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A day to die will come, for me too.

And all those I have seen and heard will go away.

Even if others live this must be the last judgement on me.

My face in marble will wear away in weeping.

For I am all women,

and also none.

TO HAPPINESS

RESISTING TO HAPPINESS IS FUTILE

Who were you, what kind of person were you?

I came to the match with the hope of seeing you for the second time.

Yet, hope of what?

I already took the risk of being disgraced by this letter.

I am shivering...

What if you don't come?

You came.

It's just turned to 14:00 in Ece's timezone.

I was watching you since the beginning.

How beautifully you waited me...

Stop!

You're so beautiful! Don't go.

I solemnly declare this place,

“You're-So-Beautiful-Don't-Go“ Corner!

We are going to love each other.

But it feels like we don't have the right to do that.

Yet, right of what?

What we should have done then?

Should we have surrendered ourselves to this life

organized by those who resist against the happiness?

Despite all I will stay in touch with Erman.

Because we're part of the same choir.

And what we will see is going to be a man decaying, vanishing.

We may not be able to find peace, the thing we need the most.

And this would lead us to a disaster.

Ali, what the hell is this?

I posted our selfie on Instagram, bro.

Well, you fucked up!

What happened?

Zeynep saw our photo

and sent a message asking whether I am in Istanbul.

Well in this case...

Heart...

Heart...

Heartbroken...

- Broken... - Bro...

Last Summer...

One night I could not sleep.

I decided to take the first flight to Istanbul.

Why didn't you call us then?

I directly went to Zeynep's street.

Even her disgusting curtains stay the same.

I waited maybe more than three hours!

I even don't know if she's at home or not,

just looking to her window like an idiot.

Could not find the guts to ring the bell.

Oh my...

Seems like we haven't become mad enough with love.

We had a stuffed mussel seller boy, on the Galata Bridge.

Found him. He got older. Still at the same place.

Giving me one by one with squeezing lemon on it.

I eat constantly...

Fucking tears came from my eyes bro?

Could not stop crying like a baby.

The mussel seller swears not to put chilli inside.

I eat non-stop by the way.

In the end I finished the whole plate.

Say farewell to him...

And take the first plane back.

Hey bro, how are you?

I am not good Mazhar.

What's up?

Come on.

She's with you, isn't she?

I don't understand Erman.

You're lying. Don't.

I bet Ece's next to you, wondering what I'm telling you,

how I'm shaming her.

How would you build happiness over my misery?

You're making no sense.

Aren't you ashamed?

On your conscience be it! Liars!

Go on, tell her!

There is no need to care about me anymore.

Say “Erman the Armenian spawn, with no mother and a useless father,

loves you so much!“

Tell her, “He says you're the only person that he can really talk to.“

You really buried me alive.

What a great mate you turned out to be, congratulations!

I never asked much from anyone...

I was happy with things the way they were.

My mother was the only person who ever loved me.

I hope you get what you deserve!

A WORLD FOR US BOTH

The Knight With Innocent Face.

I came for the haemorrhoids doctor, but they sent me to you instead.

Worrying about my wife catching something...

Have you had sex with her within 2 or 3 months?

Once.

OK.

Doctor! Nurse!

The doc will check you all.

We have at least fifty more patients.

OK.

I really don't go near her much.

Do you use a rubber when you have sex with other people apart from your wife?

Does it hurt when you sit down?

I've got an inflatable ring, it does the trick.

We need to send you and your wife for an HIV PCR test immediately.

The nurse will take care of it.

Come back to me as soon as you get the results.

You're not to touch your wife at least two months. OK?

It feels good to lay my hands on your soft skin.

As if you scrub my skin and open up my pores in a hammam.

When you leave the hammam they wrap you in clean towels...

you have an ice-cold soda.

The liquid slipping down your throat, brings such a bliss...

That is the effect you have on me.

Sometimes you're asking me whether I'm hurting?

Probably my face looks as if I'm in pain...

You're so deep inside me, you're really scaring me...

But sometimes I want to hurt you too.

As if I will finally get through to you by hurting you...

Still, it scares me that I want you so much.

What's so scary?

Aren't you my knight with innocent face?

You can do something for your knight.

What is it?

Heat up some milk while I'm in the shower!

My Spermman!

Superman.

Clark Kent during the day at the hospital...

Superman in your arms at night!

No silly! Not Superman, Sperm-man!

Sperm-man...

Superman!

Hi?

Hi.

- Thank you very much. - See you Mr. Haldun!

Please let us know if you need anything.

I'm so sorry.

I told Ece I wouldn't be coming back, but I got soaked.

I see...

You are Mazhar I guess?

- Spermman, will you scrub my back? - I'm Tijen.

Nice to meet you. I'm very sorry.

No no prob...

Cimcime who let you out?

- I'll try to... - No, don't you bother...

Cookies with tahini and white tea!

VIP treatment from TJ!

You've gone to too much trouble Ms. TJ.

Ms. TJ!

Our fool loves nicknames, my proper name's Tijen.

I'm sure she also found something for you...

Let this tea bless our ancestors!

I can't make tea to save my life.

- This is you I guess? - TJ is identical to my mum.

They're twins but she's more of a fizgig.

Take it easy Cimcime! We can't chat, my boy...

Cimcime is the man of the house.

He sometimes loses his temper

but always has a place on top of our heads.

Ece knows me, I say it how it is.

Please...

Dear Mazhar, why you are here is obvious.

If we ask her mother, she'll treat Ece like the 'Virgin Mary'...

Can you stop it?

No.

Is there any need to?

Well, it depends on the man.

