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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:08,747 That pasta primavera Jay made really hit the spot, 2 00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:10,140 smell-wise. 3 00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:11,576 Probably the most satisfying meal I've experienced 4 00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:14,144 since losing the ability to consume food. 5 00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:15,885 Jay, guess who I just got off the phone with. 6 00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:18,409 Kenny and Liz, from good old Park Slope. 7 00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,107 Love Kenny and Liz. The best. 8 00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:22,065 So, remember when we saw them get engaged on Instagram 9 00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:24,024 and we never got the invite to the wedding? 10 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,286 Mm, I bet we were the last cut. 11 00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,288 Yes, you tell yourself that. 12 00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,072 Well, get this: the wedding venue 13 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:32,206 they were dead set on fell through. 14 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,599 Are you saying what I think you're saying? 15 00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:35,774 Kenny and Liz want to get married at Woodstone Mansion 16 00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,037 in two weeks. 17 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,429 Ooh. 18 00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:40,388 Thank God I died dressed to the nines. 19 00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:41,563 Babe, this could be huge for us. 20 00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:43,086 If we pull this off, 21 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,261 with all Kenny and Liz's fancy 22 00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,654 made-the-cut friends in attendance, 23 00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,438 it could really land us on the map. 24 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:48,657 You know, it's embarrassing how excited you all get 25 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,268 about a woman becoming a man's property. 26 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:52,791 Then again, if you put on "We Are Family," 27 00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:55,142 I'm on the dance floor, no questions asked. Right? 28 00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:58,971 There is one teeny-tiny hoop we have to jump through. 29 00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:00,756 Hoop? What kind of hoop? 30 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,019 Before Woodstone Mansion is officially booked, 31 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:07,067 Liz's family is sending Michael Davenport to check it out. 32 00:01:08,546 --> 00:01:10,070 Am I supposed to know who that is? 33 00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:11,114 Manhattan's top wedding planner? 34 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,724 Notoriously hard to please? 35 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:15,336 Okay, well, uh, wh-when's he coming? 36 00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:16,946 Tomorrow.Tomorrow? 37 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:20,036 Sam, this house is a disaster. 38 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,646 We got pigeons in the attic. 39 00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,648 Uh, w-we got lights flickering everywhere. 40 00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,389 Honey, please, we'll get it done. 41 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,043 He's not wrong, this place looks haunted. 42 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,610 I mean, it is haunted. 43 00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:30,873 But you don't want people to think that. 44 00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:32,701 ♪ 45 00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,750 Come on. 46 00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:40,535 Why? 47 00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:43,407 Jay? 48 00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:45,583 Good news, the pigeon guy's on his way. 49 00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,977 Bad news, the stupid electrician just canceled again. 50 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:50,022 Seriously? That's the third time. 51 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,154 He said his dog isn't feeling well. 52 00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,199 Aw. No. 53 00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:54,244 No "aw." You'll never be successful 54 00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:55,811 in business if you let the help walk all over you. 55 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,334 Hetty, his dog isn't feeling well. 56 00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:58,683 Poppycock. He's probably 57 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,032 playing dice with the other roughnecks. 58 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:01,556 That's what they do. They lie. 59 00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:03,123 They imbibe and they lie. 60 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,255 I think I could fix this. 61 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,301 Uh, Jay, please be careful. 62 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,041 I've watched HGTV so many times, babe, 63 00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:10,826 I'm practically a Property Brother. 64 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,089 And not the lame one, the one that actually fixes things. 65 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,525 Okay, well, do you have your menu ready 66 00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,048 for the wedding planner? 67 00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:18,094 I'm going to dazzle him. 68 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,878 I've been training my whole life for this, babe. 69 00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:22,707 Just leave the cooking to your man. 70 00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:26,711 He cooks, you work, your dynamic is grotesque. 71 00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:28,278 Yeah! Yeah, I can do this. 72 00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:29,888 Careful, you cad. 73 00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,890 Those sconces are made of pure leaded crystal. 74 00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,718 They are worth more than Oklahoma. 75 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,677 Okay, yep. 76 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,287 Easy-peasy... 77 00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:41,726 Ah... 78 00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:42,858 Jay! 79 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,468 Oh, my gosh. Are you okay? 80 00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:45,904 What's going on? 81 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,167 I think Jay electrocuted himself. 