All language subtitles for All This Panic (2016)_en

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GIRL:
Do you think if you could,
like, go back

and start high school over
knowing everything you know now

about, like, high school,
would you?

GIRL 2:
No.

GIRL 1:
I think I'd do it over.

GIRL 2:
Really?

GIRL 1:
I'd do sort of the same things,

just different.

[CHEERING]

MAN [ON SPEAKER]:
New game.

I was doing so well!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Okay.

[WOMAN SINGING IN JAPANESE
OVER SPEAKER]

I live with my mom
and my dad.

Um, I spend a week with my dad,
then a week with my mom,

and then I just switch.

So I was in sixth grade,
and it was,

like, halfway through the year,

and we'd always watch Avatar
the last day together.

So my dad paused it,
and was like,

"so me and your mom
are getting divorced."

As, like, casual as possible.

So I thought he was kidding.

We all thought
that he was kidding,

and then he was like, "no."

LENA:
Daddy? Hey.

I was wondering-- I'm going
to go to a concert with Ginger.

Is that okay?

No, it's not--
It's a teenage concert.

It's not like a huge concert.
It's a small concert.

With bands
from my school playing.

Can I be home
at 12:30?

Okay.
I'll be home at 12.

I don't actually
go out often at all,

because I have debate
tournaments on weekends

all the time, so I haven't
had a life forever.

So in the spring,
I go overboard.

Not overboard,
but in the spring,

I'm just like, "yes!
I can do things on weekends!"

Okay,
I'll be right back.

So you got the weed?
Yeah.

Oh, good lord.
How much did you take?

What happened was,
I sat in his computer chair,

and I was like, "let me
just tie my shoe, Dad."

So while I was tying the shoe,
I slowly swiveled to the left

more and more and more,

and I just grabbed it.

Hey!

I have a little brother.
He's...

WOMAN:
Over at a friend's house.

Over at a friend's house
right now.

This is my lovely room. It's
small and teeny and not messy.

Are you sure? I feel like Rafael
didn't want me to come.

Why would you think that?

Because he sounded like,
"oh, Lena's coming?"

Why would he invite me
and not you?

Because...
He's closer to you.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean
he wants me at his party.

They could dislike me.

But then they must dislike me
if they dislike you.

No, that's not true.
Yes, we're different people.

I'm just gonna text him
and ask him.

Oh, my God, you suck.

It doesn't hurt you.
It does.

If he says I can't come,
then I don't want to be there.

No, please, Lena.
That'd be more uncomfortable.

No cat eye!

This is a lot of makeup.
I really like it on you.

I really don't like
this much makeup.

Please.

I'm petrified
of getting old.

I can't stand the idea that
someday, someone will tell me,

you look a bit old
for that outfit.

Or those kind of comments.

It terrifies me.
I don't want to age.

I think that's the scariest
thing in the entire world.

I'm not really in a clique,
I don't think.

I guess, if I was in one, it'd
be, like, my lunch table group.

I don't know.
It can be annoying

because they just don't hang out
with anyone else.

It's their friend group.
It's not like they have to.

But I've hung out
with them individually.

But then when
I ask them to hang out,

they're like, "oh,
I'm hanging out with my group."

Then become
part of the group.

I don't want to be
part of their group.

Then I can't hang
out with anyone else.

Then just deal with it.

No, I'd rather hang out
with a lot of people

than just one group.

It's sort of what
parties you go to,

you end up in those cliques.

DUSTY:
There's popular kids
who don't go to parties.

Not really.
In freshman year.

In freshman year because
freshman don't go to parties.

I look good in your glasses.

They match your brown hair.
[SCOFFS]

So I think this
will be awesome, hopefully.

A beautiful cabinet
of alcohol.

[PHONE RINGS]

LENA:
Olivia?

All right, I'm buzzing you in.

GIRL:
We're not allowed
to sleep over.

GIRL 2: Why?
GIRL 1: ...convince your mother.

GIRL 2:
Your mom is actually
the coolest person ever.

GIRL 3:
Hey, anyone know how to sew?

GIRL 4:
Not even a little bit.

[CHATTERING]

GIRL 2:
Also in the fridge.

More soda, hummus.
Um, we have more chips.

LENA:
So the first part
is just, like, my friends,

and then after that
is just sort of open to people

who are normal and sane,
who are my friends' friends.

And hopefully, one of them will
bring someone attractive.

GIRL:
Yeah, I think
the dress will be done.

[LAUGHS]
[PHONE RINGS]

Hello? Hey.
That's fine.

Everyone's late except for
the people helping set up. Bye.

GIRL:
Whoa.

[CHATTERING]

Ginger!

Thank you guys for helping.
I do love you.

Keep the champagne
in the bucket.

[VACUUM WHIRRING]

[CHATTERING]

[STOVE IGNITER CLICKING]

GIRL:
There was a group of boys
that was like, 15, right?

They literally just
kept giving us weed.

What they did is just
like roll up four...

and they just kept passing it.
You'd take a hit,

and then, just be like,
oh!

GIRL:
So people left at like,
11:30, 12.

The last part, there weren't
that many people left.

LENA:
After our party, either
my therapist, or the neighbors,

or somebody called ACS.

WOMAN: What's ACS?
Children's services.

Protective services.

Somebody called, they came by
Monday or Tuesday

and they said, "we hear there
is going to be a party here

for teenagers,
with alcohol, unmonitored."

And since I'm the adult,
everybody yelled at me.

You know,
minors alone with alcohol,

and, you know,
I understand that, I really do.

I just, um... that's all.

So tomorrow's the first
day of junior year.

And...

I'm not ready to go back.

There's all this panic and
everybody's texting one another,

and freaking out about
what they're going to wear,

and everybody's
sending pictures.

You know,
"do any of these work?"

And she sent,
one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven pictures.

And she looks beautiful
in all of them. Like...

I think it's going to be
different for you,

not having your sister
in school with you.

'Cause it's
just going to be you

that everybody's basing
their opinion off of.

Which is going to be kind
of nice, don't you think?

I don't know. That's how I feel
about Neil not being there.

I mean, it's weird
to start school

without having her start school,
'cause, like,

we've always been
at the same schools pretty much.

DELIA:
But not having him at home, not
having him in the room over,

like, is gonna be very weird.

Yeah,
I don't have that problem,

since Ginger's
not going to college,

and doesn't really have a job.

[LAUGHING]
I like those sunglasses.

Thanks. I found them in, like,
a toy box in the desert.

I thought you were going
to say in a dumpster.

I think Dusty's going to be
the first to get a boyfriend.

I doubt that.
Mm.

Probably Delia.

No, but you, like,
talk to people.

So do you.
Not really.

I talk to people
I'm friends with.

Yeah, but you're friends with
all these boys who like you.

Nah--
Who are, like, attracted to you.

I don't think so.

But...

[LAUGHS]

What? It's not uptown.
Crown Heights?

Isn't that farther
into Manhattan?

No, it's in Brooklyn.

That's Morningside Heights.

Um, Sunnyside. Some heights.

No, there's also
a Crown Heights.

She's wrong.
I'm not.

You can Google it.

GINGER:
Ginger has never
been caught drunk,

but Ginger has come
home drunk multiple times.

She's been caught.

I haven't been caught. They've
never actually caught me.

I had to call Ginger's mom
from a party the other night.

But you didn't
tell her I was drunk.

I said, "Ginger's feeling
very, very, very tired."

Yes... Anyway.

Not okay. Don't touch my phone
or call my parents ever again.

