Original subtitles

Translated by♪ XQ2☻

SITUATIONS AND CHARACTERS IN THIS MOVIE ARE PURELY IMAGINARY.

ANY SIMILARITY TO ACTUAL EVENTS,

AND PERSONS, LIVING OR DEAD, IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL

[Explosions]

[Wind]

Has the entire charge exploded? - Yes, there's no risk.

He's approaching the crater.

What's he doing, for God's sake!

Janssen!

Janssen!

- Easy! - Ok.

[Journalist] Monday, February 2

The Franco-Danish expedition led by Prof. Jansen and Cmd. Lecot

discovers in the far north of Greenland

a man's body, perfectly preserved in the ice field.

Tuesday, February 3

The wreckage of La Galante, a French steamer lost off Spitzberg in 1905,☻

is found not far from the body of the unknown man.

The model of the man's shoes corresponds to the date of the shipwreck.

There can be no doubt the ice man was imprisoned in the floe for 65 years.

Friday, February 7

An expedition helicopter transports the isothermal box

containing the unknown man still in his ice block.

Hoist it up. [Dan]

We're going live to the Poliquen hospital

for a press conference by Prof. Édouard Loriebat,

a specialist in artificial hibernation.

Professor Loriebat and Prof. Barkov, head of the psychiatric department,

take their places before journalists from the world over.

Ladies and gentlemen.

I am now able to confirm certain rumours

circulating since this afternoon.

After 36 hours of gradual thawing,

Dr. Barkoff and I have detected renewed cardiac activity.

[Oh! Ah!]

- Fantastic, dear! Don't you think? - It's crazy! - Crazy!

Within several hours, the metabolism regained its normal rate.

And as I speak, the subject can be considered physiologically dehibernated.

- My dear! - It's crazy!

Professor, to explain this unique act of survival, [Eng]

what hypothesis can you advance, personally?

In 1905, the Cargo/Passenger vessel La Galante

was transporting barrels of glycerin.

Upon collision with an iceberg,

probably the ice man's body was immersed in the product,

and thereby put in a Flash-frozen state.

Glycerin would also have protected

his cellular structures by preventing their rupture.

Oh la la!

Formidable, Thomas, don't you think?

What?! They find the intact body of a man frozen 65 years ago,

they thaw him out and he's alive.

That doesn't amaze you, M. Thomas?

The hibernator is out of danger.

Alright. Never mind...

Dear friends, let's get back to why we're here, tonight.

As Director of the French Packaging Company for almost 25 years,

I've always pursued one goal:

to respect, serve and spoil my good, loyal clients.

And also

I've wanted to make our Paris plant worthy of the European market.

It's necessary...

We must get our French Company... Pass!

The French Packaging Company MUST become...

No!

No!

become the company of the day AFTER tomorrow.

I merely follow the example of our excellent friend Crépin-Jaujard,

whose company is the pride of the French packaging industry.

[Applause]

Yes, yes!

Dear friends.

It's not only an honour but also a great joy for me

to announce, on the occasion of this modest inauguration

the engagement of Evelyne, daughter of M. Crépin-Jaujard,

to my little Didier.

Dear little Didier, son of my dear friends the De Tartas,

who've done, who've known

who've understood, who've felt

How shall I put it?

How can I tell you?

- It's hard to say... - Tell me tomorrow, hm?

Look, what a lovely couple!

To your health, kids.

Be happy. At least try to be.

Oh, yes I know, marriage is a besieged fortress.

Those on the outside...

♪ [Military march]

♪♪

Counselor, that decoration?

- The Legion of Honor? - Yes, the Legion of Honour.

- It's done. - Thank you.

- When will I get it? - Last week.

- No, I mean when will I get it? - Last week.

I mean, I got mine last week.

To hell with that, I mean mine! When will I get mine?

I mentioned it in high places, it's imminent.

I need it tomorrow.

- Charles! - Yes?

- C'mere. - Want one?

- What's this? - The Legion of Honor.

You arranged that, didn't you? - No... no...

Thanks for lobbying for my...

I need one for tomorrow.

No, that's mine!

Dear Hubert, what are you doing?

- Can I call you Hubert? - By all means.

This is magnificent, really magnificent.

Bravo, on the renovations. They'll work out great.

You and I will achieve great things.

For the benefit of our darling kids.

Still, I keep thinking of that hibernator

who woke up after 65 years, it's astounding, isn't it?

- Even frightful! - How so?

- He's an old man at 25. - Oh yeah!

An old man of 25!

Suppose he had descendants.

Imagine the faces of his grandkids, who must be about our age!

With longer beards than grandpa!

It's enough to make their whiskers stand on end!

They'll be: paf!

- Monsieur! - Yes?

The police are here, Monsieur.

- What's that? - The police.

- Where? - There.

- Monsieur. - M. de Tartas?

- Yes, that's me. - I have an urgent message for you.

Yes, I knew about this. Thank you.

Look here. Ministry of the Interior, Secretary General.

♪ [Military march]

♪♪

M. de Tartas, please. The Secretary General awaits you.

♪

Ah!

- M. Secretary General. - Dear M. de Tartas.

- Such an honour. - Please.

Have a seat.

I guess, Monsieur, that this summons came as a surprise.

I didn't expect this honour, M. Secretary.

Naturally, you've heard talk of the hibernator.

No, 'scuse... I... What?

I asked if you've heard of the hibernator.

- Yes, like everyone else. - The hibernator's been identified.

Great.

I don't see how that concerns me, M. Secretary General.

You know the hibernator's family.

Ah!

