Original subtitles

Get some people here.

—Senior Brother?! Be careful...! —I know!

The Gold Lion’s used to eating and living here.

It knows its own way back...! Right?

We just put it out for show every year. We'll win it back for sure...!

Hey, hey... What’s this? You slacking off?!

—I’'m working now! —Get a move on, then...!

Not green, don't steal! Not green, don't steal!

Not yum, don’t eat! Not yumm, don't eat!

Yum, yum, eat!

- Is everything ready? - It's ready!

- Have the clothes arrived yet? - Sister Ha said she’ll deliver them soon.

Master...?! Shanghai Woman’s here!

O’ course I'd make it on time!

Shanghai Woman...!

—Thanks a lot, Shanghai Woman! —You have my thanks.

Now... The clothes are ’ere.

If you wanna make yourself pretty, help yourself!

Make sure you’ve got the right ones. Don’t get ’em mixed up.

—Here are mine! —Alright, make sure you’ve got your own.

—Come and find yours as well. —Brother Lung...?!

Got it! I'm coming down now!

—Hey, Keung?! —Senior Brother?! Your clothes!

Senior Brother!

Senior Brother...?

Senior Brother?!

Senior Brother?

—How is it? —My leg really hurts....

—Who put a water bucket here? —It must’ve been the Ii’l orphan here!

- I-- —Help me up now...!

Help him up.

—Here... —You sit right down!

This is exactly what we don’t want. And now we don’t have a lion’s head.

No Senior Brother, no lion’s head-- we’re gonna lose for sure...!

You think only Senior Brother knows martial arts? There’s still me!

—It’ll be my turn before it’s yours...! —Be quiet, you!

Looks like we’ll need a substitute for the lion’s head.

—I... l can’t do it. —Senior Brother....

Of course you can’t do it!

Lung, you do it.

—Can he do it...? —Hey, as if the I’l orphan can do it.

If he can’t do it, I will!

—I’ll do it, more like! —What’s all this racket?! Be quiet!

Get ready to release the lion.

My dear townsfolk, yet another year has already passed.

Our town saw fertile wind and rain; its inhabitants calm and peaceful.

That is to say, if there is a precedent, do not abandon it.

This year, we have especially prepared a Water and Land Harmony Green

that our town’s Ching-Fung and Wai-Yee training halls

will compete for in the Plucking of the Green.

Let us see which training hall will deliver us an auspicious new year.

That’s a big one!

Hey, what kind of Green is that?!

—Face Green...! —What?

If I had to go and pluck it, my face would turn green...!

This is called a Coiled Dragon Eight Trigram Green.

Whoa... He’s really good!

He’s pretty lifelike, huh?

Take a look at that....

—Good stuff, eh? —Yeah, it’s good stulft...!

His lion’s really lifelike.

His movement and physique aren’t like any from Wai-Yee Hall.

—Lung, you’ll be the head. —Aye.

Tsan, you’ll be the tail.

—Get ready, everyone. —C’mon.

Fung Chun, take the drums.

—Well, I'll see you later, then. —See you later.

[WING-NING TOWN MAJOR-AUTHORISED LIONS CLUB OFF-SITE BETTING STATION]

Get in line if you wanna bet! Betting on Gold?

—Hey, who’d you bet on? —Black Lion, of course...!

—You sure about Black Lion...? —I’'m all in for an upset...!

—Hey, what are the odds? —Well, Black Lion’s 10 to 1 against.

—Gold Lion’s 50 cents per dollar. —Aren’t I losing 50 cents, then?!

Geez... Of course I know Gold’s a shoo-in.

If everyone bets on Gold, Ill have to sell my wife!

Here... You think betting slips are printed for free?

I’m betting on black!

Get in line, then...!

—What’s that? You're betting on black?! —Yeah.

Don’t get in line, then. Let me fill out your slip.

Wow! How smart! He’s real smart, isn’'t he?

[WING-NING TOWN TRANQUILLITY FAIR EIGHTH LION DANCE CONVENTION]

Hey! Good stuff! Well done!

—Oh, ¢’mon! Jump on over. —What now?

—Brave enough to jump? —I am!

—Raise the tail! —Crossing a river without a boat!

Brilliant! Fantastic!

—-Go up! —Right! Get up there! Go up!

Don’t let 'em up!

Don’t let ’em get up there! Hit ’em!

Hit ’'em! Hit ’'em! Don’t let 'em get up there!

Don’t let 'em up, no matter what! Hit ’em! Hit ’em!

Knock ’em down! Good job!

Don't let up...!

Tsan, use the belt!

—Tsan, is it tied on yet?! —It’s on!

I’m heading down!

Amazing...!

Senior Brother?!

Enough talk. If you've got it in you, steal it!

Senior Brother, you--

Bring me up!

Well done! Brilliant...!

Don't let go....

Well done!

Senior Brother, why are you doing this? What for?

It's every man for himself. Don’t think of me as your senior brother.

—If you’ve got it in you, come take it! —You’re putting me in an awkward position!

—Hang in there! —Hey, hang in there! Hang in there!

Hang in there...!

Be quiet! Hurry and pluck that Green!

—Lung, good job...! —Hurry up...!

Good stuff! Good stuff....

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray...!

—Yes, yes, yes! We won! —Hooray! Hooray!

We won!

Uncle, the guy under the lion’s head was really something. Where’d you find him?

What’s with all the questions...?! Get a move on and claim that Gold Lion...!

Let’s pack everything up first.

Why are you still up there?!

Who'd a thought Black Lion would win, huh?!

Should’ve bet on the black one!

I’m off to get my money too!

How lucky...!

You were bollocks! Losing me money....

—That’s right... They’re trash! —What trash...!

I’ll be Black Lion, you be Gold Lion! C’mon! C’'mon...!

Count it yourself-- it’s there in full.

Come now... First we were strangers, now we’re friends.

Hey, give us a hand again at the Earth God Festival.

—They’ll catch on if I keep doing it.... —Pfft... Use it as a way out! Come to us.

I’ll make you head instructor.

Go mull it over.

Let me have a think about it.

Master... Did we win or lose?

