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1
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[upbeat saxophone music]
2
00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:09,509
* *
3
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,722
- Oh, my God.
This is just what I needed.
4
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,015
Yes.
5
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:18,059
- Not--not--
this is not for you.
6
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:22,022
I just planned
a nice little guy's night
7
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,523
for me and your dad.
8
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,650
Charcuterie and pinot grig?
9
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,236
That's sweet,
but you know my dad's
10
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:31,322
more a Modelo and
gas station potato kind of guy.
11
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,408
- No, I think you are wrong
about your dad.
12
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,577
We had a real breakthrough
the other day.
13
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,662
He hugged me.
14
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:41,958
- Are you sure he wasn't trying
to steal your wallet?
15
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,376
Yes, I am.
16
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,045
He showed me that he doesn't
completely hate me,
17
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,463
and that is a huge win.
18
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,964
So I need to seize this moment.
19
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,717
I'm gonna take our bromance
to the next level.
20
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:53,219
- Oh, my God.
This is just what I needed.
21
00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:54,721
Thank you, George. Yeah.
22
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,097
I tried to do, like,
the cheeses
23
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,390
on the side that we could--
24
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,392
- This piece of wood
is the perfect size
25
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:03,104
to cover the shotgun hole
in my truck.
26
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,190
She could have said
she was married.
27
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:09,069
[upbeat saxophone music]
28
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:16,284
* *
29
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,710
{\an8}- Sandra Bullock is so good
in "Miss Congeniality"
30
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:28,380
{\an8}that I forgive her
for "The Blind Side"
31
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:32,592
{\an8}Sorry.
32
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,344
{\an8}I just keep thinking about
how it should be your dad
33
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:37,472
{\an8}under those Pure Retinol
Express Smoothing Eye Masks.
34
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,934
{\an8}- Look, I love that you love
this stuff.
35
00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:42,894
{\an8}But if you want to spend time
with my dad,
36
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,438
{\an8}you have to find something
that he's into.
37
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,232
{\an8}Like yelling, "He's got a gun"
38
00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,484
{\an8}when the grocery store line
is too long.
39
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,238
{\an8}Ayy.
40
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,824
{\an8}Ayy.
41
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:59,202
{\an8}Ayy.
42
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,453
{\an8}What's wrong?
43
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:04,290
{\an8}- We just lost our friend Jesse
to booze.
44
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:06,668
{\an8}- Oh, no.
Did he drink himself to death?
45
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,378
{\an8}No.
46
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,463
{\an8}He got sober.
47
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,926
{\an8}- He thinks he's better than us
because he stopped shaking
48
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,303
{\an8}and his wife took him back.
49
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,056
{\an8}So now we're short a player
50
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,516
{\an8}for our
fantasy baseball league.
51
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,935
{\an8}I swear, some people only
think of themselves!
52
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,938
{\an8}But what about Quinten?
53
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,315
{\an8}He likes sports and he never
thinks about himself.
54
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,485
{\an8}This is fantasy baseball,
Mayan,
55
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,946
{\an8}and none of my fantasies
include Quinten.
56
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,827
{\an8}Um, excuse me,
57
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,912
{\an8}could you give us a moment
while I confer
58
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,247
{\an8}with my associate?
59
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,459
{\an8}- Oh. Oh. Okay.
- Yeah.
60
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,839
{\an8}- We should let Quinten
in the league.
61
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,549
{\an8}- But he doesn't know anything
about baseball.
62
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,343
{\an8}Every time it comes up,
all he mentions
63
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,970
{\an8}is Madonna and Geena Davis.
64
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,806
{\an8}- Babe, wh--what are you doing?
65
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,516
{\an8}I don't know anything
about baseball.
66
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,060
{\an8}Other than there's
no crying in it,
67
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,978
{\an8}which is a nonstarter for me.
68
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,689
- If you wanna bond
with my dad,
69
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,566
this is it and I can help you.
70
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,486
I know baseball
and I'm 50% George.
71
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:18,573
- He got fired
from coaching T-ball.
72
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:21,785
It'll be the easiest 20 bucks
we make.
73
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,413
Why stop at 20?
74
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,750
Okay, Faux DiMaggio.
75
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,253
You're in.