This family's very close to you. Very close.

Very close? This is intriguing. Which family?

Your own, Monsieur.

- Mine? - Yes, Monsieur.

M. Secretary General, my name is Hubert Barrère de Tartas.

I know my ancestors by name, surname and nickname, going back to Louis Hutin(d.1316)

Some fell in battle, in Christian or barbarian lands.

Others died a natural death in their châteaux. But I can guarantee you

no Tartas ever froze in the icy seas of the North Pole.

Indeed, Monsieur, the hibernator is not a De Tartas.

Ah!

His name is Paul Fournier.

- Fournier. - Yes? - Doesn't the name ring a bell?

Fournier? The phone book's full of them.

Wasn't your wife a Miss Fournier?

That's possible, but you're not claiming, M. Secretary,

that the hibernator is related to my wife?

He's her grandfather, Monsieur.

- Pardon... what? - He's her grandfather.

M. Secretary General, I love comedy, but I abhor certain kinds of pleasantries.

Monsieur, in my milieu, we rarely have occasion for pleasantries.

Stroke of luck for our country, don't you think?

If the hibernator doesn't die,

France will have made the most prodigious discovery of all time;

Survival! What do you think?

Professor Loriebat who has our fullest confidence,

is waiting at the hospital, for you and Madame.

Edmée!... Why are you here?

The signature, Monsieur. This week's cheque.

Edmée! Edmée, dammit!

Don't yell like that. Ah, Rabier!

Signature.

- Voilà, sign there. - Very well.

I mean, since the factory is in Madame's name, then...

Voilà, Rabier, thank you. That way.

since the factory belongs to Madame, obviously...

- Yes, good bye. - PISS OFF!

- C'mere! - Aahh!

Where do YOU think your grandfather is?

Where do you THINK your grandfather is?

- Which one? - Grandpa Fournier.

Strange question.

Hubert, he's been dead a long time.

- Dead and buried. - Where?

In Dampierre, I think.

- I'd like you to be sure. - Hubert, what's gotten into you?

- Well? - I was very young when mama died.

I've only been to the cemetery once or twice.

An error is quite possible. I need to check it out.

- May I, at least, know what...? - No, 'I' need to know!

- Well, well, dear? - I don't remember.

- You must remember. - Maybe there.

Let's go.

- Not this one. It's in a lane. - It's all lanes around here.

Dear, you go prospect that way and I'll prospect this way.

No.

No.

No.

Hubert! I found it.

Wait.

Grandma Fournier is here.

So, the old guy's not here. She's alone. - Shh!

- She's alone - Shh!

Grandma died a widow, he must be elsewhere.

- Now, I'm sure. - Sure of what?

Wanna know where grandpa is? - Yes.

He's been in an ice cube for 65 years.

Remind you of anything? 65 years? Ice block?

-You don't mean the hibernator... - That's what I'm saying!

Nana, grandpa's back.

- Come, come, dear! - Yes, coming.

There's chicken in the fridge. Sophie will look after you.

I'm so excited at the idea of meeting grandpapa.

♪ [classical]

♪

Oh!

Goddamit!

♪

♪♪

Edmée! Edmée!

- Where's your mother? - In the garage.

- Look: grandpa. - That's him? - That's grandpa. - Far out!

- That's grandpa, Sophie. - Oh, not bad!

- Will you look after my kid? - With pleasure, Monsieur.

Edmée!

What's this old geezer want?

Yes, Monsieur?

It seems Paul's come back.

- Paul who? - Paul Fournier.

Don't start that! I know nothing.

-Fournier's my oldest friend. - I don't give a damn!

- No comment. - Is he back or not?

- Let me go, you're blocking me. - I'm not stopping your car.

- Yes, you are. - Put it in first. - Where will that get us?

I'm not blocking you at all.

Let me go. Please! Please!

All the same, I'm his oldest friend.

We're about to enter a sterile environment.

Madame... Monsieur.

♪ [tense]

♪

♪♪

The slightest shock can compromise not only his psychic equilibrium

but his very life. He's still very sick.

He still thinks he's at the turn of the century.

One final word

You'll find he's changed a lot.

Who cares about appearances? My heart will know.

♪

Aaahh!

How horrible! I'm dreaming.

I can't be a descendant of this monster!

Professor, are you screwing with us? Is this what you called us to observe?

It's straight out of *La nuit des temps It's not him. (* Novel)

- Look, it's this guy. Not him! -Let's all calm down. - Yeah, and...?

And we'll shave him. That's why we waited for you.

Shave? Fine, shave him!

We have all we need here.

Dr. Bibolini is one of our most eminent psychiatrists.

He's in charge of the stability

and progressive re-adaptation of your relative.

I'm still not sure this man is my ancestor.

But if he is, and you left him in this repulsive condition

I have one word for you; why?

Madame, I didn't deem him ready to decisively confront himself.

This morning he asked for a mirror, I decided it was time.

No objections, dear colleague?

Physically, he's in good shape. The rest is up to you, my dear colleague.

Scissors.

Does he remember what happened?

Fragments of family life, before his marriage.

-He forgot my grandmother? - Apparently.

We told him he fell off a horse and he has gaps in his memory.

Hubert, it's him!

It's grandpa!

You've given him back to me. Thank you, professor.

Professor, what do you intend to do with him?

Hubert, what a question?! We'll take him home.

Sorry, Madame it's out of the question. He belongs to science.

- Oh yes, yes. - Sorry, he belongs to his family first.

Grandpa's not a guinea pig. He's a human being, Monsieur.

But, kitten, these gentlemen are right.

