Original subtitles

I shouldn't really be here. I already have 11 bikes.

But I have a thing for bikes.

It's a little weird. Where did that come from?

Probably a mix of nature and nurture.

Here it is.

-I'll take it for a spin. -Yeah, go ahead.

Why are you so apathetic around men?

-What do you mean? -He wasn't all that handsome,

-but he was handsome enough. -Handsome enough for what?

-You should play the field. -I don't want to play the field.

-Good gears. -Why not?

-My body is broken. -But it's still attractive.

Our sexuality is the most exciting thing we have.

-It's the very drama of life. -Yeah.

I might need to start taking some hormonal drugs.

Radin is an...

unusually complex lover.

He has taken lives, you know.

That's hot.

I have a vibrator I can give you.

There are some things I'm not too keen on inheriting.

It's unopened.

I got it in the mail from a client who was harassing me.

I didn't want to clear him.

He got really, really mad and really, really turned-on.

Maybe you can send dildos online?

It's not a dildo. It's a vibrator. But I think I have a dildo, too.

I'm a psychologist, you see.

I approve participants for reality TV.

I find the ones who are strong enough to be on TV.

-Do you follow them up after, too? -How so?

Reality stars aren't treated like people.

A good friend of mine was in a reality show,

and once the attention had faded,

he wondered what he was left with after exposing himself on TV.

And he was left with nothing, so...

-But hey, this bike is really nice. -It's yours, if you have the money.

You know it's worth more than 1000 kroner?

I do.

Yes? Okay?

-It's a great bike. -It's an Eddy Merckx from 1988.

-How much do you want? -How much are you offering?

10,000?

Sure.

That's great. I won't have to carry it back up.

-Right. Do you have Vipps? -Do you have a phone number?

Yeah, I do.

BELOW

Fuck.

What the fuck!

It looks like fecalith. It's hardened fecal matter.

Yes.

When you got an ileostomy six months ago,

it looks like all the fecal matter wasn't emptied.

Did you find it in the toilet?

No, I didn't find it in the toilet. I found it in...

I was just checking if there was still any zest in...

In Janiqua.

So I put a finger up there, and there it was.

So fuck that. There's no zest in it.

I found a shit. All good. Sorry.

-Fanny, when you were at Sunnaas... -Yes?

Did you talk to a sexologist there?

Yeah, but we weren't a great match, because she...

We had different senses of humor, and she thought I was very dry.

When you tried to masturbate, did you feel anything?

No. Nothing.

Desire is in the head, not the body.

-No, I don't think so. -Sexuality can be complicated,

-but it's possible. -No, I'm not complicated.

Everything makes me horny. I could get turned on by a vase.

-A vase? -Yeah. Before, at least.

Fuck that.

-Good luck today. -Thanks. Kudos to you for going.

I'm only doing it so Jill can move on and I can get some peace.

-Is this Jill a little intense? -Very.

Okay. Good luck. Have a nice trip.

Hey! Hello?

Did you know you can see your neighbor from Pål's room?

He was naked by the window, with his dick and balls hanging out.

In the house across from here?

-Buck naked. -And you watched him?

-Oh yes. -You can't spy on the neighbor.

-Why not? -Because!

It's common courtesy not to spy on your neighbors.

That's so boring! First of all, he's not my neighbor.

Second, I didn't see his face. I saw his penis and balls.

-Right in my eyeline. -Okay. He's retarded.

-Retarded? -Yes. He's sick.

I don't know what it is, but he's not right in the head.

-I didn't know that. -No, but I'm telling you now.

You can watch people even if they're retarded.

-Can't you? -Is that...

-No... -No, maybe not?

-For all means, but... -What a creepy neighbor.

-Talk to you later. -Fam!

-I need to borrow something yellow. -But...

-A T-shirt or a top. Jill promised. -This is really bad timing.

She promised that we'd wear yellow, so they'll recognize us.

There. Take this.

-Don't you have anything else? -No.

Hi.

So this is "grief yoga for the bereaved"?

There are 32 people on the waiting list.

-I can get you in. -I don't believe in yoga.

Hi!

I just have to say hi to you. I've heard so much from Jill.

Heidi.

I'm rooting for you.

I get that you think it's dumb,

but without yoga, I would have been self-pitying and bitter.

Or I'd have a miscarriage.

It's not normal for a fetus to lose its dad in week four.

What kind of bereaved is she?

She lost her cousin in an accident.