You okay, Ginger?
No.

You were vomiting.

Who cares? Everyone vomits.
It's a party.

Not everyone vomits.

Also, there's no other reason
I would have been calling her.

"Ginger lost her phone."
"Ginger's phone is dead."

So why wouldn't she
just talk to you?

Then she would say,
"can I talk to Ginger?"

You don't call my mom,
full stop.

Everyone said,
"call Ginger's mom."

You just pretend to.
You don't actually.

I never actually called
your parents when you were sick.

I called them for myself.

That's because
you were crying

and forced us
to give you the phone.

Because I'm responsible.
Yeah.

For myself.
No.

Regardless, I've never
been actually caught.

[***]

LENA:
My mom got laid off from work

just very recently.

I just moved in here with
my dad like a few weeks ago.

It's really far away
from everything.

A lot of things
in this house don't work.

My brother had to go
to a hospital

for a few days,
and when he was signed in,

my dad was the one
who signed him in.

He hasn't spoken
to my dad since then

which has been
really hard on my mom,

'cause now she only
takes care of him.

Did you know that she was--
Have you told them

that she was declared negligent?

Yeah, but--
By Child Services.

But she shouldn't have been
declared negligent

for Nathan not going to school,
but--

It wasn't just school, though.
But, I mean--

He wasn't getting the kind of
psychiatric care he needed.

Well, he's going to
Dr. Dickstein and Betty.

Now he is.
Yeah.

And he was going to Betty--
Negligence!

Mom is not negligent.

Plus, they were going to declare
you negligent,

but you just barely
got out of it.

I didn't just barely
get out of it.

I mean...
You did, just barely--

No, I didn't just barely
get out of it.

Okay, whatever. I guess
it's not a big deal. But, um...

Well, it's a big deal to me.

Okay, fine.
You weren't negligent.

A-ha!

I made a horrible mistake
freshman year

and I took my dad's advice
which was...

just sort of float
from person to person

and don't make any close bonds,
that way you're not trapped.

And, now, I'm just a floater,
and it's not as fun.

And I wish I'd not
taken his advice

and just made
a ton of close friends.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hey.

Inside. In the clear.
All good.

You know, people assume
you're stupid if you don't go.

It's like, "oh, she's not
going to college."

She obviously isn't
smart enough to get in,

or they assume you're broke
and you can't afford it.

So I'm going to try
just acting

and traveling, and...

Yeah, maybe when I'm older,
maybe when I'm not still dumb,

I'll go.

And I can make more friends
and I can meet people.

You know. School isn't the only
way to make friends, I hope.

I did a school play
in seventh grade.

And I really liked it,
and I had fun,

and I liked being on stage,
and I liked the attention.

That you could
use your emotions

to control
how someone else feels.

It's almost like a superpower.

Uh, this is my mom's room.

She has, like,
a vision board.

And then, like, I always
kind of knew she thinks

this painting is representative
of her and my dad,

which is cute.
It doesn't look like them,

but it's, like, them.
Their essence.

WOMAN:
Sage, I really want
you to go to the prom,

because it's something
you're going to remember

for the rest of your life.

SAGE:
No, I don't want to go to prom,

because I've already
been to prom once. It sucked.

You went to somebody
else's prom.

SAGE:
At our school!

But you weren't
the prom person,

and these are people you've
been with since kindergarten.

Okay, Sage, look in my purse,
and get some money.

WOMAN:
You're an 18-year-old...

SAGE:
Oh, my God,
I have so many chores.

I do so many chores.

If I plan on going out,
I have to plan from 10 a.m.

so that I can get
all my laundry done,

and, like, clean my room,

and, like, wash the dog.

It's just, like,
a lot of stuff.

Then I have
to get my mom's approval.

And then I get to leave.

WOMAN:
I'm giving you $50
for other groceries.

Do you actually
want me to grocery shop,

or do you just want me to get
stuff that I want to eat.

How do I get it back?

"How am I gonna get it
back here"? Are you kidding?

Mom, you're the one who
gets it delivered back here.

All the time. I didn't
just pull that out of nowhere.

Like, "I don't know
how to carry things."

That's 'cause you always
get it delivered,

so I wanna know what the number
is for the delivery service.

Oh, my God.

You're making me so annoyed.
WOMAN: Okay. Bye.

See you.
SAGE: So annoyed.

Make sure you get some
juice and some vegetables.

Bye.
Bye. See you.

Bye.

Hi, Miss Drake.

I have a curfew.
It's 12:00.

It's really early.

Ivy and, like, everyone, they
just stay out until whenever.

I'm not allowed to do that.

My mom's black.
She's not down.

She's Caribbean.
She's from Jamaica.

She's, like,
a single parent now,

so she gets
really nervous when I go out.

You know the boy?

A little bit has happened
since I last talked to you,

but not much.
What? What's happened?

Nothing significant. We've
just spent more time together.

Have you clarified
your relationship status?

No. That's not a thing.

I mean, okay, it's a thing.

[WHISPERS]
Have the talk.

I know that cliché,
"it's not you, it's me."

Sometimes,
I feel like that with him.

Like, it's my fault that things
aren't working the right way,

because...

Because I can't make up my mind.

Ginger invited me to hang out
before we were fighting.

I don't think I'm going to go,
I think.

I feel like you and Ginger
are always fighting,

just to varying degrees.

That's true.
We are always fighting.

It's exhausting.

[SIGHS]
Yeah.

It is.

We were talking
about this earlier.

The more we see ourselves
in others in ten years.

Yeah, it was fun.

It was a good list.

For a long time I thought
I'd be a philosophy professor.

And for a long time before that,
I thought I'd be an actor.

Before that, you thought
you'd be the president,

and open a pie shop.

No, a bakery, and before
that I thought I would be

a president/actress/baker,

and I would video chat
with China.

But that was
in sixth grade. But...

I feel like you're gonna end up
somewhere no one expects you.

Things happen to you
and you just say yes to them.

I feel that means you're going
to be in some really cool place.

That's nice.
That's one of the nicest things

anyone's ever said.

Well, people should say
nicer things to you.

[LAUGHS]

There'll be no boys
at Sarah Lawrence.

No. No. Not at all.
No.

It's just true.

Yeah. It's okay.
No, it's not.

I don't know. I wouldn't mind
meeting someone

who I like right away.

Yeah. I guess I wouldn't mind
that in the abstract.

I don't know what I like at all,
though, so...

It probably wouldn't...

What you like,
meaning...?

Anybody-- Like,
what do I want?

I don't know.

LENA:
Hi!

Hey! Nice to see you!

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

That's the boy.

[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]

The point of the party

was there's this guy I've liked
for a very, very long time.

So I thought if I got
him drunk, and me drunk,

and the lighting was dim,

and maybe I'd just
tell him I liked him

and he'd tell me
that he liked me,

or that we'd go into my room,
or something, and...

Just trying my very, very best
to flirt with the boy I like.

And he was like, "oh,
we need to talk, by the way."

And he's like, "I'm getting
vibes you're flirting with me

"and that you've liked
me for awhile,

and I just wanted to tell you
I don't like you like that."

And I lied at first.

I said I didn't like him.

And it was funny, because I was
very, very drunk,

and every time he said something

along the lines of
"I don't like you," I...

I literally just felt
like I was spinning,

and I was about
to fall on the floor,

and he said he was sorry,

and that made
it a little worse.

He said, "are you okay?"

And I just said, "yes,
this is what life is."

I drank a little
more after that too.

