Original subtitles

We want to go to the pool!

We're dying here.

How many more kilometers?

This car hasn't even got air-conditioning!

We're hot!

I have to go pee!

Mom, stop, I gotta vomit!

Alright, I'm fed up, that's enough!

If I stop, I'll leave you on the roadside!

How much further? And I'm hungry,

and I wanna pee and I wanna vomit!

Enough!

Mom, I forgot Rosine!

You expect us to drive back 250 km for your doll?

Sure.

Hey Mom,

I hope the drive isn't as boring as the train.

You little city-dweller!

OK, I love you and miss you.

Hey, since when do you smoke?

Alright, chill out.

- You like repeating me? - Gimme one.

No smoking in the station, Mom!

But dressing like that's OK?

Sure, I'm Madonna.

She's got real ugly.

C'mon, Yanis.

- OK. - C'mon, hurry!

C'mon!

C'mon, Yanis.

C'mon, Yanis, shake a leg!

How can a snail like you be so fast at sports?

How can Miss Palsy-Walsy be such a pain with us?

Hurry up and finish and clear the table.

Finou, did you remember the lemon grass?

I thought of everything, Minouche.

Even my sunscreen?

Shit, almost forgot.

C'mon, my scarf for your dress!

- I said no! - But!

- My dress! - What's wrong?

Luna spilled her chocolate!

What?

One can't be so clumsy!

You think it's all I got to do?

- It was Colombe! - I don't care.

Can we take some Coke along?

No, you'll get carsick.

I got diarrhea.

Oh Christ.

- Fred! - What now?

- Diarrhea! - No!

I'll put some Coke in the picnic basket.

Louise, you can get up, we're nearly ready!

I'd like to avoid the jams!

Fred, don't stress me out at 10 am, please!

I HATE MY BEST FRIENDS' KIDS

Stop!

Hey, are you nuts?

Great!

Jesus...

Yanis,

can you help me move the sofa?

Alright.

She's dead after the TGV.

The bathroom's lined

with pubic hair!

We could make an Afro wig for Fred, huh?

Great for a disguise birthday party!

Why not hair implants too?

OK, don't start.

That's enough, I'm worn out!

See, my nails are all scratched from all the rubbing.

- You're right, me too. - Hey girls...

Put some on, then we'll laze around on terrace.

- C'mon. - Let go!

How about it?

- It's disgusting! - Saved by bleach!

Oh no, Ange!

I killed myself cleaning up!

You mustn't play with grapes.

You little devil.

We've got an artist in the house. It's a real Picasso!

Doesn't matter, we're on holidays. Come darling.

Come on, darling.

I'll change you.

- You got the sponges? - Yeah!

- Why all this yoghurt? - The market's too far.

- Look, it's Cécile. - Yeah, at last!

Oh, great!

About time, too!

You're not too exhausted?

I'm so glad you're here!

It wasn't too long?

The house's filthy, not enough bedrooms.

You're in the living room.

And a mystery landlord!

- Shit, I'm sorry. - It's OK.

The view's great.

At last we're on holiday together.

Don't worry.

It'll be great. Have a good trip?

I'm so tickled: Siestas and aperitifs galore!

- The kids'll play, we'll rest. - They'll love it!

They hardly ever see each other.

Finally, out of Brittany!

You said it!

- Hi! - How are you?

- Have a good trip? - Yes.

Let's toast Cécile's arrival.

Sure, I'll get some plastic cups.

Fred's super and he did all the shopping!

Hello, darlings!

Hey, are you nuts or something?

We want our swimsuits!

What's this nonsense?

Put your suitcases away immediately!

And learn to say "hello" first!

- Hello. - Hi, Paolo.

Did you see the sweat marks under her arms?

Ugh! How disgusting!

When you think we gotta share a room with them...

Remember Colombe?

Yeah...

Sataya, this is Rose.

Last time you met

was at Luna's birthday in September.

Cécile, come have a drink! Leave them to it!

The eyes...

And this,

is the mouth.

These,

are the ears.

Thanks, Yanis, for taking care of Ange.

Don't mention it, I love kids.

