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1
00:00:00,671 --> 00:00:02,133
PREVIOUSLY ON...
2
00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:05,206
DOES THIS RELATIONSHIP
HAVE A FUTURE?
CAN'T WE JUST KEEP
3
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,778
GOING THE WAY WE ARE?
JACKSON LEFT.
4
00:00:07,778 --> 00:00:11,082
ORSON'S LYING TO ME AGAIN.
BREE MADE A DECISION.
5
00:00:11,082 --> 00:00:13,044
SO I THINK I HAVE
TO DIVORCE HIM.
KARL SIGNED UP.
6
00:00:13,044 --> 00:00:15,516
KARL, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
7
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,388
WELL, I JUST ENROLLED EVAN.
8
00:00:17,388 --> 00:00:19,190
WOW.
9
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:22,093
AND SUSAN CONFESSED.
MIKE AND I GOT
IN A CAR ACCIDENT.
10
00:00:22,093 --> 00:00:24,325
MIKE WAS DRIVING, RIGHT?
THAT'S WHAT WE SAID,
11
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:27,298
BUT IT WASN'T TRUE.
HE TOOK THE BLAME FOR ME.
12
00:00:32,803 --> 00:00:34,805
(Mary Alice) ON THIS STREET,
13
00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:38,069
THE BARGAINING BEGINS
AT SUNRISE...
14
00:00:38,069 --> 00:00:42,273
AN OLD WOMAN OFFERS A PAPERBOY
A GENEROUS TIP
15
00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:45,546
IF HE'LL THROW THE PAPER
ONTO HER PORCH...
16
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:50,281
A WIFE TELLS HER HUSBAND
SHE'LL MAKE HIS FAVORITE DINNER
17
00:00:50,281 --> 00:00:53,584
IF HE'LL BRING HOME ROSES...
18
00:00:53,584 --> 00:00:57,428
A MAN TELLS HIS NEIGHBOR
HE'LL TAKE IN HIS GARBAGE CANS
19
00:00:57,428 --> 00:01:00,661
THE DAY
SHE FINALLY MOWS HER LAWN.
20
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:04,135
YES, ON WISTERIA LANE,
21
00:01:04,135 --> 00:01:06,767
EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO BARGAIN--
22
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,200
ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE.
23
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,443
I DON'T WANT OATMEAL.
CAN I HAVE PANCAKES?
24
00:01:12,443 --> 00:01:15,206
KATHERINE'S NOT
A SHORT ORDER COOK, BUDDY.
25
00:01:15,206 --> 00:01:18,149
IF SHE MADE OATMEAL FOR
BREAKFAST, WE'RE HAVING OATMEAL.
26
00:01:18,149 --> 00:01:21,312
I TELL YOU WHAT, M.J.
IF YOU FINISH JUST HALF OF IT,
27
00:01:21,312 --> 00:01:23,854
I WILL MAKE CANDIED APPLES
FOR YOUR SLEEPOVER.
28
00:01:23,854 --> 00:01:28,189
I LOVE CANDY APPLES.
SHE'S LETTING YOU OFF EASY.
YOU SHOULD THANK HER.
29
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,860
THANK YOU, KATHERINE.
30
00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:33,124
YOU ARE SO WELCOME,
YOU SWEET THING.
31
00:01:33,124 --> 00:01:36,297
DAD, ARE YOU GONNA MARRY
KATHERINE?
32
00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:41,672
(mouth full) UM...
(chuckles)
33
00:01:41,672 --> 00:01:44,235
THAT'S, UM...
34
00:01:44,235 --> 00:01:45,636
I DON'T KNOW.
35
00:01:45,636 --> 00:01:47,308
WHY NOT?
36
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:52,112
OH, WELL, OH, BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T
TALKED ABOUT MARRIAGE.
37
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,814
WHY NOT?
38
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,647
M.J., YOU'RE BEING RUDE.
39
00:01:56,647 --> 00:01:59,650
OH, I'M NOT OFFENDED.
40
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,454
DON'T YOU WANNA MARRY
KATHERINE?
41
00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:05,326
(laughs) WELL...
42
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,627
I LOVE HER.
43
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,330
SHE'S ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.
44
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,862
SO WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HER?
45
00:02:11,862 --> 00:02:14,205
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?
46
00:02:14,205 --> 00:02:16,307
ARE YOU KIDDING?
47
00:02:17,568 --> 00:02:20,471
BUDDY, UM,
WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE,
48
00:02:20,471 --> 00:02:22,343
THE TRUTH IS...
49
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:25,346
WOW. WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THE TIME? I'M LATE FOR WORK.
50
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:28,449
(keys jangle)
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TALK
ABOUT THIS LATER.
51
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,580
COWARD.
52
00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:32,823
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
53
00:02:32,823 --> 00:02:35,586
HOW'D I DO?
54
00:02:35,586 --> 00:02:37,358
YOU WERE GREAT.
55
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,290
BUT HE DIDN'T ANSWER ME.
56
00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:42,333
DOESN'T MATTER.
ISSUE'S ON THE TABLE.
57
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:44,365
YES, ON THIS STREET,
58
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:47,468
THE NEGOTIATING BEGINS
AT SUNRISE,
59
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,470
AND IT DOESN'T END...
60
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,472
HERE'S THE ICE CREAM
I PROMISED YOU.
61
00:02:51,472 --> 00:03:06,457
UNTIL SOMEONE GETS
EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT.
62
00:03:06,457 --> 00:03:09,320
WALTER BERGEN WAS
A DIVORCE LAWYER,
63
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,493
AND THE WOMEN WHO HIRED HIM
ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING TO SAY
64
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:15,696
ABOUT THE MEN
THEY WERE DIVORCING.
65
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,728
HE'S ALWAYS TALKING
TO HIS GRANDMOTHER,
66
00:03:17,728 --> 00:03:20,731
WHO DIED SIX YEARS AGO.
67
00:03:20,731 --> 00:03:22,733
HE SPENDS ALL HIS MONEY
ON HOOKERS,
68
00:03:22,733 --> 00:03:25,506
WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE WOMEN.
69
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,938
HE SAYS HE NEEDS MORE MONEY
FOR THE CHILDREN,
70
00:03:27,938 --> 00:03:29,440
AND BY "CHILDREN,"
71
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,483
I MEAN RACEHORSES.
72
00:03:32,483 --> 00:03:35,946
YES, WALTER BERGEN THOUGHT
HE HAD HEARD IT ALL
73
00:03:35,946 --> 00:03:40,751
UNTIL THE DAY WHEN ONE
OF HIS CLIENTS ACTUALLY SAID...
74
00:03:40,751 --> 00:03:44,325
MY HUSBAND IS A DECENT MAN,
AND I WANT TO DO RIGHT BY HIM.
75
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,456
HMM.
76
00:03:45,456 --> 00:03:48,859
WOMEN WHO SEEK MY SERVICES
RARELY TAKE THAT ATTITUDE.
77
00:03:48,859 --> 00:03:51,662
WELL, I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF
AS A GOOD PERSON.
78
00:03:51,662 --> 00:03:53,464
I'M SURE YOU ARE.
79
00:03:53,464 --> 00:03:55,506
AND I WOULDN'T WORRY
ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND.
80
00:03:55,506 --> 00:03:56,807
THE INCOME HE'LL DERIVE
81
00:03:56,807 --> 00:03:59,510
FROM HIS HALF OF THE CATERING
BUSINESS ALONE SHOULD--
82
00:03:59,510 --> 00:04:01,572
WAIT. I'M NOT PLANNING
ON GIVING HIM HALF.
83
00:04:01,572 --> 00:04:03,474
IT'S MY BUSINESS.
84
00:04:03,474 --> 00:04:06,577
WHICH YOU STARTED
AFTER YOU WERE MARRIED.
85
00:04:06,577 --> 00:04:09,249
THAT ENTITLES HIM TO HALF.
86
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,482
I-I MAY HAVE
OVERSTATED THINGS
87
00:04:11,482 --> 00:04:13,684
WHEN I DESCRIBED MY HUSBAND
AS A DECENT MAN.
88
00:04:13,684 --> 00:04:17,257
HE ACTUALLY HAS A WIDE VARIETY
OF PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS.
89
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,361
MRS. HODGE, IT'S STATE LAW.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?
90
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,363
I WANT YOU TO SAY
THAT FOR $300 AN HOUR,
91
00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,495
YOU HAVE SOME LAWYER TRICKS
UP YOUR SLEEVE
92
00:04:24,495 --> 00:04:26,497
TO HELP ME
PROTECT MY BUSINESS.
93
00:04:26,497 --> 00:04:29,770
SURELY YOU'RE NOT ASKING ME
TO DO SOMETHING CRIMINAL?
94
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,805
MRS. HODGE, DIDN'T YOU SAY
95
00:04:34,805 --> 00:04:38,809
YOU LIKE TO THINK OF YOURSELF
AS A GOOD PERSON?
96
00:04:38,809 --> 00:04:41,352
WELL, CLEARLY, I LIKE
TO THINK OF MYSELF
97
00:04:41,352 --> 00:04:44,585
AS A RICH PERSON EVEN MORE.
98
00:04:46,957 --> 00:04:49,990
OH! FULL HOUSE.
99
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,693
BREE TAKES THE HIGH. GABY GETS
THE LOW. SPLIT THE POT.
100
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,595
OH, I HATE SPLITTING THE POT.
101
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:57,698
WELL, THAT'S THE RULE. THERE'S
NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
102
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,930
SO STOP BITCHING.
WELL, YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME
LIKE THAT.
103
00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:03,404
I AM THE WIFE OF FAIRVIEW'S
LATINO BUSINESSMAN OF THE YEAR.
104
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,706
HEY!
SO HE FINALLY WON?
105
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:08,409
(laughs) YEAH.
THERE'S GONNA BE A HUGE DINNER,
106
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:11,482
AND WE'RE TAKING A PICTURE
WITH THE MAYOR AND HIS WIFE.
