Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Curse these lands.

And 1,000 curses upon you, foul God!

I didn't mean it!

This is a tale of carnal barbarity with an arable twist,

I call it I Put It In Her Pumpkin Patch.

Aetheled, I think these beasts have had enough wine.

They aren't getting any drunker.

Get everyone into position.

No quarter.

No quarter.

Wine, cheese.

Think about things used to be.

This is so much better.

More wine?

Careless whore.

I'm all sticky here.

I need to get out of these sodden robes.

Ah.

Ah.

I think she likes you, brother.

How about some more mead instead?

Miranda, some more mead for the gentleman.

Rather touchy, these harlots of yours.

What happened to the friendly girls you sent us last month?

She's new.

Daisy.

I'll see you shortly, my lady.

Indeed you will.

Look at them there, an old man and his idiots.

We should be feasting my ascension not theirs.

Oh it is a travesty, but your time will come, brother.

Oh it will brother, oh it will.

Do you know how difficult it is?

To run a celebration of magnitude of Silas's meager budget?

One day, I will be in charge.

But until that day comes, why not celebrate.

Eat, drink, imbibe, indulge.

And as the Saint Friar Brotherhood proclaimed,

let's get fucked.

♪ He died

♪ He died

♪ He died

Thank you, very much.

I never dreamed we'd get this close.

The Head Abbott and his lackey are mine, understood?

I remember.

Aetheled, where is your sister?

Please, please, I don't normally get the pretty girls.

This is very, very, very exciting for me.

And no, but we shouldn't, we shouldn't be down here.

No, no, there's a, there's steps, there's a room down here.

- Yes, yes, shh, shh. - Sleeping quarters.

Shh, brother.

Brother, brother.

Eggbert.

Brother Eggbert.

- Yes - Yes.

What I have is just for you.

Watch it harlot, or I will songs of your damned clumsiness

that will last an age.

Ah.

You can start with that lute player if you like?

I might.

Oh, way to go!

Don't worry, it's gonna be fine.

Just stay close me or Rosalind.

Your sister is missing.

I'm not waiting any longer.

Seren can catch up.

Alright you bastards?

Alright you bastards!

Yeah, chicken!

I want chicken!

Wine, give me all the wine.

I want all of the wine.

Ooh.

You intending staying the night?

I mean this is great, but,

I mean I think I prefer Thaddeus's breakfasts.

Ah.

Where are the um?

Thaddeus?

Where are the knives?

Ah.

Brother Thadeus,

I think has been mixing mead with his wine again.

Has anyone seen my good friend Brother Eggbert?

There is a Lord out there now.

Yeah, we'll add him to the list too.

We might have been able to get away

with killing a few monks,

but that is a Lord, it changes everything.

Look I'm gonna carry on with my little plan

- and you're gonna just... - No.

Just stay away from them.

I need time to think.

Wench.

Oi, chicken.

Where did you get these girls from?

What news from the west?

Have you not seen the flames?

Brannuck, burned.

Surely not, men, men have tried it never works.

Yeah well, we got it right this time.

Go see for yourself.

Give us that.

What is that?

Real man.

Fuck off harlot.

Wait.

What is this?

Wine.

That is not wine.

That is wine.

This is blood.

This is the one.

I saw her go off with Brother Eggbert and Brother Thaddeus.

Eggbert?

It is blood on her garments my Lord.

Who's blood is this?

I tell you.

I should warn you.

Captain Howe is very sensitive about being lied to.

Try again.

This is indeed blood.

And one of our knives.

Let's make this cunt talk.

Whore.

Where are the brothers?

Tell me!

Let's see if this whore

has the skill to do trade without a face.

Now.

Ah, stop!

Stop, no, stop.

Fucking hell.

- Thaddeus. - No, no.

Come on Thaddeus.

- No, no. - Thaddeus you're stupid.

Move, Thaddeus.

- I just want to... - Get out of the way.

Get in, get in.

You?

I mean.

We killed you.

We, we killed all of you.

You don't, you don't have to kill.

You don't have to.

Ah, please don't, please.

I've been looking for you.

Come here.

Spread 'em.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Its okay.

Shh, shh.

I can't do this.

I don't want to die.

Remember me?

This is for calling me a cunt.

