Original subtitles

NARRATOR: The Adventures of Superman!

Faster than a speeding bullet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound.

MAN: Look! Up in the sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane! MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor from another planet

who came to Earth with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and the American way.

[���]

Are you lookin' for someone?

Yes, yes, yes. How did you guess?

Oh, I just put two and two together

and the answer came out in Mr. Kent.

Ah, he's exactly the young chap I must see!

Well, maybe you must. But you can't.

He's inside in a very important conference.

Young man, nothing in the world is more important than this.

This is the answer to everything.

Hey, will it tell me how to get a raise?

Better than that.

It will fix things so you won't need one. Ha!

Thanks, but the chief already suggested that.

He told me to go jump off a bridge.

Yes.

Well, why don't you go do that while I see Mr. Kent?

I'm sorry, but you're really gonna have to come back later.

Young man, some of us may never come back.

Uh!

[UNDER BREATH] You're crazy.

Oh, I'm sorry, but you can't go in there.

Who says I can't?

It must've been me.

You know, in the good old days,

I'd have a smart punk like you

fitted for a pair of cement pajamas.

Cement pajamas?

Yeah. For a long sleep at the bottom of the river.

It's funny, but e-everybody seems to

want me in the river these days.

Well, it figures.

Come on, get outta the way.

No, look. I've got my orders.

Look, your orders have just been changed, kid.

Oh, uh. You must be Turk J-Jackson.

Right as rain.

We've been expecting you. Go right in.

Turk Jackson?

Yeah. Who do you think I am, Little Red Riding Hood?

Who's them?

Well, them, as you so neatly phrase it,

are Miss Lane and Mr. White, our editor.

Oh.

Okay, okay. Let's get it over with.

First, let me ask you a question, Turk.

Now, you've ruled a gangster empire for 20 years.

Now, all of a sudden you decide to turn yourself into me. Why?

Well, my luck was runnin' out.

It's just a matter of time, see?

So I figured I'd get a better deal if I turn myself in.

Why not go directly to the police?

Because this way I got guarantees.

Kent's got a lot of respect in this town.

DA guarantees him that I'll get a square deal.

So I get a square deal.

Otherwise I haven't got a chance.

You don't deserve much of a chance.

Forget it, Lois.

Now, I've had this confession typed up

exactly as you gave it to me over the phone.

Read it and sign it, and we're on our way.

[���]

Okay, this'll do. Gimme a pen.

Someday this pen'll be a collector's item.

Let's go.

Is he takin' us in, or are we takin' him in?

That is a good question.

[SIGHS]

Hello, everyone.

I've been waiting for you.

Who, us?

Uh, yes.

You see, I am Professor Twiddle.

I am a scientist.

So what?

Now wait. Please.

I know who you are too.

You are Turk Jackson.

You are a gangster.

Well, I'm sorry, professor.

But you see, we don't have time--

Time! That's just the point.

I've conquered it.

With this little machine.

LOIS: Well, that's very nice, professor.

Now, why don't you run home and bury it in your backyard?

Hold it.

Where I'm goin', there ain't gonna be many laughs.

Go ahead, prof.

TURK: Tell us about your time gimmick.

Yes. Well, you see,

it's really very simple.

You just pick out the period in history

that you'd like to go back to,

and I turn this dial, flick the switch and...

[LAUGHS]

...back we go.

You're not tryin' to back out of our deal are you, Turk?

I told you, this is strictly for laughs.

Go ahead, prof, give it a try.

Delighted.

Pick your age.

I'll take any age before paper was discovered.

Well, I think I'd like to go back to where it all started.

Prehistoric times.

Hey, that's not a bad idea.

Prehistoric.

That's when there are no cops.

And I could have the whole territory all to myself.

What about that, professor?

Back to the days of the caveman.

Yes, that would be 50,000 B.C.

Well, everybody ready?

Yes.

Then, here we go.

It worked!

Holy cow.

I did it. I did it.

PERRY: That's the understatement of the year.

Yes, but of what year?

50,000 B.C., like the prof said.

Jeepers. I should've left a note for my mother.

Professor...

I know this whole thing is foolish,

but apparently you did get us here.

You've got to get us back.

Oh. Yes. Uh, Mr. Kent,

now I don't want to alarm you,

but I'm afraid that I have spent so much time

on the process of getting us here

that I have neglected the reverse process.

Aw, that's all right, professor.

I kinda like it here.

But I'll figure it out.

All I need is one certain kind of metal.

Great Caesar's ghost! What sort of metal?

