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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,111 ♪ Love ♪ 2 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,949 ♪ Exciting and new ♪ 3 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,852 ♪ Come aboard ♪ 4 00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:26,669 ♪ We're expecting you ♪ 5 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,094 ♪ And love ♪ 6 00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:34,944 ♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪ 7 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,902 ♪ Let it flow ♪ 8 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:43,119 ♪ It floats back to you ♪ 9 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:46,522 ♪ The Love Boat ♪ 10 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:51,494 ♪ Soon will be making Another run ♪ 11 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:54,764 ♪ The Love Boat ♪ 12 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:59,268 ♪ Promises something For everyone ♪ 13 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,470 ♪ Set a course for adventure ♪ 14 00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:05,731 ♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪ 15 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:11,014 ♪ And love ♪ 16 00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:14,139 ♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪ 17 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:19,189 ♪ It's an open smile ♪ 18 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:23,526 ♪ On a friendly shore ♪ 19 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:27,997 ♪ It's love ♪ 20 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:33,691 ♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪ 21 00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:01,514 There you are. 22 00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,649 Ooh. And there you are. 23 00:02:03,673 --> 00:02:05,251 And as much as I'm loving this, 24 00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:06,919 I'm really gonna have to check in. 25 00:02:06,943 --> 00:02:09,155 Oh, please, Miss Maxwell. 26 00:02:09,179 --> 00:02:11,757 I've seen every one of your movies. 27 00:02:11,781 --> 00:02:14,983 Oh, how brave of you. I ought to get your autograph. 28 00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,530 Miss Maxwell. 29 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,833 Oh, Merrill. Oh. Welcome back. 30 00:02:20,857 --> 00:02:22,569 The Princess always sails better 31 00:02:22,593 --> 00:02:23,736 when there's a queen on board. 32 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,371 Now, I didn't know your ship was equipped 33 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,639 with a Blarney Stone. 34 00:02:28,198 --> 00:02:30,143 Adam. Mona. 35 00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:32,212 If your beauty gets any more dazzling, 36 00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:34,180 I'm gonna have to wear dark glasses. 37 00:02:34,204 --> 00:02:37,038 Mm. Now, no matter what you say, I'm not gonna marry you. 38 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:42,622 But meet me later, and we'll talk about fooling around. 39 00:02:42,646 --> 00:02:45,126 Oh-ho. Oh, ho-ho. 40 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:49,011 Ha-ha-ha. Oh, and here are some more old friends. 41 00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:51,013 Oh, Isaac, my favorite bartender. 42 00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:52,215 Welcome back, Miss Maxwell. 43 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,516 Thank you. And Julie. 44 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:54,717 Hi. Welcome back. Hi. 45 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:55,768 I see we have booked 46 00:02:55,792 --> 00:02:59,022 an entire boatload of your admirers. 47 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:01,958 Oh, dear. They keep showing those old musicals 48 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,459 of mine on the late show. 49 00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:04,594 I must be responsible 50 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,613 for the sale of a million Slice-A-Matics. 51 00:03:07,638 --> 00:03:09,749 Excuse me. Wasn't that, uh...? 52 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,218 Mona Maxwell. She sails with us every year. 53 00:03:12,242 --> 00:03:14,754 Really? It's her really, in the flesh? 54 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,123 You're a fan? Oh, ho, ho, ho. 55 00:03:17,147 --> 00:03:19,091 I mean, that was a star. Yeah. 56 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,627 Not like these kids they have today. 57 00:03:21,652 --> 00:03:22,895 Come on, I'll introduce you. 58 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:24,697 Oh, no. She wouldn't wanna meet me. 59 00:03:24,721 --> 00:03:26,732 Yeah, she would. She's regular people. 60 00:03:26,756 --> 00:03:28,484 I don't wanna be any trouble. Come on. 61 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:31,570 Here's someone who'd like to meet you. 62 00:03:31,594 --> 00:03:33,890 Here she is, in the flesh. Hello. 63 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,831 Heh. I can't believe it's your flesh. Heh. 64 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,779 I-I mean, I can't believe you're alive. 65 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:46,090 I mean... I mean, I think I'll go to my cabin and fix my mouth. 66 00:03:48,612 --> 00:03:51,724 Hmm. I'm flattered. I think. 67 00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:56,662 Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. 68 00:03:56,686 --> 00:04:00,200 The brochure said "fabulous," but this is fabulous. 69 00:04:00,224 --> 00:04:01,534 Look at the way it's decorated. 70 00:04:01,558 --> 00:04:03,169 You could learn something about fixing up 71 00:04:03,193 --> 00:04:04,437 your apartment from this place. 72 00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:05,671 Good taste. 73 00:04:05,695 --> 00:04:07,307 I already have good taste. 74 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,641 I suppose I have bad taste? 75 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,661 No, no. You have no taste. 76 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,245 Hello. Good morning. 77 00:04:13,269 --> 00:04:14,598 Welcome back. Hi. Welcome back. 78 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,666 Oh, I'm in love. 79 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,690 Where, where? Over there. 80 00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:22,071 Hey, I don't think he's your type. 81 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,741 She's gorgeous, and she's crazy about me. 82 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,041 She hasn't even seen you yet. 83 00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,346 Hey, some things are chemical, man. Watch this. 84 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,984 Hi, doll. What's your sign? 85 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,986 Julie McCoy, cruise director. 86 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,155 Pay no attention to this buffoon. 87 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,173 You and I can make beautiful music together. 88 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:44,344 What? And put your monkey out of work? 89 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,279 Love a girl with a sense of humor. 90 00:04:46,303 --> 00:04:47,981 Yeah, love a guy with an original line. 91 00:04:48,005 --> 00:04:50,383 Pardon me, gentlemen. May I have your names, please? 92 00:04:50,407 --> 00:04:52,786 Alex Lambert, at your service, miss. 93 00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:54,704 Wally Fountaine. 94 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:57,507 Oh, yes, you're on the Fiesta Deck. Cabin 264. 95 00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:58,708 Happy cruising. 96 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,560 I'll see you later, just as soon as 97 00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:02,628 I get rid of the excess baggage. 98 00:05:02,652 --> 00:05:05,269 My cabin, as soon as I dump my father. 99 00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,239 Bye. 100 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,639 I don't know why, but I get the feeling 101 00:05:12,663 --> 00:05:14,173 that deep down inside, 102 00:05:14,197 --> 00:05:17,076 those two crazy guys are some really nice people. 103 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,412 That's what I like about you, McCoy. 104 00:05:19,436 --> 00:05:21,903 You're such a sap. 105 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,534 Hey. Nice boat. 106 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:28,421 Real, real nice boat. Heh-heh. 107 00:05:28,445 --> 00:05:29,589 Tell me, Dottie. 108 00:05:29,613 --> 00:05:31,190 How does this compare to the Mayflower? 109 00:05:31,214 --> 00:05:32,559 Oh, stop it, Ralph. 110 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:36,529 Try to act respectable. At least for our anniversary. 111 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:37,847 Hello. 