L-lose--

If we lost, we lost. Why the long faces?

Why aren’t you all training?!

Lung...?!

You're a lion dancer who can’t even hold onto the lion’s head!

Lift the table 100 times. Build up your arm strength!

What’s all this? Hey!

Oh, come on! You lot... You’re getting water everywhere! Waich it!

Hey, what are you doing?

-Why’d you...? —Are you kidding me?!

Get a move on!

Hey, all done!

—Come over here! —Hey, can you wipe down mine too?

Oi, who do you think you are? Wipe yours down t00?

—What about me? Who'll wipe mine, then? —Get wiping!

Get wiping, will you...?! You’re being a real lazybones, you are....

—We here to serve you, ‘young master’? —Hurry up and wipe!

Slacking off....

—Ridiculous.... —You gonna wipe or not?

—Don’t wipe, then.... —The water!

Huh?! That place again?

If I told you to go, just go...!

Go!

—Hi...! —Qver there.

I know! Just into the room. You think it’s my first time here...?!

Don’t be so loud. Master only just went to bed.

Afraid of being seen out there!

Afraid your master will find out in here.

For goodness’ sake, don’t go hiring whores, then...!

I’m here, you big meanie.

—Hey, hey? Senior Brother? —What is it...?!

—Her again? —Geez... Get outta here...!

Hey, Senior Brother? Don’t be too long.

Alright-- I know! Just get outta here...! C’'mon.

—Hey.... —C’mon, play with me...!

Get up, you big fat pig...!

Oh no... Master’s coming.

Master.

—What are you doing? —Nothing! It’s cooler here.

—It’s cool here? —Yeah...!

You trying to suffocate me...?!

No... No--

Rude...! You copping a feel?!

C-copping a feel...?

Master, this won’t happen next time.

Hmph! There’ll be a ‘next time’?!

—Rude...! Haven'’t you squished me enough?! —Leave!

This is a martial arts training hall-- not a brothel! Leave now!

I'll leave, so what? As if there’s anything valuable here anyway!

What are you gawkin’ at?! Haven’t you seen a woman before?!

Give me your belt.

Here....

Huh? ‘Wai-Yee Hall’?!

Tell me! Why did Wai-Yee Hall give you money?

Why?!

—I-- —Tell me...!

Tell me.

What did you do for them?!

Tell me!

[CHING KEUNG]

Hand it over!

I said hand it over...!

‘Ching Keung’...?

Hmm... Keung?!

Why did Wai-Yee Hall give you money?

What did you do for them?!

Didn’t he tell you... that I did the lion dance for Wai-Yee Hall?

I didn’t say anything! Senior Brother....

Get out.

—Senior Brother-- —II said get out!

Get out! Get out!

Master...?

You still think you can call me Master?

You bite the hand that feeds-- you’re nothing but a disloyal brat!

Do you still remember when you and Lung were just children?!

Fatherless. Motherless.

Fending off dogs for scraps on the street. Dirty and filthy-- covered in sores.

Who was it that took you in?!

These past ten or so years...

I’'ve spared no effort in raising you into men.

As though you were my own sons... I provided you with an education.

Have I ever asked for a single cent in return?!

Yet, you lion danced for others out of greed?!

Why have you done this?!

Lung, the damn boy, needs to grow up still.

But you were the pillar of my training hall.

Have you done this to be the death of me?!

I always said he’d sell us out...!

Just a matter of time before he angers Master to death!

Tell me!

Get lost already...!

—Tell me! —That’s enough!

You've treated me well.

I've treated you wrong!

I’'m leaving!

—Senior Brother! —Get out of my way!

Master!

—Senior Brother! —Leave him!

Leave for all I care, and never come back!

Senior Brother?!

Senior Brother....

Hey...?

Apparently Big Brother’s sentence is being handed down two days from now.

If we don’t make our move soon...

I'm afraid we’ll miss our chance.

Easier said than done...! There’s only the two of you.

—A pair’s a bit short, don’t you think? —Huh...?!

The two of us is more than enough!

The cops only know how to cop a raise-- always copping outta training too.

When it comes to fightin’, they don’t even come close to us!

Then how come Young Master Gold’s locked up...?

Pfft.... He only messed up cos he got drunk that day.

Otherwise, not even ten provincial constables can get the better of him!

Well, don’t go that far...

—Next time you’ll need an actual plan.... —Morning, Brother Biu!

Uncle. Aren’t you up early? Have you gone to yum cha yet?

Yum cha? Not yet.

—Let’s go together, then. —Alright, alright...

Oh, it’s you. You wanna sign up for kung fu lessons?

I’'m here to see Uncle.

You wanna see Uncle?

Uncle?! He’s lookin’ for you.

Hey...

What are you doing here?

Hey, I already gave you your money for the lion dance.

What? You want next year’s as well?

No. Last time you said you’ve got a head instructor position for me here.

Sheesh... That was a month ago!

I’'ve even got two new brothers here.

If your training hall’s short on hands,

then please take care of my nephews as well.

So you tricked me, then!

—Oh... I didn’t-- —Uncle, good morning!

Oh, just look at you-- you haven’t even done your button up!

Uncle? What’s he doing here?

He wants us to take him in-- like rice is cheap...!

That time you lion danced for us... I didn’t know about it beforehand.

It didn’t sit well with me afterwards, though.

If I take you in, I'm worried your master will misunderstand even further.

I think... it was only over this that he drove you out.

How about... I put in a good word for you, plead to him to take you back in?

No need.

It’s a big world out there-- I don’t believe there’s nowhere to go!

Not so fast.

What now?

How are you gonna ‘look out’ for me this time?

Uncle Diu’s looking out for you with a chance to make some cash.

Depends if you've got the gall to do it though.

Like I have any choice in the matter. Out with it, then.

Now--

Master, there’s no tables yet. Take a seat here for now.

Oi... Step aside, will ya...?!

Huh...? Master Tin, you’re here early. Waiting for a table?

—Brother Biu, we kept a table for you. —-Good....

—Enjoy your wait...! —Uncle.

Aunt Three?! There’s a table over there.

Ah... Master Tin, good morning.

Having yum cha together with your disciples, are we?