- Gimme back my camera! - Piss off!

Give it back to him this instant!

He shouldn't have given it to me!

I didn't, she stole it from my bag!

If Paolo can't keep his word, too bad, but give it back!

Here, cry-baby!

Hey, what's wrong with you?

Such manners!

Next time you'll be punished!

You OK?

We can't let girls push us around!

We guys stick together!

Your camera!

C'mon, kids, clear up...

- We're on holiday! - Can't you do it?

Mom?

Rosie and I don't wanna sleep.

Back to your bedroom now.

I don't wanna sleep!

And miss all those good dreams? Too bad for you!

I keep having nightmares about you turning into a witch!

C'mon...

Come along with me.

I'll take you on my magic broomstick.

Mom?

Yes?

Is it because of you Dad's not here on holidays with us?

My life with the kids is too complicated.

It's best you tell them the truth.

What truth is that?

The only truth is that I haven't a clue.

Still, you manage fine with the kids.

Sure, you're calm,

and a good friend, that's great.

You must be kidding.

Coping with 2 kids of 2 absent fathers

teaches you to remain calm.

I'm not as calm as you.

It's terrifying bringing them up alone

and waking up in the morning all by myself.

Question of habit.

Even if a man sleeps with me, by morning he's long gone.

It's true!

Cheers!

They, however...

You said it.

You're a real tiger!

What happened to you?

Wait, I've got a idea!

What's wrong? Is one of the kids sick?

No, but we're lonely and a bit depressed.

So we'd like to sleep with you.

You idiots, c'mon, get out of here!

Here!

Go on, get out, out!

- A single shot. - A what?

Sorry.

A coffee, please.

It's funny, on the way from Pélissonne,

I saw tons of cars with Paris plates.

Crazy, huh?

The place is infested with Parisians! A real shame.

Yes honey?

I'm just finishing my coffee.

Of course I'm alone! What are you imagining?

C'mon, stop.

Yes.

OK, see you later.

Yes, I'll be right over.

Me too.

You won't be disappointed.

Hello, there are 6 of us...

Yes, I'll take care of you.

Let me do it, if you don't mind.

They're a bit slow.

I'll take 2 as we're missing one.

- The river's that way. - Yes.

Let me explain. Rule 1:

Adjust and respect your equipment.

C'mon, c'mon.

You too, come on!

Hi, I'm Fred but you can call me "Help!"

Paolo.

- What's this? - An oar.

A paddle!

Rule 2:

Sail safely,

taking into account the skill-difficulty factor,

and favoring propulsion,

while keeping the boat balanced.

Péné, can you tie his strap on please.

Rule 3: Anticipate

the movement of the boat with the paddle, like this,

pulling from far ahead,

to far behind. One to the right,

and one to the left, like this.

Good, good.

Like this, not like a windshield wiper.

Be careful:

The current will always take you the wrong way.

But don't panic.

The river's calling us, c'mon!

Disassociate your upper and lower body movements.

Sideways to advance, vertical to turn.

OK, got it, Fred!

One paddle on either side!

Look at the fish, Rose, look!

Cécile? Keep it horizontal!

Péné, go on, paddle, paddle! You're drifting!

- That's what I'm doing! - You're drifting!

It's all your fault!

Paddle!

Stop, a branch!

- Wait... - Watch out!

What a jerk, what a moron!

What a dumbhead that guy is!

Result, Péné capsized us.

And Cécile. I told her to keep it horizontal!

Is that so complicated?

Of course not!

I swear!

My day's ruined!

- It doesn't matter. - No!

No, I mean it!

- Is this the price? - Absolutely.

And cheap at that.

Hi, Vincent, how's things?

Oh, it's true,

but what a mess when we arrived,

between the kids and this dump.

Take advantage of our absence to enjoy yourself.

My only pleasure was with you.

We have to change. Let's not start again.

It's you who can't get along.

Listen, we agreed we needed time apart, so stop, please.

Goodnight, Sataya. Goodnight, Luna.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, Colombe.

Goodnight, Yanis.

Goodnight, my love.

I would have liked to say goodnight to Dad.

