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1
00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:04,482
-Neil, what's troubling you?
2
00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:06,528
Normally I wouldn't ask
about someone else's life,
3
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:08,617
but your sadness amuses me.
4
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:11,228
-I'm trying to text this girl
I met at a party.
5
00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:13,883
It's so much pressure,
I feel like I'm gonna die.
6
00:00:13,926 --> 00:00:16,103
-Neil, picking up a pizza
from Chuck E. Cheese
7
00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:17,756
doesn't count as a party.
8
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,411
-It was a real party.
9
00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:23,240
For my grandmother's 90th
birthday at her care home.
10
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:25,938
-Oh ho, that's the stuff!
11
00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:28,941
-But I did meet
a very cute nurse.
12
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:32,554
Her scrubs had puppies on them,
so I told her I have a puppy.
13
00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,730
I'll have to figure
that out later.
14
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,253
-Guys, guess what.
-It's the best --
15
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:39,169
Oh, sorry, Judge, you go.
-No, no, you tell them.
16
00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,823
-Oh, no, no, why don't neither
of you tell us
17
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:43,869
and let us just get on
with our night?
18
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:46,437
-Gurgs' nephew Xavier and some
of his classmates are here
19
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:48,657
to do research
for a social studies project.
20
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,224
-Don't you think it's
a huge mistake
21
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,095
bringing children to the court?
22
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,924
And Earth in general.
23
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:56,404
-This is our chance to inspire
24
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:58,971
the next generation
of judges and lawyers.
25
00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:00,799
Like when my dad
came for career day,
26
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,106
he did a presentation
and mixed in some magic.
27
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,542
He brought the house down.
28
00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:06,762
Made the book fair
look like total trash.
29
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,983
-I think giving back
is a wonderful idea.
30
00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:12,811
Just picturing
the wide-eyed look
31
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:14,639
on the faces
of prospective employers
32
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:18,121
when they see the word
"mentor" on my résumé.
33
00:01:18,164 --> 00:01:20,558
It's why I do this.
34
00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:21,820
-I'm just excited to get
to spend
35
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,561
some quality time with Xavier.
36
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,128
He used to really look up to me.
37
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,912
But ever since
he started sprouting
38
00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:29,611
that little baby mustache,
he's been distant.
39
00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:32,134
He hasn't come
to my Sunday bun day in a while.
40
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:33,702
It's when we put things
that normally
41
00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:35,747
wouldn't go on a bun,
on a bun.
42
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:39,751
Lasagna, soup, ice cream, pie.
43
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:43,886
-Oh, Jell-O?
-What are you, crazy?
44
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:46,932
-Huh, I didn't know adults
had cafeterias.
45
00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:49,152
-Don't look, but I think
that's our lunch lady.
46
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,763
-Right, that's our cue, Gurgs.
47
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,896
-Welcome, Justice Buddies!
48
00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:57,987
-If there's one thing I know
about this generation,
49
00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,640
it's they love a banner.
50
00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:01,817
-We are so excited you're here,
and we want you to learn
51
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:04,211
as much as you can,
so each of you will be paired
52
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,908
with one of
our legal professionals.
53
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,388
Max, you're gonna be with Neil.
54
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:09,868
Our prosecutor, Olivia,
is going to take Claire.
55
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,566
And, Xavier,
you're gonna be with Gurgs.
56
00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,481
-'Cause he's always been
my little buddy.
57
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,309
This is us back in the day.
58
00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:18,138
Look, we have on
matching uniforms.
59
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:20,140
-That's a deepfake.
60
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:24,187
-And, Carlos, you're gonna be
with Dan, our public defender.
61
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,320
Mr. Fielding, would you like
to meet your Justice Buddy?
62
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:31,063
-I reject the premise
that I have a Justice Buddy.
63
00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:34,066
-Mr. Fielding, it'd be my honor
to watch you work.
64
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,938
-Continue.
