Original subtitles

♪♪

Why does every movie end with the superhero winning?

Mm. Because people love seeing good prevail over evil.

And I love how much it bothers Amy.

Let's watch it again!

Jake, your sister and your neighbor

are your weekend plans.

Should you really be trash talking?

Whoa!

What up, fam?

Colby! Stop using your powers to scare us.

Look, my whole life, this family's been pranking me with powers.

Now, I'm finally getting some payback.

Let's see how Mom reacts to a rattlesnake in her toilet!

I'm not sure he's really thought that one through.

Coming to The Capital Convention Center,

it's the superhero event of the century!

COLOSSA-CON!

Where superheroes meet super-fans!

Who would even go to that?

I've gone the last five years!

On purpose?

We've got superhero cosplay,

superhero t-shirts, superhero snacks

and did we mention... superheroes!

You did. You did mention superheroes.

And, for the first time ever,

making her ColossaCon debut...

Fresh off her victory over supervillain Havoc,

Starling!

What?!

That's right, I'm coming to my favorite state, Texas!

Don't tell Arkansas!

No way!

Starling's my favorite--

person to hate because she's your nemesis.

Nice save. I like where this is going.

Why else do you hate her?

Uh, because she insulted Arkansas

in a cute and endearing way.

Oh, you know what? I can't say anything bad about her.

She's perfect.

I always wanted to meet her.

One time I thought about strapping myself to a rocket

just to see if she'd save me.

I'd like to strap myself to a rocket

just to get out of this conversation.

I know she's a superhero and you're a supervillain,

But why do you hate her so much?

It's a long story, I don't want to get into it.

We got time.

And I definitely want to get into it.

It all started when Havoc and Starling

got into an epic battle.

Wow, Havoc, you've been working on your moves.

You keep it up and I might have to start trying.

Why do you always have to smile while you fight me?

Smiley Fresh toothpaste pays me to.

Yeah well, let's see if you keep that endorsement

after you lose some of those teeth!

Whoa!

Time to bring the boom!

Whoa!

Uh-oh. Not-good- not-good-not-good--

Here's some Smiley Fresh floss for that gravel in your teeth.

See you next time!

Havoc! Are you okay?

Did I win?

And everyone lived happily ever after.

Except Amy.

Okay, fine.

I mighta kinda sorta lost to Starling a little bit

and now my fury over it consumes my entire existence.

But, now, the worst part is

the whole world knows because of this.

Wait. I thought Jake made that meme.

Shouldn't you be mad at him?

I am mad at him.

But he never would have been able to make the meme

if Starling hadn't done what she did.

That is true.

You know, if not for her, I wouldn't have.

A million likes?

Including Hartley.

That was before I knew you.

Amy?

Are you actually doing homework?!

And ruin my 1.0 GPA?

No.

I'm whipping up a little concoction

to dump on Starling's head when she's on stage at ColossaCon.

Is that Chrominite?!

No, that's my pomegranate juice.

This is Chrominite.

Wait. Other way around.

But that's Starling's one weakness!

Any exposure to that stuff will knock her out cold.

I know! Think how funny it'll be

when that happens in front of all her fans!

She'll be humiliated forever!

That doesn't sound funny at all.

Yeah, well, you're not really the intended audience.

Amy, you can't just roll up and get your revenge

in front of a packed convention center.

Oh, correction: Havoc can't. But Amy can.

Now that I'm just a normal girl,

I can blend in with the rest of Starling's lame fans

and embarrass her like she embarrassed me.

Wait, did you just call me lame?

Eyes on the prize, Hartley, stay focused.

Amy, by now, every villain knows that we're on the run

which means there's a good chance that every superhero knows, too.

Yeah. Is it really worth risking everything

just to get even?

So what if there's a meme?

It was just a joke.

It's not funny when I'm the punchline.

I'm the punchline of all your jokes!

And that's what makes them funny.

Look, when I was one of the world's

most notorious supervillains,

not everyone liked me, but no one thought I was a joke!

If I don't get even I'll be stuck as a punchline.

How about this?

Since I'm your friend, if you don't go to ColossaCon,

I won't go either.

Even though Starling is my favorite superhero.

And this is the closest I'll ever get to meeting her.

Hurry up and I say you won't go

'cause I'm kinda talking myself out of this!

Glad you won that argument for me.

See you there.

Okay, that's it!

If you go...

I'll tell the whole world...

your villain secret!

Seriously? That's like the fifteenth time

you threatened me with that this week.

It's like the meme. It never gets old.

Eva, you need to have a talk with your son.

- Hey, Ma! - Oh!

Another one of his shape-shifting shenanigans.

He leapt right off the towel rack as I was shaving my neck!

Who are you kidding? You were shaving your chest.

The chest is an extension of the neck!

You were also shaving your legs.

Essentially, the human body is one long neck.

Okay Colbs, you've had your fun. Now change back.

Fine.

