Original subtitles

♪ Hark how the bells Sweet silver bells ♪

♪ All seem to say Throw cares away ♪

♪ Christmas is here Bringing good cheer ♪

♪ To young and old... ♪

Night-night.

Bye, Alyssa!

♪ All caroling ♪

♪ One seems to hear Words of good cheer ♪

♪ From everywhere Filling the air ♪

♪ Oh, how they pound Raising their sound ♪

♪ O'er hill and dale Telling their tale ♪

♪ Gaily they ring While people sing songs of good cheer... ♪

Alyssa, a client called.

You'll have to get the bus or book a taxi. I'll be home just after you. Love, Mum.

Alyssa!

Mum?

Alyssa!

Mum?

Oh, Mum. Come home.

Come home. Come home. Come home.

♪ Christmas is here Bringing good cheer ♪

♪ To young and old Meek and the bold ♪

♪ Ding-dong, ding-dong That is their song ♪

- ♪ With joyful ring, all caroling... ♪ - Electra, music off.

♪ Words of good cheer from everywhere Filling the air ♪

♪ Oh, how they pound Raising their sound ♪

♪ O'er hills and dale ♪

♪ Gaily they ring while people sing Songs of good cheer, Christmas is here ♪

Electra off! Everything off!

Electra off! Everything off!

Alyssa!

Mum?

- I'm home! - [ominous musical flourish[

Electra, lights on!

Electra, lights on!

Alyssa, you get home yet?

Why is it freezing?

So, it's the silent treatment, is it?

I wish I had a personal chauffeur at your age, but I made do with the bus.

♪ On, on they send On without end ♪

♪ Their joyful tone To every home ♪

♪ Hark, how the bells Sweet silver bells... ♪

Don't even think about trying to scare me. You're well loud.

Bonjour!

Oh, don't. Exams are over. We never have to do French ever again.

- How'd you find it? - I had no idea what I was doing.

- You know that last question? - Yeah.

I just copied down all the French off the back of that.

- I haven't signed your shirt. - Oi, oi.

Space.

I'm gonna sign yours too. Just 'cause.

No more dicks, Roch.

- No! - Oh fuck off!

No! No!

No!

No!

Watch out for sheep shit.

Bonjour!

Oh, don't. I'm so over French.

Eh, je voudrais a vodka, s'il vous plaît.

Bien. Bien.

This summer's gonna be about getting fucked every single night.

It's gonna be sick.

Every night?

I've got three jobs lined up. I'm not gonna have time to do every night.

And I've got a job at me mum's tearooms.

What the actual fuck? Since when?

Roch, I told you. She said you could get a job there too.

Well, I've got a job already. It's called looking after twins.

Oh, yeah.

Look, summer's gonna go quick, and then we'll be in college!

Felt left out.

Oh, you little fucker!

Really, Noah? Peekaboo at your age?

Why are you and Wren shit at this?

- Hiya. - Antony, the stealth assassin.

I can't believe you'd do that to us. I'm shocked. I'm shocked and appalled.

And a bit excited.

Right. Where were we?

Getting inebriated, I believe!

♪ I can't get no sleep... ♪

♪ I can't get no sleep... ♪

- This way, madame. - Cheers, me dears!

Much obliged.

- Where'd you get that? - Ciaran.

Reflex check.

- Do we have to? - Yes!

- C'mon, give us some. - And go!

- Ugh. No. No. - What?

You gotta hold it on your tongue, like this.

- I win. - Fuck off!

Careful with that sherry.

Oh my God. My aunt drinks that at Christmas.

Look, I know it's not really a summer drink.

It's the only thing in the cupboard that wouldn't be missed.

Also, fucking fit.

You wanna taste, Wren?

Ew! No.

- Fucking hell! - Hey, you guys!

Oh my God. What's he doing here?

- Is that Taz? - Yeah.

Oh my God. He's coming over.

I invited him. He's all right.

- All right, Taz. - All right?

Greetings, all.

So, this is up moors.

Never been? Can't say I'm shocked.

I bet the only thing that shocks you is a cattle prod.

Um...

I'm guessing it'll be more of the same at Becky Fox's this Friday.

You're going to Becky Fox's party?

No, but I thought you lot might be, so...

Nah. Not interested.

I've been invited.

You what?

I got an invite too.

- Same. - Yeah, ditto.

- Why didn't you say anything? - I knew you had t'twins this weekend, so...

Well, you could get me an invite.

Taz, I'm gonna add you to our group.

Saves copying and pasting.

I've been invited to join the Dickheads group!

Is that you?

