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Knickers... lube... hygiene wipes... condoms.
(sighs)
I always use black cabs, not minicabs.
At least you get a different driver each time.
They know what I'm up to and I know they know.
But they still ask me and expect me to lie. It's just a game we play.
Everything in here is important.
But the only essential thing on an all-night job is this.
A lot can happen on an all-nighter.
The biggest-growing market in escorting is something called the "girlfriend experience."
Now, that doesn't mean getting paid to be moody
and forcing him to try and work out what's wrong. Nah.
This is a particular service.
I've never been a very good girlfriend in real life,
but, for one night only, I am the perfect girlfriend.
Some of my clients, they're not just after sex.
They want the intimacy, the exclusivity of a real relationship.
And what's wrong with that? We all want to be held.
So it's 7:30, and from this moment on I'm on the client's time.
His treat for the night, a gift to himself.
Ashok Prasad. My first.
I lost my virginity to him.
Professionally speaking.
Sweet, clean, considerate. So I've kept him.
A perfect regular.
Hey. Hello.
Couldn't you have brushed your hair?
Couldn't you have bought a new suit?
Oh. There you go.
Oh, yeah. Great. Thanks.
Prostate cancer, death, deceit.
Officially the most depressing book I've ever read.
(laughs) Can't ask for more than that.
So.
Usual?
Lovely, thanks.
Yeah, he's married.
But his wife hasn't had sex with him for five years, so...
suppose they're both breaking the marriage contract.
There you go. Thank you.
Ooh, I love your lipstick. Oh!
Oh, have I?
Yeah, just there. There you go.
You look lovely. You look pretty good yourself.
Shall we?
Sometimes on these occasions the client will take me out.
Maybe a film or a West End play -
but I never get to see the second half.
You see, most clients are like Ash... just too excited.
I thought we'd head upstairs and order room service if, uh... if that's OK.
1500 good reasons to do the night shift.
Next job, give the client his first orgasm,
get those endorphins flowing, he relaxes.
I can pace out the rest of the evening.
How was your shower? Yeah. Good.
Still sore?
A bit.
Maybe I can help you with that.
(inhales deeply)
One orgasm down, ten hours to go.
...and the South African Chenin Blanc. Thank you.
So how are we gonna spend the rest of the night?
I mean, just the way he walks round the office pisses me off.
Smiling all the time.
Never trust an easy grin.
The three rules of conversation in the escort-client relationship. No.1...
So, Ash, global warming - will it inevitably lead to an apocalypse?
...keep it light.
Tell me, can a revitalized Tory party
ever really win over the northern vote?
No politics.
And, perhaps the most important of all...
Does your wife know you like to take it up the--?
...no inflammatory topics.
You know, people like us - we really should be in charge of everything.
Yeah. We could teach them a thing or two.
(Ash grunting)
I know it may sound odd,
but I never actually sleep with clients.
Hello? I'm bored.
I'm on level four.
You bastard.
How did you get through the force-field?
Skill and general excellence, my friend.
So go on, how was the gig?
It wasn't a gig, exactly.
It was more like an electric-acoustic performance piece.
Fucking hell! You poor, poor bastard.
I know. Guy played the same note for two and a half hours.
At one point I thought he was dead.
Nice work.
Vanessa says hi, by the way.
Yeah, sure she does.
Oh, God, I'm bored. Entertain me.
I don't know what you office tarts do.
Play with your hole punch.
Photocopy your arse.
Oh, shit. Listen, I've gotta go.
Yeah, me too.
I'll speak to you tomorrow, yeah?
Yeah, all right. We'll do breakfast.
Ben?
Mmm.
Mmm!
(man) Yes, madam. That's served between seven and ten
in the hotel restaurant which is on the fourth floor.
Thank you.
Room 302. Very nice lady.
Nice, yes. Lady, noooo.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
She's a trannie.
No. I don't believe you.
Scar.
What?
No Adam's apple.