107
00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:13,914
OH, NOT NECESSARILY. I HEAR
THEY'RE GETTING DIVORCED,
108
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,787
AND IT'S GONNA GET UGLY.
(Katherine)
REALLY? HOW DO YOU KNOW?
109
00:05:16,787 --> 00:05:18,789
THE WIFE HIRED
110
00:05:18,789 --> 00:05:21,922
THE SLEAZIEST, MOST UNETHICAL
DIVORCE LAWYER IN TOWN.
111
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,625
OH. WHO--WHO'S THAT?
112
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,597
MY EX-HUSBAND.
113
00:05:26,597 --> 00:05:28,599
OH, RIGHT.
KARL'S A DIVORCE LAWYER.
114
00:05:28,599 --> 00:05:30,461
YEAH, AND A TOTAL SHARK.
115
00:05:30,461 --> 00:05:32,463
THE WORST THING ABOUT
OUR DIVORCE
116
00:05:32,463 --> 00:05:34,605
WAS THAT I COULDN'T HIRE HIM
TO REPRESENT ME.
117
00:05:34,605 --> 00:05:37,668
BUT I THOUGHT YOU JUST SPLIT
EVERYTHING DONE THE MIDDLE.
OH, NOT WITH KARL.
118
00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:40,641
BY THE TIME HE'S DONE FINDING
LOOPHOLES AND HIDING ASSETS,
119
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:43,374
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SPLIT.
120
00:05:43,374 --> 00:05:44,675
YOU DON'T SAY.
121
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,377
HEY, LADIES.
122
00:05:46,377 --> 00:05:47,778
UH, LYNETTE, AHEM.
123
00:05:47,778 --> 00:05:51,021
IT'S GETTING KINDA LATE.
124
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:54,024
ARE YOU KICKING US OUT, TOM?
UH, NO.
NO, JUST REMINDING LYNETTE
125
00:05:54,024 --> 00:05:56,787
THAT IT'S, UH,
TEN MINUTES TILL MIDNIGHT,
126
00:05:56,787 --> 00:05:59,490
WHICH MEANS TEN MINUTES
TILL TOMORROW.
127
00:05:59,490 --> 00:06:01,892
I GOT IT. I'LL BE RIGHT UP.
128
00:06:04,935 --> 00:06:06,767
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
129
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,769
TOM AND I ARE READING
THIS BOOK THAT SUGGESTS
130
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:12,643
COUPLES MAKE A PACT TO HAVE SEX
EVERY NIGHT FOR A MONTH.
131
00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:16,106
LET ME GUESS.
WRITTEN BY A GUY?
WAS HIS NAME CARLOS SOLIS?
132
00:06:16,106 --> 00:06:19,450
(chuckles) WE'VE BEEN
HAVING SOME PROBLEMS,
133
00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:22,813
SO THE THEORY IS IT CREATES
INTIMACY AND BRINGS YOU CLOSER.
134
00:06:22,813 --> 00:06:24,815
IS IT WORKING?
135
00:06:24,815 --> 00:06:26,757
I'VE GOTTA SAY IT IS.
136
00:06:26,757 --> 00:06:28,759
YOU BECOME MORE ATTUNED
TO EACH OTHER'S NEEDS
137
00:06:28,759 --> 00:06:30,821
AND MORE SENSITIVE TO--
(Tom) LYNETTE!
138
00:06:30,821 --> 00:06:33,494
JEEZ! TWO SECONDS!
139
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,867
WE--WE SHOULD GO.
NO, WE'RE IN OUR THIRD WEEK.
WE GOT THIS DOWN TO A SCIENCE.
140
00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:40,170
JUST DEAL ME OUT A FEW HANDS.
141
00:06:58,589 --> 00:07:01,652
(Gabrielle) JUANITA, HURRY UP.
THE BUS WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
142
00:07:01,652 --> 00:07:03,794
BE RIGHT DOWN!
143
00:07:06,997 --> 00:07:10,000
THERE'S AN EXTRA PIECE
OF CINNAMON TOAST ON THE TABLE.
144
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,502
NOT HUNGRY. BYE!
145
00:07:11,502 --> 00:07:12,833
(door opens)
146
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,135
(door closes)
147
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,538
(engine idling)
148
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:18,969
(air hisses)
149
00:07:18,969 --> 00:07:22,042
(door creaks)
150
00:07:25,215 --> 00:07:28,979
SUSAN? IT'S DAVE.
151
00:07:28,979 --> 00:07:31,482
HEY, REMEMBER I WAS
TELLING YOU ABOUT MY BUDDY
152
00:07:31,482 --> 00:07:34,485
THAT OWNS THAT BOAT
ON BASS LAKE?
153
00:07:34,485 --> 00:07:36,787
YEAH, WELL, HE'S NOT USING IT
THIS WEEKEND,
154
00:07:36,787 --> 00:07:39,790
SO I THOUGHT MAYBE I'D TAKE
YOU AND M.J. FISHING.
155
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,792
YEAH,
I KNOW IT'S SHORT NOTICE,
156
00:07:41,792 --> 00:07:44,094
BUT I REALLY WANTED TO DO
SOMETHING TO THANK YOU.
157
00:07:44,094 --> 00:07:46,096
YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD TO ME
SINCE EDIE DIED.
158
00:07:46,096 --> 00:07:50,601
PLUS I KNOW
M.J. WOULD LOVE IT.
159
00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:53,644
GREAT. I'M REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
160
00:07:53,644 --> 00:07:54,975
BYE.
161
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,547
(beep)
162
00:08:05,215 --> 00:08:06,486
(vacuum whirring,
telephone rings)
163
00:08:08,218 --> 00:08:09,920
(turns vacuum off)
164
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,962
(beep)
HELLO?
165
00:08:11,962 --> 00:08:14,595
OH, HI, PRINCIPAL HARDY.
WHAT'S UP?
166
00:08:15,926 --> 00:08:18,599
SHE'S WEARING WHAT?
167
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,931
NOW MARCH IN THERE
AND WIPE THAT STUFF OFF!
168
00:08:20,931 --> 00:08:23,934
YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL.
YES, I DO.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
169
00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:26,937
HOW HUMILIATING IT WAS
FOR ME TO GET THAT CALL TODAY?
170
00:08:26,937 --> 00:08:28,939
NOW EVERY PARENT IN TOWN
IS GONNA THINK
171
00:08:28,939 --> 00:08:32,883
THAT I LET MY 6-YEAR-OLD
WEAR MAKEUP TO SCHOOL!
172
00:08:32,883 --> 00:08:34,885
AND I WANT MY MAKEUP BACK.
173
00:08:34,885 --> 00:08:36,987
IS IT IN HERE? (sighs)
174
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,292
WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS?
175
00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:43,924
JUANITA.
176
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:46,526
I WAS TRYING TO LOOK
LIKE YOU.
177
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,258
WHY?
178
00:08:48,258 --> 00:08:51,862
SOME GIRLS AT SCHOOL
SAW YOU PICK ME UP YESTERDAY
179
00:08:51,862 --> 00:08:54,635
AND TOLD ME
I MUST BE ADOPTED.
180
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:57,868
THEY SAID I WASN'T PRETTY ENOUGH
TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER.
181
00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:01,241
(sighs)
182
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,321
(groans)
HOW'S IT FEELING,
MRS. McCLUSKEY?
183
00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:14,224
I-IT'S REALLY THROBBING.
OH, PLEASE HURRY.
184
00:09:14,224 --> 00:09:16,056
OKAY.
185
00:09:22,192 --> 00:09:24,234
(brakes squeal)
186
00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:25,736
HI THERE.
187
00:09:25,736 --> 00:09:29,239
JACKSON, HEY. YOU'RE BACK.
188
00:09:29,239 --> 00:09:32,172
I NEEDED TO TALK TO YOU.
189
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,144
WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL?
190
00:09:34,144 --> 00:09:36,576
I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU.
191
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,148
WELL, YOU DID.
192
00:09:38,148 --> 00:09:39,579
AHEM.
193
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,181
OH, UH, RIGHT.
194
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,213
JACKSON, YOU REMEMBER
MRS. McCLUSKEY, DON'T YOU?
195
00:09:43,213 --> 00:09:45,786
SURE. HOW ARE YOU,
MRS. McCLUSKEY?
196
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,288
OH, I'M IN AGONIZING PAIN.
THANKS FOR ASKING.
197
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,290
I'M TAKING HER TO THE DOCTOR
198
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,793
SO HE CAN PERFORM
A LITTLE PROCEDURE.
199
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,995
HE'S GONNA LANCE A BOIL
ON MY BACKSIDE.
200
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:57,227
IT MAY RUPTURE ANY SECOND.
201
00:09:57,227 --> 00:09:58,328
OKAY.
202
00:09:58,328 --> 00:10:02,633
I JUST HAD MY CAR DETAILED,
SO I SHOULD PROBABLY GO.
203
00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:04,204
NO PROBLEM.
204
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,306
UH, WHEN CAN I SEE YOU?
205
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,809
UM...
206
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,881
HOW ABOUT DINNER
TOMORROW NIGHT?
207
00:10:10,881 --> 00:10:13,313
SOUNDS GREAT.
208
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:16,787
IF YOU TWO WANT
TO KEEP STARING AT EACH OTHER,
209
00:10:16,787 --> 00:10:19,750
I CAN JUST GO LAY DOWN
ON THE LAWN AND DIE.
210
00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:21,321
I DON'T MIND.
211
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,193
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
212
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,296
(grunts)
213
00:10:26,296 --> 00:10:27,828
(tires peal)
214
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,801
(knock on door)
215
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:32,132
KARL.
216
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,404
HEY, MIKE. HEARD M.J.'s
HAVING A SLEEPOVER.
217
00:10:34,404 --> 00:10:36,807
I THOUGHT I'D HIT YOU UP
FOR AN INVITATION.
218
00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:40,010
AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD
FOR SLEEPOVERS?
219
00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:42,172
CARDS ON THE TABLE.
I NEED YOUR HELP.