So I was really spinning,
and really, really dizzy,

and I went to
the other boy who was there,

and then I took
him into my room,

and that was my first hookup,
or kiss, really.

That was my first, really, kiss.

[SCOFFS]

I don't know.
It was just supposed to....

It was supposed
to be the other guy,

and it wasn't,
and that's how things work.

It just was one of those things
when you expect something

to be amazing and perfect
and it's not.

[GIRLS SINGING]
* And the cat's in the cradle

* And the silver spoon

* Little boy blue
And the man in the moon *

* When you coming home
Dad, I don't know when *

* Know we'll have
A good time then, son *

* You know we'll have
A good time then *

Sorry, we did
order Thai.

Why?
The Indian gets a little--

Oh, take it--
Take it inside.

Did you get some chai pancakes?
What are chai pancakes?

What is that?
That sounds delicious.

Lena was having a party,

'cause Lena wanted
to hook up with a boy

that she liked.
Sorry, are we sharing?

Um, so...
[ALL LAUGH]

I said to Ginger,
I said, "Ginger, be careful.

You're probably best off
not drinking."

No, I said I was being
your wingman for the night.

So we didn't hear anything
until about midnight,

when Lena called up to explain
how Ginger was passed out.

And had gotten drunk.

And they weren't sure
what they should do with her.

Ginger insisted she
wanted to come home,

but she couldn't
sit up, apparently.

GINGER:
She left me. She left me.

I got up and called a cab
on my own, she left me.

LENA:
No! Do you not remember?

I took your earring off,
I literally tucked you in,

You threw a Mexican blanket
over me, one blanket.

And my special
sleeping bag!

I don't know the difference
between tucking someone in

and putting a blanket
on someone.

What?
Nothing.

No!
Nothing.

LENA: I'm sorry I left you.
GINGER: It's fine.

I wouldn't have left you.

I-- Okay.
GINGER: I wouldn't have.

I've never.

You've--
No, literally never left you.

Made sure your parents
found you, or called them.

Right so, if I--
If you were asleep,

and I literally tucked
you into my bed,

GINGER: I'd watch you.
Okay, but we had watched you

for, like, two hours.
GINGER: It's fine.

But apparently it's not fine,
because you keep-- You...

bring it up
in a really angry way.

So don't say it's fine,
if it's not fine with you.

[KEVIN MOANS]

Dad, you can go
upstairs.

I was just, like,
talking to this guy,

who I, like,
don't know at all,

but he's, like,
widely regarded as, like,

very hot.

And I got, like, weird,
and I was, like,

not like weird,
but I was, like--

And I don't really
get tripped up on that stuff,

like, I really don't.
Maybe it's a crush.

But it's not,
'cause I don't know him.

Well, you can have a crush
on someone you don't know.

Nah, but it's not
like that, it's, like,

it's not, like, fun like that,
it was just more like:

[GAGGING]

DELIA:
I have another really close
friend who met a guy

outside of school
and they had sex,

and there's just, like--
Who?

No! Not... Huh?
[INAUDIBLE]

No, no, no.
Who? Somebody I know?

Yeah, yeah.

Wait, who goes to La Guardia?
Yeah!

In our drama class?

Yeah, I think you know this.

Not in our drama class.
No, I don't.

In Kay's...

S?
Yes!

DUSTY:
I hate the whole, like,
losing your virginity.

DELIA:
Yeah, I think it's
really fucked up.

DUSTY:
I know, but it's, like,
the first time, like,

that's gonna be
a memory that sticks,

but I also don't want to let
other experiences pass me by

because I was waiting for
the right one.

DELIA: The right guy.
DUSTY: But not the right person,

but, like,
the right experience.

I think the first time
is always gonna be bad,

'cause it's awkward and you
don't know what you're doing,

and it's just,
like, uncomfortable.

But, like, isn't sex
supposed to be fun?

Isn't that the whole
fucking point?

Yeah, but I think it
may take a little bit.

Oh, yeah, 'cause, like,
everybody tells you

you're too young
to be having it.

So, like--
Or they tell you,

"Oh, you haven't had it yet?
Like, wow."

So it's both like a "fuck you,"
and like a pressure.

But then,
there's also, like--

Like, when did it become, like,
a thing that was so much more

accepted as something that
people did, like, casually?

You know what I mean?
I don't think it is complete

yet, in our grade.
I don't either.

But...yeah.
But senior yet, it totally is.

I always thought
it would, sort of,

more be like, I...

knew some people
like randomly,

and then, like, I'd know
some friends, and then...

Hopefully, not too
far after that,

I'd know myself.
[BOTH LAUGH]

I don't know,
do you think you'll, like,

love someone before
you're out of high school?

Um...
Or do you think you have?

OLIVIA:
I've noticed the girls
that I'm around, I guess.

Everyone sort of
notices everyone.

It's, you know,
automatically assumed

that I liked boys.

And I never told
anyone otherwise.

It took a long time for it
to even occur to me

that I could like girls.

It just slowly dawned on me

that this was gonna be
something I have to deal with

for the rest of my life.

And, you know, maybe someday
it'll make me happy.

So about my parents...

I just don't ever see myself--

At least,
where I'm at right now,

I don't see myself
having a conversation

with them about this.

Feels too personal.

And I don't have it
figured out enough

to tell them one thing
or another.

Um...

And I will tell them someday,
but when it matters.

You know, when I have a girl
that I want to bring home

or something like that.
Right now, it doesn't matter.

I'm excited to go to college.

I want to move out.

[CHUCKLES]

I wanna be a little more...

away.

KEVIN:
Never wanted kids,
never liked kids.

Were you mad when you
found out she was pregnant?

Scared.

Scared. Selfish.

GINGER:
Did you wish
that you had a boy?

No.

Never wanted a boy.
You like having kids now?

Yeah, once you have them,
they're great fun.

You get to have
another go 'round.

Hopefully, do it right,
was the plan.

GINGER:
Oh, I see.

Our parents got it
a bit wrong with us.

What did they get wrong?
What did they do?

They hit us a bit more
than they should have

and they didn't tell us they
liked us as much as they should.

It's not like you do
much better with the liking.

I'm not a hundred percent
on this big 180.

I think that there's
a lack of gumption

that your privileged
upbringing's given you.

KEVIN:
You getting tattoos?

At some point, maybe.
Why?

If I have something I feel
strongly enough about

to get a tattoo.
Nothing is worth

tattooing on you.

SAGE:
I know a girl with
the 2-1-2 tattooed on her

right here.
Are you serious?

GIRL: That's so not cute.
Another girl got a tattoo

in Braille,
but it's not raised.

It's just dots.
GIRL 1: No!

I love this city
so much.

Also, I don't think I could,
like, drive everywhere.

Like, I just don't think that's
gonna be a part of my life.

And delis.
Delis.

GIRL 2:
We were with Ivy, last night.

We've been friends with her
since, like, freshman year.

SAGE:
She was an upper
classman in my, um,

writing and thinking class

and I remember seeing her
and thinking,

"oh, she's like so cool,
like, my life is gonna suck!"

SAGE: Hey, Ivy.
IVY: Hi.

MAN: How you doing?
SAGE: I'm good.

You got mad food,
you got lemons, you got bread.

GABRIEL: You have so many eggs.
GIRL 3: Yeah, I don't know why.

Gabriel, wanna make us
some eggs?

[ALL LAUGH]
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Can I wash my hair
before you cut it?

Do you think--? Okay, great.
Yeah.

[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

SAGE:
It's so long, Ivy.