Thaddeus, where did you find these harlots?

The purple faced wench said she'd give me a discount.

- I've already been... - Shut up.

We need to get word to my father and he can send help.

I want the head of everyone of those bitches,

mounted on the wall on fucking spikes.

Would you stop that fucking panting?

Get in the corner, you crying little wimp.

Silas, shut him up.

Let me out of here please.

It is all over, there is no need for more violence.

Please come out and we can discuss

an appropriate conclusion to this little imbroglio.

You can trust us.

They're gonna kill us.

They're gonna kill us all.

Dear Lord.

What do these women want?

I dunno.

Hello ladies, what can I do for you?

I would very much like for you to come out

and speak with me.

I'm sure you can understand

that's not exactly an attractive proposition for us.

I think we'll stay in here, if it's all the same to you.

You do seem tightly sealed in there.

However we have fire and patience.

No one would object to more meat under the flame.

Get me out of here please.

Get me out of here.

Get me out of here please.

Please.

Whatever it takes.

Stand firm brother, God will deliver us.

Shut your fucking mouth.

Remember your place.

Now gets some clothes on, you're embarrassing yourself.

You do not shut the fuck up,

I will cut your dick off and feed it to my dogs.

Listen carefully.

I am the Lord Robert Osmund.

If you don't know who I am,

then you should know who my father is.

He's the Earl of these lands.

Now, your fight is with these gentleman,

not with me, is that correct?

Hmm.

So you can agree that this is

a difficult situation for the both of us.

Cowering like rats.

Quite.

But regardless, I think that we can come to some agreement

that satisfies us both.

And what might that arrangement be?

I open this door.

And I leave without further conflict

with you or your people.

And if this door remains open, so be it.

That sounds entirely satisfying.

My Lord, what is the plan?

Shut up.

Stay close to me, that's all.

Okay.

We're coming out!

No, no, no, no, no!

I'll fucking kill her, I'll fucking kill her.

Get out of my way.

Calm down.

I'll fucking kill her.

You fuck.

I can take care of it.

Brother.

I can feel his cock on me.

Silence Jezzabelle.

Brother.

You're fucking up my plan.

Remember?

Tell me why you're here?

They took our families, sold them.

We're here to...

We're here to take their lives as revenge.

Yeah I know, I don't care about that.

That's two favors I've done for you.

I think you should let me go.

Your sword, drop it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You kill us, you'll never see your families again.

They are all dead.

Your family may be dead.

What of the others?

- We can work... - Be silent.

You kill me now and you'll never know.

Never.

Live with that if you please.

Why doesn't she listen to him?

We should let him speak.

He's lying.

He must die.

Aetheled.

We should let him speak.

He is lying.

He must die.

That ring, where did you get it?

This particular individual

would've been traded to north men.

Taken to their lands I presume.

Presume?

He knows nothing.

No.

At dawn, there is a boat arriving from the north.

We sold them to Skilding.

You trade with the Skilding on my land?

Yes.

Do you speak their language?

We had an interpreter.

Brother Selwyn.

Him.

None of them can help us.

No, no, no, we can.

We can.

Trade needs no words.

Just goods.

What goods?

I might be able to help with that.

Which of you beasts has keys to the cells?

It looks like we're staying over.

Get these pigs out of my sight.

Oh hello darling, you missed us?

Oh you listen 'ere now good girl,

you gotta set us free now alright?

You set us free right,

and we'll forget that fucked off last time.

Yeah?

Is this really necessary?

This is for your protection.

Yeah of course it is.

I know who this is.

Brutus Skargil of Hilvenstoe.

I am gonna fuck you up the ass.

What can I say?

My people love me apparently.

Didn't I have you beheaded?

I mean I certainly meant to have him beheaded.

May I ask you gentleman

how you found yourselves in this predicament?

It was those bastards upstairs wasn't it?

Invited us in for an ale,

had a couple of drinks and then we're all floored.

Yeah, I'm no bastard lightweight either.

I barely got started and I was out after a single serving.

Drugged my monks, that's how they do it.

Do what?

The brothers were going to sell you as slaves,

to the Skilding.

Can you believe that?

What the fuck did you just say?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy love.

I'm gonna cut that tongue of yours, out of your head.

This tongue's done a lot more

than master 1,000 languages.