82 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,559 Oh, he's fine. Ben Franklin used to do 83 00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:50,996 the same thing all the time for attention. 84 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,217 More like Needy Richard's Almanack, am I right? 85 00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,392 Honey, are you all right? Ooh! 86 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,481 Don't get fresh with me, young lady. 87 00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:59,048 Okay. 88 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,529 Uh, maybe you should go lay down. 89 00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:03,792 We have some time before Michael arrives. 90 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:06,186 A brief respite. Perhaps you're right. 91 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,275 Straighten your back. 92 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:09,667 You're hunched over like a washer woman. 93 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,199 Hey, have you guys seen Hetty? 94 00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:21,113 Uh, sorry, I haven't seen her. 95 00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:22,289 Hmm, that's weird. 96 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,116 She wasn't at our morning walk, either. 97 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,248 Well, she's bound to turn up. 98 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,119 It's not like any of us can leave. 99 00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:28,033 Remind me how that works. 100 00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,042 Why does that happen? 101 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,218 We don't know, Sam. 102 00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,436 Why do we go through the walls 103 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,133 but not fall through the floor? 104 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,439 It's not like we got a manual. 105 00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,702 Ugh, would love a death manual. 106 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:47,096 Huge manual guy. Love being told what to do. 107 00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:49,011 There's a man in uniform here, Sam. 108 00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,926 I'll be honest, it's not a great man 109 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,449 nor a great uniform. 110 00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:54,059 Oh, nice, that's the bird removal guy. 111 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,452 He's here to take care of the pigeons. 112 00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:57,802 Murphy? 113 00:03:57,846 --> 00:04:00,718 Before we let that Irishman in here, we need to lock up 114 00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:02,981 the good china and count the spoons! 115 00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:04,766 Mm-mm, no, no, no, no, no. 116 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:05,897 Mm, excuse me? 117 00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,464 What? 118 00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:09,118 Since when does Jay hate the Irish? 119 00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:10,728 Excuse me, sir? 120 00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,382 Yes, yes, yes, you. 121 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:14,210 Are you a member of a labor union? 122 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,777 There is a wrong answer. 123 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,866 Excuse me? I warn you, 124 00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:20,956 if a single sugar bowl goes missing before the wedding... 125 00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:24,655 Oh, dear. Oh, dear. 126 00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,918 Oh, dear. What is it? What's going on? 127 00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:29,791 The reason none of us have seen Hetty is because she 128 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:32,054 is in there. 129 00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:33,447 In the van? 130 00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:34,839 What? No. 131 00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,754 In where? Isaac, you're freaking me out. 132 00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:39,366 She's in Jay, Samantha! 133 00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,845 Uh, question, have you got enough room 134 00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:43,761 in that van for all your potatoes? 135 00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:46,590 That was a good one. 136 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,512 Ah, what? What do you mean, I'm inside of Jay's body? 137 00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:57,209 How? When? 138 00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:59,429 That's not mine. 139 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,431 No, this isn't happening. Possession isn't real. 140 00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,085 Possession can't be real. 141 00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:05,305 Neither are ghosts, yet here we are. 142 00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:07,350 Gather the ghosts. Wait a minute. 143 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,091 Where are all the ghosts? 144 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,919 Oh, no. Isaac would know what to do. 145 00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:14,226 Hey, Hetty or Jay or whoever, we're right here. 146 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,576 They're right here. 147 00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:17,578 That's interesting. She can't see us. 148 00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:18,840 Oh, no, no, no. 149 00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:19,841 This can't be happening. 150 00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:21,146 No! 151 00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,452 J-Jay? Are you in there? 152 00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,935 Jay. 153 00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,806 Jay. Oh, this is so weird. 154 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,547 Oh, my gosh. It's you. Yeah, yeah, it's me, babe. 155 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:31,983 He's back. 156 00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,029 Oh, that's good. 157 00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,509 I don't know what's happening. I-I was changing the light, 158 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:36,988 and-and then there was a big spark, 159 00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,599 then I fell on the ground and I came to, 160 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,731 except I wasn't in control of my own body. 161 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,254 Somebody tell me, what is happening? 