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1
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:07,215
MAN: I don't have custody of the kids
I don't get custody.
2
00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:09,050
WOMAN: It is pathetic
what I've had to go through
3
00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:11,052
MAN: Right now, she doesn't know
where the kids are.
4
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,553
WOMAN:
Do not talk about me as a mother
5
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,763
MAN:
Are they home?
6
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,932
WOMAN: I'm so sick to death of you
talking about me as a mother.
7
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,934
MAN: They're probably
at a firehouse somewhere
8
00:00:18,102 --> 00:00:19,352
WOMAN:
Do not talk about that.
9
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,521
I'm sick of you accusing me
of not being a good mother.
10
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,272
MAN: Are they home?
WOMAN: I've been a good mother!
11
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,108
MAN: A perfect mother?
I can't have custody.
12
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,901
WOMAN: Just remember how you--
MAN: Right now.
13
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,111
Where is Tim right now?
14
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,612
WOMAN:
Don't you talk about me being a mother.
15
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,698
-I hate you!
MAN: Hey, I got an idea.
16
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,117
Why don't you just kiss my left nut?
17
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,411
-I told you this was a bad idea.
JEREMY: You know what, Ken?
18
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,122
A bad idea would be to let your client
walk out of here today...
19
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:43,418
...and drag this thing out for another year,
wasting more time and more money.
20
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,129
The only good idea is to let
me and John do our job...
21
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,797
...and mediate this thing right here.
22
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,549
You wanna hear the crazy thing?
23
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,968
I know it doesn't feel like it,
but we're making progress.
24
00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,637
JEREMY: Mm-hm.
-We settled the deal with the cars.
25
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,098
That takes us to frequent-flyer miles.
We're flying.
26
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:58,474
KROEGER: Those are mine.
-I want them.
27
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,476
We're gonna split them
right down the middle.
28
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,061
How'd that be, Mr. Kroeger?
29
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:05,481
It would be not good at all.
I earned those miles.
30
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,984
Yeah, you earned them flying to Denver
to meet your whore.
31
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:09,152
Oh, Lord.
32
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,821
Well, she's not afraid
to express herself sexually.
33
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,406
She is a stripper, for God's sake!
34
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,075
-She is not.
-Her name is Chastity.
35
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,828
She is white trash. Same as you.
36
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,163
Hillbilly.
37
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,957
That's it, go comatose for me, baby.
38
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,252
You shut your mouth
when you're talking to me.
39
00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:28,838
Hold it. This is getting confusing.
40
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,090
You didn't always hate each other.
41
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,676
There had to be nice moments,
during the courtship, maybe?
42
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,137
-Or the wedding?
-The wedding had to be fun.
43
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:38,097
-You have your families.
-Your decorations.
44
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,391
Families coming together.
That's a nice moment.
45
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,518
-What'd you have to eat?
-Crab cakes.
46
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:45,605
Are you kidding me?
How could you not have a good time?
47
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,357
-I love them. They're phenomenal.
-And did you have a band?
48
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,984
-Yeah.
JOHN: Good or bad?
49
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,987
Who gives a shit? It's a great band,
a bad band, it's like pizza, baby.
50
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:54,781
It's good no matter what. There's music!
51
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,533
You get them playing "Shout"
and you hate it.
52
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,660
[SINGING THE ISLEY BROTHERS'
"SHOUT"]
53
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:03,623
JEREMY:
It's a good time, know what I mean?
54
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,209
Rubbing up against each other,
a couple of kids who like to fuck...
55
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:07,877
...trying to make it honest. I get it.
56
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:12,006
Guys, the real enemy here
is the institution of marriage.
57
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,300
It's not realistic, it's crazy.
58
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,968
Don't do this for the other person.
59
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,679
-Say yes to yourself and your future.
-Say yes.
60
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:22,099
Have some opportunities for yourself.
I'm sure you'd love to be free...
61
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,727
...maybe go out and meet some
Latin guy that can dance...
62
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:27,897
...grind up on you,
make you feel dangerous but also safe.
63
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,066
And you? Don't you wanna
get inside Chastity...
64
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,151
...without wondering if anyone's
gonna find out?
65
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,320
JOHN: Wouldn't that be sweet?
JEREMY: Wouldn't that be nice?
66
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,531
And have some Latin guy
sweating all over you...
67
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,491
...talking to you in languages
you don't understand...
68
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,409
...needing you, wanting you, taking you?
69
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,204
All we're trying to say is...
70
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,456
...put your swords away for a second.
71
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:48,292
Let's finish this and let's move on.
72
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,711
Get out there and get some strange ass.
73
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,006
Could you give her a glass of water
so she can take that?
74
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:02,098
Hey, John, that's weird.
That glass looks half full to me.
75
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:06,269
Wow, now that you mention it,
it is half full.
76
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,773
He can have the miles.
77
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:14,360
No, sweetie, you take the miles.
78
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,822
Great. Great! Let's sign the paperwork
and we are done.
79
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,783
This is just semantics. You guys
wanna throw a couple miles at us...
80
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:23,536
...we'll take a couple. The big thing is
that we're all moving on.
81
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,205
Could you two just not talk anymore?
82
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:41,888
Oh, good, you got it.
Is it 1 00 percent goose down?
83
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,931
-Yes. Why do you need this?
-Are you sure?
84
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,642
I sleep over at John's house
every year for his birthday.
85
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,728
Okay, that's not creepy.
86
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,813
I guess it is a little creepy...
87
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,816
...when a young man
who happens to be an only child...
88
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:58,321
...loses both of his parents in a tragic
accident one month before his birthday...
89
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,281
...and then has a best friend
make a vow...
90
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:03,326
...that he will never spend
his birthday alone again.
91
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,495
Maybe that would fall under
the category of creepy.
92
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,081
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
93
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,792
-That's okay.
-No, you're really sweet.
94
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,628
I've got the perfect girl for you.
95
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,797
Janice, I apologize to you
if I don't seem real eager...
96
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,926
...to jump into a forced,
awkward intimate situation...
97
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,511
...that people like to call dating.
I don't like the feeling.
98
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,972
You're wondering,
"Do I have food on my face? Am I eating?
99
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,183
Am I talking too much?
Are they talking enough?
100
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,685
Should I play like I'm interested?
I'm not that interested.
101
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,854
She might be interested.
Do I want to be interested?
102
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:35,358
Now she's not interested. So now, all
of sudden, I'm starting to get interested."
103
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,526
When am I supposed to kiss her?
Do I wait for the door?
104
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,613
Then it's awkward. It's like, "Good night."
Do you do the ass-out hug?
105
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,531
Where you, like,
hug each other like this...
106
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,659
...and the ass sticks out because
you're trying not to get too close.
107
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,119
Do you kiss them on the lips?
Or don't kiss them at all?
108
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,038
It's very difficult to read the situation.
109
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,874
All the while you're wondering,
"Are we gonna get hopped up enough...
110
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,292
...to make some bad decisions?"
111
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,753
And perhaps play a little game called
Just the Tip.
112
00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,755
Just for a second,
just to see how it feels.
113
00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,632
Or Ouch, Ouch, You're on My Hair.
114
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,634
Okay.
115
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,887
Okay, can you--? Can you put that
so he can't see it? And thank you.
116
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:08,015
Hey, Janice. Great talk.
117
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,559
[PHONE BEEPS]
118
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,769
-John?
-Yeah?
119
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,562
I gotta see you right away,
it's important.
120
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,400
What's going on?
121
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,570
We got three really
big weeks ahead of us.
122
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:25,700
-It's wedding season, kid.
-You sandbagging son of a bitch.
123
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,576
I got us down for 1 7 of them already.
124
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:28,911
Okay, how many are cash bars?
125
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:31,956
Great question, love where your head's at,
and two of them actually are.
126
00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:34,917
But I got us covered.
127
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,754
Purple Hearts. We won't have
to pay for a drink all night.
128
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,506
Oh, yeah. Perfect.
129
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,259
We are gonna have tons of opportunities
to meet gorgeous ladies...
130
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:46,762
...that are so aroused by marriage,
they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind.
131
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,222
Who's gonna be there to catch them?
132
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,599
Grab that net and catch that
beautiful butterfly, pal.
133
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,935
What do you like better?
Christmas or wedding season?
134
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:56,105
-Mr. Grey.
-Yes, um, the answer would be...
135
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,773
...wedding season?
136
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:01,027
Bingo. I'm gonna go get my suit.
Oh, now, who are we this time?
137
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,195
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
138
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:10,286
Hey, Lou Epstein, I want you to meet
a real mensch, Chuck Schwartz.
139
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,954
Oh, stop.
140
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:23,090
And as we carry on the tradition
of thousands of years...
141
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,384
...we honor the eternal bond...
142
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,803
...that stretches through the ages.
143
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,307
I have known this couple
for many years.
144
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,810
Deborah I've actually known
for her entire life.
145
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:39,148
I was at her house when her parents
brought her home from the hospital...
146
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:42,985
...and I was there the day
she graduated from medical school.
147
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,654
Josh I have known
since his bar mitzvah...
148
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:52,161
...which those of you who were there
know it was not a very pretty sight.
149
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:55,122
But he has pulled himself
together nicely...
150
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:59,585
...and he's grown into a remarkable
young man himself.
151
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,754
-Okay.
RABBI: He never got the courage...
152
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:07,426
...to ask her out, until 1 0 years later,
Josh was in the emergency room...
153
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,428
...and he saw Deborah again...
154
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,180
-...and he said to himself:
- [WHISPERING] Hi.
155
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:14,517
RABBI: "Wait. That's the girl
I'm going to marry."
156
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,521
I now pronounce you man and wife.
157
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,899
BOTH:
Mazel tov!
158
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:26,195
Mazel tov, baby! From my family
to yours, mazel tov. Beautiful.
159
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,364
[PLAYING "HAVA NAGILA"]
160
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,037
[SINGING "HAVA NAGILA"]
161
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,876
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
AND LAUGHING]
162
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,753
Oh, my yarmulke fell off!
163
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,381
You sly son of a bitch.
164
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,883
[LAUGHING]
165
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,637
[SINGING "HAVA NAGILA"]
166
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:55,057
Does anyone know what
this here is used for?
167
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:58,727
-Rolling a fatty.
-No, not for-- Where'd you learn that?
168
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,563
You want to get a whole combination.
169
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,565
Get the frostings in the middle
and the end.
170
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,108
[HUMMING]
171
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:07,736
That's it, that's it, that's it! Come on!
172
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:12,658
You both look beautiful up there today,
particularly Debbie in that white dress.
173
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,744
Enjoy it. After tomorrow, I don't think
you're gonna be able to get away...
174
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,205
...with wearing a white dress.
175
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:22,585
Here, I'll just pick this off,
I'll go grab another piece. That's it.
176
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,338
[CHILDREN GASPING AND OOHING]
177
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,591
In the words of the old country....
178
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:29,758
[SPEAKS IN HEBREW]
179
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,552
[ALL SPEAK IN HEBREW]
180
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:32,761
[BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]
181
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,263
Ooh.
182
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,105
Come here!
183
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,940
I want you to take this note
to that blond girl.
184
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:47,568
Hurry, because I'm gonna time you. Go!
185
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:50,779
Hi.
186
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,783
Who gave this to you?
187
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,494
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
188
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,747
You know, I saw you at the wedding.
189
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:01,749
-And?
-You were crying.
190
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:05,294
Oh, shit. You weren't supposed to see that.
Now you probably think I'm a big pussy.
191
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:08,756
No, you were so sweet. Come here.
192
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,468
Look, I knew I was never gonna be
a professional bullfighter...
193
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,638
-...but that's not why I did it.
-Weren't you scared?
194
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,848
Can I say yes?
195
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,778
-Sanjay Collins.
-Chuck Vindaloo.
196
00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,279
Excited to be here.
197
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,615
-Shamus O'Toole.
-Bobby O'Shea.
198
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,825
-I'm ready to get drunk.
-Ha, ha.
199
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,994
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
200
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,748
-Who is that?
-Ah, him.
201
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:46,001
I think that's his kid Leonard.
The diabetic.
202
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,169
WOMAN:
Who is that?
203
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:50,923
That's Luigi and Gina's son Christopher.
You know, the banker.
204
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:55,761
Oh, that's Mae Lin's adopted son Benny,
the veterinarian.
205
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,722
-The French Foreign Legion?
-Yeah.
206
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,183
We lost a lot of good men out there.
207
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:04,353
Wow, really? Mount Everest?
208
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,023
I just don't like to talk about it because
we lost so many good men out there.
209
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,275
Oh.
210
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,819
Lost so many good men out there.
211
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,363
WOMAN:
Playing with the Yankees?
212
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,573
Yes, with the Yankees.
213
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,535
You lose good men
to trades and unruly fans.
214
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:22,538
I-- Look, I don't want
to talk about it, I'm sorry.
215
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,375
It's just a matter
of trying to get it down.
216
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,837
Tattoo on the lower back.
Might as well be a bull's-eye.
217
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,966
You know how they say
we only use 1 0 percent of our brains?
218
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,053
I think we only use 1 0 percent
of our hearts.
219
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,056
I feel so tiny in your arms.
220
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:44,310
Really? How tall are you?
221
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,896
I'm 6'5", but I feel like I'm 4 feet.
222
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:53,444
And some poetry,
courtesy of Sarah McLachlan.
223
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,159
[THE ISLEY BROTHERS' "SHOUT"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
224
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,754
[ALL SINGING]
225
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:25,768
Beautiful!
226
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,732
The bride!
227
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,068
All right, let's go, let's go,
let's make a memory!
228
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:37,112
What are you gonna do for an encore?
Walk on water?
229
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,739
Great guy. He brung me along too.
230
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,908
[LAUGHING]
231
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,580
-Jesus. Come on. You ruined it.
JOHN: Come on. Get in there.
232
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,792
You butchered the whole damn cake!
You don't treat cake like that.
233
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,044
-You gotta treat cake like a lady.
-Look at that.
234
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,796
Oh, I meant in front of all of them.
235
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,422
[CHORTLING]
236
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,472
And then everyone said, "Jabroni!"
237
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,474
[ALL LAUGHING]
238
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:08,769
Jabroni! This fucking guy, unbelievable!
239
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,646
Pop it in.
240
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,565
Now spread it around on each other.
241
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,567
We need a picture of this.
They're crazy!
242
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,736
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
243
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,991
Time to party! Time to party!
244
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,869
Come on, get a picture,
get a picture, get a picture.
245
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,808
Hot.
246
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,956
[LAUGHING AND MOANING]
247
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,793
Oh, no, no.
248
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,420
Oh, I'm sorry.
249
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,590
Sarah, I feel like I don't even know you.
250
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,884
It's Vivian.
251
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:11,767
Would you say you're completely
full of shit or just 50 percent?
252
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,103
I hope just 50, but who knows?
253
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:35,082
JEREMY:
Bet that blond was a real shot of life.
254
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,709
Yeah, real shot.
255
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,421
You don't think we're being--
256
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,840
I don't wanna say sleazy,
because that's not the right word...
257
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,885
...but a little irresponsible?
I mean, you know?
258
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,096
No.
259
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:52,140
One day, you'll look back
on all this and laugh...
260
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,809
...say we were young and stupid.
261
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,727
[CHUCKLING]
262
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,939
A couple of dumb kids running around.
263
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,984
We're not that young.
264
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,166
Hell of a season, pal.
265
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,335
JOHN:
Hell of a season.
266
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,636
Oh, baba ganoush.
267
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,346
What do we got?
268
00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,348
Christmas come early.
269
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,603
JOHN: Secretary Cleary?
JEREMY: Secretary of the treasury.
270
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,439
The guy you loved since business school.
Don't thank me.
271
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,482
I don't know.
I thought the season was over.
272
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,943
I was looking forward to
taking a break for a little bit.
273
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,447
John, what are you talking about?
This is the Kentucky Derby of weddings.
274
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,657
It's the Clearys.
They're an American institution.
275
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:54,369
Pal, there's gonna be
over 200 single women at this wedding.
276
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,455
Not to mention,
they got three live bands...
277
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,333
...they got oysters, snacks,
phenomenal finger food.
278
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,961
I'm tired, okay? My feet hurt.
My voice is hoarse.
279
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,339
Oh, please don't take
a turn to negative town.
280
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,174
What? Who's getting negative?
281
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:10,010
At the Buckner nuptials you were
sitting and sulking in the corner.
282
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,512
I wasn't sulking. I twisted my ankle.
283
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,557
Rule number 6:
Do not sit in the corner and sulk.
284
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,893
It draws attention to you
in a negative way.
285
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,479
Draw attention to yourself,
but on your own terms.
286
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,314
Don't quote the rules to me,
I know them.
287
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:26,193
When Chazz Reinhold passed the sacred
rules of wedding crashing onto us...
288
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:29,529
... 1 2 years ago, he gave us a legacy.
289
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,073
You make it sound like a cult.
290
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,659
From everything you told me
about him, he sounds like a kook.
291
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,662
You bite your tongue.
Chazz Reinhold is not a kook.
292
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,373
He is a brave and a decent man.
He is a pioneer.
293
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:42,584
He lived with his mother till he was 40.
She tried to poison his oatmeal.
294
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:46,421
Erroneous! Erroneous.
Erroneous on both counts.
295
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:49,091
-Oh, Lord. Here we go again.
-What you should be worried about...
296
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,885
...is not Chazz Reinhold,
who's in the hall of fame.
297
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,763
What you should be worried about
is you're getting sloppy.
298
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,974
Now, if you sit there
and expect me to go out on a limb...
299
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:01,103
...and try to pull off
the greatest crash of all time...
300
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,438
...I gotta know that your head's right.
301
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,776
There is no room for error.
302
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,278
Secret Service. Consequences.
303
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,031
I love your enthusiasm.
304
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,951
If I do this, I don't wanna half-ass it.
305
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,619
I want it well planned.
306
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,913
He's back.
307
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:22,249
All right, partner.
We'll start scheming tonight, okay?
308
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,876
-Sounds good. Okay.
-If you need me, I'll be on line six.
309
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:31,883
Could be fun.
310
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:44,646
Wow
311
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,149
KATHLEEN: Mr. Senator. Thank you.
-Congratulations, Kathleen.
312
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,192
-Bill, congratulations.
-Thank you, senator.
313
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,319
Secretary, they just grow up
so damn fast.
314
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,612
That's the truth, yeah.
315
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:57,617
-Okay. Let's do our pregame.
-What do you got?
316
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,579
Articles on Secretary Cleary's
economic policies.
317
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:04,249
There's also a roster of key family members,
a glossary, sailing terms.
318
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,209
-Sailing?
-Sailing's like sex to these people.
319
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,837
-They love it.
-Harvard, Kennedy School of Government.
320
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,465
Mom's big with charities,
blah, blah, blah.
321
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,133
Three daughters, one son.
322
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,594
-I get it. Good work.
-Good.
323
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,138
[CHATTERING]
324
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,819
Let me see that again, please.
325
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,614
Pretty handsome.
326
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,491
Okay, what's our back-story?
327
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:40,827
We're brothers from New Hampshire,
we're venture capitalists.
328
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,871
JEREMY:
I'm sick of that.
329
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:46,833
Let's be from Vermont, and let's have
an emerging maple-syrup conglomerate.
330
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,544
Wait, that's stupid. We don't know
anything about maple syrup.
331
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,797
I know everything there is
to know about maple syrup.
332
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,965
I love maple syrup.
I love maple syrup on pancakes.
333
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,802
I love it on pizza.
I put a little bit in my hair...
334
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,012
...when I've had a rough week.
What do you think holds it up, slick?
335
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,890
The first quarter of the big game
and you wanna toss up a Hail Mary.
336
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:04,434
I'd like to be pimps from Oakland
or cowboys from Arizona...
337
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:08,230
...but it's not Halloween.
Grow up, Peter Pan. Count Chocula.
338
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,148
Look, we've been to a million weddings.
339
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,400
And guess what.
We've rocked them all.
340
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,909
Great day.
341
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,328
- [WHISPERING] The Eagle has landed.
JEREMY: The big show.
342
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,873
Hey, hey. Fifth row back
with the fancy hat.
343
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,376
I like that.
344
00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:32,879
No, don't waste your time on girls
with hats, they tend to be very proper.
345
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,382
JEREMY:
Yeah?
346
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:38,426
The proper girl in the hat
just eye-fucked the shit out of me.
347
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,013
JOHN:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
348
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:46,017
Why don't you say it a little louder?
I don't think the priest heard you.
349
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,895
Look, John,
I'm sorry I'm not sorry, okay?
350
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:50,939
I'm not gonna apologize.
I'm a cocksman.
351
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,735
JOHN: Tourette's.
-Frank Myers.
352
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,904
John Ryan.
Say hello to my brother, Jeremy.
353
00:19:58,072 --> 00:19:59,364
-Hi.
-How are you?
354
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,908
So, um, how do you know the groom?
355
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:04,536
We are Uncle Ned's kids.
356
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,580
Uncle Ned.
357
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:10,417
-Is he Liz's brother?
-Uncle Ned, the brother of Aunt Liz.
358
00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:12,085
How is everybody?
359
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,588
Well, Dad kind of putters
around the house.
360
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,007
Aunt Liz sends her best.
She couldn't make it.
361
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,801
Yeah, I know.
362
00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:21,469
She's dead.