Oh, my God.
IVY: Yeah, I know.

I need just, like,
an inch off or two.

[***]

SAGE:
When you're little,
you don't want to think

that you're a lot different
than everyone else,

but once you kind of mature
and get into high school,

I feel, like, it's important
to embrace your differences.

There's just so many

weird things that come along
with being a teenage feminist,

because-- 'Cause no one

wants to listen to you.

Because you're a teenage girl
and you know nothing,

and you like boy bands
and you like pink,

and if you don't
then you're gay,

and then if you do
then you're a girly girl,

and you're stupid
and you're an airhead.

Like, the teenage body
is so over-sexualized,

the teenage female body
especially.

People want to see you,

but they don't want
to hear what you have to say.

[BLOWS]

I never wish.
I always forget to.

DUSTY:
I know it's, like, very,

I don't know,
I kind of always wanted

to be a mom.

I don't know,
I really love kids,

and I love the idea of...

making people.

You play such a role
in who they become, and...

I feel, like, it must be
so fulfilling, like,

to have them turn out to be,
like, a functioning

human being who can
do things, like,

you did that.

[***]

I don't know if I want
to go to college yet.

If you don't go, you kind of
just jump into the real world.

versus if you go to college,

you have four more years
to try to

figure out what
you want to be doing.

It's so stressed
in high school,

and you're kind of told,
if you don't go to college,

you're not gonna be able
to get a job after.

and you're not gonna
have a future.

And that's what some of my
friends' parents

are telling them, like,
if you don't go to college,

you're totally fucked, so...

I don't know if their parents
are crazy,

or mine just don't understand

how important it is these days.

It's not cheap in New York,
especially uptown.

KEVIN:
You girls think I should give
you more money

and give you more things,
don't you?

More money? Yeah.

What about
chores and tidying?

We have been ti--
Doing them.

You couldn't even
finish that sentence.

I've told her to not to go
college and bounce around

for a year or so.

Do some work, do some--
I told myself

not to go to college.

That's not entirely you.
Okay, sure.

I just don't see you
being able to move out,

because you don't have a job
yet and you don't have money.

Fuck off,
you condescending bitch.

That was
condescending.

I mean, a little.

KEVIN [STAMMERS]:
Don't make it your goal,

make your goal to--
My goal is to move out.

But also I'll go insane,
watching Dusty and Lulu

still go to regular school
and I'm not.

You know, it already gets
a little bit uncomfortable

sometimes when people
are talking about

the college
acceptance thing.

DUSTY:
It's not that simple,
it's not just...

You can magically have money--
No, it's not that simple,

but it doesn't mean
I'm not willing to try.

KEVIN:
No, but, Ginge, you also don't
have to move out.

I want to.
[KEVIN STAMMERS]

I think it'll settle in
this next year or so.

I think you'll find
your true self.

Why?
DUSTY: I think it's just--

KEVIN:
Well, 'cause that's
the whole point

of growing older, as you
eventually figure out

what's fake about you
and what's real

and hopefully move on
with more of the real.

GINGER:
I don't understand why you
wouldn't want me

to be responsible.
Because I love you,

and I enjoy your company, and I
want some fun time with you.

Most of our teenage relationship
has been you and me fighting.

I want to do the stuff
where you're cool.

I don't want you to move out,
I want fun and friendly years,

I want us to be
best friends.

We were best friends when you
were younger, and then...

we spent the last
six years fighting.

LENA:
I'm at college,
and as opposed to

high school freshman Lena,
who sat at tables by herself,

or, like, hid to the library
or staircases,

I actually, like,
went and was, like,

"Hi, can I sit at your table?
I'm Lena."

And was--
I'm gonna say social.

I was very social,
possibly normal, probably not.

Looking forward, socially,
I want a boyfriend.

That's just-- I want that.

I don't know how
to get one.

I don't know how people
do this boyfriend nonsense.

So that's, uh,
that's a real goal.

A dream.

[PHONE RINGS]
Hey, Mom.

LENA'S MOM:
Your dad just called me
and said

"I heard there was an
incident with Nathan at school.

I want to know
what's going on."

[LENA'S MOM
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

I don't know when they are
or anything about it.

LENA:
My dad and my brother
are living together.

Dad's calling ACS on you?
For what?

LENA:
Mom is staying in
different places.

She's been staying
with some friends,

she was house-sitting
for awhile.

She has a temp job
that she's doing now.

No, no, it's--
I wanna fix it, whatever.

It has to be my problem.

LENA'S MOM:
It has to be your problem?

You know what I mean.

Hold on, just a second...

Okay, here's Nathan.

Can you hear him?
Nathan?

[NATHAN SPEAKS INAUDIBLY]

LENA:
I was just trying to deal
with Dad. I just mentioned--

They asked where you were
and I said you were

having a hard time at school
that day,

and that you were with Mom.

That's what I said,
and so you're meeting with Mom.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to mess anything up for you.

Nathan?

Nathan?

My mother doesn't have a home.

My father is worried
about losing his home,

which means my brother
will be homeless.

And that would be
disastrous.

At this point,
it's important for me

to worry more
about school,

because, if I don't,

if I put myself in a position

where I'm not
gonna be successful,

then ultimately it's just going
to make the problem a lot worse.

DUSTY
I'm glad I grew up
in New York City.

I feel like in a lot
of places, you don't, like,

go out in the same way.

'Cause here you can just take
the train and go

and just, like, sit in a park
all day, like,

you don't necessarily need,
like, a plan.

In, like, some ways, I feel
like you kind of doing, like,

more adult stuff
at a younger age.

My older sister, Ginger,
she's, like,

in some kind of purgatory.

Most of her friends
are in college,

and now there's this group
of kids

who are just all the leftovers,
who didn't go.

Look,
we're twins right now.

[***]

GINGER:
I reconnected with a girl
from middle school, named Ivy.

And she has a friend group,
so I hang out with them

sometimes, like her boyfriend,
and a bunch of people.

What time is it?

IVY:
"Is it cool if
I come around 9:30?"

Yes, my dear.

[CAP POPS]
IVY: I mean,

he's making good money tonight,
for sure.

They're having
two costume contests.

And he's dressed up
as a pirate,

and then he's changing into
my vampire sister,

and then we're gonna fuckin'
make out and shit,

it's gonna be great.

IVY:
Well, I'm hopping into a taxi,
I call you later, bye.

GINGER:
Yeah, no, no, no.
I'm not into that at all.

You wanna get me to Aster Place?

IVY: Are you coming down now?
GINGER: What do you mean?

Like, when you get high.
I know.

* Well you keep telling me

* It won't be long

* Well, that's not right
And that's not wrong *

Hey, Ivy, let me in.

* Come on, talk to me baby

* And don't be so cold

[INAUDIBLE]

* Your kingdom comes
From ashes *

LENA:
I've written, like,
three sentences,

of the letter to
financial aid.

I just said,

my dad's not gonna
pay for school anymore,

he can't afford it,

and my mom's not gonna
pay for school,

because she's still looking
for a house to live in.

So it would be great if
you could give me more money.

And, um, I just don't
really know what else to say.

LENA'S MOM:
I think you need to talk about
your dad's mental decline.

And I have to tell you that
I tried to set that up for you

back when I was writing letters

by saying that I was concerned
about your dad's mental health.

I don't know.
Sometimes I feel like...

I'm too hard on him?
I know.

It just seems that,
to me,

there's something that
seems so wrong there.

There's some kind of thing
that's just not connected.

