Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,830 --> 00:00:03,795
Previously on Young
Sheldon... You got a roommate?
2
00:00:04,219 --> 00:00:05,219
No, it's a single.
3
00:00:05,379 --> 00:00:06,379
I have a chaperone.
4
00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:07,790
Why do you need a chaperone?
5
00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:10,220
Maybe they think I'm, like,
some kind of troublemaker.
6
00:00:10,419 --> 00:00:12,929
As the owner of the face
you punched, they're right.
7
00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,230
Do you play D&D?
8
00:00:14,429 --> 00:00:16,429
No. I actually just
sit in my dorm room
9
00:00:16,629 --> 00:00:18,300
and study because
I have no friends.
10
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,699
That's a bummer. Yeah.
11
00:00:19,899 --> 00:00:21,300
I think I'm gonna go.
12
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,690
Bye.
13
00:00:24,519 --> 00:00:25,640
You should go after her.
14
00:00:25,839 --> 00:00:29,089
Why? She's a bummer.
You just said so.
15
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,649
Many cultures
throughout the world
16
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,450
relied on percussion
to send messages
17
00:00:35,649 --> 00:00:37,450
across long distances.
18
00:00:37,649 --> 00:00:40,390
For example, the
West African dundun
19
00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:42,189
was used to imitate
human speech...
20
00:00:44,219 --> 00:00:46,460
while I used my fist,
the wall of my dorm,
21
00:00:46,659 --> 00:00:48,859
and Morse code
to send a message.
22
00:00:51,829 --> 00:00:54,979
That's just the letter "H."
What does that mean?
23
00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:57,600
Yeah?
24
00:00:57,799 --> 00:00:59,146
I'm here to talk to
you about your music
25
00:00:59,170 --> 00:01:00,869
and your abysmal
Morse code skills.
26
00:01:01,070 --> 00:01:02,070
What?
27
00:01:02,210 --> 00:01:03,490
Four dots is
just the letter "H."
28
00:01:03,539 --> 00:01:04,909
Was your message "Huh"?
29
00:01:05,109 --> 00:01:06,109
What?
30
00:01:08,230 --> 00:01:09,500
Paige?
31
00:01:10,569 --> 00:01:11,819
Sheldon?
32
00:01:12,019 --> 00:01:13,620
You know him?
33
00:01:13,819 --> 00:01:14,989
Yeah, no, we go way back.
34
00:01:15,189 --> 00:01:16,319
What are you doing here?
35
00:01:16,519 --> 00:01:18,719
Would you believe me if I
told you I was working on
36
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,230
a femtosecond laser in
the engineering department?
37
00:01:21,430 --> 00:01:23,030
Yes. Then that.
38
00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:25,700
You know she's not
old enough to drink beer.
39
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:27,530
I'm not old enough
to drink beer.
40
00:01:27,730 --> 00:01:29,170
Yeah, one second.
41
00:01:29,370 --> 00:01:31,500
Come here.
42
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,316
Did I convince you
that drinking is wrong?
43
00:01:33,340 --> 00:01:34,340
Good for me.
44
00:01:34,439 --> 00:01:35,439
Just leave me alone.
45
00:01:35,569 --> 00:01:37,109
But what are you doing here?
46
00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:38,680
I'm trying to have fun,
47
00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:40,979
and I don't want them to
know how old I am. Why?
48
00:01:41,180 --> 00:01:43,520
Because I want them
to think that I'm cool.
49
00:01:43,719 --> 00:01:45,650
But you're smart.
What's cooler than that?
50
00:01:45,849 --> 00:01:47,319
Just go away.
51
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,289
Hey, we're fixing to play
some beer-pong. You in?
52
00:01:50,490 --> 00:01:51,719
You should know, she is not...
53
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,689
Not had dinner. I have
not had dinner yet, so
54
00:01:53,890 --> 00:01:55,170
we are going to
go get some food.
55
00:01:55,329 --> 00:01:56,400
We are?
56
00:01:56,599 --> 00:01:57,829
Do you have cash? Of course.
57
00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,270
I always have an emergency 20,
58
00:01:59,469 --> 00:02:00,909
plus four quarters
for the telephone.
59
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,599
21 bucks? Okay, you're buying.
60
00:02:02,799 --> 00:02:04,200
We're going the wrong way.
61
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,359
Okay, well, I'm drunk. You lead.