112 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:40,183 I'm Yeoman Purser Smith. I'm here to check you in. 113 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,919 We're the Warrens, and I'm here to check her out. 114 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:46,722 Excuse my husband, Mr. Smith. He's a little crazy. 115 00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:50,026 Who said "little?" Ha-ha-ha. 116 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,945 Hey, what took you so long, shorty? 117 00:05:51,969 --> 00:05:53,713 Well, I had to catch up with the bags. 118 00:05:53,737 --> 00:05:55,765 What'd you guys do? Pack for a trip around the world? 119 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:59,218 You know I never do things in a small way. 120 00:05:59,242 --> 00:06:00,603 Who said "small"? 121 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,573 This is our son, Doug. 122 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,475 Oh, hi. 123 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,909 Uh, well, let's see. 124 00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,378 Warren, you've got adjoining cabins 125 00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:12,248 on Fiesta Deck, 287, 289. 126 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,933 Son, I can't thank you enough. 127 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:17,253 What a wonderful way to spend our silver anniversary. 128 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,860 It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. 129 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:24,961 Hey, hey, enough of this gab. I'm ready for a short beer. 130 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,363 Who said "short"? Ah-ha. 131 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,098 I'm gonna take the bags, check out the cabin. 132 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,400 I'll catch you guys later, okay? 133 00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:32,735 Oh, great. Okay, but don't be long. 134 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,804 Don't say it. 135 00:06:36,513 --> 00:06:38,224 Come on, honey. Take care of the bag. 136 00:06:38,248 --> 00:06:39,528 Catch you later. 137 00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:41,728 Your parents are a kick. 138 00:06:41,752 --> 00:06:43,530 - Yeah, they are the greatest. - Hi. 139 00:06:43,554 --> 00:06:46,783 Hello. You're, um... Oh, I know you. 140 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,252 Uh, the elevator at the Spelling building. 141 00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,704 Right, you get off at the 16th floor, I get off at the 25th. 142 00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,123 Hi, Doug Warren, stockbroker. 143 00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:55,291 Beth Donaldson. Advertising. 144 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:56,642 Gopher Smith. Shipping. 145 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,578 Isn't it amazing? After a year of just nodding 146 00:06:58,602 --> 00:07:01,614 to each other on the elevator, we finally get a chance to meet. 147 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:02,848 Yeah. 148 00:07:02,872 --> 00:07:04,684 Yeah. Um 149 00:07:04,708 --> 00:07:06,952 I'm gonna take the bags, but I'll see you later, yeah? 150 00:07:06,976 --> 00:07:08,288 Oh, you bet you will. 151 00:07:08,312 --> 00:07:11,123 Yeah, okay. Yeah. 152 00:07:11,147 --> 00:07:13,948 I'm glad to see you. Yeah, me too. 153 00:07:16,253 --> 00:07:17,863 Super, isn't he? 154 00:07:17,887 --> 00:07:20,300 Well, he's no Burl Smith. 155 00:07:20,324 --> 00:07:22,735 Who? Burl Smith. Big... 156 00:07:22,759 --> 00:07:25,660 Uh. You don't know him. 157 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,058 You've gotta be kidding. 158 00:07:46,082 --> 00:07:48,761 What schnook would wear a shirt like that? 159 00:07:48,785 --> 00:07:52,365 You. I borrowed this from you last year. 160 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,389 On me it looked good. Huh. 161 00:07:57,027 --> 00:07:59,605 A hair dryer? 162 00:07:59,629 --> 00:08:00,806 You've gotta be careful. 163 00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:02,841 You could blow your toupee over the side. 164 00:08:02,865 --> 00:08:07,413 This happens to be the exact same kind Joe Namath uses. 165 00:08:07,437 --> 00:08:09,048 Joe wears a rug? 166 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,850 Get lost, will you, please? 167 00:08:11,874 --> 00:08:12,851 All right, okay, okay. 168 00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:14,820 I got a very important decision here. 169 00:08:14,844 --> 00:08:16,188 Which threads will Julie prefer 170 00:08:16,212 --> 00:08:18,057 when I sweep her off her feet at dinner tonight? 171 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:21,060 You couldn't sweep her off her feet if you were a broom. 172 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,928 Oh, no? 173 00:08:22,952 --> 00:08:25,948 Well, watch me and learn from a master. 174 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:29,385 A thousand bucks says I'm the one she falls for first. 175 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:30,719 A thousand bucks? 176 00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:32,689 Wally, you can't afford to lose that kind of money. 177 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,458 I'll make it easy for you. Let's make it 500. 178 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:36,759 Hey, I'm your buddy. 179 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:38,928 I can't take 500 from you you don't have. 180 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,948 I'll settle for... $12. 181 00:08:41,972 --> 00:08:45,284 I'll tell you what. Let's keep things in your league. 182 00:08:45,308 --> 00:08:46,308 Make it a pizza. 183 00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:49,005 With anchovies? You're on. 184 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,255 All right. 185 00:09:02,492 --> 00:09:03,669 Mm. For you, sir? 186 00:09:03,693 --> 00:09:05,138 Uh, screwdriver, please. 187 00:09:05,162 --> 00:09:06,839 Screwdriver. 188 00:09:06,863 --> 00:09:09,158 Don't I know you from somewhere? 189 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,610 That's it. Screwdriver. 190 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,612 In your hand, under my car. 191 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,231 I used to be a mechanic. 192 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,983 And I used to have an old heap with a chronic oil condition. 193 00:09:18,007 --> 00:09:20,452 I got a chain of ten auto-repair shops now. 194 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:22,693 I got a newer heap with a chronic oil condition. 195 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,875 Oh, hi, Miss Maxwell. 196 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:29,178 Isaac, one of your notorious piña coladas, please. 197 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,295 Oh. I'll bring it right over. 198 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,365 Great. 199 00:09:32,389 --> 00:09:35,535 Oh. Hi. 200 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:37,058 Hi. 201 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,125 I see you two are finally speaking. 202 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,594 Ah, yes, he sent me a dozen roses, 203 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,296 and I just couldn't stay mad. 204 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,799 I'm talking about you and Mona Maxwell. 205 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,967 I don't know what came over me in the lobby there. 206 00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:55,070 I mean, I didn't have anything to say. I mean 207 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:59,809 she's been my idol for years, and I'm just an ordinary schmo. 208 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:02,679 Oh, look, she made a couple of movies. 209 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,181 But I'll bet if you asked her to dinner tonight, 210 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,416 she'd probably say yes. 211 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,384 Oh. Ha! Yeah. Yeah. 212 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,986 Ah. Would you like to have dinner with her? 213 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:13,222 Hm. Yeah, but I'm sure she's busy. 214 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,596 Oh. I'll go find out. No, Isaac. 215 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,810 Oh. Thank you. 216 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:21,180 Miss Maxwell, my friend Mr. D'Angelo would like to know 217 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,724 if he could have the pleasure of dining with you tonight. 218 00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:30,928 Tell Mr. D'Angelo that I'd be delighted. 219 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,780 Hey, how do you like that? There's my girl. 220 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,048 Your girl? 221 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,783 By tonight, you'll be eating your heart out, 222 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:41,984 and I'll be eating the pizza. 223 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:43,119 Ha-ha-ha-ha. 224 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,021 Hi, gorgeous. Hello, Mr. Lambert. 