76
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,964
[upbeat saxophone music]
77
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:38,218
- And that's how Prince Ben
and Princess JLo
78
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,053
lived happily ever after.
79
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,305
Oh. Again.
80
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,934
- I can't believe
she took him back.
81
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:48,436
- These fairy tales are crazy.
- [chuckles]
82
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,148
The boys are here to draft.
83
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:55,527
- I don't understand why
I couldn't use the moving cart.
84
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:58,571
- Because that's for work
and this is pleasure.
85
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:01,157
- Okay. Now put that keg
in the corner over there,
86
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,076
or you're fired.
87
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,911
[grunts]
88
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,496
- You gonna come in or what,
Momo?
89
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,248
- You can't enter a room
you're not invited into.
90
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,125
It's bad luck.
91
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,418
What are you, a vampire?
92
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:12,961
Ta loco.Get in here.
93
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,633
- Yo, I didn't know a star was
gonna be here.
94
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,594
You're "Don't take a chance"
Chance from the ads.
95
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,848
- Grandpa, are your friends
showing up already drunk?
96
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,476
Yeah, probably.
97
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:32,272
But he's talking about
how I used your picture
98
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:34,816
in one of my insurance ads.
99
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,863
- When did I have crutches
and a neck brace?
100
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,284
I photoshopped it.
101
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:47,495
Makes you wanna buy insurance,
right?
102
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:48,955
Nobody needs insurance.
103
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:52,417
I've never had insurance,
and I'm doing just fine.
104
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,627
You live in my room.
105
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,548
[upbeat saxophone music]
106
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,925
* *
107
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,344
- That's what you're
gonna wear
108
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,596
to my dad's
fantasy baseball draft?
109
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:08,933
- Aren't these the colors
of the Florida Salmons?
110
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,979
You mean the Marlins?
111
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,147
Oh, God.
112
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,482
They're gonna eat me alive,
aren't they?
113
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,108
No, I got you.
114
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,985
Look, I picked up some stuff
to help you fit in.
115
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:22,280
Now take off that hat
and put this on.
116
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,199
Are you giving me a makeover?
117
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,910
I feel like Anne Hathaway
in "The Princess Diaries."
118
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,496
Don't talk about Anne,
119
00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:32,248
princesses, or diaries
in front of my dad.
120
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:35,960
Now let me show you how
to be a down-ass fool.
121
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,048
Sit your ass down, fool.
122
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,429
No, you gotta manspread.
123
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,430
- See?
- Oh.
124
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,890
Like, you know.
125
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,100
Hoh!
126
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,396
They do this
to unstick everything.
127
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:55,897
Yeah.
128
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,441
- Oh.
- Yeah.
129
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,443
Oh, works for us too.
130
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:04,489
- This feels great.
What about baseball?
131
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,199
Oh, I made you a cheat sheet.
132
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:09,202
And I put it on a paper towel
so you can disguise it.
133
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,995
- What if they ask me something
that's not on it?
134
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,497
- Simple.
You just distract them
135
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,916
by saying "Los Doyers."
136
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,461
Are you saying "The Dodgers?"
137
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,922
Yeah. "Los Doyers."
138
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,177
- Am I allowed to say that
like that?
139
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,556
- Yes.
Now take your cheat sheet
140
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,057
and get out there, champ.
141
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,143
Oh. I'm so nervous.
142
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,728
This must be what
the players feel like
143
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,271
before the curtain goes up.
144
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,857
[upbeat saxophone music]
145
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:43,528
Oh, hey.
146
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,614
This is Momo, Arturo,
Nick, and Luis.
147
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,034
This is Yawn Mendes.
148
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,203
Actually, it's Quinten.
149
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,706
That's not any better.
150
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,501
- As commissioner
of the league,
151
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:01,171
I like keep everything equal
and fair.
152
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,839
So I'ma draft first.
153
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:07,218
I will take Juan Soto.
154
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,762
All right. Oscar, you're up.
155
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,139
I'm gonna take Miguel Vargas
156
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:14,184
from "Los Doyers."
157
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,187
all: "Los Doyers."
158
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,522
- Loose Dough-ears. Ha.
159
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:28,031
- Hey, did you say
"loose dough-ears?"