And I just worry that we're
not catching the right things.

Okay.

If something
catastrophic happens,

I don't want you to have
to miss out on school.

And it sounds like
such a great school for you.

Yes.

It is. You are correct.
Um...

I just don't want that
taken away from you, at all.

Yeah.

I think if we can
get past this--

If we can get past
this situation right now,

we might have some
stability for a little while.

Well, I'm always worried
about you.

What? Why are you worried
about me?

You're a little crazy.

I'm a little crazy. Okay.
But I love you.

I love you too.

Why do you think
I'm a little crazy?

I don't know.

All right, we won't have
to answer that right now.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[BIRD CHIRPING]

IVY:
No. No.

Please shut up.

GINGER:
Are you saying
"pretty bird"?

Shut up.
GINGER: Pretty bird!

[BIRD CONTINUES CHIRPING]
IVY: I hate you.

Pretty bird.

IVY:
He's really hot.

Yeah, he is.
[BOTH LAUGH]

IVY:
I mean, like,
really fucking hot.

I mean, so why are you so
hesitant to find "the one"?

Like, do you have anybody
that you genuinely like?

Not at the moment, no.
Don't you have, like a...

sexual need or something?
Of course, yeah.

No, obvious--

No, I was thinking the other day
that I would love to get laid.

[LAUGHS]
There's so many boys,

I have literally--
When you're hanging out with me,

it's primarily boys.
It is, which is nice,

but that's also why I wouldn't
sleep with them.

I like platonic
boy relationships,

like, they're fun to have.
Yeah, but you have so many

that you could
keep platonic.

And even just have one,
or one and a half.

[BOTH LAUGH]

My dad's like, "I would
rather you had sex

"on a bench, in the rain,
in a park,

than bring a boy home
to my house."

That sucks.

Is it really cold?
It's cold, bring a jacket.

[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

I have a bottle opener.

[LAUGHING]

[CHATTERING]

Let's go inward.

GINGER:
Weed always fucks me up.

[***]

GINGER:
When it gets cold out, and you
aren't going back to school,

that's a really
weird feeling.

LENA:
I've wanted to have, like,
pastel blue hair

for forever.
And so, over spring break,

Ginger came up
and we just sort of

impulsively decided to dye it.

It's not quite the color I want,
but it's really close, like,

it's fun.

LENA:
Ginger comes up
to Sarah Lawrence a lot.

She has her own, like, people,
that she hangs out with

that are not my friends,
so she's up a lot.

I had actually
cut myself for the first time

within the same four days
as Ginger had, probably.

Without either of us knowing.

I had come home
to this meeting

about what we were going to do
with my brother,

right after my dad
had been hospitalized

and he showed us his wrists

which were just,
you know, like...

And I don't know if it was
some sort of response

to the feelings of not knowing
what to do,

a coping mechanism
or some attempt to understand

or something like that.

But I-- Yeah, I cut myself
right up on my wrist right here.

And...

And then I did it
one other time

after that big fight
my parents had.

[***]

I guess I get worried
about Ginger

because we started
at the same time,

and I've stopped.

My dad passed away
two years ago

when I was 16. Yeah.

It happened in, like,
ten minutes.

We were all at home,
it was like 4 a.m.

I think he was feeling weird,
and he went to the bathroom,

and then my mom heard him
kind of just fall,

and then he started seizing
and stuff.

She called my brother
from downstairs,

then I called the ambulance,

but they couldn't,
like, resuscitate him in time.

I definitely feel like I see him
on the street, like, often.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER PA]

It's always, like,
on the train and stuff,

like, businessman or...

Like, right after it happened
I'd have so many dreams,

and it would just be, like,
he'd be there,

and, like,
he wouldn't say anything,

but I would just, like,
know it was him.

And then I'd wake up and, like,
what was the scary part

about them is I just wouldn't
know that it wasn't real.

So I'd, like, go to school
and stuff,

like, go through
an entire day,

but then I'd come home,
and I'd be like,

"Where's my dad?

Usually he'd be home by now,
or like--"

Like, usually
the dog would be walked,

or usually the backyard
wouldn't look like this.

But I didn't have a real, like,
grip on reality at that point.

We were close.
Like, we had this--

We had similar,
like, ideologies.

And, like, he taught me
about the news and politics,

and like--
He wasn't like a professor.

He just, like, knew so much

because he wanted to learn
so much, and, like--

That's what I wanna be like.

No one has really touched
this backyard.

Like, we've kind of tried,

but I think
it makes my mom too sad.

My dad planted that tree.

It's like a dogwood.

And it was a lot smaller before.

Gabriel.

Wake up.

[GASPS]

[SIGHS]

IVY:
Is that the cheddar milk?

Oh, my goodness.
MAN: Right?

It's too sweet.

It's got,
like, sweet peppers in it.

MAN:
Yeah. Fuck off.

I wanna live with you
so badly.

It would be very good.
It would be very good.

It's all about money, though.
That's the sad thing.

[SIGHS]

A lot of people have it,
we don't,

but soon we will.

Soon we will.

Julia!
JULIA: Aah!

We're-- I'm gonna--
MAN: Go that way.

I'm gonna come down right now.
It's right here.

JULIA:
Okay.

[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKER]

IVY:
It's my birthday
and Ginger just texted me.

"I hope you have
a fantastic night. I'm sorry."

Thanks, Ginge.

[***]

GINGER:
She doesn't like it.

DUSTY:
I do.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

GINGER:
She wants me to get a real job.

WOMAN:
She thinks she doesn't have
to do acting classes.

I do think
I have to do acting classes.

When have I said I don't have
to do acting classes?

WOMAN: About a million times.
My God. That's not true.

You say, "I came out of acting
school." Not that clean.

You're not gonna clean this up.
Don't do that.

You're 18. You're not 11.
MAN: Ginger, if she added up

all the days she's worked,
she spent about--

Fourteen days you've been busy
in the last six months.

This is not independence.

You say you wanna be an actress,
say wanna be special, but--

I have been doing jobs...
No, no, Ginge.

You only want greatness
if it's delivered.

Ask your friends, ask anyone if
they think you made an effort.

You had a big talk of how
you're gonna leave school.

You didn't wanna go to college
and do stuff.

You wanted to go straight
into acting.

But you have not done
a damn thing to make it happen.

WOMAN:
No, don't-- Why are you being
so insulted?

MAN: That's the problem with--
WOMAN: Don't get so insulted.

It's too easy right now.

You have a roof over your head
and you're not paying rent.

Ginger, when you didn't end up
going to college,

I said
you shouldn't go to college

because you don't try
hard enough.

You're lazy at the moment.

I'm not willing
to invest money

in your make-believe life

unless you wanna try
and make it a reality.

Don't act like
it's been years.

WOMAN:
It has been. He's not saying
that. It's been a few months.

MAN:
Ginger, you have been sitting
around since you left school.

What I told you
is every day when you wake up,

you need to put an hour
into your acting,

an hour into getting work.

And you should learn
how to become interesting.

Do all the things
to make you interesting.

GINGER:
You say it like
I'm not interesting now.

MAN:
You believe this is the peak.

All I've asked for
is when I bring home something

I worked hard on for you to be,
"That's good."

I don't think I'm fully formed,
I don't think I'm fully grown,

but I hate hearing
all the time from you,

"To become more interesting.

You're not interesting."
You know how shitty that is?

WOMAN:
No one's saying that. How about
the fact that we've asked you

to do acting classes?
We've asked you...

