Original subtitles

Yeah!

I KEPT MY PROMISE FROM FIVE YEARS AGO.

COME AND SEE FOR YOURSELF! SUEN MEIMEI

I'm sorry.

Pickpocket!

Let go of me! She stole my wallet!

I saw you groping her! You're under arrest for molestation!

What the heck is she talking about?

I'll take over.

Check his identity with Immigration.

Be careful, he's here for sexual assault.

Let me go!

I'm a Korean born Chinese.

We can speak Cantonese. Why did you come here?

Like everyone else in Hong Kong,

I'm here for only one reason.

Plastic surgery!

You definitely need it!

Hey!

What do you do for a living? What's your background?

They'll soon find out what I have done.

And they'd never believe...

that I came to attend a ceremony,

and what happened to me...

five years ago.

Who left those hand prints on the wall?

I did.

What for?

To scare him!

Scared?

Totally!

I'm afraid the cops will trace them to you!

Ring the doorbell.

Boss, no one is in!

No? Let's split!

We're leaving?

Then...

I'll go press the elevator!

Stop hiding, show yourself!

Mind if I take a breath,

Mr. Triad?

I'm not from the triad.

Cracks me up every time he says that.

Stop it! You're making me laugh too!

-This is so embarrassing! -I have no words.

We're from Shark's Collection Agency.

Banks hire us to collect bad debts.

We're totally legal.

Your outstanding balance is... $3.97 million!

So where's the dough?

You must be kidding.

I'd pay if I had the money. Do you think I'm having fun?

Gonna be tough, right?

What about your creditors? It's tough on them, too.

No, listen,

I'm in this mess because I have a dream.

I want to make my dream come true,

that's why I'm in debt. Do you know how important that is, don't you?

Nice try! But don't try to sneak out! Go back in there!

A dream!

-That's a joke! -Totally insane!

What a lame excuse!

-How embarrassing! -It's outrageous!

Even those who hit rock bottom are worth something.

So people like us will take whatever is left.

Here's your way out,

-I'll give you time to think it over. -I just remembered...

Gentlemen, my newest and hottest models!

Contractually,

I only need to put them up. I don't pay them salaries.

And the best thing is

you don't need to do anything

to get your commission!

What a way to earn a living!

They're nothing special, boss!

They might come in handy,

as gifts...

or...

for our own pleasure!

I was told you were very talented. That's why I agreed to take you over.

I think it's about time you show me what you've got.

I'm Dodo, good at ping pong!

Oops!

I'm Winky, I'll play the erhu.

-I'm so sorry-- -It's all right.

I'm Marilyn, I can mimic a dog's bark.

Even dogs can't tell the difference. A happy dog...

A sad dog...

Can you do cats?

-Shit! -I'm River, good at acting.

Show me!

But only with a good script, and Nicholas Tse.

Why Nicholas Tse?

As a newcomer, I shouldn't aim too high.

But I think he's all right.

-Blimey! My head hurts like hell! -My name is Mona.

I'm a soprano.

Soprano?

Save your high notes, a lower pitch is good enough.

My name is Flora.

I'm a great belly dancer.

What do you think?

How the heck would I know?

I'm Nancy.

Actually, I'm rich.

But I want to be a star. My specialty is somersaults!

Are you all right?

I'm Peggy. I can burp over 100 times!

-Outrageous! You call that a talent? -Stop laughing!

Tape that and share it on social media!

Great, keep on burping!

Want to collect bad debts for me?

I want to act!

-Oh, okay. -I'm Keung,

and I'm this bastard's girlfriend.

What are you doing here, darling?

Why are you shaking?

Did I stumble upon your infidelity?

When we were collecting a debt,

we accidentally

-collected these girls. -No, I accidentally took over

a proper and genuine model agency.

Yes, an accidentally proper and--

What monkey business are you up to?

It's totally business! As for women, I've already got you full-time!

No business, no women!

You're so hot and sexy, what if they all fall for you?

-Get rid of them! -Wait! Right!

I'm indeed hot.

And sexy.

But a man does not tolerate

a meddling woman.

I'll keep the business and the girls. What can you do about it?

I don't know what got into him today. Please don't break up with him!

-Who said anything about breaking up? -Maybe we should!

You're such an idiot!

Please don't be mad with the boss! He hasn't messed with the girls, yet.

It's the truth!

Beefy!

Have you seen my baseball bat?

-Why? To knock her head off? -No, I want to hit you with it.

-I'll woo her back for you! -I'll kill you myself, you're useless!

Honey, you threatened to break up with me

in front of the lads and my new staff.

If I didn't put on a show,

-how could I run this business? -You have a point.

Do you still love me?

Love you madly!

I want you to say

"I love you, baby." Say it!

It's late.

Will you say it or not?

I love you, baby!

Give me a kiss!

Now?

Yes, right now!

Why aren't you in bed? You're all perverts!

Yes, Mr. Producer. This is Suen Meimei.

I just want to remind you,

J-Dragon's nine-hour workday

starts from the moment he leaves home to the minute he comes back.

Yes, $500,000 for each additional minute.

So you'd better hurry!

Mr. J-Dragon!

For the next shot, a dozen bad guys

run after you! And then,

they chase, chase, chase.