160
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,867
Come on, man. Pick a player.
161
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:31,951
Okay.
162
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,536
- Oh, perfect, a tissue.
Thank you.
163
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,539
- No.
[blowing nose]
164
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,833
Can I--
[blowing continues]
165
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,127
Can I have that back, please?
166
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,630
- Sure.
I blasted it pretty good.
167
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,424
- Okay, come on, man.
Just pick a player
168
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,510
Okay. Yeah. Um...
169
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,553
I'm gonna pick--
170
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,682
Churro?
171
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:56,601
Did you say Chourio?
172
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,895
Jackson Chourio
from the Brewers?
173
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,605
- Yes. That--that is a player.
174
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,691
All right. Hey.
175
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,609
That's a solid pick.
I was gonna pick him.
176
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,319
Oh. No. Oh, I'm sorry.
177
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:07,529
Uh, should I give him back?
178
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,155
No, man.
179
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,658
Screwing people over
is part of the fantasy.
180
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,118
Oh. All right.
181
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,120
Well, then, I am gonna be
screwing you
182
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,621
real hard, Georgie.
183
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,332
[laughs]
184
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,917
That's what I'm talking about.
185
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,838
- What's your name again?
- His name is Quinten.
186
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,214
Let's get some beers, eh?
187
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,550
- I am just a boy,
standing in front
188
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,761
of his sort of father-in-law,
being called by my real name.
189
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,931
- Hey, Quinten, you want
to do the honors, man?
190
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,391
Do the first keg stand.
191
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,893
Wah! Okay. Oh.
192
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,562
Okay, but pull my legs apart
193
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,605
'cause I wanna manspread
while I do it.
194
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,191
Oh!
195
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,111
Yeah! Yeah!
196
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,738
Chug! Chug! Chug!
197
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,740
all: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
198
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,575
Chug! Chug! Chug!
199
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,827
- Oh, damn.
You guys are having fun.
200
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,204
- I wanna drink all my drinks
upside down.
201
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,082
Hey, I got an idea.
202
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,752
Let's everybody come back
tomorrow for some carne asada.
203
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,296
Yeah.
204
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:07,464
Oh, what should I make?
205
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,008
Uh, yourself scarce.
206
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,761
It's just for guys, Mayan.
207
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,137
Guys only?
208
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,722
I think Quinten has something
to say about that.
209
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,098
Yes.
210
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,600
I will be there.
211
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,518
And some guac would
be nice too.
212
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,853
[laughs] Some guac.
213
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,522
[upbeat saxophone music]
214
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,649
- Quinten did nothing,
while the men turned me
215
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,611
into their personal elotero.
216
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:30,904
That's awful.
217
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,448
You don't even know
how to boil corn.
218
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:36,368
- And can you believe
they said no women allowed?
219
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,287
I mean, what is this,
"The Little Rascals"?
220
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:42,749
- I think it's better that
the men and women are separate.
221
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,292
They can brag
about their penises.
222
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,670
We can complain
about their penises.
223
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,339
But we're a team.
224
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,800
We should be out there bragging
about his penis together,
225
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,677
as a family.
226
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,638
- Couples in your generation
want to do everything together.
227
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,140
It's sick.
228
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:03,144
I think it's good that Quinten
is bonding with those guys.
229
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,396
Or any guys.
230
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,106
He can't always be
hanging out with you
231
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:09,734
braiding hair
and painting toenails.
232
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,319
He likes it.
233
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,655
He said it reminds him of when
he did his mom's nails.
234
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,824
Oh, my God. I hear myself.
235
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,951
- Ooh, they are loving me
out there.
236
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,244
You should have seen me.
237
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,871
I chugged a whole beer--
over two hours.
238
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:25,166
- So you're enjoying it?
- Oh, yeah.
239
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,168
Yeah, they're laughing
at all my jokes,
240
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:31,881
your dad punched me in the nuts
affectionately,
241
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:35,010
and get this--
we made fun of someone.
242
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,096
Someone else that wasn't me.
243
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,597
Well, I'm happy you're happy.
244
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,099
Yeah.
245
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,353
- Stop giving me that
"I told you so" look.
246
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,355
I'm not.
247
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:50,483
It's my "I can't believe
I'm always right" look.
