All language subtitles for The Neighborhood 5x12 - Welcome to the Bachelor Party (English)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:12,838 Bro! 2 00:00:12,863 --> 00:00:16,214 This steakhouse for my bachelor party tonight? Amazing! 3 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:18,751 We got a bourbon tasting, cigar lounge. 4 00:00:18,776 --> 00:00:21,431 I'm telling y'all, this is the kind of place where 5 00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:24,894 there's a dude in the men's room with mints and cologne. 6 00:00:24,919 --> 00:00:27,409 Okay, well, I better take some small bills, 7 00:00:27,434 --> 00:00:30,698 because I don't want to pay five dollars for a Tic Tac. 8 00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,208 Have fun with your meats and cigars. 9 00:00:34,233 --> 00:00:37,429 Us ladies will be right here having cocktails and massages. 10 00:00:37,974 --> 00:00:41,820 Well, all right, girls, get your ladies' night on. 11 00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:44,648 And enjoy these nights while you can, Necie. 12 00:00:44,673 --> 00:00:47,022 Once you have babies, those nights are far and few. 13 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,484 Oh, yeah, that's true. 14 00:00:49,509 --> 00:00:52,265 Making you boys was fun as hell. 15 00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:57,274 But raising y'all, now, that's been an exhausting ordeal. 16 00:01:00,154 --> 00:01:02,678 What are we supposed to say to that? 17 00:01:02,703 --> 00:01:05,619 Just internalize it. 18 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,982 Marty, you haven't told your parents we decided 19 00:01:10,007 --> 00:01:11,358 not to have kids? 20 00:01:11,383 --> 00:01:13,341 Well, not in so many words. 21 00:01:13,581 --> 00:01:15,304 Or any words. 22 00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,555 Come on, Marty. 23 00:01:18,164 --> 00:01:19,993 Look, Necie is about to spend the entire night 24 00:01:20,025 --> 00:01:21,926 with a woman who's already picked out 25 00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,388 six years' worth of her grandkids' Easter outfits. 26 00:01:24,413 --> 00:01:27,701 I know. You're right. I'll tell them. 27 00:01:27,726 --> 00:01:29,119 Hey, you know what? 28 00:01:29,144 --> 00:01:31,153 Maybe they'll be so excited about tonight, 29 00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,614 it won't even affect them. 30 00:01:32,639 --> 00:01:34,119 Oh, you think so? 31 00:01:34,144 --> 00:01:36,304 Hell nah. Barely believed it as I said it. 32 00:01:39,241 --> 00:01:42,569 - Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com - 33 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:47,803 Well, I'm looking good, I'm feeling good, 34 00:01:47,828 --> 00:01:49,482 and... 35 00:01:49,507 --> 00:01:51,639 and I'm smelling good. 36 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,680 I am so excited for tonight. 37 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,813 Yeah, about that. 38 00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:01,077 Please keep in mind that tonight is supposed to be Marty's night. 39 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,774 Yeah, of course I know that. 40 00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:03,949 Do you? 41 00:02:03,974 --> 00:02:05,187 What are you getting at? 42 00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,897 I'm just saying, you don't 43 00:02:06,922 --> 00:02:09,185 have a great history at bachelor parties. 44 00:02:12,635 --> 00:02:14,637 I don't know what you're talking about. 45 00:02:14,662 --> 00:02:18,125 Dave, Kevin's bachelor party in Canc�n? 46 00:02:18,334 --> 00:02:20,601 Matthew's in New Orleans? 47 00:02:20,626 --> 00:02:24,148 Gary's bachelor party that started in Las Vegas and ended in jail? 48 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:30,672 It was a detention cell at the Bellagio. 