Come on Brutus, I'm right here.

Shut up.

Shackle the Lord.

Thanks.

A boat of north men will be more formidable

than the Lord's guards.

Yes, these men, particularly a Lord,

could be bartered.

Bartered for what?

Let us go now.

Yeah let us go, you fucking bitch.

Here lads listen up.

There's a good price on this mans head.

And you get it as soon as we get out of here,

how does that sound?

What's going on?

The north men, talk.

They'll approach from the sea.

Not on a night like tonight.

I told you, he lies.

No, no, no, no, it's true.

They arrive at dawn.

You're one of them.

You, you don't.

I'm in a band.

I'll play you a song.

Fuck.

No, please, please.

Everybody needs an instrument.

I knew he was stalling.

More guests.

None are expected.

My mead guy came on Wednesday.

They're on about something.

Hmm.

I don't understand what you're saying.

I don't understand.

Fuck this.

Daisy.

I don't speak your language.

Oh, these aren't your friends.

I think they're looking for a boat.

Boat, boat?

There are none.

Boat?

Are you okay?

Hmm-mm.

Are you sure?

Yeah I'm fine.

They would be proud of you.

We'll see.

They don't seem happy with what they saw down there.

It's definitely not a way out.

It's just some rocks for us to get smashed against.

Any luck finding out why they're here?

Maybe we should get that translator from downstairs?

Take him with you.

Oi.

Oi.

Boat.

Ah.

No.

You've gotta tap there.

Tap where?

The rock.

The rock.

Are you trying to rip me off?

What with pebbles and bits of twig?

You can buy a lot of twigs where I come from.

How's your leg?

Better than your fucking ass is gonna be

when I get these chains off your bastard.

Who's this dickhead now?

It's our Skilding captors I presume.

I don't think so lads.

So you do speak their language?

A little, I've been around.

I suppose this makes me a more valuable trade, don't it?

Now!

Easy darling.

On your toes.

I'm very sorry, you know.

Keep your distance, understand?

Hmm-mm.

Oh, tough punters these ain't they?

Shame they haven't obviously met an experienced

finger smith before though eh?

What the fucks a finger smith?

Time we made a sharp exit eh?

What the fuck is that?

They want a boat.

We don't have boats.

We're not, we're not sailors.

We're men of the cloth.

He seems to question your manhood, brother.

What do they want with a boat?

To simply leave these lands.

There's a boat coming at dawn.

It's coming, it's crewed by your...

My head.

I paid good money for you bitches

and all you do is beat me up.

When the other Skilding get here.

Skilding?

I think what he's trying to say, brother,

these are no Skilding.

They're uh, Volsom.

And they've been at war with your Skilding friends

for years apparently.

Skilding.

Okay, uh, that's something about

pulling eyes out of sockets and uh, pissing in them.

No, he means fucking them.

In the eye sockets.

How romantic.

Huh?

Skilding.

When will your Skilding dogs arrive?

Dawn, they arrive at dawn.

Well that solves my problem at least.

What did he say?

He said he'll slay the Skilding,

take their boat and leave for home.

You can speak to them?

These Skilding?

We need you to speak to the Skilding for us.

Get information.

Make words for you.

The cunt that left us here chained,

to trade, no, no, no, to barter,

those are the words you use aren't they?

I'd rather have a rusty sword shoved up my ass.

That can be arranged.

Currently we are all united with the same concern.

I would have done.

- I made a big mistake. - Do you ever think?

I didn't think.

I thought they were gonna be on our side.

- What's going on? - Shh.

Look, we need you to help us.

Don't quote me on this, but I think he's saying

tree bastard and he's gonna let them in or something.

- I can't... - Why?

Something about thinning numbers or something.

I can't quite work it out.

Oh shit.

Right now.

We need to get away from the door.

Get away from that door.

Now!

- Oh yes. - Oh it's beautiful.

Lads, please just uncuff me.

Just take the keys, put them in the cuffs, unlock them.

We'll leave, go our separate ways.

It's straightforward, please.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh yeah, alright, alright.

Nice stuff with all the Brutus thing.

But I'm gonna be well on my toes

with this being legal entrapment and stuff.

Please, let me out.

- Could you just... - Oh, look.

