Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,922 --> 00:00:05,745
Good morning, Thor.
What's going on here?
2
00:00:05,770 --> 00:00:07,256
Jay's taking the guests fishing,
3
00:00:07,281 --> 00:00:09,272
then he's going to cook for
them whatever they catch.
4
00:00:09,296 --> 00:00:11,576
Part of new Experience Package.
5
00:00:11,628 --> 00:00:13,427
They're calling it
"Bait-to-Plate."
6
00:00:13,452 --> 00:00:14,675
My coinage.
7
00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:17,094
Oh, my God, I think
I got something.
8
00:00:17,119 --> 00:00:19,346
You guys
are gonna eat so well tonight.
9
00:00:21,842 --> 00:00:24,417
Is that
a... human skull?
10
00:00:24,497 --> 00:00:27,111
Of course it is.
11
00:00:27,136 --> 00:00:30,584
That probably end
of Bait-to-Plate.
12
00:00:35,978 --> 00:00:38,432
Okay, so, some pretty
big ghost news.
13
00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:40,393
We finally heard back
from the coroner,
14
00:00:40,418 --> 00:00:42,221
who, frankly, we have spoken to
15
00:00:42,369 --> 00:00:44,652
way too many times
since we moved in.
16
00:00:44,677 --> 00:00:46,412
- How is Marvin?
- Oh, he's good.
17
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:47,715
Yeah, Michelle's
good, kids are good.
18
00:00:47,739 --> 00:00:49,515
Aw.Girl, can we get on with it?
19
00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:51,653
Okay, well, not a huge
shock, since we all know
20
00:00:51,678 --> 00:00:54,549
his finance bros dumped
his body in the lake, but
21
00:00:54,574 --> 00:00:57,427
the skull that was found
turns out to be Trevor's.
22
00:00:57,452 --> 00:01:00,210
Knew it! You see that
chiseled jaw bone?
23
00:01:00,235 --> 00:01:01,823
You could slice brisket
with that thing.
24
00:01:01,848 --> 00:01:05,620
Congratulations, Trevor,
or my condolences.
25
00:01:05,645 --> 00:01:07,838
As an etiquette stickler,
I confess I'm at a loss.
26
00:01:07,897 --> 00:01:09,100
Sam, there's
an older couple
27
00:01:09,124 --> 00:01:10,446
walking in, arguing about where
28
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,185
to get the best
bagel in Manhattan.
29
00:01:12,210 --> 00:01:13,651
It's obviously Ess-a-Bagel.
30
00:01:13,676 --> 00:01:15,302
Yeah, that's what the guy said.
31
00:01:15,327 --> 00:01:17,219
What are
you talking about?
32
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,262
Russ & Daughters?
Are you a tourist?
33
00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:22,374
We're both tourists, Lenny.
We live in New Jersey.
34
00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:24,852
Oh, my God. It's my parents.
35
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:26,720
The mishpucha?
36
00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:29,454
We have all been
here way too long.
37
00:01:31,238 --> 00:01:32,509
What did I tell you?
38
00:01:32,542 --> 00:01:33,666
You weren't lying.
39
00:01:33,691 --> 00:01:35,347
These are some of the
best ants I've ever seen.
40
00:01:35,371 --> 00:01:37,475
And you know your boy
Pete's seen some ants.
41
00:01:37,578 --> 00:01:39,862
Well, then, welcome to the
ant-watching club, Peter.
42
00:01:39,979 --> 00:01:41,521
We meet Wednesdays, Saturdays,
43
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:43,474
and any time Samantha
brings us an apple core.
44
00:01:43,499 --> 00:01:44,438
Uh, Nigel,
45
00:01:44,463 --> 00:01:45,890
can we get back to our walk?
46
00:01:45,915 --> 00:01:47,293
I'm not interested
in watching ants,
47
00:01:47,317 --> 00:01:49,512
or having your ex-lover
stare at me weirdly.
48
00:01:49,537 --> 00:01:51,249
This is just how I stare.
49
00:01:51,275 --> 00:01:52,907
I know no other way.
50
00:01:53,429 --> 00:01:55,379
Okay, we can go.
51
00:01:55,444 --> 00:01:57,417
But if Kevin or any of the ants
52
00:01:57,442 --> 00:01:59,925
from the McGregor clan show up,
you come get me immediately.
53
00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:02,283
Like I wouldn't.
54
00:02:02,308 --> 00:02:03,781
Enjoy your walk.
55
00:02:03,809 --> 00:02:05,611
I'll be here waiting,
56
00:02:05,636 --> 00:02:07,949
something I'm very good at.
57
00:02:09,446 --> 00:02:12,645
Man, I am loving it
here in the shed.
58
00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:15,161
We are so lucky Nigel
and Isaac started dating.
59
00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:17,720
We'll see how long that lasts.
60
00:02:18,247 --> 00:02:19,681
Excuse me?
61
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,837
Oh, no, I shouldn't
say anything more.
62
00:02:21,862 --> 00:02:23,274
I mean, if I told you
63
00:02:23,299 --> 00:02:25,752
Nigel and I liaisoned
on Christmas Eve,
64
00:02:25,777 --> 00:02:27,709
it'd surely get back to...
65
00:02:27,734 --> 00:02:29,538
Oops. Pretend you didn't hear.