Oh, you can't say

"Great Caesar's ghost" anymore, chief.

He wasn't even born yet.

Yes.

Oh, no!

[GIGGLING]

[GRUNTING]

Madam! Madam, please! Control yourself!

Me Turk. Me friend.

Put it there, pal.

Shake.

[CHUCKLES]

Congratulations, Turk.

You've seem to have made a friend here.

And I've got a hunch we're gonna

need all we can find around here.

[WHISPERING] Right.

That's why I'm takin' over, see?

First, we gotta get some of them duds.

We gotta show 'em we can down to their level.

Hey, duds.

Clothes. Get it?

Oh. Clothes.

Yeah.

Hey, this guy's got possibility.

He does seem to be learning rather fast.

Here.

TURK: Turn it in for a new sundial.

[GIGGLING & GRUNTING]

I've gotta hand it to you, Turk.

Pretty good, huh?

Hey, kid, come here.

Me? Yeah.

Listen, this is gonna make history someday.

Especially when them archeologist guys

get diggin' around.

So I want you to put out a newspaper.

A newspaper?

Well, that's fine. Except we'll need two things.

News and the paper.

Well, I'm news and how I'm takin' over.

And as for the paper, you got rocks, ain't you?

Yes, sir. Especially in my head.

Okay. Back in the cave

and start settin' up housekeepin'.

If there isn't a spare room for me,

chew one out of the rock, will you, Turk?

Just a minute, Kent.

What's the matter?

I hate to do this,

but if the professor finds that metal,

I don't want him to be able to use it.

So I'll take the box.

Well, I'm very sorry, Turk.

But I'm gonna keep charge of this.

You see, you might never wanna go back,

but the rest of us do.

Gimme the box!

[THWACK]

This guy doesn't know when he's knocked out.

Clark, he hit you. I saw him.

Oh, Lois, will you please let me alone?

Oh, no. Somebody has to look after you,

and it looks like I'm elected.

Come on.

Thank you, madam, I am not hungry.

[GRUNTS]

Well, it all may seem like a bad dream, but it's not.

We've actually passed the time barrier.

Yes, but only in one direction.

Backwards.

How do you spell "Neanderthal"?

If you can't spell, you've no business being on a newspaper.

Professor, have you anything to say for the Four Star Final?

Oh, uh, yes.

You may quote me.

Even science can backfire.

Oh, if I only had my calculations.

You see, I left them in my office.

[GRUNTS] If only Superman were here.

Well, Jimmy,

I'm not so sure even Superman can be of much help now.

Jeepers.

No more Saturday afternoons at the ballpark.

No more of those headaches at the office.

I never thought I'd miss them.

Yes, it certainly makes you appreciate

the little things you've always taken for granted.

Okay, where's the girl?

In the other cave.

Hey, woman, come here.

Here, gift.

Okay, so I ain't so popular.

But just get one thing straight, I'm still the law around here.

Can I quote you on that?

Yeah, sure.

Here, put on these duds.

[GRUNTS]

That's for you, junior.

And what about me?

Sorry, buster, this is the last one.

The caveman didn't have too much of a wardrobe.

Now, look, Turk.

What did you actually do with that time machine?

Well, if the professor finds the metal he needs,

and, uh, I ever decide I wanna go back,

then I'll let you know.

[SIGHS]

Well, not bad. [GIGGLES]

Not bad at all.

TWIDDLE: You look very charming, my dear.

[LAUGHS] Chief, where did you get the woolies?

I catch cold very easily.

Who would ever believe that beneath the classy exterior

of the most distinguished editor in Metropolis,

would post such an area of plain old red flannel.

It kinda humanizes him, doesn't it? Ha.

I've had better mobs, but I guess you'll do.

Isn't anyone gonna stand up to this hoodlum?

TURK: Don't anybody ever try.

Oh. Yes. Now look.

I don't care what you do to me,

but I want my time machine back.

Mr. Kent says you have it.

It's perfectly all right, professor.

Don't get outta line, you understand?

Well, don't be ridiculous, it's mine. I want it.

Watch it, professor.

Watch what? Oh.

You wouldn't dare shoot me!

Some day you may want to get out of here,

and I'm you're only hope.

Stand back, or the next time I'll--

[ROCKS RUMBLING]

You fool, the vibration of that shot caused a cave-in.

What are we gonna do? I gotta get outta here.

PERRY: We'll never be able to get out of here.

Well, like I always say,

the lust for power leads to its own destruction.

Do somethin'. Somebody do somethin'!