62
00:02:25,139 --> 00:02:26,289
Here, take a look at this.
63
00:02:26,490 --> 00:02:28,490
Does this look like tuna to you?
64
00:02:30,259 --> 00:02:31,829
What am I watching?
65
00:02:32,030 --> 00:02:33,770
It's called Dinosaurs.
66
00:02:33,969 --> 00:02:37,240
It's like The Flintstones,
only with dinosaurs. Come on.
67
00:02:37,439 --> 00:02:38,569
Well, that's dumb.
68
00:02:38,770 --> 00:02:40,969
Well, they talk, he's
got a job. It's fun.
69
00:02:41,170 --> 00:02:44,110
Wasn't The Flintstones
just The Honeymooners?
70
00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:46,810
Huh, I never even
thought about that.
71
00:02:47,009 --> 00:02:49,050
Well, see, you just
kind of ruined it for me.
72
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:50,250
Good.
73
00:02:50,449 --> 00:02:51,719
Hey.
74
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,849
Please tell me you
brought some movies home.
75
00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:56,789
Tootsie. Ooh, thank you.
76
00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:58,036
Really? We're
supposed to believe
77
00:02:58,060 --> 00:02:59,460
Dustin Hoffman is a woman?
78
00:02:59,659 --> 00:03:01,979
But we believe
talking dinosaurs?
79
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,659
Okay, I'll leave you to it.
80
00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:06,400
Little late to start a movie.
81
00:03:06,599 --> 00:03:07,599
It's 8:00.
82
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,069
We're saying the same thing.
83
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:10,340
So, you want to go home?
84
00:03:10,539 --> 00:03:12,939
Well, I don't know. I
stayed here last night.
85
00:03:13,139 --> 00:03:14,270
So?
86
00:03:14,469 --> 00:03:15,770
So, two nights in a row.
87
00:03:15,969 --> 00:03:18,009
At what point are
we living together?
88
00:03:18,210 --> 00:03:19,550
Fine. Go home.
89
00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:22,879
Oh, I'm okay with staying.
You're the independent one.
90
00:03:23,079 --> 00:03:25,780
If you want to stay,
stay. If you want to go, go.
91
00:03:25,979 --> 00:03:29,560
Fine. I'll stay if
you're gonna beg.
92
00:03:29,759 --> 00:03:31,490
And this isn't what I wanted.
93
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,250
Are you still inebriated,
or can we have
94
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,960
an intelligent conversation?
95
00:03:35,159 --> 00:03:37,129
Both.
96
00:03:37,329 --> 00:03:39,930
You do realize that
alcohol kills brain cells.
97
00:03:40,129 --> 00:03:42,199
Ah, but it also
makes life tolerable.
98
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,639
What do you mean?
99
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,276
Well, talking to you
is usually annoying.
100
00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,539
So you're what's called
a mean drunk. Noted.
101
00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:48,909
I'm messing with you.
102
00:03:49,110 --> 00:03:50,710
It's just, sometimes life sucks,
103
00:03:50,909 --> 00:03:52,650
and it's easier
not to deal with it.
104
00:03:52,849 --> 00:03:54,780
Could you be more specific?
105
00:03:54,979 --> 00:03:59,150
Um... well, I have no friends,
106
00:03:59,349 --> 00:04:02,090
I don't fit in anywhere,
and I dropped out of college
107
00:04:02,289 --> 00:04:03,659
but I'm too young to get a job,
108
00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:07,639
so killing brain
cells makes it easier.
109
00:04:08,409 --> 00:04:09,699
Huh.
110
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:13,650
Go ahead, smart guy, fix me.
111
00:04:14,419 --> 00:04:15,729
Mm.
112
00:04:15,930 --> 00:04:17,300
Well, give me a minute.
113
00:04:22,269 --> 00:04:26,009
Well, how do they not
see that's Dustin Hoffman?
114
00:04:26,209 --> 00:04:27,410
I buy it.
115
00:04:27,610 --> 00:04:29,620
So if I put on a
wig and lipstick,
116
00:04:29,819 --> 00:04:30,920
you'd think I was a chick?
117
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,350
Only one way to find out.
118
00:04:33,550 --> 00:04:35,689
Nice try.
119
00:04:35,889 --> 00:04:38,370
You do have some
pretty nice legs, though.
120
00:04:40,810 --> 00:04:43,259
Well, if you want, we
could pause the movie,
121
00:04:43,459 --> 00:04:46,129
and I'll let you touch 'em.