66
00:02:30,313 --> 00:02:32,351
What do you mean "liaisoned"?
67
00:02:32,411 --> 00:02:34,784
I guess you'll just have
to ask Nigel, won't you?
68
00:02:35,228 --> 00:02:37,120
Let those lips
tell you themselves
69
00:02:37,145 --> 00:02:39,248
what they've been up to.
70
00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:42,805
And then
he went missing,
71
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,846
and they never found the body.
72
00:02:45,222 --> 00:02:48,115
At least now we finally
have his remains.
73
00:02:48,315 --> 00:02:50,020
It's a little bit of closure.
74
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:53,373
Anyway, we thought we'd just
stop by to walk the grounds,
75
00:02:53,398 --> 00:02:56,344
you know, where he's
been all this time.
76
00:02:56,369 --> 00:02:57,871
Wow, this
is depressing.
77
00:02:57,896 --> 00:02:59,839
Sam, jump in with
something here, please.
78
00:02:59,864 --> 00:03:01,756
Uh, do you have any pictures?
79
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,501
I know we'd love to
see pictures of Trevor.
80
00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:04,248
Mm-hmm.
81
00:03:04,273 --> 00:03:07,252
Oh, I have some on
my phone.
82
00:03:07,277 --> 00:03:10,341
Our-our-our son Jeremy
uploaded them from my cloud.
83
00:03:10,366 --> 00:03:12,902
Ooh. What's he up to?
Wh-What does Jeremy do?
84
00:03:13,177 --> 00:03:15,810
Well, he sleeps till noon and
calls when he needs money.
85
00:03:15,835 --> 00:03:17,961
That checks out.
86
00:03:17,986 --> 00:03:20,691
Oh, here's Trevor as a toddler.
87
00:03:20,716 --> 00:03:23,429
Look at that punim.And
that tiny shmeckel.
88
00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,963
Hey, that's a respectable
shmeckel for a two-year-old.
89
00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,773
Ooh, Respectable Shmeckel.
90
00:03:27,798 --> 00:03:28,812
Good band name.
91
00:03:28,837 --> 00:03:30,841
Uh, have you ever worn pants?
92
00:03:30,866 --> 00:03:32,108
Wait a minute. Is that him
93
00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:34,334
with a cardboard
cutout of Mel Gibson?
94
00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:37,537
Yeah, it's his bar
mitzvah.
95
00:03:37,562 --> 00:03:39,194
The theme was Mel Gibson movies.
96
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,829
Yeah,
we-we didn't know
97
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,096
about Mel yet at that time.
98
00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:43,622
What's to know? He's awesome.
99
00:03:43,648 --> 00:03:46,205
Ooh, ask if they're still
in my childhood home.
100
00:03:46,232 --> 00:03:48,685
Do you still live in the
home where Trevor grew up?
101
00:03:49,199 --> 00:03:51,051
I still do.
102
00:03:51,076 --> 00:03:53,709
Lenny moved into a
condo after the divorce.
103
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,001
What? Oh. I'm sorry.
You're not married.
104
00:03:56,026 --> 00:03:57,488
No, it's okay.
105
00:03:57,513 --> 00:03:58,885
It's-it's-it's been a long time.
106
00:03:58,910 --> 00:04:00,882
I come from a broken home?
107
00:04:02,359 --> 00:04:04,882
I'm a ghost of divorce?
108
00:04:05,783 --> 00:04:08,519
Ooh, honey, this is one
109
00:04:08,544 --> 00:04:09,774
juicy conundrum.
110
00:04:09,799 --> 00:04:12,346
Do we let Isaac know
what Jenkins told y'all,
111
00:04:12,371 --> 00:04:14,686
or do we let him live
in blissful ignorance?
112
00:04:14,711 --> 00:04:17,869
Peter, as our resident cuckold,
what do you think we should do?
113
00:04:17,894 --> 00:04:20,487
Would you have wanted to know
about your wife cheating on you?
114
00:04:20,658 --> 00:04:22,330
Look, being totally honest,
115
00:04:22,356 --> 00:04:24,853
finding out was one of the
worst days of my afterlife.
116
00:04:24,878 --> 00:04:26,470
I kind of wish I never knew.
117
00:04:26,495 --> 00:04:29,599
But if Isaac knew, at least
he'd be able to deal with it.
118
00:04:29,624 --> 00:04:31,726
Deal with what? Hi.
119
00:04:31,751 --> 00:04:33,675
Hmm? We're trying to figure
out whether to tell Isaac
120
00:04:33,699 --> 00:04:34,981
that Nigel cheated on him.
121
00:04:35,532 --> 00:04:36,791
What?
122
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:38,682
I know. It's a toughie.
123
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:42,168
Look, Isaac, um, after
you left the shed,
124
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,437
Jenkins told Thor and I
that on Christmas Eve,
125
00:04:45,462 --> 00:04:47,264
when you and Nigel
were briefly broken up,
126
00:04:47,529 --> 00:04:51,294
Jenkins and Nigel... liaisoned.
127
00:04:51,762 --> 00:04:53,264
What does that mean?
128
00:04:53,289 --> 00:04:54,754
He mentioned
something about lips
129
00:04:54,779 --> 00:04:57,035
and then did this thing
with his eyebrows,
130
00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:58,342
and it didn't seem great.