Uh... My apologies.

Waiter, the bill!

—Oh, coming! —A table!

—You’re leaving? —That’s right.

—Table coming! —Three Sixty!

Coming through. Excuse me....

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

—Hey, waiter! -Yes?

Oh, my! Brother Biu, your lion dance yesterday--

truly magnificent-- truly something to behold!

I’'m Cannon Biu, and you’re not!

When [ lion dance, miss it you cannot!

Only cos my senior brother helped you out that day...!

You guys don’t even get fed!

Even your brand would leave if it could grow legs. Yeah?

Look at us-- a lavish feast every meal.

Even if it meant being struck by lightning, they’d still stick around...!

Just look at you-- look, look...

You’re nothing but skin and bones....

Allow me, Cannon Biu...

to treat you to a barbecue pork bun.

This is the kind that’s definitely starving...!

Here, here....

Brother Biu, have some tea.

You’re gutsier than you look!

Get 'im!

Pierce! Toss! Hang! Sweep!

Stab!

Stab! Stab! Stab--

‘Stab’, huh?!

Check out my cudgel fists--

H-hey... Brother Biu?

Quit fooling around. See that? Master’s angry now....

He’s kinda lousy, but he’s still a master.

We’re leaving!

Hey, hey...! Master?

You haven'’t paid yet.

—We haven’t even eaten anything! —It’s double for only tea!

Thank you, Master! Thank you very much. Thank you....

—Master! —Master!

—Hey. Hey? —Scared me to death!

You've finished yum cha already?

—Oh no... What happened to you?! —It’s all because of him...!

Cos his lion lost to theirs, they gave us a good thrashing as well.

Who did this?!

Kung fu boy knows two, three moves-- what'’s the use?

Kung fu boy knows two, three moves-- what’s the use...?!

Let’s go over there and show him some kung fu!

You can count me out.

Why are we still standing here, then...?!

We’re going over there...!

Get back here!

Haven’t we been humiliated enough?

We’re leaving!

Why are you all standing there like logs?! Master said we’re leaving. Move it!

Let’'s go, Junior Brother. C’'mon.

Haven’t even completed your training, yet you’re out there stirring up trouble.

Any repute I had has been completely wiped clean by you lot!

They picked on us first though....

—If Senior Brother were here, then we’d-- —You speak out of turn!

It's always Senior Brother this, Senior Brother that.

Have I only been teaching Senior Brother kung fu and not the rest of you?! Huh?!

What was that rubbish kung fu just now?

Show it to me!

Come on!

Do it!

Pierce...

—Toss! —Toss’ what?!

What else is there?!

—Hang-- —‘Hang’ what...? Is this how I taught you?!

—What else is there?! —There’s...

—Keep going! —Stab...!

‘Stab’?! ‘Stab’ your damn arse... Did I tell you to do that?

—‘Stab’...! —You did--

—Wrap...! —What else is there?!

Mummy...!

Mummy?! ‘Mummy’ your damn arse! You no-good brat....

—You can’t be taught. Useless! —Master, don’t be like this!

—No-good brat. Useless! You-- —Master....

Get up. Get on up now. Get up....

To be your master now I must have sinned in my previous life!

There’s not a good one among the lot of you.

You’re either spoilt rotten, or you’re rotten traitors!

He lion danced for someone else all for some rotten change!

He used the kung fu I've spared no effort in teaching you to make a fool out of me.

And now Ching-Fung Hall’s reputation is in complete and utter tatters!

We couldn’t even go to yum cha without being ridiculed.

Is there anything left you haven’t done to ruin me?!

You're still crying?!

You...

How are you practising martial arts? You'’re as fat as a pig!

And there’s you! You're the youngest.

But you're also the naughtiest!

I haven’t even hit you and you’re crying. How can--

Just look at you!

Master--

Why have you tied it like this? Huh?

Is this how you tie it?! Huh?!

Is this how? Is this how you tie it?! Tell me! Tell me...!

You'll be the death of me for sure!

Why are you still crying?

—Shut up! —Master?! Master...?!

Master, there’s no point blaming us.

It’s the Ii’'l orphans who’re in the wrong!

Their betrayal...

What’s it gotta do with us?!

Be quiet!

You're talking back! Talking back! You talked back at me!

You talked back to enrage me! I’m so angry... Talking back, huh?!

Enough...!

Over that Gold Lion...

You drove Senior Brother away!

Now you’re taking it out on them by beating them.

What are your disciples to you even?!

That’s right...

Senior Brother and I are orphans.

We eat your food. We live under your roof. We don’t pay tuition fees either.

And we do take it for granted!

If you need to hit someone, hit me.

I’'ve got thicker skin...!

I know that you, Master, hate me the most.

You can’t even be bothered to raise your hand against me.

But if you don’t hit me today, you might not get another chance.

I know... that if you never took us in, Master,

Senior Brother and I would’ve long starved to death,

I wouldn’t have tarnished your reputation,

Senior Brother would never have lion danced for someone else,

and we wouldn’t be looked down on by others...

and be called ‘Ii’l orphan’.

I now understand why Senior Brother had to leave.

How can anyone possibly live in a place where they’re looked down upon?!

Master...

Senior Brother left in such a hurry...

he didn’t have time to tell you.

So I'll speak for him as well here and now:

Thank you, Master, for taking care of us these 20-odd years.

—I’'m leaving.... —Where are you going?!

If Senior Brother hasn’t starved to death, there’s still a place for me to go.

Hold it!

Go, then.

And bring Senior Brother back to me.

Just when did Wai-Yee Hall become a refugee camp?

So many refugees coming to seek asylum.

You don’t have to be like that.

—We are peers after all. —Bah...!

We, Wai-Yee Hall, feast lavishly every meal!

You lot... Heh! A lump of tofu has to last three meals.

How are we possibly peers? I couldn’t give a rat’s!

—Brother Biu... —Don’t be so nice-- it’s not my thing!

I’m only here to--

Save your breath!

I waited long and hard for the old guard to step down.

Now it’s my turn to be somebody! Don’t get in the way of my fortunes!

—I just wanted-- —Go away!

Get lost, Ii’l orphan.