There's nothin' we can do!

Well, perhaps there is something we can do.

I guess it doesn't matter who knows now.

Wait. I smell something.

I know that odor.

It's coal gas.

The same kind that seeps into mines in the 20th century.

Well, at least it'll make it quicker.

Clark, you said maybe there was something to be done.

For heaven's sakes, whatever it is, do it now.

Well, uh, I'm sorry, Lois.

I guess I was just talking to keep our spirits up.

Clark, I feel dizzy.

[EXHALES]

So do I.

I guess this is it.

The entranceway.

It's unblocked.

How? We've been saved!

That's impossible.

TURK: I don't know how you did it, buddy. but thanks, thanks.

[GRUNTING]

I think he's trying to say he didn't do it.

Well, it really doesn't matter.

If he could only talk.

[GRUNTING]

JIMMY: He drew a big S.

That can only mean one thing.

Superman is here.

Superman?

That's right, Turk.

Now, you'll see who's boss around here.

Come on, Clark, let's go find him.

Let's just wait'll he finds us, shall we?

Oh, come on.

All right, Lois. We'll go find him.

I think I'll have a look around, too.

[GRUNTING]

Oh, please! Please!

Whatever you do, don't leave me.

Listen, you guys.

Superman might be around here, but I'm Stoneman, see?

And I can do anything that he can do.

[GRUNTING]

Watch, I'll show you.

[GASPING]

You like that, huh?

[CAVEMEN GRUNTING]

See. Fire. Fire.

Fire.

You think that's somethin'?

Well, look. Watch this.

[FRIGHTENED GRUNTS]

You like that, huh?

TURK: Well, I got a lot more.

I'm tired, Clark. I think I'll rest here a minute.

That's a good idea, Lois.

I'll go ahead and scout around a bit.

You wait right here.

Okay. Don't get lost.

Superman, we've been looking everywhere for you.

Yes, Miss Lane, I know.

You've got to help us, Superman.

You've got to get us back.

The trouble is, I don't know exactly what to do.

Well, there's one thing you can do.

The professor has some important information at home.

If he had it here,

he could figure out the kind of metal he needs.

And you want me to try and go get it?

Please, Superman. You must.

Very well, Miss Lane. I'll try.

[���]

Clark?

Superman, what--?

I'm sorry, Miss Lane.

I can't do it. I can't crack the time barrier.

But you broke through it to get here.

Yes, I know. But that was a one-way trip,

and please don't ask me why, I can't explain.

You were our last hope. Now even that's gone.

I'm afraid you're right.

Although, at least I can keep Turk in line.

Oh, you better join the others in the cave.

Anything you say, Superman.

Think, professor, think!

What do you think I'm doing?

But it's hard to do calculations in your head.

Did you find him? Did you find him?

Is he really here?

I found him.

But for once, even Superman is helpless.

I don't know how many times I've told you this.

You don't seem to understand.

But you see what I can do.

Me Stoneman. Me boss.

[GRUNTS]

You're not boss anymore, Turk.

That's what you think.

But they think differently.

Who's boss?

Me or him?

Boss!

Fire!

I been watching, Superman.

He made fire with his lighter and chipped a rock with his gun.

Oh?

Perhaps we can do him one better.

Jeepers! All you need is your X-ray vision.

[ANXIOUS GRUNTS]

He wants you to chip the rock like Turk did.

So, that's what he wants.

[CAVEMAN GRUNTS]

Boss!

I'll show you who's boss.

[GUNSHOTS]

All right, Superman, you win.

What are you gonna do with me now?

Not a thing, Turk.

We've all gotta learn to live together here somehow.

Let's get back to the others. Come on.

This is really gonna be a home-cooked meal tonight.

Cave-cooked, you mean.

PERRY: Well, Superman, we heard the bad news

that you can't get back.

But thanks for trying to help us.

Well, I'm sorry I couldn't do more than try.

Professor, I'm afraid it's all up to you.

I'm trying. I'm trying, Superman.

And I almost had it.

You see, what I need is a metal

that gives off neutral isotopic rays.

Well, then, let's round up all the metal

we can find around here.

Look, we need metal.

[SIGHS]

Metal.

Metal.

Understand? Me-tal.

[GRUNTS]

Metal.

Metal.

Don't blame me if he brings back a compact.

Compact. That's it.

That's what, professor?

[LAUGHS] That's-- That's it.

That's the answer. That's the metal I need.

You see, atoms must be extraordinarily compact

in order to give off the right rays.

Well, do you know of such a metal?