225 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,756 Oh, Alex, please. Alex. 226 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,158 Oh, nothing like the good sea air, is there? 227 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,793 It's even better when you breathe it. 228 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,196 Hey, not so hard. Poor guy. 229 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,964 Now, what time shall I pick you up for dinner and dancing? 230 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,867 Oh, well, I... Don't answer that. 231 00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,569 Julie, I'm about to rescue you 232 00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:02,605 from the most boring evening of your entire life. 233 00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:05,274 I'll be at your cabin at 8. Well, no, I really can't... 234 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,276 Don't you say a word unless it's yes to me. 235 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,978 But come on... You're making a big mistake. 236 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,480 No, I'm not. No. Ah-ah-ah-ah. 237 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,915 You guys are crazy. Why don't we all have dinner together? 238 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,884 No, no, no. Lousy idea. Will you butt out? 239 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:15,985 You don't know how to dance. 240 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,054 Hey, boys. Boys. How about this? 241 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,773 I'll have dinner with Alex and go dancing with Wally. 242 00:11:20,797 --> 00:11:22,058 No good. No way. Uh-uh. 243 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,193 All right, then, I'll have dinner with Wally 244 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,594 and go dancing with Alex. 245 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,279 That's fair enough. 246 00:11:27,303 --> 00:11:29,915 Once you're with me, you'll never wanna leave. 247 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:33,319 Well... Until tonight, my beauty. 248 00:11:33,343 --> 00:11:35,087 Is he kidding? 249 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,156 When you get a load of this guy's table manners, 250 00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:39,691 you won't last past the appetizer. 251 00:11:39,715 --> 00:11:43,717 I'll see you on the dance floor. 252 00:11:47,657 --> 00:11:48,900 It's love. 253 00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:51,270 Hm. How do you like that? She loves me. 254 00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:52,605 You? Yeah, me. 255 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,106 Look in the mirror sometime, will you? 256 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,641 Look in her eyes. 257 00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:09,472 Mamma mia. 258 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,574 I'd like to be around when she reaches puberty. 259 00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,826 Just cool it, Ralph. She's not your type. 260 00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:15,694 She is if you give me a boost. 261 00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:16,958 Who said that? 262 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,450 How did you put up with him for 25 years? 263 00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:22,952 What could I do? It was either him or Mickey Rooney. 264 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,169 Mickey Rooney. 265 00:12:24,193 --> 00:12:26,172 Hey, Doug. 266 00:12:26,196 --> 00:12:27,940 The ship's crawling with pulchritude. 267 00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:30,324 What are you hanging around us? 268 00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:34,863 Because I want to. I mean, this is for you. 269 00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:37,516 But that doesn't mean you can't have a good time. 270 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:39,618 I think we're inhibiting him. 271 00:12:39,642 --> 00:12:41,987 In that case, how about a game of shuffleboard? 272 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,288 Great idea. 273 00:12:43,312 --> 00:12:45,491 And don't give me the short end of the stick. 274 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:46,859 Who said that? 275 00:12:46,883 --> 00:12:48,193 I didn't. 276 00:12:48,217 --> 00:12:49,495 Um 277 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,263 If there's anything you can't handle, kid, 278 00:12:51,287 --> 00:12:53,465 you know my cabin number. 279 00:12:53,489 --> 00:12:57,019 Come on, Ralph. 280 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:08,997 Step to the rear, please. 281 00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:10,366 Let the man with the coffee cart out 282 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,700 before his doughnuts go bad. 283 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,802 Hi, hi, hi. Hi, hi. 284 00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:15,271 Whoa. If you wore that to work, 285 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,805 nobody would ever get off the elevator. 286 00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,874 Can I buy you a drink? 287 00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:20,476 Oh, of course. 288 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,977 Oh, but I think I should warn you. 289 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:23,512 I'm already committed for dinner. 290 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,880 Oh, yeah? Who's the lucky guy? 291 00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:26,815 You. Ha-ha. 292 00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:30,286 By the way, did I tell you that I was aggressive? 293 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,555 I'll tell you when to stop. Okay. 294 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,690 Um... this cruise 295 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,559 is a silver anniversary present for my parents. 296 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,026 You don't mind if they join us, do you? 297 00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,628 Oh, no. I'd love to meet them. 298 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:43,588 Look, any parents of yours are prospective in-laws of mine. 299 00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:48,237 Anybody ever tell you you were aggressive? 300 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,761 Well, wait, do you wanna take another look? 301 00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:59,682 That's a very beautiful dress you have on, Miss Maxwell. 302 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:00,883 Or may I call you...? 303 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:09,291 Oh, Mr. D'Angelo. I'm so sorry, 304 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:10,760 but Captain Stubing reminded me 305 00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:12,961 that I promised to have dinner with him tonight. 306 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:15,665 He's entertaining some bigwigs from the shipping line, 307 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,467 and, well, I guess they wanted to meet me. 308 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,036 Can we make it another time? 309 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,471 Oh, sure. We'll make it another time. 310 00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:26,091 Thank you, and I'm sorry for such short notice. 311 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,399 Hey, look. Uh, I know how it is. 312 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:37,058 How it is, is... I'm a jerk. 313 00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:59,709 She is a sensational girl. 314 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,443 And I know you two are gonna like her. 315 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,045 You know, I-I think she'd like you better 316 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,246 in your other tux shirt. 317 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,748 You know, the one with all the ruffles. 318 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,149 Nobody asked you. 319 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,551 Doug, you look great. Thanks, Mom. 320 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,154 Oh, here, uh... bought you a little present. 321 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,306 Put some on. Heh. 322 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,308 Cologne. Oh, thanks, Pop, but I already used some. 323 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,877 Well, put some more on. 324 00:15:17,901 --> 00:15:20,880 Can't do you any harm to be a sweet smeller. 325 00:15:20,904 --> 00:15:24,004 Ah. Better get out of here before he gives you a haircut. 326 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,004 You know, we are gonna be the best-looking foursome 327 00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:30,206 in that dining room. 328 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,456 Right. 