Saying hurtful things is uncalled for.

‘Saying hurtful things’...?

If you still won’t leave, I'll let my fists do the talking, then!

Brother Biu?!

—Are you alright? —I-I'm fine.

A grown man who can’t even stand properly.

When your master told you to practise your footwork,

you must’ve gone off to play marbles instead.

Hurry up and fetch the hall chief.

—Are you really alright? —I’'m fine....

Wait, say there’s someone here to challenge us!

Lie down!

You're so fat, you can’t bounce back...!

Stop fighting! Stop fighting... Don't hit him!

Consider yourself lucky!

Brother Biu, that’s enough! Don’t fight anymore.

Oi... Right from the start, it’s been him doing the fighting.

All you gotta do is tell him to stop!

And you’re here because...?

I came to see if my senior brother’s been here.

Oh... He did come by.

He even asked me to take him in. But I didn’t though.

And here I thought you came to try and steal my bread and butter!

Hall Chief. Everyone. Apologies for the trouble.

Brother Biu, I'm sorry.

Alright, then. Everything’s fine now. Back inside.

Hey, they’re here!

Halt!

Attack!

I want him!

Attack!

Big Brother!

B-Big Brother... How are you?

—Who are you? —Oh, he’s one of us.

That’s right!

—Big Brother. —Let’s go...!

Hurry and report back-- tell them we were hijacked!

Who do I say did it?

Tell them we were hijacked by the White Fan....

Buy some choy sum...!

Thank you.

Ah, feel free to look!

Buddy, have you seen someone with a fan like this?

I’'ve only seen people with money who buy stuff!

Only just opened and I get this fat lot o’ nothin’!

You better make tracks. Piss off!

You leavin’?!

Ah, please help yourself.

What’re you still lookin’ at?!

Feel free to have a look.

Hey... That’s the White Fan!

—Hrm? Doesn’t look like him. —Let’s get a better look.

—There... Does it look like him? —Erm... Nah, still doesn’t!

Geez... And when have the station’s drawings ever looked like the crooks?

—There’s a bounty, y’know...? —Oh? There’s a bounty?!

—This one’s worth a stitch-up, then...! —Go and get the others.

I’ll stay on his tail. Get a move on.

Bok choy...!

Alright... He’s inside.

You lot, follow me.

—He’s not here? —Yeah....

He was literally right here worshipping. Where’d he go?!

Amitabha.

Are you gentlemen looking for me?

Five officer sirs...

Is there something the matter?

White Fan... At death’s door and still giving lip?!

You’re coming with me to the magistrate’s office!

Not so fast, Brother Officer.

I haven’t committed any crimes. Did you mistake me for someone else?

How could my eyes get it wrong?!

So who hijacked the prisoner transport, then?

Your godbrother? Cuff ’im!

A-attack!

Wait... Give me the blade!

Boss, you alright?

I'm fine! Give me a blade!

Oh, thanks.

Wha...?! You’re not afraid of cutting down a bodhisattva?!

I’m sorry, I'm sorry....

Guys like us don’t believe in gods!

Cut him up...!

Since you don’t believe in gods, I’ll send you to heaven in a single chop!

Scared now, huh?

—I only got your handcuffs...! —Oh, yeah....

I didn’t believe before, but now I’'m a true believer.

So you’re a believer now?

—Go and make an offering, then! —Right....

Gimme a blade!

=Still at it?! —Go to hell!

You’'re even scared of a cross?!

Boss, you alright?

I'm fine. Attack!

—H-hey, boss? You trying to leave? —Of course not! Give me a blade!

You've already taken ‘'em all...!

Hey. It doesn’t look good. You keep an eye out. I'll get Lord Three.

H-hey... You'’re in a bad way-- why don’t I go and get Lord Three?

You go to the station. I’ll go to his house.

Lord Three, open up!

Lord Three, open up!

Brother Four. Is Lord Three in?

Hey, hey? Brother Four? Hey?!

Answer him, for goodness sake! You do this nine times out of ten....

—Brother Crosseye, what is it? —Ah, Sister Sau...

Today at the abandoned temple, the men and II...

we shagged the White Fan!

You snagged the White Fan...?

That’s right!

So that’'s why I’'m here to ask Lord Three to come take his statement.

My dad already left for the station earlier today.

So Lord Three isn’t here?!

Then we’re in trouble... Then there’s nobody to take his statement?

It’s only a statement!

Since you've already snagged him, take his statement down at the station.

I can’t get him to budge though....

Let me go help you ‘invite’ him, then...!

Where are you going? Off to pick fights again?

They’re already wrapping up. Why are you barging in on them?

When I get there, there’ll be a sequel!

C’'mon...!

If Dad finds out, you’re dead!

If you don’t tell him, how will he know...?

—Brother Four? That’s him over there! —What are we waiting for, then?

H-he won't like seeing me.

You go....

Sorry.

Flip a Ii’l chair and get in my hair-- you go ahead, then!

Hey...! You trying to bone me?!

Don’t pick on me just cos I'm not from around here!

I don’t even know who you are... But our relationship won't get very far!

Trying to steal my stuff, eh...?

You won't steal it that easily...!

Just who are you?!

I’m not wasting any more air on you!

Ah, Brother Four! I didn’t think your stance could be as cool as hell!

Your hands impel, footwork excels, two eyes like brass bells.

The $200 bounty, I’ll pocket for you as well!

—Where’d he go?! —I saw him go over there.

Why didn’t you say something earlier?!

Mister, could I have some tea, please?

Of course. Help yourself.

Thank you!

Take a seat.

Thank you.

Hey? Have you been working up a sweat or something?

Don’t remind me.

Today’s been real miserable and it’s not the weather!

Just now I had a run-in with a barkless dog blocking the way!

It came right at me without making a sound.

There were also these boys in blue

who tried to stitch me up like I was fresh meat.

Luckily I got outta there fast...!

Otherwise, I wouldn’t be sitting here now having tea.

Hmm...? This pipe of yours is pretty exquisite, Mister.

—Can I have a look at it? —Of course...! Look all you want.

Have a good proper look.

You might not get another chance to, otherwise.