Yeah, Roch christened us that.

So, uh, how did everyone's exams go?

- Oh, shut up! - You picked your moment.

Don't pull on that thread, Taz.

I think I'm just gonna apply to Love Island instead.

♪ If you're looking for devotion ♪

♪ Talk to me... ♪

♪ Come with your heart in your hand... ♪

- Hey, Becky. - ♪ 'Cause my love is guaranteed ♪

♪ So, baby, if you want me... ♪

Becky.

Hey, Wren!

Is it all right if Roch comes on Friday too?

It is a ten quid door charge, and I know that you don't...

It's dress to impress.

Great.

Can Taz come too?

Don't wanna leave anyone out.

Um...

Yeah. Fine.

Right. Well, Taz's got me tenner.

- Do I? - Yeah, you do.

Yeah. Go on.

Gonna be well good.

- Cheers, Roch. - Yeah. Well done.

Thanks.

Dress to impress?

I'll lend you summat.

Yeah, I'm not a fucking charity case.

I'll borrow summat, Wren. You got anything short?

I wanna show off me thighs.

- No one wants to see those chicken legs. - Shut up.

♪ Rhythm is a dancer ♪

♪ It's a soul's companion ♪

♪ You can feel it everywhere ♪

♪ Lift your hands and voices ♪

♪ Free your mind and join us ♪

♪ You can feel it in the air ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ It's a passion ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ You can feel it in the air ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ It's a passion ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Rhythm is a dancer ♪

♪ It's a soul's companion ♪

♪ You can feel it everywhere... ♪

♪ Lift your hands and voices ♪

♪ Free your mind and join us ♪

♪ You can feel it in the air ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ It's a passion ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ You can feel it in the air ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ It's a passion ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪

♪ Rhythm is a dancer ♪

♪ It's a soul's companion... ♪

♪ You can feel it everywhere ♪

♪ Lift your hands and voices ♪

♪ Free your mind and join us ♪

- ♪ You can feel it in the air... ♪ - Come on!

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ It's a passion ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ You can feel it in the air ♪

- ♪ Oh-oh... ♪ - Wanna dance?

♪ It's a passion ♪

- ♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪ - I need a piss.

Oi, Wren. Come here.

Don't miss this song.

♪ Rhythm ♪

♪ Rhythm is a dancer ♪

♪ Rhythm... ♪

♪ You can feel it, you can feel it ♪

♪ Rhythm ♪

♪ Rhythm is a dancer ♪

- Don't! You'll ruin it! Stop! - What? No!

- You ruined it! - Don't!

- Roch! Can you take us into town? - Rochelle!

- Whoa! Please, morning voices. - Dad said you can take us.

- Please, please! - Please, please.

Morning, sunshine. How does it feel to be free of exams?

It feels like a hangover.

Well, it's done now. I'm proud of you.

I know your mum would've been.

Come sit down, please. Eat this.

I don't suppose you've managed to rearrange your schedule?

I'm not being stuck with the twins all afternoon.

No offense, girls.

I need my own space, too, you know. You can write that down.

- You're busy. What you got planned? - Stuff.

Dad, do you still hang out with your mates from school?

Not much.

Why?

Everyone's just busy this summer.

And I can't even get a job 'cause of t'twins.

I'm just... missing out.

I've got a potential job lined up. Can you pick 'em up from school at 3:00?

Yeah, sure.

All right. And we're, um, running low on the, um...

I'll get some on my way back.

That's a good girl. You know, you can invite your mates around here.

Yeah, no. Thanks though.

- What'd you get? - Loads of stuff.

- Got you one, Wren. - Yeah.

Merry Christmas.

- Was actually from Taz. - Thanks, Taz!

Best thing you've ever done, Taz.

You can't beat Ye Olde Pastie.

- Oh my God. It's Jaya Mahajan. - You cannot beat Ye Olde Pastie.

- Oh, hiya. - Hi, Jaya!

Hey, you guys!

Goonies never say die?

You going to Becky Fox's party? I am. I got an invite.

Pity's a powerful thing.

I might be with me older mates in Manchester, so...

Oh yeah? Sure you will, Jaya.

Well, send our best to your older mates.

See ya later, Jaya.

- See ya later, Jaya. - Bye.

All the mates she's got are pigeons and homeless people.

Roch, don't be tight. You're better than that.

Is she though?

- I wouldn't have that. - Shade from Noah.

- Do one, Noah. - That's enough. Come on.

I just saved us from a half-hour chat about her older mates in Manchester.

- Maybe she does have older mates. - Exactly.