329 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,282 But, uh, we'll be two twosomes. 330 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,395 No, what do you mean? 331 00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:37,796 I already told Beth you were coming. 332 00:15:37,820 --> 00:15:39,431 Look, it's your first date with the girl. 333 00:15:39,455 --> 00:15:41,901 You don't want us tagging along. 334 00:15:41,925 --> 00:15:43,986 Now... It's for your own good, son. 335 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,922 I mean, uh, she'd see what a killer I am, 336 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,714 and then you'd be out of the running. 337 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,915 Hey, uh, Gopher. Hm? 338 00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:17,140 Listen, uh, you must know Julie pretty well. Oh. 339 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:23,625 Well, um, did she ever say what turns her on? 340 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:24,682 Yeah. 341 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,930 Warren Beatty. 342 00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,699 What kind of a tip is that? 343 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:33,424 If you were Warren Beatty, you'd be thrilled. 344 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,674 Hello, Gopher. 345 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,076 Wally, thank you for dinner. I had a lovely time. 346 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,478 My pleasure, Julie. 347 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,246 I don't understand one thing, however. 348 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,516 How can you go from champagne and caviar 349 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,686 to... chopped liver? 350 00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,724 Well, Julie, the mercy date is over for the evening. 351 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,694 Prince Charming is here to dance the night away. 352 00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,161 See you later, honey. 353 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,197 I will leave a light in my porthole. 354 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,465 Oh. 355 00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:05,166 Your friend's a clown. 356 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,836 Yeah, laughing on the outside and, uh, 357 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,137 weeping on the inside. 358 00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:11,156 Poor guy. Oh, yeah? Why's that? 359 00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:13,492 Well, listen, uh, don't tell him I told you this, 360 00:17:13,516 --> 00:17:15,360 but he's miserable. 361 00:17:15,384 --> 00:17:17,596 He wanted to bring his fiancée on this trip with him, 362 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,465 but she had to stay home and work, you know. 363 00:17:20,489 --> 00:17:23,769 They're saving every penny they have for the honeymoon. 364 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,137 And I gave him this trip 365 00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:27,590 as sort of a pre-wedding present. 366 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,925 Oh, you gave him this trip? 367 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,027 Yeah, well, you know, a single guy like me. 368 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,129 Who have I got to spend my money on, you know? 369 00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:37,816 Except my friends and, uh, my girl. 370 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,518 If I had a girl. 371 00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:41,053 Isn't that strange? 372 00:17:41,077 --> 00:17:43,488 He told me that he brought you on this cruise. 373 00:17:43,512 --> 00:17:46,458 Yeah. Well, like you say, he's a crazy clown. 374 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,978 Listen, uh, shall we trip the light Travolta? 375 00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:50,768 Sure. 376 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,288 Oh, I just love disco dancing. 377 00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:01,957 Whoever invented it is a genius. 378 00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:04,301 Yeah, well, I know who invented it. 379 00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:08,229 Same guys who invented skateboards and hang gliders. 380 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,935 Orthopedic surgeons of America. 381 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,570 They're cleaning up from this. 382 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,272 Speaking of surgeons, sir? May I cut in? 383 00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:18,974 Oh, you sure may. 384 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,764 Thank you, Gopher. Thank you. 385 00:18:28,958 --> 00:18:32,170 I hear your dinner date got cancelled. Sorry. 386 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:35,507 Look, I'm sorry. I embarrassed her, you know. 387 00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,776 Pushing myself on her like that. 388 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,144 I mean, what does she want with me, 389 00:18:39,168 --> 00:18:41,685 when she's got the cream of the ship? 390 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,767 Gopher? The cream? 391 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,257 Well, the sour cream maybe. 392 00:18:48,478 --> 00:18:50,456 Oh, he's putting me on again, Dottie. 393 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,657 No, it's really the truth, captain. 394 00:18:52,681 --> 00:18:53,658 I mean, all these years 395 00:18:53,682 --> 00:18:55,544 I've been working as a court clerk. 396 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:56,846 Oh, what court? 397 00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:58,280 Small claims. 398 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,833 Oh, who said that? 399 00:19:00,857 --> 00:19:02,551 Excuse me. Some more ice, please. 400 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:05,442 Oh, I... I didn't know they allowed children at the bar. 401 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,624 Oh, they're not children. They're... 402 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,159 They call themselves "little people." 403 00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:12,628 Come on, I want you to meet 'em. 404 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,096 I know 'em pretty well. Uh... 405 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:17,255 Maybe another time, okay? C... Come on. 406 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,045 Oh, I'm sorry I acted like such an idiot 407 00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:33,382 about those little people. Oh, you weren't an idiot. 408 00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,150 Anybody can get uptight when they see someone 409 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,319 different from themselves. 410 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,354 It's easily overcome. 411 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,422 All you need is a chance to meet 'em. 412 00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:43,025 I... I guess I have this deep-seated fear 413 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:46,661 that maybe a child of mine could turn out like that. 414 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:50,699 Heh-heh. Uh... Beth, ahem, 415 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:51,800 those little people... 416 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,858 Are in there, and we're out here. 417 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,712 We should try that in an elevator sometime. 418 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:06,137 There's a lot of things we should try. 419 00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,240 Not in an elevator. 420 00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:22,831 She is the most beautiful dancer 421 00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,233 in the world. 422 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,457 Maybe not the whole world. 423 00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:29,171 Why don't you get out there. 424 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,195 Cut in. 425 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,609 Nah. What are you...? 426 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,210 Go ahead. Drop it, will you? 427 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,594 Look, I'm not in her league. 428 00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:41,016 Hey, do you hear that song? 429 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:47,089 She danced with Gene Kelly to that song in... 430 00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:48,374 What was the name of that movie? 431 00:20:48,398 --> 00:20:49,625 Shall we dance? 432 00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,129 Gene Kelly wasn't in Shall We... 433 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,748 Oh. It's you. 434 00:20:56,772 --> 00:20:59,117 Heh. 435 00:20:59,141 --> 00:21:00,861 Hi. Hi. 436 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:06,830 Uh, well, I'm, uh... I'm asking you to dance. 