Rosine would have liked to say goodnight as well to Pops.

Do you miss him?

We'll phone him tomorrow. I promise.

Yes!

OK, now go to sleep.

Let's go to sleep!

Nite, Mom!

Nite, Mom!

- Nite all. - Nite, Cécile!

And if anyone wakes the others, watch your backside!

- Your mom's so... - Shut it!

Christ, I want to sleep! Make him shut up!

He'll wake everyone!

Mom, I'm thirsty!

You're not going to start too?

Can't you stop your kid howling all night?

You want me to gag him or what?

I love a drink of cheap rosé in this heat!

We wanna go swimming!

You got the whole holiday.

- So cool it. - Rosine wants to swim too!

No is no and that's it.

Go play now.

Go on!

We wanna swim! We wanna swim!

Don't run, you'll hurt yourself.

We've been had!

What's going on?

What happened?

The water's too cold to swim!

- It's freezing! - I'm going in!

- Mopeheads! - Let's go!

C'mon, c'mon!

Or I'll come and get you!

We'll freeze to death!

- Fred, watch out! - I'm coming.

- No swimming, no Nutella! - They're no fun!

I'll splash you then!

- This sucks! - When are we going back?

- She's kicking me! - Stay seated!

- Hands in! - I'm fed up!

Stop kicking, we'll have an accident. Shut up!

We hear you!

C'mon Rose, eat.

I hate capers!

But they're from Italy, your dream!

No, not capers!

Alright.

- Then try some cheese. - No!

I'll give you a Euro.

- No! - Please!

Buying her is perverse.

Turn that off!

It's nice when they're in bed, huh?

What delicious silence!

I'm bushed.

Game of Tarot?

Alright.

Too bad Vincent's not here.

Don't worry.

Maybe it's just a bad time.

Please don't smoke in front of the kids.

They don't know it's cut with grass.

At last, on holidays!

- Do you guys always agree? - Yeah.

We're in tune.

For us, for the kids,

Fred's super.

- I'm super cool too! - Yes, you are.

That's enough!

You're jealous!

I drew the right number.

We laugh lots!

We fuck lots!

It's a beautiful life!

Game of Tarot?

Not again!

I'd like to discuss what happened

this afternoon with the kids and swimming.

If things go on like this, they'll walk all over us.

Already Rose's becoming a problem.

Yes, she is difficult.

I think we must be practical.

And set one rule for everyone, to avoid going crazy.

- Right, Louise? - Yeah, sure.

We want to spend a nice, quiet holiday, right?

We've got to put our foot down!

- Like how? - What?

- A candy? - No, not those!

You're joking.

- C'mon! - It's mine!

It's my personal holiday stash!

- No, they're ultra rare! - Give me one.

What? OK, you want a candy?

- Here's one. - Oh my!

Oh my, it's war!

You should clean up a little.

Who threw the mustard?

This holiday's started badly!

At least that's what we think!

So that everyone has a good holiday, we've made rules,

to be obeyed...

Paolo, can you listen up?

Which will be obeyed.

Colombe, stop please!

Thank you, darling.

Rule Number One:

Adults must never get mixed up in kids' arguments,

and let them work it out themselves.

That's good.

Rule Number Two:

Lights out at 10:30 pm, on the button!

Rule Number Five:

Kids are to say, at least, politely "hello"

to parents at breakfast.

Did you forget one?

- What about meals? - No snacking between meals!

Rules are now in effect, so clear the table.

I'll put it up on the fridge so no one will forget.

C'mon, clear the table!

Rule Number One.

- Watch Ange, I'm taking a nap. - Sure.

Go on!

I say: Rule Number Zero: Every kid for himself!

We don't have to obey them! And pot's illegal!

What's pot?

It means this!

Don't tell them I'm the owner or I'm cooked.

- What'll you give? - Quit dreaming!

Hi! Sofia, Cécile's friend.

- Yeah, hi! Fred. - How are you?

- How are you? - Hello, Samy.

Yeah, Cécile!

Did the owner send you over to finish the work?

Luckily Samy's here to the rescue!