162 00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:43,995 I've been trying to tell you. 163 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,954 We've seen this happen before. I haven't. 164 00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,390 This is why we need a death manual. 165 00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,392 The year was 1883, and Woodstone 166 00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:50,872 was just being wired for the gift of electricity 167 00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:53,570 when a poor workman electrified himself 168 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,572 and hurled toward a ghost. 169 00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:56,878 Me. 170 00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,009 Oh, boy. 171 00:05:58,053 --> 00:05:59,315 What? What? 172 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,360 It was quite the interesting experience, 173 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,796 being inside another man. 174 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,363 Hold up, I've sat through 20 years 175 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,539 of Pete droning on and on about how to tie 176 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:08,455 every kind of knot, I could've been possessing people? 177 00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:09,847 Oh, come on, I remember you perked up 178 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,675 when I covered cow hitches. 179 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,721 Possession is nearly impossible to do on purpose. 180 00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:15,462 It requires a confluence of events 181 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,115 that are almost unreplicable. 182 00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,727 So, how do we get Hetty out of my husband's body? 183 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:23,383 Oh, my God, I'm literally being colonized from the inside out. 184 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,862 Sh-She's coming back. 185 00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:28,910 Hmm. Oh, my God. 186 00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,520 Why is it so damp in here? 187 00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:32,348 Samantha, tell Hetty that this is 188 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,306 just like when I possessed her workman, 189 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:37,135 and we have to do the same thing to fix it. 190 00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:39,094 Hetty-- I can't believe I'm calling you this. 191 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:41,139 Well, it is my name, young lady. 192 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,620 Isaac says this is like the time he possessed your workman. 193 00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,579 Oh, my God, 194 00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:47,494 there might be a way out of this hellhole yet. 195 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:49,104 Well, what is it? 196 00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:50,453 An exorcism. 197 00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,326 Cool. 198 00:06:57,286 --> 00:06:58,679 Oh, okay, well, I'll see you then. 199 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,332 Question, if you're unable to get the ghost 200 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,900 out of my husband, is there some sort of refund policy, or...? 201 00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:04,424 Hello? 202 00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:05,816 Well? 203 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,035 That was the only priest I found 204 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,776 who didn't immediately hang up on me. 205 00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:11,213 And he can't make it till Monday. He said he's slammed. 206 00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,954 You mean I got to walk around with this Victorian lady 207 00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,912 inside of me till Monday? 208 00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:16,784 Th-The important thing is we have a solution. 209 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,568 The ghosts have literally seen this work before. 210 00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,265 You're gonna be okay. 211 00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,180 Everything is gonna be okay. 212 00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:25,445 Sam, the wedding planner's here! 213 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,011 Oh, God, we're so screwed. 214 00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,232 Mr. Davenport. 215 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,800 Please come in. 216 00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:36,020 Welcome. 217 00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:38,893 I'm Samantha and this is my husband Jay. 218 00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:40,721 I am a man. 219 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,940 And as such, I will shake your hand. 220 00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:47,945 Mr. and Mrs. Arondekar, it's a pleasure to meet you... 221 00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:49,686 Oh, my. The last time I felt palms this soft, 222 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,558 I was shaking hands with a Vanderbilt. 223 00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:53,081 That felt like a misstep. 224 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:55,213 He makes jokes, but don't worry, he makes food 225 00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,998 way better. Good pivot. 226 00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:59,870 Hmm. It's a little more beat-up than in the pictures. 227 00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,872 Sam and Jay have taken forever with the renovations. 228 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,613 Mostly due to the fact that they are... 229 00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:05,528 ...very poor. 230 00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,226 I'm confused. I thought, uh, I thought you were Jay. 231 00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:10,402 Oh, yeah, Jay likes to refer to himself in the third person. 232 00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:13,493 It's one of his many interesting talented chef quirks. 233 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:16,800 I'm back. 234 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,280 Oh. 235 00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:21,152 Uh, okay, shall we discuss the menu? 236 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:22,850 This is a train wreck. 237 00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:25,505 Yes, the menu. 238 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:26,767 Of course, okay, first of all, Michael, 239 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:29,117 so glad you came up here, and, um, 240 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,293 as far as the menu is concerned, I was thinking 241 00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:33,164 we could go the traditional route. 