I do now.

It's called Karborium-X.

Well, then, let's go find some of that.

I'm afraid it won't be quite that easy.

You see, Karborium-X is found only on meteors.

Then by all means, let's find a meteor.

But you can't fly like you used to.

You tried.

Miss Lane,

it's true I can't fly through time.

But I can still fly through space.

I sure hope he's able to find it.

All right, all right. Knock it off.

You're forgetting something.

I'm the only one knows where the time machine is,

and without that, Karborium-X ain't gonna help you.

Yes, but we need it now. That's our way to get back.

Uh-uh. I ain't ready.

All I got waitin' back there for me is a jail cell.

But you were ready to give yourself up

before all this happened.

Sure, but I don't have to now.

Then why don't you let us go back and you stay here?

Nope. I might get lonesome.

We'll make you tell where that machine is.

Turk won't talk unless he wants to.

I got one thing: willpower.

I been worked on by experts.

Wh-where you goin'?

Out to find myself a nice quiet cave. Alone!

[���]

Did you find it? Did you find Karborium-X?

I hope so, professor.

I dug this out of a meteor.

There may be some Karborium-X in it.

This is it. This is Karborium-X.

Yes, this rusty part here is what I'll need.

Well, then let us get to work right away.

Say, by the way, there's been so much going on around here,

I've forgotten about Clark Kent.

Where is he?

Please, let's not worry about Kent.

I can find him anytime, I promise you.

Yes, but first I must have my time machine,

because without it, this is absolutely worthless.

Professor, this isn't easy to say,

but this'll be the second time I failed you.

You see, your time machine can be almost anyplace.

It could take years to find.

Yes, but I must have it now,

before the other radioactive elements in it go dead.

LOIS: Well,

let's face it, we're cave people.

That's the way it's gonna be.

Well, one good thing about it,

we've all got a lot of experience.

Maybe we can get society off on a better foot.

I hope so, Jim.

Meanwhile, I'll go look for Kent.

[GRUNTS]

Well, we got company.

Metal! Metal!

That's not metal, dopey. Those are stones.

[GRUNTS]

Probably nothin' but...

but diamonds. A-a big fat diamond!

[GRUNTS]

Hey, buddy, you don't know what these are worth

back where I come from, but you--

You can buy yourself outta mostly anything, even jail.

[GRUNTS]

Fire! Fire!

Oh. Yeah, sure, here.

You don't know it, fella,

but you just paid a couple of millions dollars for a lighter.

[HAPPY GRUNTS]

Hm. I know.

In about 50,000 years, there's gonna be the cutest hat

in the window of that little shop across from the office.

I don't know how I'm gonna live without it.

Well, thank heavens you've come to your senses!

Why? Why did you do it?

Let's just say I got a streak of decency about me.

The first thing I'm going to do when we get back

is destroy that machine.

The first thing I'm gonna do is ask for a raise.

This newspaper work can be pretty dangerous.

Yes. Now, we are all ready

to attempt the return to the 20th century.

W-wait. Not yet. Clark isn't here.

I'm here.

Well, do you think I pay you a salary

just to roam around the countryside?

Well, I'm sorry, chief.

But a man can get lost out there, you know?

But where's Superman?

Oh, he's all right, Jimmy. Just don't worry about him.

But he can't get through the time barrier.

Lois, I've been in touch with him.

You see, Superman's been in contact with this Karborium-X,

so he won't have any more trouble with the barrier.

Well, then everything's settled.

Darling,

perhaps if we had met at another time in another world,

everything would've been different.

But now, Lana, I'm afraid it's goodbye.

Goodbye.

Well, come on. Let's hurry back, I'm hungry.

Well, here we go.

LOIS: We forgot to change clothes first.

[ALL LAUGH]

Don't worry, I'll buy everybody a new wardrobe.

I'll buy the whole town.

With those?

Diamonds, my boy. A whole handful.

I'm afraid not, Turk.

You see, you've got nothing but common quartz here.

Ask the professor.

Oh, yes. Mr. Kent's absolutely right.

They're worthless.

You're crazy. They're real. It's gotta be.

Okay, Kent, you win again.

I started out to give myself up,

well, let's do it now and get it over with.

I hope Superman got back all right.

Don't worry, Lois. I'm sure he did.

Well, what's the trouble?

Didn't you ever see a caveman before?

[LAUGHS]

NARRATOR: Don't miss the next thrill-packed episode

in the amazing Adventures of Superman!

Superman is based on the original character

appearing in Superman magazine.