248
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:53,445
[upbeat saxophone music]
249
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,904
* *
250
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,740
- Nana, I've got something
for you.
251
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,451
- Oh, did you draw me
a picture?
252
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,745
No. You've been served.
253
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:04,372
What?
254
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,833
- You used my face
on your insurance ads
255
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,209
without asking me.
256
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:11,755
My buddy Diego's mom's a lawyer
and she taught me
257
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,716
how to write up
a "grease and resist."
258
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:17,052
A cease and desist?
259
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,346
Whatever you want to call it.
260
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:22,807
- Well, of course I respect
your wishes.
261
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,018
You're entitled
to your privacy.
262
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:28,897
Fame and fortune, oh,
can take a huge toll.
263
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,315
Fortune?
264
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,151
We talkin' the cookie
or the dough?
265
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,820
Because of you,
266
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,697
my insurance sales
have gone up,
267
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,449
so I think it's time
you get a cut.
268
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:42,494
Cash? Under the table?
269
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:47,415
- I was thinking more
in tickets to Universal.
270
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,625
VIP?
271
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:51,461
Is there any other way?
272
00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,088
Done.
273
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,340
[upbeat saxophone music]
274
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:58,301
- Hey, that carne asada
smells good, Q-Ball.
275
00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,011
- Q-Ball?
276
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,097
You gave me a nickname
that's not mean.
277
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:05,183
- No, it's white,
but it's hard.
278
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,434
Ha.
279
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,435
Yeah, no, check it.
280
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,938
I marinated it
in bergamot citrus
281
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,482
with a splash
of gochujang sauce.
282
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:18,029
No, I mean, I drenched
these bad boys
283
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:21,116
in some dank-ass OJ
with some hot sauce.
284
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:24,452
Yeah, that's gonna burn
on the way in and out.
285
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,037
- Hey, look at that
dynamic duo,
286
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,580
Batman and Robin.
287
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,582
I'm Batman. I said it first.
288
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:33,086
- Don't make me the Penguin,
'cause I'm scared of birds.
289
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,297
- Well, I know I'm not supposed
to be here.
290
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,258
I'm just dropping off the corn
I boiled myself
291
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,260
and definitely didn't buy
at Boston Market.
292
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,220
- Yeah, just put 'em
over there, babe.
293
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,763
- [laughs]
- Yeah.
294
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,016
Hey, that was an awesome
spring training game yesterday.
295
00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:47,475
Huh? "Los Doyers."
296
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,894
all: "Los Doyers."
297
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,187
- I bet I win fantasy
this year.
298
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,814
Did you see Vargas'
ground rule double?
299
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,357
Uh, babe.
300
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,151
That's when the ball bounces
off the field
301
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,403
into the stands,
thus advancing the batter
302
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,321
to second base.
303
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,115
- Keep mansplaining baseball
to me
304
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:04,993
and I'll advance my foot
up your ass.
305
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,205
- I'm starting to get worried
about my team, man.
306
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:11,374
Seager had three errors
yesterday.
307
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,960
- Man, Seager?
That fool throws like a girl.
308
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,754
You see him?
He's out there like--
309
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,172
ayy!
310
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:20,175
This mitt is gonna totally
destroy my manicure.
311
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,677
I mean, come on.
312
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,305
I wouldn't say
"throws like a girl."
313
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:28,600
[sputters] I--but I would say
314
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,644
runs like one too, right?
315
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:34,856
[high-pitched voice]
OMG, I made it to first.
316
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:38,109
Home run, bitches.
Let's brunch.
317
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:42,030
- Bottomless mimosas!
- Oh, my God!
318
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:45,241
- Selfie.
- Oh, my God. Selfie.
319
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:48,286
- Man, these girls seem like
a fun time.
320
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,246
[upbeat saxophone music]
321
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,335
[upbeat saxophone music]
322
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:58,088
- Chance?
Are you almost ready?
323
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,886
You look adorable.
324
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,472
I look ridiculous.
325
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:10,767
Just like the men
in your calendar.
326
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,394
I bought that for charity.
327
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:15,146
The station named a pole
after me.
328
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,564
[clears throat] Anyway,
329
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,775
you've already rejected
three outfits.