242 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,993 We could do a poached salmon, root vegetables, 243 00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,691 maybe a demi-glace. 244 00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,954 Tried and true. Exactly. 245 00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:40,955 But you're not tried and true, are you? 246 00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:42,043 And neither are Kenny and Liz. 247 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,132 So, for their wedding, 248 00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:46,438 I have planned something that I think 249 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:51,835 is going to knock your socks off... 250 00:08:53,881 --> 00:08:55,926 No, what-what, well, what is it? 251 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,667 What is it? What is it? 252 00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:01,541 Ooh! 253 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,368 Sorry. 254 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:04,805 Hmm, that was strange. 255 00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,023 I don't know what happened there. Where were we? 256 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,242 Well, the menu. I'm rapt. What is it? 257 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,374 The menu? For the wedding, let's have it. 258 00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,246 You know, there's a Diet Coke in the kitchen with your name on it 259 00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:12,508 I have yet to offer you. 260 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,554 Ooh! Boiled calf's head. 261 00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,294 Heron pudding. 262 00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:17,252 Eel pie. 263 00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:18,906 Beaver tail. 264 00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:21,082 And squab. 265 00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:23,824 I love it. 266 00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:24,781 Of course you do. Huh? 267 00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,087 A heritage menu celebrating 268 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,523 the history of the Hudson Valley. 269 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,700 It's remarkable. No one is doing anything like this. 270 00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,397 Well, we do things differently around here. 271 00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:36,053 Oh, can I trouble you for some cocaine? I'm all out. 272 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:38,142 There's that jokester. You know, 273 00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:39,535 we're just gonna be in the kitchen fixing things up, 274 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,754 but you-you relax. 275 00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:41,755 I'm not joking. 276 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:42,582 Hmm. 277 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,846 Jay. Jay, where are you? 278 00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,108 We need you. Just... 279 00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:48,544 Oh! 280 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,893 Ow! 281 00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:51,591 It was already me. 282 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,636 Sorry, I didn't know. W-Wait, where do you go? 283 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:54,724 What happens? I don't know. 284 00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,508 It's so weird. When she takes over, 285 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:57,988 it's like I'm there but I'm not there. 286 00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:00,730 I can see, I can hear, but I can't talk. 287 00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,993 Can you hear her voice, like, inside your head? 288 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,212 Yeah, actually, I can hear her right now. 289 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:05,735 She talks kind of old-timey. 290 00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:07,345 She's really not a fan of you having a job 291 00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:09,130 or being able to drive. 292 00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:10,566 Oh. I know it's strange, 293 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,263 but it's kind of sweet that you two met. 294 00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,701 Not ideal circumstances. Quick, 295 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,311 before she takes over and shoves me aside again, 296 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:17,704 what are we going to do? 297 00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:19,140 We don't have any of the things 298 00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,924 that she told the wedding planner we were gonna make. 299 00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,665 Well, isn't there, like, a-a fancy shop 300 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,885 or a specialty meat place that you know about? 301 00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,713 People don't eat boiled calves' heads and beaver tails anymore. 302 00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,540 We found better things. 303 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:31,108 What about squab? I feel like I've heard of that. What is it? 304 00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,588 It's, like, a game bird. It's kind of like a pigeon, 305 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,416 but I don't know where we'd find one in the next hour. 306 00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:37,680 I'm confused. 307 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,464 You want the birds back? 308 00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:41,031 Uh-huh. Yep. 309 00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:41,815 But why? 310 00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,773 W-Well, I just... 311 00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:45,688 You know, I thought about it a little more, 312 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:48,473 and I realized that getting rid of them might be inhumane. 313 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:51,259 Babe, I need those pigeons ASAP, okay? 314 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:53,304 I'm reading online that they take an hour to cook! 315 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:54,654 Hey, Murph! 316 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:00,050 Thank you. 317 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,712 Yeah, that's coming along. So, can Hetty taste 318 00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:12,715 what he tastes even when she's not in control of the body? 319 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,891 Well, if it's anything like when I possessed that workman, 320 00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:17,067 then yes. She can taste. She can touch. 