363
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,472
From the grave.
364
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,308
She sends her best from the grave.
365
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,476
We've become extremely spiritual...
366
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,812
-...ever since she passed.
-I see.
367
00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:33,148
But thank you so much
for your kindness, brother.
368
00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:35,817
Lord knows we need family now
more than ever.
369
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,904
-Well, you're welcome.
JEREMY: Thank you.
370
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,031
[PACHELBEL'S "CANON IN D"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
371
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:43,491
How many times are you
gonna do this shit?
372
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,952
Rule number 32:
You don't commit to a relative...
373
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,580
...unless you're absolutely positive
that they have a pulse.
374
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,957
Rule 1 6:
Give me an up-to-date family tree.
375
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:53,126
Your mistake.
You made me look like an idiot.
376
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,629
Rule number 76:
No excuses, play like a champion.
377
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,184
Hello, Red.
378
00:21:11,646 --> 00:21:14,147
-Dibs.
-She's all yours.
379
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:17,859
I ain't gonna fight you.
380
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,028
[WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
381
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,718
I think we've got a crier.
382
00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:46,471
-No shot.
-Twenty bucks.
383
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,682
-Make it 40.
-Done.
384
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,893
[CRYING]
385
00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:53,895
Oh, are you kidding me?
386
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:56,564
It's beautiful.
It's moving. It's a wedding.
387
00:21:56,732 --> 00:22:02,821
And now for our next reading,
I'd like to ask the bride's sister Gloria...
388
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:04,864
...up to the lectern.
389
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,825
Twenty bucks, 1 Corinthians.
390
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:09,327
Double or nothing, Colossians 3: 1 2.
391
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:15,166
And now a reading from
Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians.
392
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:19,254
"Love is patient, love is kind."
393
00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:22,424
As you all know, Craig and Christina...
394
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:25,552
...are quite the sailing enthusiasts.
395
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:29,764
In that light, they have elected
to exchange vows...
396
00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:32,434
...which they themselves have written.
397
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,270
The ring.
398
00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:37,939
CRAIG:
I, Craig...
399
00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,692
...take you, Christina, to be my wife...
400
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:44,112
...my best friend and my first mate...
401
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,613
[SNICKERING]
402
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:50,285
...through sickness and health,
clear skies and squalls.
403
00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:51,578
[GIGGLING]
404
00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:52,954
[CLAIRE CLEARS THROAT]
405
00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:54,914
I'm sorry, I have a tickle in my throat.
406
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:59,627
CHRISTINA:
I, Christina, take you, Craig...
407
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:01,880
...to be my best friend...
408
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:04,174
...and my captain...
409
00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:08,261
...to be your anchor and your sail...
410
00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:09,804
Well, this is a first.
411
00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,432
CHRISTINA:
...your starboard and your port.
412
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:13,641
[SNORTS]
413
00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:18,563
And now I pronounce you
husband and wife.
414
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,648
You may kiss the first mate.
415
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,150
[GIGGLES]
416
00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:24,319
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
417
00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:26,988
[MENDELSSOHN'S "WEDDING MARCH"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
418
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,158
[LAUGHING]
419
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:48,968
[BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC]
420
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:06,778
Sorry, just a sampler.
421
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:09,489
-Told you this would be classy, right?
-Yes, you did.
422
00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:12,867
Class, first class all the way.
You were not lying.
423
00:24:13,035 --> 00:24:14,536
Class, class, class.
424
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:21,334
They've got some kind of seasoning
on here. It must be sprinkled.
425
00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:24,796
Okay, go get us seats near,
but not too near, the bridal party.
426
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,549
I'm gonna go drop this box
of fresh Wyoming air.
427
00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:31,177
If you see crab cakes,
get some because I love them.
428
00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:33,138
Consider it done.
429
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:40,812
-Fondue set.
-Excuse me?
430
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,731
The present you're holding is
a sterling-silver fondue set.
431
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:47,068
-John Ryan.
-Claire Cleary.
432
00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:48,862
Uh, so how do you know that?
433
00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:51,322
Well, I'm a psychic.
434
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:52,991
-You're psychic?
-I am.
435
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:54,742
-Really?
-Yes.
436
00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:58,329
-What's that one?
-Knife set. German. Very nice.
437
00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:01,416
-Hm. And that?
-Cotton linens, Egyptian.
438
00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:02,625
Ooh.
439
00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:04,419
-What about that?
-Oh, I'll go all day.
440
00:25:04,587 --> 00:25:07,297
Place settings, candlesticks,
crystal stemware...
441
00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:10,717
...which they'll probably never use
because it's crystal stemware.
442
00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:13,428
-Okay, how about that?
-This?
443
00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:14,804
Uh....
444
00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:19,100
Massage oils and a book on tantra,
probably from the wacky aunt.
445
00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:22,896
Let's check.
446
00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:26,232
-Who's it from?
-Aunt Millie.
447
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,110
-Yes!
-Well, you have a gift.
448
00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:32,405
I know. Unfortunately my powers only
apply to useless consumer products.
449
00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:37,118
Well, if the police are missing a Belgian
waffle maker, you could give them a hand.
450
00:25:37,453 --> 00:25:39,204
[CHUCKLING]
451
00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,289
-Claire, we need you for pictures.
-Oh, okay.
452
00:25:41,457 --> 00:25:43,541
-Who's your friend?
-This is John Ryan.
453
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:46,628
-Hello.
-Excuse us.
454
00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:52,675
JEREMY: I might just have one more
of the samplers here.
455
00:25:52,843 --> 00:25:54,302
-Good.
-What have we got?
456
00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:56,596
Come back with some more stuff.
That's good, though.
457
00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:59,140
These bacon-wrapped scallops,
phenomenal.
458
00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,602
Really hit the spot. Unbelievable.
459
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:06,606
Oh, shit. Isn't that the girl you hooked up
with at the Andersons' wedding?
460
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:12,153
-Oh, Jesus, I'm smoked.
-No, no, don't panic.
461
00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:15,073
We're gonna do number 1 0
from the playbook. Here she comes.
462
00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:19,661
Shlomo? I thought you were renouncing
all your possessions and moving to Nepal.
463
00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:23,456
Shlomo, don't you remember me?
464
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,501
JOHN:
Oh, my God, you didn't hear.
465
00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:30,171
I'm so sorry.
Shlomo had a scuba-diving accident.
466
00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:34,092
Yeah, he came up too fast
and the oxygen deprivation....
467
00:26:34,677 --> 00:26:37,387
Poor guy. He doesn't remember anyone,
even me, his own brother.
468
00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:39,514
I'm just some nice guy
who helps him out.
469
00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:42,100
You poor thing.
470
00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:46,938
He can't hear anything either.
It's part of the accident.
471
00:26:47,106 --> 00:26:48,690
So are you here
for the Clearys' wedding?
472
00:26:49,358 --> 00:26:52,860
Oh, yes. Yes, but I have to leave.
473
00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:55,405
-I've got a flight to Madrid.
JOHN: Oh, you have to leave?
474
00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:57,365
-Yes.
JOHN: Oh, okay.
475
00:26:58,158 --> 00:26:59,951
I could hang out for a few minutes.
476
00:27:02,830 --> 00:27:05,206
Oh, actually that won't be necessary.
477
00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:08,835
Shlomo would like me to take him to the
bathroom, then get him some crab cakes.
478
00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:10,837
So, yeah, no, that's not--
479
00:27:11,005 --> 00:27:12,297
Okay, okay.
480
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:16,092
Okay, I'll take you to get crab cakes first,
then I'll take you to the bathroom.
481
00:27:17,428 --> 00:27:18,886
You know what?
482
00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:22,348
Here's my number.
If there is anything I can do to help....
483
00:27:22,516 --> 00:27:24,142
Okay.
484
00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:26,477
Okay, have a safe flight.
Don't worry about us.
485
00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:29,647
-We're gonna be fine, we're gonna make it.
-Okay.
486
00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:32,567
Doctor.
487
00:27:33,402 --> 00:27:35,153
She looked good.
I might give her a shout.
488
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:36,904
How? She thinks you're deaf.
489
00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:40,366
Everyone wants to be part of a miracle.
I turned the corner, she's a part of it.
490
00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:42,368
People helping people.
It's powerful stuff.
491
00:27:42,536 --> 00:27:45,997
God, you're a sick man.
You also may be a genius.
492
00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:47,999
Okay, so, what angle
are we gonna play here?
493
00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:50,835
I'm gonna go with the balloon-animal
display for the kids...
494
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:54,005
...and then when she comes to
check it out, guess who's a broken man.
495
00:27:54,173 --> 00:27:55,757
-Haunted past.
-Haunted past. Excellent.
496
00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:57,884
-How about you?
-I'll dance with the flower girl.
497
00:27:58,052 --> 00:28:00,011
Or be a charter member
of Oprah's Book Club.
498
00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:02,847
-It's all deadly. I'll see you in a little.
-Yes.
499
00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:06,142
Final touch. There it is.
500
00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:08,436
One happy elephant.
501
00:28:08,979 --> 00:28:11,606
All right. Who else wants something?
502
00:28:11,774 --> 00:28:13,149
I want a bicycle.
503
00:28:13,317 --> 00:28:17,111
A bicycle? Well, a bicycle,
that would take a lot of balloons...
504
00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,405
...and Uncle Jeremy's
a little tired right now...
505
00:28:19,573 --> 00:28:22,283
...so why don't we do something like,
let's say, a giraffe?
506
00:28:22,451 --> 00:28:24,535
I just want a bicycle!
507
00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:28,623
Why are you yelling at me?
508
00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:31,084
Whatever. Make me a bicycle, clown.
509
00:28:38,175 --> 00:28:41,594
I'm gonna make you a bicycle.
But I don't want to make you a bicycle.
510
00:28:41,762 --> 00:28:43,596
Shut your mouth, funny guy,
and make it.
511
00:28:46,517 --> 00:28:48,393
JOHN:
You got it.
512
00:28:49,812 --> 00:28:52,730
There you go. Yeah, you got it.
513
00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:05,952
Let's see how you do
with somebody your own age.
514
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,371
I think I'm up to the challenge.
515
00:29:08,539 --> 00:29:10,289
All right, will you save me
a dance for later?
516
00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:13,668
-Maybe.
JOHN: Ha, ha. Okay.
517
00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:19,799
[CLEARS THROAT AND CHUCKLES]
518
00:29:25,514 --> 00:29:28,015
Go on, take it, you hyena.
519
00:29:28,684 --> 00:29:30,309
Don't say thank you.
520
00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:32,353
Hi. You're good.
521
00:29:32,521 --> 00:29:35,440
That thing? I'm just warming up.
Last week I did a...
522
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:38,526
-...exact replica to scale of Wrigley Field.
-Ha, ha.
523
00:29:38,694 --> 00:29:41,028
Honest to God.
I don't have anywhere to put it.
524
00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:42,947
Okay, then I'll take a sports car.
525
00:29:43,699 --> 00:29:44,866
How about a dance?
526
00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:46,826
That's what I really wanted.
527
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,061
[MUSIC ENDS
AND PEOPLE CLAPPING]
528
00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:21,152
So how long have you
and the secretary been married?
529
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,863
-Thirty years next April.
-Oh, that's beautiful.
530
00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:26,491
Yeah, and we were faithful
for two of them.
531
00:30:28,076 --> 00:30:30,953
-Hm?
-Enjoy the party.
532
00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:37,793
-Congratulations, Mr. Secretary.
CLEARY: Thanks.
533
00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:44,592
Secretary Cleary, John Ryan.
534
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,886
-Hi, John.
-I just wanted to tell you how much...
535
00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:50,890
...I enjoyed your position paper
on economic expansion in Micronesia.
536
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,184
You've read my position paper?
537
00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:55,353
I read it while I was
sailing my boat to Bermuda.
538
00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:57,021
A sailor?
539
00:30:57,189 --> 00:30:59,941
-Good man, take a seat.
-Oh, thanks.
540
00:31:00,108 --> 00:31:02,193
You didn't happen to catch my speech...
541
00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:05,404
...on the Paraguayan debt
and money supply issue, did you?
542
00:31:05,572 --> 00:31:07,740
Are you kidding me?
I thought it was great.
543
00:31:07,908 --> 00:31:12,912
Your argument for the inverse ratio
of capitalization to debt was genius.
544
00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:16,290
Now, if we can just get Congress
not to be so shortsighted.
545
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:20,628
Yes. Well put. "Shortsighted."
546
00:31:20,796 --> 00:31:25,299
John, what do you say you and I head out
to the deck and light up a couple of cigars?
547
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:26,634
-Stogies?
-Yeah.
548
00:31:26,802 --> 00:31:28,052
Why not?
549
00:31:28,637 --> 00:31:31,806
It's just that we lost a lot
of really good men out there.
550
00:31:34,393 --> 00:31:35,977
I'm sorry.
551
00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:39,230
Gloria, I think I gotta
go get some fresh air.
552
00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:43,818
Thank you so much for the dance
and it was wonderful to meet you.
553
00:31:46,363 --> 00:31:48,614
I wish I were stronger.
554
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,498
Jeremy!
555
00:31:58,709 --> 00:32:00,710
Jeremy, wait up!
556
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:07,341
CLEARY: John, you seem like an astute man.
JOHN: Thank you.
557
00:32:07,509 --> 00:32:09,677
Maybe you can help
explain something to me.
558
00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:12,471
See that young man
out there on the dock?
559
00:32:12,973 --> 00:32:14,849
JOHN: Sure.
CLEARY: That's my son, Todd.
560
00:32:15,017 --> 00:32:18,436
Twenty-two years old,
the whole world in front of him.
561
00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:21,856
Every advantage in life,
advantages I never had.
562
00:32:22,024 --> 00:32:23,733
Well, that's not exactly true.
563
00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:27,361
He had the same advantages I had,
which is a hell of a lot of advantages.
564
00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:30,031
So here's my question:
565
00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:32,491
What's he got to be so morose about?
566
00:32:33,410 --> 00:32:35,286
Maybe he hasn't found
something to believe in.
567
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:37,496
Oh, he says he believes in art.
568
00:32:37,873 --> 00:32:39,624
But all I've seen him do...
569
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:43,878
...is dribble his own blood on a canvas
and smear it around with a stick.
570
00:32:44,046 --> 00:32:46,714
-You know, some people call that art.
-It's crap.
571
00:32:47,466 --> 00:32:51,886
What about having a public service,
an obligation to our fellow man?
572
00:32:52,763 --> 00:32:54,305
Well, maybe he's....
573
00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,849
Maybe he's just trying to find
his own way, his own path.
574
00:32:57,017 --> 00:32:59,352
I mean, you cast a pretty big shadow.
575
00:33:02,272 --> 00:33:03,814
Yeah.
576
00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:07,610
Yeah. Yeah, perhaps...
577
00:33:07,778 --> 00:33:10,321
...I should take it easier on him.
578
00:33:10,489 --> 00:33:11,530
Perhaps.
579
00:33:11,948 --> 00:33:14,909
Death, you are my bitch lover!
580
00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:18,496
CLEARY:
Todd, that's good!
581
00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:20,998
Tell that mean ocean!
582
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,710
Oh, see that?
583
00:33:25,295 --> 00:33:27,129
It's a start.
584
00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:30,675
GLORIA:
So you dove into the icy water?
585
00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:35,763
Why would a man risk his own life
for the life of a complete stranger?
586
00:33:35,931 --> 00:33:38,724
The great 1 9th century philosopher
Schopenhauer...
587
00:33:39,393 --> 00:33:44,146
...he said, at that moment, when a human
sees another human in danger...
588
00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:48,567
...that there's this breaking in
of metaphysical awareness.
589
00:33:49,319 --> 00:33:51,570
Do you know what
that awareness is, Gloria?
590
00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:54,281
-What?
-That we're all one.
591
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:59,453
That separateness is an illusion.
592
00:34:00,414 --> 00:34:02,331
And that I'm one with everyone.
593
00:34:02,499 --> 00:34:06,961
With the prime minister of England
and my cousin Harry.
594
00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:09,714
You and me.
595
00:34:10,006 --> 00:34:11,966
The fat kid from What's Happening!!
596
00:34:12,634 --> 00:34:14,343
The Olsen twins.
597
00:34:14,511 --> 00:34:16,262
Natalie Portman.
598
00:34:16,430 --> 00:34:18,931
The guy who wrote Catcher in the Rye.
599
00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:21,142
Nat King Cole.
600
00:34:21,309 --> 00:34:22,393
Carrot Top.
601
00:34:23,228 --> 00:34:24,812
Jay-Z.
602
00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:26,897
-"Weird Al" Yankovic.
-Hm.
603
00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:29,650
Harry Potter, if he existed.
604
00:34:29,943 --> 00:34:31,402
The whore on the street corner.
605
00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:33,320
Your mother.
606
00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:36,115
-We're all one.
-We are?
607
00:34:36,283 --> 00:34:38,075
That my hands are your hands.
608
00:34:38,243 --> 00:34:39,285
Oh.
609
00:34:39,453 --> 00:34:41,620
And that my cheek...
610
00:34:42,289 --> 00:34:44,498
...is really your cheek.
611
00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:46,917
And that my lips....
612
00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:48,753
Are my lips.
613
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,339
According to Mr. Schopenhauer,
they are.
614
00:34:53,175 --> 00:34:55,176
[GLORIA MOANING]
615
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:57,845
CLEARY:
Well, the guy wants to run for president.
616
00:34:58,013 --> 00:34:59,722
Oh, so you're hiding, I see.
617
00:34:59,890 --> 00:35:02,475
He thinks Moby Dick is
a venereal disease.
618
00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:04,560
Well, that's what I need. Claire.
619
00:35:04,728 --> 00:35:06,353
[JOHN LAUGHING]
620
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:08,439
Sorry to interrupt.
621
00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:11,025
-Christina wants to talk to you.
-Fun's over.
622
00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:15,196
-Yeah.
-Funny.
623
00:35:15,363 --> 00:35:17,865
CLEARY: Franklin!
-What a great guy.
624
00:35:18,784 --> 00:35:20,743
You are a big hit at this wedding.
625
00:35:20,911 --> 00:35:23,954
Well, everyone's so nice. It's easy.
626
00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:29,001
-They're all full of shit.
-What?
627
00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:31,337
Half of these people are here
because of my dad.
628
00:35:31,505 --> 00:35:35,174
They're all just, you know,
suckling at the power teat.
629
00:35:35,383 --> 00:35:38,928
No, no. Come on, they're here
because they want to believe...
630
00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:42,097
...they're in the presence of true love.
That's why people come to weddings.
631
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:45,392
Because they wanna believe in true love.
632
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:46,811
What's true love?
633
00:35:48,730 --> 00:35:52,608
True love is your soul's recognition
of its counterpoint in another.
634
00:35:57,322 --> 00:36:00,491
Well, it's a little cheesy, but I like it.
635
00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:02,243
I saw it on a bumper sticker.
636
00:36:02,410 --> 00:36:03,744
[CHUCKLES]
637
00:36:04,412 --> 00:36:06,205
-So you gonna give a toast?
-Yes.
638
00:36:06,373 --> 00:36:08,415
-You nervous?
-Mmm, little bit, um.
639
00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:11,585
-What are you gonna say?
-Would you...?
640
00:36:13,255 --> 00:36:16,507
-You keep it in your cleavage.
-Nowhere else to put it.
641
00:36:16,675 --> 00:36:20,886
Normally, I'm not very good at these things,
but I think this one's pretty good.
642
00:36:21,054 --> 00:36:23,013
"I never thought my sister
would find someone...
643
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:25,850
...who cared about what other people
thought as much as she did...
644
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,269
-...until I met Craig"?
-Yes.
645
00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:30,688
That's funny.
That's funny because it's true.
646
00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:32,356
You know, people like funny.
647
00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:35,359
I know. But the whole
funny-because-it's-true bit...
648
00:36:35,527 --> 00:36:37,903
...only works if the truth
is a small thing.
649
00:36:38,071 --> 00:36:41,115
Like, "Everyone knows
Jennifer likes to shop, ha, ha, ha."
650
00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:43,617
You're better off going
with something from the heart.
651
00:36:43,785 --> 00:36:45,786
I think that people are gonna like this.
652
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:47,621
I think you're gonna hear crickets.
653
00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:49,623
-I think you're wrong.
-Sounds of silence.
654
00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:52,167
-Nope. Mm-mm.
-Okay, go walk the plank.
655
00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:54,253
-I'm sticking to it.
-Go ahead.
656
00:36:54,421 --> 00:36:57,798
Hey, meet me at the back of the room.
I'll be waiting to say, "I told you so."
657
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,304
Good luck.
658
00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:09,226
And so, after my ninth stint
in rehab, um, Craig....
659
00:37:09,394 --> 00:37:11,061
Oh, Craig.
660
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:15,190
Craig was the only one
who still believed in me.
661
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,276
Been sober now for eight months.
662
00:37:17,444 --> 00:37:18,736
[CHUCKLING]
663
00:37:18,904 --> 00:37:23,240
And, uh, I thank God every day...
664
00:37:23,408 --> 00:37:26,827
...for sending me a friend like Craig.
665
00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:28,871
I love you, man.
666
00:37:29,039 --> 00:37:31,040
[PEOPLE CLAPPING]
667
00:37:40,008 --> 00:37:41,467
[CLAIRE CLEARS THROAT]
668
00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:47,264
I never thought my sister
would find someone who cared about...
