,552 --> 01:30:12,429 and when you'll be at the cemetary, 992 01:30:12,972 --> 01:30:15,516 our community, having gotten rid of you deadweights 993 01:30:16,100 --> 01:30:22,231 will finally be able to spread the wings of economic expansion!!! 994 01:30:23,107 --> 01:30:27,153 Old fossils! I'll cook your goose, I will! 995 01:30:49,801 --> 01:30:52,762 The two nitwits! The two nitwits! The two nitwits!... 996 01:30:55,224 --> 01:30:59,269 Oh no, no, no...I can't anymore...I can't anymore... 997 01:31:02,731 --> 01:31:05,777 No, no,no...It's over, it's over, its over... 998 01:31:07,153 --> 01:31:09,321 Wait..a little "canon"! 999 01:31:09,446 --> 01:31:10,656 a little "canon"... 1000 01:31:15,369 --> 01:31:18,790 Tell me, Cicisse, how would you like to live 200 years? 1001 01:31:18,873 --> 01:31:20,249 You're talking nonsense... 1002 01:31:20,500 --> 01:31:22,168 No, I'm just asking you one single thing... 1003 01:31:22,418 --> 01:31:24,879 would you like to live till age 200? 1004 01:31:25,005 --> 01:31:26,172 Well, certainly not here! 1005 01:31:26,381 --> 01:31:28,174 That's the thing...it wouldn't happen here... 1006 01:31:29,134 --> 01:31:32,595 Would it be on the moon, I'd pack up my bundle right away! 1007 01:31:33,054 --> 01:31:36,934 Only one thing would bother me, my Glaude: to leave you here, drinking all by yourself... 1008 01:31:37,642 --> 01:31:38,810 for 130 years! 1009 01:31:39,060 --> 01:31:42,439 That's why we'd leave together, with the cat too! 1010 01:31:44,900 --> 01:31:46,819 He too would live to be 200? 1011 01:31:46,819 --> 01:31:48,362 Of course! So you agree? 1012 01:31:49,822 --> 01:31:52,617 Yes!...Yes!...Yes! Mon Gla! 1013 01:31:53,117 --> 01:31:55,036 Let's get the hell out, Mon Gla! 1014 01:31:58,665 --> 01:31:59,874 Oxo? Earth! 1015 01:32:01,042 --> 01:32:02,251 Oxo? Earth! 1016 01:32:03,127 --> 01:32:04,796 OXO? EARTH! 1017 01:32:04,921 --> 01:32:06,130 You're there, La Denrée? 1018 01:32:06,547 --> 01:32:08,049 I'm here, Le Glaude! 1019 01:32:08,883 --> 01:32:11,052 La Denrée, there's news! 1020 01:32:11,761 --> 01:32:14,847 Le Bombé is willing to go, and with the cat! 1021 01:32:15,139 --> 01:32:16,183 And you, Le Glaude? 1022 01:32:16,600 --> 01:32:20,145 Well, if the cat and Le Bombé leave, I follow them, of course! 1023 01:32:20,186 --> 01:32:23,440 At last, at last, you give me "pleasure", Le Glaude! 1024 01:32:23,440 --> 01:32:24,983 Le Bombé is here, talk to him! 1025 01:32:25,525 --> 01:32:29,780 So, tinker with you airwaves so he can hear you and see the box! 1026 01:32:30,322 --> 01:32:32,282 I'm calling back in 2 minutes! 1027 01:32:32,282 --> 01:32:34,327 OK, I'll bring him over! 1028 01:32:49,216 --> 01:32:51,886 Sit yourself here so you won't hit the floor with your ass! 1029 01:32:57,267 --> 01:33:00,937 Look!...Look! 1030 01:33:05,108 --> 01:33:06,860 I can't see anything... 1031 01:33:06,943 --> 01:33:07,860 I can't hear anything... 1032 01:33:07,944 --> 01:33:09,238 Shut up! Don't disturb the airwaves! 1033 01:33:09,238 --> 01:33:10,280 Look! 1034 01:33:13,366 --> 01:33:14,576 Mr. Chérasse... 1035 01:33:16,662 --> 01:33:17,663 Mr. Chérasse... 1036 01:33:19,039 --> 01:33:20,332 Oxo! Earth? 