437 00:21:08,751 --> 00:21:10,529 Uh. 438 00:21:10,553 --> 00:21:11,814 Are you sure? 439 00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:15,650 Well, of course I'm sure, Mr. D'Angelo. 440 00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:17,986 May I call you Artie? 441 00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:39,074 How about that? I just produced my first movie: 442 00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:41,843 Artie Meets Mona. 443 00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:43,100 Take one. 444 00:21:56,499 --> 00:21:57,776 It's a lovely evening, isn't it? 445 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,512 Oh, it sure is. 446 00:22:00,536 --> 00:22:03,281 Well, so much for small talk. 447 00:22:03,305 --> 00:22:05,216 I came out here for some fresh air. 448 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,586 I'm crazy about you, Julie. 449 00:22:07,610 --> 00:22:09,705 Well, that's nice, Alex. 450 00:22:09,729 --> 00:22:12,140 But a girl likes to be romanced. 451 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,909 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 452 00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:16,744 Julie, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. 453 00:22:16,768 --> 00:22:18,046 Your eyes, Julie. 454 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:21,583 Y... Your eyes are like limpid pools of sapphires. 455 00:22:21,607 --> 00:22:23,452 Alex. I must have you. 456 00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:26,388 If... If I can't, I-I'll throw myself overboard. 457 00:22:26,412 --> 00:22:28,395 Have a nice swim. 458 00:22:29,665 --> 00:22:31,409 I... I love you, Julie. 459 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:33,995 I'm crazy about you. I need you. 460 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,382 Well, Alex, there are right and wrong ways 461 00:22:36,406 --> 00:22:38,100 to go about these things. 462 00:22:38,124 --> 00:22:40,635 Now, just follow me, okay? 463 00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:43,972 First, we close our eyes. 464 00:22:43,996 --> 00:22:45,640 They're closed. 465 00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:48,048 Next, you pucker up. 466 00:22:50,152 --> 00:22:51,630 I'm puckered. 467 00:22:51,654 --> 00:22:52,997 Mm-hm. 468 00:22:53,021 --> 00:22:57,569 Now, count to five, and when you reach five, 469 00:22:57,593 --> 00:23:01,306 put your arms around me and kiss me. 470 00:23:01,330 --> 00:23:02,974 Okay. 471 00:23:02,998 --> 00:23:04,748 Ready? 472 00:23:06,669 --> 00:23:08,869 One. Two. 473 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,600 Three. 474 00:23:11,624 --> 00:23:14,136 Four. 475 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,759 Five. 476 00:23:22,018 --> 00:23:24,563 Six. 477 00:23:24,587 --> 00:23:25,769 Seven. 478 00:23:26,856 --> 00:23:28,105 Eight. 479 00:23:32,461 --> 00:23:36,140 Oh, Artie. Oh, you're such a wonderful dancer. 480 00:23:36,164 --> 00:23:37,542 I'm no Gene Kelly. 481 00:23:37,566 --> 00:23:39,911 No, you're not. But then, he's no Artie D'Angelo. 482 00:23:39,935 --> 00:23:41,045 Heh. 483 00:23:41,069 --> 00:23:44,949 Oh. You know, you have never told me what you do. 484 00:23:44,973 --> 00:23:46,651 Oh, what's to tell? 485 00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:49,387 You know, I own a string of, uh, auto shops. 486 00:23:49,411 --> 00:23:51,189 Oh. It's called Tune-Up Town. 487 00:23:51,213 --> 00:23:52,424 I'm sort of the mayor. 488 00:23:53,782 --> 00:23:56,228 And I play poker with the boys once a week, you know, 489 00:23:56,252 --> 00:23:58,796 and I, uh... I go to the Laker games. 490 00:23:58,820 --> 00:24:01,233 All of those. But that wouldn't interest you. 491 00:24:01,257 --> 00:24:03,501 You know, if they had a couple of forwards that could shoot, 492 00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:05,470 they'd win a lot more games. 493 00:24:05,494 --> 00:24:06,638 You're a fan? 494 00:24:06,662 --> 00:24:09,329 Heh-heh. You know it. 495 00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:13,144 Heh. 496 00:24:13,168 --> 00:24:15,213 Oh, uh... Hey, look, uh... 497 00:24:15,237 --> 00:24:17,849 This is, uh... This is where I, uh 498 00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:19,517 I mean, this is my room. 499 00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:21,886 So I don't wanna take up, uh 500 00:24:21,910 --> 00:24:22,920 any more of your time, 501 00:24:22,944 --> 00:24:24,188 so I'll just say good night. 502 00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:26,458 Artie, let's get something straight. 503 00:24:26,482 --> 00:24:28,893 You are not taking up my time. 504 00:24:28,917 --> 00:24:31,296 I enjoy your company. 505 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,399 Now, um, why don't you invite me in for a nightcap? 506 00:24:34,423 --> 00:24:36,067 You're kidding? 507 00:24:36,091 --> 00:24:37,636 Mona. Sure. 508 00:24:37,660 --> 00:24:38,903 I'm glad I caught you. 509 00:24:38,927 --> 00:24:40,572 We're going to my cabin for a nightcap. 510 00:24:40,596 --> 00:24:43,163 Won't you join us? Both of you. Come. 511 00:24:44,466 --> 00:24:46,210 That's, uh... That's okay. Why don't 512 00:24:46,234 --> 00:24:47,646 you just go along with your friends? 513 00:24:47,670 --> 00:24:49,681 Oh, no. Not unless you come too. 514 00:24:49,705 --> 00:24:52,083 Oh, yeah, sure. I'll... Promise. 515 00:24:52,107 --> 00:24:53,685 Yeah, yeah. I'll... I'll meet you there. 516 00:24:53,709 --> 00:24:55,420 Well, all right, but don't be long. 517 00:24:55,444 --> 00:24:56,488 Hm-hm. 518 00:25:40,555 --> 00:25:43,735 Oh. Julie, Julie, Julie. 519 00:25:43,759 --> 00:25:45,270 Julie, stop! 520 00:25:45,294 --> 00:25:47,005 Look! Ha-ha. 521 00:25:47,029 --> 00:25:50,441 I know you're crazy about me, but I'm only human. 522 00:25:50,465 --> 00:25:51,910 Cut out the racket. 523 00:25:51,934 --> 00:25:54,712 What? Oh. Excuse me. 524 00:25:54,736 --> 00:25:57,120 I, uh... I guess I was dreaming about last night. 525 00:25:58,241 --> 00:26:00,252 Okay. 526 00:26:00,276 --> 00:26:01,603 What didn't happen? 527 00:26:01,627 --> 00:26:03,871 Wally, Wally, Wally. 528 00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:04,939 There are some things 529 00:26:04,963 --> 00:26:06,975 that a gentleman does not talk about. 530 00:26:06,999 --> 00:26:08,242 Let's just simply say 531 00:26:08,266 --> 00:26:09,811 I like my pizza with thick crust 532 00:26:09,835 --> 00:26:11,146 and extra cheese, okay? 533 00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:15,049 Meaning you got to first base with Miss McCoy? 534 00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:18,453 I would call it more of a grand slam home run. 535 00:26:18,477 --> 00:26:20,822 You would? Mm-hm. 536 00:26:20,846 --> 00:26:22,490 I'd call it a strikeout. 537 00:26:22,514 --> 00:26:23,981 I saw you at the rail. 538 00:26:25,318 --> 00:26:29,064 I'm all puckered. One, two, three. 539 00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,682 You are a peeping Tom. 540 00:26:30,706 --> 00:26:33,852 Oh, come on. There was nothing worth peeping at. 541 00:26:33,876 --> 00:26:36,004 Why don't you give up on my girl? 542 00:26:36,028 --> 00:26:38,507 I got another hot number for you anyway. 543 00:26:38,531 --> 00:26:42,494 555-4496. 544 00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:45,197 Who's that? Pizza Pete. 545 00:26:45,221 --> 00:26:46,301 He delivers. 546 00:26:56,549 --> 00:26:57,559 Hello. 547 00:26:57,583 --> 00:26:59,394 Hi. Hi. 548 00:26:59,418 --> 00:27:01,829 Good morning. Good morning. 549 00:27:01,853 --> 00:27:04,466 Sorry I'm late for breakfast, but I slept in. 550 00:27:04,490 --> 00:27:06,335 That's funny. We went by your room 551 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,670 to pick you up this morning, and there was no answer. 552 00:27:08,694 --> 00:27:11,022 Don Juan strikes again? 553 00:27:11,046 --> 00:27:13,825 Leave him alone, Ralph. 554 00:27:13,849 --> 00:27:15,860 Do you like her? 555 00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:18,329 I'm nuts about her. 556 00:27:18,353 --> 00:27:19,564 There's some problems, but... 557 00:27:19,588 --> 00:27:20,915 Well, there's always problems. 558 00:27:20,939 --> 00:27:23,585 When I think of what your mother and I went through. 559 00:27:23,609 --> 00:27:25,904 It took her months before she bought me a ring. 560 00:27:25,928 --> 00:27:27,738 Oh. 561 00:27:27,762 --> 00:27:29,941 I can hardly wait to meet Beth. 562 00:27:29,965 --> 00:27:32,543 You did invite her to our anniversary party tonight? 563 00:27:32,567 --> 00:27:33,862 Not yet, no. 564 00:27:33,886 --> 00:27:35,630 Why don't you invite her to have lunch with us, 565 00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,849 and we'll invite her to the party. 566 00:27:37,873 --> 00:27:39,617 Okay, um, but if we don't show up, 567 00:27:39,641 --> 00:27:41,269 you guys go on ahead without us, okay? 568 00:27:41,293 --> 00:27:43,177 Great. Okay? 569 00:27:46,098 --> 00:27:47,209 What's with him? 570 00:27:47,233 --> 00:27:48,577 Nothing. 571 00:27:48,601 --> 00:27:50,629 He's gotta leave the nest sooner or later. 572 00:27:50,653 --> 00:27:53,904 Did it ever occur to you, uh, he could be ashamed of us? 573 00:27:55,491 --> 00:27:59,170 I don't believe that for a minute, and neither do you. 574 00:27:59,194 --> 00:28:00,472 No, I don't. 575 00:28:00,496 --> 00:28:03,274 But, uh, just to be on the safe side, uh, 576 00:28:03,298 --> 00:28:05,327 let's grow between now and lunchtime? 