49 00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:34,850 I'm just saying, these events bring out the worst in you. 50 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:37,157 That's why your friends gave you the nickname. 51 00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:39,942 Did they? I-I don't even remember. 52 00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:41,378 The Douche. 53 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:47,515 This is supposed to be a nice night, not an episode of Entourage. 54 00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:53,956 I promise you, I left that guy at the Bellagio. 55 00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:56,263 There will be no a-douche. 56 00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:58,830 What's a douche? 57 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,052 - It's nothing. Dave, stop. - It's a feminine hygiene... 58 00:03:04,371 --> 00:03:06,503 - It's used to... - Dave, tap out. Tap out. Tap out. 59 00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,973 Never mind. I'll just go ask the Internet. 60 00:03:16,425 --> 00:03:17,843 Knock, knock. 61 00:03:17,868 --> 00:03:20,262 Hey. Lookin' spiffy, Dad. 62 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,332 Well, that settles that. 63 00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:25,640 Uh... 64 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:28,686 Uh, can I talk to you both for a sec? 65 00:03:28,711 --> 00:03:31,322 Well, can't it wait until we're out of the bathroom? 66 00:03:31,347 --> 00:03:34,885 No, because I might chicken out. 67 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:38,653 So, you know how Necie and I are an unconventional, 68 00:03:38,678 --> 00:03:40,779 modern couple with bold sensibilities 69 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:43,198 that don't conform to outdated norms? 70 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,313 Is one of those outdated norms getting to the point? 71 00:03:49,509 --> 00:03:54,484 So, Necie and I discussed the idea of having kids, and... 72 00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:58,325 we realized that we don't need children 73 00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,370 in our lives to feel complete. 74 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:05,636 It's the decision that we've made, and we hope that you can respect it. 75 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,769 You... So... 76 00:04:13,651 --> 00:04:15,392 Okay. 77 00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:18,551 So, how's that landing on everyone? Mama? 78 00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:21,522 Oh, I didn't know you were finished. 79 00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:24,307 Thanks for letting us know. 80 00:04:25,243 --> 00:04:26,244 That's it? 81 00:04:26,269 --> 00:04:28,619 Oh, I do have one more thing to say. 82 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:31,488 You boys have fun tonight. 83 00:04:32,491 --> 00:04:34,537 We will. 84 00:04:34,562 --> 00:04:37,348 Uh, you too, Mama. 85 00:04:37,373 --> 00:04:39,947 Thanks. Thanks for being so cool about this. 86 00:04:39,972 --> 00:04:41,147 All right, now. Okay. 87 00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:45,502 Babe, are you sure you're good with this? 88 00:04:45,527 --> 00:04:48,219 Would you look at this mirror. It is filthy. 89 00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:50,290 Okay, Tina, that's not what I'm talking abo... 90 00:04:50,315 --> 00:04:53,187 You know, I'm gonna get my rubber gloves and some bleach. 91 00:04:54,321 --> 00:04:55,703 Oh, damn. 92 00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,085 - Ooh, Calvin, listen. - Oh, good, listen. 