65
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:39,333
-What you do as
a public defender is so noble,
66
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:42,814
and may I say, sir,
you are one of the true heroes.
67
00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:46,209
-Well, I'm not a hero.
68
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:49,821
I'm just a man who constantly
does heroic things.
69
00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:55,131
This one will make
a fine assistant.
70
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,656
Two steps behind me,
no eye contact.
71
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,441
[ Theme music plays ]
72
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:07,317
♪♪
73
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:14,237
♪♪
74
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,804
-And for my next trick,
75
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,807
I give you
the U.S. Constitution,
76
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,809
conserved and protected
77
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,593
by the judicial branch
of government.
78
00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:27,119
Without it,
your rights might...disappear.
79
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,732
Don't worry, it is
not gone for good.
80
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:33,256
It is right...
81
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,215
It's right...
82
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:38,218
It's definitely here.
83
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:41,133
-It's stuck in her bra again.
It happened earlier too.
84
00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,396
She's gotten better though.
85
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,137
-Okay, you know what?
86
00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:46,878
No one panic.
I'll be right back.
87
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,667
-Eye contact.
88
00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:58,020
-Sir, I know public defenders
don't get paid enough
89
00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:00,240
for what they do,
so may I buy you a coffee?
90
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:04,548
-Max, he's my Justice Buddy.
I should be buying him a coffee.
91
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:07,856
-Boys, boys, boys, don't fight.
You both can buy me coffee.
92
00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:11,903
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
93
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:15,211
-Yeah, that's good.
#GivingBack.
94
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,562
-Make sure to identify me
as Claire Williams,
95
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,216
future district attorney.
96
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,738
I'm trying to get
my name out there.
97
00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:24,002
-Rest assured, as your mentor,
98
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,917
I will pass on to you
everything I know.
99
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:27,789
-Great.
Then I can do the opposite
100
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:29,269
so I don't end up
in a place like this.
101
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:34,752
Some fearless feedback --
No one uses hashtags anymore.
102
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,581
And maybe invest in an iron?
103
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:40,105
-I-I woke up late today.
104
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:41,803
-Your eyeliner
tells that story.
105
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:44,022
Don't let it
become your narrative.
106
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,027
-I hate kids.
107
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:51,334
Just look at them,
growing with their big dreams
108
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:54,337
and unearned confidence
and overabundance of collagen.
109
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,382
It's just rude.
110
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,209
-Mine is pretty great actually.
111
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:59,690
He helped me write that nurse
the perfect text, and look.
112
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:02,911
Just sent me a selfie.
113
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:05,609
-You asked a child
for dating advice?
114
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,176
-I don't know what to tell you,
Olivia.
115
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:08,612
This is where we're at.
116
00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:12,486
Wait, am I supposed to send
a selfie back?
117
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,314
I'll check with Max.
118
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,492
-Being in a courthouse
is cool, right?
119
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,798
Ah, it's just like on TV.
120
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:24,715
I remember you used to watch
"Paw Patrol."
121
00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,891
Chase the Police Pup
was your favorite character.
122
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,806
-I can't believe
I ever watched that.
123
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,504
That show is copaganda.
124
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,941
-Cool, cool, cool.
125
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:35,117
Fire!
126
00:05:35,159 --> 00:05:37,728
So, uh, what are you
into these days?
127
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:40,296
-You ever get on TikTok?
-No.
128
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,169
Apparently the handle @gurgs
is already taken.
129
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:47,695
Some mouthwash influencer.
130
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,480
-Well, there's this guy,
Malcolm FX.
131
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:53,222
He's a street artist
who talks about the real issues.
132
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:54,876
-Oh, I know him.
133
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:58,009
He's the one that did
that Central Park Five mural.
134
00:05:58,053 --> 00:05:59,881
His work is legit.
135
00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:02,666
Wait, he's getting arrested
in this video.
136
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,059
And he's coming to this court?