669
00:37:47,432 --> 00:37:50,684
...what other people thought
as much as she did until I met Craig.
670
00:37:56,816 --> 00:37:58,150
Uh....
671
00:37:58,318 --> 00:38:01,695
As you all know,
my sister and Craig are both lawyers...
672
00:38:01,863 --> 00:38:04,490
...at big law firms in New York.
673
00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:07,868
But that's not the only thing
they have in common. Um....
674
00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:10,704
They both like the color green...
675
00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:14,291
...like Craig's eyes and money.
676
00:38:18,964 --> 00:38:20,881
Um, heh....
677
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,813
You know, someone once told me that...
678
00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:38,107
...true love is...
679
00:38:38,274 --> 00:38:41,318
...the soul's recognition
of its counterpoint in another.
680
00:38:43,363 --> 00:38:46,907
And I think that
that's a very rare thing in this world.
681
00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:51,495
And I think it's something to be valued.
682
00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:55,124
And I'm just really happy
that my big sister's found it.
683
00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:57,835
Congratulations, Chris.
684
00:38:58,086 --> 00:38:59,586
[MOUTHING]
Thank you.
685
00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:01,714
[PEOPLE CLAPPING]
686
00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:12,266
Ah!
687
00:39:12,434 --> 00:39:15,519
-That was amazing!
-It was really great.
688
00:39:15,812 --> 00:39:19,314
We should probably head back
so they're not looking for us.
689
00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:22,276
I always knew my first time
would be on a beach.
690
00:39:23,653 --> 00:39:25,612
First time?
691
00:39:28,658 --> 00:39:30,034
You were a virgin?
692
00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:31,744
-Mm-hm.
-Wow.
693
00:39:31,911 --> 00:39:35,372
Jeremy, we're gonna
be so happy together.
694
00:39:36,416 --> 00:39:37,583
I love you.
695
00:39:37,751 --> 00:39:39,752
-I'm sorry?
-I love you.
696
00:39:49,679 --> 00:39:51,597
CLAIRE: You totally saved me.
-No.
697
00:39:51,765 --> 00:39:54,141
-Yes.
-Claire, come on. Come on.
698
00:39:55,852 --> 00:39:58,187
Oh, baby, you were awesome.
699
00:39:58,354 --> 00:39:59,980
-No.
-Listen to me, awesome.
700
00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:01,565
Okay.
701
00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:04,401
John, this is my boyfriend, Sack.
702
00:40:04,569 --> 00:40:06,612
-Hey, fella.
-How you doing?
703
00:40:06,780 --> 00:40:08,655
-Listen, we gotta go meet the Schreibers.
-Okay.
704
00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:10,074
It was great to meet you.
705
00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:11,658
[WHISPERING]
Thank you.
706
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:15,788
Boom, I gotcha.
707
00:40:15,955 --> 00:40:16,997
[LAUGHING]
708
00:40:17,165 --> 00:40:20,000
-How you doing?
-Oh, great. Good to see you.
709
00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:22,002
I gotta get out of here, pronto.
710
00:40:22,170 --> 00:40:24,588
-I got a Stage 5 clinger.
-No, no, I need more time.
711
00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:28,550
Did you hear what I just said to you?
Stage 5? Virgin? Clinger?
712
00:40:28,718 --> 00:40:31,887
Let's go, I'm gonna start the car.
I'm serious, let's go.
713
00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:35,641
I don't think you appreciate the urgency.
714
00:40:35,809 --> 00:40:38,393
Not only is she a virgin,
she's totally off the reservation.
715
00:40:38,561 --> 00:40:40,771
I'm terrified of this broad.
716
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:44,274
-There you are.
-Hey, Gloria, wow.
717
00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,985
What a coincidence, I was just singing
your praises. This is John Ryan.
718
00:40:47,153 --> 00:40:48,403
GLORIA: Oh, hi.
-Yeah.
719
00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:51,698
My family and a few friends, we're all
going back to our place on the shore...
720
00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:53,951
...and it would be so great
if you guys came.
721
00:40:54,119 --> 00:40:55,202
Really?
722
00:40:55,370 --> 00:40:56,787
-Sounds sort of wonderful.
-I am--
723
00:40:56,955 --> 00:40:58,705
Well, it does, it sounds very nice.
724
00:40:58,873 --> 00:41:00,707
And I'm flattered that you would
think of me...
725
00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:02,876
...to include me in something like that.
Thank you.
726
00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:06,547
It kills me however to have to tell you
I'm sorry, I just--
727
00:41:06,714 --> 00:41:08,715
-Timing's no good. I can't make it.
-Why?
728
00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:11,510
-It's gonna be so much fun.
-It's gonna be so much fun.
729
00:41:11,678 --> 00:41:13,846
I'm sure it will be fun
for the people that are going.
730
00:41:14,013 --> 00:41:17,641
I unfortunately can't go. I don't have--
I only have this monkey suit.
731
00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:20,185
-I don't have any clothes.
-No, we have everything you need.
732
00:41:20,353 --> 00:41:23,063
-Problem solved. Problem solved.
-The problem's not solved.
733
00:41:23,231 --> 00:41:25,399
-Deal us in.
-Oh, cool, cool, cool.
734
00:41:25,567 --> 00:41:27,192
I'm gonna run and find my dad.
735
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:28,819
Don't ask your dad.
Don't ask your--
736
00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:31,905
-The train's going. We gotta get on.
-Why not just feed me to the lions?
737
00:41:32,073 --> 00:41:34,074
-What?
-Step on my head when I'm drowning.
738
00:41:34,242 --> 00:41:35,951
-What?
-What do you mean, what?
739
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,828
John, this is completely
against the rules.
740
00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:40,497
You have a wedding and a reception
to seal the deal. Period.
741
00:41:40,665 --> 00:41:42,416
-There's no overtime. No.
-Oh, no overtime?
742
00:41:42,584 --> 00:41:44,209
What about the Chang wedding
three years ago?
743
00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:46,962
-Oh, that's bullshit.
-Yeah, thought I forgot about that.
744
00:41:47,130 --> 00:41:49,506
Two a.m., you dragged me 50 miles
to watch you and some chick...
745
00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:52,384
...play mahjong with her grandmother
at a retirement home.
746
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,303
-Yeah, completely different situation.
-How?
747
00:41:54,470 --> 00:41:57,431
What do you mean, how?
She was a very, very family-oriented girl.
748
00:41:57,599 --> 00:41:59,266
She was very into her grandmother.
749
00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:01,476
-Give me a break.
-That was my first Asian!
750
00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:05,439
-You better lock it up.
-You better lock it up.
751
00:42:05,607 --> 00:42:08,609
-No, you lock it up. Lock it up.
-You lock it up. Lock it up.
752
00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:12,279
Please. It would mean
so much to me. Please.
753
00:42:12,447 --> 00:42:14,031
Look at the way he's looking at me.
754
00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,283
He doesn't like me.
He's the secretary of the treasury.
755
00:42:16,451 --> 00:42:18,702
To be honest with you,
my taxes aren't exactly in line.
756
00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:21,455
-You're being paranoid.
-He's threatened by the way I dance.
757
00:42:21,623 --> 00:42:23,957
Damn it. Why'd I have to
go showing off like that?
758
00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:26,293
Now I'm all over his radar. Stupid.
759
00:42:26,461 --> 00:42:27,878
You're not that good a dancer.
760
00:42:28,046 --> 00:42:30,631
Oh, please. You and I both know
I'm a phenomenal dancer.
761
00:42:30,798 --> 00:42:33,342
Now I know you're lying.
You'll do anything to get me to go...
762
00:42:33,509 --> 00:42:36,053
...even if I have to walk
right into the lion's den.
763
00:42:36,221 --> 00:42:37,971
Gloria, come on!
764
00:42:38,139 --> 00:42:40,849
You know I'm not gonna give in
to this kind of behavior.
765
00:42:41,017 --> 00:42:43,143
She's like a kid at Toys "R" Us.
I can't be around it.
766
00:42:43,311 --> 00:42:45,354
Oh, get off your high horse.
Stop judging people.
767
00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:47,522
You take off the white wig
and you stop judging me.
768
00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:49,858
I don't want to be around
someone who's a nut job.
769
00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:52,569
-I need alone time with her.
-You wanna hang out with Claire...
770
00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:55,322
...the boyfriend and Sybil,
by all means. I'm not going.
771
00:42:55,490 --> 00:42:57,741
I'll lay it out for you
in chapter and verse: You're going.
772
00:42:57,909 --> 00:43:01,328
Let me break it down for you,
I'll hold your hand like a small child:
773
00:43:01,496 --> 00:43:02,537
-I'm not going.
-You are.
774
00:43:02,705 --> 00:43:04,915
-You can go if you want.
-You're gonna be a team player.
775
00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:07,167
JEREMY: No, I'm not.
-He'd love you to come.
776
00:43:07,335 --> 00:43:10,837
-Yes. Yes! Baba ganoush!
-Well--
777
00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:12,506
GLORIA:
Baba ganou!
778
00:43:25,853 --> 00:43:29,523
SACK:
Okay, okay. Home sweet home.
779
00:43:29,691 --> 00:43:32,192
KATHLEEN:
Thank you, Sack. Thank you.
780
00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:34,945
JOHN: You okay?
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
781
00:43:35,113 --> 00:43:37,364
JOHN:
Come here, come here.
782
00:43:37,532 --> 00:43:41,201
Are you okay? I'm gonna need 1 00 percent
of Jeremy and you're looking a little weird.
783
00:43:41,369 --> 00:43:44,955
She took me below deck for 45 minutes.
I don't have any bodily fluids left in me.
784
00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:47,040
Gentlemen, everything okay?
785
00:43:47,208 --> 00:43:48,667
-Great. Yep.
SACK: Great?
786
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:52,379
You know, we were thinking about
a little game of touch football, you know?
787
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,299
-Yeah?
-Cleary family tradition.
788
00:43:55,466 --> 00:43:56,842
A little pigskin, why not?
789
00:43:57,010 --> 00:43:58,927
CLEARY: Great.
-Don't forget to stretch, guys.
790
00:43:59,095 --> 00:44:01,054
We're gonna be on the field in 1 0.
791
00:44:01,347 --> 00:44:03,181
CLAIRE:
I'm open, I'm open!
792
00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:09,896
SACK:
There you go. Nice, nice, nice.
793
00:44:10,064 --> 00:44:11,106
There you go.
794
00:44:31,002 --> 00:44:33,045
Clothes fit.
795
00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:36,465
I'm not even gonna say it,
but you know I'm upset.
796
00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:39,509
I know you are.
I think you look good.
797
00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:42,596
You know I don't look good.
798
00:44:43,639 --> 00:44:46,641
GLORIA:
Hey, honey! I'm over here!
799
00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:49,353
Are you ready?
Are you ready for some football?
800
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,438
You want the noise brought on you?
Here it comes.
801
00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:53,607
-The what?
MAN: The noise brought on you.
802
00:44:53,775 --> 00:44:55,609
-Here it comes.
-Just hike the ball, nut job.
803
00:44:55,777 --> 00:45:00,072
Ready! Set! Hut! Hut! Hike!
804
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:02,699
One Mississippi, two Mississippi,
three Mississippi.
805
00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:04,743
CLAIRE:
Over here! Me, me, me!
806
00:45:06,079 --> 00:45:07,537
[GRUNTING]
807
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:08,789
MAN:
Yes!
808
00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:10,123
-Wow.
-Whoo!
809
00:45:10,291 --> 00:45:12,417
Yes! Crab cakes and football!
810
00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:14,378
-That's what Maryland does!
CLEARY: Nice one.
811
00:45:15,088 --> 00:45:16,296
[GRUNTS]
812
00:45:16,964 --> 00:45:18,173
-A little out of shape?
-Yeah.
813
00:45:18,341 --> 00:45:19,841
[CHUCKLES]
814
00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:21,676
-Way to bring it.
SACK: Anticipate that rush.
815
00:45:21,844 --> 00:45:23,261
-I saw you had it.
-Hey, shut up!
816
00:45:23,429 --> 00:45:25,430
-You gotta anticipate that rush.
-Of course I do.
817
00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:27,724
SACK: You did a great job.
JEREMY: What happened, Toast?
818
00:45:27,892 --> 00:45:29,476
I think he's on steroids.
819
00:45:29,644 --> 00:45:31,770
It was like trying to cover
a fucking racehorse.
820
00:45:31,938 --> 00:45:33,021
[GRUNTING]
821
00:45:33,189 --> 00:45:36,233
-Get it up! Get it up!
-Well, don't worry about it.
822
00:45:36,401 --> 00:45:40,112
-We'll burn them with the post.
-No, no. No, I got a better idea.
823
00:45:40,279 --> 00:45:42,572
Look, I want you to fake the post...
824
00:45:42,740 --> 00:45:45,325
...throw an interception to Claire,
get her to feel good.
825
00:45:45,493 --> 00:45:47,452
Gets her involved.
You think you can do that?
826
00:45:47,620 --> 00:45:50,705
John, I was first team, all-state.
I can put the ball wherever I want to.
827
00:45:50,873 --> 00:45:55,293
I'll make it rain out here.
All right, guys, bring it in. Blue 1 7!
828
00:45:56,212 --> 00:45:58,672
Blue 1 7! Red 7!
829
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,341
-Oh, you're gonna cover me?
-Like white on rice.
830
00:46:01,509 --> 00:46:04,344
All right, I like my odds here.
I'm gonna give you a little warning:
831
00:46:04,512 --> 00:46:06,263
-I'm going downtown.
-Hot route!
832
00:46:06,431 --> 00:46:08,640
Red 7, Red 7, Red 7!
833
00:46:08,808 --> 00:46:11,309
Look for me in the end zone,
I'll be the guy holding the ball.
834
00:46:11,477 --> 00:46:13,186
-John! Red 7!
-What?
835
00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:16,106
-I don't know what "Red 7" means.
-Hot route!
836
00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:17,691
I don't-- What is "hot route"?
837
00:46:18,192 --> 00:46:20,944
Will you just go stand
on the other side, please?
838
00:46:21,112 --> 00:46:22,612
CLAIRE:
Are you running away from me?
839
00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:25,866
JOHN: No. I'm just getting over here.
CLAIRE: You scared?
840
00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:27,951
-Down!
-Come on.
841
00:46:28,119 --> 00:46:32,372
Ready, down, set!
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hike!
842
00:46:33,875 --> 00:46:35,167
GLORIA:
Go, Jeremy!
843
00:46:35,334 --> 00:46:37,669
Hey, yo! Hit me! Hit me!
844
00:46:39,005 --> 00:46:40,046
Booyah!
845
00:46:40,214 --> 00:46:42,716
That's what we call a "Sack lunch"!
Yum, yum, yum, yum.
846
00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:45,510
Ow, burn.
847
00:46:46,345 --> 00:46:47,929
[SCREAMING]
848
00:46:48,181 --> 00:46:49,723
Big tree fall hard, right?
849
00:46:49,891 --> 00:46:52,726
How many fingers I got up?
Come on, Pepe, how many fingers I got up?
850
00:46:52,894 --> 00:46:55,020
Oh, come on, I got four.
Okay, here's five.
851
00:46:55,188 --> 00:46:58,899
Man down! We got a man down.
You okay?
852
00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:01,026
Hey, is your brother okay?
853
00:47:01,194 --> 00:47:03,653
-What? Ah, he's fine.
-I can't breathe.
854
00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:05,572
SACK: What's that?
-I can't breathe.
855
00:47:05,740 --> 00:47:08,658
No, no, no, I think he's really hurt.
856
00:47:08,826 --> 00:47:11,453
Well, serves him right after that throw.
857
00:47:11,621 --> 00:47:13,413
Hey. Baba ganoush.
858
00:47:13,581 --> 00:47:15,790
I don't know what
got into me, secretary, I just--
859
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:19,836
I do. Five generations
of Lodge family breeding.
860
00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:21,963
[GROWLING AND CHUCKLING]
861
00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:25,217
-Your father used to pull the same stunt...
-I can't breathe.
862
00:47:25,384 --> 00:47:27,385
-...when we were your age.
-I can't breathe.
863
00:47:27,553 --> 00:47:28,762
You okay?
864
00:47:28,930 --> 00:47:31,056
[WHISPERING]
Great. You threw it perfectly.
865
00:47:31,224 --> 00:47:33,099
Come on, get up.
866
00:47:33,267 --> 00:47:35,310
-Don't oversell it.
-I'm not selling anything.
867
00:47:35,478 --> 00:47:39,231
Come on, stop milking it.
You make us look like a bunch of pussies.
868
00:47:39,398 --> 00:47:41,608
Jeremy. Sit this play out.
869
00:47:42,026 --> 00:47:44,152
Todd, come on in.
870
00:47:45,029 --> 00:47:46,613
You must be joking.
871
00:47:46,781 --> 00:47:50,325
It wouldn't kill you to play
some competitive sports...
872
00:47:50,493 --> 00:47:51,910
...once in a while, would it?
873
00:47:52,078 --> 00:47:53,787
Oh, would that make you love me?
874
00:47:53,955 --> 00:47:55,705
Pfft. Jesus.
875
00:47:56,499 --> 00:47:59,292
Hey, Jeremy, Red Moon Dog 7-11.
876
00:47:59,460 --> 00:48:01,294
Forty-two, 30-teen.
877
00:48:01,462 --> 00:48:03,171
Hut one! Hut two!
878
00:48:03,339 --> 00:48:04,464
Blitz!
879
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:06,925
-Oh! Ah!
-Jeremy!
880
00:48:07,301 --> 00:48:09,052
[GRUNTING]
881
00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:10,637
[GASPING]
882
00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:12,347
-That looked like it hurt.
-Ooh.
883
00:48:12,515 --> 00:48:14,099
-I got you.
JEREMY: No, you didn't.
884
00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:16,309
-You're cheating.
-You're cheating.
885
00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:19,729
Oh, my God.
Your brother, he's down again.
886
00:48:22,358 --> 00:48:24,943
What is his deal?
887
00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:27,279
I don't know what's getting
into me today, guys.
888
00:48:27,446 --> 00:48:31,366
Nature versus nurture, Lodge.
Nature always wins.
889
00:48:31,534 --> 00:48:33,201
What are you doing?
It's a game of touch.
890
00:48:33,369 --> 00:48:35,287
Every time I look over,
you're on your ass again.
891
00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:37,664
If I had any air in my lungs,
I'd scream at you.
892
00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:39,124
Oh, now you're gonna blame me?
893
00:48:39,292 --> 00:48:41,918
Because you're not athletic enough
to stay on your two feet?
894
00:48:42,086 --> 00:48:43,169
I hate you.
895
00:48:43,337 --> 00:48:44,629
Let's take a daiquiri time-out.
896
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:46,256
-Daiquiris.
-Daiquiris.
897
00:48:48,175 --> 00:48:49,175
Oh.
898
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:51,845
Sweetheart, why don't you take him
into the house and fix him up?
899
00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:53,805
-Sure, Mom.
-No, don't baby him.
900
00:48:53,973 --> 00:48:55,599
It just makes it worse.
901
00:48:56,475 --> 00:48:57,767
JEREMY:
Oh, my back hurts.
902
00:48:57,935 --> 00:49:00,270
Oh, great. Game's over. Satisfied?
903
00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,148
You got everyone on you now.
Get all the attention.
904
00:49:03,316 --> 00:49:04,524
GLORIA:
Come on, baby.
905
00:49:06,027 --> 00:49:07,694
It's hot out here.
906
00:49:07,862 --> 00:49:09,446
-Yeah, it is.
-Yeah.
907
00:49:09,614 --> 00:49:12,115
You should have played
in your underwear.
908
00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:15,368
I'll get you a drink.
909
00:49:20,207 --> 00:49:23,209
Oh, Jesus Christ. Hss, it burns.
910
00:49:23,377 --> 00:49:25,879
-It stings. Oh, Jesus.
GLORIA: Poor baby.
911
00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:27,505
You want me to blow on it?
912
00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:29,633
No. No, no, no.
913
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,843
No, I don't need any blowing.
I'm good. Thank you.
914
00:49:32,011 --> 00:49:33,970
Jeremy, I'm not wearing any panties.
915
00:49:35,181 --> 00:49:36,765
-That's right.
-Oh. Yeah--
916
00:49:36,932 --> 00:49:38,892
Okay. That's fun. That's nice.
917
00:49:39,060 --> 00:49:40,727
Okay. Oh, oh, yeah.
918
00:49:40,895 --> 00:49:42,854
Oh, yeah, that's fun. Yeah, that's fun.
919
00:49:43,022 --> 00:49:45,231
Okay, Gloria. You need to stop.
Yeah, that's fun.
920
00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:47,233
That's fun. That's fun.
921
00:49:47,401 --> 00:49:48,401
[CLEARS THROAT]
922
00:49:50,196 --> 00:49:53,406
Don't you worry, Gloria.
Mum's the word.
923
00:49:53,574 --> 00:49:54,991
Thank you, Randolph.
924
00:49:56,160 --> 00:50:00,038
-A little more discreet, though, okay?
GLORIA: Hee, hee.
925
00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:05,960
Jesus Christ.
926
00:50:06,128 --> 00:50:08,546
Don't worry, he won't say anything.