When someone need's saving, Samy's around!

If he's the White Knight, I'm Queen Elizabeth!

- Knock it off! - Oh, I'm scared!

Mom, chocolate!

No, it'll ruin your appetite.

Rule 8: No snacks between meals. It's on the fridge.

Chocolate!

Otherwise I won't eat a thing for lunch!

Out of the question! That's blackmail!

You're not giving that crap

to your daughter?

Careful, chocolate's dangerous.

You'll get chocolitis!

- What's chocolitis? - Chocolitis

is when someone

eats too much chocolate

and they start swelling

and swelling until they're enormous!

Then they shoot up into the air

so near the sun

they burst in an explosion of chocolate!

Here.

What's wrong now?

I said give it to me with your left hand!

Watch it or you'll have me to deal with!

Can't we make a deal?

It's all the poetry of my Louise!

Have a nice nap?

I couldn't get to sleep.

I raise my glass to Cécile! Thanks to her we're here!

I hope with Vincent, whom we miss...

Enough!

Enough, OK?

We got the point. I'll get some ice.

Lucky you're here, I was feeling lonely.

Game of bowls?

Got a stick of gum?

Maybe, maybe.

I'm no sex fiend!

I love the idea of our kids carrying on our friendship.

And I love the idea of our kids carrying on friendship.

- Why are the kids sulking? - They're not.

They're just tired.

I toast to love! And the electric company!

And especially our damned landlord!

It's robbery, we shouldn't pay all the rent!

Yeah, screw him!

Absolutely!

Sophia, are you from around here?

On my mother's side, Solange Fromhere.

Did Cécile mention me?

You staying to finish the pipework?

No, I've got another job.

Oh really? Too bad.

I could have lent a hand.

- You know pipes? - Inside out!

It really is hot in here. Well...

Bye!

Some class, Sofia, how vulgar can one be!

Don't be mean, I think she's nice.

Finou's eyes reeked of pussy from staring at her ass!

Don't be vulgar.

I wonder if Minouche, who's so cool, noticed.

"Fred's super!"

Where are the kids?

Don't worry, they're having a ball.

Here they are.

How are you, darling?

Just a little exhausted.

How about a nap, just the two of us?

C'mon, just 15 minutes.

What's wrong, Paolo?

Oh no, not again!

Who's got to clean it up? I'm fed up!

Go and change! And don't come out for 2 hours!

You can't punish Paolo just because he peed while asleep.

Maybe that's not the way to help him stop.

He's right.

Shit and double shit!

You piss me off!

Maybe you overdid it, Minouche.

How about Miss Fromhere?

But where's Péné?

Don't change the subject.

Thanks.

Hello, how are you?

Hello.

Can I offer you a coffee?

Two coffees.

Thanks.

There's canoeing here?

Yes, it's very popular in the area.

I have to go, thanks for the coffee.

- I have to go to, I have to... - Bye.

Whenever you're angry, I get it!

Rotten holidays.

Why do we gotta do everything and not the others?

What was Dad like when he was young?

Covered with pimples,

braces and glasses.

So why'd you choose him?

Cause he was the ugliest!

That way I was sure no one would steal him.

And now?

What about now?

Now nothing. That's adult business.

Sorry about this afternoon. Maybe I was a bit too direct.

It's OK.

C'mon, let's not make a mountain out of a molehill.

Who got out of bed the wrong side!

There's the sun, the kids, we're on holiday!

There's worse in life, huh?

I spoke to Vincent.

Seems there's a heat wave in Paris.

They're suffocating.

You spoke to Vincent?

He wanted news of Paolo and Rose.

He said he couldn't reach you.

None of my business, I'm just reporting what he said.

But he seemed pretty down.

Maybe you're being a bit hard.

Want to talk about it?

You sure?

Please, Fred, stop.

Y'know, Cécile, Vince is a great guy!

Hey, this is mine!

Rule 4:

No TV. It was even you who found it! Aren't you're pushing things a bit?

And you could at least say hello.

And a little less noise!

Rule 4: Let Louise and I sleep.

- Cécile? - Yes?