131
00:04:58,367 --> 00:05:00,780
And that's coming
from a famous cuckold.
132
00:05:00,943 --> 00:05:03,649
Hey, your spouse cheated, too!
133
00:05:03,674 --> 00:05:05,216
I'm a lady. That's
to be expected.
134
00:05:05,241 --> 00:05:06,953
Your thing's just weird and sad.
135
00:05:08,679 --> 00:05:10,171
I can't believe this.
136
00:05:10,196 --> 00:05:12,472
My parents are divorced,
Mel Gibson's a monster.
137
00:05:12,497 --> 00:05:14,480
What the hell is
going on in the world?
138
00:05:14,505 --> 00:05:18,349
I get it. It was tough for me
when my parents got divorced.
139
00:05:19,412 --> 00:05:21,549
Oh, was sort of expecting
a comforting follow-up.
140
00:05:21,575 --> 00:05:23,467
I guess we're just
getting information.
141
00:05:23,492 --> 00:05:25,929
It doesn't make any sense.
They were the perfect couple.
142
00:05:25,954 --> 00:05:27,917
And it seemed like there
was still a spark, right?
143
00:05:27,974 --> 00:05:29,826
That's the thing about divorce.
144
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:32,594
There's those moments where the
two people see each other again
145
00:05:32,619 --> 00:05:34,161
at some family event, like a...
146
00:05:34,186 --> 00:05:35,949
a graduation or a dance recital,
147
00:05:35,974 --> 00:05:38,417
and you think there's a chance
they could get back together.
148
00:05:40,323 --> 00:05:42,816
Again, it just never
takes that uplifting turn.
149
00:05:43,017 --> 00:05:45,249
But what if the
recital didn't end?
150
00:05:45,309 --> 00:05:47,551
Yes. Wait, what do you mean?
151
00:05:47,893 --> 00:05:50,046
We throw a memorial... for me.
152
00:05:50,246 --> 00:05:53,450
And my parents stay here at the
B and B for the whole weekend
153
00:05:53,475 --> 00:05:55,407
while we manipulate
them back into love.
154
00:05:55,432 --> 00:05:57,193
Are you suggesting
we Parent Trap them
155
00:05:57,218 --> 00:05:58,589
from beyond the grave?
156
00:05:58,614 --> 00:06:00,161
Okay, I don't like
where this is headed.
157
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,727
That's exactly what
I'm suggesting.
158
00:06:01,836 --> 00:06:04,812
Using insider information from
their dearly departed son,
159
00:06:04,837 --> 00:06:07,311
you will create the
perfect romantic scenario.
160
00:06:07,336 --> 00:06:09,089
Oh. And before you know it...
161
00:06:09,114 --> 00:06:11,667
Boom. The mishpucha
is back together.
162
00:06:11,922 --> 00:06:14,213
I don't know that this'll
work, but we got to try.
163
00:06:14,238 --> 00:06:16,261
Okay, time-out.
164
00:06:16,495 --> 00:06:18,688
Can we just let
these old people be?
165
00:06:18,713 --> 00:06:20,655
I mean, they got
divorced for a reason.
166
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,172
Yeah, the reason was me.
167
00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:24,045
You heard them. They split
up right after my death.
168
00:06:24,069 --> 00:06:26,560
If this is my fault, then I
need to be the one who fixes it.
169
00:06:26,585 --> 00:06:27,866
Trevor thinks it was his fault,
170
00:06:27,891 --> 00:06:29,213
and he wants a chance to fix it.
171
00:06:29,238 --> 00:06:30,800
You're not gonna deny
him that, are you?
172
00:06:31,868 --> 00:06:34,640
Okay, fine. Let's set a
parent trap for these two.
173
00:06:34,665 --> 00:06:35,588
Very difficult
174
00:06:35,613 --> 00:06:38,368
to build trap big enough
to capture both parents.
175
00:06:38,393 --> 00:06:40,756
But if you succeed,
176
00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:43,658
you and small man
eat like kings.
177
00:06:44,097 --> 00:06:45,067
What is wrong with you?
178
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,370
How's Operation
Parent Trap going?
179
00:06:50,399 --> 00:06:52,122
Not exactly sparks yet.
180
00:06:52,147 --> 00:06:55,426
So, Sunday, maybe
we take 87 back?
181
00:06:55,976 --> 00:06:57,939
That sounds fine.
182
00:06:58,403 --> 00:07:00,870
Talk does not get much
smaller than that.
183
00:07:00,895 --> 00:07:02,479
Sam, get in here!
184
00:07:02,504 --> 00:07:04,670
These alte kakers
need wine, stat!
185
00:07:04,695 --> 00:07:06,278
Oh, this is so nerve-racking.
186
00:07:06,303 --> 00:07:07,955
If these two don't
end up together,
187
00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:09,779
Trevor will neverbe born!
188
00:07:10,216 --> 00:07:12,436
We never should have showed
her Back to the Future.
189
00:07:12,461 --> 00:07:13,701
Here is some wine.
190
00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:15,225
Ah.Oh, thank you.
191
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,436
Something smells delicious.
What are we having?
192
00:07:17,735 --> 00:07:19,185
It's red
snapper. Red snapper, Ma.
193
00:07:19,209 --> 00:07:20,840
They had it every year
on their anniversary.