220
00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:45,175
EVAN'S ONE OF THE ONLY BOYS
IN CLASS WHO WASN'T INVITED,
221
00:10:45,175 --> 00:10:46,677
AND HE'S REALLY UPSET.
222
00:10:46,677 --> 00:10:50,120
OKAY, CARDS ON THE TABLE.
M.J. SAYS EVAN'S A BULLY,
223
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,322
AND HE DOESN'T WANT HIM
AT HIS SLEEPOVER.
224
00:10:52,322 --> 00:10:55,726
WELL, WHAT IF I PROMISE EVAN
WILL BE ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOR?
225
00:10:55,726 --> 00:10:58,889
I'M SORRY. IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS.
M.J. FINALIZED HIS GUEST LIST.
226
00:10:58,889 --> 00:11:01,792
WELL, I THINK
IF YOU CHECK THAT LIST AGAIN,
227
00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:04,965
YOU'LL NOTICE EVAN'S NAME'S
ON THERE.
228
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,798
I'M M.J.'s DAD,
229
00:11:07,798 --> 00:11:10,440
NOT HIS BOUNCER.
230
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,842
BUT...
231
00:11:11,842 --> 00:11:13,173
THANKS.
232
00:11:14,905 --> 00:11:16,807
HEY, HONEY.
HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING?
233
00:11:16,807 --> 00:11:19,309
VERY EXCITING. JUST GOT BACK
FROM THE GROCERY STORE.
234
00:11:19,309 --> 00:11:22,182
IT IS DOUBLE COUPON DAY,
SORTA LIKE THE OSCARS
235
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,414
AND THE SUPER BOWL
ALL ROLLED INTO ONE.
236
00:11:24,414 --> 00:11:26,817
(laughs) DID YOU REMEMBER
TO GET MY, UM...
237
00:11:26,817 --> 00:11:28,819
(lowered voice)
MY SPECIAL DEODORANT?
238
00:11:28,819 --> 00:11:30,320
I SURE DID. (chuckles)
239
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,023
MILADY'S ARMPITS
WILL BE ALUMINUM-FREE.
240
00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:36,767
HOW IS YOUR DAY?
I'm totally slammed,
which is why I'm calling.
241
00:11:36,767 --> 00:11:39,069
IT LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA
BE HERE LATE TONIGHT,
242
00:11:39,069 --> 00:11:41,201
AND BY "LATE,"
I MEAN PAST MIDNIGHT.
243
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,974
WAIT. W-WHAT ABOUT OUR PACT?
244
00:11:43,974 --> 00:11:47,908
WE'LL... DOUBLE UP TOMORROW.
LYNETTE, I HAVE BEEN LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS ALL DAY.
245
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,240
I KNOW, AND I'M REALLY SORRY.
LISTEN, I GOTTA GO.
246
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,313
I WILL CALL YOU LATER.
I LOVE YOU. BYE. (kisses)
(beep)
247
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,786
(sighs)
(beep)
248
00:12:00,390 --> 00:12:04,724
TOM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
249
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,156
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
250
00:12:06,156 --> 00:12:09,800
WELL,
THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING...
251
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,332
HERE?
(locks door)
252
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:15,065
OH, NO.
253
00:12:15,065 --> 00:12:17,267
ARE YOU CRAZY?
254
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:19,369
CRAZY ABOUT YOU, BABY.
255
00:12:19,369 --> 00:12:21,912
BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO,
256
00:12:21,912 --> 00:12:25,776
AND I'M NOT GONNA BE DONE
TILL 2:00 A.M.
257
00:12:25,776 --> 00:12:27,747
POSSIBLY 3:00.
258
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,881
WHOO!
COME ON. THIS IS IMPORTANT.
REMEMBER WHAT THE BOOK SAID?
259
00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:33,523
EVERY NIGHT, NO MATTER WHAT.
260
00:12:33,523 --> 00:12:37,487
(grunts)
NO, THIS IS
A REALLY BAD TIME FOR ME.
261
00:12:37,487 --> 00:12:38,789
MM.
262
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:46,096
WELL, YOU DID BUY ME
THAT DEODORANT. OOH!
263
00:12:46,096 --> 00:12:49,239
MMM.
264
00:12:49,239 --> 00:12:50,770
MMM.
(beep)
265
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,103
(woman) Lynette,
I have Carlos on line two.
266
00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:55,775
UH, TELL HIM
I'LL CALL RIGHT BACK.
267
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,546
MM.
268
00:12:56,546 --> 00:12:59,850
He says it's really important.
269
00:12:59,850 --> 00:13:01,281
HELLO?
270
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,084
Hey, Lynette. I'm over here
at Capital Consultants,
271
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,086
AND THE GUYS HAVE A QUESTION.
272
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:09,259
I NEED YOU TO PULL UP
THEIR ACCOUNT.
Now? I'm kind of busy!
273
00:13:09,259 --> 00:13:12,022
WELL, THE AD HAS TO BE
AT THE PRINTER'S BY NOON,
274
00:13:12,022 --> 00:13:14,794
so yeah, now.
MWAH. MMM.
275
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,397
(moaning)
276
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,430
(giggles)
(Tom panting)
277
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:24,204
LYNETTE?
278
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,336
LYNETTE!
279
00:13:26,336 --> 00:13:28,178
Yes?
280
00:13:28,178 --> 00:13:29,910
WHAT'S GOING ON?
YOU ALL RIGHT?
281
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:36,016
SORRY. JUST HAD THE HANDYMAN
IN HERE, BUT HE'S FINISHED.
282
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,118
Thank you, handyman.
283
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,921
(Tom) You're welcome, ma'am.
284
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,894
So... Carlos...
285
00:13:43,894 --> 00:13:46,396
WHERE WERE WE?
286
00:13:47,998 --> 00:13:51,431
COULD I GET YOU SOMETHING?
NO, THANKS, I DON'T DRINK.
287
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,203
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
288
00:13:53,203 --> 00:13:55,906
GLUG GLUG. I REMEMBER NOW.
289
00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:58,909
I'M BRINGING YOU BUSINESS, KARL.
TRY NOT TO INSULT ME.
290
00:13:58,909 --> 00:14:00,410
SORRY.
291
00:14:00,410 --> 00:14:02,472
SO YOU WANT
TO DIVORCE ORSON.
292
00:14:02,472 --> 00:14:05,245
YES, I KNOW
THAT COMES AS A SURPRISE.
293
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,547
NOT REALLY. I'VE MET HIM.
294
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,049
THE GUY'S A STIFF.
295
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,051
KARL, IF WE MOVE FORWARD,
296
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:14,054
I WILL INSIST YOU HANDLE
OUR DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY.
297
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,555
(sets pen down)
298
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,057
ARE YOU SURE?
299
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,230
I DON'T KNOW OF A DIGNIFIED WAY
TO SCREW A SPOUSE OUT OF MONEY
300
00:14:20,230 --> 00:14:22,963
THAT THEY, BY LAW,
ARE ENTITLED TO.
301
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,195
THAT IS WHY YOU'RE HIRING ME,
RIGHT?
302
00:14:25,195 --> 00:14:28,198
I JUST WANT TO PROTECT
WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE.
303
00:14:28,198 --> 00:14:30,040
CAN YOU HELP ME?
304
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,942
(ice cubes rattling)
SURE.
305
00:14:31,942 --> 00:14:33,103
LOVELY.
306
00:14:33,103 --> 00:14:36,006
I'LL MAKE OUT A CHECK.
YEAH, NOT SO FAST.
307
00:14:36,006 --> 00:14:39,479
UH, I SAID I COULD DO IT,
NOT THAT I WOULD.
308
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,111
I NEED A FAVOR.
309
00:14:41,111 --> 00:14:43,413
WELL, WHAT KIND OF A FAVOR?
310
00:14:45,115 --> 00:14:47,017
M.J. DELFINO IS HAVING
311
00:14:47,017 --> 00:14:49,219
A SLEEPOVER AT HIS HOUSE
IN TWO DAYS.
312
00:14:49,219 --> 00:14:52,422
MY SON WASN'T INVITED.
NOW HIS FEELINGS ARE HURT.
313
00:14:52,422 --> 00:14:54,394
SO?
314
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,967
SO I WANT YOU TO GET MY SON
INTO THAT SLEEPOVER.
315
00:14:56,967 --> 00:15:00,130
HOW WOULD I GO ABOUT
DOING THAT?
316
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:01,431
GOSH, I DON'T KNOW.
317
00:15:01,431 --> 00:15:05,035
HOW WOULD I GO ABOUT HIDING
YOUR ASSETS FROM ORSON?
318
00:15:05,035 --> 00:15:07,037
I NEED YOUR HELP, KARL.
I REALLY DO,
319
00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:11,281
BUT I AM NOT COMFORTABLE
MANIPULATING A 6-YEAR-OLD.
320
00:15:11,281 --> 00:15:15,085
MM-HMM. YOU KNOW,
I HAD THIS ONE CLIENT...
321
00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:17,387
HIS WIFE HAD BEEN WITH HIM
SINCE JUNIOR HIGH.
322
00:15:17,387 --> 00:15:19,389
SHE SUPPORTED HIM
THROUGH MED SCHOOL,
323
00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:22,222
GAVE HIM THREE KIDS
AND THE BEST YEARS OF HER LIFE.
324
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:26,026
ONCE I HAD DONE MY PARTICULAR
BRAND OF LEGAL MAGIC,
325
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,028
HE ENDED UP
WITH 90% OF THE MONEY,
326
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,630
AND SHE ENDED UP
IN A STUDIO APARTMENT...
327
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,432
WITH A ROOMMATE.
328
00:15:39,469 --> 00:15:41,141
THEN AGAIN...
329
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,043
M.J. DOES...
330
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:47,047
LOVE MY MACAROONS.
331
00:15:54,524 --> 00:15:57,027
SWEETIE, DON'T LISTEN
TO THOSE KIDS. THEY'RE IDIOTS.