Camera tracks after you. It slowly follows you.

Then suddenly you stop.

Then you look down,

you see a banana peel. And, as cool as you can manage,

you dodge and run! Then you lash out and kick it to the back!

two bad guys fall down!

The rest soon catch up!

Next, you see a...

mango peel! Again, in your coolest way,

you dodge it.

After that, you see a BBQ grill.

Now your back's on fire!

But you're calm. You have no fear!

You see two buildings.

Both very tall and you jump!

Super, super calm. That's all!

Suen,

what was he on about?

He said...

The camera zooms in on your legs.

You keep on running.

Then a second camera will track after you. Suddenly you stop!

You see a banana peel!

And you dodge it and kick it to the back!

You see two bad guys go down.

But the others are catching up.

You're unintimidated.

Then you see a mango peel!

You dodge and dodge!

Then you come up

to a BBQ grill. Your back catches fire,

but you remain calm.

Brave and calm. Then you see up ahead

two really, really tall buildings.

But you're not scared.

You stay very calm. And you jump off!

That's it!

Yes,

only when it comes from you.

As an artist manager,

your Putonghua is awesome!

Excellent!

The action sequence you just described, JD won't do any of it!

-Find me a stunt double! -Hold on.

JD never uses a double. Figure out something else!

Roll the camera! Ready...

Light him up!

-Hey, Piggy! It's too hot! -Action!

You're up! I need that for the making-of.

Use that in the end.

Don't forget your vitamins and muscle formula. Be in bed by 11.

We leave at seven for the airport.

-Where are we going? -Venice Film Festival, remember?

Oh,

right!

Where's my passport?

I have it with me.

It's Linda, the make-up girl!

Wow!

Slut!

Come on, pick up!

It's that bitch again?

She's worse than my mom.

I need a shower.

Sure!

Miss Lai, this is...

Dr. Tse's gynecology clinic.

It's been three weeks

since your last visit.

Remember syphilis

is highly contagious!

If possible,

ask all your partners

to seek medical assistance. Thank you.

...REMEMBER SYPHILIS IS HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS...

Girls! Listen!

These are all VIPs! Okay?

Gentlemen,

they're from my new agency. All stars of the future!

-Sit right here. -You said you have jobs for us.

If you make them happy,

they'll let us collect their debts. Then we'll all have jobs! Be nice.

My dear Bosses,

our artists can do anything.

They've got abundant skills to thrill, and are carefree, too.

Well then,

-Let's get started! -These assholes are having a great time.

I knew we can make a fortune out of them.

Nice to meet you.

I'm so delighted!

Why the goose pimples?

Cold?

Let me warm you up!

I'm Gibson, made my fortune from I.T.

I'll stab myself if you come any closer!

Blimey! Cutting to the chase!

You're a newcomer?

And you?

Ouch, you're hurting me!

Treat this as an honor!

Peter doesn't pinch just anyone!

No pain, no gain!

-I dropped something down there. -What?

My senses.

Oh yeah?

He lost his senses? Let me check.

I can't see anything.

-Bro, where's your cleavage? -Me? I don't have any.

-Of course you don't! -That's right.

But she does!

Stop playing games, Mak!

You want money? That's easy!

One thousand dollars for a kiss, $5,000 for a French kiss!

Normally, $5,000 can get us in bed.

You want a commission? Fine! I'll give her more! You're on first!

-Listen to me, I'm rich! -Quit play-acting! You're broke!

Mak! Get your ass over here!

Yes, boss?

What kind of bullshit is this?

Drink it!

-I'll drink it for you. -Who the hell are you?

Get lost!

He's right. Get the hell out!

You should've told me

that you're spastic. Now you doused someone!

Hell yes!

How about...

another toast?

He didn't do it on purpose!

Enough! We're not prostitutes!

Then what are you?

You barely pass as prostitutes! Stars? In your dreams!

Mak, you're good at collecting debts. But you suck big time as a pimp!

Let's go!

Boss?

Just look at you, scumbag!

Artiste manager? You're having a laugh!

Don't be mad, Ben!

Come on, asshole!

Boss.

We can't afford to piss them off!

We can still make peace.

Listen to me!

I will make stars of you all! Mark my word!

It's an honor to have Mr. J-Dragon

to act as official spokesperson for One Stroke Golf Club.

And now, let's invite on stage our Chairman, Mr. Walker,

to present a five million VIP membership to Mr. J-Dragon!

Mr. Walker, please.

Sir? How can I help you?

Nice try! But you're not Korean! Can I see your invitation?

Invitation?

Here you are.

Sir, this isn't an invitation.

-But I'm JD's best buddy! -But he's busy right now.

I'm here to show my support! Right?

-Yes! -Support him!

Sir, come back please! This is a private party! Wait!

You want me to wait?

Oops, your knickers are showing! Oh, God! No panties?

Wait!

Hi! I'm River!

Hello, everyone,

I'm Winky. I hope you'll remember me!

I'm Marilyn, and I can bark like a dog!

This is a happy dog.

and a sad dog.

-Meimei. -Who are these people? Who invited them?

They said they know JD.

Aren't they awesome?

I'm their manager! They call me Wanchai Mak.

Feel free to come to me!

Anything you want. Anything you need.