577 00:28:09,321 --> 00:28:10,599 So? 578 00:28:10,623 --> 00:28:11,966 So, what? 579 00:28:11,990 --> 00:28:13,000 So you spent the evening 580 00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:14,236 with the girl of your dreams. 581 00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:15,604 You held her in your arms 582 00:28:15,628 --> 00:28:17,272 and danced the night away. 583 00:28:17,296 --> 00:28:20,508 Are you happy, sad... fed up, in love, 584 00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:22,410 disgusted, or none of the above? 585 00:28:22,434 --> 00:28:24,312 I had a great time until... 586 00:28:24,336 --> 00:28:26,782 Good morning, Miss Maxwell. 587 00:28:26,806 --> 00:28:29,384 Morning, Miss M. Good morning, Doc. 588 00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:31,153 Morning, Miss Maxwell. Morning, Isaac. 589 00:28:31,177 --> 00:28:33,777 Morning, Mona. Drop dead, Mr. D'Angelo. 590 00:28:36,682 --> 00:28:39,242 Sounds like she had a great time to me. 591 00:28:41,487 --> 00:28:43,698 Uh, couldn't we go someplace where we could be alone? 592 00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,567 Hey, I've gotta get these papers to the captain. 593 00:28:45,591 --> 00:28:47,368 Great, I'll come with you. He can marry us. 594 00:28:47,392 --> 00:28:49,103 That's a myth. Captains don't marry people. 595 00:28:49,127 --> 00:28:50,738 Then we'll settle for the use of his cabin. 596 00:28:50,762 --> 00:28:52,674 Hey, what is it with you and Alex? 597 00:28:52,698 --> 00:28:54,108 Oh, him. Poor Alex. 598 00:28:54,132 --> 00:28:56,278 He... You've been like a tonic to him. 599 00:28:56,302 --> 00:28:57,762 What? 600 00:28:57,786 --> 00:29:00,565 Well, you've been such an influence on him, Julie. 601 00:29:00,589 --> 00:29:04,486 Uh... How can I put this... delicately? 602 00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:06,938 You see, Alex 603 00:29:06,962 --> 00:29:10,342 Alex has never really been interested in women before. 604 00:29:10,366 --> 00:29:13,328 I mean, before you. 605 00:29:13,352 --> 00:29:14,613 It's not his fault though. 606 00:29:14,637 --> 00:29:18,133 It's a tragic football injury in high school. 607 00:29:18,157 --> 00:29:20,101 Alex warned me that you'd do anything 608 00:29:20,125 --> 00:29:21,385 to get me interested in you. 609 00:29:21,409 --> 00:29:23,020 But it's not gonna work. 610 00:29:23,044 --> 00:29:24,488 He also told me about your fiancée. 611 00:29:24,512 --> 00:29:25,757 I don't have a fiancée. 612 00:29:25,781 --> 00:29:27,859 He said you'd say that too. I don't, believe me. 613 00:29:27,883 --> 00:29:29,126 He told me you'd plead. 614 00:29:29,150 --> 00:29:31,195 Why, that no-good, rotten creep. I'll kill him. 615 00:29:31,219 --> 00:29:32,463 Well, while you're killing him, 616 00:29:32,487 --> 00:29:34,365 I'm gonna go take these papers to the captain. 617 00:29:34,389 --> 00:29:36,267 Don't rush. 618 00:29:36,291 --> 00:29:39,459 It's gonna take Alex a long time to die. 619 00:29:41,429 --> 00:29:44,576 Oh, come in. It's open. 620 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,011 Hi. Well, I'm ready for lunch. 621 00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:48,412 How do I look? 622 00:29:48,436 --> 00:29:50,848 Aren't I the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? 623 00:29:50,872 --> 00:29:53,251 Oh, I know, I know. Too pushy. Hm. 624 00:29:53,275 --> 00:29:56,755 Oh, but I don't care. I've decided to have 16 kids, 625 00:29:56,779 --> 00:29:59,007 and every one of 'em's gonna look just like you. 626 00:29:59,031 --> 00:30:01,510 How's that for pushy? Beth, we... 627 00:30:01,534 --> 00:30:04,450 Hey. I'm trying to tell you that I love you. 628 00:30:06,772 --> 00:30:10,256 Look, Beth. This was all a mistake. 629 00:30:12,277 --> 00:30:14,405 Let's just forget about us, okay? 630 00:30:14,429 --> 00:30:16,725 What? No. 631 00:30:16,749 --> 00:30:19,577 I'm really sorry. 632 00:30:19,601 --> 00:30:21,512 Hey. What did I do? 633 00:30:21,536 --> 00:30:23,837 Don't... go. 634 00:30:33,849 --> 00:30:35,894 Ah. Here it is. 635 00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:37,362 Oh. Thank you, my dear. Thank you. 636 00:30:37,386 --> 00:30:38,768 Mm. 637 00:30:42,123 --> 00:30:44,969 Mm. Mm. Now, my favorite 638 00:30:44,993 --> 00:30:46,604 was the one where you and that young marine 639 00:30:46,628 --> 00:30:49,707 were tap dancing all over those antiaircraft guns. 640 00:30:49,731 --> 00:30:52,110 Oh, you mean, uh, Desert Moon. 641 00:30:52,134 --> 00:30:55,897 Desert Moon? On a ship? No, that doesn't make sense. 642 00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:58,099 Oh, it did when they paid me $100,000 643 00:30:58,123 --> 00:30:59,650 and, uh, 10 percent of the gross. 644 00:31:01,009 --> 00:31:03,104 All right, tell us about the time the horse bit you. 645 00:31:03,128 --> 00:31:04,128 You're gonna love this. 646 00:31:06,031 --> 00:31:07,892 We were making a horse opera. 647 00:31:07,916 --> 00:31:10,028 Uh, and usually, that means a Western. 648 00:31:10,052 --> 00:31:11,512 Anyway, in this particular picture, 649 00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:13,648 I actually had to sing opera sitting on a horse. 650 00:31:13,672 --> 00:31:15,951 Mona... could we talk? 651 00:31:15,975 --> 00:31:17,718 I am talking. 652 00:31:17,742 --> 00:31:19,170 Well, anyway, there was this horse... 653 00:31:19,194 --> 00:31:20,593 Privately. 654 00:31:21,814 --> 00:31:23,496 Would you excuse us? 655 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:30,599 Captain... you tell the rest of the story, will you? 656 00:31:30,623 --> 00:31:33,556 He tells it much better than I do anyway. 657 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:36,972 Anyway, there was this horse... 658 00:31:36,996 --> 00:31:38,239 Now, what's your story? 659 00:31:38,263 --> 00:31:40,703 Come on outside, will you? 660 00:31:45,337 --> 00:31:48,416 Ooh. I feel like such a klutz 661 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,451 turning my ankle playing Ping-Pong. 662 00:31:50,475 --> 00:31:52,287 Well, I still think you should see Doc. 663 00:31:52,311 --> 00:31:55,456 No, what I really need is to just get off it. 664 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,192 Here, give me the key, and I'll open the door. 665 00:31:57,216 --> 00:31:58,748 Yeah. 666 00:32:01,954 --> 00:32:03,531 Lean on me. Ooh. 667 00:32:03,555 --> 00:32:05,049 Careful. 668 00:32:05,073 --> 00:32:06,406 Whoa. 669 00:32:07,576 --> 00:32:09,456 Oh, wait, let me close the door. 670 00:32:10,079 --> 00:32:11,812 That's good. Whoop. 671 00:32:13,082 --> 00:32:15,259 What are you doing? I'm kissing you. 672 00:32:15,283 --> 00:32:16,595 Well, what about your ankle? 673 00:32:16,619 --> 00:32:18,897 There's nothing wrong with my ankle. It's my heart. 674 00:32:18,921 --> 00:32:20,031 Mwah. 675 00:32:20,055 --> 00:32:22,100 No, no. You're crazy. 676 00:32:22,124 --> 00:32:23,204 Ohh. Oh. 677 00:32:25,094 --> 00:32:27,961 Wally. Don't you knock? 678 00:32:30,432 --> 00:32:32,032 Congratulations. You win the bet. 679 00:32:33,418 --> 00:32:35,163 The bed. You... The bed. 680 00:32:35,187 --> 00:32:37,565 You said "bet." What bet? No. He said "bed." 681 00:32:37,589 --> 00:32:38,766 He said "bet." He said "bed." 682 00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:40,167 Didn't you?! Alex. 683 00:32:40,191 --> 00:32:42,570 Come on. What's the sense of going on with this little ruse? 684 00:32:42,594 --> 00:32:43,571 We did have a bet. 685 00:32:43,595 --> 00:32:44,839 About what? 686 00:32:44,863 --> 00:32:48,159 You. We had a bet to see which one of us would... 687 00:32:48,183 --> 00:32:51,179 Uh... I'm so ashamed. 688 00:32:51,203 --> 00:32:53,597 You're also a jerk. 689 00:32:53,621 --> 00:32:55,416 That I was a bet? 690 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,368 I can't believe this. The two of you. 691 00:32:57,392 --> 00:32:59,220 You and he and... Oh. 692 00:32:59,244 --> 00:33:00,426 You're upset. 693 00:33:01,312 --> 00:33:02,796 Oh. 694 00:33:07,335 --> 00:33:09,146 She was almost mine. 695 00:33:09,170 --> 00:33:12,300 Well, almost does not a winner make. 696 00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:14,885 You realize that now she's so steaming, 697 00:33:14,909 --> 00:33:16,604 neither of us has a chance. 698 00:33:16,628 --> 00:33:18,678 Speak for yourself. We haven't docked yet. 699 00:33:19,982 --> 00:33:21,960 Miss Donaldson, can I fix you something? 700 00:33:21,984 --> 00:33:24,895 Yeah. How are you at fixing broken hearts? 701 00:33:24,919 --> 00:33:26,397 Fine, if you don't mind them coming out 702 00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:28,566 looking like a banana daiquiri. 703 00:33:28,590 --> 00:33:29,968 That'll do for a start. 704 00:33:29,992 --> 00:33:32,570 Okay. One banana... 705 00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:34,272 Hey, uh, hello, folks. How you doing? 706 00:33:34,296 --> 00:33:35,473 Howdy-doody. 707 00:33:35,497 --> 00:33:36,707 Can I get you something? 708 00:33:36,731 --> 00:33:38,476 Oh, yeah. Let me see. 709 00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:40,044 Uh, two piña coladas. 710 00:33:40,068 --> 00:33:42,447 And don't you dare ask for our IDs. 711 00:33:43,505 --> 00:33:45,049 Promise. Okay. 712 00:33:45,073 --> 00:33:47,151 Ah. Hi. Heh. 713 00:33:47,175 --> 00:33:49,020 I know it's easy to overlook us, 714 00:33:49,044 --> 00:33:51,622 but, uh, I don't know why I overlooked you. 715 00:33:51,646 --> 00:33:54,609 You're the second most beautiful girl on board. 