194
00:07:20,864 --> 00:07:23,371
We used to have that every
year on our anniversary.
195
00:07:23,396 --> 00:07:26,195
That's because, on our
honeymoon, we went to Acapulco.
196
00:07:26,220 --> 00:07:29,325
Right. And the two things
on the menu at the resort
197
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:31,239
was pork and red snapper.
198
00:07:31,264 --> 00:07:33,674
Well, this thawing seems
like a very positive sign.
199
00:07:34,304 --> 00:07:36,284
Now play "The Best of
Times" from the musical
200
00:07:36,309 --> 00:07:38,158
La Cage aux Folles.
201
00:07:40,008 --> 00:07:41,987
Oh, my God. Esther,
do you hear it?
202
00:07:42,012 --> 00:07:43,410
This was our song.
203
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:46,987
We used to sing this song
at every family occasion.
204
00:07:47,012 --> 00:07:48,731
Including Trevor's bar mitzvah.
205
00:07:48,756 --> 00:07:52,204
I insisted we all do it in an
Australian accent to honor Mel.
206
00:07:52,579 --> 00:07:53,988
What a lovely tradition.
207
00:07:54,013 --> 00:07:54,813
It was.
208
00:07:54,838 --> 00:07:56,118
It was.
209
00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:57,732
We had some good times.
210
00:07:57,757 --> 00:07:59,557
Didn't we, Esther?
211
00:07:59,932 --> 00:08:01,261
We sure did, Lenny.
212
00:08:01,286 --> 00:08:03,358
Trevor, it's working.Uh-huh.
213
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,793
These two are gonna shtup.
214
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,617
Yay!
You're going to exist.
215
00:08:09,566 --> 00:08:11,154
Nigel,
216
00:08:11,179 --> 00:08:12,211
you should know
217
00:08:12,236 --> 00:08:15,532
that Jenkins has been spreading
the most vile of rumors,
218
00:08:15,557 --> 00:08:18,706
trying to drive a wedge
between us. Is he?
219
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:22,400
He told my friends that you and
he liaisoned on Christmas Eve.
220
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,517
Need I remind you
221
00:08:24,542 --> 00:08:26,821
that we were temporarily
broken up at that point?
222
00:08:27,303 --> 00:08:28,784
So it's true?
223
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,409
We were on a respite.
224
00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:32,078
A respite?
225
00:08:32,103 --> 00:08:34,844
We were estranged
a mere 15 hours.
226
00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:37,137
You refused to even kiss me.
227
00:08:37,175 --> 00:08:38,800
You injured my pride.
228
00:08:38,825 --> 00:08:40,804
I can't even look
at you right now.
229
00:08:40,906 --> 00:08:42,705
We're finished.
230
00:08:43,091 --> 00:08:44,851
Again, we were on a respite.
231
00:08:45,051 --> 00:08:47,200
A respite!
232
00:08:48,216 --> 00:08:50,545
So, this is where we watch
movies and just relax.
233
00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:51,346
Ooh.
234
00:08:51,371 --> 00:08:53,161
We thought maybe you could
enjoy your dessert here.
235
00:08:53,185 --> 00:08:55,041
Thank you so much.
236
00:08:55,066 --> 00:08:57,360
Would you guys like
to watch a movie?
237
00:08:57,450 --> 00:08:59,441
Oh, Jay's getting on
board with attempting
238
00:08:59,466 --> 00:09:01,616
to have your parents
fornicate. That's nice.
239
00:09:01,662 --> 00:09:04,000
Okay, Sam, now offer to
put on The Horse Whisperer.
240
00:09:04,025 --> 00:09:05,565
It was a Robert Redford
film that my mother always
241
00:09:05,589 --> 00:09:07,346
referred to as "sensual."
242
00:09:07,371 --> 00:09:08,940
You know what movie I watched
243
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,435
the other night that was
good? The Horse Whisperer.
244
00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:12,999
Uh-oh.
245
00:09:13,024 --> 00:09:14,913
Oh, I know that one.
246
00:09:14,938 --> 00:09:16,361
Good choice.
247
00:09:16,386 --> 00:09:18,114
Your mom's all horned up.
248
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:21,224
I don't think we ever made it
through that one all the way.
249
00:09:21,248 --> 00:09:22,608
Right? No.
250
00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:25,123
Well, we should
probably leave quickly.
251
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,948
We're gonna leave you two alone.
252
00:09:30,713 --> 00:09:31,892
Oh, Lenny, you still
253
00:09:31,917 --> 00:09:33,107
got those moves.
254
00:09:33,132 --> 00:09:34,501
And you got the
sexiest shoulders
255
00:09:34,526 --> 00:09:37,151
this side of the Long
Island Expressway.
256
00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:39,586
Ah, excuse me.
257
00:09:39,611 --> 00:09:41,060
Seriously?
258
00:09:41,085 --> 00:09:42,895
Well, it's work.
Right-right now?
259
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,889
No, Dad, no. No,
no, no, no, no!
260
00:09:44,914 --> 00:09:47,543
Uh, yeah, hi, hi.
Lenny Lefkowitz here.
261
00:09:47,568 --> 00:09:50,145
No, it's a great time.
262
00:09:50,185 --> 00:09:51,987
Oh, she did not like that.
263
00:09:52,012 --> 00:09:54,071
Unbelievable.