Isn't that stretching the idea of bereavement?

I agree. There are people who lost their child

to cot death on the waiting list.

The partner is coming too. She's the one who reached out.

Just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it.

We should just let her vent and cry

and say how sorry she is, and we'll say it's nobody's fault.

Is there no part of your body that doesn't want to forgive?

They just had bad luck. It was nobody's fault.

She was acquitted, but she's trapped by her own conscience.

When you free others, you're also freeing yourself.

It's cool that we were run over by a female truck driver.

You know it was a food truck?

It was called Tut Beirut. It's Lebanese.

I love meze.

Is it all right if you sit in this one?

Okay. Sure, but why?

I haven't actually told her

that you were injured this badly.

I just told her that you broke your arm.

Okay.

Sorry, but she felt bad enough about killing Kurt,

so I couldn't bring myself to saying any more.

I'm impressed.

It felt like rubbing salt into the wound.

-That's... -Do you want me to...?

-We'll do it like this. -Yeah.

-Are you holding it? -I'm holding it steady.

There. That's good. Okay! Yes!

-I'll just set this over there. -Yeah.

Anything else you want me to lie about?

Yeah, we don't have to say anything about my pregnancy either.

I thought it would be a bit much on top of the widowhood.

-Right. -Okay. All right.

I was in the ER last night. I couldn't feel any signs of life.

Are you kidding?

It's fine. I was just so convinced he was dead.

I must have really poor maternal instincts.

-It's a he? -Yeah.

I want to name him after Kurt. A double name or something.

Yeah. I look forward to hearing what you decide on.

-Yup. -Yeah. There they are.

The silence that followed...

When I sat there, knowing I had run you over...

It was completely quiet.

And the worst thing was that I thought...

"Should I just drive?"

-It's normal to think that. -I would have done it.

I shouldn't have been driving.

I was catering at the Red Bull summer party.

I was tired, and they offered me a Red Bull before I left.

But I don't like Red Bull!

I mean, Red Bull tastes awful.

How do you deal with it?

-We're in a really good process. -Yeah.

I make use of several municipal services.

And I've called the mental health helpline.

-Maram has called them too. -I can speak for myself.

I know that. Sorry.

Have you tried it?

Yes, I've used it a lot. It's so great.

They said I should call you and ask if you wanted to meet.

-That was great. -Right.

-And Hilde pushed me. -Yes.

Let's drink to that.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

It's a miracle that it didn't go worse for you.

-That means everything. -Yes.

-How's your arm? -It's completely healed.

-What about Tut Beirut? -I'm going to sell it.

Some high school seniors are interested, so that's positive.

I'll do it.

Thank you so much for coming.

It's really great.

We haven't been doing well after everything, and she's been...

Baby Beirut!

Four months.

-Can I touch it? I'm a little dirty. -Yes, of course.

-A little bacteria won't hurt him. -Right.

-No, don't cry. -I'm just so relieved.

I threw up on the way here.

That means some dog won't go hungry, so that's good.

This was really nice.

And you're officially pardoned and free,

so you can put all of this behind you

and never think about us again.

Yes. I guess we're all good.

I'm pregnant too.

-And she was paralyzed. -Damn it, Jill.

-What? -It's really fucking nice

that your kid will have two parents. I hope you'll enjoy it!

Because of you, my kid will only have one.

Should we sit here and scrub your conscience clean

-so you can keep selling kebabs? -Take him.

I fucking hate you!

-Get a grip. -I hate you too!

You're insane for letting a pregnant woman drive a food truck!

Everyone knows that being pregnant makes you really fucking tired!

-I'm sorry. -No!

I'm also surprised that it went like this, but here we are.

-I totally understand you. -Jill, can I...

I'm sorry.

No.

Don't!

I should never have listened to you!

-Jill? -Shit, it feels so great!

It hadn't crossed my mind that's it all right to not forgive.

Are there more people I can say I hate?

You invited a widow to dinner?

I thought you wanted to be left alone.

-Hello. -We need wine.

I panicked. She was psychotic or something.

-So you invited her home? -Yes.

-This is really stressing me out. -You have to calm down.

-Okay. -She's pregnant. A pregnant widow.

If you'd warned me, I could've killed myself on the way... Hi!

Asparagus au gratin?

I have an insane recipe.

-Yum! -Yes.

It's good that we left them with the bill. I hope it was expensive.

Wow!