[***]

[GROANS]

I wanna go out
with my friends.

I-- I love them, but, like...

[GROANS]

MOTHER:
I bought myself a Longchamp.

Oh, yes, Mom.

I bought
the Longchamp backpack.

That's nice,
you buying yourself things.

Every now and then.
Dad used to buy me everything,

so it's nice. You know,
I try to keep his tradition.

Well, if you ever--
If I ever had money,

I would totally buy you
some things.

If you ever had money
you'd buy me stuff?

Well, first, I'd pay you back,
and then I'd buy stuff.

Then you could buy me stuff.
[LAUGHING]

I wanna talk
about that weed pipe I found

in the bushes.
Okay, you found it.

It's actually, like... I just
didn't know what to do with it.

I'm not going
to throw it out.

Why not? I threw it out.

I don't know,
I said I'd give it back,

and I just never
really gave it back,

but I left it in there.
I forgot where I put it.

So why did the person give it
to you in the first place?

I don't-- I don't know.
I don't know.

I was really
a little disappointed

that you let me believe
it was your brother's.

And that was disappointing.

That was not cool of me,
and I told him that too.

Okay.
And he knows that.

And I appreciate that.

That I know
that it wasn't cool.

I'm just saying
that I need you to evaluate

why you didn't stand up and
tell me the truth immediately.

That's something that you could
just sit around and think about.

'Cause those decisions are
rooted in your character,

and character is important
to me.

I know you're concerned
about me,

but I'm an adult.

You're not an adult.
You're a young adult.

I mean, I'm legal,
like, I'm--

You're legally an adult,
but I-- Since I--

No-- We could cease and desist
right here.

You're just turning it
into something.

I think, you know,
you should really question

how much of this stuff
are they smoking

that they actually need
like a utensil for it.

People don't hold it up
and pay for it anymore?

If--

Can--? I'm not gonna talk--
Why are you laughing at me?

No, I'm not laughing at you.

It's just funny
'cause, like,

New York City private school,

like, I came out really good
from that.

Like, I came out really good--

You get to say
that you came out good?

How do you say to yourself,
"I came out good"?

No, I-- Because I know people
who didn't.

Like, I know friends
who didn't,

and it's just, like,
I don't know,

I feel
like I came out really well.

Sage--
Too much.

No, stop, you can't laugh.
It's just--

You're gonna have your ass
handed to you.

I can't wait for college
for you.

You can call me
and cry all you want

because you think
you're such a smart ass.

Oh, I can't wait
till life hits you in the rump.

Quote.

Why do you think
you're so funny?

I can't wait
till you figure out

that you're not as smart
as you think.

My God.

Okay, well, whatever.

OLIVIA:
So I'm home
for spring break and...

It's been snowing
for most of the week

that I've been home.

None of my friends are home
for spring break yet.

I think the thing
about high school

is that you don't realize
how tough it is

until you're out of it.

Because it's confusing
and weird and scary,

and you think everybody else
knows what they're doing,

and then you get out of it
and you look back,

and you realize
that you were really confused.

Six months ago, I was...

scared of a lot of stuff.

Um, and six months later,
I've...

figured a lot out.

But I don't regret the, like,
time in between, you know?

[***]

I think I was worried
that if I came out

that was all I would ever be
to anybody.

There is a person who, um...

I've had sort of feelings for
for a long time.

She came up to me in the
library and she sat next to me.

She said, "Olivia, we're gonna
be a great friends one day."

And we were never gonna be
just friends.

Hi, guys.

LENA:
I asked Ginger to give me
some space at college.

Are you good?
Yeah. I'm always good.

No, you're not, but...

Um...

You don't have to be.
That's all.

Stop.
What?

I'm sorry that--
You know, but I...

That I wish this was the last
time you'd come up this year,

but I just don't get
enough homework done.

No, you have to get
your work done.

Yeah.

LENA:
It's been nice having you here
so many weekends.

It's not annoying?

No, it's not annoying.
You don't annoy me.

It only annoys me when you
ask me if you're annoying me.

Like, that's it.
That's the only annoying thing.

GINGER: Bye, baby.
LENA: Bye.

You promise you'll call me.
Yes. Don't worry.

All right.

I'll miss you.
You too.

GINGER:
It's definitely a fear

that your friends are all
gonna move on, you know?

Because they have college
and they have new friends,

and you're scared that...

you're just gonna be
a high school friend.

Just being a little bit low.

[***]

It kind of feels
like I'm depressed.

Lena really wants
me to go see a therapist.

She was threatening to tell
my mom something if I didn't...

[TRAIN CHIMES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING
OVER PHONE]

LENA:
I wanna help.
I don't know how to help.

I don't know how to help.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING
OVER PHONE]

My dad is, um...

He just told my mom
that he didn't know

if he was gonna make it.

You know, he's been saying it
for a while, the end is coming.

He says
if he loses his apartment

he won't speak to me again.

Said he'd disappear.

He made it sound
like he'd kill himself.

He tried to kill himself.

It's just like--
It's-- It's...

It's-- There's...

It just sort of sometimes feels
like the ending of the story.

Like, you know, there's
a movie, there's a story.

It starts with me
being upset

because my parents
are separated,

and that they fight
all the time.

Suddenly,
Child Services is coming,

and they're gonna take away
Nathan.

And then my mother loses her job

and my dad just lost his job.
And then she gets addicted,

and then my dad's about to get
addicted, and then that's--

It just sort of feels like
that's where it's been going

the whole time.

I think it'll work out.

It has to work out.

GINGER:
We are auditioning
for a toothbrush,

toothpaste thing.
They want sibling pairs.

WOMAN:
The reason to go there--

So you don't actually
wanna have dinner as a family.

You just wanted to do it

so you could try and push me
into doing that.

WOMAN:
Yeah, I was very clear
about that.

I wanted to go there to see

if they will be able
to give you a job.

Now you know the reason
to go.

GINGER:
Can we just eat somewhere else?

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

GINGER:
I do.
I just don't wanna work there.

It's not like you're spending
that much money on me.

I don't why you feel
so, like--

Well, Ginger,
you still need to get a job.

Dusty, is it any
of your business? No.

Yes, it is.

How is it your business?
It is.

No, it's not.
How does it affect you?

Because I have to deal
with you.

You don't deal with me.

What the fuck
does that mean?

No, what-- What part of me
does she think she deals with?

Maybe you'd be less of a bitch
if you had a job.

I would still be a bitch to you
because you're annoying.

WOMAN: That's nice.
I'm gonna go get my headphones

so I can ignore her
on the way to the station.

DUSTY:
Don't worry,
I already have mine packed.

Fine, I take it back.
GINGER: Are you my mom?

Is it any of your business?

Bye, Dusty.

DUSTY:
I don't know where
we're fucking going, Ginge.

[SIGHS]

[***]

What do you think you'd be doing
that'd be so much better?

You think
you're that much more adept.

I think that there's a lot more
that you could've been doing

that you haven't been.

I've been doing shit.
It's not fair to say that.

Are you saying you've done
everything you could've done?

No, Dusty, but I'm saying
it's not your business

what I haven't
or have done.

Why can't you just be
my sister?

WOMAN:
Did you go to sleep?

LENA:
For, like, two hours.

It was always--
Yeah, two hours.

Do you ever get those dreams
where you don't know

if you dreamt it
or if it was real?

Oh, my God! All the time.

I fucking hate it.
[CHUCKLING]

Yeah.

And then sometimes
I can't tell

if I thought something
or if it happened.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

You think of a conversation
in your head?