Hey, that was mine that.

No it's not.

Is it yours, is it?

Yes.

Is that yours?

No.

Oh that's mine that is.

What the fuck was that?

The Lord's guard come to rescue us?

You're an idiot Thaddeus.

No one knows of our predicament.

The Lord's guard with their leftovers.

Our only hope are the Skilding traders.

Gentleman, apologies.

Things seem to be coming to an end

and I was wondering whether I would see coin

for this evening's work.

I will sing songs of your generosity and bravery

in memoriam of course.

You think these raiders want to be entertained

you numpt-headed fool.

You share our fate.

What?

What?

What is going on?

I have no idea who is at the door,

but they're coming in.

Do as he says.

Sword.

Barricade the doors once they're in.

Be ready.

Aetheled, he's getting back up!

Barricade the doors, now.

Use the cart.

Oi, oi, move it!

Fuck!

I'll do it.

Fucking bastards.

I'm fucking gonna cut your fucking gizzards out,

you cunty fucks.

Fuck!

No, no.

Fuck.

Help, help, help me.

Oh God, help me!

I beg you please help me.

What the fuck?

Come on.

Fuck!

Please make it stop!

Now listen carefully Brutus old boy.

Oh help me!

Ow!

Aim for the eyes.

Oh, who let him out?

You're not clear yet.

I've got one trapped downstairs.

He suggests we finish it off.

Finish off.

What are they?

Let's find out.

We have to leave now, while it's clear.

We need to know what's on the other side of those doors

before we make our escape.

We need to go now, they're gonna kill us.

Be silent you imbecile.

- We're going to die here. - We're not gonna die.

Just calm yourself down.

You're not thinking

of putting me back in there are you?

Seren.

Leave it.

Come on the bastard.

Seren stop it.

It's not interested in us.

Oh dear.

Now, you wouldn't know this about us,

but we're not the forgiving sort.

Where's our coin?

And several sacks of powder, and I want them and all.

I'm gonna cut your dick off, give me the knife.

He fucking will and all.

Oh aye he will, open it me for me Davin.

Hey listen lads,

these two here are more than a bit of coin to us.

Now listen, we'll give you a little nick on the cheek,

to get your attention.

Now you're gonna tell me exactly where

that secret passage is alright?

This one is mine.

I'll trade you for the fat, nude one.

Come with me.

You must be the one that took my keys.

Easy doll, it's nothing personal.

Ask him what's going on?

These demons only want them, why?

He says never mind that.

He wants to know if there's another way in or out

that isn't swarming with tree bastards.

The south wall to the seafront,

but he already knows that.

A way out?

Walter, we'll take it.

It is no way out.

This filth aren't in possession of any boat.

We can swim.

Your bodies will be crushed against the rocks.

Have you seen the weather?

I don't care for your opinion woman.

Where's this exit?

In the basement, near the cells is a small passageway.

It leads to the docks.

He requests that you stay.

He wants you to be human shields.

Human shields?

Yeah, yeah, fantastic, great idea.

He can fuck off.

Tell him after we've gone.

Come on Dav.

Do I look like a human shield to you?

He's a big fan of yours, that's all you need to know love.

Boat.

Boat.

Boat.

You owe us an explanation.

Speak.

If we're going to survive this night, you must...

I do no favors for you wench.

In case you forget, you left us in there to trade.

As slaves.

Watch yourself, I've buried far stronger men than you.

Put that fucking toy down.

I have no warnings, so consider yourself special.

Are you so foolish

that you fail to see just how useful I am to you.

Your threats are fucking hollow wench.

I only need your tongue.

Wait, wait, just wait.

Alright look, one thing has been established.

We do not trust you, or you.

And you don't trust us, nor should you I suppose.

But one thing is pretty fucking clear.

We've all got bigger problems to deal with.

Now talk.

Oh, on second thought.

I reckon we can do it.

It's look a bit rough.

No it'll be fine.

Where we gonna swim to?

We don't have to swim far.

Just out and round a bit and in a bit, it'll be fine.

Fuck this, I'm off.

Come on!

Come on!

Fucking hell.

Davin!

Dav!

Davin!

Bugger this.

He says they're not demons,

they're cursed men.

They protect the Talisman of Thorns.

Treasure, resting in a place of.