332
00:15:57,027 --> 00:16:00,090
YOU ARE A GORGEOUS LITTLE GIRL.
YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT.
YOU'RE MY DAD.
333
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:02,332
NO, IT'S THE TRUTH.
YOU ARE NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL.
334
00:16:02,332 --> 00:16:06,266
MAKEUP JUST COVERS THAT UP.
HE'S RIGHT, SWEETIE. YOU DON'T
NEED ALL THAT GUNK ON YOUR FACE.
335
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:09,239
THEN WHY DO YOU WEAR IT?
BECAUSE I'M AN ADULT.
336
00:16:09,239 --> 00:16:12,172
AND BESIDES,
I HARDLY WEAR ANY.
337
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,175
COME ON, GABY.
LET'S TRY TO KEEP THIS REAL.
338
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:18,348
ARE YOU GONNA WEAR MAKEUP
WHEN DADDY GETS HIS BIG AWARD?
339
00:16:18,348 --> 00:16:21,451
WELL, IT'S A BIG, FANCY DINNER.
OF COURSE.
340
00:16:21,451 --> 00:16:23,453
BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR.
SWEETIE, YOU'RE 6.
341
00:16:23,453 --> 00:16:26,116
THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS
I CAN DO THAT YOU DON'T.
342
00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:28,118
SO YOU GET TO LOOK PRETTY
AT DADDY'S PARTY,
343
00:16:28,118 --> 00:16:31,261
AND I HAVE
TO LOOK LIKE THIS?
344
00:16:31,261 --> 00:16:34,724
HEY, I HAVE A GREAT IDEA.
OKAY, SEE? YOUR DADDY'S
GOT A GREAT IDEA.
345
00:16:34,724 --> 00:16:38,428
HOW ABOUT IF NEITHER ONE OF YOU
WEARS MAKEUP TO THE DINNER?
346
00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:40,600
OKAY.
(chuckles)
347
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:45,205
NO, NO, NO.
YOUR DADDY'S JUST BEING SILLY.
348
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:48,478
CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND,
SILLY DADDY?
349
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:52,782
(lowers voice) ARE YOU
A LUNATIC? I AM NOT WALKING
350
00:16:52,782 --> 00:16:56,386
INTO A BALLROOM FULL OF PEOPLE
WITHOUT MY FACE ON.
COME ON. THIS IS
THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY
351
00:16:56,386 --> 00:16:58,448
TO TEACH HER
THAT BEAUTY'S ONLY SKIN DEEP.
352
00:16:58,448 --> 00:17:02,021
YEAH, WELL, ONCE YOU SEE
THIS SKIN WITHOUT FOUNDATION,
353
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,355
YOU MAY WANT TO RETHINK THAT.
GABY, YOUR DAUGHTER IS IN PAIN.
AND DON'T YOU LOVE HER ENOUGH
354
00:17:05,355 --> 00:17:07,527
TO PUT YOUR VANITY ASIDE
FOR ONE NIGHT?
355
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:12,602
I WAS IN LABOR FOR 20 HOURS.
SHE STILL OWES ME FOR THAT!
356
00:17:12,602 --> 00:17:15,405
(scoffs) FINE.
357
00:17:15,405 --> 00:17:17,737
I WILL MAKE
THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE,
358
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,810
AND I WILL BE UGLY
FOR MY DAUGHTER.
359
00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:24,274
BUT IF SHE EVER NEEDS
A KIDNEY...
360
00:17:24,274 --> 00:17:26,416
(sighs)
361
00:17:29,179 --> 00:17:31,721
WOW. YOU'RE REALLY GOING ALL OUT
ON THIS SLEEPOVER.
362
00:17:31,721 --> 00:17:33,723
(chuckles)
ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE
363
00:17:33,723 --> 00:17:36,686
THAT TONS OF SUGAR AND WHISTLES
ARE A GOOD COMBINATION.
364
00:17:36,686 --> 00:17:38,188
OH, GOOD POINT.
365
00:17:38,188 --> 00:17:41,491
I'LL MAKE US SOME GOODY BAGS
FILLED WITH EARPLUGS AND VODKA.
366
00:17:41,491 --> 00:17:44,234
IT'S GREAT. I'M SURE
M.J. WILL APPRECIATE IT.
367
00:17:44,234 --> 00:17:45,665
I'M SURE HE WILL.
368
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,497
HE'S A GREAT KID...
369
00:17:47,497 --> 00:17:50,370
AND FUNNY.
370
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,802
(laughs) THAT WAS HILARIOUS
THE OTHER DAY,
371
00:17:52,802 --> 00:17:56,376
WHEN HE ASKED US
WHEN WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.
I'M GLAD
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.
372
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,478
I WAS TAP-DANCING
MY ASS OFF.
373
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:01,181
NO, YOU WERE GREAT.
374
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,452
ALTHOUGH...
375
00:18:02,452 --> 00:18:05,455
SOMEDAY YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE
TO ANSWER THE QUESTION.
376
00:18:05,455 --> 00:18:08,518
I'M SURE HE'S FORGOTTEN
BY NOW. YOU KNOW KIDS.
377
00:18:08,518 --> 00:18:10,260
KIDS ARE LIKE THAT.
378
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:13,823
GROWN-UPS
ON THE OTHER HAND...
379
00:18:13,823 --> 00:18:15,595
NOT SO MUCH.
380
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:19,098
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT M.J.
ANYMORE, ARE WE?
381
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:23,133
OH, YOU WANT TO GO RUN
AND GET YOUR TAP SHOES?
382
00:18:23,133 --> 00:18:25,675
NO. NO.
I'LL BE COMPLETELY HONEST HERE.
383
00:18:25,675 --> 00:18:27,677
MOVING IN WITH YOU IS
384
00:18:27,677 --> 00:18:30,310
ONE OF THE BEST DECISIONS
I EVER MADE.
(chuckles)
385
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:33,143
YOU MAKE ME
REALLY, REALLY HAPPY.
386
00:18:33,143 --> 00:18:35,385
BUT?
387
00:18:35,385 --> 00:18:37,517
I'VE BEEN MARRIED BEFORE,
388
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:41,291
AND I JUST DON'T SEE MYSELF
GETTING MARRIED AGAIN.
389
00:18:44,394 --> 00:18:46,526
OKAY.
390
00:18:48,158 --> 00:18:50,460
PROBABLY NOT
WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR.
391
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,162
I WANTED THE TRUTH.
392
00:18:52,162 --> 00:18:54,364
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
THE TRUTH SUCKS.
393
00:18:57,367 --> 00:19:00,440
SO COULD YOU GET THE STREAMERS
OUT OF THE CAR?
394
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,272
SURE.
395
00:19:03,613 --> 00:19:05,345
OH, BY THE WAY,
396
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,517
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH,
397
00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:09,549
I DO LOVE YOU.
398
00:19:14,924 --> 00:19:16,886
(toots)
399
00:19:19,489 --> 00:19:23,563
I'VE ONLY BEEN WORKING THERE
TWO MONTHS, BUT I LOVE IT.
400
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,535
AND THE KIDS ARE SO CUTE.
401
00:19:25,535 --> 00:19:30,370
AND I GET TO SEE M.J.
DURING THE DAY, WHICH IS NICE.
402
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:33,543
UH, YOU KNOW, UH,
403
00:19:33,543 --> 00:19:36,706
FOR A GUY THAT JUST HAD
TO SEE ME SO BAD,
404
00:19:36,706 --> 00:19:40,550
YOU... YOU SEEM
AWFULLY FAR AWAY.
405
00:19:40,550 --> 00:19:43,613
I'M SORRY.
406
00:19:43,613 --> 00:19:45,585
I'M JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS.
407
00:19:47,557 --> 00:19:49,719
I HAVE SOMETHING...
408
00:19:49,719 --> 00:19:53,723
TO ASK YOU, AND I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU'RE GONNA REACT.
409
00:19:53,723 --> 00:19:56,596
WHAT IS IT?
410
00:19:57,967 --> 00:19:59,699
OH.
411
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:03,503
THIS IS GONNA
COME OUT OF NOWHERE, BUT...
412
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,509
I WANT YOU TO MARRY ME.
413
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:16,446
A-AND HERE'S HOW I CAME TO THIS.
THE OTHER DAY...
(gasps)
414
00:20:16,446 --> 00:20:18,348
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
415
00:20:18,348 --> 00:20:20,950
I HAVE TO GO UPSTAIRS.
416
00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:22,352
NOW?
417
00:20:22,352 --> 00:20:26,356
(crying)
418
00:20:29,299 --> 00:20:31,301
SUSAN, ARE YOU OKAY?
419
00:20:31,301 --> 00:20:34,664
I'M FINE. I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO SEE ME CRYING.
420
00:20:34,664 --> 00:20:37,337
HONEY,
YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH.
421
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,808
OH, I'M SORRY.
422
00:20:38,808 --> 00:20:40,640
JUST, UM,
423
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,572
ALL THESE MONTHS,
424
00:20:42,572 --> 00:20:46,015
I'VE BEEN TELLING MYSELF THAT
I DIDN'T REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU,
425
00:20:46,015 --> 00:20:50,380
WHICH WAS EASY TO DO
BECAUSE YOU LEFT SO SUDDENLY.
426
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:53,883
BUT I AM SO LONELY.
427
00:20:53,883 --> 00:20:55,885
AND AS MUCH AS I TELL MYSELF
428
00:20:55,885 --> 00:21:01,791
THAT I LIKE BEING THE STRONG,
SINGLE WOMAN ON HER OWN,
429
00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:03,993
THE TRUTH IS,
430
00:21:03,993 --> 00:21:07,367
I THINK ABOUT YOU
ALL THE TIME.
431
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,839
AND I WANTED TO CALL YOU,
432
00:21:09,839 --> 00:21:13,543
BUT I THOUGHT
YOU'D GOTTEN OVER ME.
433
00:21:13,543 --> 00:21:18,408
AND TO HEAR
THAT YOU STILL LOVE ME...
