All language subtitles for Documentary Now s04e04 How They Threw Rocks.eng

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♪

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Good evening.
I'm Helen Mirren.

And you're watching
"Documentary Now!" Season 53.

In a small Welsh village,
two men enter a ring.

But instead of doing battle
with their fists,

they throw stones
at each other.

And actually, it's not a ring,
it's a sheep pen.

I give you the 1996
classic sports documentary

"How They Threw Rocks."

[ Laughter ]

[ Indistinct conversation ]

[ Singing in Welsh ]

♪

[ Welsh accent ]
Yes, I'm back.

Others tell me I've changed,
but I haven't.

I'm still the champ,
and I don't take too well

to somebody going around
saying otherwise.

[ Singing continues ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Crowd cheering ]

Bring a smile
to your face.

♪

Now, I know what you've all
been saying, lads and ladies.

He's bigger than me.
He's younger than me.

And yet not one of you
have said

he's better-looking
than me.

So at least on that count,
I know you're being honest.

Announcer: He's the hero,
and he's the man!

He's the one
they've come to see.

♪

Reporter: Do you have
a girlfriend, Sior?

[ Welsh accent ] Do I have
a girlfriend?

A gentleman never --
what's the expression?

A gentleman never
has a girlfriend.

You say he's big.
You say he's mean.

But I'm the hottest shot
you've ever seen.

Announcer: He's certainly not
the people's favorite.

"Get your hair cut,"
the crowd say.

♪

Man: Olly!Group: Oi!

Olly!Oi!

Olly! Olly! Olly!Oi! Oi! Oi!

♪

They thought he was
burnt out and pastured.

They thought he was way too old.

But this here, lads,
it's people's champ.

He was about to weave gold

[ Birds chirping,
sheep bleating ]

[ Speaking Welsh ]

There she is. I wouldn't be
what I am without her.

Formidable,
but I'll tell you what.

One tough cookie.

You have a cross word
with Ma Lewis-Ifans,

be prepared for anything up to
and including single combat.

I can tell you.

Love her.

Alwyn Lewis-Ifans was
the most charismatic, skillful,

and brutal craig maes fighter
that I have ever seen.

[ Crowd shouting, applauding ]

Announcer:
It's an absolute bloodbath

as Lewis-Ifans
and Rhys-Thomas

go back and forth,
back and forth!

Teale-Griffith:
Craig maes, or "field rock,"

is a sport unique to the Welsh
village Llagoelwyn on Wrst,

in which two men enter
a sheep pen divided in half.

Each fighter has a pile
of rocks,

a pile they have
personally collected

from the surrounding field.

And during each
three-minute round,

they take these rocks

and hurl them at one another...[ Crowd shouting ]

...with great force.

Announcer:
Down goes Rhys-Thomas!

Down goes Rhys-Thomas![ Bell rings ]

Allie, as he was known locally,
was a folk hero in Llagoelwyn.

Announcer:
Oh, there's an Allie Whirlie!

Teale-Griffith: He'd won
the Golden Stones as an amateur

and then went pro at 17.

And when he announced

he was going to attempt
to win back his title

in his hometown
of Llagoelwyn on Wrst --

in his first fight
in over five years, no less --

well, it was a national event.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

♪

Teale-Griffith: These people,
this town, they loved Allie

because they believed
he fought for them.

Davies-Gruffudd:
The problem was

Allie had never fought anyone
like Sior Strawboss.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

Strawboss didn't dance.
He didn't strategize.

He simply threw a rock
harder than anyone on earth.

[ Bell rings, crowd cheering ]

Strawboss:
Yes!

Teale-Griffith: I once wrote,
"When Strawboss strikes

another man with a stone,
even God winces."

I was quite pleased
with that one.

Davies-Gruffudd: There was
a feeling amongst many of us

that this fight for Allie
was a mistake.

Man:
Are you worried, Allie?Am I worried?

No, I'm not worried at all.

Aye, Sior Strawboss
is a nasty character,

but let's not forget, now, lads,
I've just come out of prison.

And, uh, next to the boys I
spent the last five years with,

Strawboss is as timid
as your dear old aunt.

[ Laughter ]Not your Aunt Dorissa.

I wouldn't want to scuffle
with her.

How's she doing?
She all right?

Man:
She's good now.Lovely.

Davies-Gruffudd: You see,
they didn't just love him

as a fighter.

They loved him
because in their minds

he had gone to prison
for them --

which one could argue he had.

Turner: There were
a lot of sheep stolen

up and down the valley
in the spring of 1969.

So we set up a sting operation
and caught Die John red-handed.