Resting in a place of darkness, death.

The Volsom ventured to these lands but...

His boat.

And all his men, gone.

As they made their way south there was.

There were tales of fire in the sky, west of here.

The place of death.

Plants alive.

Rending the flesh of men.

Brannuck.

Brannuck.

I was born there.

Delivered from the skies, that's what they said.

Eight winters ago,

I was only little but I remember it.

I remember the sound of it.

The thunder, it was so loud,

and the light, blinding.

I thought it was gonna be the end of the world.

My mother.

My mother.

My father tried to take Brannuck once.

Unsuccessfully.

Lost a lot of men that day.

And those that came back,

they were not fit to serve my father.

I mean these men were broken and twisted, insane.

They'd tell these stories.

These, strange stories about men taking on men.

Men becoming one with the desolate landscape.

I found the stories funny.

Why wouldn't I?

I mean, why would I believe these mad men?

They're entertainment to me but, well.

Here we are.

Here they are.

It were considered a miracle if the blight of Brannuck

could find traction in that wretched soil

but it did.

Then the blight spread.

It consumed the whole village.

They tried to burn it back.

But all the people that worked the land, were lost.

The brush supposedly consumed all who dared approach.

This is nonsense.

Rumor and heathen superstitions.

This superstition claimed my own wife and child.

Believe me when I say this.

If you're marked by the blight of Brannuck.

Hmm.

All will die.

Help, somebody!

Help!

Help!

Help, stop!

How'd he get all the way around there?

I think I might know.

It's about time you told us

about this secret passage of yours.

Where is it?

It's in the walls.

In the stairwell.

Towards the cellar.

You really do have a lot going on down there don't you?

Anything else you'd like to tell us about?

No.

Nothing has changed.

In fact we're better off.

That clearly isn't a road to safety

and some worthless, cowardly, pathetic shit sack

has paid the price for such a discovery.

What is that?

He knows what I'm asking.

You think that's funny?

I suspect you'll enjoy pulling a bolt out of your cock

a little less than your face.

He can understand me.

It's not you that they want is it?

They want that.

Oh, oh you want me to do that bit now do you?

Are you sure?

Geez.

Don't tell me this is what all the fuss is about?

I mean, don't get me wrong they're pretty and everything,

but I mean, if those splinter dicks outside want these,

why don't we just give 'em to 'em.

And we can just fuck off back to Brannuck and get home.

Do you know what I mean, so?

I'm inclined to agree with big nose here.

We should just give it back to them and get out.

That's exactly what we should do.

It solves all of our problems, all at once.

Why aren't we doing that?

Why wouldn't we do that?

It makes absolute...

This cannot be returned to them.

All will be lost.

All will die.

Bollocks.

Agreed.

Any and all

touched by the thorns of Brannuck.

Bastards.

Tree bastards.

We're all scratched, all wounded.

With the talisman they control everything.

Body.

Body and soul.

Our wills will no longer be our own.

To give up this thing would mean death to us all.

Death?

What's happening to them?

They must have been scratched.

Stop it.

Rosalind.

Rosalind no!

Check the others.

What are the north men gonna do with this thing?

I've told you, they're gonna slay the Skilding

and then take that talisman thing.

No, we need the Skilding alive.

Yeah that's not gonna happen.

Not, happen.

Oh fucking great yeah.

I mean even these three

could take on a boat load of fucking north men.

It's not like they're gonna take us with 'em are they?

Yeah well, none of this matters if we die here, so.

If we all just get together,

we can hold these fuckers 'til at least the morning.

And then in the morning this boat gets here.

And we all want the boat right?

I want the boat and then I can fuck off.

They want the boat so they get their money.

The birds wanna get the boat

so they can, you know, sort out their family issues.

And them fuzzy fuckers just wanna go home.

I mean, let's just, how about 'til dawn yeah,

we're family.

That's fine by me.

Death by dawn.

Death by dawn!

Oh for fucks sake.

You're all fucking insane.

You're fucking insane.

Well shit.

When should they get here?

Three hours away, they're closer than they were before.

That's an army.

And those doors are not gonna hold them.

Will your boats be here by then?

I've found these slave traders

disappointingly lax with their timekeeping.

This secret passage,

can we use it to get past them?