122
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,269
Lucky me.
123
00:04:48,470 --> 00:04:51,300
So I'm assuming you haven't
taken the DARE pledge.
124
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,610
The what?
125
00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:54,009
DARE. It's an acronym.
126
00:04:54,209 --> 00:04:56,170
It stands for Drug Abuse
Resistance Education.
127
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,279
It's not too late.
You can take it now.
128
00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,550
I promise not to do
drugs, to avoid violence,
129
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:04,350
to be responsible, and to
make responsible choices.
130
00:05:04,550 --> 00:05:06,120
Now you say it.
131
00:05:06,319 --> 00:05:07,490
No.
132
00:05:07,689 --> 00:05:08,850
I dare you.
133
00:05:09,050 --> 00:05:10,189
Clever, right?
134
00:05:10,389 --> 00:05:11,896
Because I still have
all my brain cells.
135
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,110
Sheldon, just eat your pizza.
136
00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:19,259
Hey. You guys going to a party?
137
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:20,600
Uh, Gamma Kappa house.
138
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,170
Cool.
139
00:05:22,370 --> 00:05:24,500
Mm, you know, Officer
McDaniel was in charge
140
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,139
of our DARE program.
141
00:05:26,339 --> 00:05:28,769
One time, he even brought
in his drug-sniffing dog Alfie.
142
00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:30,810
Which I didn't care for,
but it was nice to see
143
00:05:30,879 --> 00:05:32,639
a dog gainfully employed
and off the streets.
144
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,550
Really? You're gonna
leave your socks on?
145
00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:37,879
My feet get cold.
146
00:05:38,079 --> 00:05:40,149
- Take 'em off.
- What do you care?
147
00:05:40,350 --> 00:05:42,149
It feels like a lack
of commitment.
148
00:05:42,350 --> 00:05:44,590
Aw, fine.
149
00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:46,959
When was the last time
you cut your toenails?
150
00:05:47,159 --> 00:05:48,290
I don't know.
151
00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:49,829
Seriously, you
look like something
152
00:05:50,029 --> 00:05:51,790
that could swoop down
and pick up a squirrel.
153
00:05:53,699 --> 00:05:55,800
Look who's here. Come on in.
154
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,500
Thanks.
155
00:05:57,699 --> 00:05:58,800
Everything okay?
156
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,709
Mind if I hang
out here with y'all?
157
00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:01,970
Come on, mama.
158
00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:04,040
Need a break from Connie?
159
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:09,149
I'm just trying to give her
and Dale some privacy.
160
00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:11,120
Gross. Oh.
161
00:06:11,319 --> 00:06:12,800
What?
162
00:06:13,569 --> 00:06:16,250
Oh, nasty.
163
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:17,259
Wait, sex, right?
164
00:06:17,459 --> 00:06:18,259
Yeah.
165
00:06:18,459 --> 00:06:19,860
Missy's at a sleepover
166
00:06:20,060 --> 00:06:21,529
if you want to use her room.
167
00:06:21,730 --> 00:06:23,160
I might take you up on that.
168
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,009
You'll be safe here.
They never do anything.
169
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,340
What are we doing here?
170
00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:34,209
It's a party, Sheldon.
171
00:06:34,409 --> 00:06:36,680
But we weren't invited.
I didn't bring a gift.
172
00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:38,939
Then go home.
173
00:06:39,139 --> 00:06:41,110
Wait, this is dangerous.
174
00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:43,550
There I stood, the classic hero
175
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:45,379
outside the dragon's cave.
176
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:48,550
Should I risk life and
limb to save the maiden?
177
00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:50,519
My every instinct said no.
178
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,829
But I drank a lot of root beer
and really had to go pee-pee.
179
00:07:07,089 --> 00:07:09,410
Hell does exist.
180
00:07:09,610 --> 00:07:13,560
Excuse me. Where's
the nearest restroom?
181
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,949
Hey, look, Pee-wee
Herman's at our party!
182
00:07:17,149 --> 00:07:20,819
Pee-wee! Pee-wee! Pee-wee!
183
00:07:21,019 --> 00:07:22,350
Pee-wee! Pee-wee!
184
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:23,889
The hell continues.
185
00:07:24,089 --> 00:07:25,290
Pee-wee! Pee-wee!