Yeah, you run it in your head,
and you're like--

Yeah.
And then I'm, like,

"Did that happen
or did it--?"

Was it a head conversation?

MAN:
Yeah.

LENA:
I think he knows I like him.

I mean,
I think he's really cute.

We hang out alone a lot.

A lot.

I just like
listening to him talk.

And that's cool 'cause...

Like, I don't know, he just
gets a lot of my concerns,

and he knows
what's going on with my family,

and, like, he gets it.

WOMAN: Yeah.
MAN: Why don't you--?

No, please don't tell me.

Can I read it out loud?

"Hey, I'm leaving Saturday.

"I have an interest of being
sexually intimate with you.

"If you are interested in my,
let me know

because I would love to get
on that bandwagon." Heh.

I accidentally sent
a series of thumbs up to him.

And the results
of the series of thumbs up,

that Facebook sent on its own
without my permission

was that message.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

WOMAN:
You know that he--
He's gonna see

that you've read it now,
though?

Yes. The problem is--

Okay, so--

Fuck.

This wagon's ready to roll.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

* Let's get physical
Physical *

* Let's talk about sex

BOTH:
* Baby
Let's talk about you and me *

[CHUCKLES]

DUSTY:
Our friend made a chart
of everyone who's hooked up.

And then, like, it's very

extensive at this point.
DELIA: Extensive. It's funny.

She should, like, contact
everyone on it and fact-check.

DELIA: Yeah.
But people will deny.

Do you like
that you're connected

somehow to your brother?

Ooh, that makes me feel
really weird.

You're connected somehow
to Ginger, so...

Yeah, well, we're all connected.
It's okay.

You and I are connected.

True.

No, I feel
like a lot would change

if I was closer
with Ginger.

It would be nice to just have,
like, a friend that...

like, lived in my house
and I could hang out with, and--

DELIA:
Ginger always seems
like the world is against her.

Like, it always seems
like she feels that way.

Maybe it is.

I think she just got
a little bit stuck this year.

DELIA: I bet it was hard.
At a place.

Yeah, because she just jumped
into the real world.

There wasn't a segue.

She had to make a lot of moves
and decisions.

And she kind of just didn't know
which direction to go

or how to get there.

I feel like I'm not old enough
to be 17.

I thought
I'd be more comfortable

in my own skin.

I don't think I am as grown up
as I should be.

I just feel like I need
a little bit more time.

[HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

How much money did you
make in tips yesterday?

GABRIEL:
Uh, $70.

And, uh...

Plus, like, $25 in cash.

All right, that's not bad.

I brought my Slayer shirt.

My Slayer shirt?
My Slayer shirt.

Dude, I bought that Slayer shirt
in seventh grade.

Whoo...
It's so cool.

[IVY CONTINUES WHOOPING]

It's my Slayer shirt now.
GABRIEL: It is yours.

IVY:
The Jersey Shore.

MAN:
Why don't this fucker
go around me?

Yeah, why don't you
go around me? Please.

[IVY CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry. Oh.

Without parking.

...be here, finally.
Took us fucking forever

to get here. We-- Yeah.

We should have been here, like,
four hours ago, but it's cool.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

MAN:
Dance. Dance.

[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]

IVY:
Game plan is work really hard
this summer, have money,

move out as soon
as you have enough money.

This is the summer of grind.

It doesn't matter.

People work hard
all over the world

from a much younger age,
and they're doing it for,

you know, a lot less
than what I have.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

I picked a mustard one.

Whatever.

[***]

I used to go to school
right over there.

I don't really have, like,
a name for this period yet.

This is like
my launch point.

This is, like, where I'm,
like, building the rocket.

Gonna... boom.

WOMAN:
Thank you.

WOMAN: Argh.
I haven't eaten today.

WOMAN:
You haven't eaten?

So your dad has rent
for the month of May.

I haven't able
to get in touch with him.

He won't answer my calls.
He won't?

Anyway, so it brings up
whether you're gonna stay

with your dad until I can--
He said I couldn't.

He said you couldn't?
Did he say why?

He said I have to pay rent.

WOMAN: Hmm.
LENA: Know what would be fun?

I know I-- We probably couldn't
do it, and it's just whimsical,

but I have friends
all over the country

that would let me stay
with them for a little bit.

And I could get, you know...

Must be nice, you know.

I've worked every summer
since I was 14.

I don't know,
I wanna get to see places

and just be there for the sake
of being there.

WOMAN: Maybe one more year.
LENA: Why?

WOMAN:
Because maybe one more year,

and I'll have
a little bit more security,

you'll have a little bit more
security.

But right now,
if something happened to you,

and you needed money,
nobody could rescue you.

LENA:
I'd be fine.
I mean, like, I'd be fine.

[WOMAN LAUGHING]
I don't know, I just...

I never get to go anywhere.

WOMAN:
So I won't have much left
after this paycheck here.

LENA:
When are you getting paid?

LENA: Tomorrow.
WOMAN: Tomorrow.

WOMAN:
As far as I know.
Unless something goes wrong.

I think
it should all go okay.

I'll get you a phone
and come up this weekend.

And we'll have lunch
at that sushi--

At that Thai place, that was--
With the great noodles.

Okay.
Would that be good?

Yeah.
I still have a lot of work.

Okay.
And it's Mother's Day.

Yeah, right. Yeah.
[CHUCKLING]

We can do that for Mother's Day.
I'll bring you a phone.

Yes, bring me a present
on Mother's Day.

[CHUCKLING]
Sounds excellent.

Okay. All right. Okay.
I like it.

I forgot to tell you,
I'm pregnant, so...

Oh. You've neglected having a--

You're not serious, are you?
No.

LENA:
Bye, Mommy.

WOMAN:
I love you so much.

You are so special.

SAGE:
I'm just lucky
that I didn't go to a school

with like literally
all white people.

Like, I'm glad
I was not the only person.

But at the same time,
like, is that enough?

Heh. And like...

I just had this concept
of diversity,

as, like, a few kids
of color

scattered in, like, a room,

not talking about, like,
where they really came from.

And then I went
to public school,

and I, like,
saw real diversity,

and like how the majority
doesn't mean white.

And like...

It just--
It kind of, like, blew my mind.

Even being middle class
or upper middle class,

like, going to a private school,
you feel like you're dirt poor.

And that is the weirdest
thing ever.

'Cause, like,
I have so much nice stuff.

And, like, I live
in a really nice house.

And, like, you just--

I completely
did not understand that.

I accepted my
scholarship at Howard.

It's just, like,
such a change in environment.

Like... I think
it's gonna be interesting,

It's gonna change my perspective
on a lot of things.

And I think that's gonna be
really good. That'll be good.

I just won't have to, like,
hold my breath.

That's what everyone says.
That--

Like, everyone who goes
to predominantly white school

and then goes to Howard, like--

It felt,
like, they were, like,

letting out,
like, a deep breath

they didn't know
they were holding.

[***]

OLIVIA:
I thought you were
way cooler than me.

What's that?

OLIVIA:
I knew you were
way cooler than me.

You came up next to me
and sat down and said,

"We're gonna be great friends."
And my heart exploded.

[LAUGHING]

I totally remember that.

And I just, like,
looked at you,

and you were watching
a surfing video.

I was like, "Surfing?"

[LAUGHING]

We're gonna be
great friends.

You didn't tell me your name,
and I didn't know what it was.

[LAUGHING]
Did I not? No way.

OLIVIA:
So we were awkward
for like four or five months.