God knows, how I'd like to... but, he belongs to science, alas!

Madame, his reactions are unpredictable, fascinating!

All humanity is concerned with his psychic development.

And physiological.

Pardon me, I don't give a fuck!

Edmée, think about it. Your grandfather believes it's 1905.

Here, he can continue to believe it, but at our place?!

Surrounded by the love of his kin, he'll figure things out, you'll see.

No, we won't see. I'm categorically opposed.

It can lead to irreversible psychic trauma.

These gentlemen know their job. I bow to their expertise. So should you.

- Come, my angel. - You'll see him soon.

Besides, it's not us. It's a government decision.

-Fuck the government! - Shush!

Don't shush me! Fuck the government!

Here we go!

Hold it, give me a nice smile.

What do your parents think of the hibernator?

Papa abhors this kind of publicity.

Hold it, don't move... Voilà!

Mama says it's a shame.

- I think he's a curiosity. - Curiosity? He's extraordinary!

I have a great-grandfather who's my age.

- Poor man, I think it's sad. - No, it's the future!

They freeze you at 20, thaw you out 50 years later

and you're still 20. Wouldn't you like that?

Didier... Oh, Evelyne, I didn't see you.

Oooh!...

- You're only young once. - Are you sure, papa?

Your imbecile of a son's been pussyfooting for a month around Evelyne.

Doesn't he know that with Crépin's capital I'd be on easy street?

Didier's too young for marriage.

Meanwhile, my little angel, I have a cash-flow deadline at the factory.

So, put your pretty little signature right here.

Couldn't care less. I want grandpa.

You had no grandpa so far, now, suddenly you can't do without him?

I have a sense of family.

I'll get grandpa for you. Sign here, my angel.

- Anything you want, AFTER he's here. - Goddamit!

Don't swear, I detest it!

Let's go to bed, my pet. We'll work it out.

In your dreams, Hubert.

Charles prepared the guest room for you.

- Goddamit! - Good night, my friend.

♪ [phone]

Hello Counselor. Any news?

Excuse my call at this hour, but I was held up at the Palais de Justice.

Say, about your hibernator.

I attentively studied the case. Quite a problem, eh?

I know it's a problem. What do we do?

Very simple, my friend. It's a missing person case.

- What does the law-code say? - The code is specific. Absolutely.

Paul Fournier, the hibernator, is alive, isn't he?

Therefore, he must regain possession of all his goods.

- How's that? - It all belongs to him. Oh yes!

How can it all belong to him? I'll contest!

You can't do a thing without his consent.

- That's impossible. - Sorry, it's incontestable.

That's why there's lawyers!

Pardon me, but I have two very urgent dossiers to peruse.

Goddamn!

Edmée! Open up!

I'm sleeping.

You were right, it's a disgraceful kidnapping. Open up!

- I'm sleeping. - I'll get back your grandfather.

I love him. He's so nice. I can't do without him.

Edmée, open up! My pet!

I'm sleeping!

Professor, I order you to return my wife's grandfather.

- [Inaudible] - Didn't hear. What?

-I said it's not possible. - Watch it, Professor!

The press are outside. I'll rouse public opinion and I'll sue the State.

- On what grounds? - Illegal confinement.

Monsieur, for the hibernator, it's 1905.

You're not yet born.

You don't exist. And you may never exist.

Monsieur, someone's waiting for you.

- Why didn't you tell me? - I did.

When? - Just now. - Liar!

- Hello, doctor. - M. de Tartas,

we have a duty to prevent Loriebat from making an error which may be fatal.

- What? I don't understand. - Have a seat.

Fatal for what?

I'm, now, convinced that Loriebat is gravely mistaken.

- Sure, sure! - Wait.

To help Paul Fournier to regain mental stability,

we must place him in a family context, ASAP.

-That's what I said! - Let me continue.

This morning, Professor Loriebat obtained authorisation

to transfer the subject to a rest home in Provence.

Imagine leaving him with strangers, when we have such immense tender...

Listen to me!

He'll be transferred tomorrow, under escort. We must act fast.

I can't do it alone and I can trust, only you.

Doctor, I await your orders.

♪ [Sirens]

We're 7 minutes ahead of schedule.

When he wakes, he won't even notice it's a different room.

This morning he asked to go home.

-Since when do we listen to patients? - But you don't give him a choice.

Professor.

Hubert, my hands are clammy.

My legs are shaking, I feel faint.

It's complicated enough as it is.

I should have taken a...

Not on the stretcher. Not on the stretcher, dammit!

Edmée.

- Edmée! - Eh!

- Edmée! - Mmph!

-Edmée, do you feel better? - Mmm, mmph!

- You feel better? Ok! - No!

-Enough! Our bit's coming up. - Mmph!

Let go!

Join us for a drink, before going back?

Oh, please, I'm so thirsty!

I'd like a tall, cold beer. How about you?

That's it. Let's go. Leggo of me.

Lemme go.

Peek a boo, who's there?

- No! - Oo-ooh!

- Cuckoo! - Arrh!

Stop!

Haha, ha...

No more oxygen for you. Grab the stretcher.

Come on!

Doctor, come join us.

Haha, ha...

Edmée, c'mon!

Oh! Haha, ha...

Haha, ha...

Enough! Enough laughing!

Out of the way!

- Haha, ha... - Oh, ouf!

Haha, ha...

- Everything ok? - Perfect. Get in.

Close shave, huh?

- How far to your lodge? - What?

- How far to your hunting lodge? - 20 minutes.

- Does he really think it's 1900? - What? - Does he think it's 1900?