Uh-oh. Something's wrong.

I--I can't shape-shift back!

I think I'm stuck!

Oh, well.

One less mouth to feed?

Don't even think about it.

I wasn't going to ColossaCon.

Starting route to ColossaCon...

I wasn't going to go in.

I was gonna drive by and give the supervillain salute.

Get in the house!

Hartley's gonna keep an eye on you

to make sure you don't sneak off.

Wait. Where are you going?

Baseball practice. I joined the team.

So now when I hit things, people cheer

instead of begging for their lives.

We're gonna have so much fun.

Who needs ColossaCon when we have crosswords, board games,

and charades!

Oh, well, I guess I'm stuck here.

Starling wins again.

Have fun at baseball practice, Jake.

No.

I'm not going anywhere until I do one little thing.

-Too tight? -Yeah.

Too bad. Bye.

Don't worry, we can still have fun.

Let's see what's on TV!

...superhero shirts, superhero snacks, super--

Snacks sound good.

I'll go get some!

What's the point? I can't use my hands.

Oh, right.

Well, we can make a game out of it.

I'll put them in a bowl and you can eat them like a dog.

A cute dog.

Wait! Before you go, can you at least

loosen these cuffs a little?

Please, they really hurt.

Can I trust you?

Of course.

You can trust that I'm going to ColossaCon.

You were right, Hartley.

This was fun!

Cute costume. Did you all come in the same minivan?

Wait. Where do you think you're going?

You have to wear a costume to get in!

Oh. Well, where am I supposed to find one of those?

Oh, no way! I am not wearing a Starling costume.

Then you are not getting in!

Ew!

-There you are! -Hartley!

How'd you get out of the cuffs?

A little yoga and a lotta saliva.

Wait, you came dressed as Havoc?

Aww, how cute.

It was the cheapest one they had.

I can't believe you tricked me.

I can't believe you licked your way

out of those handcuffs.

Look...

I had to come here and get my revenge.

You don't know what it's like to wake up every day

and have to relive your most humiliating moment.

The whole world thinks I'm a joke.

And the more I think about it,

I'm starting to believe it myself.

I get that.

But sometimes you just have to let things go.

I mean, if anyone found out who you really are,

You're my friend.

I don't want you taken away forever!

Isn't that enough to talk you out of it?

Aww!

How cute!

Ugh.

Nope.

What?

He's face-down, flip him over.

I can't believe I'm stuck as a towel!

What if he's stuck forever?

Oh, then I'll have to buy a new set of towels

to match that dreadful shade of green!

That's what you're worried about?!

Hey, I may be a villain, but I do have taste!

Relax, Colby. The same thing happened to your Grandpa

when he first got his shapeshifting power, too.

You'll shift back, it just may take you a few months.

"A few months"?

Hey! That is too long to be without my son.

That is way too long to be with this ugly towel.

That's Celia!

The rent's due and I'm a little short.

What do we do?!

Oh, just open it. Maybe she forgot.

Rent.

Celia, sorry.

We can't give you the rent.

Oh. I didn't want to do this,

but you're about to see...

Shakedown Celia.

Wait, wait!

It's not that we don't have it,

Uh, the reason we can't give it to you

is because we're not getting what we paid for.

What are you talking about?

Uh...

The dryer's broken and that is why

we're drying our towels on the kitchen table.

You put that nasty thing where you eat?

Fine, I'll knock five dollars off.

And also...

And also, this blender's broken.

That was your blender.

What was that?

That was the number one reason we're not paying rent.

This place is haunted!

Does the ghost have any money?

Ugh. How am I supposed to find the real Starling

with all these fake Starlings?

No fair!

You used your powers to run away from me.

What? I don't have superspeed.

Oh. Then I am really out of shape.

Hey, look at those people in line.

they're all dressed as Havoc.

I have fans?

Yeah!

Talk about an ego boost.

Doesn't it make you wanna beat the rush and head on home?

I had no idea there were any "Havoc Heads" out there.

That's what I assume they call themselves.

I thought the world was laughing at me.

But seeing my fans here make me realize

I'm still respected.

Worshipped even.

Get in line, Hartley, bow down.

Or, instead, how about we head on home?

Hello, ColossaCon.

It's Starling!

Wait, why does her stage look like a rooftop?

Uh...

Beats me.

She's recreating the meme!

That's why those people are dressed like me!

They're not my fans, they're making fun of me!

Wait, is that why you're dressed like me?

No! I would never do that to you.

Clearance bin. Remember?

She's charging people to recreate the meme

that ruined my life?

Time to put my plan in motion and get even.

Come on, Hartley.

It's go time.

Argh!

Wait.

That Captian Valor looks really familiar.

Is that...?

Jake?

Jake?

No, you're mistaken, I'm Captain Valor.

Hi.

You said villains shouldn't be at ColossaCon!

Is this ColossaCon?

I must be in the wrong room.