Just give me a call!

We don't know them! Get rid of them! Now!

-Yes, of course! -Move it!

Stop right there! Stop!

What are you doing? Lay off them or I'll kill you!

JD is beating us up! See! He bashes a woman!

-JD is assaulting us! -Stop messing around!

-JD is trying to kill us! -Leave!

Take it easy! You're just a goddamn guard!

You're their manager?

Yeah, I'm Mak. You can call me Makkie.

I'm JD's manager.

I know. Suen Meimei, El Supremo! Everyone knows you.

-Then you know the rules? -That, I don't.

I only know "to each his own". Let's just wait and see

who makes tomorrow's front page?

You think that is cool?

Does making the front page mean that you've made it?

Reporters are pragmatic.

They'll say how cheap your girls are, and how sordid you behaved!

If you had taken off your pants, you'd have attracted more photographers.

But everyone will think you're a nut case.

Here is your stuff.

-You're so mean! -You can't do this to us!

You're not helping them.

You're ruining them instead.

Sorry for the trouble.

Let's go! Take off your shoes. Leave them outside. Okay, let's go.

Boss, I think what we did was cheap.

Is that what you think?

Then you're right. That's what we are!

But it's better than being a nobody!

Always remember this day

and the humiliation you endured.

Someday when you hit big time,

I want sponsors to inundate you with offers,

and directors to kneel and beg.

Remember those who gave you hard time.

When the time comes,

get even and give them hell!

What I just said can be summed up in two words.

Prove yourself!

Cut this crap! I'll ask my brother for money.

Toss a few millions in front of them and make them beg!

Shut up! If you're really that rich, would you be here today?

She's a genuine heiress! She's just fallen out with her brother

-and ran away from home! -And you believe her?

She looks nothing like an heiress!

Shut up!

No, I didn't mean you, Mr. Director. I'm so sorry.

Great, see you tomorrow!

-Boss, did you say director? -Yes, a film director.

We struck gold today!

You'll all be making movies soon!

Didn't I tell you? The key is being different!

Mr. Mak, is this your first visit?

What makes you say that?

I see that you and your artists are curious about everything!

-Like this? -Keep the pose.

-I'm sorry. Our apologies, director. -It's no big deal!

The point is

the Young Artist Award I received from the First Gibberish Film Festival

is the biggest honor in my life. Let me show you.

That won't be necessary!

The girls are famous, right?

Their video has over 1 million views.

Not bad for newcomers.

Perhaps they can have their own stylists?

That's a normal request.

-Their own cars? -Reasonable!

Blow harder! Lovely! Bend over a bit more.

-Personal chef? -Fair enough.

-Just to cook for me. -But you may have different taste.

Yes, dip it in the cream. Like this...

Yes! That's right! Lick it! Don't bite!

Yes. Excellent!

Now, watch me.

Climb up. Lie facing down.

All of you! Yes!

-Be sexy, tilt your head back. -Your AD is really into it.

-Him? He's our boss! -What?

-Come on, let's continue. -He insists on being my AD!

What is this movie about?

It's an arthouse film.

It's set in Doomsday,

the year is 2096.

The Earth explodes.

They play the eight sole survivors. On the Moon,

in a brutally artistic way, they force a gorgeous hunk,

to reproduce human DNA.

You mean they gang rape this guy?

-It's stunning! -Blimey! It's porn!

No, it's a love story with action!

Nah, it's totally porn!

No! This action-packed love story will compete

at the Gibberish Film Festival!

Now, listen to me.

I love watching porn,

but it doesn't mean I'll let them make one!

Let's go!

Please, help me out! Don't they want to show some nipples?

It'll be in 3D!

We'll go on location to the Moon!

She's a disgrace!

She should've come back, but she didn't.

So we shouldn't have come back, but we did? Let's go!

Hey,

wait.

They should've stayed but left.

So we should've left but stayed? Split!

Come on, don't be so petty! I wasn't talking about you!

Then you must be talking about us! Let's quit!

Blimey! Can I get one right?

Ladies and gentlemen, reporting live from JD's press conference.

Hello, friends of the media.

I hereby announce,

starting today,

Suen Meimei is no longer my manager.

As for my future work assignments,

please contact Tina,

my new manager.

Tina!

Looking forward to this.

JD CHANGES MANAGERS

Leave us!

What's going on, boss?

How can you be such a pervert?

I find it hard to even talk about it!

What on earth?

You installed that gigantic one-way mirror in his apartment,

and spied on him day and night.

No wonder he's freaked out,

and put a private eye on you!

Now the whole company knows about your obsession.

I polled them all.

Not even C-listers want to work with you, to be managed by you.

If I were you,

there's no point in staying, right?

By the way, have you ever spied on me over the years?

Don't worry! I emailed all the staff,

and told them to keep their mouth shut.

You should consult this psychiatrist.

Three years ago,

I was obsessed with peeping under girls' skirts.

He cured my voyeurism!

He's truly awesome! I have his card somewhere.

Here's your laundry.. The pants were fixed.

The hip should fit now, try them on!

I have no use for them now.

They terminated my contract.

But don't you worry!

They'll assign you to someone with a brighter future.

Who says you're a loser? Let me reason with him!

JD hasn't made it

because his manager is useless!