- Yes, yes, it'll be fine. - Hurry, Hubert, he's coming to.

- It's alright. - How is that alright?

You said we had half an hour.

I can't set him like an alarm clock. We're done for!

- No, we're not done for! - Oh, yes! - No!

Aah!

Ohh!

Hey, you moron!

Get a load of those idiots!

♪ [classical] ♪ [birds]

♪

♪

Where am I?

What happened?

Tsk, tsk! You fell off your horse.

My horse?

What was I doing on a horse?

Patience, your memory will return.

This is 1905.

Last night Sara Bernhardt wowed them in the title role of "L'Aiglon".

And M. Loubet is still president.

No, it can't be! They wouldn't dare.

- Let me get up. - Come, come.

- I'm Professor Loriebat. - Yes, yes.

I want to get up. I tell you, I'm Loriebat!

M. Director, M. Director! Hurry!

- Come now be nice. - I want to get up.

He seems very agitated.

Where's Prof. Loriebat, who was supposed to bring him?

He's right HERE!

- Let me go, will you? - Oh, Professor!

- I don't understand what... - Well, I do!

Where's the phone?

Where's the phone!

Considering the era, we thought a telephone might...

Enough of that!

Hurry get me the police, Domestic Intelligence and the National Guard.

- What's going on, Professor? - What's going on?!

Monsieur, they stole my hibernator.

- You must've made a mistake. - YOU told me to take a right.

- That's all we need! - Now, this!

C'mere, you.

Hold this up.

He's gone! He's gone!

- No, he's here. - Where?

Oh!

Spotted, ambulance. Suspicious behaviour: avoids roadblocks.

No direct intervention? OK.

- They saw us. We're lost. - No we're not lost!

- Where are we? - With all the detours, I lost track.

Hurry, he's waking up.

We must save him at any cost.

Doctor, look!

No, absolutely not that!

Hold him. Firmly.

Give him this.

Aah!

A church is ageless.

When he wakes up, he won't be disoriented.

Yes, true.

Don't you like it?

- Got anything else? - No.

Hubert, look!... No, there.

[Abbey, XV century]

Everybody out! Line up!

So, you won't let me in?

- Halt! - Gimme that.

Doctor Bibolini, M. de Tartas!

I give you 15 minutes to reconsider.

Your grave actions merit sanctions.

Be reasonable and I'll try to attenuate them.

I await your response.

[Gregorian chant] ♪ Alleluia...

♪ Alleluia...

♪ Allelu...

He's asleep, let's go.

- You forgot we're surrounded! - No.

Father, do you have a subterranean secret door?

Too late. Better hand him to the State. - Wha... th-that's defeatism!

He doesn't belong to the State, but to his family. Right, Father?

Not now, my son. He belongs to God.

You're not going to keep him?!

By miraculously saving his life

and by guiding your steps to our house

the Lord's will is clear.

This man's destiny belongs to Him.

May prayer bring us light.

Goddamit!

- What? - Aah!

[Fais dodo, Colas mon petit frère] ♪ Deedee-dee, deedee dee...

♪ Deedee-dee, deedee dee...

♪ Deedee-dee, deedee dee...

Ouff!

They're making fools of us.

Sorry, Professor, but guarding the perimeter is all we can do.

Fine, I'll go alone!

♪ Alleluia...

♪ Alleluia...

♪ Alleluia...

♪ Assumpta Est

♪ Maria in caelum

- Help me! - Too late.

- It was your idea so help out! - What's the use?

You too, Edmée!

- Shh, careful! - What is it?

- I hear someone walking. - Who? - Shh!

Quick, face the wall!

- Is it him? - No, no.

- It's him. - No, it's not.

- I'm about to freak out. - Oh no!

I'm going to crack.

Sorry to disturb your meditation, brothers, but...

I know you've taken a vow of silence...

- That's it, I'm freaking out! - Bibolini!

Aaahh!

I cracked.

Mama.

- My boy. - Mama, I want to go home.

I want to go to our house.

Right away.

Fine...

I bow to his wishes.

His recovery comes first.

The 'family setting', it is! But...

'a la belle epoque' (turn of the century).

Professor, do you really want to put him up in my mansion?

[Inaudible]

- I didn't hear that. - I said of course.

The mansion he knew in 1900... Think he'll recognize it, now?

[Inaudible]

- I can't hear a word. - I said, you'll simply

put the mansion back in the state it was at the turn of the century.

You realize I spent a fortune modernising it. We just had...

a house-warming for the renovations. The paint is still wet.

If your ancestor can't set foot in our time

our time must go to him.

Tss!

Say...

Just an idea...

If we told him what year it is, right away. Bam!

It'd be more economical.

It'd kill him.

- Ah noo, never! - What?! I didn't say a word!

Yes! You nodded your fat head with shameful intent.

Dear, my head isn't big and I didn't nod it.

Yes, you do have a big head and you nodded it.

Let's admit, I have a big head, but I didn't nod.

Yes, you nodded.

What do you call nodding?

Like that.

Tut, tut! Here it is... This is nodding.

I'm nodding. See? Nodding.

OK, that's nodding!

- But I didn't nod. - Enough!

Like it or not, grandpa will live with us.

Anyway, we have orders to make sure nothing stops the experiment. From high up.

I'm not buying it!

- M. de Tartas! - Not buying it!

- What makes a country great, today? - I don't give a fuck.

You don't have that right!

What makes a country great

is space.

Fuck it!

I won't allow this attitude!

A country's greatness depends on outer space.

And space without hibernation is useless.