I'm supposed to be at the Pembleton Wedding.

Why are you here?

And why are you in line to meet Starling?

I thought about what Amy said

and you know, she's right. We're normal people now

so I figured I'd come meet Starling as a normal person,

to try to get some superhero intel, you know,

make sure they're not tracking our family

and throw them off our trail if they are.

I'm protecting us!

I think the real question is what are you doing here?!

I can't believe you let her out!

I'm sorry!

She was my first hostage!

You know, it's your fault anyways.

-You know you shouldn't left me there alone. -How is it my fault?

She was handcuffed to the stairs, you could've just left her...

It's really not that hard.

-What do you mean? -Wait, where'd she go?

I don't know.

-But we have to find her. -Right.

I mean, uh...

Captain Valor to the rescue!

Give it up, Jake. Nobody's buying it.

You really expect me to believe this place is haunted?

How else do you explain that toaster?

It doubles as a fireplace. You should be paying me more.

Okay, Colby.

Your mom and Celia will be here any minute.

If you ever wanted to use your powers to help your family,

now's your chance.

-Celia! -Rent!

And we'll pay you. Let me just go grab my wallet.

Make it fast. Bingo night.

That actually sounds fun, I would love to join.

We're full.

What was that?

That was the ghost.

I don't know. Sounds like a tape recorder or something.

Oh, that sounds like a ghost to me.

- I'm telling you, it is not-- - I am a ghost!

Ugh! Get this thing off me!

Ahh! Ooh!

See? This place is haunted!

Okay, okay.

There's something I didn't tell you when you rented this place.

Someone died here.

What?!

Okay! Lots of people died here!

Please tell me.

It took me years to find someone

who was willing live in this place after the...

incident.

Will you excuse us for a second?

I'm good with it if you are.

I hate the place more now.

How about we pay half?

Sure, fine. Whatever.

I'm gonna go home and burn all my towels.

Wow, she was really scared.

Her palms were super sweaty!

- Really, dude? - Sorry, I forgot.

Remember, you are an evil-doer who just ate rooftop.

So let the defeat wash over you.

I'm about to let the Chrominite wash over you.

I can't believe you let her get away again!

You know, for someone trying to be a better person,

you sure do like to blame people.

I know. Bad parents. I blame them.

Look!

Oh, no! She's got the Chrominite.

We have to stop her. I'll have to use my super-strength.

Cover me!

Oh! Whoa!

No, no, no, no.

Uh-oh, not good, not good!

Ahh!

Wow. Looks like someone couldn't wait to meet me.

Starling just saved her life!

What, no! That's not what happened.

Oh, don't feel embarrassed.

You fell very gracefully.

Have you been saved by a superhero before?

Hey!

Hi! Wow!

It's you!

You knew that.

-Thanks for saving my friend's life. -No, she didn't.

I would've been fine. Spines heal.

Oh, my!

I just saved Starling's life.

I caught the Chrominite.

That's pomegranate juice. But thank you!

I'm ready to go now.

Thanks for coming, everybody!

Wait.

I...

I came here to say thank you.

Oh, for what?

Uh...

Help!

I hurt my arm and I can't pull myself up!

Wait, please!

Don't let me fall.

I'm sorry.

Oh.

You saved my life.

I'm a superhero. It's what I do.

Thank you.

Don't thank me.

It's my job to make the world a safer place.

Maybe one day, you'll do that, too.

Hello, for what?

Um, for an autograph.

Oh, sure.

Thanks.

Oh, Jake! Come quick!

Amy's taking out her rage on a soft pretzel vendor!

There's salt and mustard everywhere!

Sure, I'll help.

It's what I do.

Amy, your mother and I were very upset

you went to ColossaCon.

You could've put all of our lives in danger.

You told them?

Uh, didn't have to.

The internet did.

Oh, no. There's another meme?

Nope! Now you're a GIF!

"Catch you later"!

Oh, buck up, kiddo!

I know things may seem bad now,

but at least you're not a towel.

Hey!

Well, we should probably get some sleep.

Colby and I are having a hot yoga session in the morning.

It's gonna get damp!

Wait, what?!

No, no, no, no, no, no! Ow! Ow! Ow!

By the way,

people died here.

Night.

Wait, what?

When? Where? How?

Great. And I guess I'm back to being the punchline.

No, you're not.

I'm actually proud of you.

Why? Starling won. Again.

Think about it.

You were standing right next to her.

At any moment, you could've just snapped.

And gone full Havok.

But you didn't.

It shows growth.

Yeah, well.

Villains aren't really supposed to "grow."

Well, Havoc's not supposed to.

But Amy is.

Starling may have won the battle,

But by letting it go, you won the war.

Huh.

I guess I never thought about it like that.

You also won the war with the pretzel vendor.

Ten dollars for bread and salt and I'm the villain?!

Amy, you are not gonna believe

what happened in your bedroom!

And... they're gone.

I know who you are.