Is this girl not going to make love?

Of course she will.

You'll only go to a hotel

then they'll ask for a marriage certificate – more rubbish.

Meet here. So much better!

Well, it's only a year and a half

since I came back from my post-grad in Canada.

I got appointed to the state hospital straight away,

so I haven't had time to find a new place to live...

And that's the best thing for you.

There's nothing like a mother's home-cooking...

No.

I don't know the first thing about cooking.

Look at this girl, she's wasting away.

Hopefully her mother comes from Izmir and fills the fridge for weeks.

My mum passed away two months ago.

I'm so sorry. My condolences.

You weren't to know.

She had a tumour that might have been cancerous.

So we thought it was best to have it removed.

I thought...

Sadly, she never came round after the operation...

From here on, it's just us.

What do you mean?

This is the male ward. You are not allowed.

Are you serious?!

He's just 19, how can I leave him?

Where's his father? He can stay with him.

There's no father!

- Sorry the new rules are like that. - Let me in!

- I will call the police! - Go ahead. Just there.

- Ha run, what's going on here? - Professor, she tries to enter.

- I am his mother! - Have some respect!

Ha run, get the patient inside!

- I am his mother. - Sorry ma'am.

He is my patient, let her inside for a while. Professor?

- Ha run! - Yes sir.

Calm down.

- Are you Mesut's mother? - Yes.

I'm the duty doctor tonight. Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him.

Step back a bit.

Is it new?

You did not like it?

It's a bit different.

Gift...

Don't worry, OK?

We will work separately with you.

- Hi. - Hi.

Mazhar, Şahika. They are my friends.

Thanks.

Dip it into salt also.

How is it?

Sour but nice.

Hello.

Come my girl.

Come on you already ate one kilo of green plums since morning!

Hold that.

And you too please.

Don't leave them otherwise my belly will get bigger and bigger.

Come on you're really thin.

- Am I really? - I mean thin in a good way.

Ladies, as your doc worked hard all week his head's done in.

Shall we start heading off slowly?

Oh you start talking like a 70-year-old again.

Indeed, you are so boring.

My dear Şahika we should hangout separately.

You can join our church choir in my neighbourhood.

A church?

- But I am not a Christian. - Nor am I.

As they don't have enough community anymore, they accept choristers from Muslims to atheists.

And even some eager souls like me.

Don't say that.

I mess up after having singing lessons for years.

I'm just not as talented as İlhan.

İlhan?

Dear parents and dear children,

today, at this fete organised to raise money for our sister-school

I am honoured to announce that we accept Elif Sena

with full scholarship to our private school.

- Elif Sena? - Thank you.

Dear Teacher Ece, come join us to have a picture.

- At least hold this. - It's already funny come on please.

Are we ready?

Can I apply lipstick also?

It's mine I hope it's OK?

Hold this.

Just a sec.

- Is it fine? - Super fine.

It works better on you than me!

You ready? I'm shooting.

“You're-So-Beautiful-Don't-Go“ Corner.

...How many times have I told you not to squabble with İsmail?

Professor...

Her son's face was badly burnt because of the explosion.

She was a wreck from waiting in the corridor.

I let her sleep on the stretcher in my room.

I was in Emergency until morning. I've got witnesses.

Why do you need such a statement from me my dear...

Don't I know you?

Am I a dickhead?

Sorry professor.

Well... We can say that I'm the head of all those dicks.

İsmail undermines me anyway...

Fortunately I learned of the issue before it went straight to the Head Doctor.

If you continue like that they can see off your professorship too.

Now take some leave.

Have a rest.

Besides Avni and İsmail both leave over Ramadan.

How is Şahika by the way?

She was not well at the funeral.

They trapped people between hon our and career.

The administration asks for the catering company,

a list of the ones who doesn't fast during Ramadan.

Better not to give your name. Eat outdoors.

I've got two years until my retirement.

Then I'm off to the island.

But you're still young...

Either you be patient until you become assistant professor.

Or you go for money at a private hospital.

Or simply you take your beautiful lover and go abroad.

COMPANIONSHIP

Isn't it to time to learn finally?

Actually, İlhan wanted to teach me...

You mean Mr. İlhan, your father?

Once we went to my gran's summerhouse,

but as they had a quarrel, we had to leave early with mom.

I didn't get round to learning there. I never got the chance again.

I can teach you in an hour.

I'm not saying I don't want to learn!

But you only get leave once so I'm just saying let's not waste it on this.

Please you don't say also 'leave', it's my 'right', a holiday.

So now... Ready...

Give me your bag at least. It will upset your balance.

Spermman will protect me!

OK.

- Ready! - Go!

- Holding. - Don't let go.

1... 2... 3... 3... Go... Pedal!

Baby there are cliffs up there...

Come on!

I told you not to let go!

Look how far you went on your own. That's not bad, is it?

It's bad!

Better now?

Aren't you the Knight With Innocent Face?

You just need to find your balance and you'll never forget...

Promise, believe me.

I've had enough now!

Look darling, nobody forgets the first moment riding a bike.

So the memory of our first holiday would never leave you.

You really screwed up the day...

In my dream, I was besieging Vienna for the 3rd time.

Surrounding me muscled janissaries, cannons, rifles...

Blow!

They keep asking me for my order to capture the city this time!

Bloody janissaries...

Could you capture the city then?

Oh no...

Wolfgang seduced me through the city walls with his piano tune.

Wolfgang who?

Amadeus.

Blow!

Oh I know freckly Ece I know...

The craters of the moon are named after VIP.

So if the excellency accepts,

we should name the mole on your belly, 'MAZHAR'.