- Scum bitch alert. - Can anyone smell scrote?

Oh, wait. It's Wren.

- That explains it. - Can we just not?

Rather stand with a scrote than a slaggy scrubber.

Who you calling a scrubber?

If anyone's a scrubber, it's Wren.

She's used to being on her knees.

You know what?

Do one before I kick your head in.

What would we do if they kicked off?

Oh, I don't know.

I don't want to.

It's why you gotta have crazy eyes. Crazy always wins.

No, it doesn't.

How about fabulous always wins?

I wanna see that world, Antony.

Oi, stop pushing!

Fuck's sake.

Roch?

- Stop tripping me, fuck's sake. - Roch.

You coming?

Yeah. Um...

I forgot. I'm on twin duty.

So, I'll see youse later?

- See ya later, Roch. - Au revoir.

- Yeah, whatever. - Love you!

Message me.

No, you message me.

Huh?

[unsettling music continues[

What the fuck's it on about?

So, just two carrot cake?

- Please. - Okay.

Why you looking at me like creepy weirdos?

Forgive me for being proud of my girl starting a job.

That you two gave me.

- You got... - No.

Stop grooming her. You'll get hair on the iced fingers.

Here's your tea.

Who's "Him"?

Have you had "the talk", Rach?

Yes, we have.

Who's "Him," and when do we meet?

It don't matter. Leave it.

Hmm.

Mum, is it all right if I leave early tonight, please?

Well, I trust you to be sensible.

And all I will say is if "Him" is Noah...

Mum!

...you could do a lot worse. What? I'm just saying.

Stop being gross. She don't want to hear her mum talk about that!

Exactly.

- She's growing up, her. - Yeah, I've noticed.

Oi, it's me. It's me. Calm down.

Don't creep up on me like that.

I'm sorry.

Just trying to have a... trying to have a joke with ya.

Stupid. Sorry.

All right. How were your exams?

All right.

I hope you were more verbose in your English exam.

- Didn't think I knew that word? - Mm.

We don't have to always meet here, in this...

We could just meet at your house. It's easy.

- You haven't told your mum, have you? - No.

It's alreet, I don't blame you.

You'll have to tell her eventually if you wanna stop meeting in a graveyard.

- Don't push me. - I'm not pushing. I just, you know...

Look, I'll do it in me own time.

Wren.

I'm sorry.

Fuck!

Atención. I've been invited to the ball, because I am so popular.

I suppose I can get you an invite and maybe a new dress.

Oi, oi, oi!

After everything I've done for you!

Standing up for you. Giving you my kidney.

I suppose you can do one, you mother bleepity bleepin' bleep!

Oh, not again!

Don't worry, girls. We know the drill.

We know the drill.

Back to your big candle.

Bitches.

Rose red, rose red,

will these things from out my head.

Rose red, rose red,

will these things from out my head.

Rose red, rose red,

will these things from out my head.

Rochelle! Rochelle!

Rochelle, come down!

Roch! You've got kids here!

- Two girls! - Come on!

Leave a message if you're not a twat.

Hey, why'd you take that?

Because they're both the exact same.

- No, they're not. I put sugar in it. - Yes, they are.

Well, that makes me want it more.

- So now it's mine. - Give it back. We can switch!

- No. - Why?

Stop!

Oh, please, just...

Over there.

There's a really sparkly dress. A princess dress.

Oh my God.

- It's amazing. - My God, it's silvery!

So silvery.

Can I wear this to school?

Who got you that?

It was a fairy godmother.

Did they leave us anything?

Mm-mmm.

I'm the one off to the ball.

Clare, get your grubby hands off it.

Can we come?

Yeah, one day.

♪ Beware ♪

♪ Of his promise ♪

♪ Be sure ♪

♪ Of what you say ♪

♪ So he paints a pretty picture ♪

♪ And he tells you that he needs you... ♪

Do they look like they're a drain on society?

- No. - Okay.

Hiya!

- Oh, hi! - Roch!

Oh, you made it!

- No. No! - Uh...

Roch, I hate it when you do that. It feels gross.

Feel what you've got to feel.

- Don't do that! - Who's winning?

- I think Ant has... - Don't you dare.

I don't care 'cause I've got new shoes!

- What? They're sick. - I know.

I'm not being funny, but how'd you afford those?

I inherited 'em.

That's a weird family heirloom.

With the goose-stepping, you look like a Nazi.

Yeah, but like a trendy Nazi.

Do they look like they wanna speak to the manager?

Yes.

Is it Anne?

- Yeah! - Yes! Take a shot. I've won.