1037 01:33:21,167 --> 01:33:22,293 Oxo! Earth? 1038 01:33:22,918 --> 01:33:26,004 This is La Denrée...are you there, Mr. Chérasse? 1039 01:33:26,088 --> 01:33:27,256 Say yes, dummy! 1040 01:33:29,175 --> 01:33:30,551 Well, yes...it's me... 1041 01:33:31,010 --> 01:33:32,887 Don't be afraid, Mr. Chérasse! 1042 01:33:33,763 --> 01:33:34,680 I'm not afraid... 1043 01:33:35,931 --> 01:33:38,935 Do you want to live 200 years, Mr. Chérasse? 1044 01:33:40,436 --> 01:33:42,021 I'd be very grateful... 1045 01:33:43,189 --> 01:33:47,735 Ahhh, I'm so happy, Mr. Chérasse, with your decision! 1046 01:33:47,777 --> 01:33:49,320 Happy...happy! 1047 01:33:50,280 --> 01:33:53,241 I'll come tonight at midnight for your departure... 1048 01:33:54,033 --> 01:33:57,287 Le Glaude! You'll introduce to me Mr. Chérasse! 1049 01:33:57,287 --> 01:33:58,330 Yes! 1050 01:34:00,040 --> 01:34:01,082 Will there be soup? 1051 01:34:01,792 --> 01:34:02,960 We'll make some! 1052 01:34:03,752 --> 01:34:05,045 Will there be a little "canon" to drink? 1053 01:34:05,796 --> 01:34:07,047 There'll even be two! 1054 01:34:08,716 --> 01:34:10,968 See you soon, Mr. Chérasse! 1055 01:34:15,264 --> 01:34:16,098 So that's it! 1056 01:34:17,516 --> 01:34:20,269 What do you say, old nut? 1057 01:34:21,479 --> 01:34:22,688 I'd like to... 1058 01:34:23,064 --> 01:34:23,856 I'd like to... 1059 01:34:23,856 --> 01:34:25,316 If I don't drink a "canon" right away... 1060 01:34:26,651 --> 01:34:28,027 I'll be in a bad way! 1061 01:34:36,244 --> 01:34:37,287 I'm going to the post-office! 1062 01:34:38,955 --> 01:34:40,040 You'll be back, won't you? 1063 01:34:40,331 --> 01:34:41,207 You won't leave me all alone... 1064 01:34:41,499 --> 01:34:42,250 In one minute! 1065 01:35:01,395 --> 01:35:04,440 Madame......registered...... 1066 01:35:51,530 --> 01:35:52,531 Francine! 1067 01:35:56,452 --> 01:35:58,620 There's registered mail for you, I signed for you... 1068 01:35:58,620 --> 01:36:00,081 so, put it aside and come back on the double! 1069 01:36:28,318 --> 01:36:34,366 My dear Francine, I'm going on a trip, it would take too long to explain... 1070 01:36:35,326 --> 01:36:37,536 Here are a 3 or 4 pennies that I'm sending you... 1071 01:36:38,620 --> 01:36:40,915 because where I'm going, they're not needed... 1072 01:36:41,165 --> 01:36:42,541 which is not your case... 1073 01:36:43,292 --> 01:36:47,005 Put them in a savings account, where they'll multiply... 1074 01:36:47,463 --> 01:36:49,840 Don't show them to your motorcyclist... 1075 01:36:50,299 --> 01:36:54,220 it's not because you know me that you know men... 1076 01:36:55,471 --> 01:37:01,644 Beware of them like cholera, they're all liars,... thieves, and the like... 1077 01:37:02,061 --> 01:37:05,732 I kiss you tenderly, and repeat once more... 1078 01:37:05,732 --> 01:37:09,444 ...Be happy! Your old Glaude. 1079 01:37:46,524 --> 01:37:47,734 Let me introduce... 1080 01:37:47,776 --> 01:37:48,985 Mr. La Denrée... 1081 01:37:49,527 --> 01:37:50,778 ...Mr. Chérasse... 1082 01:37:52,364 --> 01:37:53,573 Hop in! 1083 01:37:53,740 --> 01:42:02,580 ~~~~~~~~~ --==Pi.==-- 81791

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