With pleasure Spermman.

What if we got married?

You must be kidding!

I'm serious.

Why wait?

We marry then we go away...

Go away where? How would we get by?

Look who's talking about getting by!

What's that supposed to mean?

Of course, I'm not saying right this minute,

but how about in the spring?

No need for a fancy wedding – just a small party within family...

We could go to India for the honeymoon, just like your dreams?

Oh! I mean, India... You hit me from my weakest point.

But as your knight with innocent face, I can bless you...

with my sword and maybe marry you off to someone else.

Forget it.

Mind you, I'd be jealous. I'd chop off the other woman's head right here.

Let's just drop it.

What's up with you...

Just having fun...

I got it but it hurts.

Come on were you being serious?

I didn't want to make you feel awkward with a clean-cut proposal...

But you could at least show some respe...

No, really, I loved it that you proposed.

And I loved it that you turned me down.

Ooo he gets upset so easily... There there...

Should I throw myself into your lap, crying with joy?

I'm not intending to marry anyone until I'm at least 45.

OK, you'll live alone then.

Why alone, my kid will look after me.

In Turkey? Without getting married?

Why not? You don't want us to have kids?

At least three...

Two! I am already a daughter of twins. We have a high chance to have twins.

Every weekend we walk all together at Bosphorus.

You cook and change their diapers.

We leave them from time to time to TJ...

And we send them to Islamic public school...

Or we spend the half of our income to private?

As if I am going to give birth tomorrow.

What if if you don't plan every shit darling?

Come on...

What's up again? Go to sleep...

You farted.

Farted like there's no tomorrow.

My mommy used to complain when my dad farted at any occasion.

He came out saying...

"He who farts good will be a good father...

Besides nothing bad will stay inside a good person."

Babes come on give me a hand.

What the hell is that?

It's hard my dear, really hard...

Ah, how pretty it is!

Yep!

What's that?

Leave it. I'll unpack that.

- Huh heavy! - I will handle it don't worry.

Caution there's a nuclear bomb inside!

- Who is it? - Open!

What's he doing here?

He insisted on helping, saying you wouldn't be able to manage.

I told him to come afterwards but he wouldn't listen.

Is it really your dad coming?!

Why didn't you say?

I didn't get that he'd come in the end anyway.

You should have told me...

Hera, what a surprise!

Hera calm down honey. I miss you too...

She is jumping at home even when she hears your name

as you don't come for a visit.

So I brought her for good luck to your home.

How it's going?

Good.

Enjoy your new home.

They've not done a bad job.

But you should have had new PVC windows...

We'll sort everything out bit by bit.

Weren't you going to get a cornice for curtains?

Will do.

So where is Ece?

She went out to buy a few things...

Good... Good...

Ma'ashallah! The house has hardly got a cup in it...

But you invested in a huge bed.

Come on daddy!

OK... Go away... Go.

Go away... Go.

Let's leave here.

Slowly...

Daddy have a rest, if you wish.

It's all right if a doctor doesn't screw bolts.

Open the window of the rear room let it breeze a bit.

Istanbul was never hot like that.

It looks like that girl's not coming...

What are you doing?

It's Ramadan time, he is fasting.

How's the poor girl supposed

to know what to get in a hardware store?

You can tell simply that she is privileged!

It will be so...

He finally found a girl but we never hear a word from him...

When your mum gave birth to you she was 23, I was 24.

For god's sake dad, don't start again...

We've so many things to do.

- Leave it to me... Just a minute. - Listen to me!

If you marry today, the earliest you'll become a father is 35.

It'll break your back when the baby starts bouncing and jumping!

Your lovely mother left us without seeing her grandchildren.

Everyone wants to see their own grandchild and hold them in their arms.

- What's wrong with that! - Dad, calm down!

All the neighbours are hearing us.

Ece will be here soon.

It is not that easy after working 40 years working with a lathe!

Attention! It's heavy!

Dad!

Shower curtains in this time!

The girl deserves a shower cabin!

Why there is no water?

Water supply has been cut off since yesterday night.

How did you find this old shabby district?

Mr. Haldun?

What's the matter? Do you need help?

You're so kind, young lady. Thanks.

I'm Ece, Uncle Haldun, your upper neighbour.

Really?

That's good...

I went to the shop to get some milk in the morning

but it looks like I forgot my keys.

I can't find my key...

No worries...

Come to ours for now and catch your breath. I'll call the locksmith.

How are you Cimcime?

Please sit down, Mr. Haldun.

You're already tired.

It's better if I don't sit down, my girl.

Absolutely no problem. Let me accompany you to the bathroom.

No, it's OK. I'm wearing a diaper

but I was sitting on the stairs for so long, my trousers got messed up.

Don't even think of it, Uncle Haldun... Please... sit down.

If you don't mind, is it OK if I have a look for the key myself?

Of course, my girl. If only you could find it...

No...

I could not wake Mücella from her beauty sleep.

I rang the bell so much but...

No need uncle Haldun.

Maybe we should try once again. It's tea time.

Mücella should be woken up already.

Auntie Mücella was my idol.

May she rest in eternal peace.

Well...

I am too old to remember.

The ticker doesn't work as well as it used to.

When Mücella was alive, she used to keep me organised.

She used to help me out when I was confused...

But now...

We were together for 53 years.

I left the Archaeology Faculty...

And did 3 years of military service at the navy.

Then I got a job at the museum.

In my office there was this a pain in the ass girl.

Oh god...

I always liked big women...

When she was annoyed with me, she used to say,

“I don't understand what you liked about me in the first place!“

I used to look straight into her eyes and smile.