927
00:50:09,423 --> 00:50:12,092
I'm confused. Like eight hours ago
you were a shy little virgin...
928
00:50:12,259 --> 00:50:15,220
...and now you're not wearing any panties.
I'm trying to catch up with you.
929
00:50:15,388 --> 00:50:16,930
You do that to me. Ooh.
930
00:50:17,098 --> 00:50:18,765
-Where's my little friend?
-No, no, no.
931
00:50:18,933 --> 00:50:20,433
-Where's my little friend?
-He's tired.
932
00:50:20,601 --> 00:50:22,435
He's in time-out. He's in time-out.
933
00:50:22,603 --> 00:50:26,272
Gloria, please. I'm exhausted.
I'm exhausted. I've had a very long day.
934
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:30,110
I had your sister's boyfriend dry-hump me
up and down the field all afternoon.
935
00:50:30,277 --> 00:50:34,948
My leg's cut and bleeding.
I'm just-- I'm not really in the mood for this.
936
00:50:35,408 --> 00:50:37,367
-Fine!
-Ow, Jesus Christ!
937
00:50:37,535 --> 00:50:39,994
My father warned me about
people like you, Jeremy.
938
00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:43,790
-I'm just another notch on your belt.
-It's not like that. It's not like that.
939
00:50:43,958 --> 00:50:46,292
Really? Then what's it like, Jeremy, huh?
940
00:50:46,460 --> 00:50:47,502
-Ow! Ow!
-Huh?
941
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:48,795
No! Wait! Wait!
942
00:50:48,963 --> 00:50:51,339
It's just that I'm feeling very strongly...
943
00:50:51,507 --> 00:50:55,468
...that we're only expressing ourselves
in a physical, sexual-specifically way.
944
00:50:55,636 --> 00:50:57,804
That's it! Wait!
945
00:50:57,972 --> 00:51:01,766
And I'd like to play some catch-up
on finding out who's inside here.
946
00:51:03,811 --> 00:51:05,645
Okay?
947
00:51:06,731 --> 00:51:08,314
-Jeremy.
-Heh, heh.
948
00:51:08,482 --> 00:51:11,651
-Jeremy, you're amazing.
-Oh, God, I think you're amazing.
949
00:51:11,819 --> 00:51:15,029
-Oh, my God, don't ever leave me. Good.
-Ever.
950
00:51:15,197 --> 00:51:17,073
[IN BABY VOICE]
Because I'd find you.
951
00:51:17,241 --> 00:51:18,825
[CACKLING]
952
00:51:19,744 --> 00:51:21,369
Yeah.
953
00:51:21,537 --> 00:51:24,539
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Of course, like all kids,
I had imaginary friends, but not just one.
954
00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:27,167
I had hundreds, and all of them
from different backgrounds...
955
00:51:27,334 --> 00:51:30,044
...who spoke different languages.
One of them, his name was Caleb...
956
00:51:30,212 --> 00:51:33,506
...he spoke a magical language
that only I could understand.
957
00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:35,675
[GIBBERING]
958
00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:37,719
[CLEARY GIBBERING]
959
00:51:37,887 --> 00:51:39,220
Get him all patched up?
960
00:51:39,388 --> 00:51:41,639
I sure did, Daddy.
961
00:51:42,475 --> 00:51:44,017
Gloria bug.
962
00:51:44,185 --> 00:51:46,227
You go change for dinner.
963
00:51:46,395 --> 00:51:48,354
Okay.
964
00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:52,984
Phew.
965
00:51:53,152 --> 00:51:56,613
You know, she's not just
another notch on the old belt.
966
00:51:59,492 --> 00:52:02,118
I don't even wear a belt. Beltless.
967
00:52:03,204 --> 00:52:05,038
I'm a very powerful man.
968
00:52:06,165 --> 00:52:07,207
Yes, you are.
969
00:52:11,378 --> 00:52:12,754
See you for dinner.
970
00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:17,884
SACK: So I am president of the
Environment Defense League.
971
00:52:18,052 --> 00:52:20,929
And I pick up this little sea otter...
972
00:52:21,096 --> 00:52:23,723
...and wipe off the oil
from the tanker spill.
973
00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:26,643
You gotta step this up already.
I'm gonna give you the damn eye drops.
974
00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,686
No, I don't want them. It's too hardcore.
975
00:52:28,854 --> 00:52:30,647
JEREMY: Do you want to be alone with her?
JOHN: Yes.
976
00:52:30,815 --> 00:52:34,400
Put these in his drink and he'll be going
down on a toilet seat for the next 24 hours.
977
00:52:34,568 --> 00:52:39,739
I don't wanna do it. I can beat this guy.
Let's be honorable for once.
978
00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:40,949
[WHIMPERING]
979
00:52:41,116 --> 00:52:42,158
And the whiskers.
980
00:52:42,326 --> 00:52:44,327
[CONTINUES WHIMPERING]
981
00:52:44,745 --> 00:52:46,454
And the oil's--
The oil's flapping, he goes:
982
00:52:46,622 --> 00:52:48,081
[COUGHING AND WHIMPERING]
983
00:52:48,457 --> 00:52:50,917
-Give me the eye drops.
-Thank you.
984
00:52:55,130 --> 00:52:56,881
Perfect.
985
00:52:57,049 --> 00:52:59,008
[CHATTERING]
986
00:53:04,765 --> 00:53:06,099
[CLINKING ON GLASS]
987
00:53:07,226 --> 00:53:09,352
Let us bow our heads in prayer.
988
00:53:15,276 --> 00:53:16,401
Heavenly Father...
989
00:53:17,570 --> 00:53:20,780
...we thank you for thy bounty
on this table...
990
00:53:20,948 --> 00:53:23,616
...and ask that you bless
the entire Cleary family...
991
00:53:23,784 --> 00:53:26,119
...and all the friends here assembled.
992
00:53:26,287 --> 00:53:28,705
-Amen.
-Amen.
993
00:53:31,667 --> 00:53:33,918
Oh, these scallops look fantastic.
994
00:53:34,086 --> 00:53:37,964
I bought them from an organic scallop farm
right off the coast of Nattachoke.
995
00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:42,093
CLAIRE: Actually, Sack got the governor
to subsidize part of the project.
996
00:53:42,261 --> 00:53:44,971
And now it's the state's only
self-sustaining scallop farm.
997
00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:47,974
Say that five times fast.
You can't do it. Self-sustaining--
998
00:53:48,142 --> 00:53:49,309
[CHUCKLING]
999
00:53:49,476 --> 00:53:51,686
JEREMY: They look terrific.
Maybe I'll actually try some...
1000
00:53:51,896 --> 00:53:55,148
...when I get the sensation back in my face.
From the football game.
1001
00:53:55,316 --> 00:53:59,611
Again, Jeremy, I'm sorry. You know,
I have this damn competitive streak, um.
1002
00:53:59,778 --> 00:54:02,322
-I'm seeing a Buddhist about it.
-Not just any Buddhist.
1003
00:54:02,489 --> 00:54:05,158
His Holiness, the Dalai Lama.
He's a good friend.
1004
00:54:05,326 --> 00:54:07,911
Stop traffic.
Because when I go back to town...
1005
00:54:08,078 --> 00:54:10,914
...I'm actually gonna see an orthopedist
about what you did to my back.
1006
00:54:11,081 --> 00:54:13,333
Not just any orthopedist.
I'm gonna see a Dr. Epstein--
1007
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:17,003
Hey, Sack, how long have you
and Claire been seeing each other?
1008
00:54:17,171 --> 00:54:20,048
Claire and I? What's it been, sweetheart?
A couple years?
1009
00:54:20,841 --> 00:54:22,008
Three and a half.
1010
00:54:22,176 --> 00:54:25,970
Yeah, actually, we started dating
while we were doing Habitat for Humanity.
1011
00:54:26,138 --> 00:54:27,180
Sure.
1012
00:54:27,348 --> 00:54:30,350
Pretty soon we'll be getting married.
1013
00:54:31,143 --> 00:54:32,352
Yep.
1014
00:54:32,519 --> 00:54:35,021
Well, not too soon, um....
1015
00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:38,274
We still have a lot of things
that we want to accomplish.
1016
00:54:38,442 --> 00:54:41,277
Anyway, once Claire
and Sack tie the knot...
1017
00:54:41,445 --> 00:54:44,697
...two of the great American families,
the Clearys and the Lodges...
1018
00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:46,282
-...will finally unite.
-Hear, hear.
1019
00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:48,701
And then, of course,
you can challenge the Klingons...
1020
00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:50,703
...for interstellar domination, right?
1021
00:54:50,871 --> 00:54:52,038
[LAUGHING]
1022
00:54:54,708 --> 00:54:57,877
Jeremy. I saw you on the dance floor.
1023
00:55:02,675 --> 00:55:04,092
You move pretty good.
1024
00:55:04,259 --> 00:55:06,094
Oh, thanks a lot.
1025
00:55:06,261 --> 00:55:08,221
I really just got lucky.
1026
00:55:08,389 --> 00:55:10,431
I was more in the zone
than anything else.
1027
00:55:10,599 --> 00:55:12,684
It was the booze dancing, heh, heh.
1028
00:55:12,851 --> 00:55:14,852
[LAUGHING]
1029
00:55:15,104 --> 00:55:17,897
Sorry, guys, I forgot.
How are you connected to the family again?
1030
00:55:18,065 --> 00:55:19,565
Uncle Ned's kids.
1031
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:22,694
You know, Uncle Ned?
1032
00:55:22,861 --> 00:55:25,863
Aunt Liz's brother. Ned and Liz.
1033
00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:30,368
SACK: Hm. No, I don't know.
CLEARY: So, Jeremy...
1034
00:55:30,536 --> 00:55:32,912
...you and your brother are
venture capitalists.
1035
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,540
-That's right.
-That's great.
1036
00:55:35,708 --> 00:55:39,127
Venture capitalist.
The backbone of the system.
1037
00:55:39,294 --> 00:55:41,087
-It's the new pioneer.
O'NEIL: New pioneer.
1038
00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:42,755
So is it just about the money?
1039
00:55:43,424 --> 00:55:46,217
No, no, it's about...
1040
00:55:46,385 --> 00:55:49,721
...investing in companies that are
ethically and morally defensible.
1041
00:55:49,888 --> 00:55:53,224
-Like what? Give me an example.
-Like what? Well, there's the company...
1042
00:55:53,392 --> 00:55:58,604
...that we have where we're taking
the fur or the wool from sheep...
1043
00:55:58,772 --> 00:56:02,442
...and we turn it into thread
for homeless people to sew.
1044
00:56:02,609 --> 00:56:06,821
And then they make it into cloth,
which they in turn sew...
1045
00:56:06,989 --> 00:56:10,825
...then make little shirts and pants...
1046
00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:14,495
...for other homeless people to sell.
It's a pretty good deal.
1047
00:56:14,663 --> 00:56:16,330
-People helping people.
JOHN: Yeah.
1048
00:56:16,498 --> 00:56:18,583
That's very admirable.
1049
00:56:18,751 --> 00:56:21,627
Thank you. Although don't make me out
to be a saint just yet.
1050
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:23,546
We do turn a small profit.
1051
00:56:23,714 --> 00:56:29,469
After all, someone has to pay for
the lap dances for the big guy here.
1052
00:56:29,636 --> 00:56:33,514
He's joking around.
It feels so good when he jokes.
1053
00:56:33,682 --> 00:56:35,141
What's this company called?
1054
00:56:35,309 --> 00:56:38,144
-Holy sh--
-Shirts & Pants. Holy Shirts & Pants.
1055
00:56:38,312 --> 00:56:40,063
It's a little corny and obvious...
1056
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,648
...but what do you get
out of being subtle, right?
1057
00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:45,151
Well, that's a hell of a good project.
1058
00:56:45,319 --> 00:56:47,653
I'm gonna mention something
to the commerce secretary.
1059
00:56:47,821 --> 00:56:49,989
That would be terrific.
That would be great, huh?
1060
00:56:50,157 --> 00:56:51,657
Terrific, it was terrific.
1061
00:56:52,367 --> 00:56:55,369
Isn't my Willy doing a wonderful job
there in Washington?
1062
00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:59,290
-Mommy.
-You know, Willy's father, my husband...
1063
00:56:59,458 --> 00:57:00,792
[GURGLING]
1064
00:57:00,959 --> 00:57:04,378
...was the secretary of state
for President Franklin Roosevelt.
1065
00:57:05,089 --> 00:57:07,590
That must have been so thrilling. FDR.
1066
00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:10,551
My gosh, FDR was a wonderful President.
1067
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,512
MARY:
He was a doll.
1068
00:57:12,679 --> 00:57:15,348
The wife, though, Eleanor?
1069
00:57:15,516 --> 00:57:17,517
-Big dyke.
CLAIRE: Oh, Lord.
1070
00:57:17,684 --> 00:57:20,228
Huge dyke. A real rug muncher.
1071
00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:24,690
Looked like a big lesbian mule.
1072
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:29,862
Grandma, you can't talk
like that, okay? It's not right.
1073
00:57:30,030 --> 00:57:31,989
Somebody get me another Scotch
for chrissakes.
1074
00:57:32,157 --> 00:57:33,866
I think I'm gonna go to bed.
1075
00:57:34,034 --> 00:57:36,119
CLAIRE: Honey, are you okay?
SACK: Oh, yeah.
1076
00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:38,454
I'm fine.
You know, I'm just a little tired. Thanks.
1077
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:40,832
-Okay.
-You all right?
1078
00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:43,501
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
1079
00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:47,839
What an athlete.
A tremendous competitor.
1080
00:57:48,006 --> 00:57:50,341
I know.
1081
00:57:50,509 --> 00:57:53,386
Todd, I noticed that you haven't even
touched your food yet.
1082
00:57:53,554 --> 00:57:56,180
-I don't eat meat or fish.
-He's a homo.
1083
00:57:56,348 --> 00:57:57,849
[LAUGHING]
1084
00:57:58,058 --> 00:58:00,893
CLEARY:
Mommy, let's not go there again.
1085
00:58:01,061 --> 00:58:04,230
Actually, Todd is an amazing painter.
1086
00:58:04,398 --> 00:58:06,566
He's going to the Rhode Island
School of Design.
1087
00:58:06,733 --> 00:58:09,360
JOHN: Oh, that's a great school.
Congratulations, Todd.
1088
00:58:09,528 --> 00:58:11,404
That's really impressive. RISD.
1089
00:58:11,572 --> 00:58:14,782
Yeah, Dad used to think
I'd be a political liability...
1090
00:58:14,950 --> 00:58:17,285
...you know, in case
he ever ran for president.
1091
00:58:17,452 --> 00:58:20,580
Now, Todd. Actually, truth be told...
1092
00:58:20,747 --> 00:58:23,749
...polling shows a majority
of the American people...
1093
00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:27,795
...would ultimately empathize
with our situation.
1094
00:58:27,963 --> 00:58:31,132
-What is our situation, Dad?
-You're a homo.
1095
00:58:31,300 --> 00:58:34,594
Oh, for God sakes, William,
put Mommy to bed already.
1096
00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:37,430
Okay. Mommy, we've had a long day.
1097
00:58:37,806 --> 00:58:39,891
I can do it myself, asshole.
1098
00:58:43,312 --> 00:58:44,645
Wow
1099
00:58:45,689 --> 00:58:47,106
I'll be in my room painting.
1100
00:58:47,941 --> 00:58:49,442
Homo things.
1101
00:58:50,152 --> 00:58:52,904
You just go right ahead, Toddy.
1102
00:58:54,156 --> 00:58:57,825
WOMAN: Wonderful scallops.
CLEARY: Absolutely. Wonderful.
1103
00:58:57,993 --> 00:59:01,120
You know, I think
I'm gonna get some air.
1104
00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:03,789
Oh, I'll get some air
if you want some company.
1105
00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:06,918
-Sure.
JOHN: Let me just change my shoes.
1106
00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:09,128
-Excuse me.
-All right. I'm gonna--
1107
00:59:09,296 --> 00:59:12,465
Can't walk away from the delicious food
that we got here.
1108
00:59:15,469 --> 00:59:16,802
[DOOR SLAMS]
1109
00:59:21,725 --> 00:59:23,517
I just had my tits done.
1110
00:59:24,645 --> 00:59:26,145
You like them?
1111
00:59:27,022 --> 00:59:30,650
Those seem like lovely tits.
1112
00:59:30,817 --> 00:59:33,361
William doesn't give a shit about my tits.
1113
00:59:33,528 --> 00:59:35,655
Well, darn him.
1114
00:59:35,822 --> 00:59:38,074
But, Mrs. Cleary, this is pretty sudden.
1115
00:59:38,242 --> 00:59:41,827
You've been playing cat and mouse
with me ever since you came here.
1116
00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:44,372
-Mrs. Cleary, I don't--
-Call me Cat.
1117
00:59:44,957 --> 00:59:49,126
-Okay, Cat--
-Call me Kitty Cat. Rowr.
1118
00:59:50,170 --> 00:59:56,300
Okay, Kitty Cat, this feels
borderline inappropriate, and--
1119
00:59:56,468 --> 00:59:57,802
-Feel them.
-What?
1120
00:59:57,970 --> 00:59:59,679
-I said, feel them.
-Mrs. Cleary--
1121
00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:01,514
Kitty Cat.
1122
01:00:01,682 --> 01:00:05,017
I'm sorry, Kitty Cat.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
1123
01:00:05,185 --> 01:00:07,603
I'm not letting you out of this room...
1124
01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:10,273
...until you feel them.
1125
01:00:21,034 --> 01:00:24,370
Wow, they feel really nice. Real orb-like.
1126
01:00:24,913 --> 01:00:27,540
It's amazing what they can do to--
1127
01:00:28,542 --> 01:00:30,543
Pervert.
1128
01:00:40,554 --> 01:00:42,972
TODD:
Mom make you feel her tits?
1129
01:00:46,727 --> 01:00:48,352
Did you say something, Todd?
1130
01:00:49,062 --> 01:00:51,897
Mom make you feel her tits?
1131
01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:55,026
Todd, where are you going with this?
1132
01:00:55,193 --> 01:00:58,779
Just don't say anything
to my dad, though.
1133
01:00:59,072 --> 01:01:01,824
Some friend of my sister's...
1134
01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:05,119
...she said something to my dad
a couple of years ago...
1135
01:01:05,954 --> 01:01:08,789
...he now lives in a shack in Guam.
1136
01:01:09,207 --> 01:01:10,374
Not by choice.
1137
01:01:11,752 --> 01:01:14,920
Stop kidding with me, Todd.
You almost had me.
1138
01:01:15,088 --> 01:01:16,714
Come on.
1139
01:01:25,057 --> 01:01:27,350
-John, I need to talk to you.
-No, not right now.
1140
01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:31,395
What's wrong with you? Why you got
the weird look all over your face?
1141
01:01:31,563 --> 01:01:33,773
Claire's mom just made me
grab her hooters.
1142
01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:37,318
Well, snap out of it! What? A hot
older woman made you feel her cans?
1143
01:01:37,486 --> 01:01:40,446
-Stop crying like a little girl.
-I wasn't crying like a little girl.
1144
01:01:40,614 --> 01:01:43,240
Try getting jacked off under
the table in front of the family...
1145
01:01:43,408 --> 01:01:46,702
...and have some real problems.
Jackass.
1146
01:01:46,870 --> 01:01:49,455
What were they like?
They look pretty good. Are they real?
1147
01:01:49,623 --> 01:01:52,249
Are they built for speed or for comfort?
What'd you do with them?
1148
01:01:52,417 --> 01:01:54,960
Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
Pbbbbt.
1149
01:01:55,754 --> 01:01:58,798
You motorboating son of a bitch.
You old sailor, you.
1150
01:01:58,965 --> 01:02:00,883
Where is she? She still in the house?
1151
01:02:01,051 --> 01:02:02,635
What is wrong with you?
1152
01:02:02,803 --> 01:02:04,303
What do you--?
What's wrong with you?
1153
01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:06,222
-What's wrong with you?
-What's wrong with you?
1154
01:02:06,390 --> 01:02:07,473
-You're projecting.
-Drop it.
1155
01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:09,642
You drop it.
You stop projecting on me.
1156
01:02:09,810 --> 01:02:12,395
You go enjoy yourself
while I go ice my balls and spit up blood.
1157
01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:15,106
JOHN: Drop it!
-"Team player."
1158
01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:34,750
[JEREMY CLEARS THROAT]
1159
01:02:39,172 --> 01:02:42,591
Oh, Mr. President.
1160
01:02:50,934 --> 01:02:52,059
[SCREAMS]
1161
01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:53,936
What do you want?
1162
01:02:54,396 --> 01:02:55,688
You're in my room.
1163
01:02:56,690 --> 01:02:58,691
Oh, dear.
1164
01:03:00,402 --> 01:03:04,989
I'm too drunk to walk,
so carry me to my room.
1165
01:03:06,741 --> 01:03:08,284
Carry you?
1166
01:03:09,161 --> 01:03:10,202
Sure.
1167
01:03:16,334 --> 01:03:19,044
RANDOLPH: You banging the daughter
and the grandma?
1168
01:03:19,212 --> 01:03:21,672
-How much jam you got, man?
-Jam?
1169
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,967
Listen, man.
The family dog live downstairs.
1170
01:03:25,135 --> 01:03:28,387
I can wake him up for you if you like.