330
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,110
Can we just go with this one?
331
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:23,154
- Fine.
But I'm not wearing the hat.
332
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,824
It's not in my contract.
333
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,534
What contract?
334
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:32,747
"No hats"?
335
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,959
- If you'll flip to the clause
on the back...
336
00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:37,335
Oreos?
337
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,546
Yes. I require Mega Stuffed.
338
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:43,049
If it's a single stuff, I walk.
339
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,342
I don't have any.
340
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,344
Sounds like a you problem.
341
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,931
I'll be in my dressing room
until you figure it out.
342
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,892
- Hey, Gordo.
- No eye contact.
343
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,186
- What's with him?
- [sighs] I created a monster.
344
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,772
No, I created a monster.
345
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,315
Quinten's gone too far,
346
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,276
and I've got to do something
about it.
347
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,236
I'm not going to support
his toxic behavior anymore.
348
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:05,447
- Toxic? The most aggressive
thing I've seen him do
349
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,450
is insist on bagging
his own groceries. [laughs]
350
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,243
Mayan. I need your help.
351
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,661
What now?
352
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:13,329
You want me to put on an apron
and bake you up
353
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,124
a warm batch of snickerdoodles?
354
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,376
No. I need baseball advice.
355
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,045
But you can make
the cookies after,
356
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,212
and I prefer chocolate chip.
357
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,089
Drown him.
358
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,801
- Well, I don't want anything
to get in the way
359
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,928
of your valuable time
with the guys.
360
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:31,097
- What info do you need?
- Okay.
361
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:34,392
Momo wants to trade
my Betts for a Kirk.
362
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,353
Does that mean anything to you?
363
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,563
- Well, if you're gonna trade
a player like that,
364
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,690
you're gonna have to get
someone good,
365
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:43,902
like the greatest
home run hitter of all time.
366
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,111
Who's that?
367
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,447
- His name
is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
368
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:50,241
Okay. Great. Yeah.
369
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,744
What else you got?
370
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,621
[upbeat saxophone music]
371
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,915
But of course my top pick
is gonna be
372
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,292
first baseman, Wrigley Field.
373
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:04,673
That's a stadium, fool.
374
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,966
- And Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
doesn't play baseball.
375
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,468
He's a TV writer.
376
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,430
- What's up, Q-Ball?
377
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,807
It sounds like you did
an eight ball,
378
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:16,267
and if you did, how come
you're not sharing it, man?
379
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,436
- No, um, I was just
testing you.
380
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:22,065
Good news, no dementia.
381
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:24,776
- Wait, were you testing
me too?
382
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,444
Did I pass?
383
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,947
- Yeah.
You're medically cleared.
384
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,949
- But I would get that weird
mole on your neck
385
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,283
checked out, though.
386
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,619
- That's a pinto bean
I'm saving for later.
387
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,789
Mayan. Hey.
388
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,958
All the baseball information
you gave me was wrong.
389
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,668
Oh, was it?
390
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,962
- Wait, why--
why would you do that to me?
391
00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:46,965
Are you jealous I'm hanging out
with G-Lo?
392
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,258
No.
393
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,427
And don't call him that.
394
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,303
What is it then?
395
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,181
Is it that time of the month?
396
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:58,018
- Yes, but that's
a crazy coincidence.
397
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,022
Are you hearing the way
you're talking to me?
398
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,815
Who are you?
399
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:07,694
- I'm Q-Ball,
'cause I'm white and hard.
400
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,571
What--what--what is
the big deal?
401
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,989
I-I'm hanging out
with the boys.
402
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:14,284
I'm bonding with your dad.
We're chugging brewsteens.
403
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,911
Brewskis.
404
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,330
The only reason you know
what to say, what to wear,,
405
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:22,167
and what to do
is because of me.
406
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,336
Okay. Okay.
407
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,338
So you're not getting
any credit,
408
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,006
and you decided you're just
gonna embarrass me
409
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,132
in front of everybody?
410
00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:30,508
You're embarrassing yourself
411
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,302
by acting like a sexist pig.
412
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:33,678
[stammers]
413
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,263
No matter what I do,
there's no winning.
414
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,681
I can't do nothing.
415
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,393
Wow.