321 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:19,548 She feels everything he feels. 322 00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:21,593 I'd give anything to taste a Hot Pocket again. 323 00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:25,249 Ooh...! 324 00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:27,295 Mmm! 325 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:30,428 Tasting food for the first time in 130 years. 326 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:36,217 If women had orgasms, this is what it would feel like. 327 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,089 Hetty! 328 00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,961 Please stop taking over my body, okay? 329 00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,485 I got a sauce simmering, and you don't know anything 330 00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:44,965 about cooking. Oh, let her live! 331 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,445 Come on. Seriously. Dick move, bro. 332 00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:50,753 So, uh, we could talk more about the chocolate fountain. 333 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,102 We've gone over the fountain three times now. 334 00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,625 What I'd like is to sample 335 00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:56,585 the cuisine you said would be ready over an hour ago. 336 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:57,847 Mm, dude ain't happy. 337 00:11:57,891 --> 00:11:59,544 My patience is coming to an end. 338 00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:02,199 I promise it'll just be a teensy-weensy bit longer. 339 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,506 Trust me, that man really knows what he's doing in the kitchen. 340 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,116 Oh, my God! 341 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,076 I've never tasted peanut butter! 342 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,468 Mmm!You got to help, Sam, Flower. 343 00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:13,428 Okay. I'm sending you really good vibes, Sam. 344 00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:16,126 I'm sorry. I think I've made a mistake coming here. 345 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:17,258 You two aren't ready 346 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:19,782 to hold a toddler's birthday party, 347 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,610 much less a Davenport wedding. 348 00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:22,611 Mm. Oh... 349 00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:24,178 No, I mean your power. 350 00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,441 You know, what happens when you walk through people. 351 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:27,964 Oh! No, wait, 352 00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:30,010 please don't go. We really need this wedding. 353 00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,186 I will say this once, so hear me loud and clear... 354 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,233 Oh... 355 00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:39,367 I am high as a songbird. 356 00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:41,586 Whoa... 357 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:42,805 What are you doing? 358 00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,720 Buying you time. Now go get lunch ready. 359 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,591 This ain't gonna last forever. 360 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:47,723 Tell him to look at the wallpaper in the bathroom. 361 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,811 Trust me. 362 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,813 ♪ 363 00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:54,034 Whoa... 364 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,914 God bless her. This is exactly what I'd be doing. 365 00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:06,307 Bye-bye, chiseled physique. 366 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:07,482 Mmm. Jay? 367 00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:09,614 What is going on? 368 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:10,615 Oh, Hetty's started to, um, 369 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:11,791 enjoy Jay's body 370 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,140 a bit more. Samantha, 371 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,403 Cheetos are divine. 372 00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,579 This is a bender. And I have seen some epic benders. 373 00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:20,582 Lehman Brothers Thursday happy hour was the stuff of legend. 374 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,410 Oh! 375 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,805 I'm back. Sam, she's getting stronger. 376 00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,067 It's getting harder and harder for me to keep her from... 377 00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,417 Oh! Silence! 378 00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,811 Mm, tired of your blathering. 379 00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:34,204 This is like watching McEnroe-Connors. 380 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:37,381 Hetty, I need you to let Jay finish cooking. 381 00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:41,777 No! For the first time in 130 years, I'm actually living, Sam. 382 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,345 And I won't let you take that away from me. 383 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:48,044 We're not waiting for any priest. 384 00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:50,351 We're doing this exorcism ourselves. 385 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:51,700 Awesome. 386 00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:58,272 ♪ 387 00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,102 How are you doing, Michael? 388 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,017 It's all good in the hood. 389 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,496 Yeah, you got about a half an hour 390 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:06,889 till Cinderella's carriage turns back 391 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,978 into an uptight wedding planner. 392 00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:09,892 Do you need anything? 393 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,154 Suggest crayons 394 00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:12,590 and a coloring book. 395 00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:15,245 Maybe crayons and a coloring book? 396 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:18,901 That would be amazing right about now. Yeah. 397 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,207 I'm an excellent guide. 398 00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:24,907 And that is how you perform a home exorcism. 