Last year, I woke up early in the morning.

I looked and there she was, sleeping next to me.

I watched and watched.

“Dear Lord, I could never have too much of her“ I said to myself.

“Please take me first...'“.

Now, I just count the days.

I'm really sorry, Uncle Haldun. I'll bring you another one.

I'll go and check the locksmith.

Uncle Haldun...

The locksmith came and opened your door.

It looks like you left your key in the door.

Oh, no need to wake Mücella then...

Love me.

Love me.

NEITHER WITH NOR WITHOUT YOU

- Thank you once again Doctor... - You're welcome, kiss Mesut for me.

Anymore patients?

- Where did you come out from? - From the fortune cookie!

You should've let me know.

Why? Does every patient tell you before they come?

I got a proper appointment and came.

- You took an appointment? - Yes... Look...

So she did, the maniac.

We don't lie.

- Nurdan, you enjoy tea if you wish. - Of course.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Did you come to play doctor, miss?

Yes, Mr. Doctor, I have a problem, that I suffer...

What is it then?

Well, every once in a while, my legs get red and itchy...

Maybe some food causes it...

Maybe somebody else, I don't know.

It must be from stress.

Oh, and I also have this on my hand.

You didn't have this last night?

It happened while pouring tea today in the morning.

That's why I came to you.

But you can get an appointment no later than two weeks ahead of time...

I'm with a patient!

Doctor...

Come come...

I examined you months ago!

Why didn't you do the test straight away?

Doctor...

Our free social security card just got issued.

I got better with the ointment that you gave...

So I thought I could manage.

But then I got also sores in my mouth...

Let me see...

Nurse...

Please...

Mazhar...

Wake up...

Come on!

The gulls have nested in the chimney.

Come on! Let's have a look.

My dear, there's no nest here.

You checked with a torch also?

Come and see yourself darling!

It has probably left now...

Listen! There are noises again.

It probably fell down the chimney.

Oh my...

Give us this mezze and bean salad.

Stuffed grape leaves and mackerel.

Some octopus too, so we can get a good hard-on.

Don't give me such food for erection!

Hey calm down, people are listening.

My bed's been like the Gobi Desert for three months!

- You should download 'Bang my Friend'. - What the hell is that?

You jerk-off looking at duck face selfies of your Facebook friends, right?

Yes indeed bro.

As if you don't do so.

- Never... - Absolutely not.

So you download the app and mark all the women in your friends list

that you'd like to ficky-fick with...

Or men if you prefer.

Stop for a sec.

- He's marked indeed! - I welcome everybody bro!

If one of your friends has downloaded this filthy app and marked your ugly mug,

the app sends both of you a message saying, 'Go forth and bang!'.

Ulaş, you're really into immorality of the West.

Babes... The top one percent holds 82% of the entire wealth.

Just if the new Chinese middle class starts to eat seafood as much as the Japanese...

Professor Ulaş, Chinese middle class fucks you, don't spoil the chat.

OK we got it, there will be war soon; Trump is already there...

Just tell us if your dear wife knows about this Bang Bang app.

Of course!

Whatever I say is just pure theory.

This ties the bird somehow and doesn't let him fly.

Who told you to go and marry your first student that you lay with...

and then have a bloody kid as well?

Look at me...

I've closed that chapter forever and give my shirts to dry cleaning.

We all know that this chapter never ends...

You'll find yourself again looking at those disgusting curtains.

And everything goes even shittier...

Where is the asshole called Erman?

Where the hell is he?

I called him so much, he does not reply.

Mazhar?

I thought your precious was also coming?

Yeah, we're curious!

He finally found a girl after all.

Of course he's not going to show her to scum like us.

You saw her before.

Where?

She came here once when I wasn't around...

With Erman.

You could not find someone else to betray?

Poor boy... Plus he's an Armenian!

OK guys, you exaggerated already.

No more fucking around!

- What do you mean Ulaş? - Come on boy, we know it already.

You know what?

- My dear doc, you still did not get it, huh? - What?

Erman called us months ago! Relax...

Why did you invite me instead of him then?

Because...

We...

Love you more, you motherfucker!

We desire you more...

Emokid...

Who is he? Your lover?

Why don't you talk?

Ah, you're on antibiotics?

My place is close but unavailable.

Well... I'm not a chatty guy.

You neither...

But we'll try to figure out somehow...

I am really sorry.

Şahika?

I just slept with a guy that I don't know.

I cheated on Mazhar.

Just wanted you to know...

You're so beautiful.

Don't go...

...AND WRAPT THE SPIRIT IN WILD CONSTERNATION

Why didn't you tell us, you tightlipped bastard?

Don't know... I fucked it up...

To be honest bro, you fucked it up

and you've been fucked at the same time.

My mum said there was a girl she wanted me to meet.

I was pissing about.

My mum went on and on.

“Her parents are from our town, she's a great cook, really good-looking“.

She even did an intelligence operation:

learned the internet and Facebook so she could find pictures of her...

What an effort from Auntie Şükran!

I gave in just to show willing.

When I saw her...

Just like you melt the butter in a copper pan before breaking an egg into it.

You?! An arranged date?

Did she like you then?

She did! I wish she hadn't...

Anyway, we went out and in three months we got engaged.

You got engaged?

Just between me and her, I swear...

I am not mad enough to tell this to my mum!

I was ready for the whole package: military service+wedding+baby...

Together, we were great. I was dying of happiness.

When was this? How come I didn't know Ali?

You'd just gone to Canada.

Straight afterwards, during an ID check I got caught

and called up to the military in a week.