All right, starter question.
Couple coming down the stairs.
Uh, you want me to say mother and son,
but by the way he's touching her hip, they're clearly lovers.
And?
And from the bags under her eyes,
I'd say she was a mum.
Girl, you are on form tonight.
Room 242. Married with kids.
Le me in charge of their child.
Baby listening service.
Ooh! Get you, Mary Poppins.
Right, I'm gonna get a beer.
(sighs)
Hope you don't mind me asking, but do I know you?
I don't think so, no.
Are you... on TV or...
or a model?
It's just you seem really familiar.
I'm quite well known in certain circles.
Really?
Really.
Actually....
I'm looking for a bit of fun
and I think you are too.
Sorry, not tonight.
Why not tonight?
You're here. I'm here.
Normally the agency vets the clients,
but on this occasion I'm going to have to do my own checks.
The body language.
Confident. Cocky, even.
Shoes, Rossetti. The watch, Oris.
This is a man who knows what he wants,
so he should be quick and to the point.
So... what's it gonna be?
Wait here a moment.
What room are you in?
914.
This baby monitor thing. Yeah?
How does it work? Through the phones.
I need it.
Room 504, he's been fed, watered, I don't anticipate any problem.
So I'll be in 914 just in case you need me. You're moonlighting.
You're a bad girl.
I know!
What? I've always been a bit of a tart.
I want you to take off your corset.
You're very directive.
I like that. In charge.
And your stockings.
Slower.
That's usually my role, telling people what to do.
I want to watch you come.
(man groans)
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Mmm. Yeah.
What do you reckon?
It's good. You're good.
(moans)
Did New York last year.
Three hours 31.
Pardon?
Marathon. Oh!
Helps with sexual stamina.
Yeah, I can see that. Yeah.
(restless moaning)
Everyone says that I can just go on and on.
Oh, yeah. And on.
Yeah, that's great.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
(restless moaning)
So what do I do?
Yeah.
Oh. He's the daddy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(strangled cry)
(whimpers)
If you ask them first, 90% will say no.
But, hey, once it's up there...
Was... different.
Are you sure I can't get you a drink before you go?
No, no, I'm fine, thank you.
Sure? Yeah.
I, uh, I had a wonderful time tonight.
Really.
So did I.
He wants me to tell him that he's different from all the rest.
See, all clients think they're special.
The only one.
And the truth is he is the only one.
The only one on this floor.
Morning.
Morning.
God, I slept well.
Should get up...
have breakfast.
Let's skip it.
The last job of the all-nighter.
Well, it'd be rude not to.
Well... thank you, Belle.
The... book, the... you know, everything.
My pleasure. I'll call you, yeah?
Might have to change the day. Amil's got his tonsils a week on Wednesday.
That's fine. Just let me know.
See you.
(chuckles)
Is that you done, then?
Yes. Time for us nighthawks to crawl under the rocks from whence we came.
Beautifully put. There you go.
You don't have to do that.
No, no, it's fine. I couldn't have done it without you.
It's all part of the service, madam.
All part of the service. (chuckles)
Maybe the "girlfriend experience" is like me as a real girlfriend.
Starts out all exciting and passionate.
Then I get bored, sleep with someone else, and leave.
So that's it, the all-nighter.
You play some games, you read a book, you phone your friend.
And in the small hours, when all you want is your own bed,
you do what everybody else does when they're on the night shift.
You think of the money.
Good morning, Benjamin.
(giggles)
I'm all right. How are you?
Where are you?
Being an escort involves pain.
But sometimes pain can be pleasure.
Now get off the carpet! You disgust me!
You do this job long enough, you want to kick the shit out of a man eventually.
Are you going to do whatever I tell you?
I'm sleeping with this bloke who's quite into S and M.
And then do the kitchen!
(Ben) I can't even come round your flat anymore.
This isn't about you. Deal with it.
(man) I don't want you to be nice to me.
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