416
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,354
I thought you wanted
to be friends with my dad,
417
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,356
not turn into my dad.
418
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,525
- Women, huh?
Must be that time of the month.
419
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,611
It's a coincidence!
420
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,489
[upbeat saxophone music]
421
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,247
Don't give me that look.
422
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,791
You drink from the toilet.
423
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:05,710
- Hey, Mayan, you seen Q-Ball?
424
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,046
We're playing strip beer pong.
It's his turn.
425
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,715
That is a tough game.
426
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,010
Q-Ball is gone.
427
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:16,930
But Quinten is here.
428
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:17,972
- What's up, Q-Ball?
429
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,724
How come you look
like a dork again?
430
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,687
I don't like baseball.
431
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:26,147
And I don't like brewskis.
432
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:29,234
And I don't like being sexist.
433
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,654
I was pretending to be someone
I'm not to get you to like me.
434
00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,280
A-and I completely forgot
about the person
435
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,448
I want to like me the most.
436
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:39,703
- Dude, I know we just met,
but same.
437
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:44,457
He's talking about me.
438
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,376
You're talking about me, right?
439
00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,379
- Listen, I don't know
what's going on,
440
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,172
but if you ate what
Oscar was handing out,
441
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:53,008
go barf right now.
442
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,384
No, George.
443
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,511
I'm thinking straight
for the first time all week.
444
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:59,139
Yeah, but guys,
the truth is...
445
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,182
I love brunch.
446
00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:03,768
And I love pinot grig.
447
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,062
And I love not having
puffy eyes.
448
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:10,775
But most of all...
449
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,360
I love you.
450
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,158
I love you too.
451
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,701
And forget second base.
452
00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:22,412
You're getting
a grand slam later.
453
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,372
Yes!
454
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,374
I'm finally going to Denny's!
455
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:29,336
[upbeat saxophone music]
456
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:31,046
* *
457
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,172
I'm here.
458
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,757
You're late.
459
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:37,969
I had to pour my own
apple juice.
460
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,138
- We said we'd meet at 1:00.
It's 1:00.
461
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:43,099
- In this business,
if you're not 15 minutes early,
462
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,435
you're 30 minutes late.
463
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:46,895
Sit down, Gordo.
464
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,022
We need to talk.
465
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:50,815
[sighs] Unfortunately,
466
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,109
I don't think we can
continue our partnership.
467
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:55,695
But you're nothing without me.
468
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:58,573
- Yeah, sorry, but I already
found your replacement.
469
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:05,246
Insurance is hot, dog.
470
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:06,998
Churro is your new model?
471
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,708
There's no way
that's gonna work.
472
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:12,337
Actually, since these ads
went up yesterday,
473
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,839
I already sold five policies.
474
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,092
[sighs]
475
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,344
It's a fickle business.
476
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,930
Enjoy the ride while it lasts,
kid.
477
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:26,643
[upbeat saxophone music]
478
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:28,645
* *
479
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:32,857
- They fell in love
while he was sleeping.
480
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,611
- Technically, wasn't he
in a coma?
481
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:37,862
- You can still sleep when
you're in a coma.
482
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,447
Shh.
483
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:41,741
How am I supposed to learn
484
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:43,576
if you don't let me
ask questions?
485
00:20:44,703 --> 00:20:46,204
I got you a cheat sheet.
486
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,455
This is all you need to know
487
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:49,582
about every
Sandra Bullock rom-com.
488
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,460
Every plot is basically
the same.
489
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,045
She doesn't get what she wants,
490
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,756
but she always gets
what she needs.
491
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,676
{\an8}And if you get lost, just yell,
"Sandy B!"
492
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:02,429
{\an8}- Shh. I wanna know
what brother she chooses,
493
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:05,390
{\an8}the hot one or the hotter one.
494
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:10,603
{\an8}Well, we know that she might
not need what she wants,
495
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,981
{\an8}but need what she needs.
496
00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:16,818
{\an8}What? That makes no sense.
497
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:21,573
{\an8}Sandy B!
498
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,575
{\an8}All: Sandy B!
499
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,161
{\an8}[glasses clinking]
500
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,830
{\an8}[upbeat saxophone music]
501
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:33,430
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