What good will that do?

Those beasts will chase us wherever we go.

I have men nearby, I can send for help.

Leave it out Ossy,

enough to take on 1,000 of those fuckers out there?

No.

But enough to take on those outside the front door.

Can we trust you to come back?

Look, the way I see it,

you stay here you definitely die.

I leave, maybe you die.

And if you do decide to come back, what about us?

What does it matter?

The tunnel is guarded by those beasts.

Using it will mean your death.

I have an idea about that.

But first, I need those sacks you took from me.

I don't suppose

you're talking about these beauties are you?

Okay, we draw them away from the passage.

That should buy enough time for our little Lord

to slip away and find help.

What kind of fucking distraction are you thinking about?

I've got an idea.

Yeah, that should do it.

He says we more borrow it for a while,

but he wants it back when he returns.

Returns?

And you, he says he'll fight

in case things get sticky out there.

He's offering to go and help.

Are you ready?

Your job is to get through that's it.

They are good fighters, just do what you have to do.

- I'll do what I have to. - I cannot be worrying about

you as well as everything else.

Meet me at Fairfax.

But I don't, but I don't want to leave.

I'm going to be fine.

Don't worry about me.

I need you to be safe please.

Just take care of Chloe.

Are you ready?

When I return.

If I choose to return,

I think it would be wise if you were somehow no longer here.

You can't kill my guards and slaughter monks

on my father's land and expect to get away with it.

What of my sister?

I think we're gonna have bigger fish to fry

than the disappearance of a bunch of murderous harlots.

Come on, come on, come on.

You like that, you're gonna fucking love this.

Alright, I can see them.

Only got a few of these left.

Wow, this is amaz...

I've got one left.

Okay, they're away.

Good, get inside.

Where'd you get these things?

God knows, I got 'em from a traveler I think,

who suffered from a mild case of pro-lapse.

Did they make it?

Yeah, yeah it seems so.

Do you reckon Ossy's boys will get out alright?

I hope so.

Yeah well listen,

I don't wanna be a dick or nothing,

but considering the real possibility

his Lordship is a bit of a cock right,

we need an alternate plan, yeah?

So what I'm thinking is,

we don't spaz when that thing goes together,

like the rest of 'em.

And those splinter cocks outside

they really want it badly alright,

so here's the deal right.

I'll nick it, you deliver it to 'em, yeah?

Alright.

Thank you, thank you.

No, no, no, thank you.

Ow.

Looks like our lute player

will be playing the harp from now on.

Are you sure she got through?

I think so.

Alright lads.

Um, yeah see ya.

No, no luck?

Of course I got 'em.

The woman watches me too closely.

Don't worry about that now,

I'll cause a little distraction and you two can slip off.

No, no.

No, no, get out of my way.

No, no!

Get out of my way!

There's nothing you can do.

Get out of my way.

- I've got to save her. - You can't do anything.

The thing the north men carried is missing.

Where's your naked friend?

Oh he's got it out there.

We're all fucked.

You've done this.

This is your doing.

Quiet.

You bastard.

You've killed us all.

- Oi. - You've killed us all.

You fuck.

Get your fucking hands off me.

You fucking stink man.

Fuck you, we were supposed to working together.

I'm doing something here.

Bigger plans.

Fucking got you, you cunt.

You stupid fat fuck.

One of them's gone.

One of 'em.

Think about it yeah.

What's next?

You.

Fucking cock.

One down.

I don't think the brother was as cautious

when leaving this place as the Lord.

They're found the hatch.

The best thing we can do now

is to go down fighting.

Aetheled are you with us?

Aetheled?

The cart.

Where the hell where you earlier on?

This is for my family!

Head for the tunnel.

Everyone out.

So what do you want?

Do you want me to beg?

Do you want me to beg?

I want you dead, you son of a bitch.

Come on, we've got to go.

Boat it is then.

I hear this belongs to you.

How could I forget you big man?

How long do you think 'til that gets here?

20 minutes, half hour at the most.

There's about 11 or 12 on there.

My friend here has some questions for Skilding.

In your expert opinion,

as man accustomed to taking things,

if we continued our alliance for a little while longer,

do you think you can take that?

I dunno.

But it does look like a very nice boat.

Subtitles by explosiveskull