434
00:21:18,408 --> 00:21:20,410
THAT IS JUST SOMETHING
435
00:21:20,410 --> 00:21:23,713
THAT I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR
RIGHT NOW.
436
00:21:23,713 --> 00:21:25,715
AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW--
437
00:21:25,715 --> 00:21:28,718
OH, GOD. I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
438
00:21:28,718 --> 00:21:30,520
JACKSON...
439
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,793
I LOVE YOU.
440
00:21:35,365 --> 00:21:36,666
(gasps)
441
00:21:36,666 --> 00:21:39,669
(panting)
442
00:21:44,534 --> 00:21:46,536
JACKSON?
443
00:21:46,536 --> 00:21:48,638
OH, GOD.
444
00:21:48,638 --> 00:21:52,782
I REALLY WISH
YOU'D LET ME FINISH.
445
00:21:52,782 --> 00:21:54,514
FINISH WHAT?
446
00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,886
SUSAN,
I NEED YOU TO MARRY ME
447
00:21:56,886 --> 00:22:00,720
SO THAT IMMIGRATION DOESN'T
DEPORT ME BACK TO CANADA.
448
00:22:03,653 --> 00:22:06,426
AND THE ONE THING
I DIDN'T TELL YOU IS THAT
449
00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:10,560
I'M HERE ON A STUDENT VISA
THAT EXPIRED SIX YEARS AGO,
450
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,562
AND I GOT A CALL
FROM THE AUTHORITIES,
451
00:22:12,562 --> 00:22:15,565
SO UNLESS I CAN FIND SOMEBODY
THAT WILL MARRY ME,
452
00:22:15,565 --> 00:22:17,637
I'M GONNA BE
IN REALLY BIG TROUBLE.
453
00:22:20,069 --> 00:22:21,871
SUSAN?
454
00:22:21,871 --> 00:22:24,914
SUSAN, DID YOU HEAR ME?
455
00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:28,548
I HEARD.
456
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,120
SO...
457
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,022
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
458
00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:38,988
OKAY. OKAY,
IT WAS A BAD IDEA.
459
00:22:38,988 --> 00:22:42,732
GET OUT OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS
BACK TO THE CANADIAN BORDER!
460
00:22:42,732 --> 00:22:44,694
(thud)
OW!
461
00:22:44,694 --> 00:22:46,766
(door opens and closes)
(pants)
462
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:50,440
TOOK A SHOWER,
BRUSHED MY TEETH.
463
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,504
WE ARE GOOD TO GO.
464
00:22:54,504 --> 00:22:56,746
MMM.
465
00:22:56,746 --> 00:22:57,847
LYNETTE.
466
00:23:01,951 --> 00:23:03,653
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
467
00:23:03,653 --> 00:23:05,615
YOU KNOW, THE PACT.
468
00:23:05,615 --> 00:23:07,016
OH.
469
00:23:07,016 --> 00:23:09,018
DIDN'T WE ALREADY DO IT
TONIGHT?
470
00:23:09,018 --> 00:23:10,590
(chuckles) NO.
471
00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:13,863
OH, THEY'RE ALL STARTING
TO BLUR.
(moans)
472
00:23:13,863 --> 00:23:16,165
LOOK, I WORKED TILL 3:00 A.M.
LAST NIGHT.
473
00:23:16,165 --> 00:23:19,068
I'M EXHAUSTED. HOW ABOUT
WE TAKE A RAIN CHECK?
474
00:23:19,068 --> 00:23:21,771
A RAIN CHECK?
MM.
475
00:23:21,771 --> 00:23:23,673
THIS ISN'T BASEBALL.
476
00:23:23,673 --> 00:23:26,706
EVERY NIGHT FOR 30 DAYS--
THAT'S THE LAW.
477
00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:31,010
TOM,
I HAVE A 7:00 A.M. MEETING.
478
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:33,082
HOW ABOUT
I TAKE A LONG LUNCH,
479
00:23:33,082 --> 00:23:36,045
AND YOU DO ME TWICE AT WORK
TOMORROW?
480
00:23:36,045 --> 00:23:37,517
COME ON.
481
00:23:37,517 --> 00:23:39,889
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
482
00:23:39,889 --> 00:23:42,091
OKAY.
483
00:23:42,091 --> 00:23:43,723
OKAY.
484
00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:45,995
WE'LL HAVE SEX.
485
00:23:45,995 --> 00:23:47,997
BUT CAN YOU MAKE IT QUICK?
486
00:23:47,997 --> 00:23:49,699
LYNETTE, PLEASE.
487
00:23:49,699 --> 00:23:51,701
YOU CAN'T RUSH AN ARTIST.
488
00:23:51,701 --> 00:23:53,062
MMM.
489
00:23:53,062 --> 00:23:54,804
MMM.
490
00:23:54,804 --> 00:23:58,067
(moaning)
491
00:24:02,011 --> 00:24:05,975
(snoring)
492
00:24:12,682 --> 00:24:15,454
MORNING. OH, SORRY. I DON'T
HAVE TIME FOR BREAKFAST.
493
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,487
(dishes clatter)
GOOD.
I DIDN'T MAKE YOU ANY.
494
00:24:17,487 --> 00:24:19,759
OH, OKAY.
UH, COFFEE WILL BE FINE.
495
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:22,832
BEANS ARE RIGHT THERE.
GRAB A HANDFUL AND GRIND.
496
00:24:22,832 --> 00:24:25,094
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
497
00:24:27,236 --> 00:24:29,769
YOU DON'T REMEMBER?
498
00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:32,171
LAST NIGHT,
WE WERE HAVING SEX?
499
00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:34,003
YOU FELL ASLEEP?
500
00:24:35,745 --> 00:24:36,846
AFTER?
501
00:24:36,846 --> 00:24:38,147
DURING.
502
00:24:38,147 --> 00:24:40,650
OH.
503
00:24:40,650 --> 00:24:42,982
WAS IT GOOD? (chuckles)
504
00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:45,785
I DIDN'T FINISH.
505
00:24:45,785 --> 00:24:48,618
GOD, YOU RUINED OUR STREAK,
LYNETTE.
506
00:24:48,618 --> 00:24:51,521
I'M SORRY. I WAS EXHAUSTED.
507
00:24:51,521 --> 00:24:54,524
IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS
ASKING YOU TO SCRUB A FLOOR.
508
00:24:54,524 --> 00:24:57,997
ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS
LIE THERE, LIKE YOU USUALLY DO.
509
00:24:57,997 --> 00:25:01,701
OH, OKAY. I'M GONNA LET THAT ONE
GO, 'CAUSE YOU'RE UPSET.
510
00:25:01,701 --> 00:25:03,172
WELL, IT'S TRUE.
511
00:25:03,172 --> 00:25:05,234
WITH YOU BEING SO TIRED
FROM WORK LATELY,
512
00:25:05,234 --> 00:25:07,837
I'M THE ONE DOING
ALL THE HEAVY LIFTING.
513
00:25:07,837 --> 00:25:09,839
TOM, YOU'RE BEING
COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL.
514
00:25:09,839 --> 00:25:11,941
WE'VE HAD SEX
23 DAYS STRAIGHT.
515
00:25:11,941 --> 00:25:15,244
I'VE SEEN MORE CEILING
THAN MICHELANGELO.
WE MADE A COMMITMENT, LYNETTE.
THE BOOK SAYS--
516
00:25:15,244 --> 00:25:17,246
OH, WOULD YOU STOP
WITH THE BOOK?
517
00:25:17,246 --> 00:25:19,889
YOU BOUGHT IT AT A CAR WASH
518
00:25:19,889 --> 00:25:23,192
ALONG WITH A PACK OF GUM
AND AN AIR FRESHENER.
YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S STUPID.
ALL MY IDEAS ARE STUPID.
519
00:25:23,192 --> 00:25:27,096
I SHOULD JUST STICK
TO DOING CHORES.
DON'T JUST WALK AWAY.
520
00:25:27,096 --> 00:25:29,959
YOU BETTER GET TO WORK, LYNETTE.
YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE.
521
00:25:35,204 --> 00:25:37,967
HEY. HAVEN'T SEEN YOU BOYS
IN A WHILE.
522
00:25:37,967 --> 00:25:40,309
THERE'S BEEN A BREAK IN THE CLUB
FIRE CASE, MR. WILLIAMS.
523
00:25:40,309 --> 00:25:41,871
YOU GOT A MINUTE?
524
00:25:41,871 --> 00:25:44,614
(Detective Collins)
DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY?
525
00:25:44,614 --> 00:25:47,276
NO. WHO IS HE?
526
00:25:47,276 --> 00:25:49,579
DR. SAMUEL HELLER,
PSYCHIATRIST FROM BOSTON.
527
00:25:49,579 --> 00:25:51,751
HE'S THE GUY WHO BURNED UP
IN THE FIRE.
528
00:25:51,751 --> 00:25:54,924
WHAT'S A SHRINK FROM BOSTON
DOING IN FAIRVIEW?
529
00:25:54,924 --> 00:25:57,256
NO IDEA,
BUT WE'D LIKE TO FIND OUT
530
00:25:57,256 --> 00:26:00,259
IF ANYONE KNOWS HIM
OR WHAT HE WAS DOING THERE.
531
00:26:00,259 --> 00:26:04,563
DID YOU SEE HIM BACKSTAGE?
NO, I DIDN'T SEE ANYBODY.
532
00:26:06,836 --> 00:26:08,738
EXCEPT PORTER SCAVO.
533
00:26:08,738 --> 00:26:12,201
YEAH, BUT I TOLD YOU.
THAT WAS A MISTAKE.
534
00:26:15,344 --> 00:26:17,346
DO YOU KNOW A GUY NAMED
JACKSON BRADDOCK?
535
00:26:17,346 --> 00:26:20,710
HE WAS BACKSTAGE.
WAS HE?
536
00:26:20,710 --> 00:26:22,682
YEAH, HE GOT LOCKED
IN THE EMPLOYEE MEN'S ROOM
537
00:26:22,682 --> 00:26:25,915
RIGHT BEFORE
THE FIRE STARTED.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.