186
00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:32,699
Oh, thank goodness.
187
00:07:32,899 --> 00:07:33,500
Come on!
188
00:07:33,699 --> 00:07:36,490
Hey, there's a line.
189
00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:42,529
Oh, boy. New hell.
190
00:07:44,829 --> 00:07:46,180
What?!
191
00:07:46,379 --> 00:07:48,509
What?! Charley
horse. Charley horse.
192
00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:50,319
- What-what do I do?
- I don't know.
193
00:07:50,519 --> 00:07:52,649
Here, rub it, rub it, rub it.
194
00:07:52,850 --> 00:07:54,725
That's kind of how this
whole thing got started.
195
00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:56,250
That's not funny. Mm-hmm.
196
00:07:56,449 --> 00:07:58,139
You'll laugh later.
197
00:07:58,939 --> 00:08:00,430
Rub harder. Harder.
198
00:08:00,629 --> 00:08:01,766
I'm rubbing as hard as I can.
199
00:08:01,790 --> 00:08:03,399
Well, use your elbow.
200
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,660
All right.
201
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,129
I don't need my toothbrush.
202
00:08:06,329 --> 00:08:07,500
You like that?
203
00:08:07,699 --> 00:08:10,000
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
204
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:12,670
This night of depravity
had reduced me
205
00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:15,170
to urinating on a tree
like a forest animal.
206
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,579
How much worse could it get?
207
00:08:16,779 --> 00:08:18,410
Hey, Pee-wee's back!
208
00:08:18,610 --> 00:08:21,850
Pee-wee! Pee-wee! Pee-wee!
209
00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:23,529
Pee-wee!
210
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:25,519
Excuse me.
211
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:26,790
I'm looking for my friend.
212
00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:29,290
Blonde girl, about
a meter and a half.
213
00:08:35,889 --> 00:08:38,159
Excuse me. I'm looking for...
214
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,970
Missy? Sheldon?
215
00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:41,269
What are you doing here?
216
00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:42,470
What are you doing here?
217
00:08:42,570 --> 00:08:43,850
Do Mom and Dad know you're here?
218
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,299
Do Mom and Dad know you're here?
219
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,639
Okay, stop. You go first.
220
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,610
Heather's sister
goes to school here.
221
00:08:48,809 --> 00:08:51,179
She invited us. Now you.
222
00:08:51,379 --> 00:08:52,909
I'm looking after Paige.
223
00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:54,850
Where is she?
224
00:08:55,049 --> 00:08:58,100
Well, I didn't say I
was doing a great job.
225
00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:01,120
Where's your toothbrush?
226
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:02,620
I don't want to talk about it.
227
00:09:04,659 --> 00:09:07,629
Who the hell calls at this hour?
228
00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:09,259
Hello.
229
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:10,730
Oh, hi.
230
00:09:10,929 --> 00:09:12,360
Everything okay? Who is it?
231
00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:14,629
Heather's mom. Oh.
Is everything okay?
232
00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:17,500
You just heard me
ask. Wh-What's up?
233
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:20,759
No, Heather's not here.
They're at your house.
234
00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:23,809
Huh. What?
235
00:09:24,009 --> 00:09:26,340
Heather told her mom
she was staying here.
236
00:09:26,539 --> 00:09:28,629
Classic.
237
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,649
Paige is drunk?
238
00:09:32,850 --> 00:09:34,590
And high on what
Officer McDaniel's called
239
00:09:34,789 --> 00:09:36,990
Mary Jane, reefer and ganja.
240
00:09:37,190 --> 00:09:38,389
Is she okay? No.
241
00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:39,789
She said her life is terrible.
242
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,830
What? Her life is terrible.
243
00:09:43,029 --> 00:09:44,029
What?
244
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,019
Her life is terrible.
245
00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:02,379
How's your sex cramp, old man?
246
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:04,379
Athletes get
cramps all the time.
247
00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:07,519
It comes from
dehydration, overexertion.
248
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:08,990
I'll give you the dehydration,
249
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:11,789
but I didn't see any
overexertion, though.
250
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:13,190
Why, Connie?
251
00:10:13,389 --> 00:10:14,929
'Cause it's fun.
252
00:10:15,129 --> 00:10:16,706
Well, just give me a
minute, I'll be ready.
253
00:10:16,730 --> 00:10:18,059
Why don't we
just call it a night
254
00:10:18,259 --> 00:10:19,259
and get some sleep?