Are we okay, Roch?

Yeah. Why wouldn't we be?

Cheeky arsehole.

Are you pissed off at me or summat?

Is this about me and Noah?

I don't even know what we are yet, but it's not gonna affect us, you know.

- What? - She likes it.

Well, you have my blessing.

In fact...

Introducing Hollywood's hottest new couple...

Go on. Kiss.

Is this a kissing party?

What is going on?

Just speeding things up.

No one asked you to.

Fine.

You a pimp now or summat?

I prefer matchmaker.

Well, a job's a job.

Okay, back to the non-weirdness.

- Yeah. I spoke too soon. - Yummy!

This is your fault.

Oh, he'll earn his keep.

Be careful, though, please. Look after each other.

What happened to the stream?

I don't know. Climate change.

- I could live in the woods. - I hate the woods.

You wouldn't last ten minutes out here, Nora.

Why are we doing this? It's not dark.

Well, fires aren't just for light. They reveal things.

What... what do they reveal?

What the fuck?

Roch.

What was that?

Mmm, firey.

It was nowt. Come on!

♪ I get starstruck around you ♪

♪ What can I do... ♪

Nowt's 'ere. Are you taking the piss?

- ♪ ...get starstruck around you... ♪ - Uh...

- ♪ What can I do... ♪ - Oh...

You know what? It can't have been.

Maybe something sweet will help.

Oh, soz. Only one flapjack left.

- That's okay. - Don't know which chocolate to get.

Rochelle? Are you okay?

I can't find the sticker book.

- Bali? Oh, do UK instead. - What are they doing?

Then I can come, too, and go to London.

See Buckingham Palace. You know, all that jazz.

The royals haven't held the same allure for me since Lady Diana left the scene.

We weren't even born.

Time means nothing for her.

- Wanna go in town when I'm free? - I thought we were.

After Wren's finished work. She texted.

I didn't get an invite. She blocked me.

- I knew summat like this'd happen. - What you on about?

Don't take a genius to see you and Wren aren't good. What's wrong?

- Everything's fine. - Mm. I'm not so sure.

Speak to her, but not on your phone. In person.

It's fine. We sorted it.

You think that, but does Wren?

Sort it out.

I know you can.

Come on.

Fucking hell.

How did you deal with this shit every day?

Jesus. You scared the shit out of me, Roch.

I just saw Ash.

Is there owt you want to say about the other night?

Weird way to give your blessing.

Yeah, well, it's weird you've messaged everyone and not me.

Have you blocked me?

I've not blocked you, Roch.

Well, prove it.

What have I done wrong?

Just, you've been ignoring...

I just showed you that I've not. So you're not gonna apologize, then?

For what?

Commanding me to kiss Noah in front of everyone like a weirdo.

Acting like some kind of influencer.

Oh, you think you are so fucking great.

God. Why is everything so dramatic with you? It's pissing me off!

I'd check your rage issues if I were you.

Maybe stop hanging out with your dad. Don't wanna end up like him.

Let's not bring parents into this. There's plenty I could say.

Roch...

Look, I...

No, I'm...

Oh fuck!

- ...cherry, banana, strawberry, sprinkles... - Yeah.

Thanks. Come on, please.

- Come on, please. - Is everything all right?

Yeah. It's good to have a break. Even a small one. Come on.

Well, they're no trouble at all. They're... they're great kids.

Wren's been seeing Rick.

Sorry.

I just... I thought you should know.

Thank you.

You're a... You're a good friend.

I don't wanna wear this. It's shite.

Oi, you. Language.

- You say it all the time. - You heard this, Gloria?

Gloria?

Sorry.

Someone just walked over my grave.

What's wrong?

Your daughter's swearing again.

Language! Come here, you.

Let me wash that mouth out!

What are you like? What am I gonna do with you?

It's his fault, innit?

- Oh! - I'll throw you in the...

Him. It's Rick. It's your dad, innit?

How long's this been going on?

About a month.

Legally, he's not allowed to see ya.

- I could have him arrested. - He's better now.

Wren, he's never better.

After what he did...

He upset a lot of people, Wren.

A lot of dangerous people,

and I'm reminded to watch my back.

Always one step away from...

God. "Much better now"?

Mum. Look, I'm sorry. I know...

- You don't understand. - Yes, I do.

I understand 'cause I hate it...

- No, you don't! - I do understand. Yes, I do!

He ruined our lives,

and just when we get back on track, you put it all in danger.

You're not to see him again.

Understood? I've a good mind to have you with me all summer.

But I won't

'cause that'd be petty.