Hmm...? ‘Bestowed by the Emperor’?

Mmm... It’s the real deal!

It’s an antique, then!

Wow! That’s quite a fan you’ve there.

I also want to experience it for myself.

Hey, Mister. You really are a connoisseur!

—It’'s much more than meets the eye...! —Wow! A Gold Dragon White Paper Fan?!

—Look how beautiful it is. —Indeed.

This fan though-- it’s got a real storied history...!

—But nothing that would interest you-- —Come now. Have some tea first.

Mister, you really are kind, and great company as well.

—So do you live here? —No...! I'm just here waiting for someone.

This person though-- he’s really something.

—Oh? How is he ‘really something’? —He hijacked a prisoner transport,

robbed a bank,

and is wanted by the authorities but doesn’t give a damn.

Whenever he sees constables of the five provinces, he shrugs them off.

Whoa... This person must be really extraordinary, then?

Mmm... However...

he’s short-sighted!

‘Short-sighted’? So he can’t even see you if he ran into you?

He might as well be blind.

He’s already here.

‘Already here’? No, he’s not.

You just can’t see him...!

That's him?!

That sod is the barkless dog I was talking about!

Has he bitten you before?

He hasn’t just bitten me!

He feeds off me, lives off me. He’s even got his eye on me.

—Why’s he got his eye on you? —He’s got his eye on my estate!

Well... Aren’t you pitiful ?! Picking on the elderly?!

From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were a scoundrel.

Now you’re wanted by the authorities, eh...?

He really talked you up... What’s your name, then...?!

Are you mute?

All shifty and slippery...

Some people have kids born without an arse....

His old man must’'ve had kids born without an Adam’s apple!

—What are you laughing at?! —Wait! Don’t get mad just yet.

Let me take care of him for you!

Li’l chair flipper...

You barkless dog. I’m not gonna let you off this time....

Huh? The bloody boy’s got actual technique playing with that bench.

Kid, you’re really something!

Wait...

To defeat this brat...

use this rod here.

Thanks, Mister.

You dead yet?!

Mister... This rod you lent me really works a treat.

Of course...! If it wasn’t for my rod, how would you have subdued him?

Right now... you can’t even move a muscle, right--

Mister? This slap here is from you.

This slap here is from me.

And then this slap here is from your damn old man!

This one--

Mister? He’s still pulling faces at you!

—You hold it right there! —Sure! It’s your turn to hit him.

I told you to stay at home and not go wandering about,

but you weren't listening!

I told your sister to keep an eye on you, yet here you are not training!

You think you’re really good with that bench,

So you’ve come out bragging!

See...? Now you’ve been beaten and your bones are shaking!

Hey, Mister... How come you know all this dirt about him?

—He’s my bairn! —He’s in the barn?

—My bambino! —‘Bambino’?

That means he’s my son...!

Oh...! That makes you his old man, then!

Go to hell, you!

It’s not a total loss, then.

Get up...!

Oh... So father and son are in on it together.

You don’t run outta breath easily, you old fart....

You're really asking for it, kiddo.

I’'ve waited all day for you, I haven’t even eaten yet!

Hold on a second.

It's only a meal!

Pfft... You should’ve spoken up earlier...!

It’s real simple...!

I don’t have much on me...!

Here’s a few dosh. It’s enough for you two to get a feed though.

You get to eat now but you’re still being rough--

As if we need you to treat us.

My old man’s been on the royal payroll for decades!

So he’s a big shot?

Like it needs to be said!

What are you doing out here?

Big Sis asked me to get some fish food.

Why haven’t you gone, then...?!

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law!

You must hear that a lot!

You have the fan, confess!

The old matchmaker! She’s got a fan, why not arrest her...?!

Your son’s also bad-- carrying that bench, roaming around without a sound....

Don’t mention that damn boy!

Of course-- he’s not yours, is he?! If not, why doesn’t he dance to your tune?

Just looking at him makes my blood boil.

There’s never a peep out of him. Not even a fart.

It’s like he’s a mute!

—So father and son don't talk, then? —That’s right...!

—Unlike the two of us, right? —Yeah.

Hey, hey! I can have a pee, right...?

A pee?!

—Over there! C’mon...! —Hey...! How can I go when I'm in chains...?

Put everything down. I’ll uncuff you and you’ll be right...!

Wow... Mister. You really are a good person!

Hey?! How can I go with you staring at me like that...?!

If I don’t keep an eye on you, what’s to stop you from running away?

In that case...

Even with you watching, I’m still gonna run away!

I’m going, going, going, going! Huh? Why isn’t he chasing me?

I’m really going, then!

Run! Run! Run fast, world’s a blast! Run! Run! Run....

He heads in the direction I point. How obedient!

He’s really not following me.

I can relax...!

What’s going on?! Why’s it all soft and squishy...?

What’s happening?

This is called The Crook’s Lavatory.

—Hey, hurry and save me! —Don’t breathe, no matter what.

The more you move, the faster you'll sink.

Get me out of here.

All criminals who come here,

—every single one dives in without fail. —Why aren’t you getting me out, then?

If it hasn’t covered your head yet, you’ll be fine....

I can get you out. Just sing a little something for me.

If your singing’s any good, I’ll consider your plea, then.

I-1... Pll sing.

A birdy falls in the water, in the water, in the water.

A--

Why have you stopped singing...?

Quickly, grab onto this bamboo!

Keep sinking and even /'l have a hard time saving you!

C’mon! Grab on tight!

Alright, hold on tight now...

Up you get!

You’re good!

Steady now!

—Almost there. —I almost drowned to death....

Get out of the way! Don’t get everything dirty!

Hurry up and save me!

Get me out of here now! Quickly!

You’re a pretty good person yourself.

You could’ve run away, y’know?

I didn’t think about that... Go to hell, you!

It's lucky you reminded me!

Thank you very much! I’'m off!

Hey... Hey! At the very least, I’ll sing you a little something...!

—Get me out...! —Start singing, then!

A... birdy... falls in... the water...

Alright, alright! Stop singing-- my hair’s standing on end! I'll save you!

—Hurry! —II am hurrying....