And I told you
I didn't wanna mess anything up.

GIRL: Yes.
OLIVIA: And...

I asked if I could kiss you,
and you said yes.

Which is the dorkiest way
to do it.

I felt like it was--
Like the entire world

was gonna end
or change drastically.

Mm.

And then I finally came out

and no one cared that much.

I feel, like, still up till,
like, recently, like, I'm...

Like, I guess
I am still, like, open.

It's just--
You don't have to be one thing.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm just with you,

and that's fine.
Yeah.

The only time I've ever,
ever talked to my mom

about sex openly was when I was
scared I was pregnant.

That was it.

Why didn't you just get
a pregnancy test?

I was scared to buy
a pregnancy test too.

Scared to be judged
by the cashier.

Yes. Scared to actually
be pregnant. I was like,

"If I don't get tested,
there's no way I'm pregnant."

Any boys?

Not for awhile.
Why not?

Just hasn't been anyone
I'd want to sleep with.

I mean, guy-wise.

What's the furthest
you've ever gone with a guy?

You can use bases if you
don't wanna use details.

This is uncomfortable.

Can I just opt out?
You can't opt out.

I'll talk about like--
No.

There are certain things.

You're open with Mom and Dad...
This is important.

That's because you pretend
you're like Margot Tenenbaum.

DUSTY:
I don't pretend I'm fucking
Margot Tenenbaum.

GINGER:
You do. Like, "You don't
know anything about me."

DUSTY:
Okay, you always pull that
with me.

"Stop pretending
you know who I am, Dusty."

GINGER:
To you. But I'm more open
with Mom and Dad than you.

What's the furthest
you're ever gone with a guy?

I don't know the bases.

DUSTY:
I just wanna forever
be like a child,

never had sex,
never done drugs, never drunk.

I just, like, don't...

You don't want them to ever
know you're a person?

I just don't want to be viewed
that way by them.

I think it's weird.
As a functioning human being?

They can assume,
and I can assume.

We just don't have to talk
about it.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

LENA:
Been hooking up with anyone?

GINGER:
Yeah, I have.

Um...
A really good friend of mine.

Like one of your best friends,
right?

Kind of, yeah.

Someone's in
an almost relationship.

It's not a relationship.
A comradeship?

That's what you're calling it?
Comradeship.

Calling it comradeship.

LENA:
Do you have mustard,
by any chance?

WOMAN: Mustard?
LENA: Great. Thank you.

Did you open it?
Yeah. A tiny hole.

Aw.

LENA:
But you're more
than just hooking up,

and like more
than just friends, right?

GINGER:
I mean, it's odd, because
it's got an expiration date.

No matter what.

Whatever it is,
it's good right now.

That's nice.

Aw.

What are doing this summer?
Possibly just working.

Sucks,
but it's good, right?

Yeah, it is good.

Job, comrade.
All is good in life.

Damn, girl.
A job and a comrade.

Are you excited to travel
this summer?

Yeah.
I'm so excited.

I'm like-- I can't wait.

Willem said I could stay
with him in San Francisco.

Nice.
Yeah, he's cool.

I'm really happy
we're friends.

Like, he's really a good friend.
Yeah? Friends?

Friends.
Comrades?

Friends.
Comrades.

Friends.
You sure he's not a comrade?

Good friend.

How do you feel about him?

GINGER:
I've known her since my freshman
year of high school, actually.

At some point over winter,
I kind of realized I liked her.

So I started scheming,
'cause I'm a schemer.

Like, what can I do

that will still seem
like a friendship thing,

but could also be a date

and she doesn't have
to realize it,

that I'm tricking her into a--?
Like, a borderline date.

And so I was like,
"Ice skating."

Because I knew
that I could hold her hand,

'cause she'd fall over a lot,
so...

It was a great scheme
for getting her to hold my hand.

And then we just, like,
hung out a lot, and, like,

it just sort of gradually
became...

friends who date.

Not friends. Girlfriends.

I'm pretty sure
I'm in love with her.

Actually, I'm not pretty sure.
I know.

[***]

She's moving to Canada
for school.

Ideally, like,
"yes, let's make it work,"

but, realistically,
I'm probably

not the type of person that
could do that for very long.

'Cause you want your friends
to be happy.

'cause they're going on
adventures. At the same time

you're like,
"Wait, take me."

It makes me less unhappy
that they're going places

because I think
I'm going places too.

Okay.

That's that.

Going to Port Authority.

Gonna take the 3:15 a.m. bus
to Columbus, Ohio.

And then I'm gonna see
my friend from college.

I'll stay there for a week.

Then I'll take a train
or a bus to Colorado.

Then I'll go to Seattle
for six weeks,

then hopefully California.

I really love this city.

I was
at the Metropolitan Museum

with all my friends,

and, you know,
we were on acid,

but we were there,
we were in the Greek stuff.

We all held hands
and ran through

all the old European bedrooms,
and--

And then I suddenly
really wanted to go

to where I was as a kid,

into the Egyptian section,
and we all--

We went
into the Temple of Dendur,

and I looked
at all the hieroglyphics and--

And I just realized

that something that was
so everyday for people...

All of that kind of stuff

was in the Met now.
All of it was art.

[SIREN WAILING]

All of it was meaningful
and important, and then--

When I'm frustrated,

when I feel
like nothing is meaningful,

I tend to look inwards
and think about myself.

And I realize
that that was completely

the wrong thing to do.

Even if everything goes
sort of terribly

in my life and--

You know, I don't make
anything great.

At least there's the world
around me to just look at.

And see.

I don't know. It's hard to put
it in a way that isn't clichéd.

It doesn't make it seem silly,
but it's not silly.

It's not.

I don't know.

I'm scared I'll never see
Ginger again, you know.

WOMAN:
Yeah.

When you're a kid,
you're so obsessed with, like--

I was so obsessed
with, like, the age

that you become a big kid.

It's like,
"I'm 8 now. I'm a big kid.

I'm 10.
I'm really a big kid."

And then, like, 11,
you're like, "I'm a preteen."

At 13, you're a teenager.

And then, like, 16,
you're like,

"I can drive
in some places."

Seventeen,
you can see R-rated movies,

and 18 you can vote.
Nineteen, there's nothing.

Twenty, you're in your 20s,

Twenty-one, you can drink.

And at 25, they say your brain
is fully developed

and you can, uh, get a--
Get a Zipcar, so...

I guess that's that.

Stand there. It'll be a pretty--
I don't--

Just stand there.

Just for two seconds
and then I'm done.

God.

It's so pretty.

DUSTY:
We're only 17. It's like,

"What do you want to do
for the rest of your life?"

DELIA:
I'm like,
"Oh, wait, I have no idea."

DUSTY:
Like, "Oh, wait, yeah,
the next, like, 60 years.

Let me figure that out."

Eighty.

No.

If you're gonna live--

Ninety-five.
Ninety-seven.

Think you're gonna live
to 97?

I hope to.

Ninety-seven,
that's the goal.

DUSTY:
It would be nice
if there's something after.

[***]

[HUMMING]

[EX HEX'S "OUTRO" PLAYING]

* Take care, don't beware

* Follow the sound

* I've been up
I've been down *

* I've been around

* I follow
The silver stream *

* Of what I can't forget

* I wait for worlds
That haven't happened yet *

* Take care, don't beware

* Follow the sound

* I've been up
I've been down *

* I've been around

* We lay beside our minds

* And watched
The time grow *

* There was nothing
Left to find *

* And nothing left to know