137
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:06,278
-Oh, is he?
138
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:09,412
Oh, that's -- that's weird.
139
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,980
I never --
-Don't play.
140
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,677
Are you here to get a picture
with him?
141
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:16,114
Alright, I'll sneak you
into the lineup,
142
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:19,379
but if someone identifies you
as the perp, you're on your own.
143
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,032
-Oh, um...
144
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:24,166
I wasn't going to tell you
because I didn't think
145
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:27,865
you'd get it,
but we're here to see the trial
146
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:31,652
so when the system screws
Malcolm FX, we can take action.
147
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,219
-Take action?
In my courtroom?
148
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,178
Cool, cool, cool.
149
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:39,486
Uh, that is fire.
150
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,449
-Judge, fun new idea.
151
00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,103
-Ooh, I love fun new ideas.
152
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:51,715
What do you think about a gavel
that goes "boi-oi-oing"?
153
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,543
I'm not sure if it should be
a sound effect
154
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:56,067
or a superloud spring.
155
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:59,723
-Well, I was thinking what
if we send the kids home?
156
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,290
-Disband the Justice Buddies?
157
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,553
-Yeah, they've already been
plenty inspired by
158
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:06,861
"Abby Stone
presents Law-zzle Daw-zzle."
159
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,689
-Aw, well,
that was just the previews.
160
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,647
It's time for
the feature presentation.
161
00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:12,301
-Mnh-mnh.
The previews are the best part.
162
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,085
I don't even stay for the movie.
163
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:16,392
When the lights go all the way
down, I get all the way up.
164
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,264
-Trust me, there is
nothing better than seeing
165
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,484
this justice system in action.
166
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,486
You want to...
-Mm-hmm, yeah.
167
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,574
Okay.
168
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:27,185
Uh, all rise.
169
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,187
The Honorable Judge Abby Stone
presiding
170
00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:32,756
over a very calm
and respectful court.
171
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,932
-First up,
the City vs. Malcolm Richardson,
172
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:37,282
aka Malcolm FX.
173
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,763
-Your Honor, the defendant
was caught defacing the statue
174
00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,461
of Christopher Columbus
in Central Park
175
00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:43,941
by covering his head with this.
176
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,944
-I was trying to flush
that piece of --
177
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:49,207
-Oh!
Children.
178
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:51,122
-He also works in bidets.
179
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:54,517
Oh!
I love it when art surprises me.
180
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:59,391
Your Honor, my justice associate
has familiarized me
181
00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,481
with Mr. FX's work.
182
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,917
He is no criminal.
183
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,181
He is an artist who provokes
social change,
184
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:07,704
a man who uses his medium
185
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:11,360
to speak for those
who cannot speak for themselves.
186
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,840
-Just like Mr. Fielding.
187
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:16,365
-Ah, kiddo.
188
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:19,020
-No one is saying that
Christopher Columbus is good.
189
00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,674
He and I have very different
opinions
190
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:24,199
on how you should make friends
when you're new in town.
191
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,288
Don't you think you could
contribute to the debate
192
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:27,724
without breaking the law?
193
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,552
-We've been debating
for 400 years.
194
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,206
What more is there left to say?
195
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:34,338
Nah, man, actions
speak louder than words.
196
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:35,863
-Yeah!
-Whoo!
197
00:08:35,905 --> 00:08:38,561
-Yeah, freedom of speech,
a right guaranteed
198
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,040
to every citizen
199
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:42,477
by the First Amendment
of the Constitution.
200
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:47,396
And that document is the GOAT.
201
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:48,919
And I will fight tooth and nail
202
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:51,661
to make sure it exists
for future generations.
203
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:54,490
[ Cheers and applause ]
204
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,883
-Okay, okay, order.
205
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:58,059
Gurgs, can I talk
to you a minute?
206
00:08:58,102 --> 00:08:59,800
I was right, huh?