538
00:26:25,915 --> 00:26:28,618
HAVE YOU TALKED TO HIM?
WE'VE BEEN TRYING,
539
00:26:28,618 --> 00:26:31,220
BUT HE LEFT TOWN, AND WE'VE BEEN
UNABLE TO FIND HIM.
540
00:26:31,220 --> 00:26:35,594
THAT'S A SHAME.
WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
THANKS FOR YOUR TIME.
541
00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:37,166
YOU BET.
542
00:26:41,731 --> 00:26:43,002
(beep)
543
00:26:43,002 --> 00:26:45,735
(dials)
544
00:26:45,735 --> 00:26:47,737
(door closes)
545
00:26:47,737 --> 00:26:49,238
HEY, SUSAN. IT'S DAVE.
546
00:26:49,238 --> 00:26:52,241
YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING
I'D PICK UP YOU AND M.J.
547
00:26:52,241 --> 00:26:54,744
AROUND 6:00 A.M. SATURDAY
FOR THE TRIP.
548
00:26:54,744 --> 00:26:58,347
YEAH. I FIGURED THE EARLIER
WE GET GOING, THE BETTER.
549
00:26:58,347 --> 00:27:00,389
OKAY.
550
00:27:00,389 --> 00:27:02,621
(beep)
551
00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:06,195
WELL, HELLO THERE, M.J.
552
00:27:06,195 --> 00:27:08,157
I WAS BAKING THIS MORNING,
AND LIKE AN IDIOT,
553
00:27:08,157 --> 00:27:10,159
I MADE TOO MANY MACAROONS.
554
00:27:10,159 --> 00:27:12,161
WOULD YOU BE WILLING
TO TAKE ONE?
555
00:27:12,161 --> 00:27:15,164
I WOULD HATE TO SEE THEM
GO TO WASTE.
MACAROONS ARE MY FAVORITE.
556
00:27:15,164 --> 00:27:18,668
OH, REALLY?
WHAT A DELIGHTFUL COINCIDENCE.
557
00:27:18,668 --> 00:27:21,671
YOU KNOW, I COULD BAKE THESE
FOR YOU EVERY WEEK,
558
00:27:21,671 --> 00:27:25,074
AND ALL I'D NEED IN RETURN IS
JUST THE TINIEST OF FAVORS.
559
00:27:25,074 --> 00:27:26,375
WHAT KIND OF FAVOR?
560
00:27:26,375 --> 00:27:29,078
INVITE EVAN MAYER
TO YOUR SLEEPOVER.
561
00:27:29,078 --> 00:27:31,280
I DON'T LIKE EVAN.
HE'S MEAN.
562
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,282
OH, NO.
563
00:27:33,282 --> 00:27:35,885
DEEP DOWN,
HE'S JUST A FRAGILE LITTLE BOY
564
00:27:35,885 --> 00:27:38,758
WHO WANTS TO BE LIKED.
565
00:27:38,758 --> 00:27:40,990
HE HIT ME
WITH A DEAD SQUIRREL.
566
00:27:40,990 --> 00:27:43,963
NOW, M.J., WE CAN FIND FAULTS
WITH ALL OUR FRIENDS
567
00:27:43,963 --> 00:27:45,194
IF WE NITPICK.
568
00:27:45,194 --> 00:27:47,767
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WILL YOU INVITE HIM?
569
00:27:49,398 --> 00:27:51,901
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME ICE CREAM
WITH YOUR MACAROONS?
570
00:27:51,901 --> 00:27:54,103
BECAUSE I COULD MAKE THAT
HAPPEN.
571
00:27:54,103 --> 00:27:56,005
BREE?
572
00:27:56,005 --> 00:27:57,977
I'M LATE FOR MY GOLF GAME.
573
00:27:57,977 --> 00:28:00,679
I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO GO TO THE A.T.M.,
574
00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:05,715
SO I TOOK THE CASH
OUT OF YOUR WALLET.
575
00:28:05,715 --> 00:28:08,057
BYE.
576
00:28:10,389 --> 00:28:12,021
(sighs)
577
00:28:16,025 --> 00:28:19,468
M.J.,
THERE'S SOMEONE IN MY LIFE
578
00:28:19,468 --> 00:28:22,331
WHO HITS ME
WITH A DEAD SQUIRREL
579
00:28:22,331 --> 00:28:25,805
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
580
00:28:25,805 --> 00:28:29,178
AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN HELP ME.
581
00:28:29,178 --> 00:28:33,142
PLEASE, PLEASE INVITE EVAN
TO YOUR PARTY.
582
00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:37,116
OKAY.
583
00:28:37,116 --> 00:28:40,489
(whispers) THANK YOU.
584
00:28:40,489 --> 00:28:42,822
OH, THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.
585
00:28:45,895 --> 00:28:51,300
BOY, THE STUFF I DO
FOR MACAROONS.
586
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:54,433
(doorbell rings)
587
00:28:59,869 --> 00:29:02,772
GO AWAY! I-I DON'T WANT
TO TALK TO YOU.
588
00:29:02,772 --> 00:29:04,513
COME ON. LET ME IN.
589
00:29:04,513 --> 00:29:06,816
THANKS, BUT I'VE REACHED
MY MAXIMUM ALLOWANCE
590
00:29:06,816 --> 00:29:09,148
FOR HUMILIATION THIS WEEK.
591
00:29:09,148 --> 00:29:12,321
LISTEN, I'M SORRY YOU THOUGHT
IT WAS A REAL PROPOSAL.
592
00:29:12,321 --> 00:29:15,484
I THOUGHT YOU KNEW
I'D MOVED ON.
593
00:29:15,484 --> 00:29:18,457
MAXIMUM ALLOWANCE EXCEEDED.
594
00:29:21,490 --> 00:29:22,992
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
595
00:29:22,992 --> 00:29:26,836
I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE. YOU HAVE
EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD AT ME.
596
00:29:26,836 --> 00:29:29,168
OH, I'M NOT MAD AT YOU.
597
00:29:29,168 --> 00:29:32,141
YOU KNOW, I'M JUST
DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF.
598
00:29:33,803 --> 00:29:36,505
I WAS A LITTLE LONELY
AND A LITTLE AFRAID
599
00:29:36,505 --> 00:29:41,851
AND... I JUST DID
WHAT I ALWAYS DO--
600
00:29:41,851 --> 00:29:45,214
LET SOME SILLY ROMANTIC FANTASY
TAKE OVER.
601
00:29:46,886 --> 00:29:49,889
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU STILL FELT
THAT WAY ABOUT ME.
602
00:29:51,821 --> 00:29:53,462
I DON'T.
603
00:29:53,462 --> 00:29:55,464
THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.
604
00:29:55,464 --> 00:29:57,426
NOT REALLY.
605
00:29:57,426 --> 00:30:02,131
AND BESIDES, YOU MOVED ON.
606
00:30:02,131 --> 00:30:04,974
WELL, I HAD TO.
607
00:30:04,974 --> 00:30:07,506
YOU PUSHED ME AWAY.
608
00:30:07,506 --> 00:30:11,340
I HAD TO... HEAL MY HEART
AND GET OVER IT.
609
00:30:16,215 --> 00:30:20,549
THIS--I MEAN, THIS IS REALLY
THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO
610
00:30:20,549 --> 00:30:23,092
TO STAY HERE
AND DO YOUR WORK?
611
00:30:23,092 --> 00:30:24,954
YEAH.
612
00:30:34,964 --> 00:30:36,866
I'LL HELP YOU.
613
00:30:36,866 --> 00:30:38,437
REALLY?
614
00:30:38,437 --> 00:30:41,610
YEAH.
(sets flowers down)
615
00:30:41,610 --> 00:30:44,143
I'LL DO IT. BUT THAT'S IT.
616
00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:47,416
NO LOVE, NO SEX, JUST...
617
00:30:47,416 --> 00:30:48,978
MARRIAGE.
618
00:30:48,978 --> 00:30:50,950
NO SEX?
619
00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:55,885
YOU WANT PEOPLE TO THINK THIS
IS A REAL MARRIAGE, DON'T YOU?
620
00:31:03,032 --> 00:31:06,095
(indistinct conversations)
621
00:31:09,598 --> 00:31:11,270
GABY, COME ON.
622
00:31:14,974 --> 00:31:18,147
FOR GOD SAKES, WILL YOU TAKE
THOSE OFF? IT'S 8:00 AT NIGHT.
623
00:31:18,147 --> 00:31:21,150
OH, FINE. AS LONG AS YOU
DON'T MIND PEOPLE THINKING
624
00:31:21,150 --> 00:31:24,083
YOU'RE OUT ON THE TOWN WITH
YOUR ANEMIC LESBIAN SISTER.
625
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:27,056
THERE'S OUR MAN OF HONOR.
(chuckles)
626
00:31:27,056 --> 00:31:29,058
(chuckles)
GABY, THIS IS STEPHANIE.
627
00:31:29,058 --> 00:31:32,121
SHE PUT THIS WHOLE BANQUET
TOGETHER.
HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.
628
00:31:32,121 --> 00:31:35,664
YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING
WHY I LOOK LIKE THIS.
EXCUSE ME?
629
00:31:35,664 --> 00:31:37,666
I'M NOT ILL.
I'M JUST NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP
630
00:31:37,666 --> 00:31:40,669
SO I CAN TEACH MY DAUGHTER THAT
BEAUTY'S WHAT'S ON THE INSIDE.
631
00:31:40,669 --> 00:31:43,272
I DON'T ACTUALLY LOOK
THIS HIDEOUS.
632
00:31:45,004 --> 00:31:46,375
OKAY.
633
00:31:49,979 --> 00:31:52,181
WILL YOU PLEASE
STOP EXPLAINING YOURSELF?
