All language subtitles for Not Dead Yet S01E02 Not a Tiger Yet

- Morning. One for you.
- Oh! Thank you.

One for me.

That is
a very large coffee.

It's actually 13 shots
of espresso.

It's been rough.

I'm having a hard time
not bringing work home with me.

Have you had your
carbon monoxide monitor checked?

- I smell gas.
- Yeah?

You afraid you're
gonna die more?

And what do you know
about robotics?

Fun fact-- the word "robot"

comes from the Czech word
"robota,"

which means forced labor.

At least one of us doesn't have
to worry about heart disease.

For now.

I just don't think writing
obituaries is good for my head.

Ugh, I totally get it.

- Yeah.
- No, I don't. I'm sorry.

I love my job.

Oh, don't be sorry that
you're the lifestyle editor

and you have
this massive office

with light and oxygen
and dignity.

Also be glad you don't have
the weird intern

just following you around,
glaring at you.

Oh, yeah, Mason.

Thinks he's better
than everyone

just because
he went to Dartmouth.

Pretty confident
for a guy

that gets dropped off by his mom
every morning.

His generation never got
bullied in high school.

- They're invincible.
- Mm.

Hey. Hi. I'm--

The other intern who
I will delight in defeating.

Um, okay.

Um, but I'm not an intern.

Then why'd they
give you my office?

- The storage closet?
- Yes, intern.

Must be because you're like
25 years older than me

and they felt bad for you.

You do know I get paid
to work here.

Doesn't mean
you can steal my closet.

The battle of the interns
is on.

Only one can survive.

Again, I'm not a--
Oh. Mnh.

Never mind.

SAM [sighs]:
I wish I loved anything

as much as Tina loves salads.

You have two children.

- Yeeeeahhhhh.
- Mm.

Stop the presses!

Does she know that's not
a real thing anymore?

When she says that, it usually
means that her dad has called

and the numbers aren't good.

I just got off the phone
with my father,

and the numbers for the paper

- are not good.
- Yeah.

That is creepy you speak Lexi.

Readership is down.

We need to find a way
to get eyeballs on us.

We need that
clickety clickety buzz buzz.

- Mm?
- Topical stories

- that are socially relevant.
- Ah.

You!
You're young.

What drugs are you on?
We could write about that.

Claritin and an asthma inhaler,
as needed.

Yeah, well, that's going
to change, okay?

We'll do an exposé.

We're gonna enroll you
at Euphoria High School.

Somebody wire this kid up!

Lexi, Lexi, babe, remember,

Euphoria High School
is not a real high school.

Oh, right.

Thank you.

The point is
we need better news, okay?

And good stories
can come from anywhere.

Tina, leave the salad alone!

Come on,
who's got something?

Please don't look at me.
Into the shadows.

I'd like a chance to pitch.

Oh, no.

I need young and relatable.

You write about old and dead.

Ouch.

Unless that translates
to something else?

It doesn't.

- Ouch.
- Mm.

Knock, knock.

Wow.

- Huh?
- This is still depressing.

So you want to tell Lexi I can
do more than write obituaries

and end my nightmare?

Girl, you know I would
if I could, but I can't.

But cheer up-- I have a little
something special for you.

A better smell
for my office?

- No, that's in the walls.
- Yeah.

I have your next assignment.

Motivational speaker
Jane Marvel

from her series
Unleashing Your Inner Tiger.

This helped me
come out to my dad.

- Mm.
- Although, I think I got

some of the jargon wrong

because he thought
I was joining the Marines.

Anyway... happy obit writing.

"Elevate your confidence
and become a majestic tiger

in 36 powerful steps."

Jane Marvel.

- Hello, tiger.
- Oh.

Who's ready to get
the success they want

and want
the success they get?

Oh, boy. M-kay.

So, what are you?

Are you
my spiritual advisor?

- Hasta mañana, Becky.
- Okay.

Are you an angel?

Keep it real, Vernon.

- Maybe I'm the angel?
- That makes more sense.

Good luck with that MRI, Serena.

Thank you.

Nope, I've had it
with you ghosts.

- You are not coming with me.
- Ghost?

- Oh.
- Oh, whoa, well...

that's a perk.

Oh! What's next?

Look, lady, this is how
this is gonna go.

You'll follow me around,
annoying me for a day or two,

until I write
your obituary.

They'll print it in
the back of the paper

- where no one will read it.
- Oh.

I'll have a mild panic attack
about my life,

- and then you'll move on.
- I've been in weirder spots.

Luckily for me,

I've recently made a friend
who owns a wine bar.

So I'm going to go there,

start at Chardonnay
and work my way to Zinfandel.

Oh.

- There you go.
- Cricket, I love your place.