93 00:05:03,110 --> 00:05:04,590 - Let me tell you... Oh. - I need to, uh... No. 94 00:05:04,615 --> 00:05:06,095 - Oh, sorry. No, you go. - You go. 95 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,412 - No, you go. Okay. - Go, go, go. Go. 96 00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:08,612 Okay, um... 97 00:05:08,637 --> 00:05:10,421 Can you keep an eye on Dave tonight? 98 00:05:10,446 --> 00:05:12,404 He's not gonna try to rap again, is he? 99 00:05:12,429 --> 00:05:14,126 He might. 100 00:05:14,402 --> 00:05:16,752 Bachelor parties are a trigger for him. 101 00:05:16,777 --> 00:05:20,755 When he gets around alcohol and male bonding, he turns into... 102 00:05:21,986 --> 00:05:25,729 There's no nice way to say this: The Douche. 103 00:05:25,754 --> 00:05:29,898 Huh. Okay, well, we got bigger problems because 104 00:05:29,923 --> 00:05:34,906 Marty just told us that he and Necie don't plan to have kids. 105 00:05:35,506 --> 00:05:38,683 Oh, my God. How did you guys take it? 106 00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:41,863 Well, I was disappointed, but I get it. 107 00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:42,994 But Tina? 108 00:05:43,019 --> 00:05:44,890 Did she scream? 109 00:05:44,915 --> 00:05:46,743 Ha! I wish. 110 00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:51,133 Tina's got three stages of crazy before she loses it. 111 00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:56,051 One, she gets really quiet. Two, she obsessively cleans. 112 00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:58,923 And three, she laughs at stuff that's not even funny. 113 00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:03,257 Hey, girl! You ready to get your massage on? 114 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,584 Stage two? 115 00:06:07,947 --> 00:06:10,289 And hopefully we hold there. 116 00:06:10,314 --> 00:06:12,843 At least I know my house is going to be spotless. 117 00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:14,852 Yeah. 118 00:06:14,877 --> 00:06:18,924 We have ants. So many ants. 119 00:06:29,152 --> 00:06:30,588 Whoa, whoa. 120 00:06:30,613 --> 00:06:32,441 Wh-What happened to the limo I ordered? 121 00:06:32,466 --> 00:06:34,816 The limo didn't have no stripper pole. 122 00:06:34,841 --> 00:06:37,453 That was the point, Trey. 123 00:06:37,478 --> 00:06:41,792 Oh, check it out. It's about to be insane! 124 00:06:42,785 --> 00:06:44,569 You're welcome. 125 00:06:44,594 --> 00:06:47,648 Trey, this bus better be taking us to that classy steakhouse. 126 00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:49,762 - It is. - Where we are going to have 127 00:06:49,787 --> 00:06:50,914 a classy bourbon tasting. 128 00:06:50,939 --> 00:06:53,518 - Yes. - And no strippers. 129 00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:55,980 Well, now I got to make a call. 130 00:06:56,005 --> 00:06:58,442 Oh. Come on, man. 131 00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:01,856 I'll tell you, if these seats are sticky, I'm taking an Uber. 132 00:07:03,376 --> 00:07:04,834 Dave, are you okay? 133 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,730 Yeah, I'm fine. Fine. 134 00:07:06,755 --> 00:07:09,148 What are you doing, man? It's just a bus. 135 00:07:09,173 --> 00:07:10,804 A party bus. 136 00:07:13,136 --> 00:07:14,311 Oh, boy. 137 00:07:18,073 --> 00:07:20,380 - Hey, Necie, what's up? - Miss Tina. 138 00:07:20,487 --> 00:07:22,098 This is my friend Bree. 139 00:07:22,123 --> 00:07:23,559 Hi. So nice to meet you. 140 00:07:23,584 --> 00:07:25,546 Oh, nice to meet you. Make yourself at home. 141 00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:26,609 So, Necie... 142 00:07:26,634 --> 00:07:29,140 - Huh? What? - Oh, Tina, this is so interesting. 