207
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,236
Watching the court in action
got them real fired up, huh?
208
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,977
-Yeah, fired up, alright.
209
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,240
-Think you can get them
just to calm down a little bit?
210
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:06,458
-Sure.
211
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:09,331
Uh, but while I'm up here,
212
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:12,334
I just think the charges
seem a little harsh
213
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:15,119
for someone who's trying
to express himself.
214
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:17,339
If Christopher Columbus would've
seen a modern toilet,
215
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:18,645
he wouldn't know
what to do with it.
216
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:19,950
He might have put it
on his head.
217
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:23,040
We just don't know.
218
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,259
-Unfortunately,
my hands are tied.
219
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,000
This isn't about
freedom of speech.
220
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,350
He confessed to vandalizing
public property.
221
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:34,269
I find the defendant guilty of
third-degree criminal mischief.
222
00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,837
-Objection!
This system is rigged!
223
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,142
-Unleash the signs!
224
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,101
What do we want?
-Justice!
225
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:43,495
-When do we want it?
-Justice!
226
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,324
-I said we should get
one more practice in,
227
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,892
but no one listens to Max.
228
00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:50,241
-What is going on?
229
00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:52,374
-We're protesting
an unjust system
230
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,594
that will find Malcolm FX guilty
of anything
231
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,247
except speaking the truth.
232
00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:58,598
-And they got a better
banner than you.
233
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,863
-Look, you seem like
a nice magician,
234
00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:06,083
but you're a cog
in a broken system.
235
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,651
-There is a lot of passion
here, which I love.
236
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,959
-Day or night,
court's not right!
237
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,657
Day or night, court's not right!
238
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,224
-Don't love that.
239
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,008
Neil, can you clear the court
out, please?
240
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,923
And, um, everyone else,
can I talk to you
241
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,621
out in the hall,
where there's less chants?
242
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:23,231
-Less "chance" of what?!
243
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,667
-No, less chants!
244
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:25,886
-There's no chance
we're gonna hear you
245
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:26,974
over all these chants!
246
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,236
Let's go out in the hall!
247
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:31,413
-Day or night,
court's not right!
248
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:34,068
Day or night, court's not right!
249
00:10:34,111 --> 00:10:36,287
-What is going on in there?
-Okay, look, this is my fault.
250
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,985
I should have --
-It's not your fault.
251
00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:39,682
Dan's the one who got them
all riled up, talking about
252
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,423
the First Amendment
for his little fan club.
253
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,686
-I was just making a passionate
defense for my client.
254
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,645
The fact that it turned
a roomful of children
255
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,517
against you is just a fun bonus.
256
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,259
-No, a fun bonus is
when you're watching
257
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,390
"Live with Kelly and Ryan"
258
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:53,435
but Ryan Seacrest
has the day off,
259
00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:55,089
so Kelly's husband fills in
260
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:58,875
and you get to see their
sexual tension for a full hour.
261
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:01,269
-Maybe some disillusionment
is a good thing.
262
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:04,533
Now Claire doesn't go into law
and we all sleep easier.
263
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:08,668
Claire, my little
justice nemesis.
264
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,931
How do not know Claire?
She's trying to destroy me!
265
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,282
-I think y'all
are missing the point.
266
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,458
When Xavier came to me and told
me what they were going to do --
267
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,199
-Wait, you knew they were
going to do this?
268
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:21,637
-Well, I only found out --
-Why didn't you tell me?
269
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,771
-If I'm being honest, I can see
where the kids are coming from.
270
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:26,511
-Oh, that's great,
so you can talk to them.
271
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:27,687
You can get them to calm down.
272
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,429
-You know what?
Yeah, I got this.
273
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:34,563
-Day or night,
court's not right!
274
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:37,261
Day or night, court's not right!
275
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:40,047
-Xavier Lawrence.
-Yeah?
276
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,701
-You got room for one more?
277
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:50,231
-Sorry, I grabbed
my science homework by mistake.