Anyway we've earned our stripes after one month.

But she started playing games on the phone.

I didn't know what was going on.

Then she said...

“Ali, I can't do this anymore...“

“I want to break up.“

I tried to escape, they caught me.

They "welcomed" me at the military prison.

Anyway, I kept calling her over again.

In the end, she said...

“Don't keep bothering me...“

“I am with somebody else.“

She saw my sister and got scared.

Our parents are cousins, you know.

That's why she chickened out and left me...

We would have been waiting for a baby now...

It would have been our love child...

I still love her and it hurts!

I am burning!

Burning!

What are you doing Ali?

Don't look at me like that bro!

Haven't you ever seen any lover man in your life?

- Hold this. - What are you doing?

I am burning!

- Ali! - Burning!

I am burning!

I love youuuu!

Oh the water is lovely bro...

I am going!

When did you make it?

While you were boring me...

Spermman, you gonna cook us with this quilt in this season.

I got cold at nights, what can I do?

Simply hug me my dear.

Come on find the edge down there.

Stop grinning and help me, you toothy!

I'll show you the tooth!

What's up?

When the voices stopped, I thought it had finally escaped and flown off.

We can't do anything.

Even the fire-brigade couldn't get it out.

Let's smash the wall.

What if we kill the bird smashing the wall?

And you know the landlord...

It must be stuck between two levels.

Come down! What are you doing there?

Cleaning...

Oh Istanbul almighty...

Against your evil, we again find refuge in you…

Even if we are left with no air to breathe,

even those fault lines below sooner or later shake us like a cradle,

even if the loveless pack of the city blast bombs,

is there a Bosphorus in those peaceful-looking lands,

in whose waters we can let ourselves go?

Even if we were able to go,

those cities, where we couldn't readily mingle with the flow of life;

don't they also have their past and present loveless lots?

And, our unrest, which will find us there for sure;

let's put ourselves aside - won't ruin those lands as well?

Fear won't save us from fate, my dear.

Come and nestle on my chest.

Let us cling and unloose ourselves.

Maybe the endless joy is at the bottom of Bosphorus?

I'll whisper into your ears while we sink into the depths:

All these endless cloisters are ours ever after.

Forever we shall live here.

Together we shall die.

Wasn't this construction supposed to be finished? One year already...

Yes.

Erman emigrates to US to join his relatives.

Who told you?

Ece.

Did you ever see Erman?

Şahika!

Didn't I tell you to put aside the ripe ones to distill raki? (anise drink)

- Dad, they are not that ripe yet. - Give it to me.

He doesn't even look at me?

He must be upset because you came alone.

Well... He's on full alert for a grandchild.

The other day...

He opened mum's dowry chest, took out some wonderful fabrics.

He told me to pick one, go to the tailor and have a dress made for your engagement.

Mom even bought French guipure lace for me and her future daughter-in-law.

You must see them...

She talked me about them before the operation... As if she felt what would happen.

Did you see my distillation adapter?

Nope...

Look, if you hide it, just tell me the place.

Daddy, you'd cut down on drinking?

I have just cheap pleasure in life...

And everybody admires my raki.

I'll find it! You care the dog first, she has a problem on her feet.

When he holds his grandchild, he'll stop drinking. He may even become vegan!

I guess Ece hasn't told you.

She is on heavy medication.

You were also using after the funeral?

Not the same...

I used it for shingles. They were different.

If she gets pregnant while she's taking it, the child might have birth defects.

It could even die. Something could even happen to Ece.

She needs to stop at least two years beforehand.

So she can stop taking it then.

Don't you love this girl?

You do.

But, Ece is out of this world...

That's what you love in her. Don't you get it yet?

Is Şahika coming alone?

Can't you make it even if it's just for the second half, Spermman?

I can speak to Doctor İsmail if you want?

I understand...

OK. It's just that...

We've been rehearsing for months.

Yes, TJ is also coming.

Can't you at least come to the end of the concert?

OK.

I'm fine...

I love you too...

It would have been good if you'd come...

The money goes for an orphanage...

We've been rehearsing for months...

Once upon a time a kid came home

to find out she's all alone.

Then she found some pills

that tasted like candies...

Look at you!

Wasn't that you who crushed all the pills at home into your break time milk...

when you were just at primary school?

I suppose it seemed like a good idea to knock back all the happy-pills in one go...

and die in front of your best friends...

Anyway it wasn't like when you tried it again-

Are you OK?

Why did you do that?

Is it also wrong to vomit?

Of course not... Sorry, I misunderstood...

I just thought that...

Sorry, I misunderstood... I was upset...

Why were you upset?

No way!

Something that I ate made me sick I guess...

Don't worry I wouldn't kill myself because of your sorrow.

No cure for what is gone my dear Knight with Innocent Face...

Mazhar.

Can we talk a bit?

I'm really tired. I need to sleep.

A man must hide his face, if he wants to be loved.

Why couldn't you hide yours, Mazhar?

Let yourself know me first...

Give me flowers... Show some compassion.

At the end of the night that I just let you know, my dear Sahika,

I got free of all your burdens.

Without words, without speech, I belong to a total stranger.

And also that stupid arrogance of yours...

which you try to avoid by humiliating yourself...

Me seeing how utterly desperate you are and going to others;

doesn't that show you that I still pity you?

Why are you reading all of these?

Get angry!

I don't want your love.

Because I don't love you.

Is there a fire?!

Don't believe it!

You know me...

Don't believe it!

Don't believe it!

It's not true...

No-one has ever humiliated me as you.