Rose had a nightmare. Didn't she tell you?

No.

To let you sleep she slept with us.

Phew, it's here.

- No-one bought the paper yet? - No.

How are you, sweetie? And the kids?

How are you, Colombe?

What's so funny?

Not this cartoon.

I'm off to the village. Need anything?

We've got enough to eat for 2 days!

I have to return Sofia's shades.

Wait, I'm coming too!

I've got to buy lighter fluid.

I'm coming!

- Just a second! - But you stopped smoking!

And the barbecue?

Darling...

Cécile can pick one up.

No, she wouldn't know which brand to choose.

I'm taking the girls. That way you can sleep.

Bye, darling.

Luna, Colombe, come on.

We're in our pajamas!

- Go get dressed! - Let's not take all morning!

Who wants to be held by the ogre who drowns kids?

Me! Me!

No, I'm afraid of the big ogre!

But it's me, Daddy!

Hi.

- What's your name? - Gueff?

What's it really?

Gueff.

Hurry, we're going home.

No one ever wants to do anything new.

- Meaning? - Hi!

- How are you? - Fine and you?

Fine, thanks.

For example, I'm starting a new business

like in Paris, London and Berlin, but mentalities never change.

A glass of white wine.

What is it?

- A new store. - What kind?

Erotic.

Oh yeah?

Porno but classy.

With elegant erotic gadgets

made out of marble or Murano glass.

Maybe even gold for certain sex toys.

And offer high class customers

spanking classes!

Sounds great!

Maybe even bondage later on!

I'm getting my business plan ready.

Come see me, I'm a realtor.

I'm used to setting up projects.

How nice of you!

Ta-ta, must be off!

Ciao, girls, and thanks!

Porno but classy!

I think she's got tons of energy and a head for business.

The teenybopper's pal!

- Louise would be proud of you! - What?

Wait, it's got nothing to...

I saw you!

My dad does everything at home.

When I grow up, I'll be just like Mom.

Yeah, and repeat all their...

their... what are they called again?

Blunders!

You seeing a shrink?

No, why?

With that sister of yours...

Hi, Dad, it's Paolo.

I can't find my jar of grasshoppers.

Otherwise things are really great.

Rose is eating.

Otherwise...

Mom's great as well.

Alright, I love you.

Don't worry.

I hope that between... Never mind.

I love you very much!

Goodbye!

- You want my potato chips? - Yeah.

I got none, can I have barbecue chips?

Who are you trying to kid?

I heard you offer yours to Paolo when my back was turned.

How conniving can you get?

Her highness prefers barbecue chips, so everyone must pander to her whims!

Mom!

Are you crazy?!

Even we never hit her!

C'mon, honey.

No way to raise kids!

You're always flying off the handle!

Cécile, it's a shame.

You sure? It's too bad.

Let's not overreact.

I'm not, I just have to go.

Put on your belt, Paolo.

The holiday's not working. I can't cope with your kids or mine.

If I stay, there'll be real trouble.

I'm not in great shape these days, so it's best for all.

OK...

No, I don't believe it!

You see, I promised! Here we are!

It's down below and to the right.

I'll turn around.

I'm coming, Véro!

Can I help out in the kitchen?

No, relax.

It's my new boss whom I vaguely invited.

But I never thought she'd show up!

She's a real leech!

Go play, OK?

I almost bought you

some lovely coffee cups in a shop,

but wasn't sure you'd like them.

I couldn't decide, so I didn't get them, sorry.

You did right.

Here at last.

Fresh air, out on the terrace, surrounded by nature...

Lovely for strolls, huh, Jean-Mi?

Yeah, you said it!

Plan on staying long?

I don't know.

She wanted to stop off on our way Barcelona.

We're in no rush.

So we took a little swing over.

It's really hidden away. Almost impossible to find.

Not quite, alas.

It's so great!

- Relaxing? - You bet!

Nice where you live?

Super!

She's just kidding.

Our brother died in an accident, we can't do anything alone.

Dad's always afraid something might happen to us.

You said it!

Even the Sea Scouts were out!

He was afraid I'd drown. At my age!