143 00:07:29,165 --> 00:07:31,418 Did you know Bree has some big, big news? 144 00:07:31,443 --> 00:07:33,880 She's about to be on Broadway and In the Heights. 145 00:07:34,011 --> 00:07:37,231 - Oh, is that right? - Uh-huh. 146 00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:39,542 Anyways, Necie, I have a question for you. 147 00:07:40,557 --> 00:07:42,037 Have you ever seen a pair of boots 148 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,666 in the store and said, "I don't want those boots," 149 00:07:44,691 --> 00:07:47,390 but later you think, "I wish I'd bought them"? 150 00:07:47,415 --> 00:07:49,802 So you go back to the store, but it's too late, 151 00:07:49,827 --> 00:07:52,471 the boots are gone, and now all your friends have boots, 152 00:07:52,496 --> 00:07:54,759 but you're too old to have boots? You know? 153 00:07:56,573 --> 00:07:58,227 I'm sorry, what is the question? 154 00:07:58,252 --> 00:07:59,775 Well, I was trying to ask... 155 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,448 Okay, ready for the first two massages. 156 00:08:01,473 --> 00:08:03,867 Oh, thank God. Bree, Necie, you guys go first. 157 00:08:03,997 --> 00:08:07,087 - Oh, I don't have to go... - No, go, go, go, go. 158 00:08:10,052 --> 00:08:12,415 You know what? This bus isn't so bad. 159 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,529 Man, you know what? It is kind of fun. 160 00:08:14,554 --> 00:08:15,679 Yeah, man. 161 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:16,836 Whoa! Okay, then. 162 00:08:16,967 --> 00:08:19,795 Uh, why is this pole warm? 163 00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:22,488 Wait a minute. Was it just used? 164 00:08:22,513 --> 00:08:23,731 No, man. 165 00:08:23,756 --> 00:08:25,932 The heater pole is a feature. 166 00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:29,022 I'm gonna need hand sanitizer. 167 00:08:29,153 --> 00:08:32,547 I got you. 168 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:34,593 What? 169 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:37,117 This thing is full of Jell-O shots! 170 00:08:37,248 --> 00:08:38,597 Oh, boy. 171 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,773 Well, all right! 172 00:08:41,992 --> 00:08:43,732 What are you doing, Trey? 173 00:08:43,863 --> 00:08:47,345 Jell-O shots? Are we pledging a sorority? 174 00:08:49,042 --> 00:08:51,827 I guess one won't hurt. Yeah, to Marty. 175 00:08:51,852 --> 00:08:53,071 To Marty. 176 00:08:53,096 --> 00:08:54,271 All right. 177 00:08:55,570 --> 00:08:58,573 I think someone put alcohol liquor in these. 178 00:09:00,445 --> 00:09:03,143 You know, things went so well with Mom and Dad, 179 00:09:03,274 --> 00:09:05,754 I'm actually in a Jell-O shots mood. 180 00:09:05,885 --> 00:09:08,844 Hey, Dave? Dave, I thought we agreed to one shot. 181 00:09:08,975 --> 00:09:11,935 Yes, one green shot. These are purple. 182 00:09:12,065 --> 00:09:15,155 This must be Jell-O, because jam don't shake like that! 183 00:09:15,286 --> 00:09:16,461 - Let's go, boys! - Hey... 184 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,859 Marty, I didn't think this night could get any better. 185 00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:27,254 But there's a Snorlax in this room. 186 00:09:28,995 --> 00:09:32,513 Okay, okay, use your lucky Pok� Ball to catch them, 187 00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:35,023 but don't let my brother see what you're doing. 188 00:09:35,048 --> 00:09:36,499 - Hey, what's up? - Whoa! Uh... 189 00:09:36,524 --> 00:09:38,439 Looking at sports! 190 00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:40,746 - Sports. - Sports. 191 00:09:40,876 --> 00:09:43,227 Okay. Yeah. 192 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,980 Ah, what a night. 193 00:09:47,361 --> 00:09:49,320 Out on the town with my boys, 194 00:09:49,345 --> 00:09:52,827 enjoying steaks, whiskey and cigars. 