634
00:31:52,181 --> 00:31:55,144
I MEAN, IT WAS BAD ENOUGH
WHEN YOU DID IT WITH THE VALET.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
635
00:31:55,144 --> 00:31:57,947
I DON'T WANT PEOPLE THINKING
I CONDONE THIS FACE.
636
00:31:57,947 --> 00:32:01,620
I'M GONNA GO FIND OUR TABLE.
637
00:32:04,593 --> 00:32:05,995
CHAMPAGNE?
638
00:32:05,995 --> 00:32:07,396
OH, THANK YOU.
639
00:32:07,396 --> 00:32:11,160
I'M NOT ILL. I'M JUST
NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP.
(Carlos) GABY!
640
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:12,661
GOTTA GO.
641
00:32:14,403 --> 00:32:17,967
(party favors honk,
children shouting)
642
00:32:17,967 --> 00:32:20,239
COME ON, GUYS.
NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE.
643
00:32:20,239 --> 00:32:22,271
THESE CANDY APPLES ARE GREAT.
644
00:32:22,271 --> 00:32:24,343
CAN ME AND EVAN
HAVE ANOTHER ONE?
645
00:32:24,343 --> 00:32:26,345
WELL,
I BETTER ASK KATHERINE.
646
00:32:26,345 --> 00:32:27,476
WHERE IS KATHERINE?
647
00:32:31,180 --> 00:32:34,153
HEY.
YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE FUN.
648
00:32:34,153 --> 00:32:36,725
I JUST GOT A CANDIED APPLE
OUT OF A KID'S HAIR.
649
00:32:36,725 --> 00:32:40,289
SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT EVERYTHING
UNDER CONTROL.
650
00:32:40,289 --> 00:32:42,161
NO, COME ON DOWN.
651
00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:44,633
IT'S NOT AS MUCH FUN
WITHOUT YOU.
652
00:32:44,633 --> 00:32:47,396
OKAY.
653
00:32:47,396 --> 00:32:50,469
YOU WERE HONEST WITH ME,
SO I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH YOU.
654
00:32:52,241 --> 00:32:54,243
I GOT SCARED.
655
00:32:56,045 --> 00:32:58,677
OF WHAT?
656
00:32:58,677 --> 00:33:03,682
I WAS HOSTING A PARTY
WITH THIS AMAZING MAN
657
00:33:03,682 --> 00:33:06,355
AND HIS ADORABLE SON,
658
00:33:06,355 --> 00:33:08,357
AND WE WERE LIKE
THE PERFECT FAMILY,
659
00:33:08,357 --> 00:33:10,259
AND THEN I REALIZED...
660
00:33:10,259 --> 00:33:12,091
WE'RE NOT A FAMILY.
661
00:33:12,091 --> 00:33:14,523
IT COULD ALL GO AWAY
IN AN INSTANT.
662
00:33:16,525 --> 00:33:18,627
KATHERINE, I'M NOT LEAVING.
663
00:33:18,627 --> 00:33:21,700
BUT YOU'RE NOT COMMITTING
EITHER.
664
00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:25,334
WHY NOT, MIKE?
665
00:33:25,334 --> 00:33:27,476
IS IT SUSAN?
666
00:33:27,476 --> 00:33:31,040
YOU STILL IN LOVE WITH HER?
667
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,311
NO.
668
00:33:32,311 --> 00:33:34,313
NO, I'VE TOLD YOU THAT.
669
00:33:34,313 --> 00:33:37,416
THEN IT MUST BE ME.
670
00:33:37,416 --> 00:33:42,121
KATHERINE, I LOVE
HAVING YOU IN MY LIFE.
671
00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:44,693
I'M JUST NOT READY.
672
00:33:44,693 --> 00:33:47,326
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO SAY.
673
00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:51,700
I'M NOT TRYING TO GET YOU
TO SAY ANYTHING.
674
00:33:51,700 --> 00:33:55,064
I JUST HAVE
TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
675
00:33:57,666 --> 00:33:59,508
(crash and laughter)
676
00:33:59,508 --> 00:34:05,144
I SHOULD PROBABLY GO MAKE SURE
THE FIRST FLOOR IS STILL THERE.
677
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,482
EXCUSE ME.
THE MAYOR'S ABOUT TO LEAVE,
678
00:34:13,482 --> 00:34:16,455
AND THE NEWSPAPER WANTS A PHOTO
WITH HIM AND YOUR FAMILY.
679
00:34:16,455 --> 00:34:18,457
OH, THAT'S SO SWEET.
(chuckles)
680
00:34:18,457 --> 00:34:22,491
TELL HIM NO WAY IN HELL.
TELL HIM
WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
681
00:34:22,491 --> 00:34:24,463
THE NEWSPAPER? FORGET IT.
682
00:34:24,463 --> 00:34:26,735
GABY, I DO BUSINESS
WITH THE CITY.
683
00:34:26,735 --> 00:34:30,269
I CAN'T JUST BLOW OFF
THE MAYOR.
SERIOUSLY, WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS
TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED.
684
00:34:30,269 --> 00:34:32,271
NEXT TIME
THERE'S AN EPIDEMIC,
685
00:34:32,271 --> 00:34:34,303
PEOPLE ARE GONNA THINK
I'M PATIENT ZERO.
686
00:34:36,175 --> 00:34:38,447
YOU'RE NOT GETTING
OUT OF THIS.
687
00:34:38,447 --> 00:34:40,779
FINE.
688
00:34:40,779 --> 00:34:44,082
BUT JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR, YOU'RE
ALSO LATINO JERK OF THE YEAR.
689
00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:45,814
COME ON. LET'S GO.
690
00:34:45,814 --> 00:34:47,856
OH, CAN I AT LEAST
USE THE BATHROOM FIRST?
691
00:34:47,856 --> 00:34:49,658
(sighs)
692
00:34:51,460 --> 00:34:55,224
LADIES! ATTENTION, PLEASE.
693
00:34:55,224 --> 00:34:59,398
I AM IN A JAM, AND I NEED
LIPSTICK AND EYELINER.
694
00:34:59,398 --> 00:35:02,301
COME ON. CHOP CHOP.
695
00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:04,673
YOU CAN USE MY MAKEUP.
696
00:35:04,673 --> 00:35:08,307
OH, THAT DOESN'T REALLY GO
WITH MY SKIN TONE.
697
00:35:08,307 --> 00:35:10,509
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WE HAVE THE SAME COLORING.
698
00:35:10,509 --> 00:35:13,242
YEAH, IT DOESN'T REALLY GO
WITH YOUR SKIN TONE EITHER,
699
00:35:13,242 --> 00:35:16,345
BUT I CAN ONLY DEAL
WITH ONE DISASTER AT A TIME.
700
00:35:16,345 --> 00:35:18,817
OOH. ASIAN GIRL.
CLOSE ENOUGH.
701
00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:20,719
UM, I DON'T THINK SO.
702
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:24,122
UGH. WAS IT THE "CHOP CHOP"
THING? FINE. I'M SORRY.
703
00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:26,124
NOW CAN I BORROW SOME BLUSH?
704
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:29,258
I DON'T SHARE COSMETICS.
I'M SORT OF A GERM FREAK.
705
00:35:29,258 --> 00:35:33,662
OH, DON'T WORRY.
I'M AS HEALTHY AS A HORSE.
REALLY? YOU LOOK SICK.
706
00:35:33,662 --> 00:35:36,765
THAT'S 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE
ANY MAKEUP!
707
00:35:36,765 --> 00:35:39,508
I SAID NO.
NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.
708
00:35:39,508 --> 00:35:42,241
OKAY, OKAY, LOOK.
I'M SORRY. YOU'RE RIGHT.
709
00:35:42,241 --> 00:35:43,872
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE ASKED.
(gasps)
710
00:35:43,872 --> 00:35:45,474
OH.
711
00:35:45,474 --> 00:35:47,346
OH! HEY!
712
00:35:47,346 --> 00:35:50,319
COME OUT NOW,
OR I'LL CALL SECURITY!
713
00:35:50,319 --> 00:35:53,322
YOU KNOW, FOR A WOMAN WHO HAS
A PURSE FULL OF DINNER ROLLS,
714
00:35:53,322 --> 00:35:56,154
YOU SURE HAVE
A LOT OF ATTITUDE.
715
00:35:57,826 --> 00:36:01,460
OH, GOOD. WE'RE ALL HERE.
716
00:36:01,460 --> 00:36:04,393
BY THE WAY, MRS. SOLIS,
YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY STUNNING.
717
00:36:04,393 --> 00:36:06,495
THANK YOU.
718
00:36:06,495 --> 00:36:09,438
YEAH, MOM. YOU LOOK GREAT.
719
00:36:11,700 --> 00:36:13,872
OKAY, BIG SMILES, EVERYONE.
720
00:36:13,872 --> 00:36:16,345
(camera shutter snaps)
721
00:36:20,879 --> 00:36:22,581
SEE THIS?
722
00:36:22,581 --> 00:36:24,683
MY THIRD ESPRESSO.
(thud)
723
00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:28,217
I'M WIRED. NO WAY
I'M FALLING ASLEEP TONIGHT.
724
00:36:33,792 --> 00:36:35,324
HEY.
725
00:36:35,324 --> 00:36:38,797
HOW ABOUT WE THROW A PIZZA
ON THE FRONT LAWN,
726
00:36:38,797 --> 00:36:40,969
AND WHEN THE KIDS
RUN OUT TO GET IT,
727
00:36:40,969 --> 00:36:44,903
WE LOCK THE DOOR AND DO IT
IN EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE?
728
00:36:48,677 --> 00:36:52,641
TOM, I'M SORRY.
729
00:36:52,641 --> 00:36:54,743
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO SAY.
730
00:36:54,743 --> 00:36:57,816
IF YOU WANNA STAY MAD,
I GUESS YOU'RE GONNA STAY MAD.
731
00:36:57,816 --> 00:37:00,789
(sighs)
732
00:37:00,789 --> 00:37:03,792
I AM NOT MAD, LYNETTE.
733
00:37:03,792 --> 00:37:04,923
THEN WHAT'S WRONG?