255
00:10:19,429 --> 00:10:22,600
That's fine by me,
but just to be clear,
256
00:10:22,799 --> 00:10:24,940
you're calling it, not me. Yep.
257
00:10:25,139 --> 00:10:27,139
I'm good to go.
I'm sure you are.
258
00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:29,070
Yep.
259
00:10:29,269 --> 00:10:31,929
Damn tootin'.
260
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,525
I don't know if it's any
help, but when I was her age
261
00:10:35,549 --> 00:10:37,549
and pulled this, it was
just to go to a party.
262
00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:38,980
Oh, great.
263
00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:40,750
So she's at a party,
who knows where.
264
00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:41,950
You know what?
265
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,919
I'm gonna go find her. How?
266
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,865
I don't know. I'm just...
I'm gonna drive around
267
00:10:45,889 --> 00:10:47,960
till I hear some
carousing. I'll go with you.
268
00:10:48,159 --> 00:10:50,360
Will you both just
stop for a minute?
269
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:52,919
There's nothing to do but wait.
270
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:56,080
Fine.
271
00:10:58,590 --> 00:11:00,110
Nope. Georgie, let's go.
272
00:11:00,309 --> 00:11:01,745
Let's check out that
creek in the woods
273
00:11:01,769 --> 00:11:02,816
where they found
the headless body.
274
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:03,980
Will you shut up.
275
00:11:04,179 --> 00:11:06,039
Now what do we do?
276
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,450
We can't just leave.
Paige is still in there.
277
00:11:08,649 --> 00:11:10,049
Maybe we should call Mom.
278
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:12,450
I do have four quarters
for that exact reason.
279
00:11:12,649 --> 00:11:14,240
Paige?
280
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,620
Wait!
281
00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:18,320
What are you doing?
282
00:11:18,519 --> 00:11:22,330
Well, this is Bradley, and
we're going to another party.
283
00:11:22,529 --> 00:11:24,059
Another party? It's 9:30.
284
00:11:24,259 --> 00:11:26,580
Bradley, do you
know how old she is?
285
00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:29,330
She said she was 18.
286
00:11:29,529 --> 00:11:30,799
Lower.
287
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,340
Sixteen?
288
00:11:32,539 --> 00:11:33,610
Lower.
289
00:11:33,809 --> 00:11:35,690
Okay, I got to go.
290
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,100
Thanks a lot.
291
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,379
Come on.
292
00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:45,169
We're running again?
293
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:48,139
We just ran.
294
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,429
I'll tell you what.
295
00:11:58,629 --> 00:12:00,429
My daughter's never
gonna put me through this.
296
00:12:00,529 --> 00:12:02,370
Oh, really? How you figure?
297
00:12:02,570 --> 00:12:05,340
I'm gonna run a tight ship. Set
some rules, some boundaries.
298
00:12:05,539 --> 00:12:07,139
If she breaks them,
then she faces the...
299
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,139
Oh, what do you call
it? Repercussions.
300
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,830
Why you smiling?
301
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,649
I just can't wait
till you're a dad.
302
00:12:16,850 --> 00:12:18,600
Thank you.
303
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,090
"Repercussions."
304
00:12:21,289 --> 00:12:22,789
It's a word. Look it up.
305
00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:25,690
Hurry!
306
00:12:25,889 --> 00:12:27,690
This is as fast as I can
go in sensible shoes.
307
00:12:30,159 --> 00:12:32,029
You okay? No.
308
00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:33,500
Oh, dear. What?
309
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,629
I'm going to have the
mother of all blisters.
310
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,700
I'm worried about
you. Thank you.
311
00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:40,909
Well, don't be.
312
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:42,639
I'm having fun. You're drunk
313
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,786
and you were about to get
in the car with some stranger.
314
00:12:44,809 --> 00:12:47,610
So? He was cute.
What's wrong with you?
315
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,970
You're smarter than Sheldon.
Why don't you act like it?
316
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,879
Um... I am.
317
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,519
If that was true, then how come
my pizza's still in my stomach
318
00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:55,710
and yours is in the fountain?
319
00:12:57,519 --> 00:12:59,389
What good is being
smart if you're all alone?
320
00:12:59,590 --> 00:13:02,159
Let's go to Sheldon's so
I can get you cleaned up.
321
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,159
Thanks.
322
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,100
Just so you know,
you're not alone.