Who are you?

I'm JD's assistant. I've been with him for two years.

Leave us.

Give me a year! As his manager, I can make him a star.

But who pays for his expenses?

-I will! -You?

Dad just gave me money for an apartment.

I can use this money.

You don't even have to pay me next year. If I can't make him a star within a year,

we'll both disappear.

What's your name?

Suen Meimei.

Ms. Suen!

Will you wire us the money tomorrow?

I'm not afraid of dying!

The Chinese

are not afraid to die!

Cut! What a crappy acting! Lunch break!

-Right! -Excuse me,

if you break for lunch, can't you let him down first?

That's too much work! He can eat up there.

But how?

Hey,

catch this!

Look! A real action star!

Feed yourself, okay?

I want my beef!

Wait, save some for me.

Is this all right?

Hurry up and eat!

I know it's tough.

I'll never forget this day!

You can do it!

Don't give up!

THE TOP GROSSING FILM OF THE YEAR JD

The top grossing film of the year!

Wow, El Supremo!

I knew you could do it!

No porn, no escort service, no parties,

but straight to bed?

What's this bullshit? I'm their manager, not their pimp!

Everyone in showbiz is a crook!

Boss!

Are we too naive?

I'm worried about you!

Why do we always get these calls?

Are we really that cheap?

What do you want?

-This way! -Help!

Hurry!

-Get in! Quick! -Who are you? What do you want?

-He is our boss. -What do you want?

Remember me?

Oh,

you manage those whores!

-But I forgot your name. -Our crappy names are not important.

But I remember you.

You were right. My girls are trash, worse than Beefy here.

So I want you to help me.

You've got the wrong person.

Wait, just listen first.

I know you're the one for the job.

I have paid off your bank debts.

I took care of your overdue rent.

If you turn me down now,

you won't find a better deal.

As a token of my sincerity, here's $100,000 in cash.

plus $200,000 in monthly salary.

If you want me to manage them,

I want a 30% cut from every penny they earn.

Plus entertainment, housing and clothing allowances,

which add up to another $100,000.

Sounds like daylight robbery.

If I can't even negotiate for myself,

how can I negotiate for my artists?

Brilliant!

Thank you!

Please, call me Makkie.

First thing we have to do

is absolutely nothing. Bench them.

-What? No way! -Quiet!

It's best to make people forget the stupid things they have done before.

Genius! Why didn't I think of that?

The second thing I need is...

everyone's date and time of birth.

-I was born in 1972-- -Not you!

NAMES AND TIMES OF BIRTH

This is Master Rain.

Top stars in the industry all trust him without questioning.

Greetings, Master.

Please give them a few pointers.

This looks like...

a freak show.

Let me see.

This one,

furrowed brows, she's fiery.

A few more showers a day can quench her inner flame!

She has cataract, too.

With such small and delicate ears,

she is prone to overreach.

Metal earrings should do you good.

Oh, no!

Droopy eyebrows...

indicate passivity.

Try fingering the corners of your eyes.

Like this?

Correct!

A crooked nose means broken love. Get a nose job!

Look!

Flat buttocks at such a tender age means you're lazy.

Sit whenever you can, your butt will grow bigger.

This one's interesting!

Firm boobs means she's a dumb-ass.

Though you can't fix that, try turning your shortcomings into virtue.

Make them larger!

Again? I've lost count.

You should find yourself a new surgeon.

NAMES

-Her name is River. -Yes!

What a name! Her stars are really crossed.

Totally unfortunate!

You must know how to rectify it!

Try changing her name.

Try Goldie, Woody,

-or Muddy-- -Why?

Why should I do that? I happen to like my name.

Don't listen to this cheap cheater! He's just making things up!

-You think we're stupid or what? -Exactly!

What did you just call me?

I called you a cheater!

Stop right there!

I started out at a young age. I predicted the 2004 tsunami,

and when iPhone 6 went on sale.

I spotted all the biggest stars in showbiz!

How dare you call me a cheater? And a cheap cheater no less!

Your stupid name Rain is pretty unfortunate too.

Why don't you change it to Con? You're nothing but a con artist!

Today's your unlucky day!

-So what, wanna fight? -No, no!

-Where's my fee? -Here's your red packet!

The Master said we need a more imposing office.

We haven't earned a penny yet!

-We can't afford it! -He's right!

Showbiz is really snobbish. We can't spare the extravagance.

I've already found a place. It's really impressive.

They're so pathetic!

Like a bunch of retards!

They're still kids.

None of them can make it solo.

But teamwork is what matters today.

-Let's form a girl group! -You mean like Twins?

Like Cookies.

We need a name that stands out.

China has Huayi Brothers, The U.S. has Warner Brothers.

-Let's call them The Warner Sisters. -That's too clumsy!

What about OMG?

Hello, everybody. I'm your singing coach,

Mr. Lam.

First thing about singing live, is to open up your throat

and broaden

your range.

Let me show you.

Ms. Suen wants us in bed by 11.

I'm already asleep.

Makkie has also banned all snacks.

Cut it out.

He will never find out.

Ms. Suen said it'll make you flaccid.

We came here to be stars,

not hostages.

A star is allowed to do anything,

not the other way around.

Watch out for Mak!