264
00:09:54,145 --> 00:09:55,385
No, Mom.
265
00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:57,559
Come back, make love to Dad!
266
00:09:57,975 --> 00:10:01,124
I can't believe
I ever trusted Nigel.
267
00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:04,667
What's up with Commander Crap
over here looking all sad?
268
00:10:04,716 --> 00:10:07,645
Isaac now second most
famous cuckold in house.
269
00:10:08,078 --> 00:10:08,928
Really?
270
00:10:08,953 --> 00:10:10,611
Oh, how do I get past this?
271
00:10:10,636 --> 00:10:11,665
Well,
272
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:14,214
in my experience, nothing gets
you over the last like the next.
273
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,870
You got to go
smooch someone else.
274
00:10:15,895 --> 00:10:18,224
Yeah, get some strange.
275
00:10:18,599 --> 00:10:21,218
I learned that term from
the water heater repairman.
276
00:10:21,418 --> 00:10:24,617
It means unfamiliar
genitals, huh?
277
00:10:24,817 --> 00:10:25,837
Catchy.
278
00:10:26,036 --> 00:10:28,576
What strange is even
available to me?
279
00:10:28,776 --> 00:10:31,365
I mean, other than Jenkins,
which... no, thank you.
280
00:10:31,390 --> 00:10:33,799
Thor do know of other option.
281
00:10:33,824 --> 00:10:36,623
Other day, when
yelling from window
282
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,292
to son Bjorn, I learn
283
00:10:38,319 --> 00:10:41,277
there is a gay Puritan ghost
also living at Farnsbys'.
284
00:10:41,302 --> 00:10:42,671
Perhaps since Puritan ghost
285
00:10:42,696 --> 00:10:46,245
is gay and Isaac also
gay, you two might...
286
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:47,861
get along.
287
00:10:47,886 --> 00:10:49,878
Thor, that's pretty insulting
to suggest two people would be
288
00:10:49,902 --> 00:10:52,028
into each other just
because they're both gay.
289
00:10:52,053 --> 00:10:52,983
Yes.
290
00:10:53,008 --> 00:10:54,808
Thank you, Sasappis.
291
00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:58,949
Now... the Farnsbys', you say?
292
00:10:58,974 --> 00:11:01,034
Sam, my dad blew it.
293
00:11:01,059 --> 00:11:03,205
He took a phone call at
a very inopportune time,
294
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,170
which my mom was always annoyed
about when they were married.
295
00:11:05,194 --> 00:11:07,559
That's not good.
Trevor's dad blew it.
296
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,473
Uh, sorry, No Pants! They're
leaving right after the memorial
297
00:11:10,592 --> 00:11:12,594
tomorrow, so we have to get
something to happen tonight.
298
00:11:12,618 --> 00:11:15,126
Babe, I think we got to
take the "L" on this, okay?
299
00:11:15,151 --> 00:11:17,176
We tried to get two
elderly people to smush
300
00:11:17,201 --> 00:11:18,740
at their son's memorial weekend,
301
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,655
and we just didn't
quite get there.
302
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,261
Their divorce is my fault.
303
00:11:22,286 --> 00:11:24,365
If I don't do everything that
I can to solve this right now,
304
00:11:24,388 --> 00:11:26,271
I am never going to
get another chance.
305
00:11:26,508 --> 00:11:27,967
I don't like these
long silences.
306
00:11:27,992 --> 00:11:29,792
They're never good.
307
00:11:29,817 --> 00:11:32,290
Okay, so, in The Parent
Trap, they sent a message
308
00:11:32,315 --> 00:11:34,335
to the one parent to get them
to show up at the same place
309
00:11:34,359 --> 00:11:36,300
where they knew the other
parent was going to be.
310
00:11:36,325 --> 00:11:37,359
Okay.
311
00:11:37,384 --> 00:11:38,754
What's your point?
312
00:11:38,779 --> 00:11:40,359
You could sneak
into your mom's room
313
00:11:40,384 --> 00:11:41,973
and use her phone
to text your dad
314
00:11:41,998 --> 00:11:43,025
and invite him over.
315
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,790
You want him to sext his dad?!
316
00:11:45,815 --> 00:11:47,794
I wouldn't put it like that.
317
00:11:48,318 --> 00:11:49,558
I love it.
318
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,902
But, yes, I want
him to sext his dad.
319
00:11:51,927 --> 00:11:53,142
You're a genius.
320
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,639
We're going to hell.
321
00:12:00,295 --> 00:12:02,339
So, how did it go?
322
00:12:02,362 --> 00:12:04,388
I think it went well.
Found my mom's phone,
323
00:12:04,413 --> 00:12:06,650
sexted my dad, at which
point he came over.
324
00:12:06,675 --> 00:12:09,046
And then, obviously, I
got the hell out of there.
325
00:12:09,319 --> 00:12:11,003
Well, they look pretty cozy.
326
00:12:11,028 --> 00:12:14,135
- Oh, baby, I can let you know.
- Wait.
327
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,249
Are you also just interpreting
their body language, or...?
328
00:12:16,273 --> 00:12:17,497
Uh-uh, honey. I saw them.
329
00:12:17,522 --> 00:12:18,449
Wanted to make sure
330
00:12:18,474 --> 00:12:20,759
it happened for
you, Trev. Congrats.