His name is Snooky.
1171
01:03:28,555 --> 01:03:32,725
-You could not be more wrong--
-Just be gentle with her, okay?
1172
01:03:32,893 --> 01:03:35,728
She be pushing 90.
1173
01:03:40,734 --> 01:03:42,902
Jesus Christ.
1174
01:03:52,913 --> 01:03:56,207
Hey. Good thing I didn't hold my breath.
1175
01:03:56,374 --> 01:03:58,792
Yeah, I'm sorry, I just, uh....
1176
01:03:59,669 --> 01:04:01,545
Sorry I'm late, I just....
1177
01:04:01,713 --> 01:04:02,880
You okay?
1178
01:04:03,048 --> 01:04:05,257
No, no, I'm fine, I just....
1179
01:04:05,425 --> 01:04:07,801
I just got held up.
1180
01:04:09,262 --> 01:04:11,514
My family's a little strange.
1181
01:04:12,432 --> 01:04:13,599
A little strange?
1182
01:04:13,767 --> 01:04:16,393
Come on. Claire.
1183
01:04:16,561 --> 01:04:19,438
Your family are totally nuts.
1184
01:04:20,273 --> 01:04:23,067
-And guess what.
-What?
1185
01:04:23,235 --> 01:04:25,236
-I love it.
-You do?
1186
01:04:25,403 --> 01:04:27,238
-Yeah, it seems great.
-Really?
1187
01:04:27,405 --> 01:04:29,114
-Yes.
-I get a little self-conscious.
1188
01:04:29,282 --> 01:04:31,534
It's a family. You're mixing it up.
1189
01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:34,119
You got the sweet little grandma
who's really sweet...
1190
01:04:34,287 --> 01:04:37,456
...with her, like, little, like, white hair,
but then she's kind of mean.
1191
01:04:37,624 --> 01:04:42,002
But you're like, "Well, fuck it, she's so old,
and she's not gonna change now."
1192
01:04:42,170 --> 01:04:44,296
Shit, it was great.
1193
01:04:44,464 --> 01:04:47,633
I just hope I didn't embarrass myself
with that stupid joke I told.
1194
01:04:47,801 --> 01:04:49,760
Are you kidding? That was so funny.
1195
01:04:49,928 --> 01:04:53,472
-No, really? Really?
-Yeah. Yeah, you're like that crazy guest...
1196
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:55,641
...who thinks he's part of the family.
It's great.
1197
01:04:55,809 --> 01:04:57,851
Doesn't sound that great.
That sounds horrible.
1198
01:04:58,019 --> 01:05:00,437
-No, it's cute.
-The crazy guest who thinks he's...
1199
01:05:00,605 --> 01:05:03,732
...like, part of the family who's gonna say
inappropriate stuff? What is that?
1200
01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:06,402
Yeah. You know, you break the ice.
1201
01:05:06,570 --> 01:05:08,445
-Yeah.
-It can be so stuffy sometimes in there.
1202
01:05:08,613 --> 01:05:09,947
CLEARY:
Claire?
1203
01:05:10,115 --> 01:05:12,283
CLAIRE: Yeah?
-There you are.
1204
01:05:12,450 --> 01:05:15,160
Have you checked on Sack?
I think he's pretty sick.
1205
01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:17,079
-Oh, really?
CLEARY: Yeah.
1206
01:05:17,247 --> 01:05:20,666
Okay. Yeah. No, I'll be right in.
1207
01:05:20,834 --> 01:05:23,085
-I should-- I should go check on him.
JOHN: Yeah, sure, okay.
1208
01:05:23,253 --> 01:05:26,422
Yeah, we'll take a walk some other time.
1209
01:05:27,924 --> 01:05:29,174
Claire.
1210
01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:30,676
Mm-hm?
1211
01:05:33,305 --> 01:05:35,180
I'll talk to you later.
1212
01:05:36,099 --> 01:05:37,600
Okay.
1213
01:05:49,529 --> 01:05:51,155
CLAIRE:
Oh, no.
1214
01:05:51,323 --> 01:05:53,198
Are you okay?
1215
01:05:53,366 --> 01:05:55,618
Well, Claire...
1216
01:05:55,785 --> 01:05:57,369
...my head's buried in a toilet.
1217
01:05:57,537 --> 01:05:59,830
What do you think?
Why don't you do the math, okay?
1218
01:06:01,625 --> 01:06:05,002
Honey, it's okay to be vulnerable
sometimes. It's just me.
1219
01:06:05,170 --> 01:06:08,714
Yeah, you can just cut that psychobabble
bullshit that your mom tells you, okay?
1220
01:06:08,882 --> 01:06:10,883
-Right.
-Hey, you wanna help me out?
1221
01:06:11,051 --> 01:06:14,386
Do you? Do you, kid?
Why don't you go get me a 7-Up, okay?
1222
01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:18,390
All right, because I think I'm--
I think I might get vulnerable again.
1223
01:06:32,530 --> 01:06:34,573
-What the fuck is going on?
-Shh.
1224
01:06:34,741 --> 01:06:36,075
[SHUSHING]
1225
01:06:36,242 --> 01:06:37,910
You'll wake my dad.
1226
01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:40,746
Baby, I started thinking
about what you said before...
1227
01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:44,583
...and I think the problem is I am not
being adventurous enough for you.
1228
01:06:44,751 --> 01:06:47,628
Gloria, I am pretty sure that is not
what I've been saying to you.
1229
01:06:47,796 --> 01:06:48,837
Shh.
1230
01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:51,090
Baby...
1231
01:06:51,257 --> 01:06:55,427
...I'm gonna make all
your fantasies come true.
1232
01:06:55,595 --> 01:06:57,012
But this is not a fant--
1233
01:06:57,180 --> 01:06:59,181
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1234
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:01,934
I love you.
1235
01:07:02,102 --> 01:07:04,103
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]
1236
01:08:43,161 --> 01:08:45,162
[GRUNTING]
1237
01:08:48,208 --> 01:08:49,708
[VOMITING]
1238
01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:05,182
Gloria, go to sleep, honey.
1239
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:06,975
It's not Gloria.
1240
01:09:09,354 --> 01:09:10,729
Jesus Christ.
1241
01:09:10,897 --> 01:09:12,564
We had a moment
at the dinner table.
1242
01:09:12,732 --> 01:09:14,483
We did not have a moment
at the dinner table.
1243
01:09:14,651 --> 01:09:16,693
Yes. We had a moment.
1244
01:09:16,861 --> 01:09:19,238
I was there. I would have noticed
if there was a moment.
1245
01:09:20,698 --> 01:09:22,324
I made you a painting.
1246
01:09:22,492 --> 01:09:24,076
What?
1247
01:09:24,619 --> 01:09:26,328
TODD:
I call the painting "Celebration."
1248
01:09:26,788 --> 01:09:29,039
It's sexual and violent.
1249
01:09:30,250 --> 01:09:32,000
I thought you might like it.
1250
01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:34,211
No.
1251
01:09:34,379 --> 01:09:35,712
[DOOR SLAMS]
1252
01:09:36,339 --> 01:09:38,090
CLEARY: Where's that coming from?
You hear that?
1253
01:09:39,008 --> 01:09:41,593
-Hide! You gotta hide! Yes.
-No. They need to know about us.
1254
01:09:41,761 --> 01:09:44,555
-It's okay.
-Hide, hide, hide! Please, please, please.
1255
01:09:46,307 --> 01:09:49,768
Not there. Not there! I'm not comfortable--
I'm not comfortable with that!
1256
01:09:49,936 --> 01:09:52,104
-Let's play tummy sticks.
-What's tummy sticks?
1257
01:09:52,272 --> 01:09:53,981
I don't want to play. Get in the closet.
1258
01:09:54,148 --> 01:09:56,108
It's okay,
I was where you were a year ago.
1259
01:09:56,276 --> 01:09:59,152
Get in the fucking closet right now.
You go get in the closet!
1260
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:02,364
You go get in the closet!
You go get in the closet!
1261
01:10:02,532 --> 01:10:03,949
Go.
1262
01:10:07,287 --> 01:10:08,829
I'll pop out at the right moment.
1263
01:10:08,997 --> 01:10:11,081
JEREMY:
No, you will not.
1264
01:10:16,129 --> 01:10:20,173
Everything okay in here?
I thought I heard something.
1265
01:10:20,341 --> 01:10:21,800
I was just having a bad dream.
1266
01:10:26,014 --> 01:10:28,765
I know about bad dreams.
1267
01:10:29,934 --> 01:10:33,061
You know, Todd...
1268
01:10:33,605 --> 01:10:38,233
...screams at night sometimes.
1269
01:10:38,735 --> 01:10:43,322
You know, the doctors call it
night terrors. I don't know.
1270
01:11:03,009 --> 01:11:04,343
[MUTTERING]
1271
01:11:04,510 --> 01:11:05,928
Okay, then.
1272
01:11:06,554 --> 01:11:08,597
Sleep well.
1273
01:11:10,725 --> 01:11:12,059
[DOOR SHUTS]
1274
01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:18,398
There's nothing terrifying
about the night.
1275
01:11:18,566 --> 01:11:22,361
Now, listen, if you let me
go to bed and get some sleep...
1276
01:11:22,528 --> 01:11:24,112
...then we can talk tomorrow.
1277
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:26,615
-You won't make time for me.
-If I get my sleep...
1278
01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:29,952
...I'd love to make time
and talk about, uh, different things.
1279
01:11:30,119 --> 01:11:31,286
Like paintings.
1280
01:11:34,290 --> 01:11:36,875
Can't wait for tomorrow,
when I got energy and I can share stuff.
1281
01:11:37,043 --> 01:11:38,627
-Okay.
-Okay.
1282
01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:41,797
-Oh, it's gonna be great.
-You sleep.
1283
01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:49,388
Okay. That was nice.
1284
01:11:49,555 --> 01:11:51,556
That was nice.
Please let me just sleep.
1285
01:11:55,019 --> 01:11:58,230
I can't take this fucking shit anymore.
1286
01:12:06,531 --> 01:12:09,908
There he is.
It's the big guy! Get in here.
1287
01:12:10,076 --> 01:12:12,327
Wait till you see the spread.
Anything you want.
1288
01:12:12,495 --> 01:12:14,037
Yeah, well, get what you want to go.
1289
01:12:14,205 --> 01:12:16,373
Ferry leaves in 25 minutes.
We gotta get out of here.
1290
01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:18,667
Whoa, what's your problem?
Have some of this stuff.
1291
01:12:19,252 --> 01:12:21,586
I didn't get a lot of sleep
last night, John. I'm fried.
1292
01:12:21,754 --> 01:12:23,547
-Soft mattress?
-Yeah, that could've been it.
1293
01:12:23,715 --> 01:12:26,133
It could have been the soft mattress,
or the midnight rape...
1294
01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:28,343
...or the nude, gay art show in my room.
1295
01:12:28,511 --> 01:12:30,595
One of those probably added
to the lack of sleep.
1296
01:12:30,763 --> 01:12:32,597
Try one of these scones,
you'll love them.
1297
01:12:32,765 --> 01:12:34,433
I'm a little too traumatized.
Let's move.
1298
01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:37,436
Will you slow down for a second?
The whole eye-drop thing backfired.
1299
01:12:37,603 --> 01:12:40,480
Okay? It didn't work. She had to
leave me and go attend to him.
1300
01:12:43,401 --> 01:12:44,818
Why are you looking at me like that?
1301
01:12:44,986 --> 01:12:46,903
You're falling for this broad.
1302
01:12:47,071 --> 01:12:49,448
No. I just met her.
1303
01:12:49,615 --> 01:12:51,616
Exactly. I'm gonna go.
1304
01:12:51,784 --> 01:12:53,201
-You can't go.
-Watch me.
1305
01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:55,203
Watch me take this
on down the road.
1306
01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:58,957
Look, if you leave, Gloria is gonna
freak out and throw a shit fit...
1307
01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:02,127
...and it's gonna go into crisis
lockdown mode here at the house.
1308
01:13:02,295 --> 01:13:04,296
I don't give a baker's fuck.
1309
01:13:04,464 --> 01:13:07,215
I just had my own sock duct-taped
into my mouth last night.
1310
01:13:07,383 --> 01:13:09,760
-Whoa, what?
-Yeah, the sock...
1311
01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:13,180
...that I wore around all day,
playing football in, pouring sweat in...
1312
01:13:13,347 --> 01:13:16,391
...was shoved into my mouth,
and there was duct tape over it.
1313
01:13:16,559 --> 01:13:18,268
Let's talk about it. I'm a good listener.
1314
01:13:18,436 --> 01:13:20,479
I'm not in a place to discuss
what happened. Okay?
1315
01:13:20,646 --> 01:13:22,731
I felt like Jodie Foster
in The Accused last night.
1316
01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:25,484
I'm gonna go home,
see Dr. Finkelstein...
1317
01:13:25,651 --> 01:13:28,236
...and I'm gonna tell him
we got a whole new bag of issues.
1318
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:31,907
We can forget about Mom for a while.
I'm gonna go.
1319
01:13:32,075 --> 01:13:35,744
Suit yourself. Rule number 1.
1320
01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:39,331
Rule number 1: Never leave
a fellow crasher behind.
1321
01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:45,587
-I can't believe how selfish you are.
-I need you.
1322
01:13:49,801 --> 01:13:51,635
A friend in need is a pest.
1323
01:13:55,473 --> 01:13:58,016
I'll stick it out with you
because you're desperate.
1324
01:13:58,184 --> 01:13:59,434
I need the big guy.
1325
01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:02,312
I'll give you a little bit more time
because somebody can't close.
1326
01:14:02,480 --> 01:14:04,523
-Fair enough.
-But if you want my help, listen.
1327
01:14:04,690 --> 01:14:07,192
Number one: Stop being a pussy.
1328
01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:09,486
Number two: Make a move.
1329
01:14:09,654 --> 01:14:11,696
Number three....
1330
01:14:11,864 --> 01:14:13,240
You know it.
1331
01:14:13,407 --> 01:14:15,450
Could you pop the syrup for me?
Just as a top off?
1332
01:14:15,618 --> 01:14:18,036
Here's what's gonna happen, Tonto.
1333
01:14:18,204 --> 01:14:20,205
Kimosabe's gonna have some flavor.
1334
01:14:20,373 --> 01:14:22,707
-I choose not to eat with you.
-We're not eating together?
1335
01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:25,877
No. I'd like to recharge my batteries,
and shut down the engines...
1336
01:14:26,045 --> 01:14:27,712
...and get myself back to neutral.
1337
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:30,090
When the meal's over with,
I will talk to you.
1338
01:14:30,258 --> 01:14:32,676
I don't want to get into
what happened last night.
1339
01:14:32,844 --> 01:14:35,929
Let's get through today,
let's keep our eye on the prize, let's focus...
1340
01:14:36,097 --> 01:14:38,265
-...and let's close some ass.
-Noted.
1341
01:14:44,105 --> 01:14:47,649
Can I tell you something
without you getting angry?
1342
01:14:48,651 --> 01:14:50,360
I love you.
1343
01:14:52,196 --> 01:14:54,364
Yeah, you, big guy.
1344
01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:57,951
I love you too.
1345
01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:00,829
[LINE RINGING]
1346
01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:02,080
MAN:
Hello
1347
01:15:02,248 --> 01:15:05,250
-Trapster, it's Sack.
-Sackmaster.
1348
01:15:05,459 --> 01:15:07,878
-How was the wedding?
-Oh, it was boring, you know
1349
01:15:08,045 --> 01:15:09,713
But the bachelor party,
of course, rocked.
1350
01:15:09,881 --> 01:15:13,508
We got Heidi, a couple of those fucking sluts
from the environmental group, remember?
1351
01:15:13,676 --> 01:15:16,344
No way. Did you tap that again?
1352
01:15:16,512 --> 01:15:18,930
Once at my place,
then once back in the cab.
1353
01:15:19,098 --> 01:15:21,224
Damn! Sluts.
1354
01:15:21,392 --> 01:15:22,767
Oh, how's Claire?
1355
01:15:22,935 --> 01:15:25,979
Still trying to figure out
what she's doing with her life?
1356
01:15:26,147 --> 01:15:28,106
Claire? She's, you know,
whatever, I don't know.
1357
01:15:28,274 --> 01:15:31,067
She's saving the world
one maladjusted kid at a time.
1358
01:15:31,235 --> 01:15:33,445
But that'll all change
when we're married.
1359
01:15:33,613 --> 01:15:35,780
I want a wife.
I don't want a fucking martyr, right?
1360
01:15:35,948 --> 01:15:37,866
I hear that, my friend
1361
01:15:38,868 --> 01:15:41,077
Hey, man, listen, I, uh, got--
1362
01:15:41,245 --> 01:15:43,246
Do you remember
that private detective we used...
1363
01:15:43,414 --> 01:15:45,081
...to set up that
Shearson Lehman prick?
1364
01:15:45,249 --> 01:15:47,626
The "Big Sleazy," Tommy Gufano.
He's a wop genius.
1365
01:15:47,793 --> 01:15:50,462
Yes. I need you to get some dirt
on these two guys...
1366
01:15:50,630 --> 01:15:53,632
...John and Jeremy Ryan.
They're brothers from New Hampshire.
1367
01:15:53,799 --> 01:15:57,052
They got some sort of N.P.O. called
Holy Shirts & Pants.
1368
01:15:57,220 --> 01:15:59,846
-I will check into them.
-Excellent, bro.
1369
01:16:00,014 --> 01:16:01,640
-You the man.
-Take it easy.
1370
01:16:02,516 --> 01:16:04,517
[GURGLING AND BELCHING]
1371
01:16:07,605 --> 01:16:08,939
CLEARY:
Where's Sack?
1372
01:16:09,106 --> 01:16:11,316
CLAIRE:
Oh, he's still not feeling very well.
1373
01:16:11,484 --> 01:16:14,319
CLEARY:
Well, then, we'll sail without him.
1374
01:16:42,181 --> 01:16:43,807
CLEARY: John, my boy.
-Yes?
1375
01:16:43,975 --> 01:16:45,809
We're tacking back round.
1376
01:16:45,977 --> 01:16:48,144
Do me a favor, ease the sheets...
1377
01:16:48,312 --> 01:16:50,522
...swing the jib starboard.
1378
01:16:50,690 --> 01:16:52,649
Okay, let me, uh--
1379
01:16:55,903 --> 01:16:57,529
Okay.
1380
01:17:07,665 --> 01:17:09,374
JOHN:
One minute.
1381
01:17:09,917 --> 01:17:11,876
-Hi. How's it going?
-Hi.
1382
01:17:12,044 --> 01:17:14,713
Oh, just swinging the jib here
for your dad.
1383
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:17,841
Starboard. Trying to get it over here
and crease the sheet.
1384
01:17:18,009 --> 01:17:20,051
But starboard's this way.
1385
01:17:21,137 --> 01:17:24,014
-Oh, that's right. What am I--?
-Yeah.
1386
01:17:24,181 --> 01:17:25,807
-What am I thinking?
-I'll help.
1387
01:17:25,975 --> 01:17:27,767
-Okay.
CLAIRE: Hang on, hang on.
1388
01:17:28,394 --> 01:17:30,020
Watch the jib boom.
1389
01:17:33,607 --> 01:17:36,901
All right, push it. Push it this way.
1390
01:17:37,069 --> 01:17:39,571
Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is better.
1391
01:17:39,739 --> 01:17:42,198
-Come on, use some muscle.
-There we go.
1392
01:17:42,366 --> 01:17:44,617
All right, that's beautiful.
Done. Done.
1393
01:17:44,785 --> 01:17:46,911
I'm used to sailing down under
with the Kiwis...
1394
01:17:47,079 --> 01:17:49,581
...so everything is backwards.
1395
01:17:49,749 --> 01:17:54,419
Even the toilets, when you flush them,
the water spins the opposite way.
1396
01:17:54,587 --> 01:17:56,921
Really freaks you out
the first time you see it.
1397
01:18:13,314 --> 01:18:14,939
CLEARY:
John, my boy.
1398
01:18:15,107 --> 01:18:16,816
Come on up here.
1399
01:18:16,984 --> 01:18:18,693
Man the Woodwind for a while.
1400
01:18:18,861 --> 01:18:20,820
On my way.
1401
01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:28,203
Hey, your dad was telling me
about a great beach near here...
1402
01:18:28,371 --> 01:18:32,374
...that maybe we could check out,
if you have any interest, when we get back.
1403
01:18:34,293 --> 01:18:35,293
-Yeah.
-Great.
1404
01:18:35,461 --> 01:18:38,963
Okay, it can get confusing up here.
If you have a problem, just give me a call.
1405
01:18:39,131 --> 01:18:41,174
CLAIRE:
Thank you.
1406
01:18:41,342 --> 01:18:43,385
JOHN:
Ah, sailing. What have we got, captain?
1407
01:18:43,552 --> 01:18:45,804
Take the wheel.
1408
01:19:09,662 --> 01:19:12,872
-Thanks.
-How would one get to this Sook's Bend?
1409
01:19:13,040 --> 01:19:14,916
Actually, it would be
a really nice bike ride.
1410
01:19:15,084 --> 01:19:16,751
[GUN COCKS]
1411
01:19:16,919 --> 01:19:18,753
Everything's ready for the quail hunt!