I've never loved anyone as much as I love you...

MEMORY IS A FESTERING WOUND

Hagia Sophia's famous Perspiring Column, also known as the Wishing Column...

Legend says that the column is humid by Virgin Mary's tears.

For centuries, people believed that putting their thumb inside this hole...

And turning it round will make the wishes come true.

My dear teacher, my mum sent this for you.

We made it together with the quinces from our garden.

Thank you so much.

She shouldn't have.

It's all natural. I hope you'll enjoy it with your fiancé.

How dare you?!

He can't resist quince jam.

He won't leave me a drop.

So will you come to our wedding?

Yes but first I have to buy proper shoes.

Why not now? Let's go and buy some now.

Excuse me.

- Welcome! - Hello.

What did happen to your lip?

Nothing special. Some patient punched me...

They're crazy! How can anybody raise a hand on a doctor?!

This is the 2nd time already, I got used to it.

I have brought you some of my tahini cookies...

- Thanks a lot. - You're welcome.

How have you been since we last saw each other?

Fine...

I mean I've been really busy at work.

Work is fine, but you shouldn't get too hung up too much on work anyway.

Work was invented to prevent people making love from dawn until dusk.

Look dear Mazhar...

I know that you are a good person.

Because you are not good at hiding your judgements about people.

But understand what you think about me, I'm not a fool you know...

Don't worry. I don't think that you dislike me.

No... I... I really like you.

I like you too, dear Mazhar.

I did not grow up like you.

I mean...

I always had to claw my way up in order to achieve something.

Maybe that's why I have this sneaky kind of jealousy, this fury...

Of course it is nonsense... I mean-

Have you spoken to each other?

No, not for 3 months...

How is Ece?

96 days...

She's counting every day.

I hope you haven't hurt each other too much...

I think we have.

I've never seen her as bad as this.

Her mum even came from Izmir.

Her asshole father visits her maybe once in a year...

But he just sends money.

Is she taking her medication?

Well...

Ece was always different.

It's hard to comprehend her vivid imagination.

If she keeps those diaries... again it's all for you.

Since she learned how to write,

she was writing in her locked diaries and leaving them at open.

So that her father could read and show her some affection...

Once he sent her a postcard while he was in India for a concert.

My poor love...

For months, she wrote her imaginary souvenirs of India in her diaries.

Love has never been a problem between us.

If I'd had my own child, I couldn't have loved her any more than I love Ece.

She means the world to me...

To me too...

But...

It's so difficult to love somebody...

that you can't change...

neither help nor leave.

Maybe the dosage has to be increased...

So you can't handle her emotions, right?

Too much passion, huh?!

She doesn't take medicine any longer. I told her to stop many months ago.

How you told her to stop?

Of course I did!

You want the girl's liver to get destroyed?!

How can you let yourself to make such a decision?!

Actually, based on what right can you decide on

matters that fall outside your field of specialization?

- Do you have training in Psychiatry? - I didn't decide, the specialist did.

Come on, you sent her to your friend.

And he wrote the prescription like you wanted. Simple as that!

You didn't really think about Ece, not at all, sorry.

Stop stop!

15 Liras.

It's not even half an hour yet... I park here often.

Then they say, rapists are everywhere...

5 liras more.

They increased the price recently.

Come on we're in the end hollabacks here.

Pervert... Pervert...

You think you can rip me off with your legal mafia tone?

You don't know the difference between flirting and harassment or rape and sex!

You come months late to the doctor

and when you can't find a cure, you beat him. What is my fault, you vermin!?

Very soon we all die!

Cut me up... Come on, cut me up more!

What "an honest believer" who rips off tourists!

What should I do, ha, should I meet my pisser friends?

You know you completely missed your lives...

But you pretend not to notice, sitting there just talking about shit.

Where are your great dreams?

But you are different, aren't you?

You don't say a word when this prick talks positively about rape.

But you get angry just for money. You're the coward...

Do you have the guts to jump into Bosphorus like Ali?

The thing you most feared was mediocrity.

See, you just became an average dermatologist!

Now let's watch you bow in front of those boneheads...

The poor boy's face was burnt by the bomb explosion.

When I let his suffering mum sleep a bit in my room,

She becomes a whore and I a womanizer!

Didn't you take the Hippocratic oath, what is the difference with the parking mafia?

You gossip and go to mosque to pray every Friday!

Weren't you telling me, the world is mortal, faith is secret?

Your only concern was also that you fill your pockets!

Enough is enough!

Your father beat you, then forced you to kiss his feet.

And now you take revenge from us. Very well done!

Do you even realize that you messed up my youth?!

If you have never fallen in love, how is that my fault?

Even Mehmet The Conqueror let his soldiers pillage Constantinople only for three days.

You've constantly destroyed this beautiful city for 600 years!

How dare you change the original door designed by Architect Sinan with a new PVC one?

You shouldn't turn back to this hell...

You shouldn't...

You were hurrying to let your mum be operated on, thinking you would 'save' her!

You are the one who sent her to heaven!

As if I don't think of Ece! Do I think of anything else than Ece?

You are the only one who loves Ece, huh?

And I made my specialist friend prescribe whatever I want!

Shame on you!

Ece...

I thought that my love yorou could save me as well as our compassion.

But I can't hold on anymore...

Leave Ece.

Leave your father.

Leave Şahika...

Leave your friends.

Leave here...

Just go away.

Just go...

Şahika...

I'm hungry like a wolf.

Let's fry some eggplants!

We'll put yogurt with garlic on it!

At 3 am?

Do you crave as if you're pregnant or something?