734
00:37:04,923 --> 00:37:07,296
YOU'RE GONNA THINK
IT'S STUPID.
735
00:37:07,296 --> 00:37:08,727
TELL ME.
736
00:37:10,859 --> 00:37:12,861
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SEX
737
00:37:12,861 --> 00:37:14,933
HAS BECOME SO IMPORTANT
TO ME LATELY?
738
00:37:14,933 --> 00:37:18,867
BECAUSE YOU ARE
THE ONLY THING IN MY LIFE
739
00:37:18,867 --> 00:37:20,739
THAT I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT.
740
00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:23,912
THAT IS SO SWEET.
741
00:37:23,912 --> 00:37:27,476
NO. NO, IT'S NOT GOOD, LYNETTE--
NOT FOR ME, NOT FOR YOU.
742
00:37:27,476 --> 00:37:28,747
I...
743
00:37:28,747 --> 00:37:32,951
I NEED SOMETHING ELSE
TO BE EXCITED ABOUT.
744
00:37:32,951 --> 00:37:35,954
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DO THIS,
TO TAKE A BREAK AND STAY HOME.
745
00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:40,689
I DID. YOU KNOW, I FIGURED,
THE KIDS ARE GROWN...
746
00:37:40,689 --> 00:37:42,661
I CAN TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE
AND THE ERRANDS,
747
00:37:42,661 --> 00:37:44,893
AND IT'LL BE EASY,
AND IT IS.
748
00:37:44,893 --> 00:37:46,895
IT'S TOO DAMN EASY.
749
00:37:46,895 --> 00:37:49,868
I AM FINISHED WITH MY WORK
BY NOON,
750
00:37:49,868 --> 00:37:52,901
AND THEN I JUST SIT AROUND,
751
00:37:52,901 --> 00:37:55,304
WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME.
752
00:37:55,304 --> 00:37:56,305
SO...
753
00:37:56,305 --> 00:37:58,407
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? HMM?
754
00:37:58,407 --> 00:38:01,910
WHAT ARE YOU
PASSIONATE ABOUT?
755
00:38:01,910 --> 00:38:04,713
I DON'T KNOW.
756
00:38:06,815 --> 00:38:08,817
I'M A MIDDLE-AGED GUY,
757
00:38:08,817 --> 00:38:12,561
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.
758
00:38:15,694 --> 00:38:18,367
I TOLD YOU IT WAS STUPID.
759
00:38:18,367 --> 00:38:20,999
NO.
760
00:38:22,701 --> 00:38:24,773
NO.
761
00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:37,816
HEY.
762
00:38:41,450 --> 00:38:44,793
I KNOW I DISAPPOINTED YOU
TONIGHT, AND I'M REALLY SORRY.
763
00:38:44,793 --> 00:38:47,996
IT'S OKAY.
I KNOW WHY YOU DID IT.
764
00:38:47,996 --> 00:38:50,559
I NEED MAKEUP, TOO.
765
00:38:50,559 --> 00:38:54,032
HONEY, I KNOW
YOU THINK BEING PRETTY
766
00:38:54,032 --> 00:38:56,905
SEEMS LIKE THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW,
767
00:38:56,905 --> 00:38:58,907
BUT BELIEVE ME, IT'S NOT.
768
00:38:58,907 --> 00:39:01,510
YOU WERE A MODEL.
769
00:39:01,510 --> 00:39:03,041
(sighs)
770
00:39:03,041 --> 00:39:07,115
YES, I WAS.
771
00:39:07,115 --> 00:39:09,478
AND MY WHOLE LIFE,
772
00:39:09,478 --> 00:39:11,750
PEOPLE TOLD ME
HOW PRETTY I WAS.
773
00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:13,051
SO YOU KNOW WHAT?
774
00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:16,084
I NEVER THOUGHT
I HAD TO WORK HARD IN SCHOOL
775
00:39:16,084 --> 00:39:18,056
OR WORK ON FRIENDSHIPS
776
00:39:18,056 --> 00:39:21,129
OR MY PERSONALITY--
NONE OF IT.
777
00:39:21,129 --> 00:39:23,131
AND THEN I STOPPED MODELING,
778
00:39:23,131 --> 00:39:26,395
AND I REALIZED I DIDN'T HAVE
MUCH ON THE INSIDE.
779
00:39:26,395 --> 00:39:29,798
AND I DON'T WANT THAT
FOR YOU.
780
00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:36,805
I WANT YOU TO BE BRAVE
AND FUNNY AND CREATIVE...
781
00:39:36,805 --> 00:39:40,449
TO BE MORE
THAN JUST A SHELL.
782
00:39:40,449 --> 00:39:43,512
I WANT YOU TO HAVE
THE WHOLE RICH, GOOEY CENTER.
783
00:39:47,055 --> 00:39:49,558
WILL YOU PROMISE TO DO THAT
FOR YOURSELF?
784
00:39:51,159 --> 00:39:52,721
OKAY.
785
00:39:55,464 --> 00:39:56,825
(kisses)
786
00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:01,029
WHEN DO I GET TO WEAR MAKEUP?
787
00:40:04,503 --> 00:40:06,875
I TELL YOU WHAT.
YOU CAN WEAR MAKEUP
788
00:40:06,875 --> 00:40:09,638
THE DAY YOU REALIZE
YOU DON'T REALLY NEED IT.
789
00:40:22,190 --> 00:40:23,522
HEY.
790
00:40:23,522 --> 00:40:25,524
I BOUGHT M.J.
A FISHING POLE.
791
00:40:25,524 --> 00:40:28,156
I FIGURE I'D TEACH
THE LITTLE GUY HOW TO CAST
792
00:40:28,156 --> 00:40:31,460
BEFORE WE HIT THE WATER.
OH, MY GOD. WE'RE NOT GONNA BE
ABLE TO MAKE IT THIS WEEKEND.
793
00:40:31,460 --> 00:40:34,002
I'M KIND OF...
794
00:40:34,002 --> 00:40:35,864
(sighs)
GETTING MARRIED.
795
00:40:35,864 --> 00:40:38,066
WHAT? (chuckles)
796
00:40:38,066 --> 00:40:39,568
TO WHO?
797
00:40:39,568 --> 00:40:41,209
(Jackson) DAVE WILLIAMS.
798
00:40:41,209 --> 00:40:43,712
I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU
OUT HERE.
799
00:40:43,712 --> 00:40:45,744
JACKSON.
(chuckles)
800
00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:49,077
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WAS
OUT OF THE PICTURE, I'M BACK.
(chuckles)
801
00:40:53,622 --> 00:40:56,124
SINCE YOU HELD UP
YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN,
802
00:40:56,124 --> 00:40:58,126
I'M GOING TO HOLD UP MINE.
803
00:40:58,126 --> 00:41:01,129
I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT YOU
WALK AWAY FROM THIS MARRIAGE
804
00:41:01,129 --> 00:41:03,131
WITH YOUR BUSINESS
AND YOUR ASSETS INTACT.
805
00:41:03,131 --> 00:41:04,633
NOW TO ACCOMPLISH THIS,
806
00:41:04,633 --> 00:41:07,496
I MAY NEED YOU TO LIE,
STONEWALL,
807
00:41:07,496 --> 00:41:10,198
EVEN RESORT
TO SOME OUTRIGHT TRICKERY.
808
00:41:10,198 --> 00:41:12,470
MY QUESTION IS...
809
00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,603
WILL YOU BE UP FOR THAT?
810
00:41:17,806 --> 00:41:21,249
I USED TO THINK OF MYSELF
AS A GOOD PERSON.
811
00:41:21,249 --> 00:41:27,485
IF I HAD A CHOICE, I WOULD
ALWAYS CHOOSE THE HIGH ROAD.
812
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:32,621
LATELY I'VE BEGUN
TO REALIZE THAT, UM...
813
00:41:32,621 --> 00:41:36,224
I'M CAPABLE OF DOING
WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE DONE.
814
00:41:36,224 --> 00:41:38,997
YOU KNOW WHAT
THAT MAKES YOU?
815
00:41:40,599 --> 00:41:42,871
THE PERFECT CLIENT.
816
00:41:42,871 --> 00:41:44,132
(chuckles)
817
00:41:48,837 --> 00:41:50,539
ON THIS STREET,
818
00:41:50,539 --> 00:41:54,182
THE BARGAINING IS FINISHED
BY SUNDOWN...
819
00:41:56,244 --> 00:41:58,817
A DAUGHTER AGREES
TO GO TO BED EARLY
820
00:41:58,817 --> 00:42:03,652
IF HER MOTHER LETS HER DRESS UP
IN HER OLD GOWNS...
821
00:42:03,652 --> 00:42:07,525
A WOMAN AGREES TO LET
HER FIANCé SPEND THE NIGHT
822
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:12,300
IF HE'LL AGREE
TO SLEEP ON THE SOFA...
823
00:42:12,300 --> 00:42:15,764
A MAN ALLOWS HIS LOVER
TO GET CLOSE
824
00:42:15,764 --> 00:42:19,568
AS LONG AS THEY DON'T DISCUSS
THE FUTURE.
825
00:42:21,670 --> 00:42:27,215
YES, EVERYONE KNOWS HOW
TO BARGAIN ON WISTERIA LANE...
826
00:42:27,215 --> 00:42:29,277
HI.
827
00:42:29,277 --> 00:42:31,820
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP
SO LATE?
828
00:42:31,820 --> 00:42:33,952
WELL, I HAVE
A PROPOSITION FOR YOU.
829
00:42:36,054 --> 00:42:38,156
I'LL MAKE YOU BREAKFAST
IN THE MORNING
830
00:42:38,156 --> 00:42:40,629
IF YOU MAKE LOVE TO ME
TONIGHT.
831
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,663
WHY NOT?
832
00:42:46,765 --> 00:42:49,067
BUT SOMETIMES...
833
00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:53,672
THEY GET MORE THAN
THEY BARGAINED FOR.
60320
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