Grab on now! If it breaks, it’s just your own damn luck...!

Is anybody here?! Is anybody here...?!

Could this day get any worse?

Young Maiden?! Young Maiden?

Who are you?!

I am... me.

Could you please open the door?

Success! With a smile, I reply, quite simply, ‘I am me’...

Maiden. Maiden.

I’ll wipe them clean for you.

=Sorry.... —Hey, it’s alright....

Not from around here?

No, it is from around here. This is all local mud.

I’m saying you’re from out of town. Or you wouldn’t have fallen in the bog.

Exactly... Just look how wretched I am. I’'m all dirty and filthy.

I’ll go in, get a bucket of water to wash it off, and I'll be right.

I won’t make a mess!

Maiden? Let me borrow that over there.

Here.

Thank you.

Pretty good, huh...?

Hey, hey...!

Am I taking you to get a bath, or are you taking me to get a bath?

That’s better.

Of course it’s better! There won’t be a single footprint.

This is so much better than having to chase after me....

Alright, alright... You can get off here.

—Thank you. —The bathroom’s over there.

—You can head inside yourself. —Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

Doesn’t matter which side’s ‘gentlemen’ or ‘ladies’, right?

The clothes are so filthy-- how can you wear them?

Let me bring you some of my little brother’s clothes.

I’'ve hung the clothes here.

Thank you!

Oh no... I forgot to go grocery shopping.

I need to rush out for some groceries! You'll be fine bathing here by yourself?!

All good! You can go! I can bathe by myself, no problem...!

No problem. No problem.

Dirty and filthy, no problem.

Speaking of which... that constable’s got a lot of problems!

Bollocks...

If I ever see that bastard again, I’ll cut him down with a single strike!

I won’t even bother with words!

Luckily the two brats aren’t back yet.

The damn boy’s back already?

Little Brother!

What’s all this mess?!

Oh, dear... You haven't hurt yourself, have you?

I was just having a bit of fun with you.

Hey?

Mouth-to-mouth’s not working...?

You no-good brat! You've even played the fish to death!

—It’s you?! —What’re the odds?

How will you get away this time?!

That’s some temper you’ve got there.

You and I are just borrowing the use of this place.

What a mess you’ve made.

There’s dirt in spades. And /cleaned it up like a maid?!

Even if I--

I already said: if I saw you again, I won’t bother with words!

Even better, then. The less to say, the more intimate!

Nothing to do with you.

Oh no! He’s belly up.

I’ll cut you up!

Hey! Don’t abuse your authority!

I’ll chop you to death. Then I'll report you missing!

Die...!

You think you’re playing with your kid now?!

So it was bestowed by the Emperor....

Chop it, then!

It may be bestowed by the Emperor, but how come it’s impervious to blades?

Bestowed by the Emperor. Emperor’s boon fights imperial goon.

Emperor’s gift stabbing so swift. I’ll bonk!

Ah, won’t break from a bonk to the head. Wonder if it will from a pillar. Bonk!

Oh, hey, it still won’t break. I'll bonk!

It still won’t break?!

Hey! Put down the pipe first.

—Well, you put down the blade first. —You put down the pipe first!

Alright. I'll put down the blade.

That’s more like it...!

Wait...! I'm only sticking the blade back in its sheath!

Die...!

-You...! —Not me. It was him!

I didn’t break all the furniture. It was him... It was him...

Go hit him.

I said go hit him!

Dad?!

He’s also your dad?!

That’s some life you live-- you’ve got kids all over the place!

Hey! That’s enough!

... I sweep!

Bah! This isn’t happening!

I....

It’s cos I'm letting you win!

It's game over...!

Game over.

Alright, then. Let’s take a rest here.

Here?! Dead end. Doesn’t have any shade. What’s good about this place?

—It’s good because it’s a dead-end alley. —Lord Three, I’'m busting....

See? He wants to ‘pee’.

Please go right ahead.

Unless your peeing causes the wall to collapse,

don’t count on it as a way to escape again!

I'm not...! It's for real this time....

Four, uncuff him.

Thank you.

Thank you, Brother Four.

Don’t watch me or it'll come out all stuttering!

Hey...?!

—What’re you up to...? —Nothing! This is just how I pee.

That’s some pretty good arm strength!

—What’s this? How you go number two? —No... Just measuring the alley’s width.

So now you know. What’re you still doing up here, then?

Eat up.

Hey?! Handsome Bench Boy?

Your old man’s always berating you in front of me.

I really feel for you!

Leave it to you to come up with such a novel way of shackling me.

You expect me to try and escape at any minute, am I right?

If you wanna escape, then give the bell ring.

Makes my job a lot easier.

Upon the mountains, the white sun fades. The Yellow River flows into the sea.

Desiring to gaze across a thousand miles, ascend to an even greater height.

Nothing to see at this greater height. Hurry on back down below.

He’s like a stalking ghost!

Doesn’t get I'm angry at him; kinda rude to go off at him....

Provincial Constable?! Lord Three?! Provincial Constable?!

I’'ve had a hard time finding you...!

—Oh, it’s you. Why are you looking for me? —Yes, it's me...!

I heard some talk on the street just now...

Someone’s going to rob-- er... something.

Er... Something... Ah...! Something something...

Ah...! They’re going to rob the bank!

White Fan and some other men are preparing to rob Man-Fung Bank at noon...!

—White Fan?! —Yes!

At noon?

—You better not be playing me.... —No...!

When have I ever steered you wrong all these years?

The informant said White Fan will rob a bank.

That means we’ve got the wrong man, then!

See...?! What'd I say...?!

—I told you you’ve got the wrong guy! —What’re you doing?!

Until we’ve caught the real culprit, you’re still a suspect!

Wha...?! If you won’t let me go, I’ll sue this father and son duo!

I won’t sue you. Just you, old git!

You’ve been obstructing an officer, so I can charge you!

—Watch him! ’'m getting backup! —What’s this, then?! Unreasonable!

Hey, hey...!

Let’s be more cooperative. I won’t watch you, and you won’t leave.

—Then give me the key.... —Wait until I come back.

I’ll wait for you to come back, then.

Why wouldn’t I leave? Am I waiting for a miracle?!