We won't be content with, Mars or Venus.

We must go further. And I really mean further.

Voyages would last a century, 2 centuries. Millennia, perhaps.

For that, a lifetime won't be enough. We must hibernate the cosmonauts.

'Hibernation is us'. 'Hibernation' is YOU, de Tartas.

- What if I refuse? - What about France?

- I forbid you to say it! - What? - You said 'fuck it'! - No. - Yes!

Besides, I don't see the problem. It's all at State expense.

♪ [classical]

♪

The interior decor of the period has been restored.

Absolutely identical?

The furnishings may have changed a bit during the hibernator's absence.

What if he wishes to go out?

His convalescence regimen will convince him not to leave the property limits.

What about cars?

Modern traffic is forbidden throughout Vésinet.

Period vehicles have been provided to the inhabitants.

Besides the locals, we'll admit, in exceptional cases,

emergency workers with official passes,

and due to their ageless garments: coalmen, clergymen and nuns.

Letters with 2 cents postage will be delivered by velocipede (bike)

and some kiosks will sell period newspapers.

- When can we see him? - Soon, gentlemen, soon.

Excuse me. We had to give him an injection for the trip

and we don't know how he'll react when he wakes up.

Giddup!

It'll go just fine.

I agree, my wife looks a lot like her grandmother.

But my resemblance to his father is quite a stretch.

In your opinion, but there is a certain likeness!

Stop combing, there's nothing to comb.

Monsieur is awake?

You made some changes, here, why?

- I'll call Madame. - I'm not complaining, at all!

You're much better than that old owl, Irma.

You too, Monsieur. I mean...

What's your name, beautiful child?

Sophie, Monsieur.

Sophie!

I have a feeling we're going to be great friends, you and me.

Ah, no!

Monsieur must stay in bed. Monsieur is sick.

Sick? Me? I've never awakened feeling so fresh!

Monsieur's not in his right mind.

- It's possible, but, does it matter? - Let me go! I have my orders.

I'm giving the orders, now!

That is...

I'd never hurt the feelings of one with such lovely eyes.

Get me some Vienna rolls, cocoa and Le Gaulois*, I'm starving. (newspaper)

Yes, Monsieur.

Madame!

Gosh, what a figure!

- This is it, he's awake! - Awake? Really?

I swear, Madame!

- My God! - My God!

Excuse me, Gratinier.

Mme. de Tartas?

Professor, he's awake!

- Has he seen his father? - Not yet.

Go get him. I'll prepare his entrance.

- Hubert, Hubert! - Yes.

He's awake! He's awake!

If you wanna see him, finish getting dressed.

I'm fed up with all this fuss about him! And I've been kicked out of my room.

But you're next to mine, no?

- Did he talk to you? - Yeah, with his hands.

- The bastard! At his age?! - He's pretty well preserved, you know.

How's my big boy?

How lovely you look, this morning, mama!

He's in top form, isn't he, Professor?

Come, come, it'll be fine.

The disguise is extraordinary. A perfect illusion. Really.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

- Tell me, did he mention his father? - No. - Why, is that bad?

- No allusion to his father? - Don't worry, I say.

- Yes? - It's very troubling. - How so? - It'll provoke a shock.

- Why a shock? - Calm down.

Don't worry, I tell you.

Well, here goes the shock.

Go ahead.

Paul.

My little Paul.

You haven't forgotten your papa?

Huh?

Come to my arms, my son.

Out!

Get out!

- Odious character! - Paul!

Defiler! Corruptor!

Get out! Out!

But, cheri, it's papa!

- Don't let him out! - Stay inside!

Don't you ever come back!

- The shock was too brutal! - Another of your harebrained ideas!

Don't ever bring him back!

Chéri, calm down!

Never, there.

Lemme go.

Woah! Let him through!

Let him through!

My dear sir, you can save me. Save me, Monsieur!

- Who are you? - Don't you recognize me? Look.

I say! You miserable... How dare you?

I won't allow you to... Oww!

How dare you come back?!

Oh, come on!

A man who abandoned his home for some ham actress?

- It wasn't... It isn't me! - Stand up!

Look! See?... There!

Think, damn you! I'd have to be 111 years old!

Yes, in fact, it's impossible. Excuse me, Monsieur.

Seeing him here after what he did to us... After what he did to YOU, mama!

From now on, I'll look after you.

There! Let's forget all that. I'll take you to Chez Maxime.

- Ah, no! - Ah, no!

Messieurs, I've seen enough of you.

Please forward me the sum of your honorariums and kindly retire.

Promise me, at least, you won't go outside.

I'll see to that.

He's evolving favourably, in spite of the unforseeable incident with the father.

Messieurs, what a bright idea!

- Where are you going? - Pardon? - Where are you going? - Home!

Don't even think it! The experiment failed.

You're not needed.

Are you screwing with me? You want me to go, a hotel?

- Good idea. - It's the only solution.

I'm going home!

Look, Messieurs, in the interest of our relationship...

I only see the higher interest of the patient.

- Fuck the patient! - ♪[police whistle]

Take him away.

Ah, no! He's my husband. There are limits! - Whch HE crossed, mama.

The divorce is done. Forget this rotten individual.

- But Paul, he's your father. - Who disowned us, without question!

This could come in handy.

- Mama, the fuzz collared dad! - What are you saying, young man?

A momentary lapse, no doubt. Did you think you were at home?

Excuse me. Where's my head?

He's a young student who rents a room in the attic.

- He's at St-Cyr Military Academy. - Well done, young man.

May I say, I find your behaviour rather cavalier.