-He won't be here! -Right!

What's all this noise?

Nothing!

Listen up...

I saw Beefy and some of the lads sneaking around.

I'm sure they want to make out with you.

But bear this in mind,

no office romance, understand?

I'm Ronnie, your dance instructor.

It's him again? How is he being paid?

Twice, of course!

Stop mucking about!

I'm very focused.

I'm beat, I need a break.

-Where are you going? -This is too difficult.

You think this is hard?

It's a piece of cake.

Look, even these clowns can do it!

This is not about daydreaming.

You must deliver!

You mustn't let the boss down! I give up! This is hopeless!

Look, we're amateurs! I've spoiled them.

Please stay and take charge.

Fine! But from now on, I call the shots!

Carry on!

Forget dinner if you don't get it right! One false move, no sleep either!

Girls, let's do it again!

All girls love snacks,

especially sausages.

Anything else?

How about this?

Let's go.

Now I caught you! Guilty as charged!

By dating a foreigner,

you've betrayed me and the motherland!

He's better looking and has a gorgeous body!

The key is, he's much younger!

So you're now his sugar mama?

-What about those girls? -How many times do I have to tell you?

They are just my staff. There's nothing between us.

That's even worse!

Who'd buy snacks for staff?

Anyway, I don't believe you're not cheating on me,

so I decided on preemptive strike.

White guys are robust, and they're really nice.

I'm totally awesome!

-Bastard, say that again! -Ignore him, let's go!

I dare you to say that again!

Awesome my ass!

I'm robustness personified!

You think I'm short of women?

Boss!

They all went out.

I'm scared to be alone.

Can you stay with me?

Weren't you scared?

Yes!

I really want to...

repay you.

For being so nice to me,

for giving me hopes

and a future.

With you splitting now,

you deserve a great career.

Actually,

I'd really like to...

thank you...

in a special way.

It feels good, but...

you're being naughty.

I'm not naughty.

You're hallucinating.

Wow!

If this is hallucination,

then I wouldn't mind having more.

But...

I'm scared...

Are you being serious? There's nothing to be afraid of.

...that I may break the rules.

Which rule will you break?

You said...

no...

office romance.

When did I say that?

I was just bullshitting!

Everyone knows that I'm mouthy!

True love should be allowed to prosper!

What did you just say?

True love should... prosper.

-Oh! -Oh!

-Happy Birthday! -It's my birthday today?

Does it matter?

It's really hard being a manager.

I can't tell anymore

if I'm their boss, nanny, social worker, father or partner.

Most likely all of the above. It's overwhelming!

I decided to let the lads handle those routine chores.

Sure, I'll find him!

Ginseng? He's vanished.

-He hasn't paid a penny! -Go find him!

What a meal.

Their ginseng chicken is great.

Really? Let me try.

It's delicious!

Here! Have some more!

I'm so late already, maybe I'm not meant to see them.

Hello?

Yes, Mr. Producer.

Of course we do films.

But only interested in leading roles.

Yes, all seven together,

award winning co-stars, too.

Think about it.

Aren't we a little ahead of ourselves? They're just rookies,

they can't all have leading roles! Unless they're playing Seven Dwarfs!

Even if they are, who can we get to play Snow White?

I'll never get my investment back!

If you hadn't ruined their image, do I still have to keep them under wrap?

Just sign those invoices for me.

AWARD WINNING DIRECTOR IN TOWN TO MEET WITH J-DRAGON

Even though we were late,

that Hollywood director still wanted to cast me

in his film.

It proves how much he loves my kung fu!

He must be a huge fan!

Even you could see that too!

But wait a second.

Its schedule clashes with the French film.

You must help me decide. Should I work in Europe or in Hollywood?

Hollywood has its merits,

but so does the French.

You're my manager.

You should analyze things for me,

and help me choose, right?

Don't move!

J-Dragon?

Aren't you good at kung fu? Let's see if you can beat my knife.

Bro,

-of course I can't! -Where's the exit?

Who's that crazy bitch?

She is my manager.

On your knees!

Let me take a picture!

No! Don't do that!

Bro, this is just a hold-up, there's no need to take pictures.

-But I'm your die-hard fan! -Then why are you doing this to me?

Let's take a selfie! Look at the camera!

Great! Now, back to business!

Hold this for me!

No false move!

Hey!

I told you to hold my knife, so I can pull my gun! Give me all your dough!

You're a super star! You only have $40 on you?

Where is the exit!?

Bro!

Shoot that woman for me,

and I'll give you everything. Please, I can't stand her anymore.

On your knees! Hands up!

Give me your watch!

This is a sponsored watch, I need to return it!

I'll put a bullet through your head!

I really need to return it!

...this is just a hold-up, there's no need to take pictures.

-But I'm your die-hard fan! -Then why are you doing this to me?

JD! You're really finished! Did you watch the video online?

You're such a pussy!

You're totally finished! Do you understand?

-What can we do now? What? -Are you my manager or not?

Yes! But what should we do?

Well, it's pretty obvious that I'm your acting coach as well.

Someone who can act, dance and sing.

Yes, Ronnie, can we start now?

Acting, relies on emotional responses.

Let's say in a tragic scene, you need to shed tears.