399 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,778 If you liked this, please check out my other how-to videos, 400 00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:28,128 including DIY vampire killing 401 00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:30,652 and rom-com writing made easy. 402 00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:33,481 So, exorcism for dummies. That's what we're doing here? 403 00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:35,570 If you have a better idea, now would be a really good time 404 00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,659 to share it.Having gone through one myself, 405 00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,704 I will say that instructional was quite on point. 406 00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,576 And it's well-paced, too. 407 00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,143 Sam, are we sure about this? 408 00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,144 I mean, you're really gonna tie Jay 409 00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,537 to the bed? And with those knots? 410 00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:48,061 We're out of options. 411 00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,628 We can't keep Michael Flower'd back there much longer. 412 00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:51,629 I could walk through him again. 413 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,240 But it does hurt me a lot. 414 00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,416 And also he might start to forget childhood memories. 415 00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:56,634 Oh! 416 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,680 Damn these solid doors! 417 00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:01,422 Oh! Samantha, you said you had something up here 418 00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:02,727 called Hot Cheetos. 419 00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:04,686 I must know how they keep them warm. 420 00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:06,209 I-I actually just needed to talk to you, 421 00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:07,950 and I didn't know how else to get you out of that kitchen. 422 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,691 Why are there ropes on the bed? 423 00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:14,130 Hetty, I know you've had fun in that body. 424 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:17,742 But Jay and I have a lot riding on today going well. 425 00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:19,788 We need this to end now. 426 00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,007 An exorcism? 427 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,922 No! I don't want to. 428 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,445 I'm not ready. Hetty, it's time. 429 00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,099 I need my husband back. 430 00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:28,014 Stop thinking about yourself. Think about Jay. 431 00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:29,537 That's just it. 432 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,147 I never thought of myself. 433 00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,149 My whole life, I did everything for my husband 434 00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,716 and put my needs second. 435 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:38,111 I didn't live the life I should have. 436 00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:41,114 There are so many things I didn't get to do. 437 00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:43,029 I've never been to Paris. 438 00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,030 Okay. 439 00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:45,857 Well, now I have another chance. 440 00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,859 And I'm not going to waste it! 441 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:53,213 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No! No! No! 442 00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:58,609 Ow! 443 00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,350 Damn it! 444 00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:05,051 Hetty! 445 00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:09,098 Okay, she won't even be able to turn the car on. 446 00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:11,057 Unless Jay has his key in his pocket. 447 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,843 Uh, how do I turn you on? On, on? "Start"? 448 00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:16,279 It can't be that simple. 449 00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,411 Hetty! 450 00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:18,586 Stupid auto lock! 451 00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,069 Please! Come on! You-- No. 452 00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:25,158 Paris, here I come! 453 00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,247 Hetty! No! 454 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,033 What do you think'll happen when they get to the end of the property? 455 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:32,208 Either the speed gets 'em through the boundary 456 00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:33,514 or he bounces back. 457 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:34,819 Maybe Jay dies. 458 00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,169 I don't know. This is a new one. 459 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,606 ♪ 460 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,440 ♪ 461 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,447 I'm back. Aah! 462 00:16:58,495 --> 00:16:59,627 Jay! 463 00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:02,934 Whew. 464 00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:06,547 Au revoir, Paris. 465 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:08,984 Oh. 466 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,420 Jay. 467 00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:13,641 Jay. Jay, are you all right? 468 00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:15,077 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh! 469 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,688 Yeah, I think so. W-Wait, is she out of my body? 470 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,386 Yeah. Yeah, she flew out when you hit the ghost boundary. 471 00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,562 Oh, my God, I'm so happy you're back. 472 00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:22,911 Ah. I'm happy, too. 473 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:24,434 Is she okay? 'Cause I feel drunk. 474 00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,610 Oh. Sam! 475 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:28,438 Your wedding planner's losing interest in the coloring book! 476 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,136 You better get in here! 477 00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:33,008 Let's go. Ooh, I hope our house has tasty pigeons. 478 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,011 I'm not entirely sure 479 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,534 what came over me. 480 00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:39,101 I, uh, did take 481 00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,190 some allergy medicine for the pollen out here. 482 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:43,845 Oh, definitely the allergy medicine. 