Don't scold him, he's cute.

Sophie, come now! Go tidy up.

- But M. Paul is even cuter. - Sophie!

- The girl has taste! - I don't think so.

I heard a lot about you. Frankly, I'm not blown away.

Didier! Er... I mean,

Young man! I say!

- Tomorrow, I'll kick that fop out the door. - Oh no, you can't!

Yes, I understand your loneliness, mama.

You're young, ravishing...

- Oh! - Yes, yes, ravishing!

And prey to all the desires.

- Temptations lurk about you. - Well, hm!

Some could even be dangerous.

- You don't mind me saying that? - No, grandpa.

- Oh, see? You're mocking me. - No.

- Mama. - Yes.

Ideally, you should remarry.

Oh!

Funny you should say that. I was just thinking it.

- You have someone in mind? - Er... Mm-hm!

I don't dare talk about it, but I think so.

Really?

Do I know him?

M-mm!

Introduce me, quick. I want to be sure he's worthy of you.

He won't slip anything past me.

Monsieur, who are you?

Would you tell me who to announce.

Don't you recognize me?

- Come on! - Pardon.

Yes, when you do that, M. de Tartas.

Where's madame?

- Madame's in the winter garden. - Announce me.

It must make you feel young to be courting her.

Liar!

- Announce me. - Fine, who should I announce?

- Guess. - I dunno.

- M. de Tartos. - De Tartos?

- De Tartas, imbecile! - De Tartas, Imbecile.

No change in the name. Only the...

- Get lost! - Yes Sir.

- Hey, Charles! - Eh?

C'mere.

What?

How do I look?

Hhh!

Alright, piss off!

- Yes. - Hop it!

- Ah, Sophie! - Ho, ho!

Sophie!

Come here.

- No, leave that alone. - Fine, I'll tell him to come.

M. de Tartas, you may come.

M. de Tartas!

My respects, dear madam.

Welcome to our house.

Monsieur.

My dear friend,

I told Paul of my high esteem for you and he's dying to meet you.

You're too kind, Madame.

I took the liberty of bringing a modest token of my devotion.

See, how he spoils me! You shouldn't have.

Madly gay! Such superb flowers!

- Not too heavy? - Not at all.

Sophie!

She won't be long.

No matter.

Put that on the table.

- Isn't love beautiful! - Cut the commentary!

Indeed, Monsieur, love is a noble sentiment

provided it's sincere and profound.

My mother deserves to be happy

- and I'll make sure. - Oh, Paul!

I'm sure Monsieur understands. - Very well.

Would you step into my study? Do you mind, mama?

Certainly, you big darling!

- What? - Pardon?

- I thought, er... - Very well.

- This way? - Yes, this way.

Ah, that's it.

Be indulgent with Paul, my dear.

He adores me and can sometimes be a bit brusque.

Through that door.

Have a seat, please.

A finger of Madeira?

No, thanks.

- A Vieux Grenache? - No, thank you.

- On a diet? - Not at all.

Health problems? Delicate stomach, sensitive liver?

No, I'm fine, I assure you.

Great. Cigar?

No, I don't smoke. Not anymore.

You have every virtue!

M. de Tartas, I won't beat around the bush.

My mother told me you're a widower.

Ah, yes, yes.

What did your wife die of?

What did your wife die of?

I, um... heard...

Oh, it was terrible.

How, horrible!

Already in the morning, she was sort of... like that.

I remember, she went, arrgh!

Argh...

She swelled up and... Paf!

She cracked, it was horrible.

Ah, horrible!

The devil, you say!

Frightful.

Pffft! Paf!

She blew up, all over the place.

Didn't suffer, though. At all, at all.

M. de Tartas, I like clear situations.

Me too. Me too.

You intend to marry my mother?

- Eh, yes. - I wouldn't like you to rush things.

- You can move in here for a while. - That's too kind of you.

You played an essential role at the factory.

But from now on, I'll take over.

That's not possible. What about your...?

What'll become of you? How will you take over?

My father did one elegant thing. He left the factory in my name.

I'm young, I'll get the hang of it.

You should be careful.

The doctors recommended you take it easy. You'll get over-fatigued.

- Just like that... Exhausted! - They're a bunch of jack-asses!

You're forgetting supplies problems. Administrative details.

Cheques ... Cheques to sign.

I'll sign them.

Ah, no, not the cheques!

- Don't you think I'm capable? - You mustn't!

Look, give me a great big Grenache,

a huge glass of Madeira and I'll smoke a fat cigar.

Attention, please.

[Klaxon]

This sudden leap back in time is somehow moving, don't you think?

Rather costly, I'd say. Such deployment of resources

for a common man is unthinkable.

If he's so common, why did you bother coming?

For you, dear. Don't you want to see Didier?

Sure, mama. That's the only reason.

Neither curiosity nor snobbery are at issue.

There he is. He's watching.

Hey!... He-heh, he-heh!

Still watching... He's gone.

He thinks he inherited a petrol oil lamp factory.

Keep him from running things or we'll have a disaster.

It's his factory, what do you expect?

Tell him the truth. Enough of this comedy!

I'm off. No, he's back!

There he is! Hee, hee.

Ay, ay, yyy...

Ha, ha!

- You're wrong to abuse my patience. - Without my family you're nothing.

I won't need them much longer.

Didier will marry Evelyne.

And you and grandpa can play with your petrol lamps.

Hubert!

- Oui! - Hubert!

Petrol!

Hubert!

Oh, Hubert!

Hubert!

I'm dizzy!

I don't care!