195 00:09:52,852 --> 00:09:55,593 Manly men manning it up. 196 00:09:58,938 --> 00:10:01,375 Daddy! Help me, it's in my lungs! 197 00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:04,182 Boy, it's not even lit. 198 00:10:05,075 --> 00:10:06,815 But it's about to be! 199 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:15,385 Marty, your friend is so cool. 200 00:10:17,522 --> 00:10:20,264 Gentlemen, who here has done a bourbon tasting before? 201 00:10:20,394 --> 00:10:24,224 Oh, uh, Montez and I are familiar. 202 00:10:24,378 --> 00:10:26,858 M-Montez, where are you at? Hey, Montez. 203 00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:30,752 Dave, Dave, would you calm down, man? 204 00:10:30,883 --> 00:10:32,841 Hmm. Uh-oh. 205 00:10:32,972 --> 00:10:34,582 Dad's mad. 206 00:10:35,914 --> 00:10:39,875 Now, the reason we use snifters is: it concentrates the nose. 207 00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:41,850 And if you give it a little swirl... 208 00:10:41,981 --> 00:10:43,243 Mmm! 209 00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:49,293 My tummy is a-toasty. 210 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:53,117 Maybe I should just go ahead and take your dinner orders. 211 00:10:53,142 --> 00:10:54,621 - Yeah, yeah. - Ooh, I got you. 212 00:10:54,646 --> 00:10:58,476 Simone, tomahawk steaks all around. Rare. 213 00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:00,591 Still mooin'. Derek, can I get a moo? 214 00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:01,715 Moo! 215 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,176 Yeah, Derek! 216 00:11:03,201 --> 00:11:06,265 Uh, no, no, no. No mooing. 217 00:11:06,397 --> 00:11:09,008 Simone, I don't want my steak rare. I want it well-done. 218 00:11:09,139 --> 00:11:11,097 All right? No mooing at all. 219 00:11:11,122 --> 00:11:12,499 Dead. 220 00:11:12,524 --> 00:11:15,527 Only thing red I want to see on my plate is ketchup. 221 00:11:17,712 --> 00:11:21,281 Dudes, what are we doing? 222 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,482 Marty is about to get married, and we're just sitting here 223 00:11:23,507 --> 00:11:25,913 like a bunch of babies at a baby shower. 224 00:11:27,157 --> 00:11:28,375 What? 225 00:11:34,114 --> 00:11:35,986 What is going on? 226 00:11:36,011 --> 00:11:37,925 Trey, is there a club in the back? 227 00:11:37,950 --> 00:11:39,560 Oh, my God. 228 00:11:39,585 --> 00:11:41,796 I'm just as shocked as you are. 229 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:47,002 The bachelor party gods have spoken. 230 00:11:47,133 --> 00:11:50,397 And they have said, "Let it be lit." 231 00:11:51,302 --> 00:11:53,483 - No, no, Dave, Dave... - Dave, Dave, Dave... 232 00:11:53,531 --> 00:11:54,793 And so it was! 233 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,703 Trey, don't. No, no. 234 00:11:57,728 --> 00:12:00,277 Okay. Listen, guys, I got to go in there and get them. 235 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,951 I promised Gemma that I wouldn't let Dave 236 00:12:01,976 --> 00:12:04,501 go off the deep end. I got to go get him. 237 00:12:08,203 --> 00:12:11,076 Yo, it's been a minute since Dad was in a club. 238 00:12:11,418 --> 00:12:13,855 Well, don't worry about Pops. He can handle himself. 239 00:12:15,254 --> 00:12:17,082 Uh-uh, no, no, no. 240 00:12:17,107 --> 00:12:19,757 He's on his own. The Douche is loose. 241 00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:25,389 So, Bree seems nice. 242 00:12:25,414 --> 00:12:26,937 Who? 243 00:12:27,173 --> 00:12:29,175 Necie's friend. 244 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,289 Oh, yeah, yeah. Great, great. 245 00:12:31,314 --> 00:12:35,243 Oh, you know, I bet if we went to New York, 246 00:12:35,268 --> 00:12:37,183 she could get us house seats to In the Heights. 