Well, the problem was Die John's
father was Tom the Milk,

chairman of the farmers union.

There wasn't much more of
a powerful man in the valley

than Tom the Milk.

So he pulled a few strings,
and he got Die off

with nothing more than a slap
on the wrist.

Well, of course,
Allie was having none of it.

Do we not pay our taxes?Group: Yeah!

Do we not deserve protection?Group: Yeah!

Now, I'm no vigilante, but I
won't stand by and do nothing.

The farmers of this village
are like family to me.

And you don't want to see
what happens

when you steal from my family.

Would you steal a car?Group: No!

Would you steal a child?Group: No!

It's the exact same thing!
You would not steal a sheep!

That farmer wakes up in
the morning, he's a sheep shy.

He has lost a child.

Or that sheep wakes up,
doesn't know where it is.

It's full-on emigrated.

It goes to the other sheep,
"Oh, hello."

They go, "Sorry.
No, you're a mountain sheep.

We're sheep sheep."
"Well, but --"

"No, you're a mountain sheep.
We're sheep sheep."

Now, all of a sudden,
you've got a mountain sheep

in a sheep sheep pen confused,
lonely, scared, traumatized.

Now, you think about that!Group: Yeah!

I know why he did what he did.

In many ways,
I wish I'd done it myself.

Judge:
Now, I want to make clear

that whilst you have not been
prosecuted for sheep theft,

you arebanned from ever
entering this village again.

Have you anything to say?

I wouldn't step foot in this
filthy town again if I --Man: He's got a rock!

Don't you say another word,
you louse!

You keep
your filthy mouth shut!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

An arrest tonight,

where craig maes champion
Alwyn Lewis-Ifans

has been accused of putting
a sheep thief in a coma by --

no surprises here -- hitting him
on the head with a rock.

Turner: Allie was at the peak
of his craig maes career

but was willing to throw it
all away in the name of justice.

Forgive them, Mum, for they know
not what they do.

It should have been me.

Yet I was the man
who had to arrest him.

Sorry.

There was no avoiding jail
after that.

Five years.

And so yes, he came out older,
slower, and thicker.

But the people loved him

more than they'd ever loved him
before.

[ Crowd cheering ]

How do you feel about fighting
an ex-convict, Sior?

He may have just got out
of jail,

but after the fight,
he'll want to go back in jail --

where I can't get to him, see?

'Cause of the jail bars.

If it was a battle of verbosity,

Allie wasn't going to have
any trouble.

But, you see, it wasn't.

And to see Strawboss train

was to doubt
he could ever be bested.

Man: Here's the one![ Grunts ]

[ Men cheering, applauding ]

And that's, of course,
when I coined the name

the fight would forever
be known as --

"The Melon Versus the Felon."

Davies-Gruffudd:
Well, I didn't care for it.

Yes, Allie was a felon.

But Sior wasn't a melon.

He threw rocks at melons.

I suppose it should have been

"The Felon Versus the Man
Who Throw Rocks at Melons."

And I told that to anyone
who'd listen.

Well, he was jealous, wasn't he?

No one liked his name
for the fight.

I wanted to call it
"The Quarrel at the Corral."

I mean, it's all well and good,

but that's not how you pronounce
"corral."

You can't just change the word
to make it rhyme with "quarrel."

You simply can't.

I mean, it's -- it's like saying
"sqaurrel" for "squirrel."

Lewis-Ifans:
I'm in a bit of a foul mood today, ladies and gentlemen.

I went down to the grocer to buy
some melon, and they'd run out.

Apparently, my opponent's been
using them as sparring partners.

[ Laughter ]

It's funny, really.

He's training with fruit,

and it's my intention
to turn him into a vegetable.

[ Laughter ]Davies-Gruffudd:
His wit was as sharp as ever.

But there were worrying signs
as to his fitness.

Okay. Enough.

Locals stopped by every day

bringing him food both sweet
and savory.

Time for me to take
my medicine.

Davies-Gruffudd: Welsh cakes,
pasties, sausage rolls.

I never saw him turn one down.

He was heavier, which is
problematic for a fighter

whose style was to be elusive.

He would go for runs,

and the children in the town
would run along with him.

But after a while,
the children would pass him.

And then he'd try to catch up
with them,

and he wouldn't be able to.

He'd laugh
as though he were pretending.

But, uh, you could tell
he was deeply unfit.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

♪

Davies-Gruffudd: He was drinking
too much, eating too much.

More troubling than that
was the gambling.

We'd only see the small stuff,

like "How many cashew nuts
are there in the jar?"

...445...

446...

[ Men groaning ]

You've only been counting
the halves, Jan, haven't you?