1412
01:19:18,921 --> 01:19:20,630
-Sack?
-For the quail hunt?
1413
01:19:20,798 --> 01:19:23,216
It's a Cleary family tradition.
1414
01:19:23,384 --> 01:19:26,511
Well, I think you might have to deal me
out on this, because we were gonna--
1415
01:19:26,679 --> 01:19:28,012
Nonsense, I insist.
1416
01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:30,682
John, you gotta go. You're gonna love it.
You're gonna love it.
1417
01:19:30,850 --> 01:19:34,144
Sack, honey, you a little bit sick
for hunting?
1418
01:19:34,311 --> 01:19:36,229
Oh, no, I'm great. Honey, I'm great.
1419
01:19:36,397 --> 01:19:39,023
No, I'm going. Right? Right?
1420
01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:40,442
[SACK CACKLES]
1421
01:19:40,860 --> 01:19:42,068
[SACK GUFFAWS]
1422
01:19:42,236 --> 01:19:44,028
Okay. You're going.
1423
01:19:44,196 --> 01:19:47,449
-So I guess I'll see you later.
-See you later.
1424
01:19:48,367 --> 01:19:49,534
Just take it easy, okay?
1425
01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:51,286
-Okay.
CLAIRE: Okay.
1426
01:19:51,454 --> 01:19:55,540
Mr. Environmental is also a hunter.
It's kind of an interesting combination.
1427
01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:57,333
I hunt quail, Jeremy.
1428
01:19:57,501 --> 01:20:00,753
They're overpopulated and they're
decimating the grub-worm population.
1429
01:20:00,921 --> 01:20:02,297
Got a fucking problem with that?
1430
01:20:02,465 --> 01:20:05,383
Not nearly as much as I do with
the attire that you have on...
1431
01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:07,844
...or just your general point of view
towards everybody.
1432
01:20:08,012 --> 01:20:09,679
But let's go kill some birds. I'm psyched.
1433
01:20:13,100 --> 01:20:15,310
Have you even shot
one of these things before?
1434
01:20:15,478 --> 01:20:17,270
The whole 1 7 years
we've known each other...
1435
01:20:17,438 --> 01:20:20,231
...I've been sneaking off to go on
hunting trips around the world.
1436
01:20:20,399 --> 01:20:22,609
No, I don't even know
what the fuck a quail is.
1437
01:20:22,776 --> 01:20:25,778
I feel totally ridiculous.
It's like, why do I have to be in camouflage?
1438
01:20:25,946 --> 01:20:27,489
So the big bad quail doesn't see me?
1439
01:20:27,656 --> 01:20:30,033
I know. It's like, why can't
we hunt something cool...
1440
01:20:30,201 --> 01:20:33,661
...like a hawk, or an eagle,
or something with some talons?
1441
01:20:33,829 --> 01:20:35,914
That'd be awesome.
Big game, even like a gorilla?
1442
01:20:36,081 --> 01:20:37,749
-Yeah. Gorilla.
-Or a rhinoceros.
1443
01:20:37,917 --> 01:20:39,584
-Rhino.
-Or a fucking human being?
1444
01:20:39,752 --> 01:20:41,961
That'll get you jacked up.
1445
01:20:42,129 --> 01:20:43,588
That's a little heavy.
1446
01:20:43,756 --> 01:20:46,049
I mean, like-- You're hunting
a human being right now.
1447
01:20:46,217 --> 01:20:47,926
Most Dangerous Game
1448
01:20:48,093 --> 01:20:50,929
Like a worthy adversary.
Not a human being that's armed...
1449
01:20:51,096 --> 01:20:53,640
-Oh, if he wasn't armed.
-...but a clever human being...
1450
01:20:53,807 --> 01:20:56,267
-...who knows the jungle, or the woods.
-Like a bad guy.
1451
01:21:00,231 --> 01:21:02,232
[BIRDCALL WHISTLING]
1452
01:21:06,779 --> 01:21:08,696
There's something not right
about these guys.
1453
01:21:09,448 --> 01:21:11,866
MAN: What do you mean?
-I mean, it's time to send them home.
1454
01:21:12,034 --> 01:21:13,576
Sack, don't do anything crazy.
1455
01:21:13,744 --> 01:21:16,621
-I'm just gonna scare them a little bit.
-All right.
1456
01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:20,458
To the right!
1457
01:21:20,626 --> 01:21:21,668
[SCREAMING]
1458
01:21:22,545 --> 01:21:24,546
[SCREAMING]
1459
01:21:24,713 --> 01:21:25,964
BOTH:
Ooh.
1460
01:21:26,131 --> 01:21:27,507
Ooh.
1461
01:21:28,342 --> 01:21:30,635
-They got me!
-Oh, shit.
1462
01:21:30,803 --> 01:21:32,887
JEREMY: They got me!
-Oh, shit.
1463
01:21:33,055 --> 01:21:34,389
JEREMY:
Ow!
1464
01:21:35,558 --> 01:21:37,809
Ow! Jesus!
1465
01:21:37,977 --> 01:21:40,436
-You okay, buddy?
-Oh, don't "okay, buddy" me.
1466
01:21:40,604 --> 01:21:44,148
We're gonna take a little bike ride, and then
we'll come back and check up on you.
1467
01:21:44,316 --> 01:21:47,819
And take care of him, okay? I want you
to get my little angel up and running.
1468
01:21:47,987 --> 01:21:49,988
-Hang in there.
-I hope you flip your bike over...
1469
01:21:50,155 --> 01:21:53,157
...and knock your two front teeth out,
you selfish son of a bitch!
1470
01:21:53,325 --> 01:21:55,952
You leave me in the trenches
taking grenades, John!
1471
01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,763
CLAIRE:
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1472
01:22:26,150 --> 01:22:27,859
Yes!
1473
01:22:29,320 --> 01:22:30,403
JOHN:
Whoa.
1474
01:22:32,364 --> 01:22:33,823
Come on!
1475
01:22:35,159 --> 01:22:36,826
JOHN:
Slow down!
1476
01:22:39,413 --> 01:22:40,872
MAN [ON TV]:
Tough luck, Ralphie boy
1477
01:22:42,124 --> 01:22:43,625
-Randolph.
-Shh.
1478
01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:45,710
I'm watching my stories, man.
1479
01:22:46,795 --> 01:22:48,671
Is that what you get paid to do?
1480
01:22:48,839 --> 01:22:51,049
It's exactly what I get paid to do.
1481
01:22:51,216 --> 01:22:53,384
Look, I want to know where Claire is.
1482
01:22:53,552 --> 01:22:56,179
She took a bike ride down to the beach.
1483
01:22:57,222 --> 01:22:58,222
With who?
1484
01:22:58,390 --> 01:23:03,394
With that fella from the wedding
that everyone seems to be so fond of.
1485
01:23:09,193 --> 01:23:11,569
CLAIRE:
So you're a venture capitalist?
1486
01:23:11,737 --> 01:23:13,571
What does that mean?
1487
01:23:13,739 --> 01:23:16,449
JOHN: Oh, it's really not that
interesting, actually.
1488
01:23:17,242 --> 01:23:19,410
CLAIRE:
You don't sound very enthused.
1489
01:23:19,578 --> 01:23:22,747
JOHN: Well, no, it's just--
You know, things start happening...
1490
01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:27,543
...and you go down a road
and you think it's just for a little while.
1491
01:23:27,711 --> 01:23:32,215
And then you get caught up in it
and you get kind of into it...
1492
01:23:32,424 --> 01:23:36,344
...and just don't even have time
to really ask questions about it.
1493
01:23:36,512 --> 01:23:39,597
And before you know it, you're living a life
that you didn't set out to...
1494
01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:41,265
...or that you intended to.
1495
01:23:42,601 --> 01:23:44,852
Do you know what I mean?
1496
01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:47,063
Yes, I do.
1497
01:23:48,065 --> 01:23:51,776
I think that there's some great things
that I'd like to do...
1498
01:23:51,944 --> 01:23:54,946
...that maybe I'm capable of, hopefully.
1499
01:23:55,114 --> 01:23:57,115
Oh, yeah? Like what?
1500
01:23:57,282 --> 01:23:59,117
I don't know.
1501
01:23:59,284 --> 01:24:01,119
We'll see. I'm still young.
1502
01:24:03,455 --> 01:24:06,165
Well...
1503
01:24:06,333 --> 01:24:08,042
...you're not that young.
1504
01:24:11,130 --> 01:24:13,423
I'm sorry.
1505
01:24:14,007 --> 01:24:15,550
Give me your hands.
1506
01:24:15,718 --> 01:24:17,093
I know this game. Okay.
1507
01:24:17,803 --> 01:24:20,221
JOHN:
I'm not gonna bite you.
1508
01:24:21,682 --> 01:24:23,891
Do you want full speed or half speed?
1509
01:24:24,059 --> 01:24:26,144
Full.
Oh, ha, ha, wow.
1510
01:24:28,272 --> 01:24:31,149
You're never gonna hit me,
I don't think. I'm pretty quick.
1511
01:24:33,193 --> 01:24:36,904
CLAIRE: What? You didn't approve of that?
-Let me get settled before you go.
1512
01:24:37,072 --> 01:24:38,656
No, because you're supposed to--
1513
01:24:38,824 --> 01:24:40,116
[SLAPPING]
1514
01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:42,535
You gotta wait until I put them back.
1515
01:24:42,703 --> 01:24:44,662
Come on.
1516
01:24:45,706 --> 01:24:48,750
So, what about you, with Sack?
1517
01:24:48,917 --> 01:24:50,752
Is that a good thing?
1518
01:24:50,919 --> 01:24:54,005
Yes, I think it's a good thing.
1519
01:24:55,632 --> 01:24:57,508
You don't sound very enthused.
1520
01:24:57,676 --> 01:24:59,177
I am.
1521
01:24:59,344 --> 01:25:02,680
Well, I mean, I think I am. I....
1522
01:25:03,348 --> 01:25:05,558
I'm....
1523
01:25:06,602 --> 01:25:08,311
Okay.
1524
01:25:09,146 --> 01:25:12,690
I-- You know, we've just been
talking so much about the future lately...
1525
01:25:12,858 --> 01:25:17,570
...and, uh, I mean, I always assumed
that we would get married.
1526
01:25:17,738 --> 01:25:19,197
But....
1527
01:25:21,450 --> 01:25:23,409
I'm scared.
1528
01:25:23,827 --> 01:25:25,036
I am.
1529
01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:30,082
But that that's how everyone feels
before they're about to get married.
1530
01:25:30,250 --> 01:25:32,543
I mean, don't you think?
1531
01:25:33,587 --> 01:25:35,379
Yeah, no. Don't answer that.
1532
01:25:35,547 --> 01:25:38,508
That's my rationalization
and I'm sticking to it.
1533
01:25:38,675 --> 01:25:41,052
Fair enough.
1534
01:25:41,220 --> 01:25:43,721
And I don't mean to pry.
1535
01:25:44,181 --> 01:25:45,556
Yes, you did.
1536
01:25:51,730 --> 01:25:54,649
Well, however it works out,
I hope you....
1537
01:25:55,776 --> 01:25:56,984
Um....
1538
01:25:57,152 --> 01:26:00,530
I hope you realize that
you deserve somebody great.
1539
01:26:35,732 --> 01:26:37,567
I have an announcement.
1540
01:26:40,654 --> 01:26:43,948
I know that we said
we were gonna wait...
1541
01:26:44,116 --> 01:26:47,743
...but given the spirit
of this weekend, well....
1542
01:26:49,246 --> 01:26:52,790
Claire, come on. Come on.
Come on, come on, it's okay.
1543
01:26:52,958 --> 01:26:54,292
Come on. Come on.
1544
01:26:59,131 --> 01:27:00,256
[CHUCKLING]
1545
01:27:03,218 --> 01:27:04,677
Claire and I are getting married.
1546
01:27:04,887 --> 01:27:06,596
[CHATTERING AND CLAPPING]
1547
01:27:07,306 --> 01:27:10,433
KEN:
Good, Sack. That's wonderful.
1548
01:27:10,809 --> 01:27:12,101
MAN 1:
Isn't that great?
1549
01:27:12,269 --> 01:27:14,145
-Wonderful.
-Wonderful.
1550
01:27:14,313 --> 01:27:15,354
[SNORING]
1551
01:27:15,522 --> 01:27:17,607
MAN 2:
Way to go, man. Way to go.
1552
01:27:17,774 --> 01:27:19,317
Claire bear, you never told me.
1553
01:27:19,484 --> 01:27:21,652
Two of the great American families.
1554
01:27:21,820 --> 01:27:24,655
MAN 3: Claire, you took us all by surprise!
SACK: Yeah.
1555
01:27:24,823 --> 01:27:26,991
-Yeah.
MAN 3: You're good! You're good!
1556
01:27:27,743 --> 01:27:29,535
Can you just give me one minute?
1557
01:27:29,703 --> 01:27:31,954
-Yeah. Mmm.
-Okay.
1558
01:27:32,122 --> 01:27:33,873
KEN:
Great.
1559
01:27:34,041 --> 01:27:35,374
Congratulations, young man.
1560
01:27:35,542 --> 01:27:37,335
Welcome to the family.
This is wonderful.
1561
01:27:38,170 --> 01:27:41,088
Look, kid, I'm sorry. You win some,
you lose some, right? Let's go home.
1562
01:27:41,256 --> 01:27:44,258
-No, I'm not-- I can't do that.
-What are you talking about?
1563
01:27:44,426 --> 01:27:46,469
Look, I think I'm in love with her.
1564
01:27:46,637 --> 01:27:50,848
Yeah, I think-- I think that you're nuts.
That's what I think.
1565
01:27:51,266 --> 01:27:53,517
I'm gonna tell her the truth.
1566
01:27:54,353 --> 01:27:56,187
Jesus Christ!
1567
01:27:59,983 --> 01:28:03,027
-Hey. How are you?
-Hey.
1568
01:28:04,029 --> 01:28:06,989
Okay, listen, Gloria,
you know that I think...
1569
01:28:07,157 --> 01:28:09,700
...that you're an amazing person,
a really amazing person...
1570
01:28:09,868 --> 01:28:11,953
...but I feel like I have
to be up-front with you.
1571
01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:14,872
I really don't see this relationship
going further than this weekend.
1572
01:28:15,499 --> 01:28:17,208
-But I love you.
-Yeah.
1573
01:28:17,376 --> 01:28:19,794
You'll learn as time goes on
that there's a difference...
1574
01:28:19,962 --> 01:28:23,297
...between infatuation and love,
you know?
1575
01:28:23,465 --> 01:28:26,217
Obviously, you're gonna have
strong feelings for me...
1576
01:28:26,385 --> 01:28:28,219
...because you lost your virginity to me...
1577
01:28:28,387 --> 01:28:30,388
-...but that doesn't mean--
-Oh, I wasn't a virgin.
1578
01:28:33,350 --> 01:28:35,726
-What?
-I wasn't a virgin.
1579
01:28:35,894 --> 01:28:38,062
Far from it.
1580
01:28:38,230 --> 01:28:41,440
I just thought that that's what guys
wanted to hear.
1581
01:28:43,527 --> 01:28:45,319
Come on.
1582
01:28:46,196 --> 01:28:48,239
Jeremy.
1583
01:28:51,743 --> 01:28:52,743
Wow
1584
01:28:57,874 --> 01:28:58,958
Hello, son.
1585
01:28:59,126 --> 01:29:01,752
-You okay?
-Not now, Father, please.
1586
01:29:02,254 --> 01:29:05,840
No offense to you, I think we might be
on different wavelengths.
1587
01:29:06,466 --> 01:29:08,509
I think you'd just be
spinning your wheels with me.
1588
01:29:08,677 --> 01:29:10,761
But have a little
of the sacrament here.
1589
01:29:10,929 --> 01:29:13,639
No one likes to drink alone.
We'll set you up.
1590
01:29:14,391 --> 01:29:16,767
There you go, get your hands on it.
Take it while it's hot.
1591
01:29:16,935 --> 01:29:19,770
I'm gonna pour till it's on the tray.
Here it is.
1592
01:29:21,898 --> 01:29:23,941
Can I ask you a question, Father?
1593
01:29:24,735 --> 01:29:26,235
You ever get horny?
1594
01:29:26,403 --> 01:29:28,404
[CHUCKLING]
1595
01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:32,742
I'm sure you do. But I guess in your
position, right? You're not allowed to...
1596
01:29:33,201 --> 01:29:35,036
-...sleep with anybody, right?
-No.
1597
01:29:35,203 --> 01:29:37,163
Does that get tough sometimes?
1598
01:29:37,330 --> 01:29:39,915
Do you ever pull on yourself or...?
1599
01:29:41,084 --> 01:29:42,126
Everything works?
1600
01:29:42,377 --> 01:29:44,962
-Do you get swelled up still?
-Yeah, of course.
1601
01:29:45,881 --> 01:29:48,132
-Well, what do you do?
-You pray.
1602
01:29:48,300 --> 01:29:50,509
Yeah, I pray too, you know what I mean?
1603
01:30:01,313 --> 01:30:03,022
She's good.
1604
01:30:03,190 --> 01:30:05,483
I mean, I believed that she was a virgin.
1605
01:30:05,650 --> 01:30:07,151
It hurts to be lied to like that.
1606
01:30:07,319 --> 01:30:09,403
It's a horrible feeling to feel that way.
1607
01:30:09,571 --> 01:30:11,822
But I was looking
to take advantage of something too.
1608
01:30:11,990 --> 01:30:14,075
So could I really feel that bad?
1609
01:30:14,242 --> 01:30:16,494
It's not like I was who I was.
You know? So fair play.
1610
01:30:16,661 --> 01:30:18,287
And let's be honest here, okay?
1611
01:30:18,455 --> 01:30:21,665
Let's put all the cards on the table.
She's fit for a straitjacket.
1612
01:30:21,833 --> 01:30:23,709
She's fucked three ways
towards the weekend.
1613
01:30:23,877 --> 01:30:26,796
And you wanna know what?
I dig it. It turns me on.
1614
01:30:26,963 --> 01:30:28,380
Yeah. It turns me on.
1615
01:30:28,548 --> 01:30:30,299
You wanna know
what the kicker is, Father?
1616
01:30:30,467 --> 01:30:34,345
Maybe I'm a little fucking crazy.
That's right. Maybe Jeremy's a little nuts.
1617
01:30:34,513 --> 01:30:36,263
Maybe I'm a little cuckoo.
1618
01:30:36,431 --> 01:30:38,140
I know it's a surprise.
It's not on the surface.
1619
01:30:38,308 --> 01:30:41,060
I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid.
His name was Shilo.
1620
01:30:41,228 --> 01:30:43,437
We used to play checkers
with each other every day...
1621
01:30:43,605 --> 01:30:45,856
...and bless his heart,
Shilo would always let me win.
1622
01:30:46,024 --> 01:30:47,983
[CHUCKLING]
1623
01:30:48,276 --> 01:30:50,361
And that ain't normal.
There's something odd in that.
1624
01:30:50,529 --> 01:30:54,365
Maybe that's what it takes to make you feel
connected to somebody. I don't know.
1625
01:30:54,533 --> 01:30:56,367
I know when that redhead
starts getting kooky...
1626
01:30:56,535 --> 01:30:59,203
...that something about me
feels alive inside.
1627
01:30:59,371 --> 01:31:01,372
I dig talking with you.
You're an enlightened cat...
1628
01:31:01,540 --> 01:31:05,126
...and I like that about you.
I think you're a special, special man.
1629
01:31:05,293 --> 01:31:07,211
Okay, come in for the real thing.
1630
01:31:07,379 --> 01:31:09,130
-Get in here for the real thing.
-Oh, oh.
1631
01:31:09,297 --> 01:31:11,382
I love you. You're a sweet man.
1632
01:31:11,550 --> 01:31:13,342
Oh, dear God.
1633
01:31:29,442 --> 01:31:30,985
You can't marry this guy.
1634
01:31:31,987 --> 01:31:33,154
Why?
1635
01:31:33,321 --> 01:31:35,239
Because I've fallen for you.
1636
01:31:41,746 --> 01:31:42,746
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
1637
01:31:42,914 --> 01:31:44,123
WOMAN: Oh, this is wonderful.
-Oh.
1638
01:31:44,291 --> 01:31:46,584
Good news travels fast.
1639
01:31:46,751 --> 01:31:51,255
Excuse me. I'm just gonna take this.
Sorry, thanks. Thanks.
1640
01:31:51,965 --> 01:31:54,258
Trapster, talk to me.
1641
01:31:55,719 --> 01:31:57,094
No shit.
1642
01:32:01,349 --> 01:32:03,392
And do you maybe feel the same way?
1643
01:32:04,477 --> 01:32:06,312
-Maybe.
-Maybe.
1644
01:32:06,479 --> 01:32:08,606
That's all I needed to know.
1645
01:32:08,773 --> 01:32:10,608
But this is crazy,
because I don't know any--
1646
01:32:10,775 --> 01:32:13,485
-Why?
-I don't know anything about you!
1647
01:32:13,653 --> 01:32:15,988
-What do you mean?
-You do investments in New Hampshire...
1648
01:32:16,156 --> 01:32:19,116
...and you have a crazy brother--
1649
01:32:19,284 --> 01:32:21,327
I need to talk to you. It's not a big deal...