My dear friends!

[neighing]

Ha, ha!

- Are you hurt? - No.

Not at all, everything's fine.

Everything's fine. We were waiting for you.

Voilà, that way, please. Straight ahead.

- Charming, place! - Do you think so? - Oh yes!

Aaah!

Oh!

Hubert, I thought we were mad at each other.

- Your dress is torn, go change. - Oh!

They're so charming!

Meditate on this example, my girl. And after 20 years of marriage!

If their son takes after them it bodes well for Evelyne.

Charles, where's Didier?

Hee hee...

Impossible!

Let me by!

Ah!

What are you doing here, in Didier's room?

- To think, I trusted you! - It's no crime.

It's worse. It's an outrage.

- Here's your week's notice, piss off! - I dunno if the boss will agree.

- The boss is ME! - No, it's M. Paul.

You miserable... Trying to ruin your father, huh?

The Crépin-Jaujards are downstairs.

Evelyne's waiting. Hop to it!

Listen to to what I'm saying.

I'm fed up to the eyebrows, with the Crépin-Jaujards.

The eyebrows?

Yes, the eyebrows.

And that's not all.

You can stick your fake marriage up your...

Ah, no! Never!

Your jacket!

Allez-hop! To the Crépin-Jaujards.

I can't wait to meet him!

I'm afraid of making a mistake.

Is it as serious as they say?

- It'd be terrible. - Charles, please.

- But it WOULD be terrible. - Charles, leave us.

It could tragically stagger his reason. I beg you, be careful.

- Watch out for me, Edouard. - I've done it for 19 years, dear.

- Where is your grandfather? - Patience, he's coming.

I didn't imagine you like this at all.

When I think of your age!

- You don't find me too young? - Oh, no, I think you're just fine.

- Here's our little Didier. - Bravo, Didier, superb!

My respects, madam, monsieur.

- What's wrong, is he upset? - No, no.

- Anything wrong? - No, nothing.

- Really nothing? - No, nothing.

Little Evelyne's not here?

I thought Didier was in the park. She's looking for him.

- Shall I go? - Yes. No!... I'll go myself.

♪ [Dramatic]

♪

♪

♪

What's wrong, dear?

Did you see my daughter?

Charles.

- Did you see Evelyne? - You didn't see Evelyne?

- CHARLES! - Yes, I'm here.

Get me ... large Grenache...

with a big ... thing in a glass and

... little cigar.

♪ [piano]

♪

♪

♪

You're jumping to conclusions!

Paul was gallant with Evelyne. And you get in such a state?!

Crépin-Jaujard and I have agreed on the date of the wedding, already!

- So, everything's fine. - What? Everything is NOT fine!

I won't let your grandfather steal my son's fiancée. Voilà!

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

Yes, what are you doing?

Well, I'm... He-heh!

What for?

Ah no! We're only fiancés. We're not married yet.

We don't want people talking.

Come on!

All these emotions must have gotten to you.

No, Edmée, Edmée, you don't love me anymore!

- Yes. - No! - Yes!

But, kitten, I'm lonely. Lonely. Too lonely!

Alright, voilà.

- Yeah, but... - Wait!

Here... to keep you company. But, keep it muted.

No.

No.

Edmée! Edm...

My respects, dear madame. May the night bring you sweet repose.

Edmée

- Did Paul see anything? - No.

If he caught you in my room, he'd have killed you.

He thought I came to say goodnight.

Thank you for your presence of mind.

This charming complicity reminds me of our courting days.

Your grandfather's youth has brought back our own.

Oh, Hubert.

- It's late. - No.

Yes, it's really late.

It's never too late to court one's wife, my pet.

- Enough. - My pet!

This won't get you anywhere.

My pet!

Mama!

[***]

Mama!

[***]

Hm? What is it?

- It's me, can I come in? - NO!

- Hubert. - What?

One moment.

- Hubert. - Who's that?

- Wake up! - .... ?

- For the love of heaven! - What's to eat?

What? Where?

Where we going?

You can come in, darling.

Mama, tell me if you like this poem. My life depends on it.

Don't you ever get sleepy?

No. Listen. "To Evelyne"

"We loved each other from our first glance

"and already an image appears

"to haunt my spirit this bleak morning.

"This image of you, my love, is nude"

Go on, dear, read.

"Come back, sweet friend, without you I am nothing

"If you wish, tomorrow you'll be mine."

"Before God, in his temple With a solemn 'I do'

"I place my life and my heart

"on the altar."

Don't you like it?

Er, I do. It's charming.

Charming.

But you're jumping the gun,

she may not be free.

I think there may be someone.

A very nice boy, at that.

- I'll kill him. - I forbid you!

So be it. I'm too happy to hurt your feelings.

I'll get Charles to deliver my note.

How about that, my friend?

You must admit he's overdoing it!

For pity's sake, Hubert, it's 5:am!

I'll nip this romance in the bud. Like that, paf!

How horrendous!

What the heck's keeping him?

♪ [Waltz]

This is new!

Ah!

Charles, I need your help.

At this hour? Monsieur has no pity for his staff.

- Smile, Charles, life is beautiful. - Oh, yeah?

♪

♪

♪

He's laying it on thick!

Now, he won't even sleep. Slept too much earlier.

Where are you going?

To stop him sending his love note. I'll nip this romance in the bud.

Sophie, I'll give you a 40 franc raise. You too, Charles.

- Monsieur is sensational. - Sensational?

That's a novel expression! I think I'll adopt it.

- Didn't they say that in your time? - In MY time?

I mean, before the accident, Monsieur.