I never claimed counting
was my strong point, gents.

Count it, Godwin.

Davies-Gruffudd:
He just loved to wager

on how many of a thing
was in any given place.

Man:
...80, 81,

82 sheep in the field!

Aw!
Allie.

I could've sworn
there were 100.

Davies-Gruffudd: This was when
the whispers started

that Allie was deeply in debt
to his bookmakers,

and people began to worry
that the fight might be fixed.

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Teale-Griffith:
Now, the day before the fight

is the collection.

From sunup to sundown,

each fighter is allowed
to gather

as many stones as they can
for their match pile.

Sior was single-minded that day.

He walked through the field
with purpose,

picking up every stone
he lay eyes on.

He built an opening pile more
impressive than I'd ever seen.

Allie, on the other hand,
seemed distracted,

as if his mind
were somewhere else.

In fact, I wrote,

"He had the air of a man looking
for a dropped wedding ring

he wasn't sure
he wanted to find."

[ Chuckles softly ]

I liked that one quite a bit.

...516, 517...Davies-Gruffudd:
In a normal match,

each fighter collects
about the same number of rocks.

...519.

That was not the case
on this day.

...35, 36, 37.

Strawboss 519,
Lewis-Ifans 37.

Lewis-Ifans:
Remember, though, lads.

It's not about the number
of rocks you've got.

It's how you throw them.

I don't imagine I'd need more
than 10 to get the job done.

And, uh, well, I'll pass
the rest out as souvenirs.

[ Chuckles ]

Larger in person
than what I thought he'd be.

You seen him?[ Whispering indistinctly ]

You fucking told me.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

♪

♪

♪

[ Crowd cheering, announcer
speaking indistinctly ]

Announcer: ...for the big event
of the afternoon.

Entering the pen
is Alwyn Lewis-Ifans

and Sior Strawboss.

Group:
[ Chanting ] Alwyn! Alwyn!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,
let's join together

and sing our national anthem.

[ Group singing
"Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau" ]

♪

Davies-Gruffudd:
There is nothing

quite like the tension you feel

before the opening bell rings
in a craig maes match.

And never more so
than on that day.

Teale-Griffith: You couldn't
believe Allie had a chance.

Referee: Okay.
Let's have a fair match here.

Teale-Griffith:
But to see that smile

was to think...
"Maybe he cando it."

Announcer: Once those shirts
are coming off,

that shows that these lads
mean business.

Seconds away, then,
from the start.

Olly! Olly! Olly!Group: Oi! Oi! Oi!

Olly!Oi!

Olly!Oi!

Olly! Olly! Olly!Oi! Oi! Oi!

[ Chanting ]
Alwyn! Alwyn! Alwyn! Alwyn!

Davies-Gruffudd: Allie had
told us he would dance.

He showed us howhe would dance.

And yet at the opening bell,
he grabbed his largest rock

and went for the kill!

[ Bell rings ]Announcer: The bell has gone.

There goes Allie!

Oh, it's Allie with a Whirlie!

And yet Strawboss didn't blink.

[ Crowd shouting ]

Davies-Gruffudd:
And in that first round,

Allie just unloaded on him,
rock after rock after rock.

Strawboss didn't move until
right before the bell rang.

Announcer:
Oh! That must have hurt!

[ Bell ringing ]

Teale-Griffith:
In fact, when the round ended,

Strawboss just glared,
as if to say,

"If that was your best,
it wasn't enough."

And I turned to Garth,
and I remember I said,

"Strawboss is the nail
that cracked the hammer."

And I'll never forget
what Garth said to me.

He said, "Owen, that's enough."

Bloody typical of him

to remember all these years,
isn't it?

Andto bring it up in public.

Yes.

Man:
He's not used to this.

Teale-Griffith:
He drank a pint of bitter,

which wasn't uncommon for him
between rounds.

But then he also gestured
for a scotch.

Davies-Gruffudd:
His eyes betrayed a man

who knew he had met his match.

[ Crowd cheering ]

[ Bell ringing ]Announcer: Here we go, then.
Next round.

Will we see a little bit more
from Alwyn?

Teale-Griffith:
And when the next round started,

he adopted the turtle.

Announcer: My goodness.
What's going on here?

[ Rock thuds ]Oh, my goodness!

He's standing there
like a turtle!

Turtling is
a craig maes technique

where the fighter turns his back
to his opponent

to protect his head and face.

Now, it is useful
to avoid a knockout

if the fight is winding down

and you think you might win
by decision.

But to do it
this early in a fight

against someone like Strawboss
was suicide.

The way Allie hung there,
like a rag doll,

you thought he might be dead.

Announcer:
What on earth is going on?

What is happening?

And yet he would turn
and taunt Strawboss.

[ Shouting indistinctly ]

Davies-Gruffudd:
He'd say, "Are you still here?

I thought you had left."

And this enraged Strawboss,

who kept throwing harder
and harder.

[ Bell rings ]

Meanwhile, the pen was getting
smaller and smaller.

Announcer: Once again,
they, uh, narrow the arena,

giving the guys less room.[ Bell rings ]

Out they come, then,
for round 3.

The crowd will be expecting
a little bit more from Allie.

Davies-Gruffudd: The next two
rounds, it was the same thing --

Allie just getting punished
by Strawboss.

It was almost masochistic.

[ Grunts ]Announcer:
Oh! That caught him!

He's taking all the punishment!

I mean, it really was impressive
that he hadn't gone down

but so deeply sad that it was
going to end this way --

a champion,
well, basically conceding

that he had no way to win.

Announcer: The crowd, they're
stunned, they're surprised.

This is not the Allie
they know and love.

Group: [ Chanting ]
Alwyn! Alwyn! Alwyn! Alwyn!

And then...he recited a poem.

Teale-Griffith: "And Father Time
will knock at my door.

Yet he shall not find me there.

Look as he may in every room

'neath floorboard
and under stair."

[ Woman singing in Welsh ]

"For I will have left
a day before

to spare myself his embrace.

♪

In a field alone,
I'll find my stone...

♪

...and look it in the face."

♪

When he finished,
I turned to Garth, and I said,

"It's not a poem.

It's an elegy."

And I said,
"Shut the fuck up, will you?

Just for once, shut the fuck up,

watch what's happening,
and don't comment on it!"

Yes, it hurt my feelings.

Hurt them very much.

No one likes to be snapped at.

Announcer: The crowd not losing
their passion for Allie.

They're still 100% behind him.

[ Bell rings ]

Here we go, then!
Next round!

[ Crowd cheering ]

♪

Crowd:
Oh!

Announcer:
Strawboss can't understand

why he's not throwing back.

Strawboss starting to lose
a little bit of energy now.

He's slowing down.
He's not throwing fast.

He's not throwing hard.

He is really looking exhausted.

Oh, my goodness!
He's only got one left!

Nothing more than a pebble left!

What damage can he do
with this one?

Oh!

So -- Oh, my goodness!

Allie has come alive!

Allie has come alive![ Rock thuds ]

Look at this!
Look at the speed!

He's throwing!

Oh, look at him go!

He's got Strawboss
going back on the heel!

He's throwing!

What a speed -- Oh!

Maybe it was just a tactic!

Look at this![ Bell rings ]

Allie has done it![ Crowd cheering ]

He's done the impossible!

The crowd go wild!

Allie has done it!

Teale-Griffith: In craig maes,
you throw rocks from your pile.

When your pile is gone,

you can throw the rocks
your opponent has thrown at you.

But if your opponent
hasn't thrown any rocks,

when you're out...you're out.

Allie knew exactly
how many rocks Sior had.

And each time
Sior bounced one off his back,

Allie subtracted it.

Teale-Griffith:
To be able to keep track

in the heat of a match
requires the sharpest of minds.

And, of course,
Allie had spent months

making everyone think
he couldn't count.

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

[ Crowd cheering ]

Davies-Gruffudd:
After the knockout,

Allie stepped over the midline
and lifted Sior to his feet.

It was an incredible act
of sportsmanship.

And also an immediate
disqualification

per the rules of craig maes.

Announcer:
He's crossed the line!

He's gonna have to be
disqualified!

Why would he do that?

Teale-Griffith: In the weeks
that followed, it was discovered

that Allie had indeed arranged
to throw the fight.

But his pride got the better
of him.

So, that was --

Well, it was really
his only choice.

That or having his legs broken
by gangsters.

Oh, people in town
lost their shirts.

But they were so proud of him
for how he'd fought

that none of them cared.

Turner: There was a trial
for match fixing.

The judge found him guilty, and
he sentenced him to 20 years.

I'll tell you a story.
He sat in his local pub.

[ Laughs ]

There weren't all smiles
that afternoon,

for every face had held a frown.

But in a moment,
all would change

for the people of that town.

For their conquering hero
would return

to regain his golden crown.

'Twas the day that Allie
knocked Sior Strawboss...

What?

I love him,
but he's fucking useless.

[ Laughter ]

[ Group singing in Welsh ]

♪

♪

[ Tempo increases,
hands clapping ]

♪

[ Singing slows, ends ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

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