You can still see your mates. They can come around here.

- You're not to leave the house. - I can't believe Roch.

She did right.

Yeah. She only told you because she's on the verge of a break–

Rochelle is a concerned friend, which is more than I can say for you.

Roch is going through a lot. She's been through hell,

and we know that better than anyone else.

And you need to apologize to her.

Send her a message. I don't care if you don't mean it now.

When your head's not up your arse, you will.

And you'll thank me.

Rochelle!

Get out!

Get out!

I know!

- Wanna go t'breakfast table? - Yeah.

Yeah? Go.

Hiya, love. How can we help?

Yeah.

You can have that.

Uh...

Can I get some cereal?

- Get her cereal. - No problem.

I didn't get any in my box.

You all right, love?

Fine.

I'm not crying about that.

- Mum? - Where do you think you're going?

Look. Rochelle just sent me this.

Can I go to Becky Fox's party? We're gonna sort stuff out.

Fine. But the only reason I'm letting you is you're doing a good thing.

And I'm not gonna be punitive.

You look great!

I have to go out this evening, okay?

I'm gonna be back as soon as possible.

When I was your age,

I used to stay in the house on me own all the time.

Okay. Come.

Now, remember, you're not to let anyone in the house except me or dad, okay?

Okay.

Nora, you're in charge of Clare.

Clare, you're in charge of Nora.

Now be good.

Never have I ever

masturbated at school.

Well, well, well.

- Where's your shock at Noah? - I'm not surprised by that.

So go on, dirty knickers. Who flooded your basement?

- Let me guess. Geography. - We're on about me, not you.

What're ya playing?

Oh, it's "Never Have I Ever." If you get...

- Oh, yeah, yeah, I've heard of it. - Go on, then.

Never have I ever been bored by an "I Have Never" response.

That's bloody clever, that.

♪ I'm a Barbie girl ♪

♪ In the Barbie world ♪

♪ Life in plastic ♪

♪ It's fantastic ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl ♪

♪ In the Barbie world ♪

♪ Life in plastic... ♪

Rochelle. You look fantastic!

Cheers.

That was a bit weird.

You know, you didn't invite me at first, and then you sent me Red Rose.

What's Red Rose?

Help yourself to some drinks.

♪ You're my doll, rock 'n' roll Feel the glamour in pink ♪

♪ Kiss me here, touch me there Hanky panky ♪

♪ You can touch, you can play... ♪

♪ If you say, "I'm always yours"

♪ I'm a Barbie girl ♪

♪ In the Barbie world ♪

♪ Life in plastic ♪

♪ It's fantastic ♪

♪ You can brush my hair ♪

♪ Undress me everywhere... ♪

♪ Life is your creation ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah... ♪

Hey! What's happened?

Put the music back on!

Music! Music!

Music! Music!

Music! Music!

Music! Music! Music!

♪ Make me talk, do whatever you please... ♪

♪ I can act like a star I can beg on my knees... ♪

♪ Come jump in, bimbo friend Let us do it again ♪

♪ Hit the town, fool around Let's go party... ♪

♪ You can touch, you can play ♪

♪ If you say, "I'm always yours" ♪

♪ You can touch, you can play ♪

♪ If you say, "I'm always yours"

♪ When the truth is found ♪

♪ To be lies ♪

♪ And all the joy... ♪

Hey, Wren!

♪ Within you dies ♪

♪ Don't you want ♪

♪ Don't, don't you want, want ♪

♪ Don't you want Don't you want, want ♪

♪ Don't you want somebody to love? ♪

♪ Don't you need somebody to love? ♪

♪ Wouldn't you love somebody to love? ♪

♪ You better find somebody to love ♪

♪ Don't you want ♪

♪ Don't you want, want... ♪

Go for it, Noah!

♪ Don't you want, want ♪

♪ Don't you want Don't you want, want ♪

♪ Don't you want somebody to love? ♪

♪ Wouldn't you love somebody to love? ♪

♪ You better find somebody to love ♪

♪ Don't you want Don't you want, want ♪

♪ Don't you want Don't you want, want ♪

♪ Don't you want Don't you want, want ♪

♪ Don't you want Don't you want, want ♪

♪ Don't you want somebody to love... ♪

Roch. Don't worry, love.

I'll look after 'em.

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, yeah ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ooh-oh, ooh-oh ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, yeah ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ooh-oh, ooh-oh ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl In the Barbie world ♪

♪ Life in plastic, it's fantastic ♪

♪ You can brush my hair Undress me everywhere ♪

♪ Imagination, life is your creation ♪