247 00:12:37,314 --> 00:12:39,751 Oh, that'd be so fun, right? 248 00:12:39,881 --> 00:12:42,145 I haven't been to New York since high school. 249 00:12:42,275 --> 00:12:43,494 Mmm. 250 00:12:43,624 --> 00:12:45,670 Not to brag, but I was in Model UN. 251 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,586 I represented the country of Cameroon. 252 00:12:51,893 --> 00:12:53,678 Tina? 253 00:12:55,381 --> 00:12:56,991 Oh, crap. 254 00:12:58,204 --> 00:13:01,076 Isn't this great, Bree? 255 00:13:01,207 --> 00:13:03,818 I can't remember the last time I had a massage. 256 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,386 Oh, yeah. 257 00:13:07,864 --> 00:13:10,911 You know, you should treat yourself more often. 258 00:13:10,936 --> 00:13:12,415 Miss Tina? 259 00:13:12,871 --> 00:13:16,918 I'm so glad we're going to have a chance to chat. 260 00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:27,948 You know what? I'd like to propose a toast. 261 00:13:32,777 --> 00:13:36,216 Dudes, you have got to come in there. 262 00:13:37,678 --> 00:13:39,985 Dave, where'd you get the tiara? 263 00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:42,117 Hmm? Oh, it's a crown. 264 00:13:42,248 --> 00:13:44,381 I'm royalty in there. 265 00:13:46,121 --> 00:13:47,427 Derek, come on. 266 00:13:47,558 --> 00:13:49,124 Okay, but don't lose me. 267 00:13:50,387 --> 00:13:52,215 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, guys, guys, guys, come on. 268 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,981 Come on. Look, sit down. Okay? 269 00:13:54,006 --> 00:13:57,487 Wait, look. My pops is trying to give a speech. Come on, Dave. 270 00:13:57,512 --> 00:14:00,845 You're right. Sorry. Uh, Derek, sit down. 271 00:14:00,870 --> 00:14:04,438 Show a little respect. Calvin, the floor is yours. 272 00:14:04,846 --> 00:14:06,630 Thank you, Dave. 273 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:11,234 Uh, I'd like to propose a toast to my son Marty. 274 00:14:11,259 --> 00:14:12,402 Hey. 275 00:14:12,427 --> 00:14:14,972 I mean, it seems like only yesterday I was holding you 276 00:14:14,997 --> 00:14:16,955 in my arms for the very first time. 277 00:14:17,327 --> 00:14:19,807 Next thing you know, you were a little kid 278 00:14:19,938 --> 00:14:21,809 on my shoulders at the zoo, 279 00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:25,160 just going on and on with your penguin facts 280 00:14:25,291 --> 00:14:27,728 while your snow cone dripped on my head. 281 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,689 But I just let it drip because I never 282 00:14:31,826 --> 00:14:34,046 wanted you to stop telling me things. 283 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,478 The amount of joy that you and Malcolm have given me, 284 00:14:38,609 --> 00:14:40,524 it's just been amazing. 285 00:14:40,549 --> 00:14:43,204 The Christmas mornings, the school projects, 286 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,224 even the broken arms. 287 00:14:47,966 --> 00:14:50,446 I wouldn't change one minute of it for anything. 288 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,580 Now you're getting married. 289 00:14:55,539 --> 00:14:58,894 That means I got to let you go. So... 290 00:14:59,908 --> 00:15:01,561 To my baby boy Marty. 291 00:15:01,746 --> 00:15:03,957 I love you, son. I love you, man. 292 00:15:03,982 --> 00:15:06,245 Ah... 293 00:15:07,735 --> 00:15:10,191 I want babies! 294 00:15:13,438 --> 00:15:16,191 I want snow cone juice to drip on my head. 295 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,785 I want babies so bad. 296 00:15:22,195 --> 00:15:24,110 Mmm. 297 00:15:24,405 --> 00:15:25,972 What's that scent? 298 00:15:26,439 --> 00:15:28,180 Huh, I think it's lavender. 299 00:15:28,311 --> 00:15:31,488 Ooh, I think you're right. 300 00:15:32,159 --> 00:15:35,772 While we're on the subject... 