1650
01:32:21,494 --> 01:32:23,287
...but maybe you wanna
sit back on the swing.
1651
01:32:23,455 --> 01:32:24,788
[GUNSHOT]
1652
01:32:25,040 --> 01:32:26,707
Run!
1653
01:32:26,875 --> 01:32:29,960
Johnny! She's trying to kill me!
1654
01:32:30,670 --> 01:32:32,630
-Grandma!
-Get the gun from her!
1655
01:32:32,797 --> 01:32:34,882
Put the gun down! Mother, stop!
1656
01:32:35,050 --> 01:32:36,634
This is the real world, lady!
1657
01:32:36,801 --> 01:32:39,053
You can't just go
shooting people on a whim!
1658
01:32:39,221 --> 01:32:40,804
MAN:
Why does Grandma have a gun?
1659
01:32:40,972 --> 01:32:43,599
-What did you do?
-I told you that in confidence.
1660
01:32:45,310 --> 01:32:48,812
-That was a confession.
-What are you talking about?
1661
01:32:49,648 --> 01:32:51,232
Why don't you tell her, John?
1662
01:32:53,109 --> 01:32:54,944
-I don't know what's going on.
-You don't know?
1663
01:32:55,111 --> 01:32:56,779
-I'm playing catch-up, too.
-I don't--
1664
01:32:56,947 --> 01:32:59,073
CLAIRE: Sack, what are you doing?
SACK: Remembering yet?
1665
01:32:59,241 --> 01:33:00,658
-You remember yet?
CLAIRE: Are you okay?
1666
01:33:00,825 --> 01:33:02,618
SACK: They're not who
they say they are, Claire.
1667
01:33:02,786 --> 01:33:05,537
-Those aren't even their real names.
-What?
1668
01:33:05,705 --> 01:33:08,207
-Everything he told you is a lie.
CLAIRE: I don't understand.
1669
01:33:08,375 --> 01:33:10,376
Claire, they crash weddings.
1670
01:33:10,543 --> 01:33:12,795
They crash weddings
so they can sleep with girls.
1671
01:33:13,213 --> 01:33:16,048
Everything that they have told us
is a complete fabrication.
1672
01:33:16,216 --> 01:33:19,134
-No, you're joking.
-All of it is-- Don't you fucking get up.
1673
01:33:19,302 --> 01:33:21,804
-Sack, will you just stop?
-Okay, okay.
1674
01:33:22,681 --> 01:33:25,641
CLAIRE: Is that true?
-No, well, it's-- Not entirely.
1675
01:33:26,142 --> 01:33:27,977
No, it's a yes-or-no question.
1676
01:33:28,144 --> 01:33:29,561
I know, but it's complicated.
1677
01:33:29,729 --> 01:33:31,689
CLAIRE:
Yes or no?
1678
01:33:37,028 --> 01:33:38,445
Yes or no?
1679
01:33:39,698 --> 01:33:41,365
Yes.
1680
01:33:42,909 --> 01:33:45,077
With shades of gray.
1681
01:33:47,914 --> 01:33:52,126
I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding?
Neither are you.
1682
01:33:52,711 --> 01:33:55,212
And you wanna know what? I dig it.
1683
01:33:55,380 --> 01:33:57,131
Jeremy tried to seduce me!
1684
01:33:59,050 --> 01:34:01,218
You did?
1685
01:34:01,386 --> 01:34:03,053
I want my painting back.
1686
01:34:03,221 --> 01:34:05,264
The painting was a gift, Todd.
1687
01:34:05,432 --> 01:34:06,724
I'm taking it with me.
1688
01:34:08,810 --> 01:34:10,519
You had me going, son.
1689
01:34:10,687 --> 01:34:12,730
I thought it was something special.
1690
01:34:12,897 --> 01:34:16,025
There's a ferry leaving in 1 0 minutes.
1691
01:34:16,192 --> 01:34:17,818
I suggest you be on it.
1692
01:34:19,487 --> 01:34:21,488
Come on, let's go.
1693
01:34:23,533 --> 01:34:26,702
- [WHISPERING] I want you.
- [WHISPERING] I love you.
1694
01:34:28,955 --> 01:34:31,123
He made a fool out of you, Claire.
1695
01:34:35,337 --> 01:34:37,129
Come on, let's go.
1696
01:34:40,675 --> 01:34:42,217
Sweetheart.
1697
01:35:21,466 --> 01:35:25,010
Now bunch those panties up
into a little ball.
1698
01:35:25,303 --> 01:35:27,679
Put that little ball right in your mouth.
Oh, that's good.
1699
01:35:27,847 --> 01:35:30,015
-Hang up the phone.
-Okay.
1700
01:35:30,183 --> 01:35:32,476
And I will definitely
call you back later then.
1701
01:35:32,644 --> 01:35:35,312
-Come on, wrap it up.
-Talk to you soon. Thank you, Larry.
1702
01:35:35,480 --> 01:35:37,064
What the fuck?
You can't knock anymore?
1703
01:35:37,232 --> 01:35:39,066
-I know how I can get to her.
-What?
1704
01:35:39,234 --> 01:35:41,276
I know how I can get to Claire.
1705
01:35:41,444 --> 01:35:42,611
Oh.
1706
01:35:42,779 --> 01:35:45,989
John, you gotta drop this thing.
I can't do this anymore with you, okay?
1707
01:35:46,157 --> 01:35:48,283
It's been months,
you haven't heard anything from her.
1708
01:35:48,451 --> 01:35:51,787
She hasn't returned your phone calls,
she's never responded to your letters.
1709
01:35:51,955 --> 01:35:54,123
-She didn't respond to the candygram.
-Right.
1710
01:35:54,290 --> 01:35:56,333
God knows what happened
to the kitten you got her.
1711
01:35:56,501 --> 01:35:58,961
She didn't keep it and I know
you're not raising that thing.
1712
01:35:59,129 --> 01:36:00,671
-Okay.
-I think it's very obvious...
1713
01:36:00,839 --> 01:36:05,092
...at this juncture that she just flat out
does not wanna see you.
1714
01:36:05,260 --> 01:36:07,803
I disagree. Now, look, they're having
the engagement party...
1715
01:36:07,971 --> 01:36:10,681
...for her tonight at the Burke's club.
We're going at 7:30.
1716
01:36:10,849 --> 01:36:12,683
I'm not g-- John, I can't--
Heh, heh, heh.
1717
01:36:13,852 --> 01:36:16,228
Okay, okay, listen to me.
Tasmanian devil.
1718
01:36:16,396 --> 01:36:18,814
-Listen to me. I can't go.
-Why?
1719
01:36:18,982 --> 01:36:22,025
Because I can't go, because I have
a schedule. Because I have--
1720
01:36:23,236 --> 01:36:25,612
What is your deal?
What is your problem?
1721
01:36:25,780 --> 01:36:27,865
For the past couple months
you've been a ghost.
1722
01:36:28,032 --> 01:36:30,200
I can't find you,
and now I come to you with an idea...
1723
01:36:30,368 --> 01:36:32,786
...put myself on the line,
you shoot it down with negativity.
1724
01:36:32,954 --> 01:36:36,039
Your goddamn negativity.
I don't need it. I'm an idea man.
1725
01:36:36,207 --> 01:36:39,710
I thrive on enthusiasm. Don't take
the wind out of my sails. I need you.
1726
01:36:39,878 --> 01:36:43,922
Buddy, you know I love you,
and I hate to see you like this...
1727
01:36:44,090 --> 01:36:45,757
...but we gotta look at reality here.
1728
01:36:45,925 --> 01:36:48,302
There's gonna be Secret Service.
They have pictures of us.
1729
01:36:48,470 --> 01:36:51,054
There's not a shot in hell
we can get into this thing.
1730
01:36:51,222 --> 01:36:53,515
You're so cautious.
I'm more of a risk taker.
1731
01:36:53,683 --> 01:36:57,019
I'm two steps ahead of you
and 1 0 steps ahead of the Secret Service.
1732
01:36:57,187 --> 01:37:01,106
Oh, yeah. 46 extra long,
baba ganoush special.
1733
01:37:02,066 --> 01:37:03,233
We're waiters.
1734
01:37:03,568 --> 01:37:06,236
Buddy, for your own good,
you gotta let this thing go.
1735
01:37:06,404 --> 01:37:09,031
Now, I'm gonna
meet you there at 7:30, okay?
1736
01:37:10,241 --> 01:37:11,825
Okay.
1737
01:37:24,339 --> 01:37:26,215
JOHN: Hey, how do I look?
-Good, man.
1738
01:37:26,382 --> 01:37:28,258
-Good.
-Where's your friend?
1739
01:37:28,426 --> 01:37:30,594
Late, as usual. Is Claire--?
1740
01:37:30,762 --> 01:37:32,429
-Oh, she's looking fine.
-Okay.
1741
01:37:54,786 --> 01:37:58,580
SACK: Next thing you know they pick me
up, put me on the top of this mountain...
1742
01:37:58,748 --> 01:38:01,083
...and they start chanting,
and I realized...
1743
01:38:01,251 --> 01:38:04,461
...they thought I was God.
1744
01:38:05,088 --> 01:38:07,464
And I'll tell you something,
I thought I was too.
1745
01:38:07,632 --> 01:38:09,007
CLEARY:
Claire.
1746
01:38:10,510 --> 01:38:11,552
Let's dance.
1747
01:38:11,719 --> 01:38:13,720
[PEOPLE CLAPPING]
1748
01:38:21,437 --> 01:38:23,438
[BAND PLAYING POLKA MUSIC]
1749
01:38:38,663 --> 01:38:39,663
SACK: You.
-Huh?
1750
01:38:39,831 --> 01:38:41,665
[GRUNTING]
1751
01:38:43,334 --> 01:38:45,419
Let's go, sport.
1752
01:38:48,172 --> 01:38:49,381
Whoa, hold it.
1753
01:38:49,757 --> 01:38:50,799
Sack!
1754
01:38:57,056 --> 01:38:59,766
Okay, Sackmaster, one more.
We should get back to the bar.
1755
01:39:01,227 --> 01:39:02,352
You're right.
1756
01:39:05,440 --> 01:39:08,233
You get near my fiancée again...
1757
01:39:08,401 --> 01:39:09,693
...I'll kill you.
1758
01:39:12,030 --> 01:39:13,071
Let me say one thing.
1759
01:39:19,162 --> 01:39:20,829
You check out the rack
on that bartender?
1760
01:39:20,997 --> 01:39:23,040
Hey, you're the Sack.
She'll come to you.
1761
01:39:23,207 --> 01:39:25,208
Oh, my God--
Yeah, she will. You're right.
1762
01:39:47,940 --> 01:39:49,399
JOHN:
Jeremy!
1763
01:39:49,567 --> 01:39:51,568
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
1764
01:39:52,236 --> 01:39:54,446
Goddamn it.
1765
01:40:03,581 --> 01:40:05,082
Perfect.
1766
01:40:07,251 --> 01:40:09,086
Johnny, wait a second.
1767
01:40:09,253 --> 01:40:10,754
Come on, John!
1768
01:40:10,922 --> 01:40:13,173
Oh, what time is it?
1769
01:40:13,591 --> 01:40:15,759
John, will you wait a second
so I can talk to you?
1770
01:40:15,927 --> 01:40:17,719
Hold on, man.
1771
01:40:17,887 --> 01:40:21,431
Will you stop? I'm not gonna chase you
down the whole fucking street, man.
1772
01:40:21,599 --> 01:40:24,017
-Hold on a second. Let me talk to you.
-About what?
1773
01:40:24,185 --> 01:40:26,978
About how you left me high and dry
to get my ass kicked by Sack again?
1774
01:40:27,146 --> 01:40:28,188
Sack did that to you?
1775
01:40:28,356 --> 01:40:30,941
How long you been sneaking
around with Gloria behind my back?
1776
01:40:31,109 --> 01:40:34,569
I wanted to tell you about Gloria.
I tried to. I didn't know how.
1777
01:40:34,737 --> 01:40:36,863
And I'm sorry that you had
to find out this way.
1778
01:40:37,448 --> 01:40:38,949
I'll level with you.
1779
01:40:39,117 --> 01:40:41,159
I care about her a lot.
1780
01:40:42,787 --> 01:40:44,037
I love her.
1781
01:40:44,622 --> 01:40:46,289
What?
1782
01:40:47,792 --> 01:40:50,127
You're unbelievable. Judas.
1783
01:40:50,294 --> 01:40:52,796
Rule number 5: You're an idiot.
1784
01:40:53,589 --> 01:40:56,174
JEREMY: You're wrong to pull out the
rulebook. There was never rules about this.
1785
01:40:56,342 --> 01:41:00,053
What's the rule about walking away? Never
walk away on a crasher in a funny jacket.
1786
01:41:00,221 --> 01:41:02,889
Rule number 115.
1787
01:41:03,349 --> 01:41:05,350
You're an asshole.
1788
01:41:25,329 --> 01:41:27,330
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV]
1789
01:41:36,340 --> 01:41:38,091
[MAN CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
ON TV]
1790
01:41:38,259 --> 01:41:40,260
[PHONE RINGS]
1791
01:41:41,012 --> 01:41:44,181
JOHN [ON ANSWERING MACHINE]:
This is John. Whatever.
1792
01:41:44,348 --> 01:41:45,348
[MACHINE BEEPS]
1793
01:41:45,516 --> 01:41:47,309
JEREMY:
Hey, John, it's Jeremy
1794
01:41:47,477 --> 01:41:50,145
Just calling to see what you're up to
1795
01:41:50,813 --> 01:41:52,731
Would love to hear back from you, man
1796
01:41:52,899 --> 01:41:54,858
Give me a shout
1797
01:41:55,401 --> 01:41:57,277
We'll do the wedding
in peaches and apricots.
1798
01:41:57,445 --> 01:41:59,571
It's a June wedding,
but if the weather turns nasty...
1799
01:41:59,739 --> 01:42:02,741
-...warm colors will really help you.
-That's right....
1800
01:42:11,000 --> 01:42:12,459
Johnny.
1801
01:42:14,212 --> 01:42:16,129
Johnny, open up, man.
1802
01:42:16,339 --> 01:42:18,924
Does anyone ever feel
like they're just...
1803
01:42:19,091 --> 01:42:20,383
...disappearing?
1804
01:42:21,052 --> 01:42:24,387
I feel so much like giving up.
1805
01:42:24,555 --> 01:42:25,722
[SCREAMING]
1806
01:42:29,602 --> 01:42:31,144
Yeah!
1807
01:42:35,233 --> 01:42:36,233
Get it?
1808
01:42:36,901 --> 01:42:38,235
Put your hands out like this.
1809
01:42:38,402 --> 01:42:40,445
-Claire.
-Please.
1810
01:42:43,366 --> 01:42:45,909
Hi. Thanks for coming.
1811
01:42:46,536 --> 01:42:50,288
MAN 1: Hey!
MAN 2: Get off her! What are you doing?
1812
01:42:51,791 --> 01:42:55,502
-You're supposed to move your hands.
-You're not getting enough attention?
1813
01:42:57,547 --> 01:43:00,549
Love doesn't exist.
That's what I'm trying to tell you guys.
1814
01:43:00,716 --> 01:43:02,300
And I'm not picking on love...
1815
01:43:02,468 --> 01:43:04,553
...because I don't think
friendship exists either.
1816
01:43:08,933 --> 01:43:11,226
Hey! Shout!
1817
01:43:11,394 --> 01:43:13,854
Shout! Put your hands up and shout!
1818
01:43:17,400 --> 01:43:20,151
Are you okay? Get up, buddy.
1819
01:43:20,319 --> 01:43:21,945
Move it on.
1820
01:43:23,406 --> 01:43:26,616
JEREMY: Gloria, I've been doing a lot
of soul-searching lately...
1821
01:43:26,784 --> 01:43:31,121
...and I think that I'm ready
to take, um, this relationship...
1822
01:43:31,289 --> 01:43:33,623
...our relationship, to the next level.
1823
01:43:33,791 --> 01:43:36,877
To what the next level
of the relationship would be.
1824
01:43:37,044 --> 01:43:39,504
-Jeremy. Jeremy!
-Is that good?
1825
01:43:39,672 --> 01:43:41,798
I am so ready to take it
to the next level too.
1826
01:43:41,966 --> 01:43:43,300
Do you wanna watch me with a girl?
1827
01:43:43,467 --> 01:43:46,595
What about those Brazilian twins
we met at the ballgame?
1828
01:43:48,306 --> 01:43:53,143
I was-- I was thinking more along the lines
of an engagement.
1829
01:43:53,311 --> 01:43:55,812
But that sounds terrific.
That sounds unbelievable.
1830
01:43:55,980 --> 01:43:58,315
The Brazilian girls were very nice.
They seemed like--
1831
01:43:58,482 --> 01:44:01,318
Oh, Jeremy, I do!
1832
01:44:01,485 --> 01:44:03,695
-I love you.
-I love you.
1833
01:44:03,863 --> 01:44:06,406
I can't believe that
they're getting married.
1834
01:44:06,574 --> 01:44:08,491
I mean, don't you think
that's really soon?
1835
01:44:08,659 --> 01:44:11,369
Well, you know Gloria. She's impetuous.
1836
01:44:11,537 --> 01:44:13,705
Has to have what she wants
when she wants it.
1837
01:44:13,873 --> 01:44:17,250
Well, we had to give her a Sweet 1 6...
1838
01:44:17,418 --> 01:44:19,753
...on her 1 3th birthday.
You remember that.
1839
01:44:19,921 --> 01:44:21,880
Yeah, I remember, but this is--
1840
01:44:22,048 --> 01:44:23,757
Dad, this is marriage.
1841
01:44:23,925 --> 01:44:26,843
When you know what you want,
you know what you want.
1842
01:44:29,597 --> 01:44:31,389
So...
1843
01:44:32,099 --> 01:44:33,767
...which of these do you like?
1844
01:44:37,855 --> 01:44:39,189
Um....
1845
01:44:39,774 --> 01:44:42,984
Well, I could go with
the tall tapered arrangement...
1846
01:44:43,152 --> 01:44:46,780
...with tulips and freesias and orchids...
1847
01:44:46,948 --> 01:44:51,785
...or I could go with a votive
of roses and lilies, I don't know.
1848
01:44:53,537 --> 01:44:56,539
-Claire bear.
-Yeah?
1849
01:44:57,416 --> 01:44:58,541
What's wrong?
1850
01:45:03,589 --> 01:45:05,215
Look...
1851
01:45:09,345 --> 01:45:14,474
...we have no way of knowing
what lays ahead for us in the future.
1852
01:45:14,642 --> 01:45:17,143
All we can do is...
1853
01:45:17,311 --> 01:45:21,648
...use the information at hand
to make the best decision possible.
1854
01:45:24,568 --> 01:45:26,611
It's gonna be fine.
1855
01:45:26,779 --> 01:45:29,406
-Your whole life is gonna be fine.
-Yeah.
1856
01:45:30,032 --> 01:45:31,866
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
1857
01:45:41,127 --> 01:45:42,961
Happy birthday.
1858
01:45:43,129 --> 01:45:45,380
Can't let a little pissing and moaning
break tradition.
1859
01:45:46,173 --> 01:45:48,591
Right, that's today.
1860
01:45:54,807 --> 01:45:57,726
I see you've been getting
into a little light reading.
1861
01:45:57,893 --> 01:45:59,894
That's not mine.
I bought that for a friend.
1862
01:46:00,062 --> 01:46:01,771
Yeah.
1863
01:46:01,939 --> 01:46:04,357
-So how you been?
-Great. Really spectacular.
1864
01:46:04,525 --> 01:46:06,401
Good. What have you been up to?
1865
01:46:06,569 --> 01:46:09,446
You know, this and that.
Crashing weddings.
1866
01:46:09,613 --> 01:46:12,115
-Alone?
-No, not alone.
1867
01:46:12,283 --> 01:46:14,909
Well, who you been crashing with, then?
1868
01:46:15,453 --> 01:46:16,828
-Chazz.
-Chazz?
1869
01:46:16,996 --> 01:46:19,122
-Chazz.
-John, you don't even know Chazz--
1870
01:46:19,290 --> 01:46:23,043
Yes, I do. He's a great guy.
We've been having a ball together.
1871
01:46:23,210 --> 01:46:26,254
All right, look,
I wanted to come by here...
1872
01:46:26,422 --> 01:46:30,091
...and tell you that I feel really bad about
everything that's happened between us.
1873
01:46:30,259 --> 01:46:31,968
Your friendship means a lot to me.
1874
01:46:33,137 --> 01:46:34,971
I miss seeing you.
1875
01:46:36,515 --> 01:46:38,475
I know, I....
1876
01:46:38,642 --> 01:46:42,479
Look, I'm happy for you.
I'm glad you found someone.
1877
01:46:43,272 --> 01:46:47,317
I can't tell you how glad it makes me
to hear you say that, man.
1878
01:46:47,485 --> 01:46:50,403
Get on in here,
let the big bear get his paws on you.
1879
01:46:50,571 --> 01:46:52,405
You know I love you.
1880
01:46:52,573 --> 01:46:54,157
-It's good to see you.
-Good to see you.
1881
01:46:54,325 --> 01:46:57,077
You sure you've been okay?
This does not look like a guy who's okay.