- Aww!
- It's beautiful.

It's got you,
it's got ambience,

it's got alcohol.

You know, Monty and I met
wine tasting in Spain.

- Mmm.
- We always dreamed

- of opening our own place.
- Mm.

We did, he died,
and here I am.

How are you holding up?

- I'm all right.
- Yeah?

All of our customers
have been so kind and loving.

That's sweet.

Girl, it is getting
on my nerves.

- What?
- No, I--

I appreciate
the sympathy, I do,

but I just wish people
would stop tiptoeing around me,

you know, and just be real.

I can't believe
you did that--

Thank you all so much
for coming.

- Ohh.
- Oh, we're very sorry

for your loss.

Just know that grief
comes in waves.

Oh, damn it, Nell.

Not you, too.

It's a lovely metaphor.

- Grief is like the sea.
- Enh.

- Whatever, Cricket.
- Enh.

Rise and shine!

Oh!

- God!
- Oh!

Before I am sent
to that jungle in the sky,

I have decided to make you
my last disciple.

No, thanks, I'm good.

We did not get up
to give up.

Your work habitat
was pretty bleak,

so I'm hoping
your home life is better.

Oh, yes!
Peloton. Ha ha!

Do not underestimate the power
of exercise in the jungle.

Do you know that the panther
travels 20 miles per day

doing a zig-zag pattern?

- Do panthers eat Froot Loops?
- Uh, hmm.

Morning, Nell.

Good, you're married.

We can skip ahead
to disc three.

Reminder, we made a deal
that you were gonna walk Arthur

by 8:00 a.m.
if you're gonna live here.

An adult roommate.
That tracks.

I'm glad you
brought up the rules.

I'd like to make
an amendment

to move the Peloton
out of the dining area

so that we can do
a proper kitchen table.

Why? There's plenty of places
you could eat--

in your bedroom,
or you could eat on the couch

if you put a blanket down.

You could even eat in the
bathroom if you're a monster.

Or the breakfast bar
if it wasn't so covered

in your weird little piles.

No, these are important
legal briefs, okay?

I'm working on a case.

Don't put the bowl
on the handles, please.

My job is important, too,

but you don't see me hogging up
all the eating area.

Really? Are you trying to
block construction

of a minor league baseball
stadium on a marsh that's home

to the endangered southwestern
willow flycatcher,

which controls insect population
around waterways and wetlands?

I could if I wanted to.

Nell, I'm trying to save
something that's alive--

I'm not writing book reports
about dead people.

- All right, have a nice day.
- Mm-hmm.

Are you really gonna let that
tall piece of broccoli

walk all over you like that?

I'm not letting him
walk all over me.

He's on the spectrum,

and honesty
is part of his personality.

Mm.

I watched a TikTok about it.

- Hey!
- Hey!

I got us salads, huh?

I thought we could have lunch
in your luxurious office.

I really wish I could,

but Lexi scheduled a pitch
meeting with all the editors,

and she had
some lobster flown in.

She thinks that expensive food
will really motivate people.

And it does.

But I'll sneak you
some lobster, okay?

Euphoria Kid!
You're coming, too!

- A nickname already.
- Oh!

Oh, Sam, these pants
are fabulous.

- Come in!
- The intern is going?

But he's just an intern!

Looks like
you're stuck in the bullpen

with the salad eaters.

Ugh. Can't believe Mason
got invited.

Cheers, everybody!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

When I started at the paper,
I had so much momentum.

God, if I hadn't moved
to London with Phillip,

I could've
been in there, too.

I'll say to you what I said
to Dermot Mulroney--

doesn't matter
that you could've

'cause you didn't.

Dermot and I are on
different paths.

Oh, I-- I--

Oh, God.

And by the way,
I'm getting really tired

of listening
to dead people.

Then do something about it.

Oh, come on,
you heard Lexi,

she isn't interested
in my ideas.

Do you think that the tiger
just waits for a chubby baby

to come wandering
into the jungle?

No! Of course not.

It saunters
into the villages,

and it snatches one
from the mother's teat!

Well...

You know...

When I heard about the case
that Edward was working on

about saving
the southwestern flycatcher,

I immediately thought that
it would make a great feature.

Yeah.
Write the article.

It's a win-win-win.

You get a new job,
I get my last triumph,

and you don't have to
hang out with ghosts anymore.

Screw it.

Jane, make me a tiger.

Okay, this will be good.

You know, it's been a while

since I've done
some meaningful writing.

I can do this, right?

"I can do this, right?"

If I wasn't a ghost,
I'd smack you across the face.

Mm.

You just need a boost.

- Hit "play."
- Okay.

The jungle--
nature's proving ground.