716 00:33:54,633 --> 00:33:56,644 Dottie's number one. 717 00:33:56,668 --> 00:33:58,980 Ralph, are you flirting again? 718 00:33:59,004 --> 00:34:01,216 Try to pick on someone your own size. 719 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:02,300 Who said that? 720 00:34:03,992 --> 00:34:05,837 Uh, excuse me, I really have to go. 721 00:34:05,861 --> 00:34:07,122 Pardon me. 722 00:34:07,146 --> 00:34:09,666 But you look like you just lost your best friend. 723 00:34:10,599 --> 00:34:13,812 Uh... Well, I did. 724 00:34:13,836 --> 00:34:16,347 I guess he wasn't my best friend. 725 00:34:16,371 --> 00:34:17,632 A boyfriend? 726 00:34:17,656 --> 00:34:19,000 Kind of. 727 00:34:19,024 --> 00:34:21,669 Yeah, he dropped me just like that, and I don't know why. 728 00:34:21,693 --> 00:34:23,938 I guess maybe I came on too strong. 729 00:34:23,962 --> 00:34:27,175 Here we go. Two piña coladas and a brand new heart. 730 00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:28,376 Thank you. 731 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,612 Maybe he just got cold feet. 732 00:34:30,636 --> 00:34:32,363 Remember how it was with us, honey? 733 00:34:32,387 --> 00:34:36,133 Uh-huh. We already set the wedding date, and... 734 00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:37,685 And then one day, I panicked. 735 00:34:37,709 --> 00:34:38,869 Why? 736 00:34:38,893 --> 00:34:42,874 Well, being little, uh, we wondered... 737 00:34:42,898 --> 00:34:45,510 Well... Well, you know, about kids and everything. 738 00:34:45,534 --> 00:34:48,112 Maybe that's what scared him off. 739 00:34:48,136 --> 00:34:50,648 I was talking about kids. 740 00:34:50,672 --> 00:34:51,866 Sixteen of them. 741 00:34:51,890 --> 00:34:53,656 Sixteen? 742 00:34:54,876 --> 00:34:57,055 You better have a pretty good diaper service. 743 00:35:00,649 --> 00:35:01,843 Did you have kids? 744 00:35:01,867 --> 00:35:03,410 Oh, yes, we have two. 745 00:35:03,434 --> 00:35:04,645 A beautiful married daughter, 746 00:35:04,669 --> 00:35:07,148 compact-sized, like us. 747 00:35:07,172 --> 00:35:08,449 Then there's our son. 748 00:35:08,473 --> 00:35:10,000 Uh, the jolly green giant. 749 00:35:10,024 --> 00:35:11,519 Heh. Uh 750 00:35:11,543 --> 00:35:14,422 a wonderful boy. And in fact, if he hadn't met someone, 751 00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:16,191 I'd like to introduce you to him. 752 00:35:16,215 --> 00:35:19,077 Well, if I hadn't met someone, I'd take you up on it. 753 00:35:19,101 --> 00:35:21,279 Listen, this fellow you care about: 754 00:35:21,303 --> 00:35:23,981 Don't you give up on him without a fight. 755 00:35:24,005 --> 00:35:26,317 Why, I stuck to Ralph like glue, 756 00:35:26,341 --> 00:35:28,119 and so far it's lasted. 757 00:35:28,143 --> 00:35:31,055 Twenty-five years today. 758 00:35:31,079 --> 00:35:33,946 Oh, 25 years. Mm-hm. 759 00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:39,147 Uh 760 00:35:39,171 --> 00:35:42,884 Did your son bring you on board to celebrate your anniversary? 761 00:35:42,908 --> 00:35:45,024 He sure did. 762 00:35:47,195 --> 00:35:51,898 Oh. Well, then I will take your advice. 763 00:35:53,001 --> 00:35:55,334 Oh. Thank you. Heh. 764 00:35:56,138 --> 00:35:57,436 Mwah. Oh. Mwah. 765 00:35:58,639 --> 00:35:59,984 You're wonderful people. 766 00:36:00,008 --> 00:36:03,392 No. Just people. 767 00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:09,031 So long, Beth. 768 00:36:15,807 --> 00:36:17,373 Beth. 769 00:36:18,443 --> 00:36:19,954 Ha. 770 00:36:19,978 --> 00:36:21,178 Va-va-voom. 771 00:36:37,311 --> 00:36:40,692 It's been a long time since I've been stood up. 772 00:36:40,716 --> 00:36:42,393 I may not be box office anymore, 773 00:36:42,417 --> 00:36:43,461 but this is ridiculous. 774 00:36:43,485 --> 00:36:44,829 Look, I didn't mean to stand you up. 775 00:36:44,853 --> 00:36:46,964 I just thought you'd rather be with your friends. 776 00:36:46,988 --> 00:36:48,366 I only went to the captain's party 777 00:36:48,390 --> 00:36:49,934 because I thought you would join me. 778 00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:51,168 Really? Really. 779 00:36:51,192 --> 00:36:52,804 Would you like it engraved in marble? 780 00:36:52,828 --> 00:36:54,004 I'm sorry. 781 00:36:54,028 --> 00:36:56,173 Now, are we going to have a Mexican dinner 782 00:36:56,197 --> 00:36:57,942 in town tonight or not? 783 00:36:57,966 --> 00:36:59,043 Because if we are, 784 00:36:59,067 --> 00:37:01,579 I have about... 30 invitations to cancel. 785 00:37:01,603 --> 00:37:03,848 I wouldn't want you to disappoint anybody. 786 00:37:03,872 --> 00:37:06,917 Artie! Okay, okay. We're having dinner. 787 00:37:06,941 --> 00:37:09,387 Gee. Thanks a lot. 788 00:37:16,518 --> 00:37:18,996 Julie. Just forget about it. 789 00:37:19,020 --> 00:37:20,931 It was a harmless little joke. 790 00:37:20,955 --> 00:37:24,835 Oh-ho-ho, yeah. Betting on me like I was a racehorse. 791 00:37:24,859 --> 00:37:27,071 Ah. Don't look now. Here come your lovers. 792 00:37:27,095 --> 00:37:29,073 Julie, my darling. 793 00:37:29,097 --> 00:37:32,176 Can a guy apologize to a girl over a drink? 794 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,610 Sure. 795 00:37:33,634 --> 00:37:36,213 If the guy's drink is arsenic. 796 00:37:36,237 --> 00:37:37,403 I don't blame you. 797 00:37:39,358 --> 00:37:41,235 Look, um, Julie 798 00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:43,304 I know that this whole thing started out 799 00:37:43,328 --> 00:37:46,040 as a kind of childish game. 800 00:37:46,064 --> 00:37:49,344 But somewhere along the line, 801 00:37:49,368 --> 00:37:50,778 it stopped being a game for me 802 00:37:50,802 --> 00:37:55,900 and became something very, very real. 803 00:37:55,924 --> 00:37:57,201 Mm-hm. 804 00:37:57,225 --> 00:37:59,237 It was real for me too, Alex. 805 00:37:59,261 --> 00:38:00,261 It was? 806 00:38:01,646 --> 00:38:03,858 A real pain in the neck. 807 00:38:03,882 --> 00:38:07,261 Would you two both get lost? 808 00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:09,268 Gopher. 809 00:38:10,922 --> 00:38:12,867 Being a little rough on them. 810 00:38:12,891 --> 00:38:15,302 Hey, Gopher. I've had it with those two jerks. 811 00:38:15,326 --> 00:38:17,438 Now, Julie, wait a minute. If you think about it, 812 00:38:17,462 --> 00:38:19,040 they paid you a very high compliment. 813 00:38:19,064 --> 00:38:21,042 Oh, pardon me. Make that three jerks. 814 00:38:21,066 --> 00:38:23,177 No, no, wait. Just think about it. 815 00:38:23,201 --> 00:38:25,412 Julie, it's love. 816 00:38:25,436 --> 00:38:29,072 It's love! It's love. 817 00:38:30,241 --> 00:38:33,587 It's also... horse feathers. 818 00:38:33,611 --> 00:38:35,322 But I know what you mean. 819 00:38:54,966 --> 00:38:57,278 That's nice. 820 00:38:57,302 --> 00:38:59,947 Looks like love to me. 821 00:38:59,971 --> 00:39:01,849 Good old ship, you've done it again. 822 00:39:09,998 --> 00:39:12,610 Mm. This champagne is delicious. 823 00:39:12,634 --> 00:39:13,811 Isn't it, Doug? 824 00:39:13,835 --> 00:39:16,680 Nothing but the best for our silver anniversary. Heh. 825 00:39:16,704 --> 00:39:19,050 Just think how lucky you are, Dottie. 826 00:39:19,074 --> 00:39:20,551 Twenty-five years with 827 00:39:20,575 --> 00:39:22,353 the last of the big spenders. 828 00:39:22,377 --> 00:39:23,721 Who said that? Heh-heh. 829 00:39:23,745 --> 00:39:25,756 Are you sure your Beth won't be joining us? 830 00:39:25,780 --> 00:39:27,147 No, Mom, she's not coming. 831 00:39:28,450 --> 00:39:30,194 Uh, come on, Dottie, let's dance. 832 00:39:30,218 --> 00:39:33,031 Oh, Doug, don't drink up all the champagne 833 00:39:33,055 --> 00:39:34,399 before we get back. Heh. 834 00:39:34,423 --> 00:39:36,863 Sippy, sippy. Ha-heh. 835 00:39:48,686 --> 00:39:50,964 It's all your fault. 836 00:39:50,988 --> 00:39:52,233 My fault? All your fault. 837 00:39:52,257 --> 00:39:53,967 Yeah... Hi, guys. 838 00:39:53,991 --> 00:39:55,769 I had... Listen, it's his fault. 839 00:39:55,793 --> 00:39:57,671 I will accept none of the responsibility of this. 840 00:39:57,695 --> 00:39:59,695 You are a fool, my friend. 841 00:40:00,332 --> 00:40:02,310 I'm not mad at you anymore. 842 00:40:02,334 --> 00:40:03,877 You mean it? 843 00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:05,863 Mm-hm. And to prove it, 844 00:40:05,887 --> 00:40:09,333 I want the three of us to spend every possible minute together 845 00:40:09,357 --> 00:40:11,168 for the rest of this cruise. 846 00:40:11,192 --> 00:40:12,620 The three of us? Uh-huh. 847 00:40:12,644 --> 00:40:14,789 You mean, you're never gonna choose between us? 848 00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:16,157 No. 849 00:40:16,181 --> 00:40:19,376 Well, I guess we never find out who wins the pizza. 850 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,462 Pizza?! 851 00:40:21,486 --> 00:40:24,304 That's all I was worth to you, is a pizza? 852 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,006 With anchovies? 853 00:40:31,513 --> 00:40:33,190 Ancho... Those little things. 854 00:40:33,214 --> 00:40:34,894 A pizza. 855 00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:53,911 All out for the 17th floor, 856 00:40:53,935 --> 00:40:56,375 including all stockbrokers and their wives. 857 00:40:57,205 --> 00:40:59,316 I know. Too pushy. Beth... 858 00:40:59,340 --> 00:41:00,651 Look, I got a couple of pieces 859 00:41:00,675 --> 00:41:02,036 of good advice this afternoon. 860 00:41:02,060 --> 00:41:05,372 The first was... the only way to fix a broken heart 861 00:41:05,396 --> 00:41:07,341 was to turn it into a banana daiquiri. 