1882
01:46:57,244 --> 01:47:00,163
-I know. It's like a pigsty.
-It's like a mosh pit in here.
1883
01:47:01,457 --> 01:47:02,624
Listen, I'm getting married.
1884
01:47:02,792 --> 01:47:04,501
-Get out.
-What?
1885
01:47:04,668 --> 01:47:08,004
-You just said that you were happy for me--
-I'm hanging by a thread.
1886
01:47:08,172 --> 01:47:10,340
I'm reading don't-kill-myself books.
1887
01:47:10,508 --> 01:47:12,842
-You said it wasn't yours.
-Don't worry about the book.
1888
01:47:13,010 --> 01:47:16,638
It isn't mine, but I glanced at it.
1889
01:47:17,681 --> 01:47:21,726
John, you've been my friend
for 1 6 years. I'm getting married.
1890
01:47:21,894 --> 01:47:23,603
I need you there to be my best man.
1891
01:47:23,771 --> 01:47:25,188
Kindly leave.
1892
01:47:25,815 --> 01:47:28,316
-I'm try--
-Kindly leave.
1893
01:47:36,534 --> 01:47:40,203
-It'd mean a lot to me if you came.
-Oh, I bet it would, hillbilly.
1894
01:47:40,371 --> 01:47:41,830
What?
1895
01:47:41,997 --> 01:47:44,207
-White trash.
-What are you talking about?
1896
01:47:44,375 --> 01:47:46,668
Out. Out.
1897
01:47:47,461 --> 01:47:50,213
You better get your ass to that wedding.
1898
01:48:00,641 --> 01:48:03,810
-Yeah?
-Hi, is Chazz here?
1899
01:48:05,437 --> 01:48:08,106
Chazz, there's someone
here to see you!
1900
01:48:09,400 --> 01:48:12,527
Pick up your fucking skateboard!
1901
01:48:12,695 --> 01:48:14,696
[MUSIC PLAYS ON TV]
1902
01:48:19,994 --> 01:48:21,327
[DOOR SLAMS]
1903
01:48:33,632 --> 01:48:35,758
Chazz?
1904
01:48:38,512 --> 01:48:40,597
What the fuck do you want?
1905
01:48:40,973 --> 01:48:43,766
I'm John Beckwith.
I'm friends with Jeremy Grey.
1906
01:48:44,518 --> 01:48:47,437
Goddamn it, why didn't you say so?
1907
01:48:47,605 --> 01:48:50,106
Come here, brother. Give me a hug.
1908
01:48:50,482 --> 01:48:53,401
Bring it in for the real thing.
1909
01:48:55,404 --> 01:48:57,739
Have a seat. Yeah.
1910
01:49:00,034 --> 01:49:01,367
Goddamn you.
1911
01:49:01,535 --> 01:49:03,536
I almost numchucked you,
you don't even realize.
1912
01:49:03,871 --> 01:49:06,122
Ouch.
1913
01:49:06,290 --> 01:49:07,665
Yeah.
1914
01:49:07,833 --> 01:49:10,710
-Is this your place?
-No. No, no, no.
1915
01:49:10,878 --> 01:49:12,712
-No, I live with my ma.
-Oh.
1916
01:49:12,880 --> 01:49:14,380
Yeah. You hungry?
1917
01:49:14,548 --> 01:49:16,674
Hey, Ma! Can we get some meatloaf?
1918
01:49:16,842 --> 01:49:19,510
Chazz, I think I'm okay.
I had a bite right before I came over.
1919
01:49:19,678 --> 01:49:21,554
-Thank you.
-You sure?
1920
01:49:21,722 --> 01:49:22,972
So how's my protégé?
1921
01:49:23,140 --> 01:49:26,142
-Jeremy, boy, he--
-Yeah, J-bone.
1922
01:49:26,310 --> 01:49:29,103
J-bone is-- Believe it or not,
he's getting married.
1923
01:49:29,271 --> 01:49:30,855
What?
1924
01:49:31,023 --> 01:49:33,024
[LAUGHING]
1925
01:49:33,817 --> 01:49:35,985
What an idiot!
1926
01:49:36,153 --> 01:49:38,655
Oh, what a loser!
1927
01:49:38,822 --> 01:49:42,075
Good. Good. More for me and you.
1928
01:49:42,284 --> 01:49:45,119
More for-- More for, uh--
1929
01:49:48,415 --> 01:49:49,832
I gotta go.
1930
01:49:50,000 --> 01:49:51,542
CHAZZ:
Hey, babe, yeah.
1931
01:49:51,710 --> 01:49:54,128
You do whatever you have to do.
1932
01:50:04,682 --> 01:50:07,058
-Thanks.
-Okay, be strong.
1933
01:50:11,063 --> 01:50:13,189
I'm just living the dream.
1934
01:50:13,357 --> 01:50:15,191
[LAUGHING]
1935
01:50:16,360 --> 01:50:19,070
That's unbelievable.
1936
01:50:19,238 --> 01:50:21,155
Oh, man, I feel like, "Wow!"
1937
01:50:21,323 --> 01:50:23,741
It's like I come over,
I don't know what to expect.
1938
01:50:23,909 --> 01:50:27,412
I gotta be honest, I come in, it's like--
A little like I'm trying to get my bearings.
1939
01:50:27,579 --> 01:50:30,623
There's cartoons, your mom,
and it's like, you still got it!
1940
01:50:30,833 --> 01:50:34,669
Look at her.
"Just living the dream," I love that.
1941
01:50:34,837 --> 01:50:37,088
I will have some meatloaf.
Let's have some meatloaf.
1942
01:50:37,256 --> 01:50:39,215
-You want some? I knew you'd come--
-Yes.
1943
01:50:39,383 --> 01:50:42,635
Hey, Mom! The meatloaf!
1944
01:50:42,803 --> 01:50:45,680
We want it now! The meatloaf!
1945
01:50:47,308 --> 01:50:51,311
What is she doing? I never know
what she's doing back there.
1946
01:50:51,478 --> 01:50:53,730
"Just living the dream."
Where did you get that girl?
1947
01:50:53,897 --> 01:50:55,481
-She's hot.
-I got her yesterday.
1948
01:50:55,649 --> 01:50:56,899
-Yesterday?
-Yeah.
1949
01:50:57,234 --> 01:50:59,569
I rode my bike over
to a cemetery nearby.
1950
01:51:00,404 --> 01:51:03,114
Her boyfriend just died.
1951
01:51:04,033 --> 01:51:06,200
-You met her at a funeral?
-Yeah.
1952
01:51:06,368 --> 01:51:09,245
Dude died in a hang-gliding accident.
What an idiot!
1953
01:51:09,413 --> 01:51:11,414
[LAUGHING]
1954
01:51:12,124 --> 01:51:16,502
Ahh! "I'm hang-gliding!
Honey, take a good picture-- I'm dead!"
1955
01:51:18,297 --> 01:51:20,381
What a freak.
1956
01:51:20,799 --> 01:51:23,926
You met her at a funeral.
1957
01:51:24,094 --> 01:51:28,473
Yeah, I'll throw in a wedding every
now and then, but funerals are insane.
1958
01:51:28,640 --> 01:51:31,601
The chicks are so horny,
it's not even fair.
1959
01:51:31,769 --> 01:51:33,603
It's like fishing with dynamite.
1960
01:51:33,771 --> 01:51:37,106
-Horny?
-Yeah, crazy horny.
1961
01:51:37,274 --> 01:51:40,568
I just-- At a funeral?
1962
01:51:40,736 --> 01:51:44,614
Grief is nature's
most powerful aphrodisiac.
1963
01:51:45,366 --> 01:51:47,909
-Look it up.
-I didn't know that.
1964
01:51:48,077 --> 01:51:49,786
That's what I've learned.
1965
01:51:50,537 --> 01:51:54,123
Ma, the meatloaf! Fuck!
1966
01:51:54,291 --> 01:51:56,626
Saturday-- I got one Saturday.
1967
01:51:56,794 --> 01:51:58,127
You're coming with!
1968
01:51:58,295 --> 01:52:00,713
Chazz, I'm sorry, I don't--
1969
01:52:00,881 --> 01:52:04,467
I'm not judging you,
because I think you're an innovator...
1970
01:52:05,969 --> 01:52:08,388
...but there's no way
I'm ready for that.
1971
01:52:09,223 --> 01:52:13,184
PRIEST: A time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted.
1972
01:52:13,352 --> 01:52:15,645
A time to kill and a time to heal.
1973
01:52:16,021 --> 01:52:19,816
A time to break down
and a time to build up.
1974
01:52:19,983 --> 01:52:23,486
A time to weep and a time to laugh.
1975
01:52:23,654 --> 01:52:25,655
[SOBBING]
1976
01:52:27,825 --> 01:52:30,785
PRIEST: A time to cast away stones....
CHAZZ: It's so senseless.
1977
01:52:30,953 --> 01:52:32,870
Damn you, Roger.
1978
01:52:35,833 --> 01:52:36,833
Roger.
1979
01:52:37,084 --> 01:52:39,085
[CHAZZ CONTINUES SOBBING]
1980
01:52:40,087 --> 01:52:42,088
Oh!
1981
01:52:42,256 --> 01:52:44,132
Damn you, Roger!
1982
01:52:44,299 --> 01:52:46,175
Damn it! Damn you!
1983
01:52:46,343 --> 01:52:48,136
I'm in pain.
1984
01:52:48,303 --> 01:52:50,888
Try to fight it. Try to fight it.
1985
01:52:51,348 --> 01:52:53,266
I don't know about you people,
but I'm in pain.
1986
01:52:53,434 --> 01:52:55,893
I know that there is no good in them...
1987
01:52:56,061 --> 01:52:59,355
...for man to rejoice
and to do good in his life...
1988
01:53:01,191 --> 01:53:04,986
...for that which befalleth
the sons of men, befalleth beasts.
1989
01:53:06,071 --> 01:53:08,614
Even one thing befalleth...
1990
01:53:08,782 --> 01:53:12,034
...as the one dieth, so dieth the other.
1991
01:53:12,202 --> 01:53:14,662
Yea, they all have one breath...
1992
01:53:14,830 --> 01:53:18,583
...so that a man hath no preeminence
above the beast.
1993
01:53:19,293 --> 01:53:21,752
While each man thinks he knows love...
1994
01:53:21,920 --> 01:53:25,673
...love, we have learned, is a mystery.
1995
01:53:26,592 --> 01:53:30,136
That's what makes today so special.
1996
01:53:31,889 --> 01:53:34,515
We witness two people
choosing to marry...
1997
01:53:35,225 --> 01:53:38,895
...ones they truly love.
1998
01:53:39,521 --> 01:53:40,897
[DOOR SLAMS]
1999
01:53:46,320 --> 01:53:47,570
Whoa, whoa, hey!
2000
01:53:47,738 --> 01:53:48,905
Hey! Hey!
2001
01:53:51,408 --> 01:53:52,867
He's the best man.
2002
01:53:55,329 --> 01:53:56,746
Yeah.
2003
01:53:56,914 --> 01:53:58,915
Thank you.
2004
01:54:15,265 --> 01:54:16,766
I don't believe this.
2005
01:54:27,861 --> 01:54:29,237
Hat in hand.
2006
01:54:29,404 --> 01:54:30,821
I'm sorry I'm late.
2007
01:54:31,323 --> 01:54:33,324
I'm glad you're here.
2008
01:54:33,492 --> 01:54:36,702
And I'm sorry I called you white trash.
I didn't--
2009
01:54:36,870 --> 01:54:39,539
-John, apology accepted.
-Okay.
2010
01:54:39,706 --> 01:54:42,792
And I'm sorry I called you a hillbilly,
I don't even know what that meant.
2011
01:54:42,960 --> 01:54:45,044
John, it's okay.
2012
01:54:45,212 --> 01:54:46,879
Do you mind if I get married now?
2013
01:54:47,047 --> 01:54:48,881
-No, go ahead.
- [MOUTHING] Okay.
2014
01:54:50,217 --> 01:54:51,968
Hi, Todd.
2015
01:54:53,971 --> 01:54:56,514
Although we may choose
whom we marry...
2016
01:54:57,140 --> 01:54:58,599
-...we don't always choose....
-Psst.
2017
01:54:58,767 --> 01:55:02,812
[WHISPERING] Claire, I'm not here to
bother you, I just came to be his best man.
2018
01:55:02,980 --> 01:55:05,815
Don't worry about me.
Pretend I'm not here.
2019
01:55:06,650 --> 01:55:07,817
[MOUTHING]
Okay.
2020
01:55:08,860 --> 01:55:10,236
I'm not a nut.
2021
01:55:13,115 --> 01:55:15,783
You look really pretty, by the way.
That's all I'm gonna say.
2022
01:55:18,704 --> 01:55:20,538
I can't stop thinking about you.
2023
01:55:20,706 --> 01:55:22,707
It's all I think about
and I don't know what to do.
2024
01:55:22,874 --> 01:55:24,166
JEREMY: Ahem.
-I'm sorry.
2025
01:55:26,837 --> 01:55:29,338
O'NEIL:
You see, love is mysterious....
2026
01:55:29,506 --> 01:55:31,132
God, I miss you.
2027
01:55:33,760 --> 01:55:35,595
[WHISPERING]
Okay, excuse me, I'm sorry.
2028
01:55:37,264 --> 01:55:40,266
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Claire, hold it a second. Claire, Claire.
2029
01:55:40,434 --> 01:55:42,518
Claire, will you wait just a second?
2030
01:55:42,686 --> 01:55:46,939
All I wanted was a second alone
so I could try to explain things.
2031
01:55:47,274 --> 01:55:49,025
But I've never gotten that chance.
2032
01:55:50,193 --> 01:55:52,528
Maybe I don't deserve it.
2033
01:55:52,696 --> 01:55:54,030
So here goes.
2034
01:55:54,531 --> 01:55:59,327
For longer than I care to remember,
my business has been crashing weddings.
2035
01:55:59,703 --> 01:56:01,829
I crashed weddings to meet girls.
2036
01:56:01,997 --> 01:56:03,873
Business was good.
2037
01:56:04,041 --> 01:56:06,042
I met a lot of girls.
2038
01:56:06,209 --> 01:56:09,670
And it was childish, it was juvenile--
2039
01:56:09,838 --> 01:56:11,297
And pathetic.
2040
01:56:11,673 --> 01:56:15,426
Yeah, that's probably
the best word to describe it.
2041
01:56:15,594 --> 01:56:18,304
But you know what?
It also led me to you.
2042
01:56:18,889 --> 01:56:21,599
So it's hard for me
to completely regret it.
2043
01:56:21,767 --> 01:56:25,561
And that person that you met back
at your folks' place, that was really me.
2044
01:56:25,729 --> 01:56:29,106
Maybe not my name--
I'm John Beckwith, by the way.
2045
01:56:29,274 --> 01:56:30,650
--or my job...
2046
01:56:30,817 --> 01:56:32,401
...but the feelings we felt...
2047
01:56:32,903 --> 01:56:36,697
...the jokes, the stupid laughs,
that was all me.
2048
01:56:36,865 --> 01:56:39,575
I've changed. I've realized something.
2049
01:56:39,743 --> 01:56:42,828
-I crashed a funeral earlier, and I--
-Wha...?
2050
01:56:42,996 --> 01:56:44,038
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
2051
01:56:44,206 --> 01:56:46,207
Oh, Jesus.
2052
01:56:47,209 --> 01:56:50,002
It wasn't my idea.
I was basically dragged to it.
2053
01:56:50,170 --> 01:56:53,839
I went with Chazz, who you forgot
to tell me is totally insane.
2054
01:56:54,424 --> 01:56:58,302
He also might be a genius, because
it actually does work. He's cleaning up.
2055
01:56:58,470 --> 01:57:00,930
CLAIRE: John.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
2056
01:57:01,098 --> 01:57:02,556
That's neither here nor there.
2057
01:57:02,724 --> 01:57:05,851
And I see this widow and she's a wreck.
2058
01:57:06,019 --> 01:57:09,271
She's just lost the person
she loves the most in this world.
2059
01:57:10,440 --> 01:57:13,734
And I realized we're all gonna
lose the people we love.
2060
01:57:14,236 --> 01:57:16,487
That's the way it is.
2061
01:57:16,655 --> 01:57:20,282
But not me, not right now.
2062
01:57:20,450 --> 01:57:23,285
Because the person I love the most
is standing right here...
2063
01:57:24,329 --> 01:57:26,455
...and I'm not ready to lose you yet.
2064
01:57:26,957 --> 01:57:30,710
Claire, I'm not standing here
asking you to marry me.
2065
01:57:30,877 --> 01:57:33,129
I'm just asking you...
2066
01:57:33,296 --> 01:57:35,548
...not to marry him.
2067
01:57:36,633 --> 01:57:37,925
And maybe take a walk.
2068
01:57:38,093 --> 01:57:40,052
Take a chance.
2069
01:57:41,096 --> 01:57:43,973
Wow. Wow!
2070
01:57:45,559 --> 01:57:50,229
This congregation really doesn't care about
how depressing your life is, John, okay?
2071
01:57:50,397 --> 01:57:54,400
Claire, baby, could you go back up
on the altar so we can have a wedding?
2072
01:57:56,653 --> 01:57:58,654
I'm sorry.
2073
01:57:59,114 --> 01:58:00,156
I am.
2074
01:58:00,323 --> 01:58:01,782
SACK:
What?
2075
01:58:03,160 --> 01:58:04,785
I can't marry you.
2076
01:58:07,914 --> 01:58:09,832
[CHUCKLES]
2077
01:58:10,000 --> 01:58:11,333
Secretary...
2078
01:58:11,501 --> 01:58:14,170
...your daughter's a little....
2079
01:58:16,882 --> 01:58:19,842
Sack, I've always liked you...
2080
01:58:20,552 --> 01:58:24,847
...so I put up with your stories
about scallops and otters...
2081
01:58:25,015 --> 01:58:28,350
...and it's all good because
you seemed to make her happy...
2082
01:58:28,518 --> 01:58:31,228
...and that's what matters to me most.
2083
01:58:31,396 --> 01:58:34,523
But this is her decision.
2084
01:58:37,110 --> 01:58:39,653
I stand by my daughter.
2085
01:58:39,821 --> 01:58:41,030
You don't know shit.
2086
01:58:41,198 --> 01:58:43,365
-Claire, go back up on the altar.
-No.
2087
01:58:43,533 --> 01:58:46,327
Claire! Claire, get up
on that altar right now.
2088
01:58:46,495 --> 01:58:47,703
Stop it.
2089
01:58:47,871 --> 01:58:49,997
Claire, get your fucking ass
on that altar right now!
2090
01:58:50,165 --> 01:58:52,750
Wow, getting a nice preview
of what marriage is gonna be like...
2091
01:58:52,918 --> 01:58:54,001
...with Ike Turner here.
2092
01:58:56,046 --> 01:58:57,797
-Sack!
-Oh, God, here it goes.
2093
01:58:57,964 --> 01:58:59,840
[GRUNTING]
2094
01:59:00,008 --> 01:59:01,425
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
2095
01:59:01,593 --> 01:59:03,803
Share that with the Dalai Lama, jackass.
2096
01:59:05,889 --> 01:59:08,557
-I think I had him.
-I know you did.
2097
01:59:08,725 --> 01:59:10,226
Just go kiss the broad.
2098
01:59:12,813 --> 01:59:14,814
[MOANING]
2099
01:59:21,488 --> 01:59:23,864
Would it be a total cliché
if I kissed you right now?
2100
01:59:25,242 --> 01:59:26,826
Yes.
2101
01:59:35,877 --> 01:59:38,087
Just wonderful.
2102
01:59:39,464 --> 01:59:42,007
So damn beautiful.
2103
01:59:43,510 --> 01:59:45,886
With every death there comes rebirth.
2104
01:59:46,054 --> 01:59:48,138
-It's the circle of life.
-Oh.
2105
01:59:49,266 --> 01:59:50,391
We're gonna be all right.
2106
01:59:51,518 --> 01:59:53,227
Hey.
2107
01:59:58,692 --> 02:00:00,651
[CRYING]
2108
02:00:00,819 --> 02:00:02,319
Hey.
2109
02:00:05,574 --> 02:00:06,949
[LAUGHING]
2110
02:00:07,117 --> 02:00:09,743
-So, what's next?
-I'm starving.
2111
02:00:09,911 --> 02:00:12,371
Fujimora wedding, 3 p.m.
2112
02:00:12,539 --> 02:00:13,789
Hey, hey.
2113
02:00:13,957 --> 02:00:16,709
I'm just throwing it out there.
I'm just saying, just....
2114
02:00:18,128 --> 02:00:19,962
They would have great tempura.
2115
02:00:20,130 --> 02:00:22,381
We don't even have a back-story,
I just....
2116
02:00:22,549 --> 02:00:25,134
-No, forget it, forget it.
-I'm talking out loud.
2117
02:00:26,303 --> 02:00:30,055
We're a folk-singing group
from Salt Lake City.
2118
02:00:30,223 --> 02:00:32,099
Yeah.
2119
02:00:32,434 --> 02:00:33,642
Yes, we are.
2120
02:00:36,646 --> 02:00:38,647
[SCREAMING]
2121
02:06:54,357 --> 02:06:56,358
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
2122
02:06:56,526 --> 02:06:58,527
[ENGLISH SDH]
166409
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