Oh la la!

- Oh, bravo! You're convalescing fast! - I'm doing pretty well, thanks.

- Dear Sophie. - Sophie.

What's that eccentric outfit?

A pyjama!

- I'm decidedly behind the times. - You have no idea!

Charles, quick take this letter to town. - Now? - It's urgent!

- Do I have to go now? - Yes, and smile. She lives downtown.

- A lady? - Yes.

Already?

The most marvelous beautiful lady!

Without leaving this place? Hats off!

Charles!

- Gimme that! - No, no. - Gimme that!

Go away, I'll handle this.

- Is Didier there? - Yes. - Good. OK, piss off!

- But I'm suppos... - I'll smack you one!

"If you wish, tomorrow you'll be mine.

"Before God, in his temple With a solemn 'I do'

"I place my life and my heart On the altar."

You wrote that? I find it hard to believe.

I knew you'd laugh at me. Papa insisted I read it to you.

You, really, don't know me well.

- Those are my verses! - You should be ashamed!

- She's my fiancée, no? - How dare you say that!

Ay!

You get some fancy ideas!

Something wrong, dear?

I'm fed up with all this, with Evelyne with this whole family! - Didier!

He's 60 years older than her. I'd like to see Jaujard's face...

Calm down, cheri, you're sweating. Sophie, run a bath for Didier.

- Great, she and I can bathe together. - Didier!

Hubert, what's happening?

The ship is sinking. Our feet are already wet!

- Paul and Evelyne, still at it? - They're rattling the windows!

- We should talk to the girl. - Right!

You handle Evelyne and I'll handle him. I'll de-hibernate him.

- No, don't! - I'll tell him all. - You'll kill him! - I'll tell him all. - No!

Paul!

- How do you feel? - What?

How do you FEEL?

Get lost! Piss off, or I'll smack you!

How do you feel? ...

Fine? Top form? Let's go.

Now, I'll tell you ALL!

- NOOO! - Shut up!

You think it's 1900, huh? Well, no. It's 1970. Paf!

The North Pole Does that ring a bell?

You've been stuck for 65 years in a block of ice.

They just found you intact, two months ago.

- Hubert! - Shut up!

You're not 25 years old. You're 90. Fourscore and ten!

You are your mother's grandfather, who is my wife!

Her name's not Clementine, it's Edmée. Edmée, Edmée, Edmée...

Her name's Edmée...

♪Hedmée, Hedmée, Hedmée!...

You're in for a treat, you are!

Hey, it's not finished!

It's not over, yet! The rest of you, piss off!

At the North Pole, you never had a riding accident. - No? - Never!

You were shipwrecked.

Facing death, you got 'embalmed' on whiskey and fell in the glycerine.

We just found your piece of ice. - For the whiskey? - No!

Thanks to the ice, whiskey and glycerine, you're still among us!

- I see. - Don't interrupt!...

No! Everybody, piss off, or I'll smoke you all!

Don't look up there, you!

So many things happened in 65 years!

The war of 1914. Paf!

The war of 1940. Paf!

The matchiche, the mazurka; gone. (*dances)

Everything works on electricity. Even guitars.

How are you holding up, hm? OK?

Hee hee-hee...!

So... No! Look over here.

Now, airplanes...

How fast do you think they go?

- 80 km per hour? - My poor boy: 2,800 km per hour!

Shaped like cigars. Paf!

Twice the speed of sound!

You arrive in New York before you leave Paris.

Because of the time difference, obviously.

- Obviously. - Obviously!

- What do you think of that? - It must take a lot of petrol.

Petrol's over and done. It's kerosene, now.

Meanwhile we're expecting atomic fuel. It'll come.

Atoms, neutrons and tagagdada!

And we're going to the moon.

We're going to the moon with an insect.

- An insecte? - An insect-module!

Vrrrmm! An insect-module!

Mankind's going mad. Mad! Vrrrm! Mad!

♪ Ding, dong, ding, dong...

♪ Du-dulu du-du...

Mankind's going mad! Mankind's going mad!

And I feel like I'm going mad!

- Aah! - Edmée, Edmée, Edmée...

Edmée, Edmi... Mi!

- HUBERT! - I told him everything!

- Why did you do that? - I told him everything!

- How do you feel? - Me? Fine.

'Me'... 'I' am fine...

- You don't believe me! - Sure, sure!

- He didn't believe me. - Yes, yes, I did!

I'm 90 years old. I'm your grandfather.

I came from the North Pole and we'll all go to the moon on an insect!

He doesn't believe me!

- Television! - NO!

He's gonna watch television! - No, don't...

Get back or I'll pop you one!

- What did you say? - I'll sock you. The key?

There's no key!

Watch it!... The key.

No... The key!

It's there! It's there!

Gimme that!

I don't wanna! Sir, you need rest.

It's true, you need rest! Hubert!

Catch him!

♪ [whistle] - Hubert!

Hubert!

Hubert!

So, it is true.

How is this possible?

I really wanted to tell you differently

or better yet, live with you, in your time.

Do you think you could get used to ours?

I don't know.

We don't speak of love the same way.

But basically, nothing's changed. Come.

- Where are you going? - To make up for lost time!

Paul!

Paul!

- This is insanity. - Get used to it.

He doesn't belong to us, anymore.

♪ [bells]

♪

♪

Kids, it's terrible. Hubert is still missing.

Mme. de Tartas, your husband asked us to give you this note.

"See you in half a century. Hubert."

Aah!

Aaahh!

♪ [Music]

Translated by♪ XQ2☻

♪

♪...