Now, let's give it a try. Think of a heartbreaking moment.

Please don't leave me! Please!

Dolly, hurry up! Or she will bite your head off!

Since then,

I lost all faith in men.

Gibson feels sorry for you.

Gibson has never met a girl who has endured so much pain.

Who is Gibson?

Gibson is a self-made man,

who believes true love is rare.

But since you beat him up,

he senses the inner feeling of love.

Although he can't rewrite your past,

Gibson

can certainly give you a carefree future. Gibson loves you!

Gibson really loves you!

Gibson loves you very much!

Gibson loves you so very much! Gibson loves you!

-Gibson loves you! -Let go of me!

This way, please!

Go on, don't stop.

Your boyfriend has gone under for 30 minutes.

-Will he drown? -Definitely.

What's wrong with you?

I apologize for being a show-off.

Gibson has brought along a few friends.

Hope you won't mind.

Gibson isn't here to party, but to raise funds for polar bears.

We'll publish a charity photo album. We need your help,

in the nude!

No, we can't bare all.

I don't mean you!

Makkie!

Look at you! You're totally wasted! Sit down!

What's up?

Give me that.

You have gone too far! They should've returned by now!

Look at you!

I get it. You're celebrating

because JD screwed up big time!

Come here.

What?

Tell me,

don't you fall for them?

This one?

-How about this one? -I don't need a sparring partner.

Just sit down!

Not her? I know, this one for sure!

No way! She's retarded!

You know I can't stand morons--

You're having an affair!

Pretend nothing...

has happened.

She's right! It's all in your mind, only a hallucination. Erase everything!

By the way...

Why did you stay out so late?

Yes.

Where have you all been?

I promised Peggy

I wouldn't disclose that we partied at her boyfriend's place.

I also promised Gibson that I wouldn't mention his name.

If you're so insubordinate,

paparazzi will nab you, and make up all kind of stories!

Everything I did for you would have been wasted!

You're a bunch of bimbos.

We train and rehearse every day, and bore ourselves to tears!

You keep turning down jobs for us!

Do you know how the public sees you?

Do you know what kind of movies they want you to make?

They have offers?

Yes! Just today, we have High-School Hotties.

A high school musical? Sounds good to me!

-It's about schoolgirl fetishism! -Blimey! No way!

And yesterday, we have

Into the Wild.

A remake of Sean Penn's classic? It sounds really ambitious!

-No, it's about orgies in the wild! -Nope, out of the question!

The day before, we had

The Yard Birds

It's a prison drama? I like the sound of that!

No, it's about sex in bondage!

Blimey, hell no!

Now you know why I said no.

Blockbusters will only cast you as extras.

Listen carefully.

Show business...

is all about luck.

I dare you to take a chance.

Sure! Try me!

Pay for your own album and MV.

Get media to play them night and day. Brainwash the public.

I'm in! How much do you need?

-Between three to five million. -I can handle that!

Really? Are you sure?

-No sweat! -Yes!

I'm sure we'll nail it this time!

Come on, more efforts!

The boys over there Look at us and be stunned

A burning zone, full of sweat It’s hot girls time

Matching dance move, youthful outfit Swing and sway

It’s our world, our future Just wait and see

Keep dancing, this is my stage

No room for emptiness

All the people in the crowd

Come worship me And be my die-hard fans

Cheer for us! This is not the Stone Age...

-It's out of sync! Memorize the lyrics. -Keep your legs straight!

-Touch up! -What is it? I am in your way?

-Yes! -Hurry! The director needs the monitor!

It's getting dark! Hurry up, will you?

Where are you?

OMG DEBUT ALBUM LAUNCH PARTY

Just around the corner? That was three hours ago! Which corner are you at?

You promised me reporters... Hello?

Out of range? You asshole!

We can't wait any longer. We need to surrender the venue.

Beefy, find me 300 people!

No, it's for a show, not showdown.

What do you mean no? Hello? Asshole!

I'm sure I can find someone.

In the past few months,

I've called all the shots, from what you do, eat to wear.

Today, you must decide for yourselves,

whether or not to go on stage.

If you do, you'll be singing to empty seats.

Let's forget it!

I'll do it!

We've been practicing for so long,

it's no worse than singing in a karaoke.

The fewer people out there, the fewer will know how poor I am.

We'll do it!

-Me too! -Count me in.

Yes! Sure! We've been through much worse.

We never care what people think. Right?

Let's do it!

Now we welcome OMG, Oh My Girls!

Its seven members are

Mona,

Marilyn,

Peggy,

Nancy,

Flora,

Dodo

and River.

They will now perform for us their debut single,

"Cheer For Us!"

Cheer for us! This is not the Stone Age

We'll show you something different

Cheer for us! This is the Age of Dream

A bright future is ahead of us

We look quirky in our outfits

But don't be alarmed

Dreams are our motivation

Courage keeps us going Surprises out of the blue

No need to be prepared Don't waste your life

Listen to me! I'll make stars of you all!

Mark my words!

Millions down the drain for something no one cares about,

for a show with no audience,

and CDs...

with no buyers.

Boss,

they've all gone out.

Enough!

I'm in no mood!

I know how you feel,

but let's talk business.

I'm really very wealthy.

-Cut it out! -My brother is a millionaire.