Kill or be killed.

What is your jungle?

Could it be your office?

Your bedroom?

- Your church?
- Okay, wait.

How-- How long is this?

17 1/2 mind-blowing hours.

I don't have time for this.

I'll just give you
the broad strokes.

Step one--
Dreams are just wishes.

Set a goal
and do the work.

Step eight--

A no is just a yes
that doesn't know it yet.

Councilman,
I'll ask again--

how much
of the city's tax credit

is going to fund
the stadium?

Ugh!

I can't work like this.

Are we gonna score
some coke?

Oh, I-- I was talking
about my workspace.

Oh!

- Don't move.
- Huh?

Why are there more screws
than holes?

Step 17-- When you feel small,
make yourself big.

Ooh, do you have
any thick maxi pads?

I don't see how
that's even a--

- I knew it.
- Go get them.

Huh?

Congratulations!

You can move on
to disc two.

What's happening?

I'm writing an article
about your case.

Well, the southwestern
willow flycatcher thanks you,

but why the hell
did you move my bike?

Because I live here, too.

And if you can have a stupid
bike that doesn't go anywhere,

I can have a Flurskydur
that I get to eat breakfast on.

It's difficult having
a conversation with you

when you look like three kids
stacked on top of each other

trying to sneak into
an R-rated movie.

You know, disc one Nell would
just take your honesty crap.

Well, now I'm gonna be
honest with you.

You have too many dumb rules
and unreasonable expectations,

and you are super annoying
to live with.

Noted.

Oh.

Well done.

And now it's time
for the final step--

exploit
all your resources.

I mean, this is a very bold
choice for a Wednesday.

I'm trying a thing.

You're trying something.

- Hello!
- Cricket, yes!

I want you to meet
my very best friend, Sam.

Hi.

She helped me get my job
at the paper.

Well, I have to thank you
for bringing Nell into my life.

She wrote the most beautiful
obituary for my husband, Monty.

Oh. I am so sorry
for your loss.

But, remember,
when one door closes,

another window opens.

Oh. Mm.
Thank you for that.

You're so welcome.

- Mm-hmm.
- Empathy is my superpower.

- For sure.
- Yeah.

So, I wrote an exposé

on the corruption
around the ballpark

going into the wetlands,

and it's the best thing
I have ever written.

Uh...

I want you to show Lexi.

- Nell.
- You heard her!

This is the kind
of journalism she wants.

And you guys
are friends, yeah?

You speak her language.

You just got this job
writing obituaries.

Why are you trying to rush off
and do something else?

Two minutes!

That was a two-minute plank.

I really can't explain it.

I just need to do
anything else.

See, I love you,
but it just sounds to me

like you're trying
to skip some steps.

Oh, she doesn't get us.
You gotta cut her loose.

You're right.
I shouldn't have brought it up.

No. The article
is no big deal.

Let's drink our lunch.

All right.

We'll find another way.

Hey, Tina, who's in charge
of uploading

the, um, articles
to the paper's website?

Mm.

Wow, that's
a really thick salad.

Thank you.

Everything has to go
through the section editor

who then sends it
to the Internet upload engineer.

I don't think
I've met them yet.

- It's Mason.
- He helped Lexi fix the font

size on her phone this morning,

and now she thinks
he's an I.T. god.

Hey.

Oh, you look oily.

Yeah.

I went a little nuts
on the hot butter yesterday.

Mm.

Really took a toll
on my body.

- My bamboo sheets are ruined.
- Gross.

But seeing the look
on your face

made every clarified sip
worth it.

Actually, that's why I'm here.
I mean, I--

I really want us to stop
competing with each other

and start supporting
each other.

Why?

Cool, we have a deal?
Awesome.

Now, I need you
to upload an article

that Dennis is
too busy to upload,

but he totally
wants uploaded.

And, uh, this feels great.
This feels good.

I'm glad we're friends.

- Clearly you're lying.
- What?

I won't do it.

Unless...

Okay, just say it.
What do you want?

$5,000 and a Miata.

- No!
- My office back.

- Deal.
- Yesss.

Yesss!

Ow!

Oh, it has been a pleasure
making you less pathetic.

Yeah, and if you're the last
dead person that I talk to,

it's been weird.

Aww! I know.

Oh, ka-boom!

- Ooh, yes!
- We did it!

- I'm back, baby!
- Yeah!

- What have you done?
- Huh?

Lexi wants to see us
in her office.

Because she read my article?

And loved it?

And wants to give me
a promotion?

And some lobster?

Mnh. All sales of
Unleash Your Inner Tiger

are final.

Your article
has been taken down.

What you did was
completely egregious.

One mistake,
and we could have been sued.