323
00:13:06,299 --> 00:13:07,470
You've got me.
324
00:13:07,669 --> 00:13:09,590
I thought we were trying
to make her feel better.
325
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:13,086
I'll tell you another idea I
have for keeping my kid in line.
326
00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:14,909
Oh, can't wait. I seen
this show where they put
327
00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:16,909
these electric trackers
on these dolphins.
328
00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:19,580
And with satellites, they can
tell exactly where they are.
329
00:13:19,779 --> 00:13:20,980
Dolphins?
330
00:13:21,179 --> 00:13:22,279
Go on.
331
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:23,625
I'm gonna stick one
of them things in my kid
332
00:13:23,649 --> 00:13:24,850
so I always know where she is.
333
00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,659
So you're gonna keep
track of your daughter
334
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:27,850
like she's an animal.
335
00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:29,539
Damn straight.
336
00:13:31,539 --> 00:13:33,580
Actually a really good idea.
337
00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,259
Missy's a good kid.
I'm sure she's okay.
338
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,269
I was a good kid.
339
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:44,039
Didn't stop me from
getting into trouble.
340
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,269
Me, too.
341
00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,419
One time, I was
at this party and...
342
00:13:48,289 --> 00:13:49,809
Actually, never mind.
343
00:13:50,009 --> 00:13:52,259
The important
thing is we survived.
344
00:13:53,029 --> 00:13:54,080
Yes, we did.
345
00:13:55,950 --> 00:13:58,190
You just want your children
to have an easier time of it.
346
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,850
Easier.
347
00:14:00,049 --> 00:14:03,309
My baby's gonna have a broke
single mom and a teenage dad.
348
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:05,690
Mm-hmm.
349
00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:07,529
Let me get you some more tea.
350
00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:09,259
Okay.
351
00:14:09,460 --> 00:14:11,529
You know what else is nice? Hmm?
352
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:14,169
I get to learn from all
your parenting mistakes.
353
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:15,570
I'm starting to think
354
00:14:15,769 --> 00:14:17,409
letting you live this
long was one of 'em.
355
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,570
Like that. I'd never say
something so awful to my kid.
356
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:24,059
Thanks, big guy.
357
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:28,179
You awake?
358
00:14:28,379 --> 00:14:30,429
Mm-hmm.
359
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,320
I've been thinking.
360
00:14:35,519 --> 00:14:37,990
We don't have to spend
every night together.
361
00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:39,659
Wow.
362
00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:42,460
You're preaching to
the choir there, Connie.
363
00:14:42,659 --> 00:14:44,230
I've been lying awake
here for an hour,
364
00:14:44,429 --> 00:14:46,360
wishing I were back
home in my own bed.
365
00:14:46,559 --> 00:14:47,600
Really?
366
00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:49,470
Everything's the
way I like it there.
367
00:14:49,669 --> 00:14:51,100
Got a TV in the bedroom
368
00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:53,470
and leave the seat
up on the toilet.
369
00:14:53,669 --> 00:14:56,409
And thermostat's not
set to storing meat.
370
00:14:56,610 --> 00:14:58,409
I did turn the
toilet paper around
371
00:14:58,610 --> 00:15:00,850
so it comes over
the top like you like it.
372
00:15:01,049 --> 00:15:02,049
Like the world likes it.
373
00:15:02,210 --> 00:15:04,350
Don't start on this again.
374
00:15:04,549 --> 00:15:06,250
Hee-hee.
375
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:07,950
So, we got a plan?
376
00:15:08,149 --> 00:15:09,220
We got a plan.
377
00:15:09,419 --> 00:15:10,909
Mm.
378
00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:16,960
So I'll spend tomorrow
night at my place.
379
00:15:17,159 --> 00:15:18,159
Yep.
380
00:15:18,299 --> 00:15:20,019
Oh, thank God.
381
00:15:22,519 --> 00:15:23,769
Where you going?
382
00:15:23,970 --> 00:15:26,840
Think I might have
to crank up the AC.
383
00:15:27,039 --> 00:15:28,639
'Cause I said "thank God"?
384
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,759
No fooling you.
385
00:15:33,629 --> 00:15:34,909
Okay, she's asleep.
386
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:37,379
I put a trash can by the
bed in case she gets sick.
387
00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:39,149
Where am I supposed to sleep?
388
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:40,419
On the floor.