He'll come to Hong Kong tomorrow.

We had a fight and I ran away from home.

If I apologize to him, he'll give you money.

Let me show you.

This nouveau riche is your brother?

If you had made a mistake,

even if you hadn't, you should apologize to him every day!

But I find it hard to apologize.

It's a piece of cake! Didn't I pay for your acting lessons?

To say sorry is just an act.

Here, I'll teach you.

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

-But he's my brother! -I'm sorry!

Once again!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

Squeeze a little harder! Let them burst out!

My dearest brother,

I just come across a talent agency. It has enormous potential.

And it's expanding.

So I thought of you

and want to cut you a share. This is the owner,

Mr. Mak.

Hello, Mr. Ho.

Try these rings.

You signed with him,

he's short on cash, and you want my money. Right?

Sis,

you ran off two years ago to be a star,

said you won't return until you succeed.

I'm glad you're back.

But have you made it?

I know...

I know I've also promised to lend a helping hand,

as long as you apologize.

Right?

Bro!

I'm sorry,

Can you lend me two million?

Sis, that's no way to say sorry!

You should've said,

I want to be a star,

but I need my family to back me up with money.

If I can't make it on my own, I should never have dreamt!

-I want to be a star-- -That's enough!

I need my family to back me up!

Stop it!

If I can't make it on my own,

-I should never have dreamt! -That's enough!

Your sister...

is free...

to dream.

I'm the one who shouldn't! Let's Go! Money isn't everything!

Boss! We saved this for a rainy day. See if it helps.

Keep it!

How about your rich boyfriend?

-No! -He said if I talk money,

he'd dump me!

Why don't you let us escort those wealthy people

-as long as sex is not involved. -Don't be silly! I said no!

Boss, you owe...

Oh, shit!

We're hired by the loan company to collect your debt.

You owe them three million.

Please pay up!

Have you all gone mad? Is that how you talk to your boss?

What's wrong with you?

You flubbed your lines and you're stuttering! What's with you?

Do it again!

You owe them three million,

please pay up now!

I dare you to repeat that!

You owe them three million, please pay up now.

Damn you! Stop whimpering! Shout! Or no one will listen to you!

Shout!

You owe them three million. Please pay up now.

I don't have it, so what?

What's next?

What did I teach you?

Give me that bat!

First, you trash the place.

Then you beat him up!

How to do it?

First go for his legs!

He can't go anywhere on his knees.

Then he's a sitting duck!

Boss, no!

Beat the shit out of him. Until he pays up!

Understood?

Now take the bat and show me!

Boss,

it's okay to hit me.

But you just don't get it!

Bro,

give me a bit more time!

You can see that they work hard!

They will make it!

Just give me more time! I will repay the debt.

We're nearly there,

okay?

Boss,

it was not meant to be serious.

Now you're risking everything.

Call it a day.

Remember?

Having a dream,

is a lame excuse!

I'm already humiliated.

Boss!

Please wake up!

We'll cover this payment for you,

but that's all we can do!

You want me to manage you again?

Yes,

I need you.

Even with my obsessive behavior?

Spying on you, lying in your bed, and sniffing your clothes.

It was scary.

But business-wise

I really need you!

You know what?

I just realized...

I'm only infatuated with...

the JD persona I helped to create. Not you.

Not you.

Meimei!

Work with me again.

You have no future with that two-bit company.

But he needs me more than you do.

Come on! Let's eat!

Come on.

Come on, dig in! After this meal we may never eat together again.

A Korean talent company wants to sign you as a group.

However, they insist on full management.

So once you sign with them,

you'll no longer be our artists.

I can't be more pleased.

As I can wash my hands off you lot. A bunch of lazy, rebellious,

dumb-asses who refuse to learn!

I've had enough!

It's the Koreans' turn to suffer!

They even named the group

Give Me Five.

As the name implies,

they only want five of you.

So,

there are seven eggs in front of you.

Five raw and two hard-boiled.

Those heading to Korea for kimchi, won't have boiled eggs to eat tonight.

Those who are staying, I'll let you eat them, yolk and all.

It's raw! I've made it!

-I'm in! -Me too!

I'm in!

I knew it.

Singing is a waste of my acting talents. I'm fine, honestly.

Oh my God!

What should I do?

Raw or boiled?

At least...

I get to eat mine.

Let's enjoy our dinner tonight,

as a fond farewell to you all.

Thank you, boss.

Thank you, boss.

Boss, you have nothing to say?

The cat got his tongue!

Same rules apply!

No shouting.

No drinking.

No snacks.

No men in your room.

Be in bed by 11.

Okay, it's time!

We have to go.

Bye, boss!

Bye, boss!

Go now, go.

Even though you didn't make the cut,

as your boyfriend, Gibson will help you.

Have you heard of David Tam?

The talented young director?

Gibson was his very best friend.

When we're down-and-out,

we even shared a pair of pants.

You shared what?

Whoever went out wore them.

It was...

usually him, though.

It was because of his socializing,

that he managed to woo many investors.

He won many awards recently.

And he's looking for someone for his new film.

Show him these pants,

he'll cast you.

As his female lead.

Didn't you tell me you always wanted to act?

Yes, but I was just dreaming.