278
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,542
-Gurgs, what are
you doing?
279
00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:58,979
-I'm supporting my nephew.
280
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,502
-Hey, Max,
I know it's not the best time,
281
00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:02,373
but I'm getting the three dots.
282
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,988
-I got 70 cases tonight, Gurgs,
and we already started late
283
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:09,163
'cause I did that magic show.
284
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:13,384
You know I'm obligated
to report this.
285
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:17,084
-I do know protocol.
-Well, then, help me out.
286
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,564
I hear you,
but you could lose your job.
287
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:21,001
Are you sure about this?
288
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:26,136
-When I say "all rise,"
you say "get wise."
289
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:27,747
All rise!
-Get wise!
290
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,705
-All rise!
-Get wise!
291
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,011
-All rise!
-Get wise!
292
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,403
-All rise!
-Get wise!
293
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:34,579
-Claire is clearly
the weakest chanter.
294
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:36,146
-Get wise!
295
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,194
-Neil, they're trespassers
in my courtroom,
296
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:42,849
which means we have no choice
but to report them.
297
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:46,678
So can you report them?
-I don't want to do that.
298
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:48,985
-Neither do I.
299
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,552
-Here's a good rule of thumb.
300
00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:52,119
If you're too scared
to do something,
301
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:54,121
I'm definitely too scared
to do it.
302
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:59,953
-Okay, I'm here as a liaison
with a list of demands.
303
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:03,695
"We the protesters will not be
silenced until we receive,"
304
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:06,307
uh, all of these.
305
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:10,093
-The children demand a bottle
of Macallan single malt scotch?
306
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:14,271
-Oh, yes, and they insist
on the 18-year, not the 12.
307
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:17,405
These kids have taste.
308
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:19,059
-How can you just treat this
like a joke?
309
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,843
-Of the things that I have seen
in this court,
310
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,279
this doesn't even
break the top 20.
311
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,368
There are no bombs,
there are no hostages,
312
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,675
no disgruntled warlocks.
313
00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:28,808
This is a snooze.
314
00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,420
-Oh, Gurgs, thank God.
Is the protest over?
315
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,769
-No, I'm here with our demands.
316
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,772
-Uh, uh, what are you
talking about?
317
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,730
I just brought our demands.
318
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,038
Alright, fine.
319
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:45,389
These are for me, but my
happiness is important to them.
320
00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:49,263
-Neil, you're missing it.
321
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:50,960
They started a chant about you.
322
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:53,789
"Clerks are jerks!"
323
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,312
-I got bigger problems
out here.
324
00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:56,705
I sent the nurse a selfie
325
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,533
and she saw all the kids
in the background.
326
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,883
Now she thinks they're my kids.
-What? Why would she think that?
327
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:03,277
-I told her they were my kids.
328
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,844
I didn't know what to do.
329
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:06,976
My Justice Buddy wasn't around,
so I panicked.
330
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:08,543
-Sorry that a 12-year-old
331
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:10,458
dropped the ball
on your love life.
332
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:14,331
Well, this little protest
really worked out well for me.
333
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:18,640
I got some photos of that little
queen bee agitator, Claire.
334
00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:21,469
She will never work in a D.A.'s
office after they see this.
335
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,341
Oh, it is a career killer!
336
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,387
-You do know we're talking
about a child?
337
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,823
She doesn't have a career.
338
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,520
-Yeah, and I intend
to keep it that way.
339
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,567
-They would also like
a complete overhaul
340
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,960
of the judicial system,
341
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,266
the abolishment
of the Electoral College,
342
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:40,227
and a large cheese pizza with
Doritos baked into the crust.
343
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,664
-Some of those
are really tricky.
344
00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,709
I don't know how I'm going
to do that pizza thing.
345
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:48,322
Can we just end this?
I'm not anti-protest.