301 00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:37,910 Why do you hate kids? 302 00:15:38,787 --> 00:15:40,572 What? I love kids. 303 00:15:40,686 --> 00:15:42,775 I'm godmother to both of Bree's kids. 304 00:15:42,906 --> 00:15:44,821 Who the hell is Bree? 305 00:15:45,328 --> 00:15:48,026 The woman you kicked off the massage table. 306 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,636 Oh. 307 00:15:49,661 --> 00:15:52,272 Yeah, yeah, yeah, th-the one from Hamilton. 308 00:15:54,685 --> 00:15:58,732 I mean, what is it? Is it about your career? 309 00:15:58,863 --> 00:16:00,430 Traveling? 310 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,954 Do you have a bad relationship with your mother? 311 00:16:04,352 --> 00:16:06,062 I love my mother. 312 00:16:06,087 --> 00:16:09,395 I think we'll take a five. 313 00:16:11,343 --> 00:16:13,780 Is it your body? Because... 314 00:16:14,357 --> 00:16:16,141 I can carry the baby. 315 00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:20,194 My doctor says I have the uterus of a 24-year-old. 316 00:16:24,802 --> 00:16:26,804 Miss Tina... 317 00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:29,981 there are so many things I want to do with my life. 318 00:16:30,111 --> 00:16:33,376 Being a mother just doesn't happen to be one of them. 319 00:16:35,566 --> 00:16:38,482 I just don't get it. 320 00:16:38,903 --> 00:16:42,123 How could you not want to be a mother? 321 00:16:42,148 --> 00:16:45,238 It's just who I am. 322 00:16:45,263 --> 00:16:47,700 How could you not want to be a boxer? 323 00:16:48,919 --> 00:16:51,151 Come on now, that's totally different. 324 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,439 Mm, they both hurt. 325 00:16:54,702 --> 00:16:57,270 Tell me about it. 326 00:16:57,878 --> 00:17:02,418 But children, they-they bring so much laughter and-and joy. 327 00:17:02,443 --> 00:17:05,838 Marty brings me so much laughter and joy. 328 00:17:06,409 --> 00:17:08,672 Yeah, okay, but Marty is... 329 00:17:08,697 --> 00:17:10,046 We love each other, 330 00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:13,553 and we're happy with the choice we've made, 331 00:17:13,578 --> 00:17:15,928 even if it's not the choice you would've made. 332 00:17:19,083 --> 00:17:20,084 You're right. 333 00:17:21,842 --> 00:17:24,453 I've been putting my dreams on you, 334 00:17:24,522 --> 00:17:25,784 and that's not fair. 335 00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:32,001 I guess I was just a little surprised when Marty told us. 336 00:17:32,132 --> 00:17:34,525 He always talked about being a dad. 337 00:17:34,656 --> 00:17:36,049 Really? 338 00:17:36,179 --> 00:17:38,486 Look around. Look at all these toys. 339 00:17:38,616 --> 00:17:41,010 I've been trying to throw these toys out for years, 340 00:17:41,141 --> 00:17:42,577 but Marty would never let me. 341 00:17:42,707 --> 00:17:45,275 He says, "Mom, they're classics." 342 00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:50,628 He wanted to save them for his kids. 343 00:17:51,847 --> 00:17:56,025 I guess, um, this news caught me a little off guard. 344 00:17:57,809 --> 00:17:59,898 Marty never told me that. 345 00:18:00,029 --> 00:18:02,858 You know, I owe you an apology. 346 00:18:04,555 --> 00:18:06,296 I don't know if you noticed, but, uh, 347 00:18:06,427 --> 00:18:08,385 I've been a little crazy this evening. 348 00:18:11,997 --> 00:18:13,608 Will you forgive me? 349 00:18:16,654 --> 00:18:18,439 - No, Tina, stop. - What? 350 00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:21,946 Oh, you're hugging. Phew. As you were. 351 00:18:28,753 --> 00:18:31,060 Hey, uh, Marty. 352 00:18:31,191 --> 00:18:32,801 The things I said in my toast... 