Take these pants tomorrow to director David Tam.

These stinking pants?

Yes, and tell him...

Gibson sent you.

Reminiscing...

about the good old days?

Why not?

Sure.

I wonder how they're doing in Korea.

They're doing great!

Very motivated.

They promised you.

They won't let you down.

I was out of my depth.

What's wrong with that?

When I first managed JD, I was no different.

And he became a superstar.

You know what?

Anything is possible if you believe in it.

Trust me.

They will be sensational!

You'll see them everywhere.

Give me five years.

By then, I'll bring them back, one by one,

and I'll let you manage them again.

Yeah,

we'll see.

Wait!

Whose goddamn phone is ringing?

Hello?

I'll be right over!

-What is it? -River is in trouble!

What are we waiting for?

Those two, signed with a film behind our backs.

You're human and I'm a demon.

We can't share the same dream.

But thank you,

for giving me this chance.

Cut! Nic, take a break.

I'm telling you again.

You're a demon,

you want to protect your beloved demon hunter.

Speak your lines, then swoosh... you fly away. Okay?

It is a sacrifice. So no need to go over-the-top.

You have 15 minutes. Or I'll get someone else.

Relax, it's okay.

Boss and Ms. Suen are on their way.

Damn you, Gibson!

Some actress you sent me! Nic now has a plane to catch.

Damn! Shit!

Mani!

The director looks stressed out! See if we can help him out.

How?

Book a later flight! We're not in a hurry. Tell him to take his time!

Certainly.

I know you only too well.

-Don't freak him out! -I won't.

You think I'm nuts?

-Director! -Yes?

Nic really is in no hurry.

Just take your time.

I'll book a later flight, it's fine.

Take your time.

She was being sarcastic!

I hate sarcasm! I hate it.

What happened? He looks shattered.

I repeated every word you said.

No more, no less.

-I even smiled. -That's weird!

Hi, Mani! Mr. Tse. Long time no see.

My boss, Makkie.

Hello, Mr. Tse.

Hello, Mani. You're gorgeous! How's our girl doing?

-Terrific! -You're human and I'm a demon.

Excuse us, catch you later!

Fly off after the next shot.

Hello, I'm River's manager. Where is she?

-Thanks! -You're human

and I'm a demon. We can't share the same dream.

What's with all these demons?

...for giving me this chance! Fly away afterwards!

Where's the exit?

This way.

You won't need to fly until the next shot. Just memorize your lines.

Imagine this, you're leaving your loved one,

just like when we left the boss.

Aren't you heartbroken?

What's wrong with you?

I said I'd only do it with Nic.

Now that he's here, I totally freaked out.

Nicholas Tse is just an ordinary guy. He poos and picks his nose too!

What the heck?

If he doesn't grow into his role,

he won't make a living either.

But it's so hard!

Of course it is! You show no passion in life,

let alone acting.

Here, let me show you.

You're human,

and I'm a demon.

We can't share the same dream.

But thank you,

for giving me this chance.

Are you nuts? You don't jump off until the next shot!

Why are you so over-the-top?

You weigh a ton!

I was in a coma for four days.

Then I left the girls.

Without even saying goodbye.

I tried everything, but I failed.

But no sooner than I left,

they all became superstars.

Meimei got a film role perfect for Peggy.

Action!

And River was great in her movie.

Thank you! For giving me a chance to dream.

Cut!

Meimei was right. Anything is possible if you believe in it.

Give Me Five became such a mega hit, you see them everywhere.

But at the peak of their career, they bought out their own contracts,

because of something Meimei said.

Give me five years.

By then, I'll bring them back, one by one.

And I'll let you manage them again.

I never expected her to turn Give Me Five,

back into OMG!

OMG!

OMG REUNION

Hello, Mr. Mak.

The company got a call from the police, and I was sent to pick you up.

Mr. Park is here to pay your bail. You may leave now.

I'm Mona, I'm a soprano.

I'm Marilyn, I can mimic a dog's bark.

I'm Peggy, I can burp over 100 times.

I'm Dodo, I'm good at ping pong.

I'm River, I love acting.

I'm Nancy. Actually, I'm rich, but I want to be a star.

I'm Flora, I'm a great belly dancer.

What took you so long?

Thank you!

Hi, I'm Christie. I'm 5' 7" tall, weigh 115 lbs.

My specialty is acting.

Hello, my name's Una,

and I am 20. I'm 5' 7" tall, and weigh 108 lbs.

I was an assistant show host and a photographic model.

My name's Alice and I'm 21.

I'm 5' 7" tall and weigh 110 lbs.

I love to eat, eat and eat, and I'm good at it, too.

Hello, I'm Angela.

I'm 19 years old.

My hobbies include singing, piano

and guitar-playing. I dance and do volleyball, too.

Hello, I'm Jie.

This is a happy dog.

And a sad dog.

Hello, my name is Jennifer.

I'm 22 and 5' 4" tall.

I weigh 106 lbs.

I study at the Beijing Film Academy.

Hello, I'm Venus.

I'm 20 years old.

The thing I'm best at...

is eating and sleeping!

Actually, I'm not good at anything.

I suppose I could act, just a little.

Hello, my name is Jenny.

I'm 24 years old.

I like kung fu and I play the erhu.