346
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,019
I went to
all the women's marches,
347
00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:52,021
and the march I thought
was against ageism
348
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:54,632
but turned out to be
a casino bus that broke down.
349
00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:57,331
-None of those grandmas knew
how to change a tire?
350
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,420
Greatest generation, my butt!
351
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,206
-I know firsthand
how this system fails,
352
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,556
and you know I try really hard
to make things better,
353
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,949
but they are blaming me
for something
354
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,037
that I can't do anything about.
355
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:09,778
It's just unfair.
356
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,957
-That's not a good feeling,
right?
357
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,611
When things are unfair
and there's nothing
358
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,221
you can do about it.
359
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:19,875
Makes you want to --
I don't know --
360
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,966
pick up a sign
and yell or something.
361
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:27,274
I like working here.
I like working with you.
362
00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:28,840
But there are cases
that come through here
363
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,320
that just get under my skin.
364
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,801
Most nights, I can push past it.
365
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,455
Tonight was different.
366
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:39,808
-Alright, so, I've talked
the kids down
367
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,549
to something more reasonable.
368
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:44,726
They want to have a weekly
luncheon with me at The Palm.
369
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:47,598
No budgetary restrictions.
370
00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:48,860
Oh, yeah,
and they'll be in school
371
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,776
so they won't be able to attend.
372
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,865
-You know,
I just realized something.
373
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:57,391
I'm the bad guy
in this situation.
374
00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:59,001
-Must be hard for you.
375
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,655
I mean, I've been the good guy
for like 45 minutes,
376
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,353
and it's pretty intoxicating.
377
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:05,790
Don't know if I'll ever
be able to go back.
378
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:08,228
-You're using children
to scam booze.
379
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,317
I'm pretty sure
you'll be able to go back.
380
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,929
-Look, you said yourself that
you're part of a system
381
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,626
that doesn't always
get it right,
382
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:19,239
which means that sometimes
you're gonna be the bad guy.
383
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,849
You know what?
I'm -- I'm gonna tell you
384
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,590
something that's gonna be
difficult for you to hear,
385
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,940
but I know from experience.
386
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,594
This isn't about you, Dan.
387
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,078
Sorry, I've just never heard
that sentence
388
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,167
without the word "Dan"
at the end of it.
389
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,649
-So I guess I got to figure out
a way to make it about them.
390
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,217
-Or we could just shut
this whole place down
391
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:42,653
and I would never
have to come back.
392
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,786
-You know, a real good guy
would help me.
393
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,048
-Yeah, okay.
394
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,615
Tell you what --
Let's go get a table
395
00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:49,095
at The Palm and figure this out.
396
00:16:56,363 --> 00:17:00,149
-What you got there, hmm?
A little celebratory cola?
397
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,456
Feeling pretty good
about yourself, huh?
398
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:05,720
Well, you should know stunts
like this can really hurt
399
00:17:05,762 --> 00:17:07,809
your chances with law school
and future employers.
400
00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,290
-Are you blackmailing me?
401
00:17:11,638 --> 00:17:13,902
-Should I be?
402
00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:17,123
-Please, I could spin
those pics like a C.D. player --
403
00:17:17,165 --> 00:17:18,515
an obsolete device
you may remember
404
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:19,690
from your teenage years.
405
00:17:19,733 --> 00:17:21,910
-[ Gasps ]
406
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,738
Okay.
407
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:26,219
You're young and you, uh, think
you got it all figured out,
408
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,089
but pretty soon
you're going to wake up
409
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:30,092
to a closet full
of Ann Taylor Loft,
410
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,964
an infestation of roaches
that you call water bugs,
411
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,749
and a therapist who won't
return your phone calls
412
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,578
because her therapist identified
you as clinically unhelpable!
413
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,496
-You're right.
I don't have it all figured out.
414
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:44,454
I act like I do
because I'm scared
415
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:47,544
and I lash out at people
to make myself feel better.
416
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,894
I'm a fake.