331
00:12:20,784 --> 00:12:22,025
You watched my parents do it?
332
00:12:22,205 --> 00:12:23,395
It was beautiful.
333
00:12:23,616 --> 00:12:24,856
Seriously? You, too?
334
00:12:25,047 --> 00:12:26,365
Cards on the table.
I was gonna leave,
335
00:12:26,389 --> 00:12:27,670
but then Hetty called me a wimp.
336
00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:29,079
It was
very educational.
337
00:12:29,205 --> 00:12:31,837
Esther put on quite
the master class.
338
00:12:32,111 --> 00:12:33,517
Uh, hey, Sam,
339
00:12:33,632 --> 00:12:36,954
I'd like you to meet Tara Reid.
340
00:12:37,154 --> 00:12:38,965
I'm here for Trevor's memorial.
341
00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:40,622
My parents are boning,
342
00:12:40,647 --> 00:12:42,934
and Tara Reid is at my
memorial? Best day ever!
343
00:12:42,959 --> 00:12:44,884
It's very nice to meet you.
344
00:12:44,909 --> 00:12:46,320
Who is Tara Reid?
345
00:12:46,345 --> 00:12:47,846
We've been through this.
346
00:12:47,871 --> 00:12:49,807
She was a huge movie star.
347
00:12:49,832 --> 00:12:51,425
I was at her birthday
at The Surf Lodge.
348
00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:52,551
Ah.She was going to be
349
00:12:52,576 --> 00:12:54,075
my celebrity out if I ever got
350
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,135
into a long-term relationship.
351
00:12:55,159 --> 00:12:57,156
Uh, Trevor's brother
Jeremy hired Tara
352
00:12:57,317 --> 00:12:58,868
off of an app called Pop-In?
353
00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:02,170
Which is kind of like Cameo,
but for in-person appearances.
354
00:13:02,370 --> 00:13:04,092
I don't know any of those words.
355
00:13:04,292 --> 00:13:06,963
My brother couldn't
make it so he sent Tara Reid?
356
00:13:07,339 --> 00:13:09,911
Is that a bro or what?
357
00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:11,496
This is Isaac!
358
00:13:11,696 --> 00:13:15,019
Other homosexual ghost
I tell you about!
359
00:13:15,219 --> 00:13:16,890
Hello, George!
360
00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:18,681
Hello, Isaac!
361
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:20,987
Okay, Thor go now!
362
00:13:21,012 --> 00:13:23,334
Let you scream in private!
363
00:13:25,441 --> 00:13:29,634
So, George, tell
me about yourself!
364
00:13:29,718 --> 00:13:33,440
Enough chitchat! Let's
get to the naughty stuff!
365
00:13:33,641 --> 00:13:36,622
Oh, that's a bit forward!
366
00:13:36,823 --> 00:13:39,369
Aren't you a
Puritan?! Yes, well,
367
00:13:39,394 --> 00:13:41,896
when I died and didn't
immediately go to heaven,
368
00:13:42,086 --> 00:13:44,157
I reconsidered some things!
369
00:13:44,297 --> 00:13:46,176
I'm a bad, bad boy now!
370
00:13:46,761 --> 00:13:49,910
And I want to hear what
you're wearing, sir!
371
00:13:50,925 --> 00:13:55,450
You know, it's all a
bit fast for me, George!
372
00:13:55,810 --> 00:13:57,661
How about reading?!
373
00:13:58,036 --> 00:13:59,317
Are you a fan?!
374
00:13:59,342 --> 00:14:01,493
Have you read The Iliad?!
375
00:14:01,518 --> 00:14:03,925
What did you say
about an oily lad?!
376
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:06,667
Describe him... slowly!
377
00:14:22,968 --> 00:14:25,460
Well, looks like a life
well lived, Trevor.
378
00:14:25,814 --> 00:14:27,745
Thank you all for coming.
379
00:14:27,770 --> 00:14:31,364
Losing a child is the worst
thing any parent can go through.
380
00:14:32,448 --> 00:14:34,760
But being here today
with all of you
381
00:14:34,785 --> 00:14:39,219
who loved and cared
about our son,
382
00:14:39,872 --> 00:14:42,420
it makes me feel like
he's here in the room.
383
00:14:44,421 --> 00:14:46,117
We love you, son.
384
00:14:46,237 --> 00:14:48,088
I love you guys.
385
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,906
Hey, Trev.
386
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,481
The basement ghosts
send their condolences.
387
00:14:52,681 --> 00:14:54,923
I'm trying to listen
to my parents talk.
388
00:14:55,123 --> 00:14:56,974
Whoa. Are those your folks?
389
00:14:57,174 --> 00:14:59,145
I saw them boning last night!
390
00:14:59,345 --> 00:15:01,562
Not only
391
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,442
has this been a loving
tribute to our son.
392
00:15:04,749 --> 00:15:09,032
It's been a reminder of what
is really important in life.
393
00:15:09,232 --> 00:15:10,723
I'd like to say a few words.
394
00:15:11,853 --> 00:15:13,384
Tara Reid is giving a speech.
395
00:15:13,585 --> 00:15:15,126
Sure. Why not?
396
00:15:16,777 --> 00:15:18,788
First of all, I'm
excited to tell you
397
00:15:18,988 --> 00:15:21,660
that Pop-In and Taco
Bell have teamed up
398
00:15:21,860 --> 00:15:23,491
for a very exciting offer.