862 00:41:07,365 --> 00:41:10,995 The second was, if you find a guy 863 00:41:11,019 --> 00:41:12,263 you're madly in love with, 864 00:41:12,287 --> 00:41:14,607 stick to him like glue, no matter what. 865 00:41:18,309 --> 00:41:21,460 So... I'm... I'm sticking. 866 00:41:25,533 --> 00:41:27,611 Okay, uh, ahem, 867 00:41:27,635 --> 00:41:29,202 then there's something you gotta know. 868 00:41:30,438 --> 00:41:32,404 You see those two small people dancing over there? 869 00:41:37,729 --> 00:41:38,845 They're my folks. 870 00:41:40,198 --> 00:41:43,244 And they are the two most wonderful people in the world. 871 00:41:43,268 --> 00:41:44,268 I know. 872 00:41:48,323 --> 00:41:50,334 You know what else? 873 00:41:50,358 --> 00:41:52,203 I'm not gonna stop bugging you 874 00:41:52,227 --> 00:41:55,072 until it's our 25th anniversary. Heh. 875 00:41:55,096 --> 00:41:57,924 Now, uh, do me a favor, huh? 876 00:41:57,948 --> 00:42:00,388 Pour me a little champagne. 877 00:42:06,958 --> 00:42:08,502 Sure, it's our anniversary, 878 00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:10,103 and you're doing all the celebrating. 879 00:42:10,127 --> 00:42:11,138 Oh. 880 00:42:11,162 --> 00:42:12,306 Happy anniversary. 881 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:17,845 Happy anniversary! 882 00:42:19,471 --> 00:42:20,848 Hey. Look at that. 883 00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:22,249 Congratulations. 884 00:42:22,273 --> 00:42:25,118 Oh, it's beautiful. You shouldn't have done it. 885 00:42:25,142 --> 00:42:27,421 Well, I'm sure glad they did. Ha. 886 00:42:27,445 --> 00:42:29,590 I only have one question, captain. 887 00:42:29,614 --> 00:42:30,925 Uh, what's that? 888 00:42:30,949 --> 00:42:33,427 Why did they make the cake so small? 889 00:42:33,451 --> 00:42:35,028 Who said that? 890 00:42:43,227 --> 00:42:46,006 Mm. What a night. 891 00:42:46,030 --> 00:42:47,074 Heh. 892 00:42:47,098 --> 00:42:49,343 Sure beats bowling with the boys. 893 00:42:51,869 --> 00:42:53,235 Oh. 894 00:43:01,028 --> 00:43:03,588 Stay here with me. 895 00:43:04,399 --> 00:43:06,660 I want to, but... No buts. 896 00:43:06,684 --> 00:43:08,562 Oh. 897 00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:10,286 Would you believe I'm nervous? 898 00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:13,767 For once, I'm not. 899 00:43:13,791 --> 00:43:15,969 Artie, it's just that you have this... 900 00:43:15,993 --> 00:43:20,040 This image of me, and I... I'm scared. I 901 00:43:20,064 --> 00:43:22,376 I'm scared I can't live up to it. 902 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,695 You've already lived up to and beyond 903 00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,830 any dream I ever had. 904 00:43:26,854 --> 00:43:28,983 You're a warm, wonderful lady. 905 00:43:29,007 --> 00:43:32,219 And I happen to be in love with you. 906 00:43:32,243 --> 00:43:35,022 Wow. Just like in the movies. 907 00:43:35,046 --> 00:43:36,579 Heh. 908 00:43:52,363 --> 00:43:54,709 I haven't been up this early since I had a paper route. 909 00:43:56,367 --> 00:43:58,567 Well, it must be love. 910 00:44:00,605 --> 00:44:01,704 It is. 911 00:44:04,308 --> 00:44:06,087 You know, I'm starving. 912 00:44:06,111 --> 00:44:07,588 Isn't it time for breakfast yet? 913 00:44:07,612 --> 00:44:09,857 Another hour. Another hour. 914 00:44:09,881 --> 00:44:11,358 But I don't wanna waste a single moment 915 00:44:11,382 --> 00:44:13,515 of our last day at sea. 916 00:44:15,987 --> 00:44:18,467 You know, it's back to the elevator for us. 917 00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:20,723 Hm. 918 00:44:21,793 --> 00:44:23,303 Would I be rushing things, do you think, 919 00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:26,229 if I said that I might like to take you away from all that? 920 00:44:27,932 --> 00:44:30,945 Oh, you mean, uh, we'd use the stairs? 921 00:44:33,805 --> 00:44:36,325 What's the matter with rushing things? 922 00:44:38,209 --> 00:44:40,988 Okay, if we married and had kids 923 00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:44,558 it's almost a hundred percent that they'd be normal. Mm-hm. 924 00:44:44,582 --> 00:44:46,894 But there is a chance in a million 925 00:44:46,918 --> 00:44:48,151 that they'd be small. 926 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:50,865 You know, a couple of days ago, 927 00:44:50,889 --> 00:44:53,433 that would have scared the daylights out of me. 928 00:44:53,457 --> 00:44:54,935 Now? 929 00:44:54,959 --> 00:44:57,071 Knowing your parents 930 00:44:57,095 --> 00:44:58,839 it just doesn't make any difference. 931 00:44:58,863 --> 00:44:59,896 Ah. 932 00:45:02,166 --> 00:45:03,177 Hm. 933 00:45:03,201 --> 00:45:04,778 How am I gonna get back to my room 934 00:45:04,802 --> 00:45:06,380 without everybody pointing? 935 00:45:06,404 --> 00:45:08,449 It's obvious I haven't been there all night. 936 00:45:08,473 --> 00:45:09,916 Ha. I'll lend you one of my suits. 937 00:45:09,940 --> 00:45:11,385 Hm. Wrong size. 938 00:45:11,409 --> 00:45:12,986 Here, you can have my pajamas. 939 00:45:13,010 --> 00:45:16,123 Oh. It won't match my shoes and bag. Ha. 940 00:45:16,147 --> 00:45:18,725 Oh, Artie. Artie, you're great. 941 00:45:18,749 --> 00:45:19,926 The feeling is mutual. 942 00:45:21,785 --> 00:45:22,785 Heh. 943 00:45:23,887 --> 00:45:25,566 I'm never gonna forget you, Mona. 944 00:45:25,590 --> 00:45:26,733 Well, now, wait a minute. 945 00:45:26,757 --> 00:45:29,636 That sounds like you're saying goodbye. 946 00:45:29,660 --> 00:45:32,406 Well, I... I am, really. 947 00:45:32,430 --> 00:45:35,775 I mean, I wouldn't presume to think that this could 948 00:45:35,799 --> 00:45:37,661 I don't believe it. 949 00:45:37,685 --> 00:45:39,529 Y-you think that I'm the kind of a woman 950 00:45:39,553 --> 00:45:41,699 who plays one-night stands? 951 00:45:41,723 --> 00:45:43,667 That I'm some cheap broad? 952 00:45:43,691 --> 00:45:45,002 Oh, mister, you've been 953 00:45:45,026 --> 00:45:47,004 seeing too damn many movies. 954 00:45:47,028 --> 00:45:48,694 Mona. Mona. 955 00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:52,392 Oh. 956 00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:54,217 What the hell am I doing? 957 00:45:55,486 --> 00:45:57,169 I love you, Artie. 958 00:45:58,857 --> 00:46:01,068 Don't let me go out this door. 959 00:46:01,092 --> 00:46:02,803 It's lonely out there. 960 00:46:02,827 --> 00:46:05,706 Oh, I won't, Mona. 961 00:46:05,730 --> 00:46:08,575 Not even if you wore my suit and my pajamas. 962 00:46:38,496 --> 00:46:39,840 Bye-bye. So long. 963 00:46:39,864 --> 00:46:41,308 We had a terrific time, guys. 964 00:46:41,332 --> 00:46:43,527 Oh, good. Yes, thank you so much. 965 00:46:43,551 --> 00:46:45,462 It's a pleasure. We hope to see you again. 966 00:46:45,486 --> 00:46:47,064 Listen, why don't you reserve a cabin now 967 00:46:47,088 --> 00:46:48,516 for your golden anniversary? 968 00:46:48,540 --> 00:46:52,007 Good idea. Especially if our son springs for it. Heh. 969 00:46:53,044 --> 00:46:54,788 I wonder where he is. 970 00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:55,912 Hey, shorty. 971 00:46:59,851 --> 00:47:01,951 Ah. One minute. 972 00:47:03,888 --> 00:47:05,932 You know what they say. 973 00:47:05,956 --> 00:47:07,751 Like father, like son. 974 00:47:07,775 --> 00:47:09,519 Oh, come on, Ralph. 975 00:47:09,543 --> 00:47:12,089 Stop trying to be such a big shot. 976 00:47:12,113 --> 00:47:13,456 Who said that? 977 00:47:15,783 --> 00:47:17,061 Hey. So long. 978 00:47:17,085 --> 00:47:18,361 Oh, it was wonderful. Goodbye. 979 00:47:18,385 --> 00:47:19,964 Bye-bye, Mrs. Warren. Nice to meet you. 980 00:47:19,988 --> 00:47:21,398 Hey, let's go, dear. 981 00:47:21,422 --> 00:47:22,672 So long. 982 00:47:23,657 --> 00:47:25,569 Julie. Julie. Yeah. 983 00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:26,670 Have you finished work yet? 984 00:47:26,694 --> 00:47:28,038 Just about. Gopher? Mm-mm. 985 00:47:28,062 --> 00:47:29,173 Would you please take care of 986 00:47:29,197 --> 00:47:30,841 the rest of the passengers for me? 987 00:47:30,865 --> 00:47:33,043 Where are you going? To get a pizza. My treat. 988 00:47:33,067 --> 00:47:34,278 With anchovies. 989 00:47:34,302 --> 00:47:35,745 Anchovies? Sausage. 990 00:47:35,769 --> 00:47:37,948 All right, anchovies, sausage and onions. 991 00:47:37,972 --> 00:47:39,850 Anchovies, sausage, onions and green peppers. 992 00:47:39,874 --> 00:47:41,685 No green peppers. I want green peppers. 993 00:47:41,709 --> 00:47:43,253 I want thick crust. 994 00:47:43,277 --> 00:47:45,622 All right, anchovies, sausage, onions, green pep... 995 00:47:47,081 --> 00:47:49,348 Let's forget the pizza and eat Chinese. 996 00:47:51,486 --> 00:47:53,280 - See you, buddy. - So long. 997 00:47:53,304 --> 00:47:54,798 Now, we're all meeting Saturday night 998 00:47:54,822 --> 00:47:56,032 at Chasen's for dinner, right? 999 00:47:56,056 --> 00:47:57,233 I wouldn't miss it. 1000 00:47:57,257 --> 00:47:58,234 Wait till I tell my mom 1001 00:47:58,258 --> 00:48:00,737 I'm having dinner with Mona Maxwell. 1002 00:48:00,761 --> 00:48:02,238 Oh, no. 1003 00:48:02,262 --> 00:48:03,807 You tell your mom you're having dinner 1004 00:48:03,831 --> 00:48:06,410 with Artie D'Angelo and his girl. 1005 00:48:06,434 --> 00:48:07,644 Ha. Okay. 1006 00:48:07,668 --> 00:48:08,978 Bye-bye, Isaac. Bye-bye. 1007 00:48:09,002 --> 00:48:10,447 Goodbye, Mona. Thank you, Merrill. 1008 00:48:10,471 --> 00:48:11,671 Good luck, Artie. 70876

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