Hey, dig the rocks, they look like ships!

Watch it, it's pitching!

A storm's brewing!

Where do your kids go to school?

A private Catholic school with top supervision.

At least that way you know where they are,

and who they're with.

And what they think...

Yeah, it's not much fun.

Still, it provides a good education, solid benchmarks,

and a good future.

That's what counts!

Tibetan sauerkraut

with thyme sausages and tofu!

I'll have black radish juice, no salt, please.

Alright.

I love this fresh salad!

Where are you staying tonight?

Jean-Mi and I were wondering if we could

put our tents in your garden?

Of course. There's room down by the ruins. I'll help you.

But it's full of animals!

Don't worry, last summer

we went to the Amazon, so...

Amazon's a big word, we actually went to the Amazonian Forest.

- In French Guyana. - What if it storms?

We've got a Decathlon hermetic tent.

You think I got a big nose?

It looks just like that!

- How about gin rummy later? - Why not tarot?

It's a bit late

all the same.

It's already 9:30 pm.

We have to get the kids to bed. Rule 3: Lights out by 10:30.

- Right, Finou? - Sure.

Take it easy! Paolo, quiet!

Stop shouting, people are asleep! C'mon, in you go!

We sure made it out of that!

Fred's super!

Say!

I can't dump them on you. The Decathlons are tough!

Even the Ayurvedic restaurant didn't put them off!

I'll go as soon as they leave.

How are things with Samy? No sign of him?

I dropped him. I didn't interest him.

My thong won't be celebrating yet.

So quickly? It's not like you.

I'm fed up of making a mess of it all.

My sweetie!

And the cops who take my car

while I drop the kids at school...

Always...

Jean-Mi?

What's going on?

Stop waking me up, OK?

It sounds like wild boars!

Why not rhinos while you're at it?

Did you hear that?

All I hear is you.

- Christ, there's one! - Stop!

Quick!

Run!

Hello!

- Sleep well? - Yes, like a baby!

Thanks, darling.

Hi, honey!

Up already?

Their bag of shit?

How revolting!

- Hi! - Hi!

I got up early to buy organic croissants!

- Want one? - No!

OK, too bad for you.

Can I do my wash in your bathroom sink?

Just use the machines.

No, we're on holidays. I love scrubbing with soap!

As if it washed away all the paperwork in my head.

What's for lunch?

We have anything?

Care to share our picnic?

Pasta salad.

Get the sports paper?

No, but we can pick one up in town.

No, I'd like him to help me fix your headlight.

Great, some rascal busted it.

- So, you ready? - Yes.

Absolutely!

Right away, when you gotta go, you gotta go!

Lead the way!

Real nice!

You're a real expert!

I never can fix anything.

Oh, it's fixed!

A magic touch!

Same for all?

No better than another, you know, it's just that...

I like doing it.

I love men who fix cars, it's so sexy!

Oh yeah?

- Oh, sorry! - Hey, that's my foot!

- Hot, huh? - It's the least one can say!

You got it everywhere.

I'll...

Watch out.

Shit, sorry!

Not staying for lunch?

It's nice of you, but we've a long way to go to Barcelona.

Too bad, we've got squid, it'd go great with your pasta salad.

Another time.

Let's go.

Buckle up, kids.

Bye kids, behave in the car!

Bye! Ciao!

At last!

At the same time, they don't look unhappy.

They get by, no doubt.

See how they bring up their kids? They don't seem very happy.

There's no mystery:

Happy kids require happy parents.

And happy parents are ones who fuck!

My grass is melting away!

Jean-Michel's not bad, huh?

You wouldn't have a secret desire to...

And you

for Sofia's spanking classes?

Weren't the kids odd at the restaurant?

No fighting, no insults,

no wonder we're destabilized.

You can't go now, Cécile, really!

Oh no.

Come on.

We had a bad start, but we can begin all over.

All's well with the kids now.

No, no and no.

Once bitten, twice shy!

C'mon Cécile.

Let's make a new rule!

We take care of our own kids

and hands off the others!

No more reproaches,

no more comments,

no more insinuations or knowing looks?