399
00:15:23,691 --> 00:15:25,322
Anyone that leaves
here from the memorial
400
00:15:25,522 --> 00:15:27,674
and mentions Trevor's
name at the drive-through
401
00:15:27,874 --> 00:15:29,245
gets a free large drink.
402
00:15:29,445 --> 00:15:32,677
Aw. That's nice.
403
00:15:32,785 --> 00:15:35,117
I didn't really
know Trevor that well, but
404
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:37,250
he seemed like a really
warm and wonderful guy.
405
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:40,884
And he was a bit
of a player.Yes.
406
00:15:40,909 --> 00:15:42,833
And the apple doesn't
fall far from the tree.
407
00:15:43,023 --> 00:15:46,956
Right, Lenny? He slipped me his
business card in the kitchen.
408
00:15:47,917 --> 00:15:49,547
Are you kidding me, Lenny?
409
00:15:49,738 --> 00:15:50,668
Oh, God.
410
00:15:50,709 --> 00:15:52,149
It was a business card.
411
00:15:52,301 --> 00:15:53,371
Like she's really in the market
412
00:15:53,395 --> 00:15:55,340
for wholesale lighting supplies?
413
00:15:56,571 --> 00:15:57,853
You never know.
414
00:15:57,972 --> 00:15:59,123
Oops.
415
00:15:59,268 --> 00:16:00,556
I wanted to let you
know that I've decided
416
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:01,771
to forgive you.
417
00:16:02,146 --> 00:16:04,427
I've realized that what
we have is special.
418
00:16:04,452 --> 00:16:05,693
I agree.
419
00:16:05,718 --> 00:16:08,825
Sometimes it takes a
meaningless Christmas liaison
420
00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:11,437
or screaming obscenities
with a pervy Puritan
421
00:16:11,462 --> 00:16:13,403
to realize what
you've had all along.
422
00:16:13,603 --> 00:16:15,364
Oh, you heard that?
423
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,774
Paul Revere never
screamed so loudly.
424
00:16:17,799 --> 00:16:19,416
Traitorous scoundrel.
425
00:16:19,441 --> 00:16:20,788
Okay, let's not
go down that road.
426
00:16:20,822 --> 00:16:22,369
The point is, Nigel,
427
00:16:22,394 --> 00:16:24,110
is that you are a gentleman.
428
00:16:24,165 --> 00:16:25,991
And that is a very rare thing,
429
00:16:26,016 --> 00:16:28,032
and I could not have
chosen a better person
430
00:16:28,057 --> 00:16:30,124
to be stuck with
together forever.
431
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:32,480
But, moving forward,
I don't think
432
00:16:32,505 --> 00:16:34,131
you should continue
to live with Jenkins.
433
00:16:34,156 --> 00:16:35,957
Not because I don't trust you,
434
00:16:35,982 --> 00:16:38,049
but because he's
a son of a bitch.
435
00:16:38,249 --> 00:16:40,270
That I cannot argue with.
436
00:16:40,470 --> 00:16:42,221
So what are you proposing?
437
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:48,280
Well, I guess I'm saying that
you should not live in the shed
438
00:16:48,305 --> 00:16:52,148
but rather in the
mansion with me.
439
00:16:53,198 --> 00:16:56,911
You mean like in your room?
440
00:16:56,998 --> 00:16:59,392
I mean like in a nearby room.
441
00:16:59,417 --> 00:17:01,219
Don't want to rush things.
442
00:17:01,244 --> 00:17:03,265
We are really
baby-stepping this thing.
443
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:06,447
Well, we have eternity.
444
00:17:06,910 --> 00:17:09,229
All right, Isaac, I accept.
445
00:17:09,254 --> 00:17:10,755
Ooh, what about the library?
446
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,021
I quite fancy that comfy couch.
447
00:17:13,046 --> 00:17:14,367
Are there ants in there?
448
00:17:14,392 --> 00:17:17,441
No, but Jay dropped
part of a sandwich
449
00:17:17,466 --> 00:17:19,290
behind that couch
a few weeks ago,
450
00:17:19,315 --> 00:17:21,817
so at night there are roaches.
451
00:17:22,017 --> 00:17:24,649
Oh, I think I'm going
to like it here.
452
00:17:24,849 --> 00:17:27,219
You haven't
changed one bit.
453
00:17:27,244 --> 00:17:30,748
Same old Lenny with the work
calls and the wandering eye.
454
00:17:30,773 --> 00:17:32,882
Sam, you got to do
something. Get in there.
455
00:17:32,907 --> 00:17:34,682
Maybe there's an
innocent explanation
456
00:17:34,707 --> 00:17:35,882
for the whole
business card thing.
457
00:17:35,906 --> 00:17:38,810
Maybe Tara Reid is interested
in wholesale lighting.
458
00:17:38,835 --> 00:17:39,965
Yes, I... 'Cause
459
00:17:39,990 --> 00:17:41,229
I think she's a producer
460
00:17:41,254 --> 00:17:44,722
on those Sharknado movies, and
they may have lighting needs.
461
00:17:44,835 --> 00:17:46,205
Sharknado?
462
00:17:46,493 --> 00:17:47,994
What are you two talking about?
463
00:17:48,019 --> 00:17:50,820
I saw you guys last night.
There was still a spark there.
464
00:17:50,845 --> 00:17:53,482
Why do you even
care? Who are you?
465
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:56,529
Look, I know you said you felt
Trevor's presence in that room.
466
00:17:56,561 --> 00:17:58,095
And what if you were right?
467
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:01,492
What if Trevor is
here with us today?
468
00:18:01,532 --> 00:18:04,548
My parents also got divorced,
and I know I blame myself.
469
00:18:05,629 --> 00:18:08,672
Maybe Trevor blames his
death for your divorce.
470
00:18:08,697 --> 00:18:09,938
Well, why would he do that?
471
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,751
Because you got divorced
right after I died.
472
00:18:11,869 --> 00:18:13,374
Maybe because of the timing.
473
00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:15,251
No, no. Trevor's
death had nothing
474
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,015
to do with us splitting up.
475
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:20,822
The-the truth is, our problems
were there long before that.
476
00:18:21,115 --> 00:18:24,202
I caught Lenny cheating when the
boys were still in junior high.
477
00:18:24,227 --> 00:18:25,403
I didn't know that.
478
00:18:25,428 --> 00:18:27,009
And we decided to stay together
479
00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:28,314
until they were
out of the house.
480
00:18:28,339 --> 00:18:30,621
But Jeremy never left the house.
481
00:18:30,646 --> 00:18:32,853
He-he was still living
there when he was 30.
482
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,453
So it wasn't T-Money's fault.
483
00:18:34,483 --> 00:18:36,176
They were just waiting
for J-Dog to grow up?
484
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,857
It's very hard to take
this story seriously
485
00:18:37,881 --> 00:18:39,422
with you using those monikers.
486
00:18:39,447 --> 00:18:40,817
So it wasn't Trevor's fault?
487
00:18:41,018 --> 00:18:42,554
Divorce isn't about the kids.
488
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:43,899
It's about the parents.
489
00:18:45,681 --> 00:18:47,302
Trevor, if you're really here,
490
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,308
we want you to know that.
491
00:18:49,683 --> 00:18:52,355
You were the best thing to
come out of our marriage.
492
00:18:53,062 --> 00:18:53,986
The point is,
493
00:18:54,011 --> 00:18:56,494
Trevor, we miss you every day,
494
00:18:56,954 --> 00:18:59,275
and we're so glad
you were our son.
495
00:19:02,285 --> 00:19:05,077
I really want to hug
my mom right now.
496
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,120
All right, I'm going to
step in and mama bear.
497
00:19:08,145 --> 00:19:10,550
But you keep that baby
shmeckel at a safe distance.
498
00:19:15,435 --> 00:19:18,224
We're never going to
grow apart, will we, Jay?
499
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,348
Okay, it's a key
point in the game,
500
00:19:20,373 --> 00:19:23,101
but this feels like a
must-pause conversation.
501
00:19:23,126 --> 00:19:24,314
Smart move, Jay.
502
00:19:24,339 --> 00:19:27,306
Hey, we're #CoupleGoals.
503
00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:29,275
I know. It's just,
I always thought
504
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:32,129
my parents were rock solid,
too, and it seems like
505
00:19:32,154 --> 00:19:33,961
Trevor thought the same
thing about his folks.
506
00:19:33,986 --> 00:19:35,949
Key to successful marriage...
507
00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:38,396
Die by the time you're
35 from lightning strike
508
00:19:38,421 --> 00:19:39,963
before things get stale.
509
00:19:39,988 --> 00:19:41,446
I know things are
great right now,
510
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:42,933
but what about
when we have kids,
511
00:19:42,958 --> 00:19:45,159
or after they're grown up
and we're empty nesters?
512
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,009
Okay,
I-I love to panic
513
00:19:47,034 --> 00:19:48,759
about hypotheticals
decades in the future,
514
00:19:48,784 --> 00:19:51,740
but, babe, we're never
going to be empty nesters.
515
00:19:51,876 --> 00:19:55,410
We have eight idiot kids who
can literally never leave.
516
00:19:55,435 --> 00:19:56,420
Oh, that's true.
Not loving that.
517
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,531
Jay very wise.
518
00:19:57,556 --> 00:19:59,560
Hey, guys, I just
wanted to say thanks.
519
00:19:59,585 --> 00:20:00,865
I had a really great stay.
520
00:20:00,890 --> 00:20:03,256
Have a safe drive
back. Thank you.
521
00:20:03,377 --> 00:20:04,838
- All right, ciao.
- Bye.
522
00:20:05,101 --> 00:20:06,598
Bye.
523
00:20:06,771 --> 00:20:08,259
What was that noise?
524
00:20:09,223 --> 00:20:11,317
I'll be right back.
525
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,251
Tara, look out!
526
00:20:14,276 --> 00:20:15,813
Whoa!
527
00:20:16,013 --> 00:20:17,697
Oh, my God.Yeah.
528
00:20:17,722 --> 00:20:19,377
You could have fallen
down the stairs.
529
00:20:19,445 --> 00:20:20,940
Trevor, did you knock
that vase on the floor
530
00:20:20,964 --> 00:20:22,891
to try to kill Tara Reid?
531
00:20:22,916 --> 00:20:25,142
Okay, yes, busted.
39130
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.