353 00:18:32,826 --> 00:18:34,212 Listen, I wasn't trying to... 354 00:18:34,237 --> 00:18:36,457 No, it's-it's okay, Dad. 355 00:18:36,497 --> 00:18:37,510 Okay. 356 00:18:37,535 --> 00:18:39,304 That was my favorite thing you've ever said to me. 357 00:18:39,329 --> 00:18:41,331 Even though it was Malcolm at the zoo. 358 00:18:42,442 --> 00:18:44,574 - Really? - Yup. 359 00:18:44,599 --> 00:18:46,035 Marty hated penguins. 360 00:18:46,554 --> 00:18:48,425 Scared the hell out of me. 361 00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:51,428 They still do. But... 362 00:18:51,559 --> 00:18:54,344 you're still the best dad a guy could ask for. 363 00:18:54,475 --> 00:18:56,129 And hearing how much being a father 364 00:18:56,259 --> 00:18:59,001 meant to you, I want that. 365 00:18:59,132 --> 00:19:01,046 Are you sure? 366 00:19:01,071 --> 00:19:04,876 Because I feel like I should've just kept my big mouth closed. 367 00:19:05,007 --> 00:19:07,488 No, I'm sure. 368 00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:09,352 You know, I told myself I didn't want kids, 369 00:19:09,377 --> 00:19:12,424 but I was lying to myself 370 00:19:12,449 --> 00:19:13,929 and to Necie. 371 00:19:15,123 --> 00:19:17,755 So... who cried at Six Flags? 372 00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:19,260 That was you, right? 373 00:19:19,285 --> 00:19:21,635 - Yup, yup, that was me. - Yeah. 374 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,358 - Yeah, that was definitely Marty. - Okay. 375 00:19:23,383 --> 00:19:25,291 Remember he was scared on the roller coaster? 376 00:19:25,316 --> 00:19:27,536 No, you pretended the safety bar wouldn't latch. 377 00:19:29,153 --> 00:19:30,893 - And he cried, he was crying. - He was crying. 378 00:19:30,918 --> 00:19:32,963 "Daddy, get me out of here." 379 00:19:32,988 --> 00:19:35,425 Oh, the guys are here. 380 00:19:35,907 --> 00:19:39,041 Derek, me, you, Frisbee golf, 381 00:19:39,066 --> 00:19:42,876 next weekend. Montez, blow up my DMs, please. 382 00:19:47,058 --> 00:19:48,973 I see you met The Douche. 383 00:19:48,998 --> 00:19:50,201 Yup. 384 00:19:50,226 --> 00:19:52,359 - Not a fan. - Uh-uh. 385 00:19:53,838 --> 00:19:56,319 Ooh. Okay, babe, 386 00:19:56,344 --> 00:19:59,757 you are not gonna believe this, but Necie and I just talked, and... 387 00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:02,611 I'm actually okay with them not wanting babies. 388 00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:04,563 Well, I got news for you. 389 00:20:04,588 --> 00:20:06,895 Marty actually does want babies. 390 00:20:07,025 --> 00:20:08,636 He does? 391 00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:10,768 Hmm. 392 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:14,536 Uh-oh. 393 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:15,998 Necie, hey. 394 00:20:16,023 --> 00:20:17,198 Hey. 395 00:20:17,356 --> 00:20:18,618 You guys have fun? 396 00:20:18,643 --> 00:20:21,101 Yeah, yeah. You? 397 00:20:21,126 --> 00:20:23,477 Yeah, yeah. 398 00:20:23,607 --> 00:20:26,654 Look, I think we should talk. 399 00:20:26,784 --> 00:20:29,439 Yeah, I was just about to say the same thing. 400 00:20:30,571 --> 00:20:32,181 Whoa, whoa, whoa, dudes. 401 00:20:32,206 --> 00:20:34,425 Oh, God, here he comes. Go in the house. Go, go, go, go. 402 00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:37,361 Dudes, dudes. Where are we going? 403 00:20:37,386 --> 00:20:39,468 I thought we were gonna go out and slam some waffles. 404 00:20:39,493 --> 00:20:41,495 Dave, come on, let's go home. 405 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,219 Let's go home, buddy. Come on. 406 00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:47,923 Hey, Derek, check this out. This is who I'm married to. 407 00:20:47,948 --> 00:20:50,124 - Smokeshow. - Okay. 408 00:20:51,604 --> 00:20:55,604 - Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com - 29462

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