Cross my heart!

If yours want Coke at 8 am

or to dance naked at night in the bushes.

It's fine by me!

If they want to belch or fart,

or get run over...

They're free!

OK.

The bitch is staying!

The bitch is staying!

Tomorrow we'll throw a party

to celebrate Cécile's return!

Péné, can you grab the bottle of water?

Sorry, I can't do a thing for you. Ask your parents.

Louise,

Ange's electrocuting himself!

Shit, I can't find it now.

I can't find it.

Wouldn't you like... couldn't you go get me a nail?

Listen, Rose, that's enough now.

You're entitled to sing.

Just go do it in your room

so we can't hear you.

Sorry, I came here as the toilet's blocked.

It's me who's sorry, I took the short-cut.

To fix the boiler.

Great, in this heat we're freezing inside!

- Really? - I'm struggling.

It doesn't matter.

- You married? - Me?

I'm for freedom. How about you?

Same here.

I had my kids on flings.

Romances, that is, but short-lived.

How'd you land up here?

I came to do my thesis on Mediterranean ecology.

The relationship between man and nature.

They say man observes nature but nature observes us as well.

I'd never have imagined.

I'm kidding, I fix houses in the area.

- Can I get you a drink? - No thanks.

I spotted you instantly.

Know what? I got something to tell you.

I'm the landlord.

For once, the joke's on me!

Come with us!

Come on!

Quite frankly,

Don't you think the power of the mother excludes

the father

in his role, in a harmful way?

You're not starting up again?

Cut the Freudian mumbo-jumbo!

Can we... can we...

have a normal conversation, just for once?

The jade balls are super.

You should make more. We'd make an easy ten grand!

See you later. Hi!

Is Freddy around?

No, he's in town.

Could you give him this? I forgot it at the party.

A great party, thanks!

I'm fed up doing everything!

What's going on?

It's Fred.

What about him?

I think...

something is going on with Sofia.

He's always strutting in front of her!

You're crazy.

It's just harmless flirtation, nothing more.

Stealing other women's men isn't Sofia's trip.

Fred loves you. You know it.

I'm still worried sick.

We haven't made love for days!

I can feel things aren't right.

He's a stranger.

I'm sure he's doing her!

Stop raving.

She's even invited him to a bullfight tomorrow!

And he says he's a big bull fighting fan!

He wouldn't hurt a fly and supports Greenpeace!

Still she's nice and even invited me.

Well go on!

It'll keep you from imagining God only knows what.

What about the kids? I can't drag them along!

They'd go into shock!

Shit, that's right.

We leave in 2 days

so I told Péné I'd baby-sit so she can fuck Samy.

Oh nuts!

Yeah, nuts as you say.

Unless...

Unless...

you take care of the kids, just for the afternoon.

Well, OK.

If you find a sitter for Ange or ask Yanis,

otherwise I'll go crazy.

Of course.

First my donkey's very nice, he's the one I prefer.

I'm to ride him at the top, so it's my turn

Did you steal my bug jar?

You got no proof, jerkhead!

You already swiped my camera, you thief!

What nonsense! Go run to Mummy!

Go and snitch, you cry-baby!

I hate you!

Sticks and stones!

Jesus, alone at last!

No-one else for 50 km!

According to the map

it's to the right.

But Mom, we're going in circles!

We passed here 30 min ago!

Don't start!

- I'm starving! - Then eat a hand

and save the other for tomorrow.

Driving me nuts all summer!

Why's Paolo got chocolate and not me?

'Cos I love you less.

You're mean! No wonder Dad's gone!

He'll find someone nicer, prettier and younger!

When you have kids

you'll remember how kind and patient I was.

Now stop acting up like Colombe!

I'm fed up, I'm all scratches!

What am I to do?

Lay out markers along your passage?

Watch out, Sataya, a stone! Red alert, nettles!

Careful of the dust!

Louder, Freddy!

C'mon!

C'mon, I know it's hard.

It's hot, we're thirsty, but if you're good...

I'll take you all to the pool tomorrow.

Cross your heart?

And hope to die!