389
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:41,895
Why can't she
sleep on the floor?
390
00:15:41,919 --> 00:15:43,196
She doesn't even
know where she is.
391
00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:44,559
I don't have time for this.
392
00:15:44,759 --> 00:15:46,066
I have to find Heather
before I lose my ride home.
393
00:15:46,090 --> 00:15:47,690
Fine. But first,
394
00:15:47,889 --> 00:15:49,135
we have to get
our story straight
395
00:15:49,159 --> 00:15:50,360
about where I was tonight.
396
00:15:50,559 --> 00:15:52,200
There's only one
story, and it's straight:
397
00:15:52,259 --> 00:15:53,070
you were here.
398
00:15:53,269 --> 00:15:55,399
No, I wasn't.
399
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,669
I was at Heather's,
and you didn't see me.
400
00:15:57,870 --> 00:15:59,500
Got it? First I have
to sleep on the floor
401
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:00,940
and now I have to lie for you?
402
00:16:01,139 --> 00:16:02,309
How 'bout this?
403
00:16:02,509 --> 00:16:04,389
Work with me, and I
will officially owe you one.
404
00:16:04,539 --> 00:16:05,539
One what?
405
00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:07,279
I don't know. One anything.
406
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,879
"Anything" is awfully vague.
407
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,995
What say we draw up a
contract or... Sheldon, you went
408
00:16:11,019 --> 00:16:13,125
to a frat party; now there's
a drunk girl in your bed.
409
00:16:13,149 --> 00:16:15,365
That's the coolest college
story you'll ever get to tell.
410
00:16:15,389 --> 00:16:16,389
So I can tell Mom.
411
00:16:16,490 --> 00:16:18,220
No. Someday.
412
00:16:18,419 --> 00:16:19,720
When?
413
00:16:19,919 --> 00:16:21,840
Someday when we're old
and we can laugh about it.
414
00:16:22,029 --> 00:16:23,230
I got to go.
415
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:26,100
30 years later,
416
00:16:26,299 --> 00:16:28,070
still not laughing.
417
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,669
What are you doing out here?
418
00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:35,370
It's the middle of the night.
419
00:16:35,570 --> 00:16:38,809
I can't sleep not
knowing where she is.
420
00:16:39,009 --> 00:16:40,559
Yeah.
421
00:16:46,299 --> 00:16:48,220
So we're on the same page,
when she does show up,
422
00:16:48,419 --> 00:16:49,720
I'm gonna kill her.
423
00:16:49,919 --> 00:16:52,120
You're gonna have
to beat me to it.
424
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,860
Not saying I love her the most,
425
00:16:54,059 --> 00:16:55,840
but if anything
happened to Missy...
426
00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:59,200
She is your little girl.
427
00:16:59,399 --> 00:17:00,700
Not so little anymore.
428
00:17:00,899 --> 00:17:01,500
Hmm.
429
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:03,799
And I hate it.
430
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,369
Well, pretty soon, you're
gonna have a granddaughter.
431
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,009
Start all over again.
432
00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:14,000
You know, I had an idea.
433
00:17:14,759 --> 00:17:17,349
I'm gonna put a tracker on
her, like they do with dolphins.
434
00:17:17,549 --> 00:17:19,680
You're making
that up. No, it's true.
435
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,720
Yeah, wherever she goes...
436
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,920
Timbuktu, doesn't matter...
437
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:25,119
We're there.
438
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,170
I'm home!
439
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,440
Hey.
440
00:17:43,579 --> 00:17:44,880
Hey to you.
441
00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:46,380
How was Heather's?
442
00:17:46,579 --> 00:17:47,579
Uh, fun.
443
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:48,549
Pizza, movies...
444
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:50,220
The usual.
445
00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:51,779
You look tired.
446
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:54,089
I didn't sleep too well.
447
00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:56,150
Oh. Sorry.
448
00:17:56,349 --> 00:17:58,569
Well, I'm gonna go to my room.
449
00:17:59,569 --> 00:18:00,930
What happened to killing her?
450
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:03,029
I'll get to it.
451
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:05,480
Just so relieved she's okay.
452
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,599
Okay, I'm good. Missy!
453
00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,589
Wait for me!
454
00:18:19,029 --> 00:18:21,650
Captioning sponsored by
455
00:18:24,619 --> 00:18:26,980
and TOYOTA.
456
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:30,140
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
30878
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof