Original subtitles

♪ theme song playing ♪

♪ It's time for Animaniacs ♪

♪ And we're zany to the max ♪

♪ So just sit back and relax ♪

♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

- ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪ - ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪

♪ Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot ♪

♪ They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught ♪

♪ But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪

♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪

♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪

♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe ♪

♪ A brand new cast who tested well in focus group research ♪

♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪

♪ And ethnically diverse ♪

♪ The trolls will say we're so passé, but we did meta first ♪

♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

♪ You should see our new contracts ♪

♪ We're zany to the max, there's baloney in our slacks ♪

♪ We're animan-ey, totally insane-y ♪

♪ Fair pay for trainees ♪

♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪

♪

ATTENBOROUGH-LIKE NARRATOR: Morning on the Warner Brothers lot.

[snoring]

[phone ringing]

[phones ringing]

[exaggerated ringing]

♪

[click, whirring] [pouring]

It may be early,

but already a great migration has begun.

The perilous journey to this great hub of entertainment

has taken many of these employees in excess

of four hours.

Longer still

should they have been foolish enough to take the 101.

[bear-like roar]

[gate dings]

But high above the asphalt plains,

safe from the predators below...

[snoring] ...the Warners.

[alarm blaring, stops]

Some stir gently.

[ringing]

Others less so.

Others still have risen already in search of food.

This adolescent male requires

upwards of 20,000 calories per day to survive.

[yelps]

If he's to find sustenance, a descent

to the concrete savanna below may be his only recourse.

[whining, whimpering]

[roaring]

♪

Today, the Warners hunt.

Meanwhile, in the farthest flung reaches of the lot,

a rare sight.

Writers are nocturnal creatures.

These beasts are seldom seen...

[beeping] ...before the late afternoon.

But, summoned for a special task,

they've made it into the office by the crack of noon.

[door creaks]

The creative process is long and arduous.

WRITERS: Hm... [gasps]

NARRATOR: Many pitches will die in this room.

[sighs, grumbles]

But, eventually...

[rustling]

[all gasping]

♪

[confused grunts]

[rustling]

A character is born.

WRITERS: Woo...

Exhausted, and with their day's labors complete,

the writers will return to their burrows.

They may not be seen again for weeks.

With a newborn character safely tucked away,

our young writers' assistant

will begin the voyage across the lot

to that most enigmatic of biomes,

the animation department.

♪

The Warners. [sniffing]

Their search for food has brought them deep into the lot.

A Wakko's sense of smell is so exquisite,

he can detect a single drop of hot sauce

from over three miles away.

[squirting] Today,

Mexican is on the menu.

The siblings are sure to make their attempt at any moment.

Unless, of course, they're interrupted by...

the Ralph. [snoring]

I said, the Ralph!

[screaming] [crash]

Ah, he has spotted his prey.

The chase is afoot. [grumbling]

♪

[sizzling]

[snarls] [screeches]

[bull roar]

[tires screech]

[tire screech]

[hawk screeches]

♪

At last, the animation department.

Months without daylight.

Relentless scarcity.

The modest kitchenette

is barren of all but the blandest

long-expired snacks.

Here, in the heart of animation,

the deadline is king.

The porcine snout of the cunning wild boar,

the talons of the humble heron, and...

[cracking]

...the grace of the majestic hamster.

Hamster-Hog-Heron Boy

is a truly remarkable creation.

Drawn only moments ago,

our character takes his first

tentative steps in the world.

A little clumsy at first,

but he soon gets the hang of it.

[grunting]

But, if he is to survive in this harsh industry,

Hamster-Hog-Heron Boy requires

executive approval. [monkey ooking]

It now falls on the producer

to ensure safe delivery

of the fledgling piece of intellectual property.

Meanwhile, the Warners are nimble

but the Ralph,

fueled by the half-dozen pancakes he ate for breakfast,

won't give up this chase easily.

The Ralph has zeroed in on the oldest,

most frail member of the herd.

♪

His capture is now a mere formality,

An ancient form of camouflage unique to the cartoon world.

♪ Looney Tunes theme ♪

The pancake-eater becomes the pancake.

A pack of hungry executives will feast on the carcass

of once-popular comic book IP

for four, possibly even five sequels.

[monkey laughter]

[door opens]

The producer has arrived.

A display known as the pitch

will soon commence.

This is a crucial moment,

the difference between life

and death.

[cash register ringing]

♪ cinematic music ♪

The alpha of the pack is ready to pass judgment.

[squawks]

This ritualistic dance

is an intimidating display of authority.

The submissive posture of the producer

does little to stem the tirade.

This does not bode well for her... [jungle cat roar]

...nor for our nascent character. [squealing]

[echoing slam]

♪ somber music ♪

[bus approaching, brakes squeal]

[snorting]

[grunting]

The world of entertainment can be a cruel

and oftentimes unforgiving place. [sad grunt]

In an age of fractured markets,

discerning audiences,

and fierce competition,

only the strongest will survive.

But you can make a difference.

Watch Animaniacs.

Every day.

Yes, even the episodes without Pinky and the Brain.

So we may ensure the great cycle

of Warner Brothers production continues

for many seasons to come.

♪

[thunder]

♪ Pinky & The Brain theme ♪

[squeaking]

Gee, Brain. What do you wanna do tonight?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world! [thunder]

♪

♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ One is a genius ♪

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪

♪

[crank, clicking]

[ratcheting]

[rope straining]

I won! I caught the mouse!

Pinky,

stop playing that anti-mouse agitprop.

We have a busy day ahead of us. [Pinky gasps]

I'm going to college! I can't believe it!

I don't even remember taking the ABCs.

No, Pinky. The robotics department

at Acme Polytechnic Institute have devised an experiment

that involves a high-tech miniature car

that is designed to be driven by mice.

We will infiltrate the robotics lab and steal the car,

which I will then mass produce into an army of robotic cars to--

An army of robotic cars?

I like the one that's the color of a bumblebee, Brain.

What was its name? It rhymes with bumblebee.

No, Pinky, this is vastly different.

I shall lead the army of cars

under the gates of Fort Knox and steal the gold reserves,

- one bar at a time! - Fort Knox?

Didn't we already do that plan, Brain?

Yes, Pinky, but it was poorly conceived and executed.

Besides, as Rudolf Steiner once said,

one can ascend to a higher development

only by bringing rhythm and repetition into one's life.

Okay, I get the repetition part, but where's the rhythm?

Here.

♪

Good one, Brain! Ow, ow, ow, ow!

♪

Hello, and welcome to Acme Institute of Technology,

home of the Coyotes!

Can I get an "owooooo"?

PASSENGERS:

Owooooo!

- Really? - Oh, come on, Brain. It's school spirit.

Oh, please. Feeling solidarity with another person

simply because they're enrolled at the same institution

[snoring] is a form of rambunctious jingoism

as detestable as any other vulgar bias.

Well, aren't you a cranky little crash queen.

Okay. You've said your fun words at my expense.

Now come, Pinky. The robotics lab is in there.

If all goes according to plan, everyone will be at lunch,

and the lab will be empty.

What if they take a working lunch, Brain? You ever think of that?

[pop, balloon hiss]

[Brain grunting]

[beeping] [fizzling]

[bubbling]

[squeaking]

♪

There it is, Pinky.

[zapping]

Let's purloin this puppy and get out of here.

Hey.

I thought you said we couldn't have dogs

because you were allergic. [Brain groans]

Come on. Now's our chance!

♪

[both grunting]

[Pinky grunting]

I'll drive, Pinky. You navigate with this.

Got it! [chomp]

On second thought, you drive.

You mean Pinky make car go vroom now?

[clicking, whirring]

Egad, a countdown!

Oh, three years is plenty of time, Brain.

♪

Huzzah... [groaning]

Just drive, Pinky.

[whirring] Make a right,

- and then a quick left. - Right-o.

I mean left-o. Narf!

[whirring]

- Right again, Pinky. - Thanks, Brain.

No! Make a right!

[screams]

[beep, buzz]

[both grunting] [buzzing]

[Pinky whimpers] [gasps]

[buzzing]

- What did you do? - I don't know!

Forget it. Let's keep moving. Left turn, then a right.

[tires squeal] Left! Left!

- Your left or my left? - It's the same left!

[tires squeal] Stop yelling at me!

[beeping, buzzing]

[tires squeal]

Left!

[tires squeal]

Right!

[tires squeal]

Right!

[tires squeal]

I said right, you clangoring clodhopper!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

[tires squeal] [clanging]

[beeping getting higher] What is that incessant beeping?

[beeping]

[whimpering, gasping]

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

I think so, Brain,

but I've already tried pressing my belly's button,

- and my Tummy Butler isn't responding! - No, Pinky.

It appears the car's behavior

is linked to the driver's corticosterone levels.

Your stress is what's causing

the car to malfunction. [buzzing]

[beeping continues]

I have no idea what you said,

but it's stressing me out!

[wailing] [beeping]

Quick. We need to switch seats. I'll drive,

- and you do your best to navigate. - Okay!

[both struggling] It's stuck!

I suppose you'll have to keep driving, Pinky,

and you must remember to stay calm!

But I can't stay calm when you yell at me, Brain!

Very well. I shall do my best not to raise my voice.

[beeping slows, stops]

[whirring, crash]

- Oops-o! - Pinky!

[loud buzz] [sighs]

You're doing a fine job. [beep]

Thanks, Brain.

Good job, Pinky. You're doing great--

Left! [whirring]

- You're yelling... - Sorry!

[beep] Two minutes! Left.

[tires squealing] Right!

U-turn! [whimpering]

S-turn! [whimpers]

[beeping gets higher]

Aaah! [banging]

- [beeping] - Pinky! You need to stay calm.

I am trying, Brain!

Maybe if you talked in a baby voice,

the turns wouldn't sound so scary!

- You can't be-- - Now!

[beeping, whirring]

[hyperventilating]

[beeping, hissing]

[gasps]

Fine. [deep exhale]

[baby voice] Pwease make a weft, Pinky.

[whimpers, giggles]

[hissing] [beeping slows, stops]

Wight turn. Weft turn.

Aw, you sound just like a little baby!

[insane laughter]

- Woop-de-woop! - Uh-oh!

Sounds like someone made a whoopsie in their tootsie!

No! Woop-de-woop!

Loop-de-loop?! [fast beeping]

[whirring, tires screech]

[beeping] Oh dear! The baby voice isn't working!

Okay! Do Christopher Lloyd! His voice relaxes me, Brain!

Christopher Lloyd? Pinky,

I'm not very good at impressions. [buzzing]

Do it!

[imitating Christopher Lloyd]: Popularized in Coney Island at the dawn of the 20th century,

the loop-de-loop is a thrill ride...

[slower beeping] ...that sends its passengers

in a complete 360-degree circle!

- Whee! - Great Scott! We made it!

♪

- Uh-oh. - Morgan Freeman!

[imitating Morgan Freeman] Originally conceived by the Incas

in the pre-Columbian America,

the first rope bridges were an integral part of--

[both screaming]

[bubbling, hiss]

And it's gone.

♪

[both scream]

- Orson Welles! - Orson Welles?

I really don't have an Orson... [groaning]

Alright. [beeping]

[imitating Orson Welles]: There are only two emotions in a mouse-driven car

jumping through a ring of fire.

Boredom and terror.

[both screaming]

♪

- [groans] - [laughs] Tickle fight!

[laughing] Is this absolutely necessary?

[laughs] Oh, alright.

[Brain laughing]

Tickle tickle! [laughs]

[both laughing]

There's the exit, Pinky! Hurry! We only have 10 seconds!

[beep] [gates whirring]

We're not gonna make it!

- Pinky, calm down. - Okay. Give me your hand!

What? [groaning]

[beeping faster] [whirring]

[buzz]

Now!

[beeping continues]

Oh-- Hey!