It's your fault!

And I can't trust Yanis.

He runs after anything that moves.

I shouldn't have gone chaperoning you at the damn fight!

Quit exaggerating.

He's fine, Minouche.

Don't Minouche me!

You call me Finou.

I've never said a word about your kids, right?

He's not your kid to bawl out! I'm his mother.

His behaviour's terrible,

but he's only 14 and doesn't have the patience.

What's going on?

Nothing, but maybe it wasn't such hot idea

leaving the kids with you.

Sataya's is all scratched

and Colombe's all worked up!

The kids are all sunburnt!

You nearly died

without a drop of water!

I'm sorry, but it was thoughtless of you!

I don't mean to rub it in,

but it was irresponsible, reckless.

What a basket case.

Minouche!

Mr. Muscles!

Hold out your arms!

Legs together!

Let's go, Colombe!

Super!

Show them your stuff!

Move back!

I can't jump!

Move back, Colombe!

Move back!

Colombe, move it!

He'll be fine, our son's strong.

If the head's OK, everything's OK.

It's not so bad.

I don't know, in 90 minutes.

OK, I'm on my way!

Here he is,

just a fright, no more.

A real little rubber band!

If you don't want to kill your folks learn to behave.

OK and don't come back!

Goodbye.

Look me in the eyes, it's very important.

What happened with Paolo is very serious.

He might have died.

Did you do it on purpose or not?

Colombe! Are you listening?

Answer me!

Louise, stop it.

She's all upset. It was an accident.

Jesus, Fred, you make me angry!

It's not working!

Sorry for trying to make you face the truth!

So get a grip on your libido first!

What's this obsession?

Nothing's going on with Sofia!

She's common, plain.

- What's wrong? - You ask?

Mr. Club Med!

Drop the Miss Cool, it just ain't you!

You can't trust me!

You always have to control everything!

Paolo...

Forgive me.

You want more cushions for your head?

No thanks.

Here.

Thanks.

Want your dinner?

No, I'm not at all hungry.

A yoghurt? It'll do you good.

Nah, really not.

If you want to eat, it's in the fridge.

There's ham, sliced melon and cheese.

Use throwaway plates and glasses.

We're used to it, it's all marked on the fridge.

Oh really?

OK, then.

Sataya, give me a hand. OK, everyone to the table!

Cécile,

I wanted to say

I'm sorry...

for everything.

- So is Colombe. - Sorry for what?

Being odious the whole holiday?

Nearly killing my son?

I see you all in a new light and hate it!

I hate hating you!

And hate myself even more for hating your kids!

The only favor you can do

for that manipulating brat of yours

is drag her to a shrink!

Cécile, stop, stop.

Don't worry, Mom, everything will be fine.

Say, what if we all slept together for once?

I think the three of us deserve a good cuddle.

Tell them I love them very much

and I left to cover an emergency on a site.

I'll call them later.

OK, I'll let them know.

Yes, if you like.

A COIN

SVP

Super-Very-Please?

No, I'm just finishing packing.

I wanted to tell you

you're great with the kids.

The size of the jade penis

cannot surpass

5 centimeters in circumference.

Our folks are pissed at each other.

- Will we see each other again? - You're not blind.

It was fun.

Don't worry, we can exchange e-mails.

- Here. - Thanks.

Still, what a nightmare.

Vincent's gone, now Louise and you...

Very very tense.

She thinks I had an affair.

Did you?

No, of course not!

I just don't know what to do.

Again?

Yes, darling.

Yes? You idiot!

OK, see you later.

Can we have one last swim before leaving? It's so hot!

Go on.

I thought you hated cold water.

- Now I like it! - Yeah?

C'mon, please!

One tiny little dip before hitting the road?

Why not? That won't delay us much.

Please!

One more before we head home?

OK, they shouldn't suffer for us.

Mom, coming swimming with us? The water's great!

C'mon, Dad!

Watch out, the monster's coming!

Hey, Mom!

Can we invite Colombe and Luna to my birthday?

Please, say yes!

Subtitles by Jonathan Gontar

Subtitling: Eclair Video - Paris