483 00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:44,933 Oh, yeah, that can be 484 00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:46,804 pretty strong these days. Uh, 485 00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:49,329 so sorry it's a little bit late, but... 486 00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:50,808 worth the wait. 487 00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:52,462 I'll be the judge of that. 488 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,821 Mmm. 489 00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,606 Hmm. 490 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,303 Is that a good noise? Is he happy? 491 00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:08,870 Mm... 492 00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:10,350 Mmm. 493 00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:11,699 Hmm? 494 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:14,484 Mm, what is this spice? 495 00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:15,529 By the looks, I'd say paprika 496 00:18:15,572 --> 00:18:17,183 or maybe saffron. 497 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,185 But, no, that's not it. 498 00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:20,969 It's unlike anything I've ever had. 499 00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,971 What you're tasting, Michael, 500 00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,625 is Cheetos dust. 501 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,498 Cheetos dust? 502 00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,152 That's right. Really? 503 00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,023 ♪ 504 00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:36,724 How whimsical. 505 00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:37,986 I love it. 506 00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:39,509 Oh, my God. You do? 507 00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:42,773 Mmm. Such an inspired update on a traditional dish. 508 00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:45,863 Mmm. Mr. and Mrs. Arondekar, 509 00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:47,778 the wedding is yours. 510 00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:48,562 Yes! 511 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:50,912 Hell yeah! 512 00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:52,087 Now, from where do you, um, 513 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,263 source your squab? 514 00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:56,265 Uh... locally. 515 00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:58,876 Very, very... locally. 516 00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:07,842 I just have one question. What were Sour Patch Kids like? 517 00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:10,453 It was a flavor explosion, 518 00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:11,889 my dear. I know you're disappointed 519 00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:14,327 that you didn't get the chance to leave, but... 520 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,285 if it means anything, we're happy to have you back. 521 00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,548 It was an exciting day. 522 00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:21,551 But it was strange not to be able to see you all. 523 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,945 It has been my constant dream for the last century. 524 00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,730 But then, when it actually happened... 525 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,210 I missed you guys. 526 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,907 Aw, really? You missed us? 527 00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,387 I'm not repeating it. 528 00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:34,085 Hetty, hey, how are you feeling? 529 00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:36,044 A little embarrassed by my actions. 530 00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:39,003 But if you'd lived my life, you'd understand. 531 00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:42,920 Don't live your life with regrets, Samantha. 532 00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:45,314 Go after your dreams. 533 00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:46,359 Because you are only here for a short time. 534 00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,666 If you're lucky. 535 00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,886 That's good advice. 536 00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:54,671 I'm sorry that I... got a little carried away today. 537 00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:56,369 And I'm grateful 538 00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,501 that you didn't try to fornicate with me. 539 00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,460 Uh... hey, Hetty, 540 00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,331 wherever you are. Uh, just wanted 541 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:03,985 to say thanks for helping me with the menu. 542 00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:05,595 I wish I could say I owe you, 543 00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:06,901 but you kind of kidnapped me 544 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:07,989 and tried to take me to Paris... 545 00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:09,686 so let's just call it even. 546 00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:10,861 That's fair. 547 00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:12,167 Hello? 548 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,300 It's the electrician. 549 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,171 Oh, no, you can't make it till next week? 550 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,564 He's canceling. No, no, no. 551 00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:19,130 Give me the phone. 552 00:20:20,349 --> 00:20:21,698 Hello. 553 00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,352 You listen up and you listen up good. 554 00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,484 You will honor your commitment 555 00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:26,225 or we will find a new electrician. 556 00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:28,139 Do you hear me, guttersnipe? 557 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:31,578 Cool. Thanks. Bye. 558 00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:32,927 He's on his way. 559 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,494 That was kind of sexy. Ooh. 560 00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:36,496 I guess I still have a little bit of Hetty left in me. 561 00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,280 That wasn't. 562 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,282 Oh, that's right. You're related. 563 00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:51,511 Captioning sponsored by CBS 564 00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:53,556 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org39837

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