Besides, weren't you saying that you're in deep sorrow?

I don't know about the sorrow, but I won't starve to death.

I wish I'd been happy-go-lucky like you...

Me and my family, we are all addicted to grief.

I'm my still father's daughter on that score...

We are good all together, aren't we Ece?

You'd fight, then you'd make up.

When I was with you both, I felt so happy I could have stayed there forever.

You know, you're my only friend left.

After Erman all of my high school friends walked out on me.

I'm so angry with you.

It's eating me alive.

How people cheat themselves so much with “You're the only one“...

“I couldn't be with anyone else...“

As you look at me with compassion,

I feel myself loved when I'm with you two.

And I can't help but weep thinking of you.

Why you are still separate?

Why you don't get back together and make love?

How can two lover who licks passionately each other's asses become strangers?

All of a sudden, he said what if we all become like Ece...

How many times did you wake me up in the night when I was staying with you?

You didn't even care...

I'm not unattractive myself...

My body's alright and with a bit of make-up I look OK...

One day I'm sure someone will come along and love me too.

But you two... Why are you still apart, Ece?

Because Mazhar forced me to take pills.

How can I help you?

Sorry doctor.

I came here to present my gratitudes...

Excuse me?

If it wasn't for you, my husband might have been dead now.

If we'd waited longer, he wouldn't have survived.

Don't mention it... It's our duty.

- May God make it easy for you. - Well, it is not that easy...

Dear Mazhar...

Professor...

Sorry to hear what happened.

Well, that's a part of the job as well…

Thanks professor but I already signed the contract.

What can I say?

By the way congratulations on becoming head of department.

Thanks thanks...

Still, we can discuss, maybe I can change your mind.

How about talking now, over lunch?

I'm going to the mosque for Friday prayers.

May God accept...

Amen... Amen...

Sorry for that...

My husband doesn't even have the strength to lift his arm.

He just sleeps all the time.

I have to feed him.

I've been praying to God for years:

“Please, take this bastard away so I can see daylight with the kids.“

He beats me...

And if the children run, he beats them too.

I get some pin money from house cleaning;

he takes it and disappears for two days.

I don't know whose bed he's been in, and then he comes back drunk...

I understand but...

Why are you thanking me?

If he'd died he would have been saved from his misery,

but you made sure he survived.

Now he lays crying in agony, wondering how he is to be in that state.

Even now, I can't wait to go back and see him like that.

I never leave his side. I give him his medicine.

The neighbours say, “Ayşe is such a loyal woman.“

But now my husband has a lot of years ahead of him.

I'll look after him until death...

May God bless you, Doctor.

Come my son.

I've really started to forget things.

Sometimes I don't even remember Mücella's face.

I'm so afraid...

You'll be fine, just fine...

There's nothing worse in life than forgetting.

If I can, I would go to the place where I saw Mücella for the first time.

You will go, together we go!

Sarcophagus of the Mourning Women.

I'd lived with you because of you.

I thought, I almost died because of you

it was long time, long time before I rose up from where I'd crumpled

and believed you were no longer living.

I'll bring my hands together on the tomb

my face a curtain, my breast a plumb line in stone.

Burn those diaries all the way to the end...

I will still keep writing...

You'll be infatuated with me!

I'm sorry, dad...

Honestly, I can't stay, live here.

- I like to take your permission to lea- - As if I would, my boy!

If you two have made your mind up, then go of course.

I'm going alone.

A wise decision.

I'll be able to help you out more from over there.

I mean it will be also good for Şahika.

It's your life.

- You will know what's always best for you. - We don't know what is best always.

Sending mum off for a preventive operation and I screwed all our lives up.

I certainly don't know what is best daddy.

You can't help blaming yourself for everything since you were a child.

What more can I say to you?

Shall I go? Shall I stay? Say that much...

Did your mum tell you?

Tell what?

When we ran away from Bulgaria in '89 your brother was just one year old.

They placed us temporarily in a refugee tent.

I know, she suffered a lot.

A year later they transferred us to a public housing building.

It was a tiny apartment but we were very happy.

Except him...

As he took the tent for a normal house,

he cried his eyes out, nonstop.

When you were born

he held you in his arms and you finally stopped crying.

Your mother and I worked ourselves to the bone

so you could study and be somebody.

But the harder you work for a child,

the more likely they are to go away.

When you first went, I thought you'd find your way in Canada

and never come back.

I learned that they beat you at the hospital...

I was devastated when she told me...

I think you should go where people will value you more,

But I don't know if such a place exists...

- What are you up to, Ece? - I don't know!

Is this what you meant by "let's go clothes shopping"?

Are there any better clothes than this?

I can't get my head round these dresses dripping in lace! Is that guipure?

Neither can I to be honest.

That one is also beautiful!

That might suit you well.

- That? - Yes.

I never think anything suits me...

What do you think Şahika?

To be honest...

No, it's too plain! I deserve to be a bit more glamorous.

You're right. You only get married once...

No, it's my third already.

This?

Let's make a selfie for Ilhan...

Come.

I think we should get this now, give Mazhar a surprise.

- What kind of surprise? - I'll propose.

We're going to be really happy Şahika!

You were always saying you'd never leave Istanbul? I don't get it.

Yes.

You're talking about marriage?

I haven't thought about the honeymoon...

Maybe we could go to India... But no clue yet...

İlhan... It worked! He's calling!

- Dad... - You know my brother's going to Canada?

Is he going to a conference?

We can wait.

We haven't even settled a date with the registry office yet.

And we're going to get PVC windows fitted in the house.

We've already decided...

I have no idea about it...