You actually have underfloor heating here too?

I never wear slippers, so I just went with that.

-Don't leave me now. -I'm just changing my sweater.

-I smell bad. -No, you smell great. Come on.

-What fish did you decide on? -I went with swordfish.

-Swordfish! -Isn't that fun?

-I can't eat that. -Why not? Are they endangered?

It can contain methylmercury, which can harm the baby's kidneys.

But I can just eat some sides. That's fine.

Pregnant women are allergic to everything in the world.

That was stupid of me. I wasn't aware of that. Sorry.

We have some asparagus and some other stuff, but...

-Can you Kurt... -What?

-No... -Did you say "Kurt"?

No, stop it. I just...

-Can you pass me the pot? -That's all right.

Thank you.

I've heard so many nice things about you from Fanny.

-Really? -Yes.

What?

I've never said "I hate you" to anyone before. Never.

That's really weird. I hate lots of people. Everyone does.

It's so "in" to forgive.

You only hear about people becoming best friends

with their dad's killer.

While the rest of us normal bereaved people

are unable to forgive and should feel ashamed about that.

-That's a great point. -Yes!

It's actually not my point, but Even's.

-Even? -A guy I slept with yesterday.

-I see. -Okay.

This pregnancy has given me a huge sex drive.

Didn't you get that?

Did I? No, I guess I didn't.

I remember I got a craving for raw onions.

Maybe not as fun as sex, but...

This thing makes it so easy to pull guys.

Yeah. I've slept with 13 guys since Kurt died.

-Three guys? Wow. But it's been... -Thirteen.

-Thirteen? -Everyone's so careful around me.

Probably because I'm a widow and pregnant.

That's too much for people.

So it feels great to just get railed really hard.

Now you're looking at me like I'm a total freak.

-No. -No, not at all.

And I can relate to that.

With Marius, I remember feeling the need for...

-Getting railed hard? -What?

By Marius? Ew!

Marius is her ex. The world's dullest person!

-He cheated on her too. -No, I'm the one who cheated.

Can you not look at me?

Have you cheated?

I have. Or I guess that depends on how you define it.

I haven't cheated, but I've semi-cheated.

-Semi-cheated? -Why are you talking so much?

I'm wondering what "semi-cheated" means.

Oh my God! I'm so sorry! We're talking so much about sex.

Why are you telling me that?

You were almost raped.

This could trigger traumas and reactions in you.

-Yes... -Yes.

You know what? Let's talk about something else.

-Yes. -Yes.

-How was it? -Really good.

Especially when you dip it in the sauce.

-Yes. -A little thicker than normal.

Do you miss Pål now that he's not here?

Yes, of course.

But I'm the one who ruined this, so I'll just have to deal with it.

But I'm not really an unfaithful person.

Do you think you can get back together?

I hope so, but Marius belongs to your club, so to speak.

He holds a grudge, I mean.

He has to forgive you. He's ruining an entire family.

-So are you. -What?

The Beirut Baby, for instance.

-I don't hate him. -No, but...

They obviously hate themselves.

So I think that makes it hard to love a baby.

That kid will end up as a school shooter.

-Should I feel bad about that? -No.

But it would be good if no more lives are ruined by that accident.

I...

I didn't think about the fact that there's a baby involved.

I've actually ruined an entire family.

It's not too late. They're here till tomorrow.

Okay. How can I get there now?

-You said your car was broken. -Yes, I know what I said.

But that's because I'm scared of driving.

But I've had some wine, so I'll try.

Hello! We're survivors and widows of a car accident.

Can't I drive, please? I miss driving.

-Country girl, you know. -Yes.

That's a relief.

I'm sorry.

I don't think I've allowed myself to feel

the darkest feelings.

I haven't allowed myself to be angry before now.

I'm just so happy you came.

-Heavy stuff. -And I guess we should talk

about the other girl on the bike who became a vegetable.

-Oh my God! -You're so bad.

Yup.

Hey...

Thank you so much for pushing me.

You're welcome. I guess we're done with this, then.

I love you.

-I'll just take the subway, then. -Yes.

You're not driving us home, of course. I'll do that.

Okay. Goodbye!

-Oh my God. -A swim would feel great.

Look at that water. It's so blue that you could cry.

I'm really keen on a swim.

Look at that sand!

It's the best thing in the world!

Hello! We need a mattress!

We want a mattress! Everyone!

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Subtitles: Aleksander Kerr plint.com