One, two....

Why isn’t White Fan here yet?!

The other two have already gone.

What about you, then...?

You chickening out?

I’'ve never been scared my entire life!

Then why are you still here?

I thought it wasn’t time yet.

Early in, early out. It’s not like we signed a contract!

Alright, then. I’'m off.

Without the kid getting in the way, we can make it a nice even split...!

Now, Young Master Gold...

After our murder by borrowed knife scheme takes care of the kid,

we’ll go to Prowling Tiger Ridge tomorrow and fetch the loot.

[MAN-LUNG BANK]

Let me out!

It’s no good shouting!

—We’ll divvy this up. —Hey?

—He could easily die in there though...! —Oh, we can pin that on someone!

Hey? Your fan’s still in there. Go get it.

Hey!

What’s the meaning of this?!

Lemme teach you something.

That kick was from Young Master Gold!

He hasn’t even got hair under there and he wants to be bad?

You wanna split the loot with us? You only get to be a bloody Patsy!

And we’ll leave it at that. Grab your fan. It’s real hot behind bars!

—What’re you looking at...?! —What’s there to see?!

—Looking at other people-- —What’s there to see?!

What'’s there to see?!

Thank you. C’mon, show us a little somethin’!

I told you there’d be money just lying around!

Hmph! You bloody old coot... Trick me, will you?!

At the very least, I'll give it back!

Bonk me with it! Bonk me with it!

I acted all smart....

Oh no, you’re killing me...!

—Geez...! They could end up killing him! —Oh no, you're Killing this old fart....

Oh no, you’re killing me.

—Oh no... Don't...! —Hmph! Damn old fart!

Oh no, don'...! I'm being trampled!

Oh no, I’'m being trampled...!

Are you trying to take this old life of mine...?!

Dying, dying! Oh no, dying, dying!

Oh no... 'm dying....

Oh no, don't...!

Don’t!

Oh no, don’t! Oh no, don't!

Oh no! Don't...!

His stall’s all smashed up. My fabric will sell itself!

—Are you alright?! —Oh no... Dying....

—Still faking it, huh?! —Oh no, don’t!

—C’mon, stop fighting! —Get lost!

Oh no, dying...! Oh no...!

Oh no...! Dying....

I’m dying!

Hooray! Well done!

How smart!

Heh! You’ve lost your moustache...!

Go to hell, you!

I can’t fall over!

—Wow! Well done! Well done! —Thank you!

Thank you for coming to the show!

Fly. Flying!

I can’t fall over...!

—Show’s over. —Dead yet?!

Not yet.

Just who are you?!

—Come on! —Hey, hey...!

Try that on for size!

Oh, dear! My fabric...!

Don’t be so stingy...!

Not enough?! They’re not mine anyway, so just take 'em.

Oh, my, how could you be so bad?!

Just lemme hide here for a bit!

—Are you in cahoots...?! Jerk! —Come out...!

—Serves you right...! —You’re a damn perv, you are!

—Lemme hide here this once! —Why would I let you hide?!

Geez... Why was every hit a bullseye...?

What’s wrong with you?! How dare you lift a woman’s skirt?!

Skirt?!

Nah... I can’t fall over.

I'll bounce. Bounce!

I__

Bounce!

Want a horse that’s nice and fast. Also want it to not eat grass...!

I wanna get down!

—We shouldn’t have skimped on manpower...! —Smarten up, will ya?!

Where’d they go?

Oh no, behind me!

—I’m gonna break your leg! —C’mon, then.

They’re his!

Oh, my...! Hit the wrong one again!

Go to hell, you!

C’mon...! Told you to smarten up!

Still won’t learn, huh? You're dead, then!

Don’t go....

—Get that key first. —Oh, dear...! My fabric...!

—I'll return it later! —The cops are coming!

Let’s scram. The cops are here.

Surround the bank!

You in there, listen up!

We have you surrounded!

I’m going to count to three!

Drop your weapons, come out and surrender at once!

One! Two! Three!

Don’t move!

We're like a mitten crab at the market-- how can we move?!

Senior Brother?! Don’t be mad!

Senior Brother, I know it’s real tough walking like that.

At the very least, I'll walk like you. C’'mon....

I promised Master I’d bring you back to see him.

But if you’re wanted, how can I bring you back?

So you tied me up when I wasn’t looking!

We’re going to negotiate with the provincial constable.

Have him drop the charges against you!

Nonsense! You think you’re out shopping at the market?!

What’s there to haggle?

Surely the law isn’t above compassion?!

A country is ruled by the rule of law. It’s non-negotiable!

People can’t atone for their sins?!

He hijacked a prisoner transport. Committed awful deeds.

No leniency on account of compassion!

Well... You coppers sometimes commit awful deeds.

Nonsense! Hijacking a prisoner transport is a serious offence!

I’ll catch him for you. Like the hijacking never happened!

Nonsense....

‘Nonsense’?! You’re making me lose my senses!

You cut someone with a knife. They’ve now healed.

Does it mean you never cut them, then?!

Fine!

Right now... I've picked up your pipe!

Put down my pipe!

Now I've put it back down. So it means I never took it, then...!

Dad...! The chief’s on your back. He’s willing to catch him for you.

—What’s the problem? —Catching a crook-- Can’t I do that?!

You don’t know where he is. But I do! You’re not game, right?

I’'m off to yum cha with Senior Brother. Whatever.

Hold it right there!

You’re harbouring a wanted criminal.

You also must be apprehended!

Provincial Constable, don’t push people so far!

I've said what I have to say. So you mull over it now.

Going three times, then it’s a done deal.

It’s up to you if you’ll accept. One, two, three!

Alright, alright!

Now... If you fail to capture Gold Krait, then be prepared for prison visitation!

Forty-Sixty? Fifty-Fifty? Thirty-Seventy?!

How about this...? 70 for you, 30 for me...!

Be a pimp if you want that kind of share!

We’re old buddies... A little parting gift isn’t too much to ask, right...?

C’'mon...!

C’mon--

You... really want a parting gift, huh?

Of course....

Here! An urn for your bones!

I’'m done for!

I caught it...!