[beeping slows down]

[tires squeal]

[beep]

♪

[beep] [creaking]

[beep]

[screaming]

[tires squeal]

[party horns blowing]

Well done, Pinky.

Now, head for the doors. We're almost there!

We make quite a team, my friend.

From now on, I'm going to be more conscious

of your emotional needs.

When we work together, nothing can st--

Oh, look! A balloon sword!

Pinky, look out!

[both scream]

[buzzing, beeping]

Pinky, you pea-brained palooka.

- You ruined the plan! - I'm sorry!

[beeping gets faster]

[both yell]

♪

Come, Pinky. We must prepare for tomorrow night.

[gulp] Why, Brain? What are we gonna do tomorrow night?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

♪

♪

♪

[door opens, chiming] YAKKO: Hi there.

Can you help us with this?

It's fan art.

Isn't it faboo? See?

They gave me a huge--

Anyway! [nervous laugh] We'd like to get it framed.

Sure. Let's see. With the frame, the mat, the glass, and the labor,

that'll be...

$282.

What? We don't have that kind of dough!

Besides, isn't money just a construct

built on a mutually agreed upon fiction,

like the value of an Ivy League education?

[gasps] How dare you!

I'll have you know I was skip

of the Harvard curling team.

Up front!

♪ heavy metal music ♪

Hard! Hard! Hard! Right up! Right up!

[chimes]

[laughter]

♪ Fair Harvard, we join in ♪

♪ Thy jubilee throne! ♪

[blows raspberry]

[laughter]

- MANAGER: Harvard! - Well,

guess I'd better curl this bad boy back up.

We can't leave this masterpiece unframed!

It's homemade, home-crafted, and home fries.

- [chomp] - That's it!

You just give me an idea.

I can just make us a frame. We'll DIY it!

DIY?

Back in the day, they called that "making stuff because you had to."

Well, now we're making stuff because it means I get to do a costume change!

♪ If shelling out fistfuls of cash ♪

♪ Makes you break out in a rash ♪

♪ Consider building something on your own ♪

[screams]

♪ You'll need some wood, a spinning blade, sandpaper, nails, paint ♪

♪ And first aid ♪

♪ Voilà. You see, you did it all for free ♪

♪ So, if you don't mind the sawdust ♪

♪ You can do it yourself ♪

♪ Admire your work and just do it yourself ♪

♪ It might look a little crooked ♪

♪ But you did it yourself ♪

♪ Self-reliant is the way to be ♪

♪ Do it, you can do it, you can do it yourself ♪

♪ I'm thinking next we make some pots ♪

♪ To plant my blue forget-me-nots ♪

♪ The state flower of Alaska, don't you know? ♪

♪ These store-bought urns can take a hike ♪

♪ They're blah and bland and look alike! ♪

♪ But mine is refined, it's one of a kind ♪

♪ If you've got enough hot glue, you can do it yourself ♪

♪ Paint over the cracks and just do it yourself ♪

♪ You'll make treasure out of trash if you just do it yourself ♪

♪ Don't worry about the holes you see ♪

♪ Do it, you can do it, you can do it yourself ♪

♪ This parking lot is pretty cool ♪

♪ But not as handy as a pool to dip our toes ♪

♪ Has always been our dream ♪

♪ With just a little elbow grease ♪

♪ We'll break ground on our masterpiece ♪

♪ Wow! This rehab is looking super fab ♪

♪ And if you want something done right, you must do it yourself ♪

♪ Get tools from your neighbor ♪

♪ And do it yourself ♪

♪ If you feel like wasting time, then you can do it yourself ♪

♪ DIY is our ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ And it's totally free! ♪

See, boys?

Isn't DIY fun?

MAN: I wouldn't say that.

♪

Okay. Okay. Come on, folks.

We were just trying to accomplish something with our own hands.

So are we.

[all grunt] [door slams]

Oh no! My beautiful,

terribly made frame!

Well, I guess the next time we want something for free,

we'll just ask our fans to do it

and disguise it as a social media initiative.

Sounds good to me.

♪

♪

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