Otherwise I'd have known, wouldn't I?

Is there such a thing as absolute happiness?

If you need to get your revenge in order to find this, I accept that.

We've already suffered unbearable pain.

Don't you see...

I love you.

And it's none of your business.

I just want to forgive and be forgiven.

I don't want anyone to suffer any more...

If the pain we've suffered up until now was essential for knowing the truth;

The truth is not worth it.

Is New Year on a Wednesday?

Great! You can get leave on Thursday and Friday and we can go to İzmir.

We'll be stranded in snow.

Aren't you my Superman? Fly me there if you want.

And İlhan's also nearby occasionally.

I haven't seen him for 22 months.

- You can meet my dad. - Ece, would you sit?

Just before we got back together, I went to Rome for a conference, you remember?

There, I met up with the doctor that I'd worked for as her assistant in Canada.

I explained her that I got beat up two times at the hospital...

I was walking on the thin ice...

They can even take me to the prison whenever they want...

She said “I heard about what's happening but did not know that it's that bad.“

Of course she has no idea.

She had pity on me...

In fact I deliberately played the victim.

I know that she had a crush on me back then.

She said there might be a position for me there.

I sent my CV and they got in touch with me...

They invited me to Vancouver.

How long are you going to stay?

I'm not sure, but at least one year.

But if things go well, I could become a citizen in five years.

Honestly, everything happened at once.

Why aren't you saying anything?

I don't know what to say.

You're probably annoyed that I didn't tell you about it before.

I've been thinking about whether or not to go for a while...

But I didn't want to upset you unnecessarily then decide to stay.

I didn't notice anything...

didn't suspect.

Even when Şahika told me you were going to Canada, I didn't believe.

Why tell me now?

Why not last week? Or next month?

I'm flying tomorrow evening.

They want me to start straight after New Year.

I need to get up early and pack my case.

I will help you.

Thanks, but you don't need to. It would be a bit weird.

Anyway, I've decided what to take.

There's just a navy-blue jacket that I couldn't find.

What do you need a summer jacket for in Canada?

- It's still at the dry cleaners. - True.

I'll run and pick it up in the morning.

I've got the receipt.

No need... Şahika can get it afterwards.

She'll come and get the other things I'm leaving here as well...

You can stay here if you want. I'll handle the rent.

If you wish you can live together with Şahika until she's graduated.

Do you think when you come back, you'll find me as when you left me?

I don't really care.

Canada is just an excuse.

I want to evaporate, I want to go...

I want to breath.

I don't have the guts to look into the eyes of my dad and Şahika.

I can't bear any more of your aunt's forced bohemianism.

You lost your mum. My father is alive but non-existent.

I don't want to struggle with your ups-and-downs anymore.

I know you don't deserve this.

And that I still love you.

Maybe I even love you more since I made up my mind to go.

I was so unjust to you.

Leave it, for god's sake...

Neither of us is good or bad...

Neither of us is guilty or not guilty.

Look around...

No-one is happy.

How can we stay happy

in the middle of all this disgrace?

My poor love...

Poor me who has done his first and only conscious evil

to the person that he loves the most.

Anyway. I don't want you to have pity on me.

It eats away my soul.

What are you going to do there alone, you will eat your heart out...

I need to stay alone with my biggest enemy...

Let's battle together with that enemy?

What time are you setting the alarm for?

Five...

That early?

I can wake you up later if you want?

Have you been to Vancouver before?

Once.

Can you tell me what is like?

Ece please...

Don't disappoint your knight with innocent face.

A bit like Istanbul.

There's one part that looks like the Bosphorus.

But much cleaner of course.

There are some huge parks.

You often see foxes, squirrels and raccoons in the middle of the city.

So beautiful...

Come on, sleep in my arms.

Maybe it's better if I pack now and get going.

Mazhar...

We're both tired.

Come on...

Sleep in my arms...

You shouldn't have.

I brewed it just how you like it.

Thanks.

As it's our last breakfast, it should be beautiful.

Ece! Give me your hand.

Are you OK?

In the next month you can take two Siralex per day.

You are afraid that I would disturb you there with calls and letters?

You know I don't mean that.

Ece don't forget your medication.

Every morning, every evening...

If only your Ece goes well.

Have you ever known me without this Mazhar?

You just want to see yourself in my eyes.

Did you ever dare to see the world through my eyes?

You decided to take them.

I thought that my love could save us as well as our compassion.

Poor TJ was exhausted to cook me artichokes believing that it's good for the liver..

But... How dare you?

Anyway forget it...

Don't be late...

It might not work out there...

and I'll come pattering back in a few months...

What would change even if you come back?

You did not believe me so many years, will you if you come back?

I did not believe what?

- Come on... Ask me and relax... - Ask you what?

It's been constantly aching in your head since years.

- What should I ask Ece? - Ask it and relax.

Come on...

While we were together...

Have you ever slep-

But even if I did...

Is it that important?

Mazhar...

If only we could be powerful enough to live just for each other.

If only you never go.

We could try to work out where we went wrong.

We might even have a baby.

Can't you promise me you'll come back?

You're being unfair.

You could at least console me with a lie.

Come on, hug me...

Hug me...

Mazhar...

Hug me...

I don't want you to go.

You're not going.

- Don't go... - Please...

another year has passed

Judas trees blossomed late

cherry blossoms, tulips shed

no-one picked up a fig from a tree and ate it

and no-one turned a head towards Bosphorus

no-one could take refuge in Istanbul against the evil of Istanbul.

FOR SALE

I'm sorry.

Forgive me.

TOGETHER, WE SHALL DIE