—It’s you? —You’re nothing but a viper.

Colluding with Gold Krait to ruin my senior brother?!

If 100 people like you died, it’d be worth it!

So why’d you catch it for me, then...?

I was afraid the kiddies would get hurt if it broke!

Bloody kid! Sticking your head where it doesn’t belong....

Why have you come here?!

I...

I’m here to capture you for the provincial constable!

Gold Krait... The snake catcher’s here...!

Capture me?

You will?!

What’s so funny?!

—It is pretty funny if you think about it! —How can you find it funny?!

You watch out now...! This Gold Krait is really deadly...

Especially his Tiger Tail Kick...!

Child, you want to capture me... with kung fu like that?

You're after an easy death, then.

Oh... no, no... Ah, shit!

If this Ii’l idiot’s no match for him, it’s out of the wok into the fire!

I have to help him duke it out with Gold Krait!

Eyes here now!

A hit!

Below and above!

A hit!

Wait... Not yet! You rush out there before I've even spoken to you!

Hey? His lower body kung fu is really powerful!

Now... How about you attack his upper third?

—‘Upper third’? —Go!

Good job!

You're really something!

In two or three moves, you’ve shown his upper third is even more powerful!

—You’re only telling me now?! —Have to fight on even if you'’re scared.

Let him keep pounding you and you’ll get used to it!

Easy for you to say-- you’re not the one getting hit...!

How come you still haven’t noticed that he’s a one-hoof horse?

He’s only good with his left foot!

Since you understand him so well, why don’t you go?

If I go, who'll be your martial arts choreographer, then?

Get out there...!

A little bitter frustration is equal to motivation.

Scared is something we both are. Go!

Get up. Come on. Get up, then.

Why don’t you fight back...?!

I’ve gotta hit him first...!

We’re not playing for fun here...!

Don't let go!

Even if the God of Thunder smites you, don’t let go...!

I got 'im...!

If you got him, then keep it up...!

Look out!

Oh, geez... Why’s it a fail after a win?

That kick was a bit too hard...!

Oh no, he’s coming again! Get up...!

Get up...!

C’mon, ¢’mon....

Get up...!

Keep soldiering on...!

I can’t look!

Pull yourself together! Steady now... Pull yourself together!

A few more kicks, he’ll be out of breath.

Out of breath, then tired feet. Tired feet, then it’s your turn to shine.

I’'m also outta breath...!

Right, right...!

Fresh air...!

Water....

—Water.... —Water? Of course, yes, yes...!

Miraculous water is here!

Like a duck takes to water!

Hey, now... This is only round one!

Wha...?! It’s only round one?!

That’s right! Endure three more rounds,

and the bloody old git will be all worn out!

Oh no, he’s coming over. Shit....

Attack. Attack.

Show him no mercy! Attack! Attack!

Hey?! What do you want?! Stay back!

You want to hit the referee as well?!

Hitting the ref’s against the rules! Hey, hey...? Take care of it for me.

Oh, geez... Why aren’t you taking care of it?!

Don’t be gentle with the bloody old git!

You think we’re holding a celebration of the elderly?! Go! Go!

Go already! Go...!

Over here, over here...! Fresh air. Fresh air...!

—Water... Water! —Fresh air.

—Water...! —Here, here....

You won this round!

How’d that happen?!

Because I'm the referee!

Back again-- attack!

Keep soldiering on...!

Lock his legs...!

Don’t let him rest, no matter what!

—Here, have some water.... —Water....

Oh no, he’s back again!

It's not as scary if I have a wall between us.

How come an encounter of the third kind would still be so powerful...?

You really are something! I bow down to you.

I only now understand what a real young man is!

You’re not only impossible to beat!

You simply look brand new forever!

You don’t have to comfort me.

Water....

—Give me water...! —Water? Right, right...!

Water’s here! Now, boy. I'll make sure your life won’t wash away!

Drink as much as you’ve been beat. Not even a deity’s life is this sweet.

Drink! Decades-old tobacco kills germs!

Pfft... Waterpipe tobacco is still water-- it’s just more bitter, is all!

Here... Fresh air.

You bloody convict!

Without an ifor a but, you kicked me in my coconut...!

Taking the gold and leaving the silver. You sure are good at taking!

The price of gold is on the rise....

‘On the rise’, huh...?

It really rises quickly, and drops quickly too....

Well done! Good job!

Hold it right there...!

Boy... you're really something.

You're really something!

You won...!

This prize money-- we’ll take half each.

What’re you doing?! What're--

It’s only a belt. Go ahead and keep it...!

Master?! Senior Brother’s back!

—C’'mon. —Whoa! Senior Brother’s back!

Senior Brother’s back...!

Master...!

Get up. Get up....

—Where’s Lung? —Over there.

Hurry up...! C’'mon...!

[SOLEMN SILENCE ; ELIMINATE CRIME ; COMFORT THE MASSES ; AVOIDANCE]

Hurry up...! Hey! C’'mon...! He’s over here!

—Qutta the way...! —Excuse me...!

[BRAVERY]

Master... I’'m back!

How did you end up like this? Carry him back. Carry him back....

In Kaifeng there was Justice Pao

Iron-faced and selfless, discerning the loyal from the traitors

The great men of the Jiang Hu rallied around him!

Wang Chao and Ma Han by his side...!

Co-Starring: BRUCE TONG, DAVID CHENG, CHIANG KAM, CHENG KANG-YEH

Production Manager: MAO LU

Screenplay: LAU TIN-CHI, TUNG LO, EDWARD TANG

Martial Arts Directors: JACKIE CHAN, FUNG HAK-ON

Assistant Martial Arts Directors: BRUCE TONG, DANNY CHOW

Director’s Assistants: CHEN CHI-HWA, LAW KEI

Assistant Directors: EDWARD TANG, TUNG LO

Editing: PETER CHEUNG

Cinematography: CHRIS CHEN Focus Puller: STEPHEN POON

Props: WONG SHUN-CHANG Costumes: CHU SHENG-SHI

Makeup: SIMON CHAN Hair: NG YUET-OI

Sets: MAI HO

Writer-Director: JACKIE CHAN