417
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:57,424
-I'm an adult woman who felt
threatened by a 13-year-old.
418
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:01,950
And that monologue was about me.
419
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:08,522
-So, are you really going
to lose your job over this?
420
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:10,915
-Probably.
-Good.
421
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:14,136
Why do you want to work
in a place like this anyway?
422
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,572
-I've asked myself
that question a lot
423
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,139
these last couple years.
424
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,576
Why do I keep putting
on this uniform?
425
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,232
I think being here is important.
426
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:25,495
I want the people who come
to court to see
427
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:28,542
someone from their community,
someone who understands them
428
00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:30,848
and who doesn't just assume
they're guilty.
429
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:33,938
I mean,
sometimes they are very guilty.
430
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,551
But they still deserve to be
treated like human beings,
431
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:38,813
and that's what I do.
432
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,643
-Maybe it's good to have
people like you here.
433
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:46,342
I hope you don't lose your job.
434
00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:48,910
-Well, if I do, I'll just
get a job at your school.
435
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:51,478
[ Laughs ] If you think you were
embarrassed today,
436
00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:53,219
strap in, baby!
437
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,921
-Alright, no more being
Judge Mr. Nice Judge!
438
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:03,620
I'm charging you all
with criminal trespassing!
439
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:06,971
Technically Olivia
is charging you,
440
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:11,150
so really she's the worst,
but I'm still plenty bad!
441
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:14,675
-Just a second,
you tiny monster!
442
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:17,112
-Ah, it's Mr. Fielding
for the defense.
443
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,159
-That's right, and I have
secured an emergency permit
444
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:24,685
to allow these young people
to assemble.
445
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:27,340
-Damn it, you found a way
to let these dissenting voices
446
00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:29,429
be heard
by working within the system.
447
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:32,040
You and these fresh-faced
future lawyers and judges
448
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,695
have foiled me yet again!
449
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:39,047
-Is this a play?
450
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,962
-It's boring like a play.
451
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:45,575
-No, it's very funny
and suspicious
452
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:48,143
that you're against us
when your signature is on it.
453
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,319
-Is it? Wow.
454
00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:53,627
I sign so many things
'cause, you know, cog.
455
00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:56,282
-Uh-huh.
456
00:19:56,325 --> 00:20:00,590
Well, thanks, but our protest
is over anyway.
457
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:03,637
This place needs a lot of work.
458
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,554
But I feel better knowing there
are people here who get it.
459
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:09,251
-Me too.
460
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,777
-So, this means I get to go
461
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:17,651
to your school's
auntie-nephew dance.
462
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:20,436
-Uh, we don't have one of tho--
-Shh!
463
00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,223
Let her have this.
464
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,184
-There, I fixed it for you.
465
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,577
She said she'll see you
next weekend
466
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,970
when your kids are
with your ex in Hartford.
467
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,972
-Wow, you're good.
468
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,844
You know, this whole night,
I thought I was teaching you,
469
00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:39,281
but in a way,
you were teaching me.
470
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,979
-In every way
I was teaching you.
471
00:20:42,023 --> 00:20:43,720
At no point
were you teaching me.
472
00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:50,074
-Goodbye, Aunt Gurgs.
473
00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,728
See you at Sunday bun day?
474
00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:54,731
-Thanks again for the invite.
I can't wait.
475
00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:57,995
It's going to be
a "bunnn-ch" of fun.
476
00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:01,390
-It's called bun day,
not pun day.
477
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:04,785
-Before I go, I just want
to let you know
478
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:05,916
how much this meant to me.
479
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,309
-Oh!
480
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:09,485
This generation
and your incessant need
481
00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:11,400
to express every feeling.
482
00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:14,273
J-Just get out of here
before I take more
483
00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:16,100
of your birthday money.
484
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,842
You know what?
485
00:21:18,886 --> 00:21:20,540
This turned out to be
a lot of fun.
35079
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