Also that jacket is gross,

and you smell like
summer rain.

It's my shoulders.

Nell, Nell, Nell.

Do you spell that
with an "N" or a "K-N"?

What is that?

This is my book of chances.

I keep a tally
for each of my employees

and how many chances they have
left before they get fired.

How many do I have?

- Five.
- Ah.

Nell, you had one.

That makes five sound
pretty good.

We'll always be friends.

- All right.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

A few years ago, I moved away
and I screwed up my life.

And I want you to know that
I really appreciate this job,

but since I've been
writing obituaries,

I've been weirdly
stuck in my head

and I haven't done
my best work.

I know I could be more valuable
to this paper

as an investigative journalist.

Hm.

I don't think I follow.

Lexi.

What Nell is saying
is that she thinks

she can give you
the clickety clickety boom,

and if you take away
that last chance,

she won't be able to prove

that she can give you
the zip to the zap-zop.

Now, that I understand.

Why didn't she say that
in the first place?

Sam, you get
eight more chances.

Can I just use one of
those chances

to say that Nell is
a really great writer?

Hm.
Well, she must be.

I've been getting a lot
of e-mails to the editor

praising her obituaries.

- What?
- For some reason, you've really

connected with our readers.

What?
Wait. Really?

Yes. And most of them
say the same thing--

that it really seems like
you actually know

the person
that you've been writing about.

Which is why I need you
to do your job.

Unless, of course,
you don't want it,

and then I can just
go right back here and--

No, no, no, she wants it.
Nell, nod.

- Oh.
- Up and down, there we go.

Let's go, let's go.
Thank you.

Oh, you know what?
Did you ever think about

putting together
a book of praises?

Did you ever think about
making a book of bad ideas?

Oh.

Thank you.

Thanks for saving my ass.

I just-- I--

I can't believe
you were gonna give up

- one of your chances for me.
- Ah!

Are you kidding?
Her kid bit my kid.

So I actually have
unlimited chances.

- Nice!
- I know, right?

I guess I--

I just get so caught up
in what I'm not doing

that I don't realize
I'm doing something... good.

Yeah, you gotta
do that sometimes.

- Yeah. You do.
- I do?

It's like you don't think
you're far enough along,

so you just jump
into something else.

You just did it with this.

And you kinda did it
when you dropped everything

and moved your entire life
for Phillip.

So maybe it's time
to just, like,

be patient
and enjoy where you're at.

Here? This place?

Yes, here in this place,
you know, with me.

Look, I may speak Lexi,

but you know
my first language is Nell.

Love you.

Oh.

You're welcome.

For what?

You almost made me
lose my job.

Or did I make you want
the success you got?

You're exhausting.

Five out
of my six ex-husbands

said the same thing.

I'm genuinely excited
to write about you.

- Ooh.
- Yeah.

Let's start with
how you first realized

you had this talent.

Oh, great story.

So, I did one semester
of zoology

at Arizona State and had parents
that withheld love.

Oh.

Hi.

Let me move my Flurskydur.

- Thanks.
- Yep.

I'm sorry I said
you were annoying.

It's fine.

It's better if people are
straightforward with me, anyway.

Oh, my gosh.

My girlfriend says
I'm annoying all the time.

She also says
that obituaries

aren't book reports
for dead people,

because they offer
closure and comfort,

which I never really thought of,
but I guess is true.

Yeah, um, I'm starting
to see that now, too.

I'm gonna clip out.

Okay.

If we're gonna live together,

I think it's best that we work
on our communication a bit.

I'm down with that.

Hopefully it'll help me
better understand

your irrational
and erratic mood swings,

also your obsession
with tables.

You're not gonna let
the table go, are you?

Autistic people
just hate tables now.

- Really?
- No, I'm joking.

I beg you, please,

stop getting all your
information from TikTok.

But it's just--
it's so quick and trendy.

- Hey!
- Hey!

There she is,
my favorite new customer.

Edward, I'd like you
to meet my friend Cricket.

Oh, it is lovely
to meet you.

I heard your husband
passed away.

I literally just told you
not to say anything.

That must suck. You're still
fit. You're young.

You've got a lot of years
left alone.

Well, maybe 20.

Edward!
Cricket, I am so sorry.

No, really, I love it.

Finally some honesty.

Plus, he's right,
I've still got it going on.

But here you are,
very alone.

He's dead. He died.

Yes, it's devastating.

- It's a total waste.
- It is!

You're pathetic, ya old bag.

Nell, the woman
just lost her husband.

- I thought we were doing a--
- Thought what?

Oh, screw you guys.

He died.

- Ah